First Times, Second Chances
At last, it was all over. Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were safely married to one another, the wedding reception had gone without a hitch - ha ha, that's funny, wedding without a hitch, I have to keep that in mind - and Twilight Sparkle could finally, finally sit down, kick back and relax, with the help of her friends and some bottles of the best wine that you could find in Canterlot Castle's extensive cellars.
To be exact, it was only Twilight and Rarity who were drinking wine; Fluttershy had a goblet in front of her, but the shy pegasus had been taking infinitesimal sips from it, barely wetting her lips. Twilight had done some quick calculations in her head, and found that given the rate Fluttershy was drinking her wine and her pegasus metabolism, she was actually getting more sober as the night went on.
The other three mares seated around the garden table in the bower reserved for the bridesmaids and the best mare were neither drinking wine, nor getting any more sober.. Not by a long shot - oh, another pun! I should write these down so I can remember them tomorrow morning!
Applejack had been drinking the most, but between her muscle mass and Earth pony resilience, she showed it the least. Rainbow Dash, being a literal light-weight like most pegasi, was in turn the most obviously blitzed, despite not having downed even half the amount of whisky AJ had.
Pinkie Pie, who had been finishing up the contents of the numerous punch bowls left unattended as the palace gardens slowly emptied of guests, was somewhere in between, although as always it was hard to say how much of her giggling and exuberant babbling was due to the drink and how much was due to her being Pinkie Pie.
"Oh! Oh, oh, oh! I'm feeling something!" Pinkie blurted out all of a sudden. Twilight and her friends turned to look at her in alarm; inexplicable as it was, she had admitted that Pinkie Sense worked, somehow, and when the pink pony had one of her premonitions, it was smart to pay attention.
"Whazzit, something's gonna drop or what, Pinks?" Rainbow slurred, causing Applejack to pull her trusty cowpony hat down over her ears.
"N-n-n-no, t-t-t-this is a r-r-real d-d-d-do-do-doooozy," Pinkie warbled, vibrating violently on her seat. "W-w-w-wo-wo-wwwwooooooaaaah!" There was an audible *whooompf* as her carefully tamed mane-do and tail exploded into fluffy, frizzy clouds of hair. Then it was over, leaving Pinkie sitting there looking dazed.
"What was it, Pinkie?" Twilight asked, trying hard to not feel anxious again. "What happened?"
"I- I'm not sure," Pinkie said. "It was something to do with your big bro and Cadance. But don't worry Twilight, it was a good kind of a doozy!" she added quickly.
Twilight blinked, her brain shifting to a higher gear. Shining Armor and Cadance, good kind of a doozy... A series of data points flickered through her mind: the map of Canterlot and the surrounding countryside and the location of the royal country house Princess Celestia had lent to the newly-wed couple; correlate that with the expected velocity of a wedding carriage drawn by Royal Guards; add time for the stairs, undressing and... Oh. Oh! OH! She turned brilliantly red as the realization dawned.
Rainbow Dash was the first of her friends to get it. "Whoah! Awesome goin', you guys," she cried, grinning broadly. "Twi's B.B.B.F.F. just got lucky with Princess Hot Wings!"
"Rainbow!" Twilight yelped, trying to stop her unruly brain from calculating her brother's and sister-in-law's likely performance statistics. She's a demi-alicorn, but only manifesting pegasus and unicorn blood, so she hasn't got Earth pony stamina... and Shining has undergone the Guard physical training ... no, no, think something else, quickly!
Rarity came to her rescue. "Rainbow Dash!" she said in a shocked tone of voice. "I know that Pinkie Pie can't help having her little fits, but you should be more discreet. Look how you've embarrassed poor Fluttershy!" She tilted her head towards her shy friend, who was indeed blushing, but nowhere near as much as Twilight.
The pegasus blinked. "Aw geez, Rarity, we all know they're getting it on. What else would they be doing on their wedding night; playing Scrabble?"
"That's not the point, darling. A lady would leave such matters unsaid."
"Good thing I'm not a lady, then," Rainbow quipped back.
The unicorn gave her a frosty look. "No, you are not, considering the way you acted around that Wonderbolt officer! The others may have missed it, but I noticed you two vanishing for over half an hour-"
"Hey, lay off 'bout me and Soarin'," Rainbow snapped, her wings suddenly flaring open. "And don't you act so high and mighty yourself, I saw how you were drooling to get into Fancy Pants' pants! I mean, if he'd been wearing pants. His meth- metam-... his pants he wasn't wearing!"
