Kanji Tatsumi: Equestrian Bad Ass

Kanji blushed deeply as he took a bite of his sandwhich. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it damn it! What the hell? What the hell do you even do on a date?

The screen freezes. “WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! HOLD UP!” The pink, hyper active mass known as Pinkie Pie worms her way through my computer screen. “What do you think you're doing you silly willy! You're skipp- hey I'm not done yet!”

“NO TIME PINKIE! JUST OVER A MONTH LEFT!” I scream as I push with all my might. After a solid minute of trying to push the pink pony into the dimension from whence she came, I turn back to the keyboard.

“All right time to get back to work.” I mutter under my breath.

Que screen unfreeze.

Panic. That's what is coursing through the teenagers entire being. He had never been on a date before. And there she was. Directly across from him sat the ma-...woman of his dreams and all she was doing was staring at him with a vacant expression! This was a disaster! This date was going so horribly wrong!

“Kanji...” Naoto began in her usual calculated tone.

The detective gave a small smirk as the teen sat upright to attention. “If I really were a man...you really would have motor boated my balls wouldn't you have?”

The bits of sandwhich in the youths mouth spewed at the speed of sound. “W-w-w-whaa-” Kanji could not find words as his face turned scarlet and spaghetti seemed to fall out of his pockets from seemingly no where. (Yea, I did make that reference to those of you who get it >:) )

Naoto leaned back into her chair as a fit of laughter over took her, “Oh relax and lighten up Kanji. I'm trying to loosen up the tense atmosphere.”

The detective visibly squirmed in her seat as a blush of her own turned her cheeks crimson. “To be honest...I've never done this sort of thing either. And Pinkie Pie told me to make jokes to lighten to mood and overall awkwardness. W...was the joke funny?”

Kanji smiled despite himself, “Funny? Shit was hilarious!” Naoto put her hand up to her lips to try and stifle her laughter, yet neither teenager could stop the avalanche of laughter that came soon after.

Today was going to be a great day. Kanji could already tell.

…

“ALRIGHT! Are you girls ready?” Rise practically screamed in excitement. “Oh buck yeah! I can't wait to see the look on Kanjis face!” Rainbow Dash hopped up into the air excitedly.

“I know right. But that Yosuke...he's a little cute.” Vinyl smirked. “And I can't wait to see Teddie again! He's so...beary... hehe... punny.” Pinkie Pie giggled as she popped out of Scratch's mane.

“Only you could enjoy those terrible puns Pinkie.” Octavia said simply as she took another sip of her mouthwatering tea.

“Speaking of which...Octavia...why are you here? And that goes for you other three too.” Twilight asked as she waved her hoof over Lyra, Vinyl and Ditzy.

“Boredom.” Lyra replied.

“I have no idea!” Ditzy exclaimed.

“To mess with Kanji bro! Duh! And 'Tavi is here because she owes me a favor.” Vinyl grinned as she reared back onto her hind legs.

To this, Octavia simply rolled her eyes and sipped her tea like the sophisticated lady that she was.

“Alright! Twilight are you ready with the spell? Rarity should be bringing Teddie and Yosuke back soon right? And Fluttershy went to nab Kanji and Naoto from their date?”

“Yes, yes and yes!” Twilight giggled.

“Oh I'm so excited! I haven't done a spell like this before!” The lavender mare just about had her own nerdgasm right there.

“Alright everyone! Get ready!” The idol excitedly giggled.

…

“Hey you two! How'd your 'date' go?” Yosuke greeted his two  friends with his signature smirk and wink.

“I hope it went, dare I say it, beary well for you Kanji.” Teddie said excitedly as he wriggled about outside his costume.

Rarity rolled her eyes and proffered her mane, “Do ignore the insufferable Yosuke my dear Kanji! I for one, know that your date had to have gone swimmingly for such a dashing and handsome young man.”

Kanji blushed scarlet and scratched the back of his head while Naoto smirked. “We best get over to the Golden Oaks library. Twilight hates it when people are late.” The detective calmly injected into the conversation.

Everyone nodded in affirmation...but Flutteshy hovered over to Yosuke and gave him such a stink eye that the human nearly pissed himself.

