Weekend at Celestia's

by Stratocaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 12156

A short comedy involving two mares and an unconcious princess

It was supposed to be a simple magical experiment for Twilight; she did not expect it to go horribly wrong. Now, she and Rainbow Dash find their beloved Princess Celestia knocked out cold. What's more is that the Princess is expected for royal business. What's Twilight's and Rainbow's solution? Alicorn puppet!

Published 2012-10-27 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-13 04:54:03 UTC

Say Cheese

Weekend at Celestia’s
By Stratocaster

Chapter 1: Say Cheese

Twilight Sparkle strode down the main street of Ponyville on a clear morning. Around her, the proprietors of the Ponyville farmers’ market had already set up shop and customers were buzzing about making bargains with the venders. Earlier, Twilight left her home at the library, leaving Spike to sleep in, to set out for Canterlot with an important objective on her mind. In her saddlebag, she kept a device that she had wanted to demonstrate in front of her beloved mentor, Princess Celestia. Now she was heading to the train station with a spring in her step; that is until she was knocked off her hooves by a sky blue streak. Twilight fell to the ground and looked up at her boisterous pegasus friend.
“Hiya, Twilight, what’s up?” asked Rainbow Dash cheerfully.
She looked at her discerningly. “Rainbow, what are you doing up this early?”
“It’s only 9:00; nothing like a little cloud coffee to start the day, huh?”
Twilight face hoofed trying not to imagine Pinkie Pie this hyper.
“Anyway,” continued Rainbow. “I just wanted to get up so I can get a head start on perfecting my sick moves. Before I spotted you, I was trying out a new trick I call the Rainbow and Arrow. You want to see it? Huh? Huh? Do ya?” she jumped excitedly.
“Eh, maybe later, Rainbow,” shrugged Twilight as she stood up. “But I’m a little busy right now.”
“Oh? Busy with what? More unicorn magic stuff?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” Twilight then reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a strange blocky device. “You see, I’ve invented a high powered magic camera that can capture photos in any spectrum of light: infrared, ultraviolet, x-ray, etc. And right now, I’m heading up to Canterlot to test the camera on Princess Celestia. I figure she would be the perfect for my first photo, as only she has the kind of royal essence to be captured in such detail.”
Rainbow stared at the camera, not listening to a word Twilight was saying. It was an old-fashioned portable accordion-like camera with an oversized flash bulb on top. She peered back at Twilight. “Sheesh, Twilight, this seems like a bit much just to take a lousy picture.”
“Photograph, Rainbow, and I’ll have you know this will become a milestone in the field of magic photography.”
“Ooh, magic photography, that’ll definitely get you ahead in life.” Rainbow rolled her magenta eyes.
“Say what you will, but this is a truly important study. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have the next train to Canterlot to catch.”
“Oh you don’t have to take that slow old train again; especially not when you got a regular speed demon like your pal Rainbow Dash. I’ll give you a lift straight to the castle.”
“Uh, I appreciate that, Rainbow, but I think I’m okay with taking the train.”
“Nonsense!”
“Rainbow, what are you- AAH!”
Before Twilight could finish, Rainbow swept her up into the air with a quick liftoff. The lavender mare yelped as she held desperately tight onto her friend’s shoulders. Rainbow zoomed off out of the Ponyville skyline with her unicorn pal clinging to her and pointed straight towards the mountainside city of Canterlot. Soon enough, the two approached the pristine city and landed on the plaza of the royal castle. Twilight got to her hooves and stood wobbling with her mane windswept back.
“Thank you for flying Air Rainbow, please exit to your left. Heh heh, now that wasn’t so bad was it?” smiled Rainbow as she trotted toward the castle.
Twilight fixed her frizzy mane and followed her muttering. “She really needs a seatbelt.”
The two friends approached the large front doors which were opened by two sentries outside letting them into the castle. As they entered the foyer, they looked to the adjacent royal lounge where they spotted a familiar rose white alicorn sitting peacefully reading with a cup of tea. The Princess turned up and noticed them walk over.
“Twilight, my faithful student,” greeted Celestia. “And Miss Rainbow Dash of course, what brings you two here to Canterlot?”
“Good morning, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said. “Rainbow flew me here to visit you so I can ask a favor.”
“I’d be happy to help.” Celestia replied.
“Well you see, I’ve invented this high powered magic camera that capture photos in any spectrum of-”
“Basically, Princess,” interrupted Rainbow. “Twilight wants to take a picture of you because she thinks it’s an important study.”
“Well it is!” Twilight snapped at Rainbow then turned back to the Princess. “And I figured you would be the perfect subject, I mean, model for the first picture on this thing.”
“Sounds interesting.” Celestia said. “I don’t mind posing for a photo every once and again. Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Thank you, Princess.” Twilight grinned.
Celestia got up from her couch and led her two companions upstairs. They walked down the hall to her throne room after she told her guards to leave them in privacy. They close the door and Celestia stood in front of her throne.
“This should be a good backdrop for your photo, Twilight.” She said.
“I really appreciate this, Princess.” Twilight replied.
“Yeah, and I really appreciate busting my wings just for you to click a button.” Rainbow scoffed at the unicorn.
“You’re the one who offered to bring me here.” Twilight shot back.
The bickering two then saw that Celestia was fussing with her mysteriously waving mane, parting it from side to side with indecision.
“Gee Princess, are you okay?” asked Rainbow. “You seem pretty anxious.”
“Oh, I’m fine.” Celestia replied. “It’s just that I’ve been a bit nervous about an important event I have tomorrow. I’m expected to meet with a council from the Land of the Griffons for a royal banquet. Honestly, I just get so uncomfortable at these formal things. That’s why I was thinking about visiting Ponyville later today to relax. Rarity said she would make me some nice attire for the council.”
“But you always seem so calm whenever I see you on royal business.” Twilight said. “I didn’t know even you could get nervous.”
“When you’ve been the ruler of Equestria for as long as I have, you learn to hide it well.” Celestia joked. “Okay, I’m ready whenever you are, Twilight.”
Without further adieu, Twilight grabbed the camera from her saddlebag and mounted it on a tripod. She fiddled with various knobs and latches on the magic device as she positioned it to the most accurate millimeter. After inching the camera for a little bit, trying Rainbow’s patience, Twilight turned back to Celestia.
“All set.” She told her.
The Princess poised herself in a regal pose smiling for the camera.
“Cheese!” Twilight hid her face behind the device and clicked a single button. Immediately, a burst of bright light shot from the enormous flash bulb, sweeping through the throne room and distorting visibility for a few seconds. Celestia dropped her smile at the blinding flash, as her pupils shrank to the size of peas. After a moment of suspension, she suddenly collapsed and fell to the floor on her side, with her face still frozen in shock. Twilight and Rainbow stared at the fallen Princess with bulging eyes before finally breaking the silence.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” they both screamed.
“Twilight, what have you done?!” shrieked Rainbow.
“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Twilight stomped her hooves nervously and then gasped. “Oh my goodness, the flash from the bulb must have stunned her. I didn’t think it would be that powerful!”
They rushed over to Celestia’s body, and Twilight felt her pulse.
“Is she…is she…” stammered Rainbow with fear.
“No, she’s just unconscious.” Twilight assured. “The flash must have shot her nerves. Oh this is all my fault. I knocked out my own teacher! This is worse than sending a late friendship report. This is ten times worse! Rainbow, what if somepony finds out? We’ll be in more trouble than we’ve ever been in our entire lives! We’ll have to disappear; move to a new town and change our names to Midnight Sprinkle and Raincloud Bash, and then-”
Rainbow grabbed Twilight and gave her two quick slaps across her cheeks.
“Snap out of it, Twi!”
The obsessive unicorn rubbed her red cheek. “Thanks, I needed that.” She then sighed looking at the unconscious alicorn. “Look, there’s no way we can run away from this. We have no choice but to do the right thing and confess.”
Another blue hoof stuck Twilight’s face.
“I said snap out of it, Twilight! You’ve got to be crazy if you think we’re going to tell anypony about this.”
“But Rainbow, we have to own up to our crime.”
“Do you realize what Princess Luna will do if she finds out we knocked out her sister?!”
Twilight then became horrified. “Oh crabapples, you’re right. Rainbow, we can’t let anypony know. Oh, but she has that council with the griffons tomorrow. What are we going to do? We can’t exactly hide a half-dead alicorn.”
“No, but maybe we won’t have to.”
“What do you mean?”
Rainbow rubbed her chin in deep thought. “Well, we don’t know how long she could be out. And she’s supposed to meet Rarity later today. I think I know how she could still get to Ponyville.”
“How?”
Rainbow then lifted up Celestia’s upper body with some strain. She managed to make the Princess almost seem like she was sitting up awkwardly.
“Twilight, go find some string and tape. I have an idea.”
Twilight groaned under her breath. “Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?”

