Time Turner's Discordian Detective Agency: The Panther of the Bluebloods

Chapters

Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening
Chapter 2: The Model City
Chapter 3: Questions and More Questions
Chapter 4: The Best Stakeout Ever
Chapter 5: Stallions of Letters
Chapter 6: Nightmare Falls
Chapter 7: Mass Hysteria
Chapter 8: Apocryphal Fabrication
Chapter 9: Break for Day
Chapter 10: Thou Cretin
Epilogue: No Escaping the Pink
Princess Luna's Foreword

Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening

It was the dream, again.

I found myself in the gardens of the royal palace in Canterlot. The hedges and bushes are just as they were when I came here on a school field trip. It was also the closest thing to a field that we actually visited. Still, the real gardens should look different after a decade or so of attention.

I wandered aimlessly, no matter what route I took I would always end up in the same place and in front of the same statue. I never learned its name or whatever it represented but whatever my life had in store for me changed when I touched it and it spoke to me.

The sun was low in the sky – as usual – and the Statue was the last one bathed in the evening light. The Statue itself was made from a mixture of parts to form a chimera locked in the midst of a dance. It was an unusual sight, I always noticed new details of it’s construction every time I saw it.

“Are you bored?” It asked as I approached.

“Yes,” I answered testily. “Yes I am. This is the same dream I’ve had a thousand times before.” I glared up at it’s stony face. “You’re going to say, ‘Cheer up little colt, I’m sure you’ll live in interesting times.’ Like you always do and I’ll wake up in my big comfortable bed.”

“Cheer up little colt,” It said as its stone head turned to look at me. “I’m sure you’ll come to the attention of important ponies.”

I froze, “What? Hang on, you don’t break script in this deam.”

“Well that sounds too predictable for me,” it joked and broke into laughter. Its entire body twisting with merriment as the dream world around me tore itself apart. I stood staring at it as discordant notes filled the air around me.

I woke with a start, gasping briefly as adrenalin shot through my body. I cracked my neck and yawned. I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep anytime soon so I decided to get moving.

I loosened myself out of the grip of the mare sharing my bed, not easily either, separating myself from the four limbs wrapped around me. Lucky Catch was always the clingy type. Once I slipped out of my bed and onto the floor she reached out to hold me again. I stood up and put a pillow between her legs for her to hug instead.

I crept out of the bedroom down the hallway and into my bathroom. Once I was inside I shut the door and did what everypony does first thing in the morning, emptied my bladder.

Last night had been interesting; Lucky Catch had come down to Ponyville from Canterlot to see me again and help celebrate the second anniversary of my arrival in Ponyville. It also coincided with the second anniversary of our “relationship”, such as it was.

To celebrate I’d opened a small cask of cider that I ordered from Sweet Apple Acres months prior. I’d paid nearly twice what it was worth for the privilege of being able to “pre-order it” before Pinkie Pie could drain the entire supply and I could set it aside in my basement to ferment. Alcohol was still banned in Equestria so it became one of my many secrets. When Applejack asked me a few days later about how it had tasted I had to lie to her face. Of course the living lie detector saw right through my dishonesty immediately and warned me not to sell it to anypony else or she’d never let me have another cup.

As you might imagine the alcoholic cider went to some good use last night. We didn’t drink all of it either, I planned to save the rest of it for the Summer Sun Celebration in a few days. It was the first time Ponyville had been selected to host the event and I planned to celebrate it properly. Catch planned to stay the extra few days and took time off from work so she could join me.

My business with last night’s cider concluded, I checked my appearance in the mirror: dark tan coat, hourglass cutie mark and my mane was still spiky in the way that only pillows could achieve properly.

I trotted out of my bathroom and peaked around my bedroom door. Lucky Catch was still wrapped around the pillow with her curly mane covering her face. I closed the door quietly and went downstairs.

The front room of my house, where I received most of my guests, is filled with clocks. Most are pendulum based with a few more that require winding every few months. These clocks are a necessary part of the act I put on for Ponyville’s residents, where I’m known as the resident timekeeper.

With a name like “Time Turner” and an hourglass on my flank it’s only natural that I’m charged with keeping the town’s clocks running on time. Truth be told that’s only one of my jobs and it’s also the only one that goes on my tax return.

The position of “timekeeper” is a sinecure: a job that requires little to no work and serves as a cover for my real job, I am Time Turner the Discordian Detective. After a dangerous case two years ago when marefia thugs attempted to attack me in my own office I decided to lay low in Ponyville.

It’s quiet, a great place to live and everypony knows everypony else. That means anypony who follows me here with the intent to hurt me will stick out like an orange in an apple orchard. Unsurprisingly I decided I liked it here and made it my permanent home. I simply travel back to Canterlot whenever somepony requests my services.

As for what a Discordian Detective does, the answer is in the basement where Lucky Catch found me a few minutes later. Down here is my “Mystery Room” where the walls are covered with notes, newspaper clippings and pictures. This is where I track discord and disharmony. In our harmonious world any misdeed or strange event leaves a chaotic “ripple” in the underlying harmony. Following these signs of chaos will generally lead me to whatever I need to find, thus “Discordian Detective”. Lucky Catch came down to find me studying one of my oldest notes: “Beware the Panther”.

“Timey Whimey,” she asked using my pet name. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“It was just a bad dream, didn’t want to wake you,” I reassured with my focus remaining on my wall.

“‘Interesting Times’ again?” Despite previous attempts to hide my troubles from her, Catch had quickly caught onto my dream problems. It’s fairly easy when I talk in my sleep.

“It was, ‘You’ll come to the attention of important ponies’ this time.” She paused for moment, time that I spent contemplating the words myself.

“What does that mean?” she asked, as clueless as I was.

“It’s the first time ‘It’ changed the script, so it means something.” Then I added, “Celestia buck me if I know what it means.”

There was a resounding series of bangs from upstairs, three knocks and a pause before they came again. Catch glanced at one of the ever present clocks.

“It’s four-thirty in the morning, why would somepony be at your door at this hour?”

“Let’s go find out,” I murmured as I started upstairs.

It was still another hour or so before Celestia was due to raise the sun and it was still dark outside, figures. I turned on a lamp, unlocked my front door and opened it to reveal the pair standing on my front porch.

My first thought was, oh Tartarus, they found me. Followed by, I should have expected the Equestrian Internal Revenue Inquisition.

A pair of royal guards-ponies stood outside my door in the lamp light. You know what they look like, everypony knows. It’s called a uniform for a reason: White coats, gold armour, stony expression.

“Are you the earth pony known as ‘Time Turner’?” the one on the left demanded.

“The EIRS has no reason to wake me so early in the morning. I paid my taxes on time, in full and this house is not too expensive for my declared income when I had to rebuild it myself.”

These were all outright lies, I “forgot” to declare my earnings from my job as a detective and I was only taxed for the meagre wage of a timekeeper. The house was paid for with a lump sum of cash the Marefia “misplaced”. Naturally the EIRS have been asking questions about how I could afford it.

“Sir we are not here on behalf of the EIRS…” the one on the right began.

Thank you Celestia, I thought to myself.

“… but I must now ask why you were expecting the EIRS to wake you this early in the morning.”

it’s too early in the morning for this. I sighed, “alright, let’s try this again, reset.”

Time froze and began to flow backwards to a point before I had opened the door and annoyed a pair of royal guards. The ability to turn back time by short periods is my special talent. Few ponies know about it and the only clue to it is in my name; “Time Turner”. It’s a wonderful ability that helps me avoid all those silly mistakes we all make and for winning card games—I didn’t pay tax on my last trip to Los Pegasus either.

It might sound awesome, but it’s nothing compared to what I’ve seen Pinkie Pie do (1). The reset only goes back forty two seconds at most so it’s not like I’m traveling throughout time and space. Well, not yet anyway.

Where was I? Oh yes, the door. Two guards, check.

“Are you the earth pony known as ‘Time Turner’?” the one on the left demanded.

“Yes, it is 4:30 in the morning, did your clock break? I can fix in half an hour,’ I offered.

“Sir?” he asked.

“Time Turner, I’m Ponyville’s resident timekeeper. It’s now 4:31 AM.”

“We understood that Time Turner the Discordian Detective could be found here.”

My eyes narrowed, “and if you found him?”

“We are here on behalf of a noble of the royal court,” the one on the right grunted.

“Appointments are made by mail, addressed to my post box, in Canterlot.”

“The situation required an immediate personal meeting.”

“Then I’ll meet said noble in Canterlot tomorrow,” I finished, preparing to slam the door in their faces.

“I am already here, commoner,” said a cultured male voice. The owner stepped dramatically out of the shadows and into the light. There was a gasp from behind me as Lucky Catch threw herself onto the ground in front of the noble pony.

“Prince Blueblood, we are honoured by your presence,” she grovelled.

You will come to the attention of important ponies, I thought as I remembered the statue’s words. I really hate it when that thing’s right.

We sat down in my front room. Catch and I sat on my sofa while Blueblood claimed my favourite chair. Silence ruled the room as Blueblood refused to speak until his guards had checked every room in my house and swept my front room for eavesdropping enchantments.

I was not happy with this intrusion on my private life. A lot of time and bits went into ensuring that I would be difficult to find, yet Blueblood managed to find me so quickly. This sort of thing was setting off alarm bells off in my head. I was well hidden, either Blueblood was desperate enough to spend a lot of bits to uncover my tracks or the authorities knew more about me then they should.

After we spent several minutes sitting in the uncomfortably silent room the pair of Royal Guards returned to their lord, taking up places on either side of him.

“All clear sir,” the one on the left announced.

Blueblood nodded, “Good, now we can begin.” He used his magic to levitate a folder out of his coat and placed it on the coffee table between us. “I trust everything said here will be held in the strictest confidence. If any word of this gets out I will make sure nopony in Equestria will ever deal with you again.” The threat was delivered calmly and without menace, he wasn’t kidding.

“Of course,” I replied. “That’s the golden rule after all. I wouldn’t be a very good private detective if I didn’t keep things private.” It wasn’t really a golden rule, more of a guideline, but if leaked the secrets I knew I’d get a bad reputation. In any case, I doubt somepony could outbid the Prince for the price of my discretion.

“I would like you to take an oath to that effect,” he demanded, “both you and your assistant.” Catch perked up at that, I think she liked the idea of being my assistant. She was involved now so I might as well take her along on this one.

“Of course,” I replied. “I’d even be willing to pinkie swear.”

“Excuse me?” Blueblood asked

“Local expression, it means a lot around here (2).”

“You will keep this in confidence then.”

“I swear to hold this discussion and what follows in confidence, except where breaking said confidence is necessary to act on your behalf.” The prince’s eyes narrowed at my oath. I always make sure to include a loophole.

“I swear to follow the same,” Lucky Catch added after I finished.

The Prince released his hold on the folder and let it fall on my coffee table. I opened it to find fuzzy out-of-focus pictures of what appeared to be a large black cat.

“Missing cat?” I asked. “I’ll be able to find it quickly enough. It wouldn’t be the first time (3).” Catch giggled as she remember that adventure as well.

“That ‘cat’ is an ancient legend,” Blueblood said.

“The picture doesn’t look ancient,” Catch observed.

Blueblood glared at Catch until she withered back in the seat and shut up. “This picture was taken two days ago, I believe it to be the ‘Panther of the Bluebloods’.” He paused, clearly expecting some form of surprised gasp from one of us. When neither of us recognised the name he muttered “peasants” before explaining, “The panther is a legendary beast that has been associated with my family. That creature was responsible for the death of Prince Blueblood the fourth over a thousand years ago.”

Intrigued I leaned forward, “So what does it want with you?”

“The… beast has been following me,” a note of fear slipped into his voice. “Each night for the past week it has followed me. At first it watched from a distance and I considered it to merely be an illusion or the result of an upset stomach. But each night since it has gotten closer, it watches me through windows and follows me whenever I switch rooms. Even when I left Canterlot for my winter residence it was there waiting for me. I even suspect it’s outside this house right now.”

“Has anypony else seen it?”

“My guards have both witnessed it.” He indicated both of them as the one on the right was looking out a window onto the street.

“Have you told anypony else?”

“Who would believe me?” He snorted, “All I have is out of focus pictures and the word of two guards sworn to obey me. The royal guard refuses to investigate it, ‘a waste of resources with the approaching summer sun celebration’ they say.”

“So you came to me.”

“Auntie suggested that I come to you. She said you would believe what I paid you to believe and that you might be the right pony for the job.”

Auntie? I thought to myself, Last time I checked Blueblood doesn't have a living uncle or aunt, unless… sweet Celestia… he means Princess Celestia. No wonder he found me so fast.

I kept the surprise from my face, “so what do you want me to do?”

“Find out who or what is responsible for this, before it kills me.”

I nodded. “I accept, but before we get started there is one more thing to discuss.” I leaned forward. “I’m sure you’ll find my rates reasonable and fair.”

The Prince made to leave as quickly as he came, leaving my house before the sun rose again. When the time came I followed him and his escorts to the chariot outside.

The prince pointed down the street. “Believe me now?” he mounted his chariot quickly as his guards hitched themselves while I was focused on what was down the street.

The Panther, it sat patiently at the end of the road watching the Prince. It was a smokey black colour that never seemed to sit still as if were just a puff of smoke in an odd shape. I turned to see the Prince’s chariot take off, departing Ponyville with nopony the wiser of his visit. Turning back to look at the panther I saw that it had disappeared as well.

I returned inside to find Lucky Catch still sitting on my sofa staring at the bag of bits in front of her. The Prince had been desperate and all too willing to part with the large amount of bits I’d specified for the pair of us, even promising to pay for any expenses we might incur.

The sound of the front door closing behind me brought Catch out of her trance. She looked at me and gave me a grin. “So I’m your assistant now?”

“I suppose so, provided that Blueblood keeps paying for you.”

“This is so exciting. It’s been ages since we’ve had a chance to work together.” She clapped her hooves and I returned a smile back at her, even though I didn’t really mean it.

“We’ll have to catch the early train to Canterlot, but first we need breakfast.” I led the way out the front door and locked it behind us.

There is only one place in Ponyville where breakfast is available before the sun rises: Sugar Cube Corner. Most bakeries start early in the morning to make sure their treats are ready for hungry ponies that rise with Celestia, and the Cakes are no exception. There’s another reason I go to Sugar Cube Corner on early mornings, yesterday’s stock is available for half price.

As I opened the door to the bakery I was hit with a wave of bakery-ness: the smell of bread and treats that were baking in the ovens, the heat coming from the kitchen and finally the wave of chaos known locally as Pinkie Pie.

“Hey Time Turner, you’re up early, which is strange for you because you tend to sleep in, even though you’re all about time and being on time. So that means something got you out of bed early, is it another mysterious trip to Canterlot? Or did you have one of those bad dreams again?” She paused with a smile waiting patiently for an answer. After living in Ponyville for a while you get used to Pinkie’s jabbering.

“Both actually, Pinkie. Do you have any muffins today?”

“Uh-huh, which is really unusual because Ditzy usually gets them all and… oh hi there, Lucky Catch, it’s good to see you back in Ponyville. Did you want another party?” During Pinkie’s chatter Lucky Catch had placed herself between me and the party pony.

“Oh it’s fine… uh… Pinkie, I had a party in Canterlot and I’m sure you’re busy with the Summer Sun coming up.”

“Oh yeah, we’re baking sooo many goodies for the all-night party. It’s going to be supertasticly amazing.”

Before either of the girls could say anything further, I leaned over my obstructive marefriend to order my breakfast from Pinkie. “Pinkie, can we get a cheese scroll and a muffin each. I’ll also have a large cup of coffee.”

“Okie-dokie-loki,” Pinkie replied before disappearing off to the kitchens.

Still leaning over Catch I steered her toward one of the tables where we took our seats while we waited for Pinkie to return.

“So,” Catch started to ask, “they sell coffee here… is that why she was like that?”

“Actually no, that was just Pinkie being Pinkie. I actually checked to see if her ‘pinkieness’ was coffee related but it turns out that she doesn’t like it, it’s too bitter for her tastes.”

“So, how friendly is she toward you?” Catch asked in a blatant attempt to scope out the ‘competition’.

“She’s friends with everypony,” I replied and Catch seemed to relax a little. In the game of love the competition between mares for a stallion was always high, and Catch played to win.

Pinkie soon returned with our order, bouncing up to the table with four pastry bags hanging in her mouth and a coffee cup balancing precariously on her head. Keeping that cup balanced on her head as she bounced toward us was only one of the minor impossibilities Pinkie performed on a daily basis.

I paid her with bits from Blueblood’s advance and took note of the cost so I could add it to the expenses list I’d issue the prince later.

“So,” I began to ask Catch between mouthfuls of pastry. “Do you think you can help me deal with this Panther?”

“You actually believe the Prince?” Catch asked.

“And you don’t? You were so eager to bow toward him earlier.” I chided with a smile. “So now you doubt him.”

“I…uh… he’s the prince and he’s such a fetching stallion. But this Panther can’t actually be real, It’s a legend like vamponies or Ahuizotl.” Catch meant well but she could be so wrong sometimes; legends have a nasty habit of turning out to be true.

“So he’s better looking than me?” I teased. She’d been fixated on me for so long I was beginning to think I’d never get her to look at anypony else.

“Yes, but you already have me, Timey. I’m not going anywhere.” She finished with one of her more seductive smiles. “I was going to wait until the summer sun celebration, but since we’re going to miss it I’ll just ask you now.” The alarm bells in my mind began to ring.

Catch leaned forward across the table and what was left of our breakfast to look into my eyes. “Time Turner, will you marr—“

“Reset!”

“—just a legend like vamponies or Ahuizotl,” Catch finished her earlier statement as the reset finished.

I killed my retort before I could say it. Catch had been trying to propose to me for the last year or so and she was getting more brazen as time went on.

“Well, about that panther…”

“What about it?” she asked.

“Could you do anything with it?” I asked mainly because Catch is a veterinary nurse and pets were her special talent.

“I’m only good with tame and domesticated pets. A wild animal like a panther wouldn’t listen to me.”

That was a shame, this would be much easier if we could just march right up to the thing and just tell it to go away. Thankfully the topic shift put her safely into non matrimonial territory. The only thing that was close to me on Catch’s obsession list was pets and it was my best weapon in defending my bachelorhood.

Not that I don’t like her. She’s a wonderful mare with a kind demeanour that can switch to fiery temper on a moment’s notice, with associated acts of directed violence. Our first and second meetings were both acts of random – or chaotic – coincidence that led her to believe that our meeting was destined by fate. Considering how sadistically brilliant fate can be, she might just be right.

Pinkie Pie came back out of the kitchen a moment later looking confused. “Hmm, my hooves got all dancy. That usually means that somepony has just done something that needs a party, but now it feels like it didn’t happen somehow.” Pinkie paused for a moment to think before bursting back into her normal bubbly self and bounced back into the kitchen singing a tune.

Catch turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised, “What was that all about?”

I shrugged and just said, “Its Pinkie Pie.” Privately I planned to add another entry to her file. Pinkie’s twitches can predict events prevented by reset. Evidence suggests predicted events can be prevented but short lead time will probably make that difficult. Perhaps this is proof of freewill in the games of fate and destiny?

A slurping sound broke me from my thoughts. I looked back at Catch to find her slurping the last of my coffee out of my cup with my straw. She looked guilty for a moment before she tried to talk her way out of it. “You shouldn’t let yourself get distracted,” she chided with a smile. ”Anyway if Pinkie is as crazy as you say then trying to understand her will just drive you mad.”

“So let me get this straight, I’m a timekeeper with a secret life outside this town in which I’m a detective who solves mysteries using the intricate balance of chaos and harmony in events of the world around me. I routinely cheat at cards, my cutie mark is a paradox and somehow studying Ponyville’s Premier Party Pony is going to make me even more insane?”

Lucky Catch considered this for a minute and then asked, “Your cutie mark is a paradox?”

“Ask me about it sometime.” I stood up and stretched. “Let’s get going, we have a train to catch.”

Catch nodded and slid out of her seat, stretching her own legs as she stood on her hooves. As we moved toward the exit Pinkie Pie bounced out of the kitchen with a large bag in her mouth.

“Hey Turner, here’s some extra muffins for your trip to Canterlot,” she said somehow speaking clearly through the bag in her mouth.

I took the bag and put it in one of my saddlebags.“Thanks Pinkie, how much do I owe you?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just something to help keep a smile on your face during the train ride.” She gave me a wide smile and added, “When you get back I’ll throw you a super awesome spectacular pinkie party to help you celebrate.”

I raised an eyebrow and smiled, “celebrate what, Pinkie?”

“Oh you’ll see,” she returned with a wink and went back to the kitchen.

Catch gave me a bemused look, “Any guesses to what she meant by that?”

“Nope, in that way lies madness,” I admitted with a chuckle as we both began to make our way towards my house to prepare for my return to Canterlot.

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Pinkie Pie remains a mystery to everypony. Even to Time Turner who hast spent much of his time in Ponyville observing and recording observations about her. Despite his efforts and a significant section of the “Mystery Room”, he remains little more enlightened than Twilight Sparkle on the matter.

(2) We doubt Time Turner would actually allow himself to be bound by a Pinkie Promise. It’s more likely to be enforced.

(3)Time Turner is referring to a previous case he calls: “The Missing Kitten of Inspiration” during which he located Rarity’s lost cat, Opalescence.

Chapter 2: The Model City

Canterlot: The shining centre of Equestria, the pride of the Princess and an example for all.

If you’re just a tourist passing through it might seem that way. I prefer to think of it as the City of Sycophants. Everypony is trying to impress their ‘betters’ by scamming, cheating and bribing their way to the top. On the other hoof, all that ambition and greed did help make my bank account larger. In Canterlot you take what you can get.

The journey on the morning service of the Friendship Express was uneventful, so I used it as an opportunity to take a nap. The train arrived at Canterlot Station an hour or so before noon where we disembarked and immediately set off toward the royal palace.

As we travelled down Palace Boulevard my loyal marefriend brought me back up to speed on the current events in Equestria’s capital. There was little I considered relevant beyond the preparation for the Summer Sun Celebration in two days, a major event was planned for the citizens and a smaller more formal affair was set aside for the nobility.

“Let me guess,” I said. “One’s being run by Vinyl and the other is being run by Octavia.” a fair guess when considering those two mares.

“Actually Octavia is organizing the big party.” Catch replied, “I spoke to her last week about it. Octavia said that the Princess put Vinyl in charge, but she’s passed all the details to Octavia instead.”

“Typical Vinyl,” I said with a shake of my head. “Though I feel better about Octy running the celebration, instead of Vinyl making a mess of it,” I finished with a snort.

We passed a public notice board covered in posters announcing an all-night party on the eve of the summer sun celebration. The posters listed the Wonderbolts along with Vinyl Scratch as celebrity performers. ”I thought the Wonderbolts were performing in Ponyville,” I said as we passed the posters.

Catch giggled, “One of their members has a crush on Vinyl and Octavia promised that they could get time with her backstage if they performed. So a squad of them are staying in Canterlot while the rest escort the Princess to Ponyville.”

“Which Wonderbolt has the crush on Vinyl?”

“Octavia wouldn’t say, but whoever it is will be disappointed when they find out Vinyl’s taken.”

I shook my head in amazement. “Oh dear, looks like Vinyl’s been a bad influence on Octavia if she’s doing that sort of thing.” I tilted my head back in thought, “Can’t argue with results though, Octy is probably the best pony for the job.”

“So why didn’t the Princess just give the job to Octavia directly then?” Catch asked.

“In a way she did. With the added bonus is that she doesn’t look like she’s favouring the pair, just Vinyl.” Catch gave me a quizzical look.

“It’s just another part of the political game,” I replied with a shrug. “The Princess is the reigning champion, with more than a millennium of advantage over anypony else (1).” I paused for a moment to consider the implications. “What’s the public opinion on their relationship,” I asked Catch, not bothering to name the pair I had in mind.

“Platonic,” Catch responded before she continued with a darker undertone. “The gossip magazines still list a ‘tan stallion’ as being Octavia’s secret coltfriend.” I helped Octavia with a few problems awhile ago and the final part of my ‘cunning plan’ was to ensure that her relationship with Vinyl stayed private. Although neither Vinyl or Catch were pleased with the method I used.

“Well perhaps we should pay them a visit again at some point. I’d love to see you buck Vinyl in the face again.” Catch’s mouth spread out into a grin.

As we were nearing the Royal Palace Lucky Catch had a sudden realization. “Timey, how are we going to get inside the Palace?”

“The Prince invited us, remember?”

“But he didn’t give us anything to show the guards.” Catch’s words brought me to a halt as I face hoofed, inwardly cursing my client. After a calming breath I looked ahead toward the palace gates, they were open and guarded by a pair of pegasi in gold armour.

“Alright, new plan.” I reached into my saddlebags and rummaged around for something official looking. In a corner under my magnifying glass I found an old letter bearing an official seal. I passed it to Catch while muttering, “hold this” and pulled out my old fedora. After flipping the old hat onto my head I took the letter back from Catch to see what it was. It was one of a dozen or so letters I had received from the Equestrian Internal Revenue Service, the tax ponies. I’ve spent a surprising amount of time over the last two years lying about how I managed to afford purchasing my house on a timekeeper’s almost non-existent salary. This letter was official enough for what I was planning.

“Follow, and let me do the talking,” I said to Catch. I walked towards the gates and their attendant guards, as I approached I held the letter open in my mouth and walked toward the guards.