Rarity gasped loudly and opened her mouth, no doubt to give Dash another piece of her mind. Before she could get started, however, Applejack spoke.
"Shaddup." The farm pony's even, calm voice was more effective than a dragon's roar would have been, making everyone turn to look at her. "We all've been in one fight already today, an' Ah reckon that's more 'n enough. So shaddup, both of you, an' stop actin' like stupid goddang foals."
Under Applejack's stern gaze, Rarity's shoulder slumped, and Rainbow Dash's wings drooped. "I'm sorry," they muttered in unison.
"That's better," Applejack said, giving Twilight a concerned look. "You okay there, Twi?"
The unicorn emptied her glass and nodded weakly. "Uh, yes. Rainbow's right, of course, but it's one thing understanding on an intellectual level that your brother and babysitter are going to have sex, and uh, realizing they are having sex right now as we speak!" Well, probably not right now, he's going to need some time to recuperate, unless Cadance knows more love magic than - no, no, I'm not going there again!
"It was, um, bit of a shock," Twilight continued. "So please, Pinkie, if you start feeling anything else funny - you know what I mean! - please keep it to yourself!"
"Okey-dokey-lokey!" Pinkie said, nodding vigorously. "But I think you don't have to worry about that, Twilight! It's not going to be a doozy the second time now that they're married and all!"
"Eee-yup, that makes sense," Applejack said sagely. "Ev'rypony knows yer first time's supposed to be all magical an' special." Everypony around the table, except for Twilight, nodded. "Why, Ah remember my first time..."
Twilight blanched, realizing where this was going to go. She'd read about this kind of a situation many times, both in novels and in non-fiction books. They would all share intimate stories, reinforcing their ties of friendship and gaining new insight into one another. Dread filled her; having Pinkie explode with another sex-related doozy, twice, would have been infinitely preferable to the prospect of having to talk about her first time with her friends!
"It was the next summer after Ah came back from Manehattan an' got my cutie mark," Applejack reminisced. "Granny hosted the Apple family reunion at Sweet Apple Acres that year, an' everypony came to see us an' little Applebloom, even those who hadn't made it to the fun'ral, to pay their last respects to Ma an' Pa. My cousin Braeburn came over with his folks, too."
She took a swig of whisky and smiled fondly. "He's always been my favorite cousin. We're the same age, y'see, an' his folks used to live nearby, in Saddleford, so we were always visitin' one another's family an' playin' together. He used to tease me for not havin' my cutie mark yet, so now that Ah had finally got it, Ah wanted to flaunt it to him an' all."
Rainbow Dash snickered, earning a nasty look from Rarity, but Applejack didn't seem to notice. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were listening to her story with unusually similar expressions of rapt interest.
"So anyway, me an' Braeburn had a great time together. He was already mighty handsome fella, an' Ah had all my stories from Manehattan. One night, when Granny was busy, we nicked a jug of cider from the adults' table - the strong stuff with honey an' cinnamon in it, see? - an' snuck into the orchards to drink it. Ah knew a good place where nopony woulda bothered us, but Ah forgot that Big Mac knew it also. Me an' Braeburn found him making out with Bon-Bon there."
"Bon-Bon? The confectioner?" Twilight said, unable hide her surprise. Lyra and Bon-Bon weren't the only same-sex couple in Ponyville, of course, but they were the ones everypony knew about. Even she had figured it out within a week of moving into town.
"Eee-yup," Applejack said, mimicking her brother's stoic tone perfectly. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash immediately burst into laughter.
"Oh, it's not as odd as it seems," Rarity said. "She must have dated a dozen stallions before Lyra moved into Ponyville from Canterlot and made her realize which sex she really was interested in. Please, do go on, Applejack."
"Right. So we beat a hasty retreat an' headed out to another nice 'n' quiet spot Ah knew about, and uncorked that jug. It was mighty strong stuff for ponies as young as us, an' sooner you could say 'Glockenapfel', we were tipsy. Hay, we were downright sloshed! An' one of us, Ah can't remember which, suggested we try makin' out, too. An' so we did. Ah'd kissed a coupla fellows before, but not for reals. Not like Ah kissed Braeburn..." Applejack fell silent, a dreamy expression on her face.