No Strings Attached

Chapter 2: No Strings Attached

Before long, Twilight and Rainbow made it out of the castle without raising any suspicion. This was a miraculous feat, as they were carrying the vegetated body of Princess Celestia. The unconscious sun princess had her limp mouth taped open into an odd toothy smile, and her eyes were also taped revealing her shrunken pupils. Using string, Twilight had tied her two right legs to the Princess’s two left legs, and Rainbow did the same vise versa. This way, they were able to make her body walk along with them; it was ingenious, although coordination was becoming a problem.
“Watch it!” exclaimed Rainbow as the Princess leaned forward on her front knees.
“Oops!” Twilight winced apologetically and helped the body back up.
“Twilight, I told you,” urged Rainbow. “We have to walk in tandem if we’re going to make this work; left, right, left, right.”
“This is insane, Rainbow,” moaned Twilight. “Nopony is ever going to fall for this.”
“Just relax; we’ve got everything under control.”
“Yeah right, look at her! Her head’s not even up straight.”
“Hang on.” Rainbow then used her free front hoof to adjust Celestia’s head. She nudged it back so that it was no longer hanging down but dangling backward a bit far.
“Well that’s no better.” Twilight discerned.
“Hey, at least this way, she looks more regal.” Rainbow replied. “Look, let’s just focus on getting her out of Canterlot.”
“You know, I must say, I’m surprised you came up with this plan, Rainbow. The whole leg thing is pretty ingenious.”
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean you’re surprised?”
“Forget it, let’s keep walking. It’s a miracle nopony has flagged us down yet.”
“Twilight! Aunt Celestia!”
“Oh, pony feathers.”
The two mares stopped in their tracks as none other than Princess Cadence came trotting toward them. The slender pink alicorn greeted with a smile.
“Twilight, what brings you here, lil’ sis-in-law?” she asked warmly.
“Oh, uh, hi Cadence. My friend Rainbow Dash and I were just escorting Princess Celestia.” Twilight answered, quivering nervously. “We were just heading over to Ponyville.”
“I see,” replied Cadence. “Aunt Celestia, you still remember your audience with the Griffon council tomorrow, right?”
Twilight bit her lower lip; she had no clue how to make Celestia respond. But then she noticed Rainbow slide a hoof behind the Princess’s neck and carefully moved her head in a nodding motion.
“Are you okay Auntie?” asked Cadence oblivious. “You don’t really seem like yourself.”
“Uh, Princess Cadence, look!” exclaimed Rainbow pointing forward. “Shining Armor is ogling another mare!”
“What?!” Cadence turned around quick in surprise.
In one fell swoop, Rainbow pulled out her dark sunglasses and placed them over Celestia’s eyes, in the hopes that it would make her seem less conspicuous. Cadence turned back confused.
“Sorry,” shrugged Rainbow. “It was somepony else.”
“I’d like to stay and chat, Cadence,” said Twilight. “But we’re kind of in a hurry to get to Ponyville right now.”
“I understand; I won’t keep you.” Cadence replied. “Just make sure you visit me and your brother some time soon. See you, Twilight! Nice shades, Auntie.”
Twilight waved to her old foalsitter as she walked off. She breathed a sigh of relief and looked to Rainbow.
“That was a close one.” She said. “Thanks for that bit about my brother.”
“No problem, I’ve handled this kind of thing before.”
“You have?”
“…Well no, but I did get part of the whole idea from a Daring Do book.”
“Oh yeah, Volume 23: Daring Do and the Lifeless Corpse. Not one of the best ones.”
“Alright, if we can convince Princess Cadence that Celestia’s awake, then we shouldn’t have much of problem getting her to Ponyville.”
“I hope you’re right.”
It was an awkward walk through the streets of Canterlot. It wasn’t uncommon to see Celestia out and about in the city, but of course, passing citizens would wave and bow in respect. Rainbow waved her hoof making Celestia do the same in response. A few shopkeepers tried to flag the trio down offering various items of interest; but Rainbow would turn Celestia’s head from side to side. As Twilight and Rainbow proceeded toward the Canterlot train station, more and more ponies were beginning to crowd the streets.
“This isn’t going to work, Rainbow.” Twilight said. “We can’t this charade up much longer. And if we go on that train, somepony is bound to get suspicious.”
“Then what do you suppose we do?” asked Rainbow.
“I’m afraid our best solution will be to fly back to Ponyville.”
“As if! It’s one thing to lug you around in the air, but this is a whole new thing. I can’t carry a full grown alicorn; she’s already heavy enough.”
“Don’t worry; I’ll use levitation on her. You can just carry me.”
“I don’t know, Twi; that seems awfully risky.”
“Hey, this whole trick was your idea. Now do you want to get away with this, or do you want us to be exposed as criminals on a train?”
“Wow, you’ve really gotten pretty bad-flank all of sudden, Twilight.”
“My teacher is a vegetable; I don’t have time to be polite.”
After avoiding more publicity, Twilight and Rainbow made their way to peaceful meadow that stretched to the edge of the city. The two looked over the edge at the base of the mountain way down below; a whistling wind swirled by, brushing their manes. They removed the tape and the strings on their legs and the Princess’s body fell over limp. Twilight took a deep breath.
“Okay, you ready?” she asked.
Rainbow responded by taking her shades off Celestia and putting them on with a smirk.
“Always ready to soar!” she boasted.
The cyan pegasus then hovered above the ground. Twilight hung onto her shoulders and looked back at the Princess. She charged the magic within her horn and concentrated hard as she lifted her mentor off the ground in a purple magic aura. Twilight tapped Rainbow’s back and the two shot off with a rainbow streak stretching behind them. Celestia’s body trailed along in Twilight’s magic, as the lavender unicorn strained to keep her teacher aloft.
“I’m not sure how much longer I can hold her.” Twilight called to Rainbow.
“Just make sure you don’t forget to hang on to me. We need that big brain of yours.”
As they sailed over the Equestrian fields, the town of Ponyville already came into view in the distance. Rainbow seemed calm as se flapped her wings, but Twilight began to sweat keeping her magic up. Then a thought occurred to her.
“Rainbow, where are we going to land?” she asked. “I think it’ll be pretty easy for everypony in town to notice a floating unconscious princess.”
“Don’t worry; we’ll stop at my house.” Rainbow replied. “How are you holding up?”
Twilight looked back down and gasped. She realized that in the short time she stopped to talk to Rainbow, she unknowingly stopped her magic. Now, she was witnessing her teacher plummet toward the ground below them.
“Aah! Oh my gosh!” she yelped.
“Hang on!” called Rainbow and made a sharp left turn heading downward. Gaining speed, she pointed toward Celestia who was now terribly close to hitting the ground. Before the Princess could fall any further, Rainbow swooped under her limp body and caught her on her back. The force of her plopping on squashed Twilight on Rainbow’s back, forming a flying alicorn-unicorn-pegasus sandwich.
“Oof! Ouch!” grunted Twilight.
“Sorry!” Rainbow called back. “Oh man, she’s so heavy! Ugh, I can’t hold up!”
Rainbow fluttered her wings rapidly as she struggled to carry both her friend and the Princess. She could see her cloud home just up ahead. But she was losing altitude dramatically with the extra weight, and she feared landing hard on the ground. The house came closer and closer within reach and Rainbow summoned all of her strength. With a loud grunt, she picked up her altitude a little and performed a quick front loop, hurling Twilight and Celestia toward the cloud home. Before descending beneath the home, Rainbow saw that the two of them had landed on the front platform just inches away from the edge. She breathed a heavy sigh of relieve and flew up to join Twilight. She landed to see her friend sitting by the Princess and rubbing her head dizzily.
“And you said putting this platform on my house was a stupid idea.” Rainbow smiled.
Twilight shook off her trauma and replied. “I guess it isn’t completely useless.” She then slowly stood up with her knees wobbling. “Ah, my back!”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just never thought I would have my teacher land on me like a sack of potatoes. Oh, I shouldn’t say that; it’s disrespectful.”
“Don’t sweat it, Twi. Just stick with me, and this whole mess will be a breeze to get through. Now if you stay here, while I run inside.”
“What for?”
“To get more string. It’s not enough just to make the Princess walk. We’re going to step it up a notch!”
Twilight gulped as Rainbow went inside her house and she sat down beside Celestia, who ironically looked quite peaceful in her comatose state. At one point, Twilight saw the Princess’s hoof twitch for a bit. She thought that maybe she was awakening, but reminded herself not to get her hopes up. Twilight sighed.

