Breathtaking

The state department representative we were tasked with escorting was an asshole, but that was ok. We didn't have to listen to his shit, we just had to keep our eyes open and make sure he didn't die. On US military bases in Afghanistan, you were relatively in good shape safety wise unless the bad guys decided that day was a good day for mortars. Even then you were ok. Not a lot of folks got hurt in mortar attacks these days. After they figure out where the firing is coming from, Americans will light it up with artillery, air support, whatever. Seems like no one wanted to explode the entire time we had been there, so it was still a pretty uneventful job.

We left a post in the southern part of the country and the convoy headed north. We were just three trucks, but the insides of these black Suburbans are what counts. Ten men, armed with assorted weapons were guarding one. All of us ten were warriors by trade; there was slim chance of anything out there being able to take us down. I sat in the third truck with my buddies, Dublin, Rainmaker, and Mr. Piggy. We used code names in theater, mostly because referring to someone over the radio in a hostile area by name is usually a bad idea, second because it sounded cool. I was, naturally, called Cowboy. We sat in the truck, laughing and having a good time while Dublin drove. Telling stories about life back in the States helped us keep our sanity. Piggy was telling us a story he heard about a US Marine.

"Well, there was this Marine see? He was deploying out to Iraq early in the war. His girlfriend promises him, she says 'Babe, I promise I will talk to you every night!' Well, at first she does and they're fine, but eventually, her messages and calls get farther and farther apart. She starts getting distant and not sending care packages like she used to.

"One day, after a whole month of not hearing from her, she sends him a single message. 'Ive been seeing someone else. I want you to send me back all the pictures of me I sent you.' The marine was heartbroken for a moment, but he knew what the right thing to do was. He went around the post, collecting old unwanted girlfriend pictures and porn he could find. And like any good marine, he stuffed them all into a manilla folder with a short note. The note says "I can't remember which one you are, take your pictures and send the rest back."

The inside of the truck filled with laughter. I shook my head and smiled. I heard it before, but it never got old. Also, I was pretty sure that was in an episode of MASH. Oh well, I won't kill the fun. We continued down the road for a piece, still swapping jokes and laughing. I chuckled and started telling a funny story of my own, involving a bottle of vodka, a can of spray deodorant, and a lighter. I'm just getting to the part where I light myself on fire when a huge explosion rocks the area.

Our convoy stops and I get out. Lead truck was still in one piece, thank God. I ran up to the front to find out just what in the hell was going on. Fox, the team leader stepped out of his seat in the lead truck and met me halfway.

"IED just up here on the road. They must have buried it too deep cause all it did was make a hole. Everyone's good. Head back to your truck and sit there while we figure this out."

I turned to head back and took a step just in time for a bullet to fly out of the hills nearby and hit the SUV I was standing next to. At about head height. What the fuck?! We're under attack! After that first bullet came in, the hills came alive with muzzle flashes from rifles and smoke trails from rockets. All of the group jumped out of their trucks and trained their weapons on the hills, shooting at anything that moved.

The crackle of gunfire was deafening. Explosions from incoming RPGs were louder. The bosses expected us to wear hearing protection, but when you were trained to return fire, worrying about a little hearing loss came secondary. Later. When your ears stopped ringing. So, we returned fire from various positions around one of our black Suburbans. The additional steel plating in the doors and body made it a good place to at least KIND of feel safe.

From the hills around us came streaks of incoming tracers and we fired back in kind. Our capabilities of returning fire, however were limited. The company we represented might have given each of us 10K to buy whatever the hell kinda weapons we wanted, but they said we couldn't buy anything automatic... Something about civil liability issues. I didn't pay much attention. I was drooling over the damn check and thinking about what I could get with it.

Our rounds were going off as comparatively slow pops. Theirs were coming in with about three hundred more every minute. Fox was on our radio trying to get support from a nearby military base. After all, we WERE escorting a U.S. diplomat. No big deal right? Fox tried in vain to hail someone over the radio.

"MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY! WE NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY! ZULU CONVOY IS BEING HIT! UNITED STATES HVIs ARE ABOARD, SAY AGAIN! IMPORTANT FUCKING AMERICANS HERE!"

He tried it again twice more, but must have gotten no response. He threw the handset at the dashboard with a look of disgust.

"WE'RE FUCKED BOYS AND GIRLS! TO THE MAX!" he yelled.