…

“Although I do have to admit. I think Vinyl would be a pretty hot human chick.” Yosuke said as they walked up to the tree library.

“Wait a minute...Twilight Sparkle...the purple unicorn....lives in a library...that's in a freaking tree.” Yosuke struggled to contain the mirthful laughter within his gut but failed horribly.

“Oh man that's so ironic it's freaking hilarious.” Yosuke managed to wheeze out in between bouts of laughter.

“Are you done yet Yosuke?” Fluttershy nearly growled. The look the butter pegasus was giving the human made every laugh he had die in his threat and instead he meekly nodded. Teddie eagerly knocked on the door which soon became engulfed in a lavender aura. When the door opened wide and the group stepped inside...

All three human males had their noses combust in sudden bouts of extreme nose bleed.

“Kanji-kun.” The breathy whisper from Applejack seemed liked it was shouted amongst the silence of the library.

“Yosuke...kun.” The hearty, lust filled moan from Vinyl made said human drop to his knees as his eyes eagerly drank in the sight before him.

“Teddie-kun.” The high pitched giggle of Pinkie Pie managed to still sound erotic despite the tone as said shadow turned human fell to his hands and knees in reverence to the sight before him.

Naoto was completely speechless, but no words were needed considering her entire face was tomato red.

And at this point you probably have already figured out what happened, so I'll just go on ahead and describe exactly what's going on.

On the floor, directly in front of the door and a mere ten feet away was a stark naked, human-except-for-the-horn-on-her-head-Twilight Sparkle on her back, her face upside down as she looked at the group, her face a deep crimson. Directly on top of her and chest to chest, average sized breasts to meaty monsters, was none other than a human Pinkie Pie. Her signature pink, poofy mane was exactly the same and she stared at Teddie with laughter filled eyes and her index finger just barely in her mouth, a slight smile to her lips.

Right next to them, Vinyl Scratch sat on her ass, her rotund and god like ass with her chest pressed up to Octavias with an ear to ear smirk plastered on her face as she blew a kiss to Yosuke. Octavia herself was blushing deeply and looking anywhere but the three human males who were struggling to stay alive from all of this 'excitement'.

On the other side of Twilight was a very confused looking human Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who sat identical to Octavia and Scratch. The athlete had almost no chest to press against the sizable cushions of the applefarmer, but the way those leg muscles rippled and that wiry body...the boys could barely do anything more than 'Hnnnnnng'. The athlete herself had her wings nervously flap every  now and then but otherwise refused to meet the gaze of anyone.

Applejacks body, in comparison to the athletic build of Rainbow Dash, was compact with muscle, not enough to drive a man off, but enough to make one realize that she could do....stuff. The apple farmer looked all three human men straight in the eyes, a furious blush to her face.

And actually standing directly behind the librarian and cook, was none other than Ditzy Doo and Lyra. The former held a hand to her face as she hid her blush, making it obvious that she wasn't as clueless as people made her out  to be. Like both pairs on either side, this duo was pressed chest to chest, both women having a pretty average bust...but them asses...just jutting out there and making ass men drool.

All of these ponies turned gorgeous women...were arranged in such an expert way that no man could see anything...yet they could see everything. “Also, it covers up our lady, naughty bits so that the story can keep it's teen rating! Hooray!” Pinkie yelled out of the blue before sitting up and pumping her arms in the air.

“PINKIE! WHAT ON EARTH ON YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!” Twilight screamed as her friend threw away their only cover, revealing everything about the pair. What happened next was chaos as all six females abandoned their poses in their confusion. And all at once, there were six, very naked, very hot chicks walking/bouncing  about in confusion.

Rarity practically jammed her hooves into Yosukes eyes,  “HEY STOP IT! I NEED TO SEE MORE!!” Yoskue yelled as he tried to push her hooves out of the way, only for her magic to stop him.

Fluttershy wrapped her forelegs over Teddies eyes, and while he groaned, he allowed the motion.

Kanji could only blink in sexy time deluded confusion as Naoto herself, reached up from behind the human and cupped her hands over his eyes.