Dressed For Excess

Chapter 3: Dressed For Excess

About a half hour later, the scholar and the speed demon left the cloud house and strolled down the main street of Ponyville. Celestia was tied to their hooves in the same way, only this time there were more strings attached to the Princess’s face that were practically unseen. The ponies along the street waved and bowed in her presence courteously, completely oblivious to the illusion. Most of the citizens knew that Twilight and Rainbow were close to the Princess, so they weren’t suspicious about the two walking beside her. So far so good, they made their way to Carousel Boutique.
“This is never going to work.” Twilight said under a feigned smile.
“Quit being so negative.” Rainbow told her. “We got this in the bag.”
“You keep saying that, but I have a hard time believing it.”
“Just let me do all the talking.”
“That’s what worries me.”
Twilight and Rainbow approached the front door of the boutique and Rainbow knocked, in turn making Celestia’s hoof follow the same action. Sure enough, a pearly white unicorn answered.
“Princess Celestia, your highness,” greeted Rarity cheerfully. “I didn’t expect you to arrive so early. And Twilight, Rainbow, what brings you two here?”
“Oh, uh, we were just out and about when we ran into the Princess here.” Twilight answered. “Um, she told us she was coming to visit you for a fitting and, uh, we decided to come along.”
“Oh splendid!” Rarity replied. “That means more time to show off my work. I have just the outfits for you two. But first, I must prep the Princess for her audience tomorrow. Shall we get started then, Princess?”
Twilight darted her eyes to her right. With her free hoof, Rainbow grabbed a couple strings that led up to Celestia’s face and strained to concentrate. She also turned her face away from Rarity and cleared her throat discretely. Then, Celestia’s lips began to move.
“Why certainly, Rarity dear,” came Rainbow’s voice in a regal impression. “I’m sure you have only the finest dress for my, uh, royal taste.”
“You won’t be disappointed!” Rarity said as she skipped back inside inviting them in.
“You see, Twilight?” whispered Rainbow. “If we can make her walk the walk, we can make her talk the talk.”
“Wow, Rainbow, you weren’t kidding.” Twilight replied. “You should have been some kind of puppeteer.”
“No way. Don’t tell anypony, but puppets actually creep me out.”
The two walked the Princess into the main room of the boutique where they sat down on a couch in the corner lounge area. Rarity placed a tea tray on the table in front of them.
“Have some tea, while I go get my finished product.” She said.
“Certainly, Rarity,” Rainbow made the Princess say. “I’ll be right here.”
Rainbow waited for Rarity to leave the room. But the unicorn fashionista only stood there smiling politely. Knowing it was time to intervene, Twilight turned her head away from Rarity and charged the magic in her horn. She levitated one of the cups of tea to Celestia’s mouth, hoping Rarity would not notice that the Princess’s horn was not glowing. Seeing the cup, Rainbow manipulated the face strings making Celestia slurp the tea from the cup and close her mouth.
“Be right back!” Rarity called as she cantered off upstairs.
Both Twilight and Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief, but then noticed tea dripping from Celestia’s mouth. Twilight quickly wiped her face with a napkin.
“Gee, you’d think that Rarity would recognize my magic aura.” Twilight said.
“That was some quick thinking,” replied Rainbow. “I can’t believe she’s that gullible.”
“By the way, maybe you should let me do the vocal impression. I think you were kind of milking it there.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, all I’m saying is that I’ve known the Princess longer than you, so-”
“Hey, I can imitate her as well as anypony. Are you saying I don’t have talent?”
“No, I’m saying that I can voice circles around you.”
“Now you listen here, egghead-”
“Ahem.”
The pair stopped bickering as they noticed Rarity reenter the room and put on their fake smiles again.
“I think you’ll be quite pleased with what I have in store for you, Princess.” Rarity announced. “I’ve been working on it since the minute I got your request letter.”
It was then that Rarity presented a large red and yellow dress designed in a royal fashion. Along the trim were bold blue gemstones cut in alternating circles and squares.
“Now at first, I thought the color scheme was a bit drab,” she continued. “But it came to me: sapphires! I think it’s just the perfect touch for your royal taste.”
Rainbow didn’t know what to honestly think of Rarity’s creation, as she wasn’t too keen on high-end fashion. So she left the talking to Twilight as she manipulated the strings.
“Oh it’s absolutely gorgeous, Rarity,” Twilight said in her Celestia impression. “It’ll be just the thing to where to the council tomorrow.”
Rarity grinned from ear to ear at “Celestia’s” approval. She even squealed with joy a bit.
“I’m so relieved you like it.” She said. “You simply must try it on now.”
“I certainly will.” Twilight’s voice said.
With that, the two got up with the Princess’s body and Twilight levitated the newly crafted dress, this time altering her purple aura to turn yellow. They walked Celestia over to the changing room when Rarity interrupted.
“Um, girls, what exactly are you two doing?” she asked suspicious.
Twilight and Rainbow looked at each other noticing their blunder.
“Um, we’re joining the Princess in the changing room?” Rainbow responded with a sheepish smile.
“That seems a bit…awkward.” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “May I ask why?”
“Well, uh,” stammered Twilight. “She needs help to zip up the dress of course.”
“So she needs two ponies to zip a dress?” contradicted Rarity.
Rainbow gulped hard. “Um, yup.”
“…Well if you say so.” Rarity said uneasily. “As long as the two of you are in there, you might as well try on these.”
With her own magic, Rarity levitated two smaller dresses off a rack. They were modified versions of Twilight’s and Rainbow’s gala attire. She placed the two dresses on their backs.
“Thanks, Rarity,” said Twilight. “We’ll be out in a jiffy.”
They walked into the changing room with the Princess, leaving a perplexed Rarity waiting outside. Once inside the small blank room, Twilight and Rainbow untied the strings on their legs making Celestia fall over limp.
“Alright, Rainbow,” said Twilight quietly. “Help her up while I put the dress on her.”
“Right.” Rainbow grunted as she lifted the body partly off the ground. Slowly and carefully, Twilight slipped the dress over the Princess, sliding over one hoof at a time then both wings. She cautiously put force into it as the dress seemed to be a bit snug on the body.
“How does it fit, Princess?” called Rarity from outside the door.
Twilight cleared her throat as she answered in her Celestia voice. “Um, it’s a little tight.”
“Oh dear me! I knew I got the size wrong!” whined Rarity. “Confound it, Rarity, why can’t you think straight?! I am not fit to sew for royalty!”
Rolling her eyes at her friend’s melodrama, Twilight called back. “It’s quite alright, Rarity, it still fits well.” She finally finished fitting on the dress. “Okay, that wasn’t so bad; now the zipper.”
She grabbed the zipper on the back of the dress and slid it downward. But suddenly, it stopped halfway down.
“Uh oh.”
“What’s the hold up?” asked Rainbow straining.
“The zipper is stuck. It’s caught in her coat.”
“Ouch. It’s a good thing she can’t feel it. She must really be out cold.”
“Is everything alright in there, girls?” called Rarity from outside the door.
“Uh, yeah, we’ll be out in a sec.” Rainbow responded. “Twilight, for the love of Luna, get that zipper unstuck.”
“I’m trying.”
Twilight struggled to move the zipper back and forth, but it would not move either way. She tried not to apply too much force as to leave a painful nick on the Princess’s body.
“Ah, it’s no use.” Twilight said. “Let’s just get the strings back on and get out. Maybe she won’t notice.”
“If you say so.” Rainbow replied and tied her legs back onto Celestia’s right. After Twilight did the same of the left, they faced the door.
“Wait!” stopped Twilight. “We forgot about our dresses.”
“Ugh!” groaned Rainbow. “I would give my right wing just to have this day end.”
Once again they detached from the Princess and slipped on their own dresses, having no trouble helping each other with their zippers. They reassumed puppet master positions and exited the tiny room. Rarity beamed as she saw Celestia.
“Oh thank goodness, it fits!” she said. “And you look absolutely marvelous, Princess.”
Rainbow gripped the strings beneath the half-zipped dress and Twilight responded.
“I couldn’t be happier with it, Rarity. Thank you for your service.” Twilight then reverted back to her normal voice. “So how do we look, Rarity?” she asked changing the subject.
“Oh you two look just as dazzling. I think it’s some of my best work yet, if I do say so myself.” The alabaster unicorn fluttered her eyelashes in pride, and then turned to Rainbow. “Um, Rainbow, might I ask why you have your hoof on the Princess’s back?”
Rainbow quickly withdrew her hoof nervously. “Heh heh, what do you mean?”
Rarity peaked behind Celestia and saw the zipper.
“Ah, pardon me, Princess,” she said. “But your zipper seems to be half-zipped back here. Allow me.”
She extended her hoof and gripped the zipper. With a swift tug, she pulled the zipper all the way down, unknowingly ripping off a sizable lock of the Princess’s coat. Twilight and Rainbow cringed at the harsh tear as they saw the white fur descend to the floor.
“No need to thank me.” Rarity smiled.
“Well, uh, thanks for the dresses, Rarity,” said Twilight. “We’d love to stay, but we actually have to get back to Canterlot.”
“Oh, are you going to wear your dresses out, then?” asked Rarity curious.
Twilight paused considering her answer. “Um…yes.”
“Thanks again, Rarity.” Rainbow added. “Uh, yeah, we’ll just be on our way, then. See you around!”
“Okay then, have a good day, you three!” Rarity happily waved them off as they exited the boutique trying to hide their urgency.
They proceeded on toward the library, with their dresses turning the heads of passersby. Rainbow groaned under her breath as she even received a few catcalls from the stallions.
“Hey Rainbow Dash, I think you made my heart do a sonic rainboom!”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,”
At last, they reached Twilight’s house and entered quickly. Immediately, they removed both the strings and the dresses which they laid on the sofa. When Twilight removed Celestia’s dress, she gasped at the sight of where Rarity accidentally ripped her coat.
“Oh shoot! Look what Rarity did.” She said.
On the Princess’s back was a patch of exposed skin with a red welt swelling up. Rainbow winced as she saw it.
“Ooh! That looks painful. Twilight, remind me to never ask Rarity to help with a zipper.”
“Alright, don’t panic.” Twilight slowed her nerves down. “It’s not that noticeable. We already got the dress, so all we have to worry about is putting on a show for the griffons tomorrow. For now, let’s just take some time to recuperate.”
“Hey Twilight, I was wondering when you were getting back.”
“Aah!” shrieked Rainbow at the new voice.
They both turned around to see Spike descending the staircase.
“Whoa! Is that Princess Celestia?” asked the little dragon. “Why is she lying on the floor like that?”
Twilight and Rainbow darted their eyes at each other with panic in their eyes.

