Breathtaking

"Helloooooo? Is anyone hoooome? Jooooohn, I have something for youuuu!" Rarity called from the front step. It had been a long couple of days for me on account of I refused to get out of bed when Fluttershy was around. When I heard Rarity's voice, my heart lept into my throat. Oh, thank Jesus.

I jumped out of the bed, taking the sheets and wrapping them securely around my waist. I streaked for the front door, wrenched it open and pulled Rarity inside quickly.

"OH MAN, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE! ITS BEEN HELL!"

"Wha--" She began before I grasped her in a huge bear-hug.

"I've been stuck in bed since you left!"

"You really must come to terms with the fact that everyone is naked here, darling."

"Not the same."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Rarity shrugged off her saddlebags. In one side were four pairs of blue jeans and some socks, in the other were four pairs of shorts and the shirts I asked for.

"I took great care in pre-stressing these pants so they would feel right... Go ahead, try them on."

Now, with a pair of boxers covering my nakedness, I reached for the slightly faded counterfeit Levi's. Wouldn't you know, they fit like a charm. I tried out the socks too. Perfect. And the shirt? Like I just bought it off the rack.

"Rarity. Did I ever tell you that you're amazing? Because guess what? You're amazing." I told her, every note as sincere as the last.

"Yes yes, well you haven't even come CLOSE to seeing the best piece. Your suit is still in my boutique. One of these days, you will have to come by and see it." She said slyly.

"Miss Rarity! You tryin' to lure me into your home and never let me leave?" That evoked a laugh.

"Ha! Well the thought had crossed my mind. You are what many around here would consider a catch."

"Yeah, that's what Fluttershy was sayin'. Guess I oughta get used to the idea of gorgeous mares hitting on me, hmm?" I said with a smile.

"Oh, you!" She grinned and hit me playfully, but her face and tone changed to concern. "How much longer do you plan to stay hidden like this?"

I had to think for a moment. I honestly didn't think much of even going into town. Fluttershy's cottage was perfect. I could be her live-in help for as long as she needed me. That being said, I didn't feel right. I was pretty much being a mooch, taking advantage of her free care... food... shelter. I needed to get out from underhoof so to speak.

"I don't know, hun... What do you think I should do? I don't have any money. I don't have a job to make money. I don't have a place of my own. I'm kinda at a loss for what to do."

She paused. "... Let me think for a while. In the meantime, you have your clothes, so do what it was you wanted to help Fluttershy with. We'll figure this out."

With a crisp salute and perfect about-face, I marched off outside to start work on the fences and buildings. Rarity followed me to the pile of tools and supplies Fluttershy kindly gathered for me over the last couple of days.

"Well, chica... What do I take care of first?" Rarity looked at me quizzically.

"What did you call me?" I paused and thought.

"Oh damn, I'm sorry. Another language from my world. I don't speak it very well, pero se un poco espanol."

"It sounds like the language they speak in Maredrid. You fascinate me, John Marshall."

Shrugging slightly and wondering how in the world languages are created like this, I picked up a can of paint and started towards the house. The cottage itself didn't need anything but a little touch up, but where it did, the paint was chipping and falling off badly. Regardless, the walls didn't take much longer than half an hour or so. The problem came when dealing with the chimney. Climbing up there in cowboy boots would be difficult enough without a ladder, staying UP THERE was going to be a different problem altogether. Luckily, Rarity was still there. The unicorn. With magic. Perfect.

"Hey, did I ever tell you how awesome you are?" I said, being painfully obvious that I needed help.

"Only twice today. What do you want?"

"Lift me up there for a couple minutes?" I gave her a big smile, but she shuddered.

"Look, first of all, stop that. Its... Unsettling. Your teeth... they are very intimidating. Second, you will have to tell me I'm "awesome" quite a bit more than just in passing for me to do you such a favor. These things do take effort, you know?" Ok ok... the predator can't bare his teeth... sure sure.

"Please? When I become rich and famous throughout Equestria I'll invite you to all the social functions... You could be my arm candy!"

"Oh please. I am above such superficial duties."

"Ok, Miss High Class. I'll be your arm candy then. Whenever. Just ask and I'll show show up with bells on." She laughed.

"I haven't a clue what bells will accomplish, but I suppose that is acceptable."

Using her magic to lift me to the roof and move me around the chimney, Rarity made the chimney painting a hundred times quicker (and safer) than it would have been. Slowly lowering me to the ground, she released the spell and stood dazed for a moment.

"Oh my, that took more out of me than I thought it would. How much do you WEIGH?"

"Just a hundred and eighty pounds. Why? Too heavy?" She shook her head and blinked, trying to shake away dizziness.

"Whoa. John, a little assistance if you please." I jogged forward to catch Rarity before she fell. Bending over, I put my arms around her to carry her insi- WHOA! With a slight grunt and shaky legs, I carried the surprisingly heavy mare inside. Throwing her on the bed I normally slept in, my muscles screamed with relief.

"No offense, darlin', but remind me not to try that again unless I absolutely have to. I don't think I could do it with a larger pony if I tried."

