Mayhem and Shinning Armor's Magical Drunken Adventure
Mayhem and Shining Armors Magical Drunken Adventure
Part I: A Few Drinks Gone Wrong
Shining Armor entered the booming pub after a long day of work. It had been a boring day and now he just wanted to relax. He saw his best friend, Prince Mayhem, sitting at the bar waiting for him. He walked on over and took a seat next to his friend.
"Long day then?" asked Mayhem.
"You have no idea," said Shining Armor.
"That bad huh?" asked Mayhem.
"Not bad, just boring as hell," said Shining Armor, "How 'bout yourself?"
"Meh...work was as it normally is. Can't compare it to what you do though. Sure glad I don't have to do Celestia's job," said Mayhem.
"I here ya there, Cadence has always said the same thing," said Shining Armor.
"Well a couple of drinks should take care of that," said Mayhem.
Mayhem turned to the bartended and ordered them two Apple Slammers. The drink was essentially a half mix of beer and hard apple cider plus a shot of Applejack Daniel's Whiskey. The bartender brought them two mugs and they toasted and drank from them slowly.
"So how goes thing with the wife?" asked Mayhem.
"Pretty good pretty good. I wish we could spend more time together but my schedule doesn't really allow for that. She wants to have a baby," said Shining Armor.
Mayhem put his mug down. "Really, she wants a baby already?" said Mayhem.
Shining Armor nodded. "Yep, but I said we should talk it over first. She wasn't happy when I said that," said Shining Armor, "So when are you and Rainbow Dash going to tie the knot?"
"Not really sure. I think she's waiting for me to ask but I'm not sure if it's the right time yet. I mean I know it's been year but I'm just not sure," said Mayhem.
They finished their drinks and then Mayhem ordered them another round. The bartender that brought them their drinks was not one they were familiar with. Mayhem felt that he knew her but decided that he had no idea who she was.
"Drink up boys," she said as she set the drinks in front of them.
They looked at each other and shrugged as they took a drink from their mugs.
"Cadence would kill me if she found out this was what I was doing. I had to tell a lie to get out of some event she wanted me to go to," said Shining Armor.
"Nice, married for just over a year and you're already using the old lie so you can come to the bar and drink technique. Honestly I did the same thing to Rainbow Dash. Told her that I had to meet with Luna to take care of something important, and she didn't even ask what it was," said Mayhem.
"Yeah, I mean what wrong with two friends getting together for a drink once in a while?" asked Shining Armor.
"Exactly, I mean it really sucks that we have to lie to our loves ones just so we can hang out. I mean we've been friends for sixteen years," said Mayhem.
They finished their drinks and then decided they should probably pay and leave, but the same unknown bartender brought them two more mugs.
"No two is really good enough," said Mayhem.
"It's on the house boys. Sit back down and drink up," she told them.
They normally only had two drinks when they got together, but if it was on the house.
"I guess one more drink could hurt," said Shining Armor.
"Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?" said Mayhem.
Three drinks slowly over the next few hours turned into six drinks. They were both drunk by the time they left the bar. They walked around Canterlot wobbling as they tried hard to look sober.
"Maybe we should...go...go crash at your place," said Mayhem with a slur.
"I say we keep the party, *burp*, going," said Shining Armor, "Your still know where the keys to the private cellar at the castle are?"
"The hell I do, unless Celestia changed the locks again," said Mayhem.
They slowly made their way to the castle. The guards did not bother them at all; most of them had seen Mayhem and Shining Armor stumble around the castle drunk. Those that hadn't had been told not to hinder them. Making sure that neither Celestia nor Luna saw them they made their way to the private cellar. It had turned out that Celestia had hidden the keys but Mayhem just blaster the door off its hinges with magic. They made their way over to where the hard liquor was kept and drank away.
"You know what man," said Mayhem.
"Waa...what man?" asked Shining Armor.
"We...we should take this party on the road man. Been a long...a long...a long time since...Ponyville has never got to experience a...Canterlot hasn't seen activity from the President and his Right Hand Man," said Mayhem.
"I...I see what your...saying. Grab some stuff and let's go," said Shining Armor.
They grabbed a dozen bottles of whiskey and they made their way to were Luna kept her private chariot. They didn't even try to steal it; they just walked up to it and the guard watching it.
"We...we are commandeering this chariot," said Shining Armor.
The guard must have been new because he acted quite serious.
"I'm sorry sir, but Princess Luna said nobody is to touch her chariot," said the guard.
Mayhem stumbled forward. "You know who I am...I'm the mother...damn prince," said Mayhem.
"Yes sire I realize that, and Princess Luna said specifically not to let you use it, especially after last time," said the guard, "Now if you don't leave I'm going to notify the princess."
The guard took a single step and then froze in place. Mayhem put an immobility spell on him.
"It's time to take this party on the road," said Mayhem.
They got onto the chariot.
"Wait, we don't have anybody to pull this thing," said Shining Armor.
"Why the hell would we need that...we can use magic," said Mayhem.
The chariot took off into the air and into the sky and headed towards Ponyville. The citizens of the small town were about to get a surprise, a very drunken surprise.