"Hold on, AJ," Rainbow Dash said, a queasy note in her voice. "I just realized Braeburn's your cousin, like a cousin cousin. Like, he's your aunt and uncle's kid. And you're telling you guys... ewww!" Her discomfort was mirrored on Rarity's face; apparently, the wine had slowed the unicorn's usual lightning-fast social intelligence down to the point where Dash had gotten the obvious implication before her.
Applejack frowned. "Ain't nothin' wrong with that. We Apples marry our cousins all the time!"
"She's right," Twilight said, unable to let the opportunity to lecture pass. "Cousin marriage is perfectly legal in Equestria. It's an old tradition, going back to the days of the Founding! But these days, only the high unicorn nobility such as Princess Cadance's family and the old farming clans, like Apples and Oranges and Barleycorns, practice it. It's a way to keep both the land and the cutie marks in the family, so to speak."
The farmpony grinned. "Seems like them hoity-toity nobles got more sense than Ah thought, no offense to yer sister-in-law, Twi. So anyhow, things got a mite heated up between me an' Braeburn, an' y'all can guess where that lead. He was a gent about it, he was; said he could take care of himself an' all. Ah told him to shaddup an' show me what he could do, an' cousin Braeburn, he rose to the challenge."
She chuckled. "Before Ah knew it, he was in mah saddle, an' we were doin' it. Didn't hurt a bit, though it coulda been the cider helpin' with that. It was his first time, too, so he didn't last long, but at least he got the good sense to pull out in time. Whoo-ee, we made a mess! Took us some time to clean up an' finish the cider, an' then we headed back, right in time too 'cause we met Braeburn's Pa who was lookin' for us. We got a whuppin' for stealin' the cider, but it was worth it."
"So didja do it again?" Pinkie asked, eyes wide and an excited grin on her face. "Didja, huh, didja?"
"Yeah, on the last night of the reunion," Applejack said. "This time he'd gotten some protection, Ah don't know where. Mac must've had some, but Ah can't believe Braeburn would've asked him. Did it twice that night, in fact, an' we were gettin a lot better there." Her tone became wistful as she continued.
"The next year, Ah couldn't make it to the reunion 'cause Ah had to help Mac an' Granny run the farm, an' Braeburn couldn't make it to the one after that... We wrote one another, an' for a while we talked about runnin' off to the Frontier together, but Ah knew deep down Ah couldn't do it. Ah'd tried runnin' away once, an' had come back. But it was different with Braeburn, an' Ah wasn't surprised when Ah learned he'd left the farm. Still, Ah guess Ah always thought that maybe one day Ah was gonna marry him..."
Applejack sighed and drained her whisky, while her friends exchanged looks. This explained a lot about their memorable trip to Appleloosa, especially Applejack's strange hostility towards the buffaloes in general and Little Strongheart in particular!
"I guess I should go next," Rainbow Dash said, leaning back in her chair. "My first time was when I was a freshpony in Flight School. I was dating Dumb-Bell at the time... Oh, right, you guys don't know him," she said, noticing the baffled expressions on the faces of her friends - all except Fluttershy, who was hiding behind her mane. "You saw the dude when you visited Cloudsdale. Brown coat, long primaries, blond mane, and a dumb-bell on his butt," she explained.
A chorus of surprised noises erupted around the table. "Him?" Pinkie Pie said. "But wasn't that guy the mean Meanie McMeanypants who bullied you and poor Fluttershy at the summer flight camp?"
Rainbow looked uncomfortable. "Well... yeah. But when we got little older, he turned out pretty hunky, and kinda cool in a bad colt way. And he learned his lesson and didn't try pushing me or 'Shy around any more... Listen, I was a friggin' idiot when I was younger, okay?"
Everypony, even Pinkie, kept their face studiously neutral as Rainbow Dash looked around the table, as if challenging them to say she hadn't changed that much since her youth. Seeing no grins or nods, she continued her tale.
"So yeah, we dated, and we made out, and got off too. You know," Rainbow said and made a weird gesture with one wing that made Fluttershy turn bright red and sink even lower in her chair, leaving the others confused. "But Dumb-Bell kept asking me to let him do it, and I kept telling him to go stick it inna thundercloud. One night I got sick and tired of it and told him that if he got me off in three minutes first, I'd let him do it. And damn, but he went down and got busy, and damn if he hadn't me coming, ten seconds to spare!" Dash grinned lewdly.
"That's... That's rather quick, isn't it?" Twilight hazarded.