“RISE! KUJIKAWA!” Fluttershy roared at the top of her lungs. Causing all six human/pony women to freeze and look at her in sheer terror.

The human teenager in question slowly descended the stairs from her perch, a visible cold sweat forming upon her face. “H-h-hey Fluttershy! H-h-how's it going? Hehe.”

“DON'T YOU FLUTTERSHY ME! GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!” Fluttershy roared.

With a squeak, (god damn it's like they swapped places or something) Rise hopped down the rest of the steps and zipped across the floor to stop directly in front of the pegasus who hovered in mid air to keep her forehooves covering Teddies eyes.

The pegasus simply glared at her human captive, who seemed to shrink and shrink and shrink some more. After a dead silent, one minute stare down where Rise tried desperately to avoid that piercing gaze of the pegasus, the human finally broke. “I'mverysorryI'llgogettheoutfitsIputtogetherforthehumanponiessothatwecangoplaytheKingGame.” And with that single breath the teen idol scurried off like a mouse.

“Wait. Did she say...Kings Game?” Kanji asked nervously.

….

“ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTS! ARE YOU FOLKS READY FOR THE KINGS GAME!!?!?!” Rise shouted out in excitement.

Naoto slapped the palm of her hand into her face, “Why did you gather us together for such a childish game again?”

“Because! No one here in Equestria has even heard of it! So I'm going to fix that!” Rises pouted in defiance at the detective.

“Since we're playing this 'Kings Game'...don't you think we should know the rules?” Twilight, who was still in a human form yet no longer naked, asked aloud.

“It's rather easy Twilight. Chopsticks get handed around. Each chopstick has a number and one chopstick has a red line. The person who draws the red line is the 'King', or queen. The King then barks out an order to a random number and whoever has that numbered chopstick has to follow that order. Also, the orders have to be more extreme than the last. Any questions?” Naoto explained quickly to the unicorn. Surprisingly, no one had a single question.

“Well, since Rise is gonna make us do this no matter. We may as well get started! Am I right?” Yosukue cocked a grin at the group of friends.

And every one and every pony nodded in affirmation.

…

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH! I'M THE KING BABY WOOO HOOOO!” Teddie roared at the top his lungs as he stood up, his hand holding aloft in the air a chopstick with a small red line.

“WOOOO ALRIGHT TEDDSTER! WHAT'S IT GONNA BE BE!!!” Pinkie Pie cheered as he jumped up, her breasts bouncing about in the too small tee shirt she wore as if this was some kind of dead or alive game.

“THE KING DEMANDS THAT NUMBER....SEVEN GIVES ME A SMOOCH RIGHT ON THE LIPS!” Teddie shouted with a mischievous grin.

“GOD DAMNIT! AGAIN!?!? REALLY?!?!?” Kanji roared as he stood up slamming a fist into the table. The whole group went deathly silent at the show of rage.

The human sighed, “I get eliminated from the game if I don't do it right?” Kanji asked nobody in particular.

“Well that's what the rules say.” Rise piped up nervously.

With a  grunt Kanji stepped up to Teddie and grabbed the former shadow by the scruff of his shirt. With a gasp from the audience, the youth pulled Teddie to himself and mashed his lips to the odd guy.

Everyone in the room let out a collective gasp, at the sudden...kiss. After a couple seconds of man on man lip lock Kanji threw Teddie back onto the couch that Twilight had conjured up in the room before turning around and plopping directly back into his beside Naoto.

“Karma better reward me good for doing that shit.” Kanji muttered.

“DAYUM! KANJI BRO THAT WAS HOT AS BUCK!” Vinyl shouted she giggled. “I'm totally gonna remember this shit when I'm bating later tonight.”

“Scratch! That was way too much information! And disgusting!” Octavia complained hotly from her spot beside the Dj.

Pinkie Pie, Teddie and Lyra all erupted into a roar of laughter.

“Alright! Settle down kiddies! So whose the king this time?” Rise asked aloud.

Vinyl shot up from her seat, “AW HELL YEAH BABY! ITS ME!!!”