Part II: The President and his Right Hand Man are at it again
Many of the citizens of Ponyville woke up to a ridiculously loud and annoying noise. Even Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo heard it up in their cloud house. The citizens all made their way to the center of town, were the noise seemed to be coming from. Annabell, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash all managed to run into each other.
"What is going on?" asked Twilight.
"No idea," said Annabell and Rainbow Dash.
The pushed through the crowd and couldn't believe what they saw.
"Good evening Ponyville. May I present the President and his Right Hand Man," said Shining Armor.
There were both standing on Luna's chariot, which was floating about a foot off the ground. Mayhem was playing an electric guitar and drinking a bottle of whiskey while Shinning Armor swayed around.
"Oh my god," said Twilight.
"They are drunk off their asses," said Rainbow Dash.
Scootaloo and Midnight were both standing with their mouths wide open. Annabell stepped in front of them so they couldn't see what was going on.
"Mayhem, what are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash.
Mayhem stopped playing his guitar and looked at Rainbow Dash.
"Dashie, my sweet and beautiful girl, why don't you come here and give me some sweet love," said Mayhem.
He took a step and fell off the chariot. Rainbow Dash backed away from him.
"Why are you drunk, you said you were doing something with Luna," said Rainbow Dash.
Mayhem got back up on the chariot.
"Shining Armor, what do you think you're doing?" asked Twilight.
"Oh Twili hi, when...when did you get here?" asked Shining Armor.
The three girls were lost for words. Mayhem and Shining Armor were so drunk they didn't even know what was going on. None of the three girls knew what was going on either.
Shining Armor finished the last bottle of drink. "Mayhem we're out of the sauce," said Shining Armor.
"Well...well we gotta get more...let's...let's go to my place. I just wish we didn't have to walk," said Mayhem.
They both took a step forward and then fell on their faces. Some of Ponyville's police officers busted through the crowd.
"Alright what's going on," said one of the officers.
"Yeah officer we have a problem. All these people are in my house," said Mayhem.
The officer's looked at each other.
"Umm Prince Mayhem, you're in the middle of Ponyville. Have you and the captain of the guard been drinking tonight?" asked the officer.
"No no...wait were in Ponyville? Shinning Armor, we're in Ponyville. Hey look it's you sister man," said Mayhem.
"Oh yeah your right, hey Twili. Wait when did we arrive in Ponyville?" asked Shining Armor.
Everyone was staring at them.
"Okay I think you both should come with us," said the officer.
Mayhem and Shining Armor jumped back up on the chariot and they flew above the crowd. Mayhem graved his guitar and started playing again. The sound he was making was hideous.
"We gotta take this party back to Canterlot," said Mayhem.
The chariot took off back towards Canterlot.
Part III: We Need More Booze
Mayhem and Shinning armor searched all around Canterlot for somewhere to by more booze.
"We need more booze man," said Shining Armor.
Either the stores were closed or they wouldn't sell them anything.
"Dude we are gonna lose our buzz. We need more booze," said Shinning Armor.
"I know man but every store is closed," said Mayhem.
They stumbled around the city looking for more booze.
"He wait don't you have booze at your place?" asked Mayhem.
"Yeah man...yeah man...but wait Cadence might catch us," said Shinning Armor
"Yeah...yeah...maybe...but our buzz man...but wait wouldn't...we need booze man. Let's go to the castle," said Mayhem.
They made their way to the castle and to Mayhem's room. They broke into his private stash hidden in his closet. Within the hour they were so drunk they started puking all over Mayhem's room and breaking his stuff. Mayhem locked the door and put a triple lock spell that only he knew how to break, so nobody would be able to bother them.
"You know man I just don't know what I'm gonna do. Cadence wants a baby but I just don't know if I'd be a good father man," said Shinning Armor.
"Naw man don't say that, I know that you'd be a great father man. I tell you if Dashie ever wanted a kid I'd totally be down with it man," said Mayhem.
"Yeah man, but you gotta marry her first," said Shinning Armor.
"No don't say that, marriage scares me man. I wanna marry Dashie, but at the same time I'm scared of what would happen. What if she said no," said Mayhem.
"No man don't say that man she'd say yes I know it," said Shinning Armor.
"I love you man, you are like my best friend ever man," said Mayhem.
They clinked their bottles together and then continued to drink.
There was banging on the door.
"Prince Mayhem are you and Captain Shinning Armor okay?" asked one of the guards.
"Yeah...yeah...yeah we're okay," said Mayhem.
"Should we get the Princess Celestia?" asked the guard.
"No no no that's alright," said Mayhem.
They grabbed the last two bottles and each look one.
"To our friendship man," said Mayhem.
The cheered and then before they even drank an ounce then both fell onto the floor and passed out.
Part IV: What Happened Last Night
A blinding light engulfed Mayhem's room at the castle as the door was blasted open and the curtains were all pulled open.
"Oh hell shut the damn door whoever just opened it," said Mayhem.
His vision was all blurry but when it came into focus he saw who was standing in the door way. Celestia, Luna, Annabell, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Cadence, and Shining Armor's parents.
"Oh crap, Shining Armor wake up man. We are totally screwed," said Mayhem.