I spotted some movement up closer. It was a bad guy about 60 meters out carrying yet another RPG into the fight. I shouldered my rifle, pulled it onto target and fired as fast as the trigger would let me. I watched as the rounds found their mark, but not before he acquired the lead truck and pulled the trigger. The rocket took flight and flew straight at Fox's vehicle, impacted the rear-passenger door and exploded in a bright flash. The big SUV lifted off the ground and rolled through the air, landing on Fox's legs and bringing an ungodly scream into his voice.

"COWBOY! HELP!"

I jumped up immediately and started the short run up to him. He screamed again and shouted for help.

"COWBOY! I NEED YOU TO-"

Unbeknownst to me, one of the enemies was a helluva shot. Or maybe just lucky. The Russian-made bullet zipped out of the hills, through the fading light and into my neck, exploding out of the other side in a vicious spray of blood. I staggered forward a little, and fell face first to the ground; the strength leaving my body as fast as my heart pushed blood from a severed Carotid artery. In seconds, I lost consciousness and everything went black.

No one really knows what death is like. People guess. They think they know about it from accounts of folks who were 'brought back' after being pronounced dead. My human physiology class taught me that your heart stopped pumping, your brain stopped getting oxygen and it slowly died. Like over the span of a minute or two. The 'lights' people see are explained away as hallucinations from an oxygen starved mind and random neurons firing, eliciting combinations of memories and sensations.

I was in pitch black. The feeling of falling asleep and your heart is in your throat and your stomach turned upside down and the smell of chicken-fried steak...

Yep.

I might not consciously realize it, but a 181-grain piece of lead cut me down like a weed. Visions of my life shimmered before my eyes.

My first love.

High School graduation.

A party with friends.

A fight with family.

A long forgotten boxing match in which I took a helluva beating.

Graduating college.

Joining the Army.

Hah, getting kicked out of the Army.

Fox's truck exploding.

I felt myself land softly on my feet and realized my eyes were closed. Opening them slowly, I immediately knew right where I was. I was back in Texas. I could see the Davis Mountains off in the distance. Home sweet home. The first think I really noticed though, was the sky. That huge Texas night sky; stars as far as the eye can see. I always liked looking up on a cloudless, moonless night out there in West Texas. The closest city was easily 50 miles away and that meant no light pollution. You could stand on a small mountain, look up and see everything. Shit, you could even see the Milky Way with no effort.

I found a bright star and focused on it. You could sometimes pick what looked like a star and focus. After you realize that you're actually looking at a cluster of stars, you try to look past and find more. So beautiful. Shit, it was majestic. I finally looked down at myself. My uniform was gone. My vest was gone. My rifle, my pistol, my gloves.. All gone. I was in my faded Levi's and Tony Llamas. Oh look, my favorite shirt! It was a simple, dark blue cotton shirt that I loved to wear. I was in a comfortable bliss. Looking back up, I saw a short meteor shower. A dozen little streaks traced white lines across the sky. It was a quick reminder of the firefight I had just experienced and I retreated to another time back in my childhood. When was the last time I wished on a falling star? Aloud, I gazed at the heavens and asked:

"I wish... I wish I went to a world where there was peace. A place where a man could make a life without worrying about being killed for pocket change or a silly ideology. I wish I could just wake up and be there. I wish I could find peace in this place." I gazed at the sky just a little longer. I watched as a bright star, I'm not sure which one, winked at me and faded out of existance. My eyebrow raised.

"Huh."

Another winked out. And another. They started disappearing by the dozens, hundreds, thousands until the night was black and I couldn't see a thing. A rough jerk somewhere in my stomach caused a queasy feeling to develop, then the feeling of falling again. I screwed my eyes shut and held on... well, to nothing.

I felt like I fell for hours. Just a constant feeling of downward motion pushing around my insides. Gradually, I felt warmer. Like the sun was on my back. A breeze began to blow softly, at first, then it slowly picked up and began howling in my ears. Oh, this felt familiar.

Airborne School. My first jump out of an airplane.

I cracked my eyelids open and saw the Earth rushing up to meet me. My eyes snapped completely open in a panic as I realized I wasn't wearing a parachute. I reflexively reached for the handle of a reserve chute anyways, but when I came up empty handed, I realized I was screwed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I impacted the ground with a solid thud and the world went black again.