“Press,” I announced in a terrible Manehatten accent. “Here’s to interview the Prince.” I didn’t give a chance to give the letter a closer look as I walked past, nor did they move to stop us. They either had orders to let press in, weren’t going to stop the prince’s guests, or they were simply asleep on their hooves with their eyes open.

We proceeded up through the gardens to the palace itself, where the doors were guarded by another pair of guards standing at attention. Despite their stance they looked even less attentive than the pair at the gates.

“Excuse me,” I asked a guard. “Where would we find the prince at this hour?”

Without missing a beat the guard responded, “In his drawing room, up the grand staircase on the left along the hall, 7th doorway on the right.”

“Thank you,” I responded and continued on.

As soon as we were out of earshot of the guards, Catch walked alongside me and spoke quietly in my ear. “Why didn’t they stop us?”

“The Royal Guards are mostly ceremonial trumpet players and carriage pullers. They’re just there to look good, not to actually guard anything.”

“But, what about the Princess, don’t they protect her?”

“I imagine her personal guard take their jobs seriously and try prevent anypony from annoying her.” I tilted my head in thought. “When you think about it the Princess can move the sun, anything that can actually threaten her is not going to be stopped by a few guards (2).”

“What about the Prince,” Catch asked, “Doesn’t he need to be protected as well?”

“Considering that they’re not doing anything about the Panther, I’m going to assume that the only guard ponies that actually care about him are his own personal body guards.”

As we walked the hallways of the palace, we both looked around in various states of amazement at the décor and architecture. Despite us both having lived in Canterlot for a good part of our lives, neither of us had actually been inside the palace.

The floor was marble, covered with red carpet that ran down the centre of the hallways. The walls were covered in the largest private collection of artwork in the world (3) and vast windows bathed every inch of the castle in sunlight. This wasn’t so much a palace so much as a temple to what ponies can achieve when they work together.

Eventually our impromptu tour came to a halt as we reached the door to the room where Blueblood was supposed to be hiding. I put my ear to it to listen for anypony who might be inside. Through the solid frame of the door I could hear a pair of voices talking, one sounded like the Prince. I gave the door rapid triple knock and waited for it to be answered.

The door was slowly opened and a small diamond dog stuck its head through the small gap in the door. There was a shout from inside and the dog’s pointed ears shot around in alarm at the noise. “Ruff, what have I told you about not allowing us to be interrupted!” The dog retreated from the doorway and I opened the door further to see who was yelling.

Beyond the doorway the dog was bowing before Prince Blueblood, who was loudly berating him. “Next time I ask for privacy, you will keep the door shut! Is that clear?”

“Yes master,” the dog begged. Blueblood turned and gave the prostrate dog a kick making it yelp in pain. Standing next to me, Lucky Catch echoed the dog’s yelp in shock at the prince’s behaviour. The Prince quickly realized he had an audience and turned his attention toward us.

“Detective Turner,” the prince recovered quickly. “it is so good of you to come to Canterlot so quickly. Please come in, we were just discussing our little problem.”

The Prince returned to his seat opposite a grey unicorn stallion with a blond mane, “This is Fabulator, he has been assisting me in this matter.” The grey unicorn gave me a nod as I took the seat opposite the pair of them as Lucky Catch joined me.

The double seat we had claimed was hard and tough. The Prince’s seat was undoubtedly tailored specifically for him, while his associate’s only a little less cushioned. In Canterlot Politics it’s all about the little things, uncomfortable chairs for guests was just another way for Blueblood to claim dominance.

“So, how did you manage to get past the guards Time Turner,” the Prince inquired politely, starting his little game.

“With a little difficulty,” I replied as neutrally as possible.

“It should be no difficulty at all with a letter of passage signed by myself.”

“Should I find a need, perhaps I would use it.”

The Prince’s eyes narrowed slightly. “And if you were representing me?”

“It would be better that nopony would know, your privacy is important,” I finished.

Fabulator started to laugh at the exchange. “Blueblood my friend, it seems you have found a skilled servant. Though I still doubt your need for him, I have faith that your guards are sufficient protection from your stalker.”

“Better that I find the cause Fab, if only for peace of mind.” Blueblood returned his attention to me. “I assume you have not yet found the reason behind my shadow. So why are you here then?”

“Investigating, I need to know more about the panther to find out why it is following you.”

Blueblood sat up in his seat. “I have found little more than myth and rumour. Nothing is certain beyond the death of my ancestor at its claws. All my attempts at finding out more has proved unfruitful, such was the point of hiring you.”

“Blueblood,” I began by intentionally avoiding his title. “Everything is connected in the underlying harmony, the answer you want me to find could be learned from anything if I knew the right question to ask.” I held up a hoof in a conciliatory gesture. “So Blueblood my next question is, who or what can answer my questions about the panther?”

Blueblood snorted. “That was absolute drivel, I’m paying you to find answers Time Turner, not questions. Since it was auntie’s advice to hire you, and since you are just as bad as she is, I’ll tell you what she’s told me: ‘If you want answers, find a teacher. If you want questions, find a student’.”

“Wise words, Blueblood,” Fabulator observed. “A shame that you find no meaning in them.” The grey unicorn gave the Prince a sly smile. “Celestia is a teacher herself, after all.”

“And her pestering student is constantly interrupting royal business with such annoying frivolity.” Bluebood shot back and returned his ire toward me. “Fine, you want questions, Time Turner? Go see Celestia’s student,” he waved his hoof dismissively. “Perhaps you can give her a research project to keep her out of my mane.”

I raised an eyebrow, “and who would that be?”

“Dusk Twinkle or something like that. Ruff will show you the way.” He pointed to the door, “now be gone from my presence and do the job I hired you to do.”

Dismissed, I stood and motioned for Lucky Catch to follow me. I was all too happy to leave the royal pain to his ally. We were halfway to the door when Blueblood restarted his conversation with Fabulator, a pointed dismissal of us and the importance of the subject at hoof. I opened the door and let Catch pass through first, closing the door behind me as we went out into the hall.

Catch dropped her self-imposed silence. “What in Celestia’s name was that?”

“Politics, I think I just lost a game against a pro,” I muttered.

“Lost? Was that supposed to be a game of some sort?”

“Yes, ‘A gentlecolt is never unintentionally rude’. Blueblood was insulted that I didn’t need his permission to enter the palace, or his assistance to continue. Then when I tried to ask him a few questions about the Panther he simply told us to go bother somepony else.” I sighed and rubbed a fetlock across my forehead. “Going to see the student probably our best lead anyway, we can just hope chaos throws a wrench at us.”

“Is all politics like that?” Catch asked with genuine interest.

I nodded slowly. “It’s a delicate game of subtle insults and inlaid sarcasm in everything they do. If I’m any good at all it is because I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with nobility. As a rule they are all rude to each other and anyone below them. Blueblood is probably one of the best at it too—”I snorted. “After all there is only one pony above him that he needs to be nice to.”

Catch nodded, “I see, but its somehow rather disappointing at the same time.” I gave her a sympathetic shrug. “So what do we do now?”

“We find Blueblood’s servant ‘Ruff’ and ask him to lead us to Celestia’s student.”

There was a polite cough from nearby and we both turned to face the source. It was the small diamond dog we had seen earlier, standing on two feet with his paws held behind his back. Catch went straight over to comfort the abused creature.

“Are you okay, that kick looked painful. Did the mean prince hurt you?”

“I am quite fine,” he reassured before adding, “Such is the role I play in the Prince’s household.”

“What role is that,” I asked with some veiled interest.

The diamond dog bowed. “I am Ruff, dogsbody to Prince Blueblood the 52nd. I am at your service.” I briefly smirked at the title, Dogsbody: an amusing title for a menial servant. It was even more amusing when applied to an actual dog, the prince had such wonderful taste in humour.

“Am I correct in assuming my master would have me perform a task for you?” The diamond dog asked with a slight smile on his muzzle. I briefly wondered how much of the conversation here and inside Ruff had been eavesdropping on, in the grand tradition of competent servants everywhere.

“You were supposed to take us to somepony else that could answer my questions,” I asked with as little detail as possible.

Ruff gave me a polite nod. “Her majesty’s faithful student is currently within her chambers in the Ivory Tower.” He reached out an arm and pushed at the wall to reveal a secret passage. “Please, allow me to show you the way.”

The secret passage was a secret known to everypony. It was wide enough for two ponies to easily pass each other and designed so servants could get where they needed to go quickly. We traveled in single file so other servants could pass us, Ruff led from the front, followed by Catch with me at the back. While we travelled Catch asked questions of the diamond dog, her interest in pets extending to the unusual servant.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen somepony like you before, what are you?”

Ruff turned around and walked backwards to speak directly to Catch. “I am one of the Gemini, or more colloquially a ‘Diamond Dog’. We come from a very far off land.”

“So why are you in Equestria?”

“A long and boring story I assure you. Suffice it to say I came in search of opportunity. I was quickly hired as a servant here at the palace, where I was soon assigned to Blueblood as part of the normal rotation. However as I have lasted longer than my predecessors it seems I am doomed to serve him permanently.”

I laughed out loud, receiving an annoyed look from Catch and an amused one from Ruff before I explained the joke. “The reward for doing your job too well, is to be stuck doing it forever.”

“Indeed,” Ruff replied blandly.

Catch was still curious and dove into the heart of her concern. “Why do you serve Blueblood when he’s so horrible to you?”

“It is a simple matter Miss Catch, I am paid well.”

“What could they pay you to make up for being kicked like that?” asked Catch with a note of

Ruff’s composure shook as an eye twitched. “Gems, hundreds of gems,” his voice was filled with a longing tone as his breathing became faster and heavier. “So many gems that are all mine for me to enjoy, shine, hoard and sleep on.”

Catch was a little frightened by the abrupt mood swing and started to back away from Ruff as he continued. “Rubies, emeralds, topazes, opals, sapphires and diamonds, everything a dog could want!” he called out lifting his arms into the air. They weren’t called diamond dogs for nothing.

“That’s enough for you? A few jewels and you’re willing to deal with Blueblood all the time?” Catch asked.

Ruff seemed to realize what he was shouting and took a few deep breaths to return to his calm demeanour. “I am also granted ‘hazard pay’ by the treasury and the Princess also pays me directly. At my last estimate I suspect I may be one of the wealthiest diamond dogs in the world, and by far the richest in Equestria.”

“Given what we just saw I’m not surprised,” I added. “So why is Blueblood considered important? Last time I checked the Princess was in charge.”

Ruff smiled. “My master’s title is a result of his heritage from the ancient unicorn royal family. It gives him prestige and aids him in controlling the nobility. Beyond that he also has a seat on the royal council and a significant amount of influence on the other members, making him the unofficial leader. This means whenever the Princess is away Blueblood is effectively in charge, making him the second most powerful pony in Equestria.”

“Making you the most powerful diamond dog in Equestria,” I said with a smirk. “After all you can influence him in ways the nobility can’t.”

“If I switched his morning coffee to a de-caffeinated blend, then perhaps I could.” He thought aloud as he continued to lead us further into the palace’s secret passageways. As we continued talking, I had to admit to myself that I was beginning to like this diamond dog.

Luna’s Notes:

(1)Our sister at any time hast several schemes in motion. A Millennium of rule hast given her an unrivalled edge in court intrigue. We however find politics onerous at best and prefer a direct approach in our own schemes.

(2)As thou might expect, our personal Night Guard and our Sister’s personal retinue of Solar Guard are all skilled combatants. The palace posting is regarded as soft and our more skilled servants are posted elsewhere.

(3)The Royal Art Collection has been compiled from works personally chosen by our sister over the entirety of her reign. Every night servants move pieces around so each day new examples of visual art from throughout history are given a chance to be appreciated.

Chapter 3: Questions and More Questions

Eventually Ruff led us out of the servants’ passageways and out into the castle courtyard. On the other side of the yard stood a tall tower made from white stone and topped with gold. We crossed the courtyard to the base of the tower where Ruff came to a halt.

“This is the Ivory Tower. The student you seek resides at the top.”

“Thank you Ruff, is there anything else I should know?” I asked the diamond dog.

“I would advise that you remain polite, she is not a mare to be trifled with. I must return to my duties, good day.” Without waiting further Ruff walked away at a fast trot, leaving me and Lucky Catch to climb the tower.

“'Not a mare to be trifled with', what do you think he meant by that Timey?” Catch asked me with a note of uncertainty in her voice.

“Well, apparently this pony is important enough that the immortal avatar of the sun and moon is willing to take a significant amount of time out of her busy day in order to teach this student on a personal basis.” I gave Catch an aside glance. “I think that means she worthy of some respect at least. Come on, I actually want to meet her and find out what all this fuss is about.” I led the way up the walkway that circled the tower and eventually reached a small balcony where petitioners could wait to be received. I gave the door a polite set of knocks and waited.

There was a sound of a muffled cry and the pattering sound of approaching feet that didn’t sound like any pony I heard of. I assumed the student had a diamond dog for a servant as well, paws must be useful for menial fetch tasks and scribe work.

The door opened to reveal a much shorter creature, it was a biped as I guessed but it was far away from the dog I had assumed.

“Can I help you?” asked the short biped, it looked somewhat draconic and was covered in purple scales with green spikes.

“Good afternoon,” I began. “Are you Celestia’s Student?”

“What? No that’s not me, its Twilight you want. I’m her assistant, Spike.”

“My mistake, I was told to consult Celestia’s student who supposed to be brilliant. I honestly thought that it was you, you certainly look intelligent enough.” Flattery will get you everywhere, Spike seemed to brighten up a bit and stood a little straighter.

“Well of course, I have to be to keep her in line,” he boasted.

“He’s such a wonderful looking thing,” Catch said to me in a stage whisper that Spike could hear, “those scales shine so brightly in this light.” This complement didn’t have the same effect on Spike, but he didn’t object to it either.

“Well you probably want to talk to Twilight, come in I’ll just go get her for you.” Spike opened the door wider and gestured with a claw for us to enter, shutting the door behind us one we were inside. “Make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be back in a minute.” We sat down in a lounge area where every available surface had been covered by books that laid everywhere.

“Certainly feels like a student’s room,” I mentioned to Catch and she giggled lightly.

“Spike!” called out a voice from upstairs, “who was at the door?”

“Guests, Twilight, they’re here to see you about something,” Spike called back as he climbed upstairs.

“Can it wait until later? I’m busy.”

“They want your help, come down and say hello at least, they’re nice.” The assistant left my sight and I started to hear a quieter conversation from above. Eventually Spike came back to the balcony and called out to us. “Are you sure it has to be right now, right now?”

“Yes,” I returned and then added, “The Princess sent us!”

“What‽” Came a cry from upstairs, as a lavender coloured unicorn came bolting down the stairs to see us. “I’m-so-sorry-I-didn’t-realize-it-was-important, how-can-I-help-you?” I smiled as Twilight came to a halt in front of me.

‘I should invoke the Princess’s name more often, if it gets me this kind of response,’ I thought to myself.

I rose to my hooves, “Good afternoon miss…”

“Twilight Sparkle,” she filled in.

“… Sparkle, my name is Time Turner and this is my assistant Lucky Catch.”

“Afternoon,” Catch greeted with a wave.

“I’m a detective and I’ve been hired to investigate a series of strange occurrences. I have a few questions to ask and the Princess said you were good with questions.”

“Questions? She said I was good with questions? Is this a test‽ What sort of test is it? How hard is it to pass? What if I don’t pass‽ When do I—“ Spike gave Twilight a kick in the back of her leg to interrupt her. “Spike! Why did—.”

“Twilight! Calm down,” I said to break her out of her tantrum spiral. “You definitely have a way with questions, so I’ll get to the subject.”

“Oh, yes, go on.”

“I need to find out about an old legend, ‘The Panther of the Bluebloods’.”

“Hmm, I think I’ve read about that somewhere before…” her horn lit up and every book in the room flew up into the air, Catch gave a mild squeak of shock when one of the books she was sitting on joined them. I was impressed, every unicorn can perform telekinesis but this was better than I’d ever seen before. Even Rarity who had more skill than anypony I’d known before couldn’t hold this many things at once, although perhaps she had a more deft touch as Twilight tended the throw things around in abrupt motions. The books flew into a line that passed in front of Twilight where she checked each volume as it passed.

“No, no, no, no, no…,” Twilight murmured to herself as she checked each and every book in her grasp before returning it to a shelf.

I shifted in my seat and noticed a book that had fallen down underneath the table, it was a brown tome embossed with a golden unicorn on the cover. I dragged it out and opened it to find the title ‘Legends of Equestria’. I flipped through it to find lots of wonderfully drawn pictures that illustrated several legends that I’d either heard of before or knew myself. The first detailed the ascension of the royal pony sisters, beyond it lay the disappearance of the Crystal Empire, the founding of Equestria and toward the back I found a small entry labelled ‘The Royal Panther’.

“Ah hah, Twilight, I found something.” The book was yanked out of my grip as Twilight inspected it.

Eventually she asked me, “Where did you find it?”

“Under the table, it was fairly obvious.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen this book before… Spike! Did we get any new books lately?”

“You don’t need to yell, Twilight. I’m right here.” The assistant had been sitting behind Twilight the whole time. “And no, not in the last two weeks.”

“Where did this one come from then?” Twilight asked and Spike simply shrugged in response. “Well I’m going to read it now.”

This exchange had me and Catch sharing a glance. “Time Turner," she asked quietly. "Don’t you think it’s rather strange that a book that Twilight has never seen before, would show up in her personal collection with just what we needed?”

“It is, this sort of coincidence has to be a symptom of chaos in the underlying harmony. This means that we’re on the right path to finding the questions we need to solve this case.”

“Don’t you mean the answers we need to solve the case,” Catch pointed out.

“Answers only leave you with more questions,”I said with a smile. “Which is good because questions are the things that lead you to where you need to go.”

“Timey that makes no sense.”

“I’m a Discordian Detective, remember? That’s half the point.” I winked at Catch and she rolled her eyes at me.

“So Twilight, what does the book say?” I asked the unicorn, she had already lost herself to the book.

“Oh sorry, it’s a bit of an old-mare’s tale. Did you actually want to hear it?” Twilight asked sceptically, “It’s a little far fetched.”

“Might as well, read away.”

Twilight gave a little cough before she began. “Once upon a time in the Old Kingdom of the Unicorns, there was a young princess who was scared of the dark nights of winter. Such was her fear that she could not sleep for she was scared of monsters and creatures of the night attacking her in the darkness of her chambers.

“Soon she would only sleep during the day, failing in her duties to her mother and her subjects during the day, while remaining alone in fear at night.

“Thankfully an enchanter of renown heard of her plight and offered his assistance. He offered her companionship and watched over her safety during the night, allowing the princess to once again rest easy knowing she was protected from monsters. But the wise enchanter knew he could not always be there to protect the young princess and began to construct a guardian for her. Using the smoke from a burning scroll of magic—really? Who would burn a scroll or a book?—, the mist from the top of a mountain and the light of the moon, he constructed a spirit in the shape of a dark cat.

“The princess was delighted with her companion and the enchanter told her, ‘forever will it protect you and your descendants from creatures of the night, the forces of darkness and those that hide in shadow.’ Thenceforth the Royal Panther followed the princess, protecting and became her closest companion (1).

“While the princess treated the Royal Panther with kindness and friendship her children came to fear it, for while it was their protector it was also a shadowy spirit as well. Their children openly shunned the spirit, eager to exist without it haunting their shadows.

“The Panther bore this stoically, until one day a member of the royal household attempted to undo the enchantment that held the guardian spirit together. He failed to do so entirely and released the spirit from its bonds, freed from the need to protect the royal line the Panther acted to preserve itself. The hubris of the royal blinded him to the danger the spirit could pose and left him uncaring to the plight of his oldest servant, for this lack of judgement he lost his life.

“Without purpose, unbound and unwanted the Panther departed, leaving the family it once served to fend for itself as it vanished into the night.”

Twilight laid the book down on the table where an illustration depicted the Panther fading away into the shadows of the night.

“That was a bit dark,” Spike remarked. “But there is a lesson in there for everypony, treat your servants properly. Isn’t that right Twilight?”

“You’re right Spike,” Twilight agreed. “I should get a gift or something for the palace servants who clean our tower.”

“I’m the one who cleans the tower…” Spike grumbled but Twilight didn’t seem to notice.

“Doesn’t look like he’s doing a good job,” I said quietly while noting the clutter spread around. Lucky Catch gave me a kick to a shin and gave me a “shush” to keep me quiet.

“Miss Sparkle,” Catch began. “Is that all the book says about the Panther?”

“That’s all, though now that I think about it I remember that the reason sentient magical constructs are banned is because one killed a member of the royal family more than a thousand years ago. It might be the one mentioned in this book… if that’s true then perhaps the same can be said for the other legends in here. This means it’s time for some more research!” Twilight picked the book back up and started to look at the contents page.

Before we could lose her to the book again, I used a hoof to get her attention by waving it in front of my eyes. “If that’s all that you have on the subject, Miss Sparkle. Then we’ll leave you to your studies, one more thing though.” The student looked at me, non verbally asking what I wanted. “I was wondering if I could borrow a telescope. Nothing too powerful, but I suspect you have a few around.”

“Spike, could you get my backup telescope for Detective Turner.”

“Sure, but what do you need a telescope for?” he asked me.

“Just to test a theory, I’ll bring it back tomorrow or the day after.” Twilight nodded and Spike ran off to fetch the telescope for me. He returned moments later with a saddle case that presumably contained the optical instrument.

“Bring it back in one piece,” Spike reminded me and I nodded in return. I lifted the case onto my back with my saddlebags.

“Thank you for all your assistance,” I addressed the pair, “good afternoon.”

I trotted toward the exit, giving a slight motion of my head toward Catch to ask her to follow, leaving the unicorn to study her new book. I shut the door behind us and we walked down the ramp to the courtyard of the royal palace.

Once I reached the ground I turned to wait for Catch to catch up, she had taken a moment to enjoy the fresh breeze and clear the musty smell of the room.

Once she caught up she gave me a quizzical look and tapped the case on my back. “What’s the telescope for?”

“You’ll see,” I answered vaguely. “Are you hungry?” Summoned by the mention of food both our stomachs growled. We both chuckled at the obvious sign that we had both missed lunch as the afternoon had run on. “My detective deduction skills say yes, let’s go get something and find a hotel for the night.”

“Why a hotel? We could just stay at my place instead. It’s not far from here, and I have room enough for both of us to be comfortable together.”

“Stay at your place while Prince Blueblood himself is paying for our expenses?” I chuckled. “He’s not short of bits so we can afford to stay someplace with room service.” Catch giggled at the thought of abusing the expenses sheet, the hotel I had in mind had chocolate mousse moose available.

We started to cross the courtyard back into the main palace itself down a pleasant path that wound through a well-tended garden. The garden combined a mix of private hedge “rooms” and wider planes broken up by strategically place flower beds. The Princess must enjoy walking in the gardens if the level of care taken by the maintenance staff was any indication.

As we turned a corner we found a guard headed in the opposite direction, towards Twilight’s ivory tower. He was a unicorn wearing the blue trimmed golden armour of a lieutenant, marking one of the few genuinely competent members of the royal guard. Of course just casually walking in the palace gardens is not suspicious, no reason for a guard to take interest in a pair of earth ponies. I continued to walk as if I wasn’t actually trespassing.

“Halt,” the guard spoke as he accosted us. “who are you two and what are you doing here?”

“My name is Detective Time Turner and this is my assistant Lucky Catch,” I answered obediently. Trust me, if you act evasive around somepony in authority they’ll notice and start asking uncomfortable questions.

The guard’s attention shifted to the ivory tower we had just left. “What was your business with the Princess’s student?”

“Consultation on obscure unicorn history,” I replied.

The lieutenant turned to face me directly, “Twilight doesn’t get visitors for ‘consultations’ and if you wanted history you should have visited the royal library.”

Of course he caught me being evasive. My calm act started to deteriorate as I quickly realized this guard officer knew Twilight Sparkle on a personal basis. I suppose the “Princess’s Favored Student” would be considered quite a catch for the stallions in the guard.

“What’s your name Lieutenant?” I asked the guard.

“Lieutenant Shining Armor, 1st Division of the Royal Guard.” Typical, that division was Princess Celestia’s personal retinue and with a name like “Shining Armour” he had to be prime guard material. He was probably also the really honourable, holier than thou self-sacrificing type that tended to think I was some form of con-artist and a fraud. I can’t say that I am a fan of those types either.

I didn’t plan on standing around answering the questions of some jumped up layabout, so I started working on a distraction. “Do you know the story behind the Gingerbread Dog?”

The gingerbread dog? The guard asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, the gingerbread dog,” I replied flatly.” He was an interesting case from a few years back. It took me a week to track him down, but the Royal Guard helped me get him in the end. It wasn’t something they were proud of though.” I tilted my head back. “I chased him down a street from the bakery, where he’d made stolen thirty nine cakes.”

“So he stole three baker’s dozens worth of food?” Catch noted with a tiny amount of wit. “That’s almost as many as four tens.”

“And that’s terrible,” Armour noted.

I sighed as I brought a hoof to my face. “Anyway, I chased him around a corner into an alleyway and into a member of the Royal Guard. I made sure he was secured, returned the cakes to the bakery and got a batch at half price. The gingerbread dog went to the palace dungeon to serve out his time for the crime.”

“And the guard got a medal?” Armour guessed with a smile crossing his face.