"Humans must not be very strong creatures if you can't handle little ole me." she said with a smirk.

"Oh, we're strong. Just not in the same ways." I said with a wink. "I'm gonna head outside and start workin' on Fluttershy's shed." Mentioning the shed brought forth a frightened look from Rarity.

"Did she say it was alright?!" She asked. "Normally, she tells everyone to stay out!" I shrugged.

"She knows I'm fixing a hole in the south wall and part of the roof. I'm sure she won't mind if I head inside." Rarity shuddered.

"Look, just be CAREFUL. I've only been around it a couple of times, and both times it either gave me the shivers or I smelled... I don't know what I smelled, but it was horrible." Rarity ended with another shudder. I was starting to worry about the contents of the shed, myself. If a pony had such horrible thoughts, well they couldn't be blatantly false could they?

"I'll be careful. Get some rest." She looked worried.

"Please come back in one piece? I may need my hoof candy soon."

I started out towards the shed, making sure I had all of my tools. I took a saw, hammer, nails and a couple of long two-by-sixes to replace the boards I would have to rip out and set them down just a few yards away before I smelled it. God DAMN, Rarity wasn't kidding. Once you've smelled rotting... well, rotting ANYTHING, you don't forget. Its a distinct smell, like weed or burning hair. The smell emanating from Fluttershy's shed was nothing short of death. It had to be. I approached with trepidation, the hair rising on the back of my neck and my stomach doing nervous flips.

What in the hell was she doing in there? Why would she be keeping anything DEAD? Why would she want her friends to stay out of the shed I was about to go into? These thoughts raced through my head before my imagination ran wild. She's one of those crazy ass axe murderers that looks fuckin' innocent on the outside, but secretly they've been taking tramps home with them and chopping them up to sate their thirst for blood, oh dear JESUS why was I going in there still?!

Slowly I reached for the doorknob. Holding it for a few seconds, I finally gained the nerve to throw open the door. There was no lighting, but bright shafts of sunlight fell through the gaps in the roof. I nearly heaved up my lunch when the full force of the smell was unleashed from the structure. Half a dozen rotting deer carcasses hung from various hooks in the ceilling. They were recently cleaned and dressed like a hunter would before he threw them in his freezer.

"Oh my holy fucking Chri-"

"Oh my... I didn't mean for you to see that." said a small voice behind me. Panicking, I spun around and threw myself against the wall. There she was. An embarrassed smile on her face with an axe in her mouth. I knew it. Holy shit, she was gonna kill me!

"Listen, Fluttershy... I'm really sorry. I don't know what to... say? OH DEAR SWEET JESUS DON'T KILL ME!" Her face went from embarrassment to shock... to laughing. I knew it, that filly was gonna butcher me like a-

"Oh John, I'm not going to hurt you. You didn't let me finish."

YEAH. I HEARD THAT BEFORE. THAT'S WHAT JACK NICHOLSON SAID BEFORE HE WENT APESHIT, TOO.

"The families of these poor deer donated them to me." Wait what? "They were sick or old and died in the forest. Their families told me that they wanted to be given back to nature, so I keep them here. There are so many orphaned cougars, and hungry bears that needed food, I felt it would be a good idea to keep them and bring them out as needed."

I froze... "Th-then what are you doing with the axe?!"

"Oh! I'm sorry... I just thought I would bring it for you so you could cut up a few trees. There are a couple of fallen oaks out there we can stash away for firewood later on."

Well, now I just felt stupid. Of course this pony wasn't an evil axe-murderer.

"Uhh.. Thanks, I guess."

"Umm.. Your clothes are very nice. Is Rarity still here?"

"In the house. Check my bed."

"Oh... Oh my goodness!" I facepalmed "NOT LIKE THAT, FLUTTERSHY." She just laughed as she trotted to go see her friend.

Still shaking from the shock to my system, I closed the shed door and moved to the back. Replacing these boards was going to be easy as pie, but I couldn't think of food with the smell as it was. With the incentive of fresh air soon, I hurried through the work and put as much distance between myself and the hanging venison as I could.

A couple days later and the trees were cut, the house was painted, the shed was fixed and the fences were mended. All that remained was the chicken coup. Thinking ahead, I built the walls and roof on the ground first. That way, I didn't have to assemble anything while being up high. Rarity came by to visit again. I could swear that pony just came by to watch me work, but I knew she was too much of a lady for something like that.

I was in the process of putting up the new walls for the chicken house, when I noticed a lone cloud in the sky. That wasn't there before... I thought to myself. A few more moments of observation awarded me a glimpse at a hint of rainbow against the blue. Another pegasus like Fluttershy, this one with a light blue coat and multicolored mane and tail. I turned back to my work. If its up there, its already seen me. This is it.

I started to nail the braces to keep the walls standing, but kept my eyes roving.. Yep.. still there. After a few minutes, I took my eyes off the cloud for half a second and it was gone. Well shit... here it goes. Shaking my head and driving in another nail I didn't notice the blue pegasus fly into Fluttershy's cottage. Once I heard raised voices, I stopped to listen.