"Pfft, I'm Rainbow Dash! I do everything quick!" the pegasus boasted. Then, noticing Rarity and Applejack smirking at her, and Pinkie holding back her guffaws, she deflated a bit. "Well, not everything, not if I want to take things nice and slow... Aww, guys, you know what I mean!"
Rainbow poured herself a bit of whisky and drank it. "Anyway, deal's a deal, and he'd held up his end, so I hopped on this little cloud, spread my hindlegs and told him to go to town. I got to give it to the dude, though; he took it easy on me that first time. Didn't much enjoy myself anyway, but like I said, deal's a deal."
Twilight exchanged a look with Rarity. This sounded exactly like the kind of a thing that Rainbow Dash, especially a younger, less experienced and even more rash Dash could have done. "Was that the end of it?" Twilight asked.
The pegasus blinked. "Huh? No, we continued dating, and did it again, a lot of times. But I always had him eat me out first, to get me all ready." Her expresion darkened. "It didn't last, though... Now he kept asking me let him do me... you know. There," Rainbow said, swishing her tail and blushing furiously.
"So didja?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking curious.
"No!" Dash said. "I mean, that's just gross! Anyway, he kept asking, and I kept telling him to stick it inna thundercloud again, just like good old days. Heh. Then... Then I overheard some girls in the locker room, talking about... well, that. And one says she'd heard I did it and liked it!"
She scowled and took a drink before continuing. "So I went and hunted Dumb-Bell down, and found him on this little cloud with his buddies, Score and Hoops, just hanging out. I flew right into his face and asked what the buck was he doing, spreading lies about me like that! Of course he denied saying anything, and he was so convincing I almost believed him. Then Score, bless his tiny brain, goes 'So she doesn't let you rut her up her butt?'. The bastard had been bragging about it to his friends!"
"Why, what nerve!" Rarity cried, her eyes blazing with anger. "If I had known what a beastly, uncouth, dishonorable lout he was, why I would've- I would- Well, I'm sure I would have done something when I met him in Cloudsdale! Please tell me you didn't let him get away with it, Rainbow?"
The pegasus laughed. "Nah, I gave him a piece of my mind, and a concussion!" Noticing Twilight's shocked expression, she continued hastily. "Just a minor one, okay? He told the school nurse he'd knocked his head into a cloud support, doing aerobatics with his buddies; I guess he was afraid for his rep as a smooth ladies' man. It was enough to make me quit stallions for years, though. I was already friends with Gilda, but after that, it got... intense."
This was the first time Dash had admitted there had been something more going on between her and the griffon, Twilight noted, briefly wondering about the logistics of it. How do you kiss someone with a beak? And what about-
Mercifully, Applejack interrupted her train of thought. "Shucks. So, 'twas yer first time with a mare with her?" she asked the pegasus, looking curious.
"What, Gilda? Nah," Rainbow said. "That was Snowflake, I met her at the flight camp. I don't think you guys ever saw her, she lives in Baltimare with her fillyfriend now. Gilda... it was different. And intense. And that's all I'm gonna say about that, okay?"
Everypony nodded. It was clear that this was still a touchy issue for Rainbow.
"I think it's your turn next, Pinkie dear," Rarity said after a brief silence. "If you are comfortable with sharing the story of the first, enchanted blossoming of your full marehood with us, of course!"
Pinkie Pie giggled at Rarity's overwrought choice of words. "Sure thing! But I'm sorry, girls, I don't have a story to tell yet! I mean, I've kissed plenty of colts and snuggled and cuddled and canoodled and maybe played a bit with whipped cream and raspberry frosting and maple syrup and cocktail cherries and-"
"Slow down, sugarcube, we get what yer sayin'," Applejack laughed.
"Right! But I've never gone and done the whole thing yet," Pinkie continued, her expression turning very nearly serious for a second. "I'm just nowhere near mature enough to do stuff like that yet. There's commitment and responsibility and kids - omigosh, I can just barely keep up with the Cake twins, and they're not even my foals! So nope, haven't done it yet, but I'm sure going to tell you all when I do!"
"That... that's actually very mature and sensible of you to say, Pinkie," Twilight said into the following silence, partly to dismiss the mental image of her bubbly friend's ‘Popped my Cherry, Yay!’ party, no doubt complete with carnally themed cupcakes, funny-shaped "balloons" and other startling things.
"Indeed," Rarity said. "Although you do know there are ways to not have to worry about foals before you are both ready, don't you darling?" she asked, sounding a bit concerned.