“He was arrested for ‘lollygagging’,” I returned dryly.

I started walking before Armour could work out the insult and Catch quickly followed my lead. After a few seconds we broke into an open gallop when we heard an angry shout as Armour figured out the punch line.

I suppose indirectly calling a guard—and by extension all guards—a “lazy twit” isn’t exactly politic (2). Still, you do have to admit that they mostly stand around and do nothing all day.

The pair of us easily outran Shining Armour, he was quite naturally weighed down by his namesake attire and like most unicorns a terrible distance runner. We got back into the palace’s service tunnels before he could catch up.

I was well aware of the trouble that an irate guard officer could cause, so we decided to leave the palace as soon as possible. I doubted I would be learning anything else about the panther by consulting the library and I had a theory to test.

Setting up what I needed to test this theory was going to be difficult, the telescope was crucial to my plan but I needed to be in the right place to use it. Getting to the right place required its own plan that I was putting together as we left the palace. Lucky Catch was going to absolutely love this one.

“Catch, you know you’re beautiful right?” Judging by the look that quickly spread across her face I had just made her day. I hadn’t actually called her beautiful before then, or even admitted to liking her, so actually saying that was a probably a big deal to her. She threw herself onto me and hugged me with every little bit of her earth pony strength.

“Ca *ack* I *gasp* air.” The crazy mare was crushing my lungs and I couldn’t even get enough air in my lungs to reset my way out of it. Black dots started to form before my eyes as the lack of oxygen started to take effect, thankfully Catch released her hold before she could hug me to death.

“Oh Timey I knew you cared, I knew—Timey, are you okay?”

My only response was a coughing fit as my lungs returned to their normal size.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Catch apologized as she moved toward giving me an apology hug that was—thank Celestia—less organ crushing than the last.

“Oh its fine,” I rasped. “But I need your help, I have a cunning plan and it centres on you.”

“What is it?” she asked, with her usual instant desire to help no matter how insane my plan was.

“Do you know where noble mares go to get their makeup done?”

“Salon de Prestige,” Catch answered with a note of awe in her voice. “Every mare in Equestria wants to go there, but few can afford it.”

“Well, I’m taking you there, my treat.” Catch started to hug me again, squealing in delight and acting like a little filly, in the middle of a busy Canterlot street.

“Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou,” Catch blurted out, eventually coming to a sudden halt as an unwelcome thought crossed her mind. “Time Turner, how can you afford this?”

A grin crossed my face.“Blueblood is paying for it.”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Despite not being mentioned in the story, the Panther has on several occasions protected members of the unicorn royal family from assassination attempts and attacks by night creatures. These are unrecorded and forgotten incidents that only we remember with clarity.

(2) We are sure an implication of brutish violence on the guard’s part was also intended. Whether it twas this or the implication of slothfulness on the part of the guard that Shining Armour reacted to is not elaborated on.

Chapter 4: The Best Stakeout Ever

“So, what’s the plan?” Lucky Catch asked.

“What makes you think there’s a plan?” I replied.

“You’re carrying a telescope and paid for a makeover costing more than I make in a week,” she surmised with a knowing smile. Lucky Catch had spent an hour being pampered at Equestria’s most expensive salon while I was across the street getting lunch. Her coat glittered in the evening light, false eyelashes had been added and her face had been subtly covered in grade A cosmetics.

She gave me a smile that revealed her whitened teeth. “There’s a plan, what is it?”

I found myself returning the smile. “Well I have a few theories about Blueblood’s Panther, but the only way to prove them is direct observation.”

“We won’t be able to get close to it. Is that what the telescope is for?”

I replied with a nod then added, “We have to watch it from outside the palace grounds and that means we need to see over the palace walls.”

“You mean we would have to be high up on a tall building near the palace itself?”

“Yes, and I can only think of one building suitable.” I looked at Catch and waited as she started to think of suitable buildings. We were walking down Palace Boulevard again in the direction of the palace. The afternoon herd had dispersed and the road had cleared as Princess Celestia prepared lower the sun.

“The Colton Stables Hotel,” Catch realised. “The hotel that fancy ponies and visiting nobility stay at, right? Just across from the palace?”

I nodded, “They do have lower priced rooms, but we need one with a balcony and high up enough to give us a view of the palace grounds.”

Catch broke out into a full grin shaking her head slowly, “you wouldn’t.”

“Well, I’m sure Blueblood can afford it, and we’re going to need the penthouse suite to solve this case properly.” I brought a grin to my face as well. “Some room service wouldn’t go too far astray either.” Lucky Catch began to laugh, a sure sign she was getting too comfortable with these sorts of antics. I am such a bad influence on her (1).

Once we arrived at the hotel we put our plan into action. I coached Catch a little before hoof as we planned out our little scheme. This was going to combine the old Hoofington Herding Trick and bit of Delusions of Grandeur for good measure. The first part of our scheme was the entrance; we needed to establish our characters in the minds of the hotel staff with some entertaining acting.

Lucky Catch stormed into the hotel lobby, pushing past other ponies without regard and walked right past the queue in front of the check in desk. I followed, apologising to every pony Catch slighted during her entrance.

Once Catch reached the desk she stopped and lifted her nose into the air in disdain, tapping her hoof impatiently. I galloped forward and rang the service bell three times. Then I stood waiting by Catch and did my best to look nervous.

The bell got the attention of the mare running the desk. Annoyed at the interruption, she gave a huff and came over to rebuke us.

Before she could say anything I proclaimed, “Presenting Baroness von Catch of Stalliongrad.” The counter mare swallowed the rebuke she was about to give and gave Catch a slight curtsy that was ignored entirely.

“How can we help you Baroness?” the mare asked Catch, but the Baroness refused to acknowledge the existence of the desk clerk.

I gave a polite cough. “The Baroness is visiting Canterlot at the invitation of Prince Blueblood. However the Baroness has declined the use of the Palace guest facilities and wishes to sojourn in one of the penthouse suites of this hotel.” I gave the clerk a slight pleading look and added in a quieter tone, “Please tell me you can accommodate us. My mistress is most demanding and if I cannot find her an appropriately luxurious suite she’ll send me to the deepest pits of Stalliongrad to mine gems with my bare hooves.”

Catch tapped her hoof to say she was getting impatient.

The desk clerk gave me a sympathetic look. “I’d love to help but we only have one penthouse vacant right now and it’s already been reserved.”

“Does the reservist have a landed title?” I asked in a low voice. The desk clerk turned to check the ledger further along the desk.

“She’s a wealthy tycoon from Manehatten. I’m sorry but we just don’t have any more penthouses available. The lead up to the Summer Sun Celebration always takes up most of our suites.”

I gave Catch a slight flick from my tail as a signal to move to our contingency plan. “Can’t you just bump her down a room? My mistress is really getting impatient and we need that suite. If Miss Tycoon has an issue with it get her to take it up with the Prince, because it’s not like—“

“I have endured enough of this foolishness!” Catch roared. She threw her hooves onto the desk and lifted herself up so she could stare down at the desk clerk. I had already given the clerk a way out – giving us the room – and now Catch was going to drive her into it. Later I would find myself favourably comparing Catch’s shouting with Luna’s “Royal Canterlot Voice”, but Catch can’t match the sheer volume the Princess can project (2).

“Turn over the room! or I shall ensure that everypony of worth in Equestria knows that you would favour a commoner over a thoroughbred noble!” Catch’s tirade had pushed the poor desk clerk down onto her plot and she was now melting under the ‘baroness’s’ wrathful glare.

“My Mistress,” I began to interrupt. “Please, it’s not her fault I’m sure there’s another—“

Catch rounded on me yelling, “How dare you speak on behalf of this commoner! You shalt remember who you are bound to serve. When we return to—“

“It’s yours,” the clerk blurted out.

“What‽” Catch asked in shock.

“The room, take it. Just don’t punish him, please.”

“Good to see you came to your senses,” Catch replied in a normal tone and she began walking towards the elevators. The entire room breathed a sigh of relief as Catch walked away. Most of the audience of ponies that had been watching the tirade did their best to pretend nothing happened.

I went to the clerk and she presented me with the key to the penthouse. “Thank you for your help.”

She nodded in reply, “be careful.” Then she leant forward and gave me a soft nuzzle, blushing as she did so. It was a good thing Catch had gone, the possessive mare would have gone into a genuine rage if she saw that.

I gave the clerk a thankful nod and galloped after Lucky Catch.

The elevator ride was quick at first, but began to slow as it neared the top of the building. Elevators are a rare thing in architecture and expensive to run. Most ponies assume that the cost is in the magic used to propel the car. In truth elevators actually use pony power, rather than magic, and there’s some poor earth pony turning a wheel somewhere to move the elevator car.

The car eventually reached the floor our penthouse was on and adjusted slightly so the doors lined up for us to open. We alighted onto a landing with a door at the end matching the key I received from the clerk downstairs.

I opened the door and Lucky Catch exclaimed in wonder at the sight, I was simply speechless. The Penthouse wasn’t so much a room as it was the entire floor, and we were eighteen floors up from the surface of Canterlot, itself halfway up a mountain.

I walked out onto the western balcony and looked out at the view below. The palace and its gardens were a magnificent view, but beyond them lay the rest of Equestria in an even greater vista. I could even see Ponyville and I could make out the clock tower from here as well as the vast orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. Sadly I couldn’t see my house from here.

“Timey, come see this,” I heard a call out from inside. Catch had decided to check the rest of the room and I went to see what she had found. Trotting through a grandiose doorway I found Catch lying across a princess sized bed (3) and she was giving me a come hither look.

It was at this point that I realized my mistake. I was so caught up in finding a spot for my telescope, and simultaneously looking for a way to spend as many bits as possible, that I had made a critical error. I brought Lucky Catch into an expensive hotel room with a princess sized bed. There was also a box of chocolates with a bottle of grape juice on the nightstand. The worst part was that the suite seemed to have been set up with a romantic environment in mind for the original guests.

Sweet Celestia’s Day Glow Mane, I thought to myself. I sighed, caught my breath and prepared to deal with the situation.

“Well, I see you claimed this room.” I tilted my head toward the door. “Let’s go order some dinner. I want to see the menu this place has.”

I think I briefly saw Catch’s expression fall as I turned and walked out the room. Keeping her distracted all night was going to be an amazing feat by itself.

The Colton Stables Hotel was a modern affair with all the modern conveniences its reputation required. A guest could hardly be expected to have to travel all the way to the kitchens to order a meal. Instead a very clever arrangement with scrying spells was used to send a message remotely.

A table by the entrance featured a glass surface, a notepad, a pair of gems, and a large hoof friendly button. I took a sheet from the notepad and filled out what I wanted from the menu. I took the opportunity to sample a few of the fine delicacies that a common pony could never afford.

“Is that the menu?” Catch asked as she looked over my shoulder at the list of overpriced meals.

“Closer to the endangered flora list I imagine,” I noted. The list was filled with rare flowers with limited habitats, including a dish labelled “Poison Joke Surprise”. I took the poison joke dish, which advertised a chaotic flavour created using specially treated flowers from the Everfree Forest.

Lucky Catch opted for a “Fire Flower Fulmination” which promised to be bright and hot. Finally I added an order for the “Chocolate Mousse Moose” dessert and a bottle of a drink named “The Rainbow Chaser”.

I placed the paper onto the glass surface of the table, pushed the button on the device and one of the gems lit up with a red glow. The table used a scrying spell to create an image of the paper we had written on down on a similar glass in the kitchens. After a few moments the second gem lit up with a green glow to say then order had been received.

“Modern enchantments are so incredible,” Catch noted.

I nodded. “Indeed, now let’s go get the telescope set up.” I picked up the case containing our borrowed instrument and we went out to the western balcony. While Catch admired the view, I started to set the telescope up. I was delighted to discover this one was of earth pony make that could be set up easily without the use of magic or hours of hoof work.

I set the case on the ground, pushed the setup button and took a few steps back. The case flipped open and the telescope sprung open onto a tripod. A few adjustments and I had it pointing down toward the palace.

“Timey,” Catch began. “Take a look at the sunset.”

“Trying not to, I don’t want to lose an eye to this telescope,” I replied as I adjusted the focus on the eyepiece. Focused on my task, I paid little attention to Catch as she started to open her own bags. Just as I managed to get the thing focused on the palace gates I felt a tap on my flank.

“Time Turner,” Catch asked.

“Yes Catch?” I said as I turned toward her and found her sitting on her flank with a fore hoof in the air, holding an open box. The box held a golden tail ring that probably took Catch a month to save up for.

It was rather… strange. We were together on a balcony high above Canterlot with what might be one of the best views in Equestria, watching the sun set. It was probably the most poetic moment for a proposition like this.

“Reset,” I invoked.

Time reset itself back to where it had been moments ago as Lucky Catch made her observation, “Timey, take a look at the sunset.” I broke away from the telescope to look at the sight, I actually felt guilty.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Catch asked as she turned to look at me.

“It is,” I agreed. “Catch, can you look through this telescope and adjust it a bit, I just need a moment.” Catch nodded and took my place while I retreated back inside the suite.

Once I was alone I sighed to myself. Shame, I was feeling shame of all emotions. Normally I never felt anything near that, it’s hard to feel regret when you can often avoid it entirely. Another proposal avoided. I suppose by now it was starting to build up and Catch’s persistence was getting to me. I liked her enough to want her to be happy, but what was I going to do with her?

I’ll Cross that bridge when it comes, I told myself. Though someday I’ll need to give her an answer. Introspective moment over, I went back outside to check on Catch’s progress.

“Turner, come have a look at this,” she said as I came out. She quickly moved away to let me see for myself. “What do you think of that?”

I peered into the eyepiece, and drew back in horror from the image the telescope showed. A distant echo of laughter came to mind. “The statue…” I felt a little shaken having seen the monstrosity again.

“That’s the statue?” Catch asked as she looked back through the telescope again. “So this is the one in your nightmares. That’s Discord: the representation of disharmony.”

“It’s called Discord?”

“You didn’t know?” Catch gave me a concerned look. “You named your detective agency after him.”

“I-I called it Discordian because it meant disharmony, and it sounded cooler,” I admitted.

“I thought you said you went on the palace tour as a colt?”

“I did,” I said with a nod. “But I didn’t pay any attention to the names.”

My mind rapidly filled horrible thoughts. The statue was the Celestia damned representation of chaos and disharmony, the very basis of my detective career. This did not bode well, everything I had learned as a discordian detective was telling me something was wrong here.

Before I could go into a panic attack there was a knock on the suite door. I was relieved to have a mundane problem to solve. I left Catch on the balcony and left to answer the door. On the other side of the door was a mare with a small chef’s hat perched on her head, and a trolley holding several trays of covered food.

“Good evening sir, this is your order with complements from the head chef. Would you like to charge this to your room or somewhere else?” the mare asked.

“Charge it to Prince Blueblood.”

“Sir?” the mare asked quizzically.

“The Prince has offered to pay for my mistress’s stay here, in lieu of staying in one of the palace suites. Just send it to him with the note, ‘Time Turner’s Expenses’.”

“Very good sir,” she nodded while recording my instruction on a bill and presented it to me. “Sign here please.” I made my mark on the bill for the food and the mare left.

I took the trolley out to the balcony just in time to see the sun set entirely.

We took turns between eating our dinner and watching the palace though the telescope. Now that night had fallen I was expecting to see Blueblood’s panther anytime now. The Poison Joke Surprise surprised me with a taste that changed between each bite, ranging from a chocolate taste to dirt.

Catch displayed a surprising resistance to the taste of spicy food and easily ate a dish that forced me to down my drink when she gave me a bit to try. When I returned the gesture she found mine tasted exactly the same as hers. That was the joke I supposed; plants have a terrible sense of humour.

During one of Catch’s turns on the telescope she asked me a question from this morning. “Timey, you said I should ask you about your cutie mark sometime. Nothing’s happening yet, so could you tell me now?”

I agreed and drank another glass of the Rainbow Chaser. “Before we begin, I want you to promise never to tell anypony about this. It’s one of my deepest secrets.”

“I promise,” Catch replied.

“Uh-huh, you will.” I coughed. “Now, repeat after me: ‘Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye’.”

Catch followed me through the motions and then asked, “What was that for?”

“That was a Pinkie Promise. It’s something we take it very seriously in Ponyville. Because trust between friends is something that should last…”

“Forever!” Came the sound of the promise’s enforcer as she flew across the Canterlot sky in a ballistic arc toward Ponyville.

“Was that… Pinkie Pie?” asked a shocked Lucky Catch.

“Or a pig flying, I stopped asking questions about her a while back. Alright, let’s get on with the story.”

“It was a week or so after my encounter with the statue – Discord – on my school’s field trip to Canterlot. We had returned home to Trottingham – yes Catch, I was born in Trottingham, notice the accent? – And I had started to calm down after my encounter. However Discord’s voice was still haunting me with the words, ‘You will live in interesting times’.

“So here I was, walking through the town on my way home when I saw something amazing. I saw an adult stallion with a tan coat, a dark mane and the same eyes as me. It’s not every day you see somepony that looks just like you, so I followed him. Eventually he seemed to notice me and turned down into an alleyway, where I ran into him.

“The next thing I noticed was that we sounded almost the same as well, his voice was deeper and was the same as mine is now. ‘Hello there little colt,’ he said with a smile. Considering the way he greeted me, it clear to me who he was.

“‘Sweet Celestia,’ I said. ‘you’re me.’

“The future me replied, ‘Yep, I suppose so, we’ll go with that.’ He stopped to consider me for a moment. ‘It’s probably not a good thing that we met. This can cause problems in the timeline, all sorts of wibbly wobbly, timey whimey problems.’

“I was young at the time and as you might have guessed, currently obsessed about getting my mark. So there I was, looking at myself, and my eyes wandered to the hourglass mark on my future flank. ‘An hourglass, that means time right?’ I guessed. ‘You’re here, so that must mean you can time travel. So that means I’m going to get a time traveling cutie mark!’ So I looked back at my own flank imagining the mark that I knew I was going to get, and it appeared right before my eyes.

“Before I could break into the traditional celebratory dance, my future-self stopped me. ‘Okay... me, I need to get going before we tear a hole the size of Manehatten in the universe. Be careful, stay in school and don’t let too many people know how you got your mark. That could end badly.’ I nodded and my future-self left the alleyway, walking away from the road I would have to take to get home.

After a few minutes of blissful celebration I went home to show my family my mark. I still keep this story quiet because I don’t want to blow a hole in the universe. So don’t go spreading it around, okay?”

Story finished, I refilled my cup and had another drink.

“Well that’s probably the strangest cutie mark story I’ve ever heard,” Catch stated.

“Did you expect anything normal at this point?” I replied dryly. Catch refused to dignify that with a comment and returned to her shift on the telescope.

A few minutes later she saw something. “Turner, the Panther just appeared.” She moved aside to let me look through the telescope.

“Where is it?” I asked while I got my bearings.

“Palace gardens, in the southern quarter, near the wall.”

I spotted the Panther just where Catch said it was. “It’s walking along the wall, it must know where it’s – wait it just jumped.”

The Panther had leapt up to one of the lower balconies on the palace and waited. After about two minutes it leapt up again to another balcony above it where it waited again before continuing its pattern of leaping up another two floors.

Then it started to move along the palace wall, keeping to the same floor as it moved along the balconies toward the south tower. Once at the tower it waited and the “head” seemed to gaze up at the tower. I shifted the telescope to focus on the tower to find out what the Panther was after. I didn’t have to look for long. The door on one of the largest balconies halfway up the tower opened and Prince Blueblood emerged with his two bodyguards.

Blueblood quickly spotted the Panther waiting below, and retreated inside with his guards into what I presumed to be his chambers. The Panther took a flying leap larger than any it had made before and landed on Blueblood’s balcony, where it sat.

“Catch, you’re the animal expert. What do you make of this?”

Catch took my place at the telescope and peered through at the Panther. “It’s just sitting there. Though it does look like it's waiting for something; it’s alert, not lounging around. It also looks like it’s got its back to the room and facing outwards.”

“So, it’s not watching Blueblood like a griffon would watch a rabbit then?” I asked.

“No, it’s just watching everything but Blueblood and it’s being attentive, but not aggressive.” After a moment Catch gave me her professional opinion, “I think it’s guarding him.”

“Now it makes sense, the story wasn’t entirely true then.” Catch turned to give me a questioning look, nonverbally asking me to elaborate. Or I just thought she was and elaborated anyway.

“The story implied that the Panther left and never returned once it was freed from its bond after it killed Blueblood the 4th.” I started to pace back and forth across the balcony. “Yet here it is acting like the guardian it always was. It’s been following Blueblood for days, and even though Blueblood thinks it wants to harm him it hasn’t. It’s perfectly capable of doing so, and I doubt his bodyguards could stop something that just leapt halfway up the tower.”

“But why is it here now?” Catch asked.

“That is a good question. It hasn’t been seen in more than a thousand years, but is that really a surprise when Equestria has been more or less peaceful for a millennium? It’s a guardian that knows that a visible presence would cause more problems than it would solve. So it has only quietly guarded the Blueblood line over that time. Which brings us to another good question: why is it guarding Blueblood so overtly?”

“Because… it thinks it needs to?” Catch asked hesitantly.

I nodded. “As the story said, ‘forever will it protect you and your descendants from creatures of the night, the forces of darkness and those that hide in shadow’.”

I snorted. “Blueblood is right to be worried, but he’s focusing on the wrong threat. The Panther is a symptom of the problem, not the cause. There’s something else out there after him and if the Panther hasn’t struck back at it, then it doesn’t know what it is either.”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Alternatively, Catch is becoming a good influence on Turner.

(2) The Royal Canterlot Voice is the result of centuries of practice combined with a mild voice amplification spell that together became second nature to us. However I have yet to see any of my subjects replicate it nearly as well as we can.

(3) Recall if you would the stature our sister enjoys and note that the “princess” sized bed is roughly based on the size of the royal divan in her chambers.

Chapter 5: Stallions of Letters

There was a loud series of bangs from inside the room.

I rolled over with a groan, the cold floor of the balcony gave me little comfort as I woke up. I had spent the entire night outside watching the Panther through the telescope and just like me, it hadn’t moved from that spot on the balcony for the rest of the night. I rolled myself over onto my hooves and stood up with a wobble, my entire body aching from spending the morning sleeping outside on the balcony, with only a pillow.

I looked around as I staggered inside, my ears flicking in pain as the next series of thuds came from the suite’s entrance. A quick glance at the bedroom door showed it was still closed, Catch had gone inside during the night to sleep in the princess sized bed. In hindsight I should have joined her, because now my back was killing me.

The pounding on the door became heavier and I could hear muffled shouting. I stumbled over to the door, ready to shout back at whatever ass was knocking on my door. I kicked the door open to reveal a squad of four royal guards, led by a guard lieutenant who looked strangely familiar.

“Time Turner: you are under arrest for fraud. Do you have anything to say in your defence?”

I blinked twice and then simply said, “reset.”

I was still crossing the room when the reset stopped and felt a mild thrill of panic that did wonders to wake me up quickly. I crossed over to the bedroom door and went in to find Lucky Catch still sleeping in the bed.

I went over and shook her awake.“Catch, wake up.”

“Timey can’t you let me sleep in,” she spoke through a yawn. “This bed is just so comfortable.”

“Catch, there are guards outside. Pack your bags and take down the telescope,” I instructed. “They’re probably here to arrest us and take us to the palace.”

“What have we done?” Catch asked with a note of panic in her voice.

“No idea, but I’m going to find out.”

The same adrenalin that had shaken me out of my stupor, now worked for Catch as she started to grab her things from around the room. I marched over to the door to buy Catch some time to pack our things up.

I opened the door to reveal the impatient royal guards and their leader. “If you’re here about the noise complaints, then tell that mare she doesn’t appreciate real music.” I leaned against the door. “Seriously if she doesn’t like classical music, then she’s living in the wrong city.”

“Time Turner: you are under arrest for fraud. Do you have anything to say in your defence?” the Lieutenant parroted the same speech from last time.

I looked up and down while making a show of trying to place his face, “Shining Armour, right?”

The guard narrowed his eyes and spoke with a harsh tone. “Lieutenant Shining Armor. Last night you charged this room and expenses to Prince Blueblood the Fifty Second, to the sum total of six hundred and forty seven bits. The charge against you is defrauding a member of the royal family, how do you plead?”

“You know it’s actually pronounced Armour, with the ur sound at the end.” I pointed a hoof at the engraving on his nameplate that spelt “Armor”. “So your nameplate is missing a ‘u’ after the ‘o’ there.”

“It’s spelt properly, it’s my name, I should know,” Armour replied unamused.

“Yet, you still say Armour, complete with the ur sound at the end,” I countered using a deliberately patronizing tone. “Not Armor with an or sound at the end.”

“That doesn’t matter to me, because I’m here to escort you to the palace,” Armour said firmly.

An incredulous look crossed my face, “no I’m not, not while this travesty of good grammar still exists.”

Frustration crossed Armour’s cool exterior, it’s like somepony had never spoken back to him before. Righteous types like him are never wrong, and if they are then reality simply has to change.

“Why does this even matter to you?” Armour asked tersely.

I brought a hoof to my chest in mock shock. “Sir of course it matters to me, I am from Trottingham: the home of Spear Carrier, the greatest bard who ever lived. Haven’t you heard the play Macintosh? Or even Hamlet, the story of the young boar who avenges the death of his father at the tusks of his uncle?”