Spikey Wikey and the Pink Menace

Chapter 4: Spikey Wikey and the Pink Menace

“…Twilight…what’s going on?”
Spike stood in the library staring at his roommate with suspicion. Twilight and Rainbow stood next to the still unconscious body of Princess Celestia shaking in their knees. With a clearing of her throat, Twilight spoke.
“Uh, Spike, I know what you’re thinking.” She said nervously. “But this isn’t what it looks like. Um, this is actually just a papier-mâché model of Princess Celestia.”
“Heh heh, yeah,” added Rainbow. “We got it before leaving Canterlot. I wouldn’t pay much attention to it.”
“Papier-mâché, huh?” said Spike. “So then you wouldn’t mind if I breathed a little on it?” he then prepared to breath a puff of fire on the tip of the Princess’s hoof.
“NO!!!” blurted Rainbow.
“Aha! I knew it! You did something bad to Princess Celestia.”
“Oh Spike, please don’t tell anypony!” pleaded Twilight. “We’ll get in so much trouble.”
“Twilight, what happened anyway?” asked Spike.
“I was going to show off my new magic camera to the Princess. But when I took a picture of her, the flash was bright enough to knock her out unconscious. And now she has an important meeting tomorrow and we have to make it look like she’s awake.”
“That’s crazy, Twi. I’d expect that kind of idea from Rainbow Dash.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” shot Rainbow.
“Look, Spike,” continued Twilight. “It’s imperative that nopony knows about this.”
“…Im…per…ra-”
“Oh you know what I’m talking about! Just promise me you won’t tell a soul. We already had to keep up the illusion for Cadence and Rarity. We don’t know how long the Princess will be out, but we have to keep this up at least for her meeting. Please don’t tell?”
“No can do, Twilight.” Spike said flatly. “I’ve covered for you plenty of times before. But hiding a half-dead princess? That’s a whole new level. Besides, if there’s one thing I learned from Applejack, it’s honesty. It’s time you confessed what you did and get some help.”
Twilight breathed a sigh of defeat. She was a bit surprised at her little assistant’s words of wisdom. “Spike, you’re right. I don’t know what came over me. I should have just told somepony and come clean. What would I do without you?”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Twi,” smiled Spike. “You probably won’t even get in trouble. It was an honest mistake. Now I think I’ll go pay Rarity a visit to help straighten out this mess.” He then proceeded toward the front door spraying breath freshener in his mouth. But he stopped in his tracks when he bumped into Rainbow who was blocking the door.
“You’re not going anywhere, half-pint!” she sneered.
Spike gulped intimidated. Then, Rainbow swept him up and flew speedily into a nearby closet with a slam of the door. Twilight heard muffled rummaging and yelling from within the closet with a look of shock. The noise stopped as the door swung open and Rainbow hopped out leaving a tied up and gagged Spike lying inside. The little dragon yelled muffled pleas for help as she shut the door with a kick of her back leg.
“Rainbow! What the hay do you think you’re doing?!” yelled Twilight.
“There’s no way we’re letting anypony know, Twilight, and that goes for dragons too.” Rainbow replied. “When the Princess wakes up, nopony will believe Spike, because nothing happened. Got it? Nothing…happened!”
“Rainbow, this is insane and highly unethical. We have to-”
“Two words, Twi: Princess…Luna!”
Twilight froze as she envisioned her possible punishment. She imagined Princess Luna banishing her and Rainbow to the moon forever.
“Alright, fine!” she said after snapping back. “But we have to keep the body here at my house until tomorrow. We can’t risk letting anypony find out that we knocked out the high ruler of Equestria.”
“Knocked what out of Equestria?”
“Dah!” Twilight jumped as a voice came from behind her. She turned around to see that none other than Pinkie Pie had let herself in.
“Hiya, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, what’s new?” greeted Pinkie in front of the doorway.
Twilight stood with her mouth gaping too scared to say anything. Then, before she could, Rainbow embraced the pink earth pony in a tight hug and turned her in the opposite direction.
“Pinkie Pie, my favorite party pony, it is so good to see you!” said Rainbow in mock enthusiasm. She then waved discretely toward Twilight and pointed at the Princess.
Twilight took the hint and began to move the body.
“Wow, Rainbow, you seem awfully cheery today.” Pinkie said.
“I’m just happy to see one of my closest friends.” Rainbow replied, exaggerating. “Come on; give me a big ol’ hug!”
With that, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Rainbow in a suffocating hug, making the pegasus grunt in pain. Meanwhile, Twilight was vigorously pushing the Princess out of plain sight.
“No wait, keep hugging.” Rainbow said trying to keep Pinkie’s view diverted. “It has to be ten seconds for a real hug.”
“Oh yeah, I told you that.” Pinkie replied and continued squeezing Rainbow’s innards.
With all her might, Twilight slid the heavy body behind a couch in the corner and gave Rainbow an all clear sign. Rainbow broke away from the chummy earth pony.
“Thanks, I needed that.” She said as she tried to regain whatever breath she had squeezed out of her.
“So Pinkie, what brings you here?” asked Twilight with a smile.
“I was just going to return a book I checked out: Authentic Dessert Recipes of Roam.” Pinkie answered. “Thanks, for lending it to me, Twilight. Now my cannolis are better and sweeter than ever!” She handed a sizable cookbook with dreamy illustrations of Roam on the cover to Twilight.
“It’s my pleasure, Pinkie,” replied Twilight. “I’ll just get a pen so I can write your time in the checkout card.” Twilight’s horn glowed as she prepared to remove a pen from her saddlebag on a nearby table. But in levitating the pen, she dropped a familiar blocky device from the bag which caught Pinkie’s eye.
“Ooh, is that a camera?” she asked with glee.
Twilight froze. “Oh, uh, yes it is.”
Without another word, Pinkie hopped over and picked the camera up off the floor. “I love cameras! You should see how many photos I’ve taken.”
“Pinkie, put that down!” snapped Twilight. “It’s very dangerous.”
“Oh please, Twilight, what harm could a camera do?”
With an enormous toothy smile, Pinkie pointed the camera at her face. Little did any of the three ponies know that Princess Celestia was beginning to stir awake.
“…Hm…what…what happened?” muttered the Princess as she poked her head out from behind the couch. “Where am I? What’s going on?”
“CHEESE!”
Twilight and Rainbow both shielded their eyes as Pinkie pressed the button on the camera, setting off another blinding flash. Celestia’s eyes receded and she once again passed out.
“Pinkie!” Twilight grabbed her ecstatic friend and inspected her face. “Are you okay?! How are you feeling?! Can you see alright?! How many fingers am I holding up?!”
“What’s a finger?” asked Pinkie with her usual friendly smile.
“That’s strange,” said Twilight. “You don’t seem to be affected at all by the flash.”
“And look how good the picture came out!” Pinkie immediately held up a photo of her in her gleeful grin.
Twilight scratched her head staring at her logic defying friend. Just then, they all heard a banging coming from the closet door.
“Hey, what do you got in the closet, Twilight?” asked Pinkie.
“Oh, uh, that’s just where I keep all my magic, uh, walking books.” She lied. “Yup, it sounds like one of them is just trying to escape.”
A panicked mumbling came from the door.
“Um, they also talk.” Twilight added. “Those books sure do cause a lot of fuss.”
“Tell me about it.” Pinkie said. “Zecora has a bunch of those living books, and one of them bit me once. Well, thanks again, Twilight, I’ll just be heading off.”
“Alright. Bye, Pinkie!”
Before walking out, Pinkie grabbed Rainbow in another lung crushing hug. “See you later, my favorite daredevil pony!”
“See you later, Pinkie.” Rainbow wheezed.
Pinkie Pie finally exited the library leaving Rainbow grasping her stomach.
“Ugh, I think she rearranged some of my organs!” she grunted. “You see, that’s why I’m not a fan of hugs.”
“Wait a minute, that’s it!” Twilight perked up.
“What’s it?”
“Zecora! She can help us! I bet she has some kind of remedy to wake Princess Celestia back up. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before!”
“Are you sure she can help?”
“Positive; Zecora has something for everything. Plus, we won’t have to worry about keeping up the illusion for the griffons.”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea. Zecora can definitely straighten this out. Let’s go over to her hut now.”
“Right, help me get the body. Ugh, I really do not like saying that.”
Twilight walked behind the couch. To her surprise, she saw Owlowiscious tugging at a lock of the Princess’s mane with his beak.
“Ah! Owlowiscious, no! Get away!”
“Hoot! Hoot!”
“Get out of here! No! Bad bird!”
The spunky little owl fluttered away from Twilight’s scolding.
“We better head over to the Everfree Forest right away.” Rainbow told her. “Before the Princess starts attracting vultures.” She then leaned a chair against the closet door and proceeded to exit the library with her friend.