Pinkie nodded. "Yup! Your turn next, Fluttershy!"
The yellow pegasus, who had remained silent ever since Pinkie's doozy, let out a quiet "Eep!"
"Uh, if you're uncomfortable about this, Fluttershy, you don't have to tell us anything," Twilight said hurriedly, seizing the opportunity to turn the discussion into another, safer direction before her turn came up. "We can talk about something else, like... like..." She wracked her brain for something, anything, that would captivate her friends' attention, but in vain.
Fluttershy sat up straighter in her chair and shook her head. "T-thank you, Twilight, but I... I think I should tell you about this. In fact, I want to tell you about this - if you're all okay with it, of course!" she said, the adorable pink blush on her cheeks brightening again.
"So... um... I've been meaning to tell you all that, um, I'm, um... I'malesbian," the pegasus continued, her voice turning almost inaudible.
"Beg yer pardon, 'Shy?" Applejack asked, craning her neck. "Ah didn't get that last part..."
"She said she's a fillyfooler," Rainbow Dash said, grinning broadly. "Way to go, girl! I knew you'd get it out in the open one day!"
Twilight blinked in surprise at the revelation. She had of course known about her other pegasus friend's stable door swinging both ways, and nothing would have surprised her about Pinkie, but she had always assumed that Fluttershy was just as staunchly heterosexual as she was herself. And here I thought she and Big Mac would have made a cute couple... Of course, Macintosh seems to be a lot more successful with ladies than I thought, too...
"Um, yes, what Rainbow said," Fluttershy continued, fiddling with her mane. "I, uh, I've always been a bit afraid of stallions, and the idea of having sex with one... I mean, they're so big and rough and heavy, and the mechanics of it all, with pushing and shoving and thrusting... Mares are so much nicer and softer and cuddlier," she sighed.
"Awww! That's so sweet," Pinkie said. "Was your first time nice and cuddly, Fluttershy?" she asked, smiling cheerfully.
"Um... N-no, not exactly," Fluttershy said, unfolding and folding her wings in some pegasus gesture. "You see, I was, uh, always so shy at flight camp and at school that I never really had an opportunity. So, um, my first time was, um..."
"It was with me, and I don't do 'cuddly'," Rainbow Dash blurted out, making everypony to stare at her in surprise. "What? We're old buddies and it's not like Fluttershy’s my cousin or anything!"
Applejack shifted in her chair, looking like she had something to say, but now it was Rarity's turn to intercede. "Please, Rainbow, this is Fluttershy's story, even if you played a role in it. Do go on, darling," she said, giving Fluttershy a comforting nuzzle.
"Y-yes, thank you Rarity," the pegasus said. "Um, it was right after Rainbow came to Ponyville, a few years ago. I'd been writing to her ever since I had moved out of Cloudsdale, so when she left the Flight School, she came over to see me. We talked about what we had been doing, and about the old times, and had a few drinks, and, um..."
"I asked her if she'd found a fillyfriend yet," Rainbow said, ignoring Rarity's frown. "And 'Shy hemmed and hawed and finally told me she'd never even kissed another mare. So I decided to give her a helping hoof, y'know?"
"Yes, you did," Fluttershy said, giggling suddenly. "It was very startling, but... it was very educational, too. I mean, I had read about it, but, um... It was fun. But, um, not very nice or cuddly!" She reached out to pick up her glass of wine, still nearly full, and downed it all in a single gulp.
"I needed that," she said, not specifying whether she meant the wine or Rainbow Dash's help. "So, uh, that was my first time. No, we've not done it again after that; and yes, I have done it with somepony else, but I'm not telling who," Fluttershy finished, pre-empting the obvious questions.
"Well! I'm impressed that you chose to share this with us, dear, and very happy for you," Rarity said, smiling warmly at her friend. "I have to admit I'm a smidgen curious about who you have been seeing, but I promise not to pry!" The unicorn poured herself a bit more wine and turned to look at Twilight. "Now I believe it's your turn, dear."
Twilight's heart stopped. She had been so caught up with her friends' stories that she hadn't thought of coming up with a plausible lie, and had expected Rarity to take the next turn herself. "Uh... I'm not really comfortable about this," she stammered, trying not to fold her ears back in dismay. "This is a really private thing, and, um, I'm not sure..."