I snorted and continued my righteous tirade. “These classics of literature were created and first performed in Trottingham, where we honour the written word and its proper usage. Even though you Canterlot types have dropped the u from so many words, just to save time when setting movable type in presses.”

Armour’s face was now a mix of frustration with anger starting to creep in, his eye was even starting to twitch. With a bit more effort I bet I could drive him into an apoplectic fit of impotent rage.

Then Lucky Catch appeared behind me with a cheerful smile on her face, “I’ve got everything packed up, I’ve got your saddlebags right here.” She lifted the brown bags onto my back. “And your fedora,” she said, before placing it carefully on my head.

“Thank you, Catch. I believe these fine stallions are escorting us to the palace,” I said with a smile. “Shall we?” Catch nodded and I led the way out as the two of us walked past Armour and his guards toward the elevator.

I looked over my shoulder toward the lieutenant. “Coming Armour? I thought you were going to escort us to the palace.” I was rewarded with a view of the young lieutenant as the blood rushed to his face and the twitch in his eye spread to his entire body, his mouth not speaking but simply mouthing half formed invectives toward me. I savoured the sweet vision of apoplectic victory as we entered the elevator.

The walk toward the palace yielded no more attention from Shining Armour, he seemed determined to ignore me so long as I followed. I still basked in my victory though, getting a rise from a guard was priceless.

“Timey,” Catch asked quietly as we walked together. “Why are we going with them?”

I shrugged, “There was only one way out of that suite and these fine gentle colts were standing in it. Unless you somehow had a way of growing Pegasus wings in a hurry, they had us bottled up.” Catch gave me an unsure smile. “Don’t worry Catch. I doubt anyone asked Blueblood about this, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. They have nothing to charge us with really and they can’t hold us for longer than two days without the Prince or Princess saying so.”

The lieutenant led us to the Palace and along a downward ramp that led away from the main hall down into the mountain side. The Palace dungeons are rarely used and usually just provide temporary containment for a criminal until the Princess could work out a suitable punishment (1). Imagine my surprise when I found that the dungeons weren’t entirely unoccupied.

Armour turned us over the dungeon guard and he led us into a corridor with six individual stalls, three on each side. He locked me and Catch up separately next to each other, in view of the occupant of a cell on the other side of the hallway.

Inside lay a diamond dog with a mixed brown and white coat, he had been stripped of his formal vest but retained the demeanour that came with it. “So what brings you to the dungeons to join poor Ruff? I take it that my master has forsaken you as well.”

“No just a misunderstanding with the guard, I’m innocent,” I replied in a jovial tone.

“I believe I have read somewhere that all ponies insist they are innocent when locked up,” Ruff said with a suffered sigh. “I suppose it’s more believable from a pony than a dog.”

“Why are you here,” Catch asked. “I thought you were Blueblood’s servant.”

“The guards raided my hoard.” Ruff explained and he threw himself onto his cot. “Apparently somepony told them that I was stealing gems from my master. The ones that they claim were stolen, were all paid to me as part of my service to the master and earned by my effort in his name. He claims that he never paid them to me and that I had stolen them, so now I wait here for the celestial one to dole out justice.”

“When were you arrested? I asked. I thought Celestia was quick to judge in these situations.”

“This morning as I woke to fetch breakfast for my master, the delay has been caused by the celestial one’s preparations for the celebration tomorrow. It is likely we shall be stuck here until they conclude tomorrow afternoon.” The dog laid on his bunk and stared at the ceiling.

Thinking on these words, I leaned against the bars of my cell in an attempt to try and see Catch. “Catch come over here.”

She came over to the edge of her cell, separated from me by the marble stone wall. “Are we going to have to wait as long as he says?” she asked me through the bars quietly.

“Armour’s in no rush to fetch Blueblood for us,” I explained, including a roll of my eyes she couldn’t see. “We might be stuck down here for longer than that, even if we’re entirely innocent.”

“So how do we let him know?”

“We’ll probably have to get out of here first.” I tapped a hoof against the bars in thought.

“How can we do that?” she hissed back. “We’re locked in here with a guard outside.”

“A lone, bored, inept guard. I think I can deal with that.” I started to make a plan.

The guard walked into the hallway following the sound of laughter, his white wings were held at his side and probably itching to be used.

“… so the bar-mare says, ‘of course, do you think I would have married him otherwise?’” Catch broke out in laughter again and I followed by chucking at my own joke.

The guard eventually arrived and stood across from our cells, we stopped talking under his gaze. “Don’t stop on my account,” he mentioned before returning to his alert stance right across from us.

I took the guard’s advice and continued.“Alright Catch here’s a riddle: ‘You buck a purple rock into a yellow river, what happens?’”

Catch hummed over it for a minute, “It turns brown?”

“Nope,” I replied in my best Big Mac impression.

While Catch thought over it the guard answered it instead. “It makes a splash.”

I nodded at the guard. “Correct, alright here’s another: ‘Say my name and I disappear, what am I?’”

“Silence,” the guard answered without hesitation. “That’s a popular one amongst the guards.”

“You’re good at this,” I complemented the guard, “Here’s another just for you:"

"Every dawn begins with me,

At dusk I'll be the first you see.

And daybreak couldn't come without,

What midday centres all about.

Daises grow from me, I'm told.

And when I come, I end all cold.

But in the sun I won't be found,

Yet still, each day I'll be around.”

The guard thought hard on this one, the only sign of the thoughts crossing his mind was the movement of his eyes as he tried to figure it out. “Princess Celestia,” he answered.

“Not quite but a good guess, the answer is the letter d.”

The guard stamped a hoof against the ground and shook his head, A wide smile crossing his face. “Alright tell me that one again, I want to try that one on the other guards. I don’t think anypony will get it.” I did as he asked and retold him the riddle so he could commit it to memory.

“Thank you, now I have one for you,” the guard mentioned and I nodded to let him start.

“My days are in the summer,

Where battles tough are fought.

But when you find me in a fight,

It will be high in the sky

and if you catch me napping,

I suggest you let me lie.”

I thought about this one for a while but it continued to elude me. Eventually Catch chimed in, “It’s a dog.”

The guard nodded in response, “well done.”

We sat like this: joking, telling riddles and occasionally stories for the better part of an hour. Eventually Catch’s stomach growled and reminded me that we had missed out on our breakfast.

Our guard moved toward the door. “I was supposed to arrange your lunch a while ago, so I’ll just go find out what the kitchens have for you. I’ll be back soon.” The guard left the hallway as Catch and I waved goodbye.

We waited several minutes for the hoof steps to fade into the distance. Once he was gone I looked over at Ruff, “Did you get them?”

“Of course,” the diamond dog held out a ring with a set of keys. “Thank you for keeping him distracted. I must say that I enjoyed those riddles he told, especially that dog one.” Ruff used the keys to open his door with a few deft movements of his paws. Once out of his cell he came across to open both Catch’s and mine.

“Thank you, Ruff.” I stretched my limbs out. “I don’t suppose you know a way out of here?”

“There is an entrance to the service passages ten pony lengths down the hall on the left once you leave the dungeons,” he combined his instructions with pointed gestures.”

“Alright one last thing before we leave, where’s my hat?” I asked as I started to look around. Armour was the good little guard officer and took my stuff away when locked us up.

“I think I saw a chest when we came in,” Catch said. “Over into the guard room.”

“Right,” I said as I walked out of the dungeon and into the guard post. Catch followed me and walked over to the chest she saw earlier. It was a rather simple wooden chest with a metal lock engraved with the word “evidence”. It didn’t even look particularly solid and I’d wager a swift buck from an earth pony would break the chest in half. As tempting as it was to test my theory, we did have the keys available. I called Ruff over to open the lock, reuniting us with our gear.

“That should be it, Ruff would you—“my ears flicked as a heard the sound of hooves approaching. “Everypony back into the cells.” We all returned to our unlocked cells as the guard returned. He trotted in with a large bowl held between his wings, containing a large pile of oats and a netted bag of apples hung from his mouth.

“Unusual to have so many ponies down here at once, this was the best we could do on short notice.” He set the bowls down before reaching out onto his armour to get his keys. “Hang on, where are my keys? I could have sworn…”

“You left them behind actually,” I admitted as I stood behind him. The guard’s head swung around and his wings opened as he turned to face me, shock turning to determination on his face.

I held out a hoof toward him, “Time Turner, Detective and currently employed by Prince Blueblood.” The guard raised an eyebrow and I continued, “There was a misunderstanding and I was wrongfully imprisoned.”

“Everypony says that down here,” the guard returned.

“Normally you would be right. In this case I have been accused of defrauding my employer by Lieutenant Shining Armour and he has arrested me without checking it with Blueblood first.”

“If you have a problem with Shining Armor you should make a formal complaint to the Captain, not break out of your cell.” The guard's voice became more strained as he bit at straws.

“My work for the Prince is time sensitive, I can’t wait for a complaint to go up the chain of command. If Blueblood knew I was down here he’d release me immediately. Once I see him again I’ll obtain a full pardon and make sure you are not blamed for our escape.” I gave him an unnerving smile. “I’m a specialist, so you couldn’t be expected to actually be able to keep me imprisoned anyway.”

The guard backed away a few steps, his rear hoof bumped against the bowl of oats and he started in shock at the touch. The guard cornered by somepony, who somehow managed to escape from his cell and isn’t even afraid of retribution. I suppose I may have been a little intimidating.

I changed my approach to be more friendly. “Well since you were so kind to bring so much food back, I suppose we can’t let it go to waste. Have a seat and we’ll join you for another game of riddles over lunch.”

The guard calmed down over our shared bowl of oats with an extra apple each. Despite not having an appetite for oats, Ruff was happy enough to share a few riddles from his own home with us and we took the edge off the guard as we progressed.

‘Alive without breath,

As cold as death.

Clad in mail never clinking,

Never thirsty, ever drinking.’

“A fish,” the guard answered and Ruff gave a nod to the guard for answering correctly.

“I never knew Diamond Dogs were so good with riddles,” I said as we finished another round. The bowls had all been emptied as we sat on the dungeon floor together.

“Normally we are not, “ Ruff admitted as he rubbed his paws together. “However as in the guard barracks, the servants also enjoy riddles that we tell to each other as we each await a mistresses’ call.”

The guard gave a nod. “It is the doing of the Princess, she enjoys speaking in riddles and testing us all with new ones as we escort her during her duties. No guard has ever yet managed to find one she does not know (2).”

“That makes sense, I nodded as I thought about it. “Now, I believe I should be getting back to what Blueblood is paying me for. You ready to go Catch?”

Catch gave me a nod and “uh huh.”

“It’s been a pleasure…” I stopped as I tried to remember the name. “Huh, I don’t think we actually asked your name.”

“It’s Corporal Iron Barding,” he said with a casual salute before holding a hoof out.

I bumped the extended hoof, “We should do this again sometime. If you’re ever in Ponyville, feel free to stop by.”

We stood to leave, but Barding held up a hoof to stop us. “I’m afraid I can’t let the dog go. The Prince himself ordered his arrest.”

Nodding in understanding, I turned to the dog. “In that case, Ruff. I can’t let you come with us either.”

“But I’m innocent,” he whimpered. “And I helped you get the keys.”

“But I’m working for Blueblood,” I replied. “It’s a conflict of interest for me to take you. But I can promise I’ll do everything within my power to prove you're innocent. Tell me where your hoard is and I’ll look into it.”

“The south tower, my quarters are beneath Blueblood’s royal apartment.”

I nodded, “I’ll do my best to get you released, in the meantime you can share a few more riddles with Iron Barding here.” Ruff said his thanks and returned to his cell, Barding also gave us a friendly wave as we left.

“I’ve never heard of somepony using friendship to escape a dungeon,” Catch muttered with a shake of her head.

“You say that like you’re surprised Catch.” I replied as I looked over my shoulder back at her. We were back in the service tunnels and traveling along the marked path that led to the south tower.

“Well, considering what a loner you used to be.”

I shrugged. “I blame Ponyville, since moving there I’ve been a lot more open. The place tends to rub off on you, I swear the most reclusive pony in Equestria could move there and become a social butterfly within days.”

Catch gave me a skeptical look. Of course I found out later that Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn that sequestered herself in an ivory tower of all places, was in Ponyville proving me right.

“Well I like the friendlier you,” Catch said with a smile before a thought crossed her face. “Would you have done the same if you were an actual criminal trying to escape a dungeon?”

“Do you think really think I would have deceived a poor guard with an offer of friendship, just to escape, if I were an actual criminal?” I asked in a scandalized tone.

“In a heartbeat.”

“You know me so well, Lucky Catch.”

As I expected, the trip to the south tower wasn’t interrupted by any member of the Royal Guard. Despite traveling the entire length of the Royal Palace through the service tunnels, we never once saw a guard patrolling them. It just goes to show that the guards are primarily there to be seen, rather than actually do anything other than hide the few competent guards in a crowd.

The traffic within the service passages was sparse once we reached the southern wing and we didn’t even see anypony once we started the climb the tower. The reason was made plain as we climbed, the main ramp outside was a gentle spiral but the service passage was a steep staircase. I supposed a biped, like a diamond dog, would have found it easier to climb.

“Why,” Catch asked between gasps. “Are you taking us to Ruff’s quarters anyway?”

I stopped on the next step to rest for a minute to breathe and talk to Catch. “Ruff was arrested, right now of all times. What do you think that could mean?”

“Uh, that Ruff is a terrible servant and stole gems?” Catch asked with a shrug. The kind of question asked when somepony doesn’t know what to ask.

“It’s too perfectly timed to even be a coincidence.” I rubbed a fetlock across my forehead. “No, I think somepony is trying to get Ruff out of the way, and I want to find out why.”

“Any idea who it is?” Catch asked with a tilt of her head.

“A few, though it’s probably better to narrow down the list.” I chuckled to myself. “If I start accusing somepony on a hunch other ponies will think I’m crazy.” I caught a cute look from Catch. “Well, unless I’m trying to get somepony to say something stupid, then I’m the good crazy.”

Eventually we reached the Ruff’s quarters located directly below Blueblood’s chambers, next to the servants entrance to the Prince’s chambers. We stood by the door and I looked at Catch, she gave me a nod. I opened the door with a swift buck, expecting a normal apartment but we were greeted with a stranger sight. Ruff’s quarters consisted of a single room that was entirely unfurnished, save a massive pile of gemstones. The gem pile had been compacted in places where Ruff had clearly sat and probably even slept.

“Wow,” was all either Catch or I could say.

“Does he?” Catch asked.

“Probably,” I replied.

“That’s… a bit weird.”

“Diamond Dogs, weird is probably understating it. You’d probably stand a better chance of convincing a griffon to give up meat then making sense of what a dog could possibly see in this (3).”

I sighed, “Alright let’s take a look around. I’ll go left and you take right, let me know if you find anything.” We started to walk around the gem pile, stopping occasionally to shift a few gems. I could name a dozen colours of stone, ranging from amethyst to zircon.

I shook my head in disgust, this pile was easily worth more than ten thousand bits. Ruff was just sitting on this hoard like a dragon, without even the excuse of being able to eat gems.

“Find anything yet Catch?” I called out.

“I don’t think so,” she called back. “What should we be looking for?”

“Anything out of place or a reason for Ruff to be arrested.”

“Apart from the pile of gems you mean?” Catch retorted.

I started to laugh at the absurd situation, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. “Any unusual gems then?” I called as I scanned the pile again with my eyes.

“There’s the big one at the top,” Catch replied. I looked up, a large formation of pointed rock sat at the top of the pile. Curious, I began to climb the pile to get a closer look, struggling to make any headway as the gems I stepped on slid down the pile.

Once I was at the top, I took a closer look at the large formation. Unlike the rest of the pile it wasn’t a gemstone, but a large crystal formation with a couple of spires.

“It’s not anything special, Catch. It’s just a large piece of quartz.” One of the most common forms of crystal, milky white quartz isn’t very valuable. This kind of crystal was normally used in cheap jewellery or as a pointed surface.

Catch looked up toward me from the base of the pile, “Then why is it on top?”

“No idea,” I said as I considered it. The formation was on the best spot on the pile for some reason or other. I moved to push it down the pile but the gems beneath me moved and gave way. I caught a hoof around the crystal as I ended up rolling down toward the ground and struck my head against the floor.

Images swam before my eyes and as they came back into focus. I found I was no longer in Ruff’s quarters, I was outside looking at the sky while lying in a field of grass.

I turned my head to get my bearings and spotted something impossible. A familiar statue was beside me, sitting on the edge of its pedestal as it looked down into my eyes.

“Well, well, well, we meet again little colt.”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Most criminals in Equestria are simply made to apologise to their victims, repay any damages and them perform some community service before their record is wiped clean. Serious crimes can result in banishment or, in the worst cases, they are simply petrified and/or sent to Tartarus.

(2) The game of riddles is older than us or our sister, and we have spent much time trading them between us. Our sister is unlikely to admit that her habit of sharing them with her guards is probably a method of coping with our absence.

(3) The reason for the Diamond Dog love of gemstones has never been fully explained. They persist in having an insatiable desire for them, yet they serve no practical need. This desire probably the same as a pony using gemstones for cosmetic value, only more intense in the case of the dog.

Chapter 6: Nightmare Falls

“Discord!”

The statue gasped in mock shock as he brought a claw to cover his heart. “You finally figured out what I am. Congratulations on solving that case detective, brilliant work there. I’m only the prize exhibit in the world’s largest statue garden with the name emblazoned in big friendly letters on the pedestal.” The statue bent over and swept a claw across the pedestal that suddenly lit up in neon lights to proclaim the name “Discord”.

“You’ve always treated me with such disrespect.” Its tone shifted to faux sadness, “It’s been rather hurtful to tell the truth, especially after all those times that I helped you.”

“Helped me?” I responded skeptically as I remembered our initial encounter. “ You cursed me to ‘live in interesting times’, how does as curse translate to help?”

“A curse?” It spoke, followed by a snort of laughter. It stood up and jumped down from the pedestal and walked around me. “Oh please, you wouldn’t understand a curse if it danced in front of you waving Celestia’s mane around.” He snapped his fingers and the same mane appeared on his head. “I gave you a blessing that removed you from the boring mundane and thrust you into—“the statue had brought a paw through the mane cascading from its head. “Hmm how does Celestia do this, it’s rather soft…”

“How in that twisted mind of yours do you consider this a blessing?” I asked, losing patience with the statue’s antics.

Its attention returned to me. “Well, I daresay I’ve made your life much more interesting and successful. After all you did decide to call yourself a ‘Discordian Detective’, how did you come up with that name anyway? Because it sounded cool? In that case I’m the prince of coolness,” he boasted as he put on a set of sunglasses.

“You know you look ridiculous with that mane and those glasses together,” I said to the creature as it started to recline on thin air.

“Why tank you,” it said snapping its paw. A glass aquarium appeared out of thin air and fell over me, trapping me inside. Discord laughed as goldfish swam circles through the air around me.

“You’ve been a rather interesting diversion for me, helping you solve all those cases by subtly influencing the threads of fate around you,” It said is it twirled streamers through the air. “It’s as much as I can do in this pathetic state, so you’ve been a wonderful source of entertainment.”

It walked over and stuck its head through the side of the fish tank. “So I’m giving you this little hint: What you have stumbled upon causes shadow to fall, threatens with a magic nearly lost to the ages and can only be truly mastered by those with dreams of power.”

The statue stood up and lifted the tank up away from me. “I shall be seeing you again soon little colt. Do try to remember what I’ve told you.” It shook the tank it held above me, creating a torrent of cold water to fall out and hit me in the face.

The impact knocked me over and I could feel myself rolling down a hill with far too many points on it. My vision swam as it slowly returned and I found myself back in Ruff’s quarters, instead of facing Discord’s hospitality.

Then I head somepony crying, I looked up to see where the sound came from and saw Lucky Catch sitting on top of the pile. Her hoof held against the crystal as it pulsed with a dark purple light, the other hoof stretched out in the direction I had fallen.

Tears were falling from her eyes as she cried, “Time Turner, no…” I started to climb toward her, the gems falling away beneath me as I tried to climb faster. As I got closer I noticed her eyes had turned green and she stared off into the distance. The few blinks of her eyelids matched by pulses from the crystal.

“Timey, don’t leave me,” she wailed as fresh tears fell from her eyes.

I scrambled to summit of the pile and did the only sensible thing that occurs to an earth pony in the face of the unknown. I turned around and bucked the crystal as hard as I could.

I couldn’t remember what happened next, as far as I could tell the crystal shattered under the force of my hooves and released the magic contained within. That magic blasted out in a wave from the broken crystal, throwing us away and demolishing the gem pile. As I lay on the ground I suddenly felt weary, the stress and lack of sleep from the last two days building up to carry me off into a dreamless sleep.

Once again I drifted back to consciousness, my eyes complaining about the light in the room as I brought a hoof to cover my face. I rolled over onto my side, feeling each gemstone that I had been lying on. I yawned as my body started to properly wake up. I felt like I’d been asleep for hours.

I looked around to see the room had been trashed, gemstones were scattered everywhere from the blast. I trudged around the room looking for Lucky Catch, calling out several times before I heard a faint response. I found Catch buried under a small pile of gems, waking up from her own rest.

Once she returned to lucidity she wrapped her arms around me and dragged me down into a hug. “Time Turner, I had the worst dream.”

“I had one too, Catch,” I reassured with a pat on her head. “Something in that crystal caused them.”

Catch was lost in thought for a moment and brought a hoof to her mouth as she remembered. “It did something to you, I ran up to push you away from it and it—“Catch didn’t elaborate further.

I looked around and spotted a shard from the crystal lying in reach. I turned the shard over with a hoof and nothing happened, clearly whatever power lay within it was long gone. I recalled the words Discord had spoken to me, ‘causes shadow to fall, a lost threat wielded by ponies dreaming of power.’

“Catch, do you remember the legend Twilight Sparkle told us?”

“It was about how the Panther was a guardian that betrayed its master, right?” Catch answered as she brought herself back to her hooves.

“It was a guardian against ‘creatures of the night, the forces of darkness and those that hide in shadow’,” I quoted. “It certainly seemed to be guarding Blueblood last night.” I brought the crystal shard over so Catch could look at it. “I’m not a unicorn so I couldn’t tell you what kind of magic it was, but it seemed dark and shadowy enough.”

Catch looked up at the ceiling. “Aren’t we beneath Prince Blueblood’s chambers?” I nodded. “So if that crystal had… shadow magic in it, wouldn’t the panther feel it?”

I gave my assistant a very genuine grin. “You’re getting better at this, Catch.” Her face utterly glowed with the praise I’d given her, somehow I knew she’d treasure this moment forever.

I turned the crystal over. “I think this crystal was charged with dark power and planted to summon the Panther. Wherever the Prince went I’m sure Ruff probably took this with him when he followed his master, since it was on top of the pile it had to be his favourite.”

“So, Ruff was responsible?” Catch asked, to her credit she didn’t look like she believed that either. Her tone was that of a pony knowing they’re asking a stupid question, nothing wrong with that.

“Somehow I doubt Ruff can cast magic like this.” Catch gave me a shrug, “He’s been arrested too, so he’s the patsy not the mastermind.”

“So a unicorn then,” Catch reasoned. “Any idea who it is?”

“I have a couple of ideas.” I gave her a sly smile. “But I’ll let you keep guessing.”

Catch gave me an unamused look and snorted. “You don’t know yet either, do you?” Poor filly looked like I just offered her ice-cream and then took it away. I couldn’t give her all the answers.

“I can’t be sure until I confront him. First though I need to find Blueblood, so I can let him know his panther problem is gone. Then I’ll find the mastermind and hold him down while you give him a good kicking,” I added with a wink.

We left the gem vault and climbed up the narrow stairway to Blueblood’s chambers. Just outside the door I stopped Catch and said, “Let me go first.” If we got jumped by an overzealous guard I could just hit the reset.

I opened the door and entered Blueblood’s opulently decorated room. Just a brief look around and I was flabbergasted, most of the contents were made of actual gold. The walls were covered in portraits of Blueblood himself and his predecessors in dramatic poses or proving their worth as stallions. The mantelpiece was covered in trophies and an entire wall was taken up by a huge wardrobe.

Catch walked in behind me and simply said “wow.” It was the right word to describe this monument to a stallion’s ego, vanity, pride, greed and pettiness (1).

A more discerning look also showed what I had missed before, Blueblood wasn’t here. I went across the room to a gem encrusted window and looked out onto the city of Canterlot below. Night had fallen and the moon was at its highest point, the mare stood out on the surface of the full moon.

Down in the field between the Palace and the City itself a large party was underway. I shook my head in disbelief at the sight, It was the middle of the night on the eve of the summer sun celebration. The exploding crystal had knocked us out for eight or so hours. Well, at least it explained why I felt so well rested.

“That’s a big party.” Catch stood beside me looking down through the glass at the festivities below. “I think that might be Vinyl on stage down there.”

I leant against the glass and looked down as well. I could barely see the pony on stage and couldn’t quite make out her mane colour in this light, but the white coat was a match for the DJ that detested me. “Well, she does go where the party is.” I looked back at the opulent room again. “Somehow I doubt Blueblood went down to enjoy Vinyl’s music, he can afford better.”

“There’s supposed to be a party for the nobility and their invited guests,” Catch said. “But nopony knows where it is unless you’ve been invited.”

I groaned, “Paranoid nobles wearing their very best.” I tapped a hoof against the glass. “We need somepony that can get us into that party. Who do we know that we can bribe, threaten, cajole or ask nicely for guest passes?”