Alicornnapped

Chapter 5: Alicornnapped

“Sister, dear, are you in there? I hope thou art decent.”
Princess Luna approached the door to her sister’s throne room. Opening it a crack, she poked her face inside.
“Celestia? Pray tell, where hath thou been all this morning?”
The moon princess stepped into the throne room only to find it empty.
“For sooth, where could she be? I hath doth searched all over thine castle and there hath yet to be a sign of her.” She gasped. “If she beith absent in the castle, then that can only mean one thing: my sister hath gone missing!”
Luna then ran back out into the hall.
“Guards! Guards! Princess Celestia is missing!”

Twilight and Rainbow walked down the overgrown path in the Everfree Forest toward Zecora’s hut. This time, instead of tying Celestia’s legs to theirs, they pulled her unconscious body in a small wagon with a tarp on top pulled by Rainbow. They finally reached the little hut.
“I sure hope she can really help us.” Rainbow said. “You don’t seem too worried about her knowing, Twilight.”
“Zecora won’t tell anypony.” Twilight replied. “She’s gotten me out of magical jams before, and she’s very trustworthy.”
The two approached the door, to which Twilight gave a knock.
“Hello! Zecora, are you home?” she called and peaked through a window on the side.
“Is she in there?” asked Rainbow.
“I don’t see her anywhere. The hut looks deserted.”
“Hey wait, there’s a note here.” Rainbow grabbed a small piece of paper that was nailed to the door and read it aloud. “‘Sorry if it is my help you seek, I am on vacation, be back in a week. –Z’” She facehoofed. “Great, just great! The Princess is a vegetable, and the only one who can cure her is at the beach.”
“Well now what do we do?”
“Let’s just bring her back to your house. Maybe we can try smelling salts or something.”
Disappointed, Twilight and Rainbow exited the forest shortly after and walked by Fluttershy’s cottage. Rainbow spotted the yellow pegasus feeding a fawn in the yard.
“There’s Fluttershy; she hasn’t seen us yet.” She whispered to Twilight. “Just keep walking and try not to draw attention from her.”
“Hi, Rainbow! Hi Twilight!”
“Son of a-”
They turned to see Fluttershy trotting to them from the yard with a soft smile on her face.
“I haven’t seen either of you too around all day.” She greeted in her usual hushed voice. “I mean, if you were busy, that’s okay.”
“Uh, hi Fluttershy. We were just in Canterlot earlier.” Twilight told her. “No special occasion, really, just a random visit. Yup, that’s all.”
“Um, if you don’t mind me asking,” said Fluttershy. “What do you have in that wagon?”
“Oh, uh, it’s nothing, just some souvenirs from Canterlot.” Rainbow smiled.
“Ooh, can I see?”
“No!” Rainbow snapped her hoof over the tarp on the wagon. “They’re, uh, they’re really fragile. Um, they can’t be exposed to sunlight.”
“Oh, um, I’m sorry.” Fluttershy retracted a bit confused.
“Well, we’d love to stay and chat, Fluttershy,” said Twilight. “But we have to get back to the library, now. So we’ll see you later.”
“Wait, Twilight.” Fluttershy stopped them. “Um, I’ve been meaning to ask for your help, if that’s okay with you. Well, you see, I found this big hole in my roof. It looked almost as if a pegasus had crashed in through it.”
Twilight gave a suspicious discerning stare to Rainbow who only pawed the ground and looked away.
“Anyway, Twilight,” continued Fluttershy. “I was wondering if you could use your magic to help patch up my roof. I mean, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
“Of course I can help, Fluttershy.” Twilight replied. “I’ll fix that roof in a jiffy.”
“Oh thank you so much, Twilight.”
“I’ll just stay out here while you two head in.” Rainbow added.
Twilight and Fluttershy walked into the cottage leaving Rainbow outside to guard the wagon and its precious cargo. She sat on her haunches and stared up at the clouds in boredom. After a few minutes, she felt something rubbing against her hoof. Rainbow looked down to see a little white rabbit staring up at her.
“Oh, hi Angel.” She said. “Don’t mind me; I’m just waiting for Twilight.”
Angel only continued staring while twitching his nose.
“Uh, are you hungry?” asked Rainbow. “Sorry, nothing on me. Fluttershy’s inside.”
The curious little bunny then turned to the wagon and hopped up on the edge, still wrinkling his nose.
“Hey, get away from there. That’s not for you to see.” Rainbow ordered.
Ignoring her, Angel dove under the tarp picking up the mysterious scent.
“Get out of there, you nosy rabbit!” scolded Rainbow.
Immediately, Angel rose up from under the tarp slowly with a look of puzzlement on his face. He looked up at Rainbow in confusion.
“Alright, you saw. But it’s not like you’re going to tell Fluttershy on us.”
The bunny glared at Rainbow’s remark hopped off the wagon. He continued off toward his caretaker’s cottage.
“Wait, where are you going? You’re not gonna…uh oh.”
Rainbow froze in realization. The little rabbit was smarter than she had thought. With a quick swoop, she flew off after Angel and grabbed him by the ears lifting him into the air.
“What Fluttershy doesn’t know won’t hurt you.” She hissed with a devious smile.
Angel kicked furiously in the air trying to free himself from the pegasus’s clutch. But his squirming proved useless as Rainbow soared off into town leaving a multicolored streak.
Meanwhile, inside the cottage, Twilight levitated pieces of wood and thatch up to a gaping hole in the roof upstairs. With ease, she covered the hole better than any carpenter. As she repaired, Fluttershy entered the room with a dower expression.
“I’m almost done, Fluttershy.” Twilight smiled. “It’s already looking good as new.”
“Um, Twilight,” started Fluttershy quietly. “I just heard some troubling news.”
Twilight became concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I don’t know how else to say this but…Princess Celestia is missing.”