Mayhem looked around the room, and it was a giant mess. Empty bottles everywhere, two of his chairs were broken, the couch was tipped over, and there was plenty of vomit on the ground.
Shining Armor woke up and saw who was standing in the door. He looked around. "What the hell happened last night?" asked Shining Armor.
"I think we'd like to know the same thing young man," said his mother.
Celestia threw a paper at Mayhem and it hit him in the face.
"Read it aloud," said Celestia with a very angry tone in her voice.
Mayhem gulped and read. "Our top story today, Royal Prince of Canterlot and Captain of the Royal Guard go on a drunken rave throughout Canterlot and Ponyville. Both terrorized citizens while consuming their weight in liquor. No damage has been reported yet," said Mayhem.
Mayhem put the paper down, they really were boned.
"How could you to be so stupid?" asked Cadence.
"Did you both every consider that you sister's saw you like this last?" asked Shining Armor's Mother.
"You also stole my chariot, I'm just glad you didn't break it this time," said Luna.
"My sister saw you like that last night Mayhem. She wanted to know why you were acting so funny and I had to tell her that you were drunk out of your mind," said Rainbow Dash.
"I had to tell Midnight the same thing Mayhem," said Annabell.
"The shear amount of disappointment I have in both of you is astronomical," said Celestia.
Mayhem and Shining Armor didn't say a word at all.
"We've called in a doctor to make sure you two have permanently damaged yourself after last night. You'll receive punishment after that," said Celestia.
Mayhem and Shining Armor looked at each other, how did two drinks turn into what happened last night. They were moved out into the dining hall. They both sat in chair and threw up into buckets. The doctor arrived just a few minutes later.
"So, do we know exactly how much they drank last night?" she asked Celestia.
Celestia had two guards bring in a giant bag and dump it on the floor. It was filled with empty bottles. The doctor looked at it and almost fell over with shock.
"That's how much they had, I'm surprised they aren't dead," she said.
The doctor used magic and then went over both Mayhem and Shining Armor with a fined tooth comb. She kept going back and forth between the two of them.
"Well I would not blame either of them for what happened last night," she finally said.
Everyone in the room was flabbergasted.
"What do you mean?" asked Celestia.
"It's very simple; they had no control over what happened. They were drugged by the looks of it. It's a drug I've seen before. It protects the liver and other organs from excessive amounts of alcohol, and at the same time tells the brain that it wants to drink more. I've seen this two other times. Side effects are not dangerous. These two will just be sick for a week at most as their systems clean themselves up," said the doctor.
The doctor finished with them and then left, leaving everyone feeling bad about yelling at them.
Rainbow Dash walked forward and gave Mayhem a kiss, Cadence did the same with Shining Armor.
"I'm sorry for being angry," said Rainbow Dash, "I think we all are."
Everyone else nodded.
"But what I want to know if how you managed to get drugged?" asked Celestia.
"Well, we went to the bar we normally go to for just a few drinks. There was a bartender we didn't recognize. She gave us drink on the house, probably could have been her," said Mayhem.
Celestia addressed one of the guards. "Go down to that bar and find that bartender. Bring her here," she told the guard.
"Yes Princess," he said as he saluted.
The guard, along with a few others, was back an hour later with the bartender from last night. "The owner gave us her home address. She tried to run when she saw us coming," said the guard.
Celestia thanked the guards and the put the girl in one place with a blast of magic. "You will answer some questions and then you will get punishment for your crimes. Last night you drugged the prince and the captain. Why did you do this?" asked Celestia.
The girl struggled against the magical bonds, but she wasn't going anywhere. "Well I'm surprised it worked so well. I guess Mayhem forgot about me like he did every other girl he dated," said the girl.
Mayhem looked up from the bucket he was puking into. "Wait hold on a second. Clarity that isn't you is it?" he asked.
"Oh now he remembers," said Clarity, "You got what you deserve anyway, shame. Getting Shining Armor was just a bonus."
"Clarity I still don't understand why. We had a good relationship until you started to get clingy," said Mayhem, "You can't seriously tell me you're still mad anyway. It was ages ago."
"Of course I'm mad, you broke my heart. I loved you so much and you just left me," said Clarity.
Clarity then began to break down and cry. Mayhem kind of felt bad for her.
"Celestia let her go," said Mayhem.
"Mayhem I can't do that, I promise only a small amount of punishment but I'm not just going to let her go. She is if I remember good with plants. She can work in the gardens for a few weeks," said Celestia.
Celestia called the guards back in and they took Clarity away. Celestia then arrange for Mayhem's transportation back to Ponyville. She said that they were both to spend the next week getting better and that there would be no punishment. As Shining Armor was leaving with Cadence and his parents he turned to Mayhem.
"Why is it every year one of your ex girlfriends either tries to humiliate us or kill us?" asked Shining Armor.
"No idea," said Mayhem.
The carriage for everyone going to the train station came by. Despite being sick as a dog Mayhem did not want help getting into the carriage. He really wanted to know what had happened last night, but he couldn't remember and he decided it would be best not to remember it. He did come to one conclusion, he and Shining Armor needed to have bar time that was not as insane as this time.