"Please, Twilight, don't worry," Rarity said in her 'good big sister' voice Twilight had often heard her using with Sweetie Belle. "We're all your friends, and none of us is going to judge you for whatever you may have done, or not done; right, girls?"
Twilight frowned, her annoyance winning over her dread. "Why does everypony think I'm a virgin, anyway? Just because I like books and reading and live in a library doesn't mean I can't have had sexual experiences!"
"Of course not," Rarity said in a soothing tone that suggested Twilight her friend didn't believe her for a moment. "But it's perfectly all right to be a virgin at our age; I mean, both Pinkie and I- What's so funny, Applejack?" she asked, her voice suddenly frosty.
The farmpony stifled her laughter. "Ah'm sorry, Rares, but you ain't foolin' me. The rest of the gals, they're not from Ponyville like you an' Ah, an' they don't know you like Ah do." She pushed her cowpony hat back and grinned. "Y'all heard her talkin' 'bout the way Bon-Bon went on afore she figured it out she wanted no stallion in the sack? Well, Bon-Bon ain't got nothin' to Rarity here! Ah remember you goin' out with just 'bout every free unicorn in town who was near yer age, an' more than a few pegasi an' Earth ponies, too. Lands' sakes, girl, Granny caught you in mah big brother's bedroom one mornin'!"
Rarity had been turning steadily redder and redder as Applejack spoke, and the look of barely contained rage on her face made Twilight worry that she might burst a vein. Before the storm could break, however, Pinkie piped up.
"Whoa! I never thought your brother was such a player, Applejack! So, is he really Big Mac where it counts, Rarity? You can tell us, we won't blabber!"
Rarity, her dramatic fit of anger neatly derailed, stammered something incomprehensible before bursting out in helpless laughter.
"Pinkie Pie! A lady does not reveal things like that!" she admonished the pink pony when she finally got her voice back under control. "I'm afraid Applejack is substantially correct, even though she could have put it more delicately; I was rather more ardent and much less discriminating about my companionship, when I was in my teens," she admitted, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "However, I am a virgin, and that's Celestia's honest truth. I've been saving my maidenhood for marriage, you see."
Noticing the disbelieving look on Applejack's face, she sighed. "Good heavens, girl! It's not as if letting a stallion mount you is the be all and end all of sexuality, especially if you're a unicorn!" Rarity's horn glowed briefly as she tweaked Applejack's ear, eliciting a surprised yelp. "I'm sure our pegasus friends here can fill you in on the numerous other interesting options available to an intelligent and resourceful maiden such as myself," she finished, giving the farmpony a sultry wink.
"Uh, no need, Rares. Sorry Ah doubted yer word," Applejack said, rubbing her ear and turning red. "'Sokay, Twi," she continued, looking at the purple unicorn. "You don't have to tell us anything if you don't wanna."
"Yes," Fluttershy said. "We don't want to pry." Even Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were nodding in agreement, giving Twilight understanding smiles.
To her intense surprise, Twilight Sparkle felt disappointed. Here she had been, worrying for hours over having to tell her best friends in the world what she had done, and now, when they miraculously were letting her off the hook, she felt cheated! Maybe I should tell them... It would be cathartic. And... if I could trust them against the Nightmare Moon, when we barely knew one another, surely I can trust them now?
"Thank you, girls. You're the best friends I could ever have," Twilight said. "But... I think this is something I need to tell, to get it off my mind." She drew a deep breath. "I want you to swear that you will never tell anyone else what I'm going to tell you. And I mean that! If this comes out, I’m going to go back to Canterlot, and probably never leave the Royal library again, okay?"
"Wow. You're serious about that," Rainbow Dash said, looking awed and spooked in equal measure. "We won't tell a living soul, Pinkie Promise," she said and began the required series of hoof motions, but Twilight interrupted her.
"You don't have to do that, girls. Just... just keep this between ourselves. And... please don't judge me too harshly." She raised her glass to her lips and emptied it. This is it, Twilight. Your secret shame is coming out.
"You got to understand that I never really had friends before I came to Ponyville and met you," Twilight started.
"When I was younger, there was always my brother, and Cadance, and then Spike of course. But they're not really my friends, they're my family... and Princess Celestia is a huge part of my life and I love her, but she's the Princess and my teacher and mentor. I had classmates at the School for Gifted Unicorns, of course, but I never was really close with any of them, and when I graduated and went to Canterlot University, I didn't have any real friends there, either. Which was a problem, because I had made a checklist of things I should do at the University, and by the start of my third year, there were only a few entries left unchecked. And those were the ones which I needed a friendly stallion to help with."