A stunned look overcame Twilight’s face as she dropped the thatch from her magic. Her eye began to twitch a bit.
“Oh, I’m sorry you have to hear this, Twilight. I just found out from a royal guard who just came into town. He was posting search warrants for the Princess. It seems pretty serious. Oh I hope she’s okay.”
“…uh…uh…uh…uh…uh…”
“Twilight, you don’t look so good. Your face is turning green. I can go get you some medicine from downstairs if you’re feeling sick.”
Twilight snapped back. “Oh, uh, no that’s fine, Fluttershy. I feel alright.”
“Are you sure? You’re shaking in your knees.”
“Uh, I’m just a little tired.” She then levitated the rest of the building material and stuck it haphazardly into the hole in the roof leaving an awkward lump. “Well, I don’t want to keep Rainbow waiting. I should probably go and help her with the body.”
“The what?”
“Ah! I mean, the booooooooooooooks. Books. Yup, time to get back to work at the library, yes sir. Well, I’m glad I could help, Fluttershy. I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!”
With that, the neurotic unicorn sped out of the cottage before Fluttershy could respond. The pegasus scratched her head.
“Hmm, that was strange.” She said to herself. “As soon as I mentioned that Princess Celestia is missing, Twilight started acting nervous. She also said she was in Canterlot earlier today. Maybe the Princess went missing just after she left. But what was under that wagon? …Oh well, I’m sure everything will turn out alright. Ooh, feeding time. Angel, time for supper! Where are you, silly bunny? Angel?”
Twilight rushed out of the cottage to the wagon. She gasped when she noticed that Rainbow was not there next to it. But then an oncoming streak appeared in the corner of her vision. Sure enough, Rainbow flew toward her and landed by the wagon.
“Rainbow, where were you?” asked Twilight.
“Don’t worry about it.” Rainbow responded. “Look, I think we should probably leave right now.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more. Fluttershy just told me that Princess Celestia’s turned up missing. And now her guards are searching for her.”
“Oh crabapples! Twilight, we can’t keep hiding in your house. If the royal guards are searching for the Princess, we can’t stay in Ponyville. We’ve got to get out of town.”
“But what do we do about the council tomorrow? If we go through with that, it’ll seem suspicious that the Princess shows up unexpected.”
“Forget about the council, Twilight. This just went from bad to worse. It’s no use making her seem awake anymore. What we have to do is leave her body back at the castle for somepony to find her. When she wakes up, she probably won’t remember a thing and we might be in the clear.”
“That seems incredibly risky. But we’ve made it this far without getting caught…except for Spike, of course. You’re right, Rainbow, we just have to play amnesia. But now that the guards are sniffing around Ponyville, we’ll have to leave right now.”
“Then let’s get going. All we have to do is get by Sweet Apple Acres and we’re home free for Canterlot.”
“Angel? Angel, where are you?” came Fluttershy’s voice from inside the cottage.
Twilight looked at Rainbow again accusingly.
“Rainbow, do you know what happened to Angel?”
“Uh, nope, not a clue. Let’s get a move on!”
Before they could be flagged down by Fluttershy again, the pair took off down the road pulling Celestia in the wagon. Already, the sun was setting over the horizon and nighttime was upon them. Along the way, as they began to pass Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight and Rainbow saw one of the townsponies galloping down the road toward them. It was Daisy who had a look of fright across her face. She screeched to a halt in front of the two.
“Twilight, Rainbow, where are you two going?” she asked panting.
“Um…camping?” shrugged Rainbow with her best excuse.
“Haven’t you heard?” continued Daisy. “Princess Celestia is missing. And the royal guards have raised security.”
“What do you mean, Daisy?” asked Twilight.
“I mean they’re sealing off all roads out of Ponyville! Nopony is allowed to leave for the rest of the night.”
“Are you kidding?” Rainbow gasped.
“Does this face look like I’m kidding?!” shot back Daisy pointing to her frantic expression. “This is an emergency! I mean what are we going to do if nopony finds the Princess? There’ll be a breakdown in leadership of Equestria! There’s going to anarchy, I tell you! Anarchy!”
Without another word, Daisy charged down the road past Twilight and Rainbow.
“Wow, that seemed a bit…melodramatic.” Twilight said.
“It’s just Daisy; she’s always paranoid.” Rainbow replied. “Well, I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get out of here.”
“I know, why don’t we hide out in the Apples’ barn? Applejack and her family are probably done with farm work by now.”
“Good thinking. We should get some shuteye there.”
As darkness swelled in the sky, Twilight and Rainbow sneaked over the fence and through the yard outside Applejack’s farmhouse. They entered the barn, quietly opening the door and shutting it. Rainbow wheeled the wagon over behind one of the large piles of hay.
“Alright, we should be fine until morning.” She said.
“We’ll have to leave as soon as we’re allowed to leave town.” Twilight added. “We can’t risk letting the Apples find us in here.”
With a tired groan, Rainbow plopped herself down on the hay pile and yawned. “For now, let’s just get some sleep. This day has really drained all my energy; and that’s saying something.”
“Yeah, I’m getting pretty tired too.” Twilight lay down next to her as she watched the night sky completely manifest. “I can’t wait to just get this whole mess over with. Well, goodnight, Rainbow.”
“Goodnight, Twilight.”
The two lied on the hay pile and closed their eyes trying to sleep off the stress of the entire day. But then Rainbow spoke again.
“Hey Twi, I just thought of something.”
“What is it?”
“…Who’s going to raise the sun?”
“……Oh buck me.”