"WHAT IS THAT THING DOING OUT THERE!?"

"Rainbow Dash, calm down!"

"CALM DOWN MY FLANK! HALF OF PONYVILLE IS LOOKING FOR IT!"

I heard some inaudible sounds. Most likely Fluttershy's soft voice trying to get the mare to calm down.

"YOU GUYS ARE HARBORING A MONSTER! Twilight's gotta know about this."

"PLEASE, RAINBOW DASH! LISTEN TO US!"

Without further words, the rainbow-maned pegasus shot out of a side window, making a beeline straight for me. I couldn't even think of trying to knock her out of the air, she was so fast.

"Cat's out of the bag NOW, ya monster!" She stuck her tongue out and took off like a shot towards town. Rarity and Fluttershy came out to find me, both with worried looks on their faces. Fluttershy was the first to speak.

"Oh John, I'm so sorry. I should have tried harder to get her to listen." I hung my head.

"Fluttershy, its fine. You didn't do a thing wrong. I'm just glad I got a chance to finish the chores before I got carted away."

"Darling, if there's anything I can do to help, please tell me." said Rarity. "I'm not what one would call a fair-weather friend, you know?"

I reached into my pocket for my lighter. I'll be damned if it was empty. Should have known that wasn't going to last much longer.

"Well, darlin', can you magic me up some fire so I can light this?" I said, withdrawing a smoke from my boot. Rarity focused her magic until sparks erupted from her horn. Touching it to the tip of my cigarette, it ignited quickly.

"Thanks, hun." Pondering what would happen next, I couldn't help but think to go on the run... But where would I go? No, it was time to stand and take it. I have two new friends now that can vouch for me and hopefully make it a little easier on me. It wasn't like I was set for execution, right? From the looks of things, the ponies around here were probably too nice to think of lethal injection.

"Ladies... It was fun." Fluttershy shook her head and took flight.

"I'm going to try to talk to them before they get back. Maybe if I explain some things, they won't be so apprehensive." Good idea. Can't hurt, right? I sat calmly, watching Fluttershy disappear over the cottage, heading towards town. Rarity looked back at me.

"You know, this is going to turn out right, don't you?" I looked at her; confused about what she meant. "You still haven't gotten a chance to see your new suit." I smiled and jumped off the hen house to get comfortable on the grass. Rarity came over and sat next to me.

"Pants and all, huh?"

"Yes, of course. Pants and all. I daresay those boots of yours would go well with it if you put a little shine on them."

"Well, one of these days I guess we'll have to find out. You know, if the town doesn't have me drawn and quartered for scaring the tar outta them." She laughed.

"Oh, I don't think it would be all that bad. Twilight is a dear friend of mine. She's also not one to just jump to irrational conclusions about what or who you are."

"What, you mean like you did? Or Fluttershy did? Or even Rainbow Dash for that matter? I mean shit, look at me. If I smile, y'all get the shivers. Everything about me is strange to this world. Could you blame them if they didn't listen?" She thought for a second.

"Well, I know the truth. It might not count for much at the moment, but I do." She nuzzled my head reassuringly. "Besides, you'll be granted an audience with the princesses for sure after everyone relaxes a little, I'm sure of it. They'll be just as curious as the next pony to find out just where you came from and how you got here." That might not be too bad, really. "Hah, and if it goes better than you're expecting I can show you around the town. Perhaps you might meet some eligible bachelorettes, hmm?" She said with a wink. I just wanted to change the subject. And fast.

"Haha, thanks doll. I figure you can help me beat 'em off with a stick, how about that? Hey, how much time do you think we have before they show up?"

"Half an hour. Twilight will want Applejack to come as well. As for Pinkie Pie, who knows?" Standing up, I offered my hand to her in assistance.

"Well, let's see if we can't get the new roof on the chicken coup at the very least. Its not like I can leave the job half finished, right?" Accepting my hand and smiling, Rarity stood up and helped me finish the last bit of the work. Stepping back so to see take in the full effect, I asked Rarity what she thought.

"So? Not too shabby, eh?" She was thinking. Hard.

"It still needs something. AHA! IDEAAA!!!" Before I could say anything in reply, she ran for the house and disappeared. I started to think she wasn't coming back when I heard the hoofsteps behind me.

"What do ya got for me, hun? Gonna beautify this chicken house in ways I've never seen?" I heard a throat clear and a voice behind me speak in an accent not that different from my own.

"Feller, you move a muscle and I'll buck you into next season."

Oh.... Shit. Slowly rotating around, I was greeted with a startling sight. Rainbow Dash, an orange pony with a stetson I had never seen before and the lavender unicorn that was sat in my hospital room were all standing in Fluttershy's yard. The yellow pegasus herself was nowhere to be seen. She probably didn't even get a chance to talk to them.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle." said the purple mare. "If you decide to come with us on your own, I won't have to make you."

Well, there goes my plan for the afternoon.