Vinyls eyes slid over each and every person in the room, before a wicked grin spread across her lips. The Dj held a single finger to lips and whispered, “Number three....go make out...with Kanji.”

Kanjis jaw dropped down to the floor. “What the hell Vinyl!!?!?! I thought we were bros!!!!”

“Relax Kanji baby! There's like, nine hot chicks in this room and only two other dudes. Odds are rather high that you'll be making out with a gorgeous hot chick rather one of the two other dudes.” Vinyl replied coolly.

“Awww gosh darnit Scratch! Ah like Kanji an' all, but I don't wanna make out with the guy.” Applejack groaned as she slammed the palm of her hand into her face.

“WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE I'M THE KING BABY!” Vinyl laughed.

The apple farmer sighed and pulled her stetson just a little bit lower over her eyes and stood up. The apple farmer trekked over to the human and leaned in. “Aj...you don't have to do this if you don't wan- * gulp *” Applejacks lips mashed into Kanji's cutting off the rest of his sentence.

Even though it wasn't Naoto, ( and thankfully, not Teddie again) Kanjis head still went into a euphoric bliss as the feeling of those warm lips and Applejack was now sitting on Kanji's lap as she did her dare, all Kanji could do was “Hnnnnnnnnnnng”.

After about ten seconds or so, the Applefarmer back off, a blush on her face as she refused to meet the youths gaze. She walked quickly back to her spot, refusing to look anyone in the eyes. All was silent. You would have thought that someone died since it was so quie- “WOOOOOOOO APPLEJCAK!! DAYUM GIRL! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD SMACK LIPS LIKE THAT!!” Vinyl cooed with an overenthusiastic shout.

“Enough Vinyl! Stop pestering her. Besides...I drew the stick that makes me king!” Octavia said haughtily. The Dj merely pouted at the other musician who simply grew a devious grin of her own. “I've had enough of childish kissing games. We will...how does on say it... 'up the ante'. Number...nine... carry Vinyl around upon your back.”

Vinyl erupted into laughter, “You just said you were tired of childish games and now your having some one give me a pigg-”

“While she is wearing naught but her undergarments.”

That shut the Dj up...sort of. She was still snickering as she dropped her  shorts and hastily removed her shirt, revealing the lacey undergarments she wore beneath.

Yosukue gave off a mad blush...”I'm...number nine.”

Vinyl gasped and her blood red eyes opened in shock. “OH SWEET CELESTIA, BASED LORDESS AND SAVIOR!!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RIDE UPON THE BACK OF SUCH A PIECE OF GLORIOUS STALLION.” The Dj gave a literal running start, and jumped at Yosukue.

The teen barely managed to catch  her in time. “Uhmmm... Vinyl...you're supposed to be on my ba-” The teens eyes flew open as Vinyl mashed her lips to his. After a few seconds of shocked silence she pulled out of the kiss. “Shut up baby and carry me.”

Yosuke had a blush that now covered his entire face as he lumbered around with a very much full grown, woman Vinyl scratch dangling in his arms as she cooed praise up at him.

The very moment that Yosukue set the woman down, “Disqualified! Octavia wanted Vinyl to get a piggy back ride, not be carried around.” Rise called out.

Vinyl placed the back of her hand onto her forehead, “Oh no! Whatever shall I do? I guess, I'll just...cuddle with Yosukue.” And with that, the Dj grabbed Yosukue and flung him over to her spot on the couch.

“Okay...who is the kin-”

“Number six, sit in Kanjis lap and snuggle, or maybe cuddle, with him until the next time either of you are called out during this game.” Fluttershy called out, holding aloft her chopstick in a single hoof as her gaze bore down upon Naoto and Kanji.

Kanji blinked in confusion while Naoto was flushed like a tomato. That;s when Naoto started to climb into Kanji's lap, with very slow and very deliberate movements. Kanji was stunned, speechless and frozen in place all at the same time.

He could feel the petite detective plop into place on his lap. He could feel the warmth of her body through his clothing and by god...did it feel nice. It felt...right. And that's when Naoto placed the side of her cheek to Kanji's chest.

Bliss.

To be continued...