Daylight Savings

Chapter 6: Daylight Savings

“For the last time, Big Mac, toilets do flush counterclockwise in southern Equestria.”
“Nope.”
“Ugh, stubborn.”
Applejack and Big Macintosh walked down to the barn outside their farmhouse. Granny Smith had just woken them both up early to begin work on some new seed beds out by the apple tree fields. They walked together to gather up Big Mac’s plow and a few seed bags and set out to start the daily grind. As Big Mac opened the barn door, Applejack gasped.
“What in tarnation?!” she exclaimed.
Before them in the barn were Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash lying together asleep on a pile of hay. Twilight seemed to be hugging Rainbow who was mumbling in her sleep.
“Mm, oh Soarin’, ravish me in your big strong hooves.”
Applejack stepped over to the sleeping ponies and cleared her throat.
“Ahem, just what the hay is goin’ on here?!”
“No pun intended.” Big Mac muttered.
They both shot their eyes open and glanced at each other.
“Ah! Twilight get off of me!” yelled Rainbow as she scrambled to her hooves.
Twilight realized her sleeping position and backed away. “Ah, sorry!”
“Do you girls mind tellin’ me what you were doin’ in here?” asked Applejack.
“Applejack!” started Twilight. “Uh, Rainbow and I were just, uh, camping!”
“Campin’?” repeated Applejack. “In our barn?”
“Uh, well, we were camping outside,” added Rainbow. “But, um, we saw an Ursa Major so we ran in here to hide. Heh heh, I guess we ended up sleeping here.”
“Well that’s a might odd to be campin’ outside our farm.” Applejack said. “But Ah’ve seen stranger things. If you girls don’t mind, Big Mac and Ah have to get to work.”
“Yup.”
“No problem, AJ,” replied Twilight. “We’ll get out of your mane.”
Applejack then walked over to lift a large burlap sack of apple seeds. She seemed to be struggling as she barely managed to lift the heavy bag off the floor with her mouth. Twilight noticed her straining and joined next to her.
“Hey, why don’t I help you carry these seeds, Applejack?” she asked.
“That’s mighty kind of ya, Twilight.” Applejack smiled. “But Ah can manage it. Ah’ll just put them on our wagon. Now where is that darn thing?” She scanned the back of the barn. “Aha, Ah see it.” She headed toward the wagon poking out from behind the hay pile where Twilight and Rainbow were sleeping.
“Wait! Don’t go back there!” shouted Rainbow as she blocked Applejack’s path.
“And why shouldn’t Ah?” inquired the farm mare.
“Uh, you see,” Rainbow began to sweat. “The Ursa Major chased us in here and, uh, before it left, it destroyed your wagon.”
“Not a problem,” retorted Applejack. “Big Mac can just fix it right up.”
“Uh, well, I still wouldn’t go near it.”
“Why not?”
“The Ursa Major…dropped in the wagon.”
“Dropped? What do you…oh! Ah, that’s just plum nasty! You mean to tell me that you hid from an Ursa Major in our barn as it defecated in the wagon, and neither of ya came to tell us?”
“Um, we were really tired?” Twilight gave a nervous smile.
Applejack sighed. “Well, at least the two of you are safe, Ah guess. Alright, Twilight, you can help me with the seeds. We just have to bring them to the field entrance. Go get yer plow, big brother; we’ll meet over there.”
Twilight helped Applejack lift a bag and placed it over both their backs. The two walked out of the barn leaving Big Macintosh with Rainbow. The bulky earth stallion smiled awkwardly at Rainbow, who responded the same way.
“So, uh, how’s it going, Big Mac?” asked Rainbow making small talk.
“Fine. And you?” He answered simply.
“Good, good, everything’s good.” She nodded rapidly.
The two stood with a dry silence hanging between them.
“Well, Ah guess Ah should get my plow.” Big Mac broke the silence.
“Uh, okay then.”
The draftpony proceeded to the back of the barn as Rainbow darted her eyes and tapped her hoof in thought. Then, she heard him speak.
“Hey, this wagon’s not broken.” Big Mac called.
Rainbow flinched and leaped in front of him.
“Uh, I wouldn’t look in there, big guy!” she struggled to keep her cool.
“But Ah don’t smell any Ursa Major droppins’ either.” He said discerningly and stepped past her to the wagon. He curiously eyed the tarp on top and, to Rainbow’s shock, he turned it over. Big Mac gasped.
“Princess Celestia?!” he stuttered.
“Alright, Big Mac, I know this looks bad,” started Rainbow. “But Twilight and I totally got this under control. Just don’t tell anypony about this and everything will be alright.”
Big Mac stared at her with a pause. Then, he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He knew there were no Ursa Major droppings, but something still didn’t smell right.
“Applejack!” he called as he galloped toward the door. “Applejack, come qu-”
Before he could exit the barn, Rainbow bolted through the air and tackled Big Mac. The impact left the hulking stallion lying in a daze. Then, struggling with all her might, Rainbow lifted him off the ground on her back.
“Sorry, Big Mac,” she said straining. “But loose lips sink ships.”
Slowly but surely, Rainbow flew off with the heavy Big Mac lying on her back. While she was away, Twilight and Applejack returned to the barn to make a second trip of hauling seeds.
“So Twilight, you’re not the least bit worried about Princess Celestia missin’?” asked Applejack curiously.
“Oh, you know the Princess.” Twilight shrugged. “She’s probably on some private business. I’m sure this is just an overreaction.”
“Ah don’t know, Twi, it seems like the Princess might be in some kind of trouble. Ah don’t see why she would forget to raise the sun. It’s already 7:30 and it isn’t up yet.”
“Wait, it’s 7:30?! Oh shoot!”
“What’s wrong, sugar cube?”
“Uh, nothing. It’s just that Rainbow and I need to be somewhere right now. It’s kind of important, you know.”
“Don’t worry about it, Twi, you go on ahead. Ah’ll just get Big Mac to carry the seeds. Thanks for your help, though.”
“Eh, no problem.”
Twilight darted her eyes frantically as she stood there with Applejack. She noticed that Rainbow was nowhere to be seen. Just then, she saw a multicolored streak cross the sky outside a crack in the barn wall. Rainbow landed outside the door and put on a fake smile for AJ.
“Well, uh, I guess we’ll be leaving now.” Twilight said. See you later, AJ.”
“So long, Twilight.” Applejack then turned to try and lift another seed bag with her teeth. As she struggled, Twilight and Rainbow tiphoofed out of the barn after retrieving the wagon with Celestia’s body still inside.
“Ugh, this is gettin’ nowhere.” Applejack said oblivious. “Big Mac, get in here and give me a hoof! …Big Mac? Where are ya?” She sighed after a long pause. “Unbelievable.” She continued to drag the bag along slowly out of the barn, muttering angrily under her breath.

Twilight and Rainbow sped down the road from Sweet Apple Acres under the strangely dark sky. As they galloped along, pulling the Apples’ wagon behind, they saw a light up ahead. Coming closer, they saw two pegasus stallions standing outside what appeared to be a roadside booth.
“Oh great,” moaned Twilight. “The guards are still blocking Ponyville.”
“Don’t worry,” said Rainbow with a cocky grin. “I still have one more trick up my wing: the Rainbow and Arrow!”
With that, Rainbow stopped and detached herself from the wagon. Twilight noticed her and stopped as well as the pegasus floated upward.
“What are you doing?” she asked as Rainbow ascended without an answer.
Twilight squinted to witness her swirling around a night cloud and quickly descending back dragging the cloud in a string shape behind her. As she approached the ground, she spun in a single small loop tying the stringed cloud in a D shape.
“Alright, Twi, get in the wagon with the Princess.” Rainbow told her.
“What?! Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Hesitantly, Twilight climbed into the rickety wagon with the body. After pushing the wagon in front of the D shaped cloud, Rainbow then got behind and stretched the curved part of the cloud back. Further and further, she pulled the cloud string somehow creating tensile strength. When she finally could not stretch back any further, Rainbow spread out her wings and lifted her hooves off the ground causing the cloud string to slingshot her forward toward the wagon. With perfect timing, she grabbed the bottom of the small cart and began to ascend at an alarming speed. Within seconds, they passed straight over the guard post without raising much suspicion.
“Did you see that?” asked one guard. “I think I just saw a flying wagon pass over us.”
“You want to know what I see?” replied the other. “A pony who’s close to getting fired for hallucinating.”
Hurdling through the air, Twilight’s face was being blown back as she sat in the projectile wagon with Rainbow hanging on for dear life keeping her wings spread out.
“Rainbow! What the hay are you doing?!” she yelled over the wing in her face.
“Look ahead!” responded Rainbow.
Twilight turned forward and saw where they were rocketing towards. Faster than she had ever seen before, Canterlot came closer and closer.
“We’re going to crash right into the city!” she shouted.
“No we’re not! I’ll just change our trajectory a little!”
Carefully, Rainbow tilted her wings steering the flying cart ever so slightly. It wasn’t long before they were now hurdling toward Canterlot Castle at an alarming rate.
“Get down!” yelled Rainbow.
With shock and fear, Twilight did as she was told and hid her face beneath the wagon and braced for impact. Rainbow shut her eyes as they approached one of the tall stained glass windows of the castle. Sure enough, they burst through the glass with a shutter, sending the two ponies spiraling literally off the wagon; they landed hard on the floor and lay in a daze. After a brief moment of dizziness, Twilight opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings with a moan.
“Ugh, I think I have a hornache.” She mumbled sitting up. She saw Rainbow struggling to her hooves as well.
“At least we made it.” Rainbow said sounding a bit queasy. “But I might have to keep the Rainbow and Arrow to a minimum.”
“Hey, where’s the Princess?”
They both turned to look in awe. On the far side of what turned out to be the throne room, Celestia’s body lied in a tangle, yet surprisingly still unharmed, amongst a pile of wooden rubble; the Apples’ wagon had been completely destroyed. Then, Twilight glanced at the stained glass window they had just crashed through and gasped.
“Rainbow, what have we done?” she whimpered in fear.
“It’s just a broken window, Twilight, no big deal.” Rainbow shrugged.
“No big deal?! Look what we almost crashed through!”
Rainbow looked to where Twilight was pointing with shocked realization. Next to the severely damaged glass was the stained glass window that depicted her, Twilight, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony.
“Oh snap!” gasped Rainbow.
“This has gone far enough, Rainbow. We’ve left too much evidence already. First the suspicious behavior, then Spike finding out, then us stealing the Apples’ property, and now we’ve done noticeable damage to the Princess’s throne room! It’s time to end this.”
“Don’t be crazy, Twi. All we have to do is leave and act none the wiser.”
“We can’t keep up this charade any longer! Spike was right; I should have confessed instead of going through this ridiculous escapade. Rainbow, I don’t know about you, but I’m turning myself in.”
“But what about Princess Luna?”
“I don’t care if she banishes me to the moon! The longer we drag this out, the more the guilt will stick us. It’s time we let everypony know that we knocked out Princess Celestia and hid her body.”
“Thou have done what?!”
“…oh dear.”
Twilight fainted to the floor.