We both thought for a moment before we came to the answer at the same time: “Octavia.”

This late at night we made no attempt at concealing our passage as we travelled toward the palace entrance. We walked in a brisk canter toward entrance without even a single guard looking at us twice. It never seemed like the guards ever did anything anyway, Equestria hadn’t faced a major threat in centuries.

We quickly left the palace and entered the kingdom of noise ruled by the increasingly popular Vinyl Scratch. My ears had clamped themselves against my skull in a vain attempt to spare me from the audible torture being inflicted on them. Thankfully my business wasn’t with Vinyl, just her marefriend.

We skirted the party and travelled around to the back of the stage where I expected to find our refined friend in charge of the festivities. We ignored the stage guards completely as we passed them. We were backstage before they even realised somepony had actually looked at their intimidating forms and then ignored them entirely.

Octavia, the infamous first chair cello of the Canterlot Symphony—and former gangster—was standing on a soapbox issuing orders to a small herd of ponies. We joined the back of the herd to listen in.

“…At the start of the next set, Miss Scratch wants a heavy mist to cross the stage.” Octavia pointed down into the crowd. “You two, position yourselves to fan the mist out onto the stage with some wind.” A pair of pegasi saluted and flew off. “You four, get the dry ice out of the box and start using it when Miss Scratch signals during the end of her current set. On the second signal start the pyrotechnics, Vinyl will direct them herself. Any questions?” No pony dared to raise a hoof. “Good, now get to it.”

The rest of the herd scattered away from Octavia’s soap box and left Catch and me the only ponies standing near Octavia herself. I clapped my fore hooves together to applaud Octavia’s imposing leadership skills, enhanced as they were by the box.

I received one of Octavia’s patented derisive looks as she noticed our presence. “I must say I am surprised to see you here, Time Turner.” Octavia stepped down from her box and approached me, “I thought you would not want to miss the celebration in Ponyville.” She stopped in front of me, turned and gave a smile to my assistant. “Especially when our dear Lucky Catch, travelled so far to join you.”

“It’s good to see you again, Octavia,” Catch replied with a smile. “Let’s just say Time’s plans tend to change.”

“Amazing pun right there.” I said with a roll of my eyes. “A few more like that and I’ll be lucky to catch you when you fall over your clever tongue.”

“So you can still add a turn to a phrase, detective,” Octavia said at me.

“Just like…” I came to a halt, my brow creasing in thought. “Octavia… I can’t do anything with that, what is an octave anyway?”

Octavia and Catch both laughed lightly at my confusion. “It’s good to see you two again,” Octavia said with a rare smile crossing her face. “Considering that you came to see me now I’m guessing that you probably want something from me, am I right?”

“Can’t get anything past you can I?” I asked rhetorically. “I’m currently working for Prince Blueblood and I need to find him quickly. He should be at the little get together the Nobility are attending tonight.”

“And we figured you would be on the guest list,” Catch added.

The derisive look returned to Octavia’s face. “You want me to abandon the management of the single largest public event of the year, into the capable hooves of Vinyl I might add, to take you to a party?”

‘Well, when she puts it that way,’ I thought. ‘I suppose her reputation is at stake, I’d hate to have Vinyl in charge of mine.’ “I’ll return the favour at some point. Let me know if you need something and if I can do it, I’ll do it.”

Octavia’s face took a turn for the contemplative. Her eyes ran up and down me for a few moments, as a smile began to cross her face. I felt weirdly exposed, like she was weighing me up for a competition or something.

“So, you’ll do anything?” Octavia’s tone only worsened my discomfort.

“As long as I doesn’t hurt or kill me,” I replied somewhat reluctantly.

“You might just enjoy it, Turner.” Octavia glanced toward Catch; I turned to look as well and noticed my assistant had moved a little closer to me. “One issue, Turner,” Octavia continued. “I am afraid my invitation stipulates that I can only attend with one additional guest.”

“Ah, that is an issue.” I rubbed a fetlock across my forehead.

Catch gave me a thin smile. “I suppose I can wait outside.”

“Actually,” Octavia cut in. “I would prefer it if Catch remained here.” I raised an eyebrow. “Vinyl is occupied performing on stage and does not have the time to direct the stage crew. It would be better for somepony she knows to remain here to relay her directions.”

Catch raised a hoof. “Considering what I’ve done to Vinyl are you sure she’ll be okay with me doing that?” Considering that Vinyl had been a target for Catch’s temper on a few occasions, I wouldn’t surprise me if Vinyl demanded somepony else.

“Not an issue,” Octavia reassure as the waved for Catch to put her hoof down. “I shall have a word with Vinyl before we depart, believe me, she will be okay with it.”

I leant over to whisper in Catch’s ear, “Guess who the stallion in their relationship is.” Catch snorted and started to giggle, while Octavia gave us a derisive glare.

I left the party with Octavia, leaving Lucky Catch in control of one of the biggest events in the calendar. Octavia assured us that it was well within Catch’s abilities to deal with, noting wryly that “Catch’s ability to herd cats left her uniquely suited to the role”.

Octavia was wearing her pink bowtie—a Rarity original—and had quickly brought her appearance to the impeccable standard that she usually maintained. I regretfully returned my fedora to my bags and left them with Catch, putting on a green tie that she’d bought for me as an anniversary present. If you’re wondering I returned the favour by giving Catch one of my pendulum clocks, it was a good thing I had one of my best designs in stock.

According to Octavia the noble get together was located in one of Canterlot’s oldest—and most exclusive—neighbourhoods, near the palace and a short five minute canter away.

“It is rather fortunate you are coming with me for this, Turner,” Octavia mentioned as we turned into the perfectly manicured district.

I looked back with a raised eyebrow, “how so, Octavia?”

“Well, after the… incident two years ago,” she said. “I have been absolutely inundated with rumours and inquires about the ‘tan stallion’ I embraced in front of the greater part of the Canterlot nobility.”

“I thought the rumours were what you wanted out of that.”

“Quite, the rumours are incredibly persistent and have kept any suspicion over my relationship with Vinyl fully repressed (2).” The smile she gave me was stripped of her normal control, giving me a hint of the true Octavia that she kept hidden under her outer shell. “It’s something I’m still thankful for.”

“But you want to reinforce those rumours with another appearance.” I returned to looking straight ahead down the path. “You could have asked sooner, I would have been happy to discount my hourly rate.”

“Then you do not object to briefly mingling at the party as my ‘coltfriend’.”

I closed my eyes so I could roll them without her seeing it. “Does this count as me returning the favour?”

“I would prefer to ‘save’ that for something else.” Octavia kept her face blank as I watched.

“Well, then make sure we ‘mingle’ past the hors d'oeuvres table a few times then.”

“Deal,” she said as the unrestricted smile returned to her face.

I was surprised to find myself enjoying the experience. We were quickly admitted to the party and the pair of us had made our way to the central ballroom of the venue. There was some surprise among the guests to see Octavia with her scarcely seen coltfriend, which quickly turned to curiosity.

Octavia led the conversations while I occasionally introduced jokes, witticisms and the occasional pun. In quiet moments we broke off to visit the snack table a half dozen times and I found myself sampling more flowers from the endangered flora list. It was a shame that Vinyl couldn’t do this with Octavia instead, because she was enjoying this more than she would admit.

Eventually Octavia decided she wanted to dance and dragged me the centre of the ballroom to prance around to the sound of a classical quartet. We balanced against one another as we rose up onto two hooves to dance as a pair. Octavia was much more graceful than me on two legs, primarily from her experience playing her cello. The occasional trip up from me was corrected by a quick reset.

During our dance we had the opportunity to talk privately and I made use of the chance. “Octavia, have you seen Prince Blueblood anywhere yet?”

“Unfortunately not,” Octavia replied. “The prince is probably somewhere more secluded.”

“How do we find him then?” I asked as we spun again.

“The host of the party would probably know where the important guests are.”

“Who’s hosting?”

“A unicorn stallion named Fabulator.” My eyebrows bounced up at Octavia’s response.

“You know him?” Octavia asked.

“We met briefly, what can you tell me about him?” I asked as I scanned the crowd for Fabulator.

Octavia’s eyes flicked up as she thought about it, simultaneously dancing to the music. “Not much, he’s only a minor noble. I think this estate is the only land he owns, but he is supposed to be a respected investor. Tonight is probably an opportunity to increase his standing within the noble hierarchy.”

“A shameless play for power,” I muttered. “The political game goes on.”

We continued to dance for a few more spins, covertly looking over each other’s shoulders, but neither of us could find Fabulator in the crowd. It was time for a new plan. “So, it doesn’t look like he’s here.” I gave the room a more overt glance. “We need him to find us instead, any ideas?”

“He is tonight’s host, so anything that happens during the festivities is his responsibility.” Octavia’s eyes glazed over while she instinctively let the music carry her dance, her mind deep in thought. My mind was also starting to put forward ideas, most of which I dismissed outright. This plan needed to be party appropriate, because Octavia’s reputation was on the line as well.

“Well I’ve got nothing,” I admitted. “Everything I can think of would probably ruin your reputation, get us arrested, excommunicated or all of the above.”

“The Detective is stymied by such a small problem?” Octavia teased. “Here I thought you were fantastic chess player.” Her face took on an uncharacteristic smirk.

I was tempted to jump back and let her fall over, just to create a scene to get the host’s attention but decided against it. “I hate chess. It’s been played for so long that almost every strategy has a known counter and all creativity has been lost in the game.” I snorted my disapproval. “It’s just too limited for me, like this party.”

“Well, then I shall just have to do something drastic then.” She leaned and drew our dance toward the stage where the quartet was playing. When we reached the stage she put me down and climbed onto the stage to whisper into the ears of the quartet. Once Octavia finished her request the tuba player nodded, the rest of the group stopped playing as the tuba released a short series of notes.

The entire room came to a halt as the room started to focus on us. Octavia extended a hoof down to me and helped bring me up onto the stage in front of everypony. As my dance partner gave a clear “ahem” to make an announcement I noticed more ponies entering the room. The sudden stop in the music had gotten the attention of the entire party.

“Ladies and gentle colts,” Octavia declared. “It is my most sincere pleasure to finally introduce you all my special somepony, Time Turner.”

I’d been so focused on searching the room I’d barely heard the announcement. My head twitched in shock as I thought I’d heard Octavia admit to being in a relationship with me. Just to be sure I hadn’t misheard I said “reset” and replayed the announcement, listening with my full attention.

‘Lucky Catch is going to kill Octavia,’ I realized with horror. ‘And then Vinyl Scratch will come after me.’

Oblivious to the panic she was causing to me Octavia continued, spouting about how I inspired her work and that her music was timed to a metronome I’d made for her. The crowd was absolutely enraptured by Octavia’s voice and more than a few of the stallions were looking at me with envy.

Just as Octavia was about to announce “our” plans for the future, I was saved by the twit. “Stop right there!” came a commanding voice as the crowd parted to reveal its owner. Shining Armour, pride of the sleepy guard paraded toward me in full dress uniform. The nameplate on his uniform still said Armor, so much for my attempts at teaching him how to spell.

I brought a hoof to my face. “What do you want Armour?” I groaned, while making sure to add emphasis to the ‘ur’ sound in his name.

“Time Turner, you are under arrest for the crimes of: Escaping custody, insulting an officer of the guard and tax evasion.”

“My tax returns are completely legal,” I countered. “And if you can’t take little jab like a stallion then you have no place in the guard, let alone an officer’s rank.”

“In that case, would you like to tell everypony how you escaped from the palace dungeons?” Armour’s question surprised me, specifically the fact he noticed that I didn’t deny escaping custody.

“I’ve got friends in the right places, Shiny,” I said as a put an infuriating smile on my face. “You didn’t have the right to arrest me anyway, so why don’t you just turn around and walk away before you make more of a fool out of yourself.”

Shining Armour was about to respond with whatever witty retort he could think of when he was interrupted by a hoof on his shoulder. The guard turned to look into the unamused face of Fabulator.

“That’s enough, Lieutenant.” The noble’s voice brooked no argument. “We’re going to clear up this misunderstanding, right now. I’m sure the Prince is going to be pleased with you.” Fabulator turned his attention to me and Octavia, his face switched to a friendly neutral. “Also, congratulations to you two. Please follow me and the lieutenant.”

We followed Fabulator and Armour out of the ballroom, the guard held his head down and his tail close. As soon as we left the room the music restarted and the party continued as if it hadn’t been interrupted, although the conversation probably took on a new topic.

Fabulator led us all upstairs, past several rooms to a private balcony that held a commanding view looking south over the palace gardens toward Ponyville. Blueblood sat alone in silence, a glass of wine hovered next to him in a golden glow (3).

“Well, Blue,” Fabulator called out as we came out onto the balcony. “Looks like I found the source of the interruption.”

“Good, I was enjoying that composition,” the prince responded. He turned around to catch sight of us. “Lieutenant, I hope you have a good reason for interrupting the night’s festivities,” Blueblood’s tone was full of disdain for the guard. Shining Armour put more steel into his spine and stood straighter in Blueblood’s presence.

“Actually,” Fabulator objected with an amused tone. “It was this pair,” he stepped aside to reveal me and Octavia to the prince.

The prince’s eyes narrowed. “Time Turner, you are responsible for this?”

“Actually, it was her,” I pointed a hoof at Octavia and she rolled her eyes.

“And you are?” Blueblood asked.

“Octavia,” she introduced herself with a bow. “First Chair Cellist of the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra, I beg your indulgence in this matter.”

Blueblood enjoyed the little ego trip Octavia’s show of obeisance gave him. “That will depend on the reasons for your interruption.”

I noticed Octavia take a breath before she spoke, “It was to confess my love for—“

“We needed to get your attention,” I interrupted. Blueblood turned to look at me and once I had his focus I continued, “I’ve come to report my success in the task you gave me, I could not wait for morning.”

Octavia sighed in relief as I took the prince’s focus and stood still to avoid drawing his attention. Shining Armour looked toward me, suspicion written across his face while Fabulator looked on in interest. I had Blueblood’s undivided attention.

“The Panther, you’ll be pleased to hear, is quite real.” The prince nodded slowly for me to continue. “My investigation turned up a few old legends that show it is a magical construct tasked to protect the royal unicorn line, starting with Princess Platinum and continuing down to you.”

“My own research said as much,” Blueblood confirmed. “I hope you found more to it than that.”

“Last evening I observed the Panther from afar with the aid of an animal behaviour expert.” Technically Catch is an expert, she’s a practicing veterinarian nurse. “Our observation concluded that the Panther is following you, in order to protect you.”

“Yet the same construct was responsible for the death of a member of my line,” Blueblood objected.

“Actually Blue, it wasn’t,” Fabulator broke in. “You told me as much yourself, remember? I believe you said Blueblood the Third was incapable of having a son. His eldest daughter Bluebelle instead married a stallion from another house who renamed himself Blueblood the Fourth.” Fabulator mused on this for a moment. “Suppose an argument between husband and wife became a little too heated and then the Panther intervenes.” Fabulator left the inevitable result for us to imagine.

“I suppose that makes sense,” Blueblood conceded. “But why is it appearing now?”

“I can explain that,” I said. “I assume you remember your servant Ruff was arrested yesterday?”

“An investigation found that he had been stealing gemstones from the palace vaults.”

“Well, after I met him in the palace dungeons, which Armour was responsible for by the way, I decided to check his hoard.”

Armour came back to life. “So you admit to trespassing in the palace and breaking into a secure crime scene?”

“Lieutenant,” Blueblood said.

“Yes sir?”

“Shut up.” Chastened, Armour returned to the standard stony expression of a professional guard with only a slight twitch of his eye giving away his frustration. “Detective, continue.”

“On Ruff’s gem hoard we located a quartz crystal positioned as close to your chambers as possible, this crystal was charged with dark magic.”

There was a collective gasp from the three unicorns present.

Fabulator spoke first, “Detective, could you elaborate on the effect of this dark magic?”

“It caused nightmarish visions when we came in contact with it, the field around ranged from purple to dark green.” Blueblood’s coat somehow became even paler. I continued, “The legends around the panther suggest it would react to such a thing, it was probably protecting you from its influence.”

“What happened to this crystal?” Blueblood asked, his tone taking on a dark note.

“Destroyed,” I answered. “The remains are still in the room but the power has left it.”

“Then it seems I owe you and the Panther for protecting my sanity.” Consider my surprise when I actually recognised the tone of respect in Blueblood’s voice. The prince looked toward a nearby clock. “The sun should be raised shortly. Once Aunt Celestia returns this afternoon I’ll be having a long discussion with her about this.”

Blueblood lit his horn and opened a cabinet on the wall, taking hold of a set of three wine glasses. “Fabulator, I think this calls for a drink.”

Fabulator nodded, “I’ve got a bottle of ’52 Crémant de fantaisie, this seems like an appropriate occasion.” Fabulator went inside to get the bottle.

“Sun should be up in five minutes, hurry along Fab,” Blueblood murmured.

Octavia came up alongside and spoke quietly to me, “How often have you been doing this since we last met?”

I shrugged, “every now and then, but I think this will be the first time I’ve drunk forty eight year old wine.”

“I believe I have made the right choice with you,” Octavia responded cryptically.

Fabulator returned at a brisk canter and presented the bottle of wine to Blueblood who took it with his magic. The prince cracked the cork and caught the stream of pressurised alcohol in his magic and guided it into the set of wine glasses. He presented a glass to everypony except Shining Armour.

We all turned to look toward the west, where the moon waited to be lowered over the horizon. Situated as we were on the west side of Canterhorn Mountain we wouldn’t be able to see the sun rise in the east.

As the clock on the wall reached Five-Thirty, the scheduled time for the sunrise, we looked toward the moon.

Blueblood raised his glass. “Lady and gentlecolts, a toast in the name of Princess Celestia, may she have another thousand years of peaceful rule.”

Everypony echoed the prince’s toast as we watched for the moonset.

As we watched, waiting, the mare in the moon disappeared from the lunar surface.

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Despite his faults, Blueblood hast a few qualities that make him useful to us, despite how few they are. Principally, he is remarkably adept to his role as prime minister of the council and as the barrier between our sister and the nobility at large. There are few in this world that he truly feels affection for, beyond his “aunties” and his “cousin”.

(2) Despite widespread acceptance of fillyfooling within Equestria, the nobility and their close associates remain principally opposed to the practice. Their reasons are primarily related to the integrity of noble bloodlines. As a result, openly declaring oneself to be a fillyfooler will result in being shut out of any social or business relationship with members of the nobility. This would of course cripple Octavia’s career and see her quietly removed from the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra.

(3) The Dry Equestria Act which forbids the production or sale of alcohol has an exemption clause for any wine that was owned before the law was enacted. The nobility, naturally, stocked their wine cellars in the month leading up to the enactment and continued to partake in the substance during the period the law was enforced.

Chapter 7: Mass Hysteria

There are a few things in life you take for granted; the sun will rise every morning without fail and the mare in the moon will watch over you while you sleep. That has been that way it’s always been, Celestia has never been late moving the sun. Changing the sun’s orbit speed is something the princess took very seriously, an hour’s difference was enough to change the seasons. Right now it was starting to look like autumn had come a month and a half early.

We all stood on Fabulator’s balcony, staring at the suddenly featureless lunar surface. I tilted my head to the side as I tried to see if the moon was still moving. “Is it just me, or is the moon moving backwards?” I asked aloud.

“Impossible,” Blueblood objected. “The only pony with the power to move the moon is auntie, and she wouldn’t move it backwards.”

“But she clearly is,” Fabulator said. “There it is, moving backwards, who else could do this?”

“It couldn’t be her,” Armour objected. “She doesn’t have any reason to do this.”

“I didn’t give you permission to speak, Lieutenant,” Blueblood growled, not even looking at the guard officer.

“Shutting up, Sir.”

“Motive means nothing,” Fabulator argued. “Celestia is the only pony who can move the sun and moon. As Clover the Clever once said ‘Once you have discounted the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.’ So logically, as Celestia the only option on the table she must therefore be responsible.”

“That’s the problem with logic,” I objected. “It only deals in absolutes.” Everypony on the balcony looked toward me, confusion on their faces. “Fabulator, you quote Clover’s philosophy and use it to dismiss something purely on the basis of it being impossible; but the impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. By ignoring what you believe to be impossible you can discount the truth entirely and come to the wrong conclusion.”

The noble looked at me like I was a raving lunatic and said, “Then please explain what just happened.”

“As the Prince would no doubt attest, Celestia isn’t capable of malice toward her subjects. So either she’s moving to moon for our benefit, or something else is controlling it.”

“What could possibly move to moon like that?” Octavia asked.

“Buck me if I know,” I replied. “The prince would probably have a better idea than any of us.”

Everypony looked toward Blueblood, who had been standing silently staring at the moon. After a moment the Prince deigned to talk to us saying, “I might have a clue. Auntie has been silently preparing for something.” The prince continued musing, “She’s been more focused than usual, like when one of her grander political schemes is falling into place.”

“So,” Octavia asked hopefully. “You think Celestia has planned for this?”

“I hope so,” Blueblood replied. He took a deep breath and built up some resolve saying, “I know what she would want me to do, the same thing I’ve always done for her; look after Equestria until she returns.”

The prince took his glass of wine and drank the entire thing in a swift movement. "Lieutenant, you’re going to escort me back to the palace and rouse Captain Ironsides.” Armour gave the prince a swift salute. “Fabulator, you’d better come with me as well. We’re going to need every unicorn in the guard for this and as many volunteers as we can muster.” The noble nodded.

The prince strode toward the door, halting halfway as he remembered something and looked toward me. “Time Turner, I seem to recall your filly friend was in charge of that riot near the palace?”

Octavia replied for me, “Yes, Prince Blueblood. I’m responsible for the organisation of the event.”

“Turner, take your filly friend back to her ‘event’ and stop the commoners from panicking. Fail and I will not be paying your expenses.”

I paled a little as the prince walked away, leaving the threat hanging in the air. Including Catch’s makeover and the hotel bill, the expenses sheet was over a thousand bits. The amount was more than he paid me and Catch in the first place.

Octavia flicked her tail at me to wake me up and led the way out the door.

We galloped straight for the party, Octavia proved she was still as capable as always and kept up with me as we turned the five minute walk into a two minute run. We arrived to find the party still going and Vinyl was still on stage playing. Once we were backstage I was tackled by an affectionate avalanche of hugs.

“Timey, thank Celestia you’re back! There’s something really wrong.”

“Sun not rising, mare in the moon disappearing, that about cover it?” I surmised.

Lucky Catch nodded, “Everypony out there is starting to panic, I told Vinyl to keep playing but they know something’s wrong.”

At the side of the stage Octavia was beckoning me over. I gave a quick nod to Catch and we went over.

Octavia nodded to the audience as we arrived. “Take a look.” I peered out to look at the crowd, at first glance it looked normal, but as I looked closer I started to see the warning signs: ponies talking to each other instead of dancing; others were looking over their shoulders toward the east and a few more looked up at the moon.

“Yeah, that’s not good,” I said.

“We need to calm them down before things get out of hoof,” Catch hissed.

“What could we tell them?” Octavia began. “The princess is probably in trouble, but she will be just fine and the sun will rise shortly. Somehow I think that will make them panic more.”

“Well I’ll tell them the truth, calmly, but we need to get their attention first.”

“They’re starting to ignore Vinyl,” Catch said. “How can we get their attention?”

“Something flashy and spectacular, something like…” I looked around for possibilities: A small pile of fireworks was left over but not enough for a full display, the dry ice had run out, Vinyl was doing her best to get attention and failing. Something caught my eye as I looked across the stage, Vinyl had another audience. A Pegasus mare in a wonderbolt jumpsuit stood on the other side of the stage, staring at Vinyl as she performed. “Octavia, who’s that wonderbolt standing on the other side of the stage?”

Octavia glanced over toward the mare. “That would be Fleetfoot; she is one of the Wonderbolts backup fliers. Her wing stayed back to perform in the show earlier while the rest went to Ponyville with the princess.

“So she’s just an understudy then.” I watched her for a moment as a plan started to form. “Octavia, Catch, get the last fireworks set up for Vinyl to fire. I’m going to have a word with the wonderbolt over there.”

I didn’t explain further and took off running around the back of the stage to get to the other side. If what I heard was right then Fleetfoot would be just what we needed. I crept up behind her, any noise my hoof steps made was clouded by the sound of the music. Watching Fleet from behind I noticed her head moved to follow Vinyl as she moved on stage, her snow white tail and blue wings twitched as Vinyl struck a pose. Even an earth pony like me can read some of the obvious body language of pegasi.

“Dat flank,” I said as I came alongside Fleet with a grin across my face. I lifted a hoof to point at Vinyl’s hindquarters. “It’s all firm muscle from all that dancing she does, covered in a shallow layer of soft fat from all the sugar she eats and gives her a manic energy that can let her go all night long.” Fleetfoot had frozen solid at my words, her mind clouded with what must have been a very vivid mental image. I leaned over to whisper into her ear and said, “Plus, she’s also into mares.”

Fleet’s wings shot up as I stepped aside to avoid them (1). The mare quickly realized what her wings were doing and spoke in stunned gibberish, “what, uh, why.” As soon as she saw the amused look on my face she leapt into the air and hovered in front of my face. “Who are you and what are you doing up here!” she yelled at me, trying to cover her embarrassment by shifting attention to somepony else instead. She reminded me of Rainbow Dash, I suppose all high flying pegasi have ego issues.

“I’m Time Turner, Vinyl’s ex-coltfriend.”

The wind died in Fleet’s wings and she came crashing down. “I wasn’t looking. I swear I want nothing to do with her.”

I laughed lightly. “Filly, you have it bad for her. I could see how your tail was moving to every beat from Vinyl’s music and how your wings twitch whenever she danced. It’s fairly obvious.” Admittedly the signs were less obvious than I said, but I knew what I was looking for. Catch had told me earlier that a member of the Wonderbolts had a crush on Vinyl, and Fleet was the only member watching her constantly.

Fleetfoot’s wings drooped, I couldn’t see her face through the suit so it was the only sign I had that she was depressed. “It’s not like she’ll ever notice me, I’m just a wonderbolt, nopony special.”

“Uh-huh,” I said sardonically. “Because being selected out of the academy’s seasonal intake doesn’t mean you’re a talented flier.”

“It’s not enough,” she said as she flopped to the ground.

I rolled my eyes. The problem with egotistical ponies is that when something does break through their ego, it will break them all the way. What Fleetfoot needed was a kick in the plot to get her moving again.

“You want to get Vinyl’s attention? I’ll tell you how to get her attention.” Fleet looked up toward me. “Vinyl, likes spontaneity. She lives in and for the moment, do something awesome and flashy to get her attention.” I pointed a hoof out toward the crowd, “Go out there and give the best show of your life.” I raised my voice to sound inspirational, “Destiny knocks, Fleetfoot. This is your opportunity, get out there and show Equestria what you can do!”

Fleet shot up into the air. “I can do this!”

“You know you can!” I encouraged.

“I’ll do it for Vinyl!”

“Do it for yourself!”

Fleetfoot gave a primal yell and charged out over the crowd, a streak of blizzard following her. “This is going to end spectacularly,” I admitted out loud. I quickly nipped backstage to find out what fireworks Octavia and Catch were able to get set up.

I found a frantic pace of activity, the stage ponies were setting up the last of the fireworks and Octavia was sending written messages out to Vinyl through a scrying glass. Catch hovered behind her, waiting for me.

“Fleetfoot agreed, she’s out doing another performance,” I said as I walked up to Octavia. I left out the part where Fleet was doing this in the vain hope of fulfilling her crush on Vinyl, telling Octavia that would be tantamount to asking Octavia to hit me with her cello again.

“Vinyl noticed and she has already changed to music to match.” Octavia put another sheet of notepaper on the scry-glass. “Unfortunately we do not have the normal pyrotechnic display ready for her.”

I rolled my eyes, “Typical, what do you have left then?”

“The only display we have left was the one I planned to use during the sunrise.”

“That’ll do, it’s not like we know when the sunrise will come anyway.” I looked at Octavia’s management table. “Where’s the fire button?”

A slight smile crossed Tavi’s face, “Turner, you know Vinyl would never let anypony else trigger ‘the fun stuff’ when she performs.”

I brought a hoof to my face. Vinyl’s special talent might be in music, but she always had an unhealthy fascination with pyrotechnics. Those glasses of hers have saved her eyes from more than a few misfires.

“I’m going out there. let Vinyl know I’m coming.” I heard Octavia scribble something quickly on paper and slapped it down on the scry-glass as I walked away.

I slipped under the curtain at the back of the stage, right behind Vinyl. As I crept up onto the platform next to the DJ she turned her head to look over her shoulder at me, somehow able to hear my hoof steps over the loud music. Vinyl’s face took on her default death glare as she recognised me, a slight twitch in the music signalled her displeasure.

“I’ve missed you too Vinyl.” I stepped up to the platform alongside her and looked down at her side of the scry-glass. On it was the image of Octavia’s note reading “Be nice”. I looked back at my ex-marefriend with a smile and saw that she was still glaring at me. I guessed that was as nice as she was going to be.

“Alright here’s what’s happening,” I started to explain. “Fleetfoot is out there getting the audience’s attention, once we have it back on stage I’ll let everypony know why the sun is running late. What I need for—“

“Wait, the sun is running late?” Vinyl interrupted.

“Yes Vinyl, it was supposed to rise fifteen minutes ago.”

“Really?” Vinyl was clearly more shocked by the fact that night had gone by so fast, rather than it not having ended yet.

I sighed, “Alright Vinyl, we have one more set of rockets to fire. I need you to fire them when Fleetfoot reaches a good spot in her routine.” Vinyl’s attitude improved when I mentioned the rockets, moving from death glare to mildly contemplative. Nothing mental could be considered more than mild when Vinyl was involved.

Vinyl looked up at Fleetfoot’s acrobatics. “It’s the same routine from earlier, best time is to fire the rockets as she passes over the stage for the Fantastic Filly Flash before she finishes.”

“Here I thought alliteration was a unicorn thing,” I muttered. “Alright Vinyl,” I asked in a louder voice, “let’s pretend the earth pony has no idea what that means.”

“She’s going to fly low over the stage and then over the crowd close enough for them to feel the wind in their manes,” Vinyl elaborated. “Haven’t you ever seen the Wonderbolts?”

“Never really had the chance,” I replied. I haven’t actually seen them perform but I did manage to get up close to them once when I was paid to get a lock from Soarin’s mane. I’ve avoided going to shows since on the off chance one of them might recognise me.

“You need to get out more,” Vinyl chastised.

‘You have no idea,’ I thought as I rolled my eyes. “There’s one more thing, Vinyl.”

“What?”

“Fleetfoot’s dedicated this performance to you.” A wide grin crossed my face. “How does it feel to be famous? I ignored Vinyl’s attempt at a witty retort and focused on the solitary wonderbolt in the sky. Fleetfoot flew at high speed across the sky, white snow clouds trailing in her wake to form patterns.

It was working, mostly. While most of the crowd had stopped worrying long enough to enjoy the air show there were still several groups spaced around talking between themselves. The groups certainly looked worried and they needed to be shaken out of it. Right now I just had to hope that Fleetfoot and Vinyl could get their attention on the stage long enough for me to calm them down.

“Alright here we go,” Vinyl said, charging her horn as Fleetfoot flew high into the air above the stage. The wonderbolt turned and flew directly down toward the stage, doing her best to put on as much speed as possible. If she misjudged this she could crash into the stage with enough force to break every bone in her body. Nopony has ever said a wonderbolt’s life was easy.

Vinyl fired the rockets as Fleetfoot approached, a spectral cone surrounding her approach. The rockets flew directly toward her as Vinyl gave them subtle nudges with her horn. Then the rockets exploded right in front of Fleetfoot.

We’d made a terrible mistake, the fireworks hadn’t been intended for an air show but to farewell the night and created a cloud of fire. Fleetfoot flew through the cloud of light and fire at near supersonic speed. She came out on fire, a streak of flame replacing her cloud trail as she flew over the crowd and back up into the sky to explode in a flash of light.

The crowd was stunned, panic forgotten as they stared in horror at what just happened. My mouth had fallen open and I was fairly sure Vinyl’s expression mirrored mine, she’d stopped mixing her music.

As the flash cleared we saw a trail of smoke spiralling down to the stage, eventually I could make out a Pegasus with a charred blue coat and a much shorter white mane. Fleetfoot was alive and apparently still able to fly, landing on the stage while giggling madly to herself.

“Vinyl, amplify my voice,” I asked and Vinyl’s horn lit up. I stepped forward to help the scorched Pegasus, standing unstably on her feet and laughing madly. Her flight suit had burned away but her coat been mostly unscathed while most of her mane and tail were still there. The loss of the suit changed things; she wasn’t “just another wonderbolt” anymore, now ponies could actually see that she was Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts.

I brought up a hoof to gesture grandly toward her and spoke out to the audience, “Fillies and Gentle-colts, I give you: Fleetfoot!”

The audience erupted into cheers, many called out her name as they showered her in glory. Fleetfoot basked in the attention, waving out to the audience as she cried tears of joy.

I lowered my voice to the barest whisper and Vinyl’s amplification spell made it so only Fleetfoot could hear me over the crowd. “Congratulations Fleetfoot, you’re famous. Everypony in Canterlot is here and they’ll be talking about this for weeks.” Soon she could barely keep herself standing and sat down near Vinyl as I strode forward to make use of the crowd’s attention.

I considered my words carefully, there was no way in Tartarus to hide the fact that the sun hadn’t risen today nor could I properly convince ponies not to think about it. Though there was one thing that could work in my favour, I doubted there was a single pony in this crowd that didn’t have faith in their princess.

“Good morning Canterlot!” I called out. “Welcome once again to the Summer Sun Celebration.” I changed my voice to a slightly more serious tone, “As many of you are no doubt aware, Princess Celestia has not yet raised the sun.” The crowd began to mutter among themselves, stirring themselves once again into panic.

“Vinyl,” I prompted and the DJ released the loud screech of a pickup needle crossing the record. This got the attention of the crowd again.

“Now, you all could stand there, panic and worry yourselves into a coma.” I switched to a stronger tone and said, “But that won’t help anypony, will it‽” A few ponies shook their heads.

“You all know Princess Celestia,” I swept a hoof to gesture to the entire crowd. “She’s kind, generous and honest sometimes. I dare you all to find a single pony in Equestria that cares more for her subjects. Now,” I slammed my hoof against the stage. “I have no doubt at all in our princess, she’s smart and I’ve never heard of a riddle she couldn’t answer. So do any of you think that she hasn’t planned for this? Is there a problem our Princess couldn’t solve?” I turned my head toward Fleetfoot and asked, ‘What do you think Fleetfoot?”

“No,” she said emphatically.

I looked back to the crowd and spoke with my amplified voice, “She said no everypony.” I turned my head to face Vinyl this time, “What do you think, Vinyl. Is there a problem that Celestia herself couldn’t solve‽”

Vinyl amplified her own voice, “Buck no!”

I reared myself up and stretched my legs out in suitably dramatic stance and asked, “What do you think, Canterlot‽”

“No,” they said back.

“It’s seems the music was too loud, because I didn’t hear that!”

“No!” They yelled back louder. I stood and smiled for a moment, I’d wanted to say something like that for years.

“Do you all faith in Princess Celestia?” I asked.

“Yes!” they answered.

“Good!” I said as I returned myself to the ground, ignoring the pain I had in my back all night. “It seems you don’t have anything to worry about, because our immortal princess has a plan.” I strutted across the stage, “I don’t think the princess would want you to worry about her, she would want you to enjoy yourselves and be happy.” I stood next to Vinyl on her platform. “I seem to remember this party was going to continue until sunrise, I don’t know about you lot but I can’t see the sun.”

I turned to my ex-marefriend, “Hit it, Vinyl.” If she was uncomfortable with me yelling at her with an amplified voice, she didn’t show it and started her music again with dramatic flair. I always figured she was on the edge of going deaf anyway.

The crowd started to dance again, getting back into the swing of the party. I could tell they were still worried, but at least for now they were content to party for the rest of the night. I suppose I had enough faith in Celestia myself to believe she’d fix things soon.

I made my way off stage, leaving Vinyl to her music with the weary Fleetfoot getting a front row seat. Neither seemed to notice my disappearance, nor did the crowd pay any more attention to me, and I was fine with that. When I turned the corner I found a private applause from Octavia and Lucky Catch.

“Bravo Time Turner,” Octavia congratulated. “I cannot say that I expected this to go nearly that well.” Catch simply stepped forward to nuzzle me.

“It will only last a little while,” I said. “Soon they’ll all start getting tired and head to bed. If the sun’s not back when they wake up then there’ll be a panic.” Octavia nodded, I could see the rings starting to form under her eyes. She had been awake all night to see the sunrise, like most ponies in Equestria (2).

“I expect you are correct, Turner,” she nodded. “I suppose the best we can do now is have a little faith.”

“I think we’ll be just fine,” Catch added as she briefly took her face out of my mane.

“Huh, that’s weird,” Octavia said as surprise crossed her face.

‘What’s weird?” I asked.

“I thought we already used all of the dry ice for the fog machine.” I looked over my shoulder, and Catch, to look at the fog spreading from the side of the stage as it flowed toward us.

“Hang on…” I said as the mist began to coalesce into a smaller cloud and began to take shape. A paw stepped out of the fog as it all drained into the form of a large Panther.

It walked toward me until it came to a halt right beside me and Catch. A slight gust of wind crossed my back as the Panther of the Bluebloods sniffed me and began to growl.

Luna’s Notes:

(1) The motions of Pegasi wings include a large number of involuntary “tells” that exist in addition to the regular pony body language. It’s possible to read the emotional state of a Pegasus entirely by observing the position of their wings and feathers. Between pegasi the reading of each other’s emotional state is an inherent part of any conversation whether in flight or on the ground. As Time Turner notes, it can be difficult for non-pegasi to understand their body language without a detailed introduction. However a few specific wing tells are widely known in popular culture.

(2) Our sister is reluctant to inform us as to the origin of this tradition. During the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration the majority of the population of Equestria will stay awake for the entire night in a vigil to last until the sun rises once more. Inevitably this leads to an all-night celebration. Despite all that has occurred since our return we are still reluctant to ask our sister as to why. It could be a gesture toward celebrating and enjoying our night, or perhaps a watchful vigil against it. We hope that it is the former.

Chapter 8: Apocryphal Fabrication

“Nice Kitty,” I said as I stood my ground. I’d heard somewhere that running just convinces predators to chase. If I had known that I would be testing that theory I would have paid more attention to whatever advice came with it. As it was the Panther seemed to be taking my measure, deciding what it was going to do with me.

“Catch,” I said loudly to the mare standing behind me. “What does it want?”

There was a pause while Catch “ahhed” over the problem. Eventually she said, “It’s curious, I think it’s searching for something and found you instead. Be careful Timey, animals don’t like being confused.”

“Are you sure?” Octavia asked Catch. “I mean, how do you know that?” The twinge of worry in the normally unflappable cellist did not help.

“It’s my talent remember?” Catch replied. “Though I’m also kinda surprised it’s working on it, normally—”

“Catch,” I interrupted. “You can share your mark story with Octavia later, once the ancient and presumably very powerful magical construct stops looking at me like a new scratching pole.” The Panther sniffed me again, slowly padding its way around toward my flank as it scanned me. It showed particular interest in my rear, coming to a halt between me and the two mares.

I tried to calm myself down with a deep breath, asking myself what it would be interested in. The smell of smoke from the fireworks caught in my nose and struck a chord in my mind. The Panther could smell dark magic.

“I destroyed the source,” I said to the Panther, going out on a limb that if it was intelligent enough for Catch to understand its feelings then it could understand me. “The dark magic was enchanted into a crystal hidden under the Prince’s chambers. When I broke it the magic dissipated.” The Panther stopped examining my rear and instead looked toward my face, its head tilted downward slightly as it watched.

“I think it’s… disappointed,” Catch explained. “It’s got that kind of feeling you get when you search for hours to find what’s making a pet sick, only to discover it just ate a box of chocolates.”

Huh, I thought, trust Catch to come up with a pet related analogy. I turned to face it properly. “Not what you were looking for?” I asked it directly. In response the Panther walked over and stood beside Catch, her face took on a pensive look as she tried to interpret the Panther’s feelings.

“Something, old and terrifying, made from darkness and hate,” Catch said as a frightened look crossed her face. “Whatever it is, it scares him.”

We all paused for a moment as we thought about what it could be. The mare in the moon had disappeared earlier, leaving the lunar surface bare of the shadow that had been traditionally linked to the dark spirit of Nightmare Night in the old fairy tales. I’d seen a few tales performed on stage back in Trottingham, the spirit was often named Nightmare Moon or just The Nightmare (1). Usually the hero of the story would outsmart the spirit in a game or lead it into a trap.

Considering traps and games were things that Princess Celestia was supposed to be good at, I decided we could just leave it to her to solve.

I shook my head, “its somepony else’s problem. The princess will probably deal with it.” I looked up to find Catch comforting the Panther, running her hoof through its insubstantial back. I found it amusing that the sun itself wouldn’t rise but Catch still cared for pets, some things never change.

Octavia looked on with some interest before asking, “Do you mind explaining what just happened?”

A considered a couple of responses and settled on, “She’s a very affectionate mare.”

“Not quite what I wanted to know, Turner.” Octavia motioned her head toward the Panther.”

“It’s a guardian, I mentioned this earlier, it protects Blueblood or rather,” I raised my volume, “it should be protecting him.” The pair looked back at me and Catch rolled her eyes, it wasn’t creepy at all.

“Speaking of the prince,” I said as I turned to Octavia. “I should probably go find him at the palace and make sure everything is alright on his end.”

“I will stay here and help keep the crowd entertained with Vinyl.” Octavia looked around, “Not that we have anything left, and I suspect Vinyl’s making up her music as she’s going now.”

“I’ll leave you to that then. At least the party earlier was fun.” I was about to leave when Octavia put a hoof on my shoulder to stop me.

“Time Turner, I would appreciate it if you stopped by my apartment before you go home. About that favour you promised me.”

I groaned inwardly. “I’ll make sure to stop by later, goodnight Octavia.” I walked over to retrieve my saddle bags, Twilight’s telescope and Catch’s satchel. I went back over to Catch where she was rubbing the ears of the ancient construct.

“Catch, we’re going to go find Blueblood.” I looked toward the Panther, “you’ll probably want to come as well.” Catch nodded and I passed her satchel over. Without a word said between them Catch opened her satchel and the Panther congealed, for lack of a better word, itself down to the size of a small cat to sit in the open bag.

Catch caught my bemused expression and said, “It wanted to tag along without scaring anypony.” I decided not to ask about it, and filled those thoughts away with my first attempts to understand Pinkie Pie.

A brisk trot toward to palace later and we arrived to the largest show of force I’d ever seen from the royal guard. The entrance hall of the palace was filled with stallions and mares in golden armour, the vast majority of them were grey coated unicorns. The usual white coated pegasi were absent.

Keeping to our usual strategy we walked past them, headed to the front of the line-up. None of the guards reacted to our presence until we reached the front where the Captain was conferring with his lieutenants.

“Time Turner,” called out a voice I’d heard far too often lately. Sure enough Shining Armour was standing amongst his fellow lieutenants in full armour with blue trim, along with the captain in purple. Armour beckoned a hoof toward me and I approached.

“Captain,” I greeted first with a respectful nod. “Lieutenant Armour,” I followed with the usual pronunciation. To his credit Armour maintained his stony expression, while the Captain considered me with interest as he ran a hoof through his huge grey moustache.

“So, you’re the “detective” Blueblood hired to investigate his wild goose chase,” the Captain said, not bothering to conceal his disdain for the prince. It was an interesting position since Blueblood probably had a lot of say over how much budget the guard got.

I shot a glance toward Catch’s satchel and saw that her passenger had retreated out of view. “Correct Captain, may I ask as to what is going on?”

“Blueblood summoned every unicorn guards-pony to the palace. Every pegasus has been sent to aid the princess while we’ve been denied the opportunity to join them.” The Captain was clearly not taking the inaction well and I didn’t have any sympathy for him.

I looked around and couldn’t see Blueblood or Fabulator anywhere. “Captain, do you know where the Prince is?”

“He’s gone to the Royal Archives with that other layabout. Apparently he has a ‘plan’.” I raised an eyebrow at the Captain’s comment. Blueblood had mentioned he had an idea about what the princess would want him to do, something better than standing around at any rate.

“We’ll go help him then.”

Before we could leave Armour objected, “The archives are locked, you won’t be able to get in without permission.”

The Captain glared at Armour as he spoke. “Since you’ve been so keen on the Prince’s activities lately you can escort these two there.” Armour stayed stoic under his superior’s gaze and gave a salute. Dismissed, Armour led the way and motioned for us to follow as he took us toward the end of the hall.

Once we were out of earshot of the Captain I walked up alongside the Lieutenant and asked, “Interested in Blueblood are we?”

Shining Armour narrowed his eyes as he looked back at me. “Princess Celestia asked me to personally keep an eye on Blueblood while she was gone. I was just following her orders, even if the Captain doesn’t consider the prince important.”

“Do you?”

“The princess does, that’s enough for me,” he replied like to good guard he was. “Do you?” he asked in turn.

“He’s the one paying me,” I replied. Armour’s gaze narrowed before I added, “That and he’s the only pony around with a plan.” I looked over my shoulder at Catch, who was following just behind but remained quiet. The lack of spontaneous affection and questions had me a little nervous about what effect the Panther was having on her.

Armour led us out into the same courtyard where Twilight’s Ivory Tower was located, instead of heading in that direction we went across to another tower with an iron portcullis over the door. Once we reached the door Armour lit his horn and moved the hidden mechanism to open the portcullis (2).

“Be warned: the knowledge within can be dangerous if misused, please consider the result of your research,” Armour spoke in monotone to recite a speech he’d probably given before.

“What sort of danger?” I asked as we entered the Royal Canterlot Archives.

“I’ve never asked,” Armour replied.

“You’ve never been curious?” a smirk crossed my face. “Just being the guard I see. Armour you’re an officer, you need to ask these questions.” I ignored whatever scathing look the Lieutenant gave me as I climbed upstairs.

As we reached the first floor I saw a light coming from an archway with a prominent clover emblazoned above it. Inside we found Prince Blueblood pouring over a book on a central pedestal, a flicker of light came from his horn as he attempted to cast a spell and growled when it failed.

“Having trouble?” I asked as we walked in.

Blueblood nearly jumped out of his skin in shock before he quickly recovered and turned to face us. “Have you not heard of decorum? Knock before you interrupt!” the prince declared and dramatically stamped his hoof. “I was in the middle of a critical spell.”

“So I can see,” I replied neutrally. “The partygoers have been calmed, but they’ll start to panic again in a few hours if the sun doesn’t rise.”

‘It will,” the prince said as he lit his horn again, only to abruptly snuff out a moment later. “Confound it,” Blueblood cursed. “I should be able to touch it at least.”

Shining Armour coughed politely, “My Prince, would you wish my assistance?”

Blueblood grumbled, “I shouldn’t need it. I found the spell my ancestors used to raise the sun and moon.” He indicated an engraved slab of marble that sat on a pedestal in the centre of the room. “Auntie made sure to have it prominently located should it ever be needed again. From the text I can see that no single unicorn – not even I – can move it alone, but I should be able to feel it at least.” Blueblood waved Armour forward so he could see the spell as well, I followed. “There is some haze that misdirects me as I try to reach out.”

“Perhaps I could help you,” Armour posited. “With my aid you might have the strength to push through the disruption.”

The prince nodded reluctantly, “if you could apply a star-field to the harmonic…” I tried to read the slab as the pair of unicorns started to delve into magical theory. Much like their jargon laden conversation the engraved slab made no sense to an earth pony. I recalled seeing many of the symbols in books but I might as well have been trying to read pegasus wing-semaphore.

I gave up and looked over my shoulder at Lucky Catch instead. My assistant was trying to follow the conversation between the unicorns and now looked thoroughly confused.

I tried listening again for a moment, “… That’s why I summoned every unicorn in the guard, a timed mana wave…” Somehow I knew that asking what “mana” was would lead to a long explanation that still wouldn’t answer my question.

I went over to Catch and tapped her on the shoulder. “Is it still in your bag?” I asked quietly.

Catch shook off her bemused expression as she looked at me, shot a glance at the other two and whispered back, “It is.”

“Keep it in there for now,” I said.

Catch looked at the two unicorns again. “Do you understand any of that?”

“About as much as they would know about gardening.”

Catch smiled a little. “My flowers at home are a bit plain and tasteless, but they’re better than what my neighbours have.” Even in a city like Canterlot or Manehatten you can expect an earth pony to grow something, even if only to add something to lunch or save on buying food.

“I never had much luck with flowers in Canterlot,” I admitted. “The cold air here never worked for me.”

“You have a very nice garden back in Ponyville.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I put a bit of effort in and I’ve been rewarded.”

Catch’s smile took on a sly slant, “It’s too nice, Timey. Who does it for you?”

I sighed, “Roseluck, she keeps it looking nice and I let her sell some of the flowers at her stand on market days.” I tended to forget about my garden, growing plants was never my strong suit (3).

Catch’s face lit up as I admitted she was right. “Perhaps I could show you how to do it properly sometime.”

“Hang on, we’re missing somepony,” I said in an attempt to change topic.

“Huh?” Catch said as she looked around. “Blueblood and Shining Armour are both here, who do… Oh, where’s Fabulator? I thought he was with the Prince.”

“Exactly,” I said as I walked toward Blueblood. I stepped in front of him and said, “Prince Blueblood, wouldn’t you have wanted Fabulator’s help in this? I noticed he isn’t here.”

“He wandered off to see if he could find anything else that could help,” the prince replied. “Go find him. I want him to take a look at this as well.”

Dismissed I turned around and went back toward Catch. At least the search gave me a reason to do something other than stand around. I gave Catch a shrug and she fell in beside me as we walked out of the room, headed up to the next floor of the archives.

The next floor proved to be empty, the archway had an image of a swirl of stars emblazoned over it and was blocked by a locked gate. On the next level up we saw a light through another archway under an outlined circle. I went up against the wall and peeked around a corner to look inside.

Fabulator stood with Blueblood’s two bodyguards, searching the books on the shelves. Finding a volume that interested him he floated it into a bag on the back of one of his escorts. All three of them had a considerable selection of books and scrolls on them.

I beckoned Catch forward so she could take a look.

“What are they doing with all those books?” Catch asked.

“Somehow I don’t think they’re about raising the sun,” I replied quietly. “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Check a few of the book titles while I distract him.” I walked into the room towards Fabulator, with Catch falling into step behind me after a moment’s hesitation.

“Fabulator,” I called out as I approached. The noble was briefly surprised to see me, the guards tensing up as they noticed me.

“Ah, Detective Turner,” Fab said to me. “I should have expected you’d find your way here eventually. Did you manage to stall the panic?”

“With a little help from the Wonderbolts,” I admitted. “I came to check on the prince’s progress and he sent me up here to get you. He’s found the spell, but needs help testing it.”

“Ah,” Fabulator said with a smile. “Tell him I’ll be down shortly, there’s a few more shelves I need to check in tandem spell casting. We’ll need to team up a large group to move the sun.”

“I’ll let him know, make sure you find a book the guards can understand,” I said as I turned to leave.

“We will,” Fab assured me as Catch followed me out of the room.

Once we were out of sight a dropped the pleasant expression from my face. “Well, that was fun.” I looked over toward Catch, “Notice anything?”

“I saw a few titles in a bag on one of the guards: ‘Crystal Cantrips’, ‘The Fall of the Crystal Empire’, ‘Illicit Illusions’, ‘Competent Constructs’ and I think the last was ‘Mental Maze Magic’,” Catch recited. I couldn’t be sure what any of those meant, apart from “Unicorns Love Alliteration”. None of them sounded like “Dynamic Duo, Combined Casting” or anything to do with tandem spells.

“I think we might have our suspect,” I said as we passed the star swirl arch. “None of those books mean anything to us, but I bet Armour and Blueblood might recognise something.”

“You think Fabulator enchanted the dark crystal?” Catch asked.

“He’s a unicorn and he had access to Ruff, he’s clearly paid off Blueblood’s bodyguards so a dog wouldn’t be much more effort. What I want to know is what he’s getting out of this.”

“He’s got a lot of books,” Catch said as she looked back upstairs. “Do you think he might have been after some sort of magic?”

A worried look crossed my face, Catch mirrored it as well. “I have no idea what he might be after up there, we’ve seen some dark stuff already.”

“Perhaps...” Catch mused. “Perhaps he’s looking for a spell to turn himself into an alicorn.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Celestia, I hope not. Last thing we need is a demi-god tearing Equestria apart.”

We found the pair of unicorns attempting to combine their magic. Armour and Blueblood were focusing their magic in the air between them, creating a spherical shape in the air. A dark shimmer shot through the ball and it shook in front of them. Knowing a bad sign when I saw one I dragged Catch behind a shelf just as the ball exploded in a flash of light and sound.

Once the ringing in my ears subsided I looked around the corner to find the pair of unicorns laid out on the ground. Armour was the first to recover and brought himself to his hooves, ignoring the charred state of his armour. Prince Blueblood remained on the ground, hooves cradling his head.

“Your grace, are you alright?” Armour asked as he attended to the prince.

Blueblood groaned, “I haven’t felt a feedback hit like that since I tried to open auntie’s diary as a colt.”

“Sir?”

“Her idea of a joke, she paraded the book in front of me on a few occasions. When I tried to break it open it threw me across the room.” He brought himself to his hooves, and then produced a mirror and comb to fix his mane. “She appeared and chastised me for invading her privacy. I tried to justify my actions as the curiosity she always tried to encourage and she said I should have just asked permission.” Blueblood rolled his eyes, “When I did she opened it and showed me it was blank.”

I retold Blueblood’s story to Twilight Sparkle a few weeks later and it turns out Princess Celestia pulled the same trick on her as a filly. I suppose that says something about our princess’s teaching style.

I stepped out from behind the shelf and approached the pair. “So I take it you still can’t reach the sun?”

Blueblood snorted, “It’s just a barrier. Once I get the unicorn guard behind me we’ll be able to break through it. This is a problem that has to be solved through raw power.”

“That’s a bad idea,” Shining Armour objected, and the quickly remembered who he was speaking to. The guard threw up a salute and asked, “Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“Denied,” Blueblood answered.

“Actually,” I said. “You can tell me Lieutenant, I’d like to know.” Blueblood scowled at me as I pretended to ignore him, I love abusing loopholes.

Armour looked directly at me as he spoke and said, “What you saw was our magic being pushed back at us. If the combined might of the guard can’t break the barrier we’ll be hit by a huge back blast.”

“That sounds bad,” Catch said.

“It would probably dislodge the palace from the mountain side,” Armour replied flatly.

“Well I don’t know about you, Blueblood,” I added. “But I like the idea of living.”

“As if any barrier can stand up to over two hundred unicorns,” the prince argued.

“Probably better to wait for the princess to break it,” I replied. “Besides, we might have another problem.”

“What could be more important than raising the sun?” Blueblood asked skeptically.

“A more immediate problem,” I noted. “Fabulator is upstairs with your bodyguards taking books off the shelves.”

“He went up there to find out what could be causing this,” Blueblood said.

“Catch what were those titles again?” I asked. Catch quickly listed the titles she’d seen. When she mentioned the “Fall of the Crystal Empire” and “Crystal Cantrips” both Blueblood and Armour considered what we said more seriously.

“Judging by the looks on your faces we hit a nerve there,” I said.

“Normally I wouldn’t be worried about that sort of thing,” Armour said. “But considering recent events…” he said as he looked toward the prince who wore a look of betrayal on his face.

“Is this what he was after this entire time?” Blueblood said as he began to pace. “The first time I thought I found somepony among that bunch of vultures that wasn’t trying to marry me or cheat their way into status!” He lashed out and bucked over the pedestal in the centre of room. “To think I thought to call Fabulator a friend!”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Said a voice from behind me, I turned on the spot to find Fabulator standing in the entrance archway flanked by Blueblood’s guards.

“It seems I’ve obviously missed something,” Fabulator said as he stepped into the room. “Mr Turner was very kind to come inform me of your success, Blue. I take it you found the spell?”

“I have, not that it’s any good to us, there’s a barrier in the way,” Blueblood replied.

“Well, if the pair of you were unable to break it then there’s little we can do about the sun for now.” Fabulator walked forward with his guards, causing me and Catch to retreat back to where Blueblood and Armour were standing.

Fab turned his head in curiosity, “Why so defensive? I haven’t done anything to any of you.”

“I suppose that quartz crystals enchant themselves with dark magic then?” I asked, “Or do they normally grow on piles of gemstones?”

“I hardly see what the actions of a disgruntled servant would mean to me.” Fabulator replied neutrally.

“You have a book on crystal cantrips in your bag,” Catch countered.

“Actually it’s in his bag,” Fab replied as he pointed toward one of his guards. “I haven’t even read it yet.”

“One of Blueblood’s guards you mean?” I said. “You paid them off the same way you bought Ruff, and set him up to take the blame. I suppose those guards of yours also had access the Blueblood’s vault. What better way to buy a patsy then to buy him with incriminating evidence.” I pointed a hoof at Blueblood, “Then you let slip to him that you’ve seen his servant, a diamond dog no less, shining gemstones that you thought belonged to the prince. A quick investigation proves you right and the dog is sent to the dungeons.”

“Now that I think about it,” Blueblood mused. “You were the one who tipped me off to that. Just so you could hide a source of dark magic and brainwash me from afar, all while pretending to be my friend.”

Fabulator rolled his eyes, “I suppose I’m not talking my way out of this.” He looked toward his guards, “Contingency Plan C.” His guards opened their wings and shot forward.

Just before the traitor guards could reach us a pinkish field shot up, sounding the four of us in a spherical shield. I looked to my left to see a glow around Shining Armour’s horn. I looked at the shield again and noticed how it shined, literal shining armour.

Fabulator walked forward and gave the field a tap with a hoof. “Not bad,” he said as he admired the lieutenant’s work. “Very sold, nothing gets in, nothing gets out.”

“Nothing I don’t want,” Armour said as kept the field up.

“You can hear me, so air can pass through then, nicely done.” Fabulator stepped back from the shield and was joined by his guards. “Since you’ve forced my hoof I suppose I have no more secrets to hide.” Fab sighed, “Blueblood, you assume I always intended to betray you. No our friendship was quite real. You can be rather interesting when you’re not acting like a pompous ass and when you stop assuming everypony just wants get to the princess through you. In fact, the way you are so protective of your “auntie” might be your greatest virtue.”

Blueblood stepped forward to stare out of the shield, his horn touching the barrier. “If you were so set on being my friend, then why did you attempt to brainwash me?”

Fab looked affronted, “Where did that notion even come from? What would I even gain? The princess would notice immediately and break it without any effort at all.”

“Then what did you want from me?”

“To scare you,” Fabulator announced like it was obvious; it was to me of course. “Just enough darkness to summon the ‘Panther of the Bluebloods’, you’d see it, you’d get scared and nopony would believe you, except me.

“And then when the princess left to go to Ponyville I’d convince you to look for answers in the royal archives. Then I would have my true prize, the forbidden knowledge of the old unicorn kingdom.” Fabulator stopped his monologue to switch his attention to me. “Of course, no plan is perfect. I was surprised to find that Blue here would hire outside help, let alone somepony who’d actually break the crystal.”

“I aim to please,” I responded confidently.

Fabulator barely acknowledged me before he turned back to Blueblood. “I was ready to take what I could get and just accept that I had your friendship at least, Blue. Not quite what I wanted, but I’d have time to set up another plan and try again.”

“And then the sun failed to rise,” I added helpfully.

“Not even I expected that,” Fabulator clarified. “But suddenly there was an opportunity: Blue here needed the archives for the first time in his life. I couldn’t pass that up. Who could possibly refuse a chance at the greatest treasure trove of knowledge in Equestria?”

“So what were you after?” I asked. “Did you want to turn yourself into an Alicorn and live forever?”

“Nothing so grand,” Fabulator replied before adding, “Though if the opportunity arose I’d take it. I just wanted to walk out of here with every book or scroll I could carry. No matter what the subject, it would still give me an unchallengeable advantage over anypony else.”

“So what do you do now?” I asked. “You’re given everypony here your grand plan.”

“Only the sections of my gambit that have no more use to me.” He took a few steps back to address all of us. “Here are you options: You all decide that we’re friends and we walk out of here like nothing ever happened, I might even reward you all. Or I could attempt some of that brainwashing magic you mentioned, just enough so I can make you forget me.”

“We can’t let that happen,” Shining Armour declared. I’d been considering just walking out, it was no skin off my flank. Of course the goody little four shoes guard had to have an attack of nobility.

“You’ve admitted to using forbidden shadow magic,” Armour clarified. “Once that darkness touches your heart there’s no telling what it has left behind. The princess has made it clear to the guard that shadow magic can never be allowed to run amok again.”

“Great, I’ve got shadow cooties,” Fabulator replied sarcastically. He turned to the prince, “So Blue, I take it that loyalty of yours means you won’t be letting this go either.”

“The plague of shadow magic has cursed royalty before,” Blueblood declared. “I cannot let it happen again (4).”

Fabulator rolled his eyes, “So be it then.” A dark shadow gathered around his horn and flowed out of his suddenly green eyes. “Lieutenant, since your shield is air permeable I doubt you’ll be able to stop this.” A dark fog began to form and advance forward toward us.

Then there was the sound of a roar so loud everypony’s ears flattened as another fog streamed out of Catch’s satchel. Forming itself just outside the shield the Panther stared toward Fabulator, its body coiled like a spring, ready to pounce.

“Well,” I said as I seized the opportunity of a lifetime. “It looks like the cat is out of the bag.”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) During our exile the story around the events of our fall had fallen into legend and finally myth, so most modern ponies have only heard of The Nightmare through stories intended to frighten foals. Time Turner’s exposure to Trottingham’s theatrical heritage has left him much better informed than his fellow ponies.

(2) The hidden mechanism means that only a unicorn who knows the layout can operate it. In this case this only includes a small selection of guards, Blueblood, our sister and us.

(3) Time Turner’s lack of gardening skill may be a direct result of the dominance of the reset as his talent. It is likely he is also deficient in many other skills normally considered strong in earth ponies.

(4) It is likely Blueblood is referring to more than one event. There have been several incidents involving shadow magic outside those of Nightmare Moon and King Sombra.
Shadow magic can be an easy and direct method to deal with any problem. Unfortunately that is only how it starts, and soon the easy option becomes more and more attractive to use. Eventually the shadow will start to affect your mind and suddenly what would once have been horrifying has become reasonable, or worse desirable.

Chapter 9: Break for Day

“Not even a giggle, Catch?” I asked my assistant. “Normally you’d—“I got a look at Lucky Catch’s face. It was twisted into an image of anger and rage.

Outside the shield Fabulator paced to the left and the Panther mirrored the move, staying between him and Blueblood. The prince had quietly moved to stand behind Lieutenant Armour and the previous courage he showed paled as he saw the magic Fabulator was wielding.

Watching the Panther, Fabulator sent a tendril of shadow floating around it toward the prince. The Panther snarled and swiped a paw through it, disrupting the magic. The display was echoed by my assistant as I saw her growl in sync with the Panther. Catch’s empathy with tame animals now simply another conduit for the hate the Panther showed toward Fabulator.

I leaned toward Blueblood and Armour whispering, “We need to get out of here. Let the Panther keep him busy, the best we can do now is to make sure the guard know what’s going on.”

Blueblood nodded but the Lieutenant objected saying, “I can’t move the shield. If we start moving we’re going to have to worry about those two.” He motioned towards the traitorous guards.

“We’ll just have to go with it,” I said. “Because that thing’s not going to—“The Panther decided it didn’t want to wait any longer and pounced. “Go, now!” I shouted.

The shield dropped as the panther flew toward Fab. The shadow caster fell back on mundane magic and threw a raw burst at the Panther. Just as the spell impacted, one of the pegasus guards also hit the Panther from the side. The twin impacts threw the Panther down to the ground where it quickly reformed.

As soon as the shield fell Armour and Blueblood made for the exit. Lucky Catch did the opposite and charged toward Fabulator.

I looked toward the fleeing prince and then back at my assistant, torn for a moment. “Damn it,” I cursed and I went after Catch as she ran into the second guard. Just as the guard started to get a hold on Catch I slid over and spun around to buck the guard off Catch.

The pegasus was thrown across the room. The best thing about pegasi is those light frames make sure they go flying. As turned back around to face Catch I saw her attempt to throw herself at Fabulator as he ran past us toward Blueblood, Panther following close behind. Once Catch was on her hooves she went charging after as well, echoing the Panther’s growl.

The Panther growled again and shot forward. It ploughed into Fabulator and threw him forward. As Fab landed he looked toward Blueblood and fired a burst of magic at a statue on the wall above him. The statue’s supports gave way and it began to topple. The Panther dissolved into a mist again and reformed above the prince to catch the statue. A smile crossed Fabulator’s face in the brief second before Catch reached him.

Catch threw herself at Fab like a mare possessed, which she was. She struck without coordination or method forcing Fabulator to block all her blows physically.

Feeling a gust of wind above me I reached up and wrapped my hooves around the passing pegasus on his way to help Fab. I pulled the pegasus down and we tumbled across the ground together, scuffling with each other as we came to a stop. We traded several blows as we each tried to pin the other down. Eventually he slapped me across the face with a wing and his feathers made me sneeze.

While I was getting my wits back together the guard broke free and started toward Catch. Not done, I bit onto his tail to try and stop him. Instead of bringing him to a halt he dragged me along with him. I cursed through the tail in my mouth as I tried to get my hooves together and finally managed to stop him a pony length away from Catch. As I started to pull him back I heard a cry from behind me and saw the other guard flying toward me out of the corner of my eye.

Preparing to take the blow I was surprised to see a purple field appear in front of him. The traitorous guard crashed into the shield and fell to the floor, stunned. Looking toward the stairs I saw Blueblood sprinting down with Shining Armour, who had his horn lit. Good timing with the shield I supposed, it was the single most useful thing I’d seen Armour do.

There was a flash as Lucky Catch was shot across the room by a concussive magic blast and hit a wall. Her cry of shock and pain was echoed by the Panther as it moved toward Fabulator again.

I let the guard’s tail go, figuring the Panther could handle two ponies while I checked on Catch. As I got to her she threw herself to her hooves, her face still a mask of rage. Earth ponies are resilient – I’m proof of that – but this wasn’t right. The flow of rage running through Catch must have clouded any pain she that she was feeling. She charged off in the direction of the fight, ignoring me entirely.

I followed her to the stairs. Fabulator was galloping down after Blueblood while the remaining guard attempted to distract the Panther. Catch ploughed through the last guard and joined the Panther in charging down the stairs, with me just behind.

As we reached the ground floor I saw Fabulator, Blueblood and Armour by the door. Fabulator shot a blast of magic at Blueblood and Armour put up a dome over them to stop it.

A growl from both the Panther and Catch got Fabulator’s attention as they charged toward him. I watched Fabulator smile as his horn turned black with shadow magic. I was level with Catch as he fired and saw the spell hit Catch. Instead of doing any physical damage to Catch she brought to a halt, a dark green glow in her eyes as the rage left her face. She whimpered, fell to the ground and started to curl up while crying in fear as some form of nightmarish vision assaulted her.

Fabulator smile turned into a victorious grin. The Panther had stopped as well, seemingly experiencing the sheer terror radiating from Catch in a twisted reflection of the rage it shared with her before. The odds in our favour had turned severely against us without the Panther’s help.

Fabulator summoned a cloud of shadow magic. He probably intended to wipe our memories of his involvement and leave us blissfully unaware of what he’d stolen. He might even leave us as a bunch of drooling morons.

I gathered myself. It was time to do something stupid, “reset.”

Time flew back and we were charging across the ground level toward Fabulator as he charged his magic. I slipped a hoof under Catch to trip her up and swung past her to take the blast of shadow magic in my back.

I felt warmth across my body as I woke up. I was bathed in light and my eyes winced as they adjusted.

“Timey!” came a relieved voice and I was suddenly pulled into a crushing hug. I blinked as my eyes adjusted, slowly taking in the scene around me. We were still in the Royal Canterlot Archives and the sun was shining in through the window.

“Oh, the sun’s back. That’s good,” I murmured. Looking down I found Lucky Catch wrapped around my ribs with tears falling onto my coat as I lay on the floor.

“I thought I’d lost you,” she said. “How did you know Fabulator was about to curse me?”

“Ancient earth pony secret,” I replied.

“You were so heroic. Sacrificing yourself to save me,” she said as she hugged me tighter. Great, she thought I did it for her.

“Where’s Blueblood?” I asked.

“Right here,” said a voice from above me. I rolled my head backwards to look up at the prince from my upside down perspective.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Fabulator escaped,” Blueblood huffed. “The Panther chased him outside as he attempted to flee. Just as it was about to get him the sun rose and the Panther dissipated. I’ve sent the Lieutenant after him but it’s probably too late.” The prince shook his head and began to pace. “And would you believe those two traitors also escaped by flying out the upstairs window? I can’t even imagine the kind of damage that Fabulator will be able to do with the books they escaped with.” The prince sat down with his head in his hooves. “Auntie is not going to be happy.”

Not one to stay sad Catch quickly brought up the bright side, “At least he wasn’t able to wipe our memories, and the sunrise also got rid of the shadow he put on Timey.”

“Bravo,” Blueblood muttered.

Ignoring the prince Catch hugged me again. “Timey, whatever he did to you made you really scared. What did the curse show you?”

“I can’t remember,” I replied. “It’s probably best that I don’t know what it was (1).” I yawned as the lack of good sleep over the last few days finally caught up to me. Catch also yawned and I’d wager Blueblood did as well. Without anything stressful to keep us awake we were quickly tiring.

“Alright,” Blueblood said. “We’d better get back to the palace, I need to alert the guard and make sure they find Fabulator.” We all got up and walked wearily out into the late morning sun.

Blueblood worked up a temper as we got back to the great hall of the palace, looking around for somepony to abuse. The unicorn guard was still in parade formation as we walked in with the captain inspecting their posture and uniform.

As soon as Blueblood spotted Captain Ironsides he stalked directly toward him, head tilted down and horn pointed forward.

“Captain Ironsides!” Blueblood called out.

The captain looked over his shoulder and then back toward the guard he was inspecting to say something before he turned his attention to Blueblood.

“Yes Blueblood?” The captain said as the prince approached.

“That’s Prince Blueblood to you, peasant,” Blueblood said as he came to a halt a horn length away.

“With all due respect, sir,” the captain started with guard slang for ‘kiss my flank’. “That title is purely ceremonial.”

“I think you’ll find it’s very real, not like your title after your failure today,” Blueblood shot back.

The captain scoffed, “what failure. All a see is a jumped up politician with delusions of grandeur.”

Blueblood’s horn lit as he seized the Captain and threw him against the wall. The captain’s own horn lit but Blueblood extended his magic over it and threw the captain’s magic back at him. None of the guard even flinched at Blueblood’s outburst.

“I suppose you know all about Celestia’s student, correct? She’s named Twilight if you’ve never bothered to find out,” Blueblood said as he stalked toward the captain. “Now, while my dear auntie was teaching the little filly somepony else had to run the government. Who do you think did that?” Blueblood slid the captain down the wall so they met at eye level. “Today my title might be ceremonial, I’m not going to inherit the throne from an immortal after all, but there are responsibilities that come with it. That and my bloodline…” The prince added as he increased his magic flow.

“So I’m not powerless, something that Fabulator realized and used to steal forbidden knowledge from the Royal Archive.” The prince released the captain. “Now we have a dangerous fugitive on the run with a dangerous wealth of knowledge, along with a pair of guards that have betrayed Equestria. The ever competent Lieutenant Armour is already in pursuit but I also want you to send out every pegasus we have to comb the city for him.”

The captain stuttered something. Blueblood took a deep breath to calm down and asked calmly, “what was that captain?”

“All our pegasi are en-route to Ponyville to rescue the princess,” the captain repeated.

Blueblood tapped his hoof against the ground. His voice was calm and empty of menace as he said, “In that case, Captain. You are to send out every guard we have to find him. If you fail I assure you I will do everything possible to ensure the rest of your career is short and unpleasant.” Finished, the prince walked away with Catch and me following close behind.

Once Blueblood turned a corner, and was out of sight of the guard, he fell against a wall to cradle his horn in his hooves. He groaned, “My magic’s going to be stunted for days after that.”

Catch and I remained diplomatically silent.

Looking around the Prince realized we were still with him. “It’s a wonder we even bother sometimes,” Blueblood said. “Most guard officers are just second born noble colts sent to inflict their incompetence on the world instead of their family. That idiot probably only got the captaincy because all the other lieutenants were morons.”

Catch hummed in thought. “How does the guard work if all their leaders are incompetent?”

“It’s quite simple, Catch,” I said with a smile. “Think about it, what’s between the idiots above and the grunts on the bottom?” Catch blinked, waiting for an answer. Mares couldn’t care less about the guard most of the time. “It’s the sergeants,” I answered, “the only ponies in the guard who actually earned their position instead of getting it with politics (2).”

“Then why have officers at all?” Catch asked.

“I wonder sometimes,” Blueblood grumbled. The prince straightened up and stifled a yawn. “Right, follow me.” The prince led us back to the great hall and pulled aside the first sergeant he saw. “Have somepony escort these two to the palace guest rooms, the nice ones, and let Lieutenant Armor know where they are when he returns.”

The guard saluted, “yes Sir.”

Then Blueblood turned to me, “At least this way I can satisfy your need to stay in a gaudy room without it coming out of my personal account.” He snorted. “Consider your expenses paid. Have a good day.”

I nodded in response and Prince Blueblood set off toward to south tower, probably to get some rest himself.

“Well, this is spacious,” I said when we got a look at the palace’s largest guest suite. “I think I could fit half my house in here.”

Catch went across to the princess sized bed, dropping her bag as she went, and threw herself onto the soft surface. I caught a brief hiss of pain as she landed. Concerned, I went over to make sure she was alright and shucked my bags onto the ground next to hers.

“Something wrong, Catch?” I asked.

“Oh it’s nothing, I just—ouch,” she yelped in pain as she rolled over to face me.

‘That’s not nothing, roll over,” I ordered. Catch rolled onto her front and I touched her back, she hissed in pain. Gently, I used my hooves to separate the coat on her back to see the skin underneath.

“Catch, you’ve got a lot of bruising on your back.” I followed the bruising up past her neck. “It’s really bad, how was this not hurting you before?” Catch smiled sheepishly.

“So it was hurting all this time?” I asked. Catch nodded. I ran my hooves along her body, feeling for anything out of place. Catch groaned, and I wasn’t sure if she was in pain or enjoying it. “Doesn’t feel like any of your ribs are broken, but I’ll bet you have some cracks from when Fab threw you into that wall.”

“So, I’ll be fine then?” She asked.

“Well, you’ll want to avoid sleeping on your back for a few days but you’ll be fine.” I chuckled, “Consider yourself lucky to be an earth pony, those pegasi are going to be feeling their bruises for weeks.” I rolled over onto my back and got comfortable under the sheets.

Catch slid herself over to me. “Timey…” she put a hoof over my chest.

“Yes, Catch?”

“Could you close the curtains?” She pointed to the huge windows that were letting in the sunlight.

“Huh, I’d forgotten the sun was up.” I rolled out of bed to shut the curtains and turn the lights out.

It was the first bit of decent sleep I’d had in days. No gemstone beds, Discord dreams or rough surfaces. However it only lasted until I heard a knock on the door.

Unable to get up I shouted, “Come in!”