She blushed, feeling everypony's eyes on her. "What can I say? I like checklists. But yes, it had to be a stallion, I'm not into mares like that. Luckily, there was this one fellow that I met in the library when I was researching lesser-known pre-Classical sorcerers; I'm going to call him Stargazer, it's not his real name but it'll suffice. He was an astronomy major, minoring in History of Magic just like me, and we kind of hit it off right from the start."
Twilight sighed, thinking back to the pleasant nights she'd spent in study with him in her dorm room, or assisting him with his telescopes on some tower roof. "We had several interests in common, he was always a perfect gentlecolt towards me, and he was also really handsome, with a lovely chiseled-looking horn and big eyes and long legs and the kind of a long silky mane you want to bury your face into..." She blushed. "I guess you get the picture."
"Ah think Ah can see where this is goin'," Applejack murmured, a sympathetic look on her face.
"No, you can't, and that's the problem," Twilight said. "The next time we were alone, I brought up the matter with Stargazer. I told him I'd love to go on a date with him, and then follow it up with a night of hot sexual experimentation so I could check 'losing my virginity' off my checklist."
Noticing her friends looks, she winced. "Yeah, I probably could have put it better. Unfortunately, that didn't matter, 'cause Stargazer turned me down very politely. He was a coltcuddler, you see, and though he liked me and thought I was quite cute for a mare, he didn't have any romantic or sexual interest in me. At all."
"Oh, darling," Rarity said, placing a comforting hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "I know how much that kind of a thing can hurt, but-"
"Well, I was a bit hurt! The only stallion at the whole university who was more than just a classmate or an occasional study buddy to me, and of course he had to be gay!" Twilight said. "But the real problem was what I did next. I liked Stargazer! I didn't want to have to waste time finding another stallion I could like and who'd like me back. So I turned to magic for solution."
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to speak, but Twilight was faster. "Yes, Pinkie, I think you got it. As the personal student of Princess Celestia, I had access to a lot of old spellbooks in the restricted collection of the University library, and that's where I found it. The Want-It, Need-It spell."
"No way!" Rainbow said. "That's the spell you put on that old doll when you were freaking out over your letters to the Princess, and drove half of Ponyville nuts?"
"Yes," Twilight sighed. "It's a restricted spell, and for a good reason. There are some legitimate uses for it, mostly in mental therapy, but the potential for misuse is huge. That's why it's illegal for most unicorns to even know, let alone cast. The only books with the full formula are kept in the forbidden section of the Royal Archives that even I couldn't access without asking the Princess for a permission, but I managed to reverse-engineer the enchantment from the bits and pieces of information I could find. Applejack, could you pour me a shot of that whisky? I think I need it."
She downed the golden-brown liquor, ignoring the way it burned in her throat, and continued. "I went to see Stargazer again, and told him that I had found a spell that would solve our problem by making him want me, even though I was a mare. He was dubious, but I convinced him that it would work, and he decided to let me try it. So, I cast the spell on myself."
Twilight looked wistful. "It worked wonderfully. He wanted me; he needed me! That night was everything I had hoped for - no, scratch that, it was way better than I had hoped for. It was... magical. Enchanted. Wondrous. Special. Eventually, the spell wore off, of course. Now that I'd done it, I was a bit concerned about any possible lingering effects, but Stargazer seemed no worse for the experience, and when I asked if he would be willing to do it again some other time, he agreed."
"Oh, Twilight..." Rarity said, a look of heartbreaking sympathy on her face. "You didn't."
"I did," Twilight said. "Several times. And it was just as good. It was perfect! I had a nice stallion I could look at stars with, or talk about the development of animation spells, or just hang out at the library... and all it took was one spell to make me feel like the sexiest, most desirable mare who's ever lived. I can see how awfully unhealthy and unethical it was, now. But that's not the worst part," she continued.
"Ah ain't sure Ah wanna hear this," Applejack said, looking uncomfortable.