Cross My Heart and Hope To Fly...

Chapter 7: Cross My Heart and Hope To Fly…

Everything was coming back in a haze. As Twilight’s eyelids slowly began to pull open, her vision was met with bright light, making it hard to take in her surroundings. She moved her front hooves a bit feeling the surface she rested on. It appeared she was lying on something soft and cushiony; her spinning head even seemed to be supported by a large pillow. Finally, Twilight managed to open her eyes completely and struggled to focus her vision. There was a silhouette directly in front of her face blocking the blinding light. Then, she began to make out details on the silhouette. It was definitely a pony, with a white coat and a horn on the head. Twilight at first figured it was Rarity; but then she came to realize. Rarity’s mane was not multicolored and didn’t flow like wind. Twilight gasped as the face was at last revealed.
“…P…P…Princess…Celestia?” she said almost in a whisper.
There before her was the all too familiar face of Princess Celestia smiling down upon her. Before twilight could react, the graceful alicorn spoke in her usual gentle manner.
“You took quite a fall there.” She said.
Then, everything suddenly came back to Twilight. She sat up quickly as she recalled the incidents leading up to the crash in throne room with Rainbow.
“Oh my goodness!” she squeaked. “Princess, I- I- I don’t know what-”
Celestia put a hoof to Twilight’s mouth. “There’s no need to worry, Twilight. Rainbow told me everything.”
Twilight slumped down on the pillow. She looked around and noticed that she was sitting in Celestia’s royal bed chambers. A slight pain came in her head remembering the violent crash through the window and her sudden fall after seeing Princess Luna. She looked at Celestia again who was standing at the bedside.
“Princess, I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry about what I’ve done.” Twilight pleaded. “I was so scared when you were knocked out by the camera flash. I wasn’t thinking straight and I let myself take part in aiding a crime to Equestria. I know now that whatever punishment I get will be too good for me.”
Twilight covered her eyes in shame as she sat up on the bed beginning to sob. Then, she felt a light touch on her shoulder.
“I’m not mad at you, Twilight.” Celestia spoke. “There was no harm done.”
Twilight peered up. “But, we paraded you around like some kind of puppet! How can you ever forgive me?”
“Well you see, I woke up in the throne room to find Rainbow, Luna and you lying unconscious on the floor. When she saw me get up, Rainbow broke down and confessed the whole story. She told me that you were about to turn yourself in before Luna arrived. Once I heard everything, I decided to let Rainbow off easy; and you as well.”
“But why?”
“You were about to do the right thing. Normally, I’d give you some long stern lecture about honesty and all that. But you decided to own up to your actions yourself without my guidance. I’m proud of you, Twilight. So, I’m not going to punish you. However, I do suggest telling somepony first.”
“But, what about Rainbow?”
“Well, normally I would give her some harsh words. But because she confessed everything, and to be honest I’ve never seen her so panicky, I decided to give her a slap on the wrist.”
“And how did Princess Luna take the news.”
“There was no doubt that my sister would spread the word about your little endeavor. But I didn’t want to stir up commotion about it, so I used magic to erase her memory of everything that happened since she found I was missing. Luna can be a real tattletale.”
Twilight gave a shuddering sigh. “Princess, you are just too kind. I can’t see how you could ever forgive somepony for this whole mess.”
“You’re my student, Twilight. You’re no criminal.” Celestia smiled warmly.
“So, what about your meting with the griffons?”
“I decided to postpone it. This whole incident has gotten everypony in Canterlot pretty worked up. I could use some time to rest before continuing with royal business; even though I’ve been resting for a whole day.” The Princess chuckled.
Twilight laughed sheepishly as well. Then, Princess Luna poked her head around the door of the bedroom.
“We trust our guest has awakened from thine slumber?” she asked.
“Yes, Luna,” responded Celestia. “She took a bit of a spill, but she’s just fine now.”
“Well anyway,” continued Luna. “We bring a bit of troubling news, sister. One of thy guards speaks of thou being missing and thine unconscious body was seen with fair Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight’s eyes widened with worry; but Celestia only replied calmly.
“Why whatever do you mean, Luna? I was at the castle the whole time. And I think I would remember being dragged off by Twilight and Rainbow, who would never do such a thing.” She turned around and put a hoof to her mouth giving Twilight a gesture of silence.
Luna looked around partially confused. “Well, if thou say so.” The moon princess left.
“I should probably leave you to get some rest.” Celestia told Twilight. “You can go home whenever you feel ready.”
“So, you’re really not going to tell anypony about what happened?” asked Twilight.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” The Princess made the appropriate gestures.
“Thank you so much, Princess Celestia.” Twilight smiled. “This won’t happen again.”
“It’s all water under the bridge.” Celestia proceeded toward the door. Before leaving, she looked back once more. “Oh by the way, Twilight, can you do me a favor?”
Twilight perked up.
“Tell Rarity I love the dress.” Celestia gave her student a wink and exited.
Twilight lay back in the royal bed, put her hooves behind her head and breathed a sigh of relief. After a few minutes, she heard the door open again, and this time, Rainbow entered.
“Hey, Twi,” she greeted with an awkward look. “I guess the Princess told you what happened, huh.”
“Don’t worry, Rainbow,” replied Twilight. “I probably would have broken down too.”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head and continued. “Twilight, I’m really sorry I dragged you through this. You always know what’s right. I should’ve listened to you from the start.”
“It’s okay, Rainbow; the Princess isn’t even mad. She promised to keep it all a secret.”
“Wow, I can’t believe we’re both off the hook. That princess really doesn’t get upset about much.”
“Well, what do you say we put this whole mess behind us and head on home?”
“That sounds great. Hop on!”
Rainbow then walked over to one of the windows and opened it while spreading out her wings. But then Twilight’s hoof grabbed her shoulder.
“We…are taking…the train!” scolded Twilight.
“Aw!” Rainbow kicked the floor with disappointment as she followed Twilight out.

“Hello? Twilight, I am back from my trip! I hope I did not let any trouble slip.”
Zecora entered the Ponyville library after noticing the door was open a crack. She walked in and scanned for any sign of the purple unicorn; but there was none.
“Twilight, are you home? Where could that pony roam?” she asked herself.
Just then, she heard a sudden thump from a nearby closet. Curious, Zecora walked over and opened the door. She gasped as she saw Spike, Big Macintosh, and Angel all tied up and gagged in the closet. They looked up at her with distress.
“Oh my dear! What in Equestria has happened here?” Zecora said.
She then removed the rag from Spike’s mouth, and the little dragon shouted.
“TWILIGHT!”

The End