The door opened and an increasingly familiar lieutenant walked in. “Time Turner, I’ve been sent to get you—oh I’m sorry I’ll come back in a minute,” Armour finished nervously.

“No, she just sleeps like this,” I explained. Catch was, of course, wrapped around me and still fast asleep. “What were you going to say?”

“I just received a royal summons for the three of us to go down to the throne room,” Armour explained, “It seems the princess has heard about what happened last night.”

“Sounds like fun. One moment, I’ll just get ready.” I looked down at the sleeping pony on top of me. I tweaked one of her ears to face me and blew down it. Lucky Catch instinctively tightened her hold on me with all four limbs and sent me into a coughing fit as she crushed my lungs.

He head shot up and she looked around the room to spot Shining Armour, “What did you do that for?” Armour quite wisely remained silent as Catch returned her attention to me. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that again,” she apologized as I reinflated my lungs.

“Right,” I said between coughs. “The princess wants to see us, best not to keep her waiting.”

We left our bags behind and I put my tie on as we walked down to the throne room. Night had fallen again on what must have been Equestria’s shortest day in recent history, and the stars were out in a fantastic display.

At this rate I was going to be nocturnal for weeks with my sleep pattern this far out of place. One thing I noticed quickly was the absence of guards patrolling the hallways. I asked Armour about it and he replied, “They’re still out searching for Fabulator. So far the news isn’t good.”

“Is there something wrong?” I asked.

“I’ll explain later,” Armour said as we arrived at the great doors to the throne room.

Armour’s horn lit to open the door and reveal the dark room. None of the lanterns were lit and the only light was cast from the hallway, revealing the unoccupied throne.

“We must have got here early,” I said and led the way in. We followed the light on the ground toward the throne and stood waiting.

The great door behind us shut, leaving the room in total darkness. Catch squeaked and I could hear Armour’s armour clank as he shot into an alert pose.

I felt a cool breeze run through my mane, like somepony was breathing on me. I turned my head to look but couldn’t see anything in the darkness. When I looked away the breeze returned stronger, becoming a gust of wind.

The curtains were caught and were blown open to reveal the full moon over the horizon as it cast light into the throne room.

At the moonlight crossed the room it revealed a figure standing before the throne, wings outstretched, light blue mane billowing in the unnatural breeze as she stood above us. Almost instinctively we each bowed before the mysterious figure.

“Greetings fair subjects,” its tone was strong and just shy of shouting. “Count thyselves most fortunate to be midst the first to witness the restored glory of the true Princess of the Night!”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) Tis more likely that Time Turner does not wish Catch or anypony else to know what the dark vision inflicted upon him. Such a vision would have probably shown him his greatest fear and we suspect he wants to keep that to himself.

(2) In theory Officers exist solely to act as our mouthpiece to relay orders to the sergeants. In practice we often speak to the sergeants directly bypassing officers entirely.

Author's Note

Well that fight scene was fun to write.

A question I'd like to ask of my readers: What do you think of Fabulator? I worked hard to create a good Villain.

And finally, thank you all for up voting and tracking: I'm don't have huge numbers so I celebrate each and every one.

Chapter 10: Thou Cretin

It’s not often that I actually bow before somepony. While some members of the nobility will insist on it – Blueblood for example – I’ve never actually done it for them. Bowing is a signal of deference where you basically say “I’m weak and helpless” without even striking up the courage to speak. Usually when I do end up in front of a noble it’s because they invited me, I don’t have to bow or even show up.

Most nobles don’t have the aura of might that the princess has. A few syllables of her commanding tone were enough to put me face flat on the ground.

“Rise my subjects, you need not fear us,” said the princess. “We are pure once more.”

I stood up and looked at the princess as she gazed down from the dais. She had a sort of terrifying beauty and the stance of somepony used to obedience. Her light blue mane still blew dramatically in the breeze she’d conjured as the moon brightened to bath the room in light. Armour stood and immediately saluted while Catch came slowly to her hooves.

The princess advanced down the stairs and presented her hoof to me. I gazed upon her aluminium shod hoof and recognised an old custom that only persisted in dramatic performances today. I leant forward and kissed her shoe. The princess then offered the same hoof to my companions and they followed my example.

Satisfied that custom had been attended to; the princess returned to her throne and sat. “Bring thyselves forward,” she commanded.

I found myself wondering about her manner of speech as we climbed up to dais to stand in front of her. She spoke with words and an accent I’d only ever heard in the drama classes I took as a colt in Trottingham. The classes taught me a lot about dealing with the archaic culture of the nobility and how to speak confidently, skills I’ve put to a lot of use. This also meant I could understand Luna more readily than most ponies who lose track after the first “thou” and her use of the royal pronoun Celestia abandoned centuries ago (1).

Once we were standing on the dais in front of Luna she relaxed and began to speak. “Our sister hast requested that we receive thy accounts of the events of the last few nights as they relate more closely to our domain.”

I nodded, “As you request, Princess. Before we begin might I ask how we are to address you?”

“Princess or Princess Luna shalt suffice,” she replied sharply. It seemed she was going to keep us at arm’s length from behind her title.

“Forgive my request,” I replied deferentially. “We are simply unfamiliar with your preferences.”

“Understandable,” she conceded. “We only returned a night ago from a thousand year absence. Thou art forgiven.” Catch gasped lightly, a thousand years of separation would account for a lot of her mannerisms that only survive in theatre today.

“My account begins three nights past…” I launched into a detailed account of my case with a liberal sprinkling of archaic terms for the Princess’s benefit. Catch occasionally added her own variations and Shining Armour also explained activities beyond what I’d seen.

For the greater part of an hour the Princess listened intently with only an occasional question to clarify anything she was unfamiliar with. As we finished the Princess rang a hidden bell and a servant brought in a tray of refreshments for us.

I fell upon a pot of coffee while Shining Armour relayed the findings of the guard investigation into Fabulator.

“Before I went to my rest last night I sent a squad to seize Fabulator’s estate and assets,” Armour reported. “However it seemed Fabulator got there first. All sensitive documentation has been removed bar the deed to the estate which was left on his desk in plain view. Fabulator’s bank accounts have been frozen but we found them empty.”

“He planned for this,” I said between sips. “Considering how carefully he planned everything else it makes sense he’d have prepared assets in case he was caught.” I mulled it over for a minute. “Did he buy a train ticket or an airship trip?”

“Records don’t mention his name or mark,” Armour replied with a touch of frustration. “The guards on the road don’t report him leaving that way either.”

“Then he’s gone to ground in Canterlot somewhere.” I shook my head. “You won’t find him until he decides to show up again.”

“Most troubling,” Luna surmised. “This situation bares hallmarks of a similar incident in our time. Detective, since thou hast a grasp of his intent what do you expect Fabulator’s next move to be?”

“He’ll keep a low profile until he’s sure he can act safely. The pair of guards with him are tarred with the same brush, so their loyalty to him is guaranteed.” I took a long sip from my coffee cup. “Armour, what’s organized crime like in the city today?”

“The old bands are still in shambles since the Donna – their leader – was arrested two years ago. They’ve been ineffective without centralized leadership.”

I tapped a hoof against the ground. “In a few months they’ll probably start to rally around him.”

“We cannot allow that to happen,” Luna declared. “The guard will be tasked to locate him and we shall deal with him personally. Lieutenant, rouse the Captain of the Guard, we shall have words with him.”

“Actually,” I piped up. “You should get Lieutenant Armour to do it: he’s demonstrated his competence over the last few days, if occasionally misguided, and to be honest the current captain is looking a bit tired.”

Armour looked a little surprised at what I said and I gave him a sly grin. “I couldn’t do that,” he objected. “It’s not my place to go over the head of my commander.”

“We agree with Detective Turner,” Luna said. “You have commendably demonstrated yourself and you have first hoof experience with Fabulator. The captain will do as we tell him.” Armour looked a little worried as he sat quietly with his coffee cup.

“Now that our duties have been fulfilled,” Luna said. “We can move on to more frivolous matters.” She poured herself a cup of tea from the teapot Catch been using and drank a sip. “Thy accounts have shown me that our absence has left us diminished. We would appreciate more anecdotes about the land we rule over.”

I considered the sudden change in the Princess’s demeanour. Luna was attempting to appear friendly, and failing. Sharing the teapot was a nice gesture to imply familiarity but her lack of inside voice and royal bearing still kept her distant (2).

Catch hummed. “I have a few stories about my work at the animal shelter. You would not believe the adorable and amazing things I’ve seen some pets do. Time Turner can also tell you a lot about Ponyville as well.”

“Yes,” Luna said. “We would enjoy tales of animals, but we find ourselves intrigued by this ‘Ponyville’.”

We spent the next two hours talking ‘candidly’ with the Princess. Catch’s story about two kittens, a porcupine and how several catnip filled balls were broken open managed to get a laugh from Luna. However the Princess delicately and deliberately steered the conversation toward the subject of Ponyville. She pressed for details on minor things like Pinkie Pie’s parties and on the size of Sweet Apple Acres. At one point she asked about what I could tell her about Fluttershy and I told her that I’d never met the notoriously shy pegasus.

Eventually Luna asked about my role in the town, “We find ourselves curious over why a detective would remain in such an idyllic hamlet. Surely you would find more opportunities to work in Canterlot?”

I shrugged. “I prefer the Ponyville lifestyle; it’s much more down to earth. Here everypony has their nose in the air and ignorant of the world under their hooves. They’ll pay other ponies a fortune to keep it that way and I’m always willing to do that if they well pay enough. Of course that doesn’t mean I have to live here,” I said with a chuckle. “If they want me back here they’ll just have to pay extra.”

Luna sighed, “If thy description is accurate we do not look forward to dealing with them.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied. “If all else fails just get Blueblood to deal with them, it’s what he’s for, and Catch here is an example of how not all Canterlot ponies are a pain in the flank.”

Catch put an arm over me and nuzzled my neck. “Thank you, Timey,” she said.

Shining Armour looked up from his cold coffee cup. “How are you two not married yet?”

My heart froze, oh no, you didn’t just say… I looked back toward Catch to see a look of revelation cross her face. I need a distraction, anything, where is Pinkie when you need her?

Catch took her arm back and stepped toward the Princess, “Princess Luna, may I have your blessing?” The Princess nodded her assent and Lucky Catch turned around to look at me.
“Time Turner, will you marry—“

“Reset,” I said as I started to plan my escape. I’d throw my cup at Armour and head for the door yelling something about evil magic.

Just as soon as time started to run backwards it slowed down and almost came to a stop. Princess Luna was staring toward me and she didn’t look happy.

“Thou cretin,” I heard in my head. “How long hast thou spurned the love of thy partner?”

I barely thought of it before she answered, “Thou hast spent too long avoiding the answer she seeks. Give her an answer or we shall be most displeased.”

The reverse flow of time resumed and gave me only a few moments to consider my position. Not many options: if I refuse, Catch will be heartbroken. If I don’t answer Luna might throw me out the window, and only Celestia knows what ancient punishments she might also have in mind. I have to answer, but I should do this on my own terms, and do it properly. I decided to take option three.

Time resumed and Armour asked, “How are you two not married yet?”

“A good question,” I replied. I looked toward the princess, “Your majesty,” I said with a bow. “As you are present, might I ask for your blessing?” The princess’s face remained neutral as she nodded.

“Lucky Catch,” I turned to stand in front of her. “I should have said this before on so many occasions. I know you’ve been waiting with a set of rings ready, and I know you’ve been talking to Rarity about a dress.” I bowed my head before her, “Catch, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she cried as she shot forward and tackled me to the ground. She assaulted me with kisses and hugs.

“Catch, stop that’s enough,” I said as I tried to resist. “Catch, Catch stop! There are ponies watching. Somepony get her off me, for the love of Luna!”

While she held me in a rib crushing grip she looked toward Luna. “Princess Luna, would you be willing to officiate our wedding?” I was unable to comment while I was being crushed.

Luna nodded solemnly, “It has been far too long since we have joined two of our subjects in a union. We will preside on whatever date thou set, be it day or night.”

“Thank you,” Catch said as she went over to kiss Luna’s hoof. I gasped sweet air back into my lungs again as I lay on the ground.

Shining Armour came over with his cup floating behind him and he looked down at me while taking a sip. “Are you okay, detective?”

“This is your fault,” I rasped quietly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” My response was a cough. “I’ll get you another cup of coffee,” Armour said as he walked back toward the table.

I felt a coolness surround me and lift me into the air. Too weak to break out of the field, I was brought back across to the table and placed delicately into my seat. To add insult to injury the seat was moved to make sure I was sitting properly at the table.

“We are delighted to see thou declare thy bond,” Luna said kindly. “It hast been too long since we witnessed a stallion propose and we look forward to thine nuptials.” As Luna smiled at us I could see the little hint of satisfaction. She had me bought and paid for (3).

Catch leaned over to give me a peck on the cheek. I smiled back at her. I never wanted to break her heart or to see her hurt, and I did care for her in my own way. What we had might not be love, but it was probably enough.

As time drew on we were eventually released and the princess gave us leave to continue using the guest facilities until we took the train back to Ponyville. The princess bid us well and we left through the main door before it shut behind us.

Shining Armour nodded toward us, “I should be getting back to my duties. Have a good night.” We returned the nod and Armour started to walk away.

I raised my voice to call after him, “I’ll let you know if I want that favour returned.”

Armour came to a halt. Looking over his shoulder he called back, “What favour?”

“You didn’t realize?” I said as I walked toward him. “You owe me one.”

“For what?”

“Your upcoming promotion in say, a month, tops,” I replied. “Captain Shining Armour has a nice ring to it.”

“What?” Armour asked in disbelief. “I’m still in my twenties, there are much more senior ponies than—“

“Armour.”

“— I’m not even near that point and there are much better guards than me,” Armour blathered on.

I rolled my eyes, “Stop being so damn noble and think, Armour. I’ve basically given you the job on a silver platter.”

Armour’s eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

“You might have noticed that you have a new boss?” I pointed back toward the throne room. “I’ve just given you a good first impression, a recommendation and hinted to the princess that she might need a new captain soon.” I put on my best infuriating smile and chuckled. “’Get armour to do it’, I said to her. ‘He’s demonstrated his competence’ and I told her that the current captain’s looking ‘a bit tired’. Also you didn’t see earlier but Blueblood was furious with Ironsides, and if he doesn’t resign soon then Blueblood’s going to make sure he’ll want to.” I shrugged, “suddenly you’re the best looking candidate when he resigns.”

“I won’t accept,” Armour refused. “I don’t want to earn my position through political tricks. I’ll do it properly.”

I leant my face against a hoof and rubbed my temples. “Alright Armour, here’s how you pay back my favour: when you are offered the captaincy, you take it, okay?” Before he could refuse I continued, “I’ve seen a lot of guards over the last few days and with one other exception you’ve been the only competent one I’ve seen. You need to take that job because nopony else is good enough, you idiot.”

Armour looked away from me a grumbled for a moment. “Alright, I’ll take it. But only if it’s offered to me because I earned it.”

“You already have.” I put an arm around Lucky Catch. “Now do yourself a favour and find a filly friend, you need one.” I gave my fiancé a smile, “let’s head back upstairs.”

As I passed Armour I leaned over to whisper in his ear, “Try asking Twilight Sparkle, she’s got a nice flank.”

We walked away while Armour started to fizz up. Unfortunately he didn’t try insulting me as we walked away and stood there fuming quietly instead.

I ended up pacing around our room when we got back up stairs. I looked up at the clock, 11 PM, I should have been in bed trying to sleep. I probably shouldn’t have drunk all that coffee. Catch lay in bed with a book and a teacup. “You’re going to wear a groove into the floor if you keep pacing, Timey.”

“Just thinking about the new princess,” I replied. “Why was she constantly asking about Ponyville?”

“Well it was the site of the summer sun celebration,” Catch said. “Perhaps it had something to do with her return. Why don’t you ask Pinkie or Rarity when we go back?”

“I will, probably the only place to get answers. We can take the morning train south and— ah, wait.”

“Is there something wrong, Timey?” Catch asked over her book.

“I’d promised to visit Octavia before we left Canterlot.” I looked back at the clock again, “You think she’s still awake?”

“She might be,” Catch shrugged, “nopony sleeps normally after summer sun.”

“Well, gotta burn off that caffeine somehow.” I opened my bags and took out my old scarf. “I’ll be back soon, take it easy and let those bruises heal.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Catch called as I went out the door.

Canterlot at night isn’t much different from the city during the day. The widespread lanterns keep everything lit and cheerful. The only real difference is that the crowds of ponies have disappeared off home or to one of the increasingly popular nightclubs.

A brisk trot brought me to the apartment complex that both Vinyl and Octavia had made their home. Using a large sum of bits – presumably from the same source that paid for my house – the pair had secured two apartments next door to each other.

It still surprised me that they’d want to live in the one city in Equestria that would condemn their relationship. Well the money kept bringing me back to Canterlot, there’s one reason.

I took the ramp up to the upper floors and across the hall to the first of their apartments. Looking at the base of the door I saw lantern light and heard the faint sound of music.

I knocked on the door and the music stopped as hoof steps approached the door. Octavia answered the door in a hot pink dressing gown and a messy mane. I fought to keep my face straight.

“Having a comfortable night in, Octavia?”

“Nice to see you too, Turner,” Octavia greeted. She looked around, “You’d better come inside.” I followed her in and shut the door behind me. “It’s a good thing you came,” she continued, “Vinyl’s out performing right now and I wanted to talk to you privately first.”

My brow creased, “Why do you need privacy?”

“Because I didn’t want to talk to Vinyl about this until after you agreed.” Octavia went across the room to pick her cello off the ground and put it back on its stand. I sat down on a lounge chair.

“You’re not exactly filling me with confidence here. What’s this favour you’re so nervous about asking me?”

“Nervous? I assure you I am perfectly fine,” Octavia said as she took a seat opposite me.

“You’re playing your cello late at night, your mane’s a mess, and you were afraid somepony would see me come in.”

“Ah, yes.” Octavia quickly straightened up and ran a hoof through her mane. “As you know Vinyl and I have been together for some time now and we are looking toward moving into the next stage of our relationship.”

“Getting married?” I guessed. “You’re not the only ones.” I leaned on the back of the lounge and tapped my hoof on the pillow. “I suppose I can set something up, find somepony to perform it and keep the paperwork under wraps. Mayor Mare still owes me a favour for the timber wolf incident.”

“Timber wolf?”

“Don’t ask,” I said flatly and moved on. “Marriages need to be announced in a newspaper or placed on a public notice board. I’ll have to find somewhere nopony would notice.” I shrugged, “give me some time and I’ll let you know if I can make it work.”

“Thankyou Turner,” Octavia said. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear you can manage that. If you wouldn’t mind there’s also another little thing you could help us with.” A nervous smile crossed her face.

I sighed. Any request for a small favour can be followed by a larger one, which you’re usually forced to do as well. “Which is?” I asked.

“Well, you’re the only stallion who knows about our secret, except my father, and you’re supposed to be my coltfriend as far as Canterlot knows.”

“Yes and…” My paranoia alert started to flash.

“I have been considering what to do when Vinyl and I decide to start a family,” Octavia said, and added, “in a few years.”

I groaned and planted my face into a cushion. “So now you want my firstborn.” Catch is just going to love this.

“Well, you did say ‘anything’,” Octavia replied.

“I suppose you missed the unsaid, ‘within reason’ rule.”

“Isn’t it?” She said. “It was my understanding that this is a common arrangement in these situations.”

“Outside Canterlot maybe,” I replied. “There’s no way to hide a baby bump from the gossip circuit here.”

“Perhaps we’ll just decide to go public with it, or spend a year in the country.”

“Octavia,” I sighed, “even I can tell how flimsy your plan is. Think it through, and if Vinyl agrees –” which she won’t “– then we can do it,” I cringed as I realized what I’d said.

“I’ll talk to Vinyl about it then.”

Damn, “Alright… but you get to explain it to Lucky Catch when she finds out.”

I returned back to the guest room just after one in the morning. The lanterns were out and Catch was sleeping serenely in bed. I walked quietly across the carpet, took my scarf off and joined her.

Stirring briefly Catch asked, “What did Tavi want?”

“Nothing important,” I lied. “We can take the morning train home tomorrow. I’ve had enough of Canterlot for a while.”

Luna’s Notes:

(1) We still use the royal pronoun in any formal setting and within written documentation. Beyond formalities our “archaic” tone has also led to popularity among the theatre societies who often request our patronage.

(2) We were attempting to be approachable at our sister’s advice. However it was a long time before we overcame the old habits brought on by centuries of rule in previous eras.

(3) We resent the implication that we have chained Time Turner to a leash. Though from that point on we could easily have made his life difficult. Not that we ever intended to do so.

Epilogue: No Escaping the Pink

The morning train was almost empty as it left Canterlot. After the all night celebration it was going to be a while before most ponies got back into their regular sleeping habits. As we walked back into Ponyville we found the streets deserted, not a single pony walking around.

“Where is everypony?” Catch asked.

“Probably still asleep,” I said as we turned down Stirrup Street toward my home. “Though now that you mention it…”

As we walked up to my front door I noticed something: It was quiet, like the cliché, as the world waited for something to happen. I leant back towards Catch and whispered, “Brace yourself.”

I opened my securely locked door and I was hit by a wave of confetti, streamers and music.

“Surprise!” yelled a wave of voices.

Pinkie appeared behind us. “Welcome to your surprise engagement party! Were you surprised? I know you were surprised, because I got this really major combo that I hadn’t gotten since my sister decided to get secretly engaged and I knew that you two had just gone on an adventure, So it had to be you two. Also, everypony was starting to get really annoyed by the ticking so I had to stop your clocks, but don’t worry I’ll start them all again at the end of the party. So now I’ll get back to my original question, were you surprised‽”

“Very surprised, Pinkie,” I lied.

“Great! Now go have some fun!” With that said, Pinkie disappeared to make sure that the party was as fun as physically possible—or more.

As we walked in the large number of ponies waiting in my house each took the opportunity to congratulate us. Most ponies simply said a few words of congratulations and compliments while some offered to bring gifts to our wedding. Rarity soon managed to track the two of us down and cornered us with a tape measure.

“Turner, Catch! If I could just borrow the pair of you for just a few moments, I have a lot of potential in mind for the pair of you.” She looked almost giddy with ideas.

“Rarity, calm down,” I said. I looked around, “We’re in the middle of a party, for us, so we don’t have time to stand around for... six hours.” I leaned over to Catch and whispered, “Back me up here.”

“Yeah,” Catch said.” We have to talk to ponies about… stuff.”

“Oh but this is just a preliminary measure,” Rarity said in a desperate attempt at justification. “It’s just to get some rough ideas. I shan’t take too long and you two shall look absolutely stunning together.”

“I’m already fine for the wedding,” I protested. “I’ll just wear that hat and vest you made me, or wear nothing at all.”

“And I’ve still got that dress you made for me a while back,” Catch added. “That’ll be just fine.”

Rarity brought a hoof to her heart and looked at us like we’d just thrown her cat in a lake. “You cannot be serious. This is your wedding, a once in a lifetime event. I could not possibly let you wear such casual attire.”

Catch and I looked at each other uncertainly. Any attire at all was formal, and we started to dread what Rarity had in mind.

“You’re not going to let us go, are you?” Catch asked.

“This is Rarity we’re talking about,” I said quietly to Catch. “We won’t be going to the ceremony wearing any less than fifteen different gemstones.”

“I just need five minutes, please,” Rarity asked. I looked around and noticed that other ponies were giving us a wide birth. We were on our own for now.

I sighed, “Okay, but don’t take too long.”

Instead of only taking five minutes Rarity took fifteen. She started with our measurements in a practiced display of magic and followed up by comparing both our coats with colour swatches. Pinkie started to feel our boredom and bounced our way, only to be warded off by Rarity’s gaze.

Our rescue came from a familiar face. “Hey Rarity, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” said Twilight Sparkle, the student I’d questioned a few days ago. “I was thinking about getting some more curtains, Spike has a habit of setting them on fire.”

“Miss Sparkle?” I asked.

“Oh, Detective Turner,” Twilight said as she noticed me. “How’s your case going, there’s nothing wrong here in Ponyville is there?”

“Twilight, my case is finished. Ponyville is where I live and Pinkie threw this party for me.”

“Oh, I never realized. I just moved here as well,” she replied. “I thought you’d be based in Canterlot.”

“Only when I have to be,” I said flatly. “If you were wondering the Panther is indeed real and hasn’t gone rogue, only silent.”

“Oh really? That’s fascinating. Since it was the reason constructs were banned I’d love to get some details about it from you sometime. I could write a paper on it.” Somehow the prospect of a lengthy research paper filled Twilight with joy.

“Sure,” I replied with a shrug. “I’ll also bring your telescope around to your new house. It’s still in pristine condition, though I can’t say the same about the case…”

“I’m living in the library,” Twilight replied. “I’ll be good to have that telescope, the other one’s still in my tower.”

“Wait, did you just say you live in the library?” I asked, adding, “As in Golden Oaks Library?”

“Mmhm,” Twilight said with a nod. “That’s why I missed the surprise. I spent the entire morning reorganizing the books by subject, author and title.”

Something snapped in my head as I considered that. I’d spent a week shelving all those books by title a month ago. It was a minor addition to my position as timekeeper, but an annually painful one. Then Twilight moved in and undid all my work in the space of a single morning.

As I stood broken for a minute Rarity walked on over. “Twilight, I see you’ve met Time Turner. He keeps all the local clocks running on time