Twilight shook her head. "I'm not sure I want to tell it, but I have to do it. One evening, Stargazer asked me to teach the Want-It, Need-It spell to him. Because, you see, he had the same problem that I had! He had a male friend he had a huge crush on, a pegasus playing hoofball in the university team; let's call him-"
"Jet Stream, right?" Rainbow Dash interrupted. Twilight's stunned expression told her that she'd guessed correctly. "C'mon, Twi, you said it was in your third year at Canterlot U., and there was only one pegasus playing hoofball for them in '98, and that's Jet Stream. No wonder your buddy Stargazer wasn't getting anywhere with him, the guy's the biggest cirrus-chaser in the big leagues and that's saying something. Get it? Cirrus clouds, as in mares' tails? Bah, you guys just can't appreciate good pegasus jokes."
"Uh-huh," Twilight said. "Well, I was maybe falling in love with Stargazer a bit, and maybe I was just arrogant and naive and thought that since it had worked with us two, nothing could go wrong. So I taught him the spell. It's really not that complicated to cast once you know it; that's why the Princess keeps the formula secret. And, well... then everything did go wrong."
She looked at the table and sighed. "Turns out Stargazer didn't tell his friend what kind of a spell he was casting. Maybe he thought it would be easier to ask for absolution than for permission, or maybe he genuinely believed that Jet Stream would return his feelings if he just tried sleeping with him. I like to think it was the latter. In any case, when the spell wore out, Jet Stream freaked out. Violently. I found out about it when a couple of Royal Guards showed up outside my dorm room, saying that Princess Celestia demanded to see me very urgently."
She swallowed. "The Princess held a secret Sun Chamber session over the incident. Stargazer was banished from Canterlot for ten years, and sent into exile to some little out-of-way observatory up north in the Crystal Mountains, with an all-female staff I hear. Jet Stream wasn't punished for assaulting Stargazer, but the Princess had him attend therapy for any anger issues and sexual hang-ups which might have resulted."
"And as for myself... Princess Celestia was very, very disappointed. I think it would have been easier to take if she had been just mad at me. She told me that she couldn't have a student who would abuse her magic in that way, and gave me one month to convince her that I could be trusted with the power I had." Twilight blinked back her tears and forged ahead.
"It was the worst month of my life. I read everything I could find about the ethics of magic. I pestered the professors of philosophy. I wrote essay after essay on the use and misuse of every spell I knew, and the ethical ramifications thereof. I couldn't even tell Spike why I was suddenly so interested in this stuff! And when the month was up, and I presented the Princess with everything I'd learned, she read it all and gave me this look, and asked me if I had anything else to say, some final insight that I hadn't included in my writings. And... all I could say was that I was sorry, and I'd understand if she didn't want me as her student any more."
"That was exactly what the Princess had wanted to hear, of course. She forgave me and told me she'd be happy to continue teaching me, and then I had a good cry against her shoulder. And I hoped that everything would go back the way it was before, and it almost did. But it didn't, not exactly, because... because you can only lose your innocence once, and you can never get it back..."
Her voice broke, and there was a moment of silence. Then, one by one, Twilight's friends got up and walked over to her, giving the sniffling unicorn a group hug. "T-thanks, girls... You're better friends than I deserve," she said, fighting back the tears.
"Shush, sugarcube," Applejack said and nuzzled Twilight's neck. "Everypony makes mistakes. The real important thing's whether they'll learn anything from those, an' Ah know you learned yer lesson."
Twilight nodded, wordless. The six friends remained there for what felt like a very long time, letting the unicorn calm down. Finally, as they all returned to their seats, she spoke again. "And that was it, the sum total of my sex life. I haven't even kissed a stallion ever since. I felt that it would be, you know, safer this way. Less of a distraction and less of a risk of either of us doing something foolish or bad."
"Aww!" Pinkie Pie said. "But you don't feel like that any more, do you Twilight? Cause if you do, you're being silly and wrong! You're a lot better pony than that!"
"Pinkie is right, dear," Rarity said. "You're a wonderful pony and a great friend, and I'm certain you would be an amazing fillyfriend for the right, lucky stallion. You can't let a single mistake, no matter how bad it was, to ruin the rest of your life. You deserve better!"
"So, you got any dudes in mind you'd like to put the moves on, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, leaning over the table with an eager look on her face. "C'mon, you can tell us! We'll help you if you're still worried!"
Twilight swallowed and looked at her friends. Applejack, honest and dependable. Pinkie, always ready to make you laugh. Rainbow Dash, the most loyal wingmare you would wish for. Fluttershy, always kind and gentle. And Rarity, vivacious, generous and ready to help.
"Well..." she said, blushing. "There is this certain stallion I've been thinking about a lot..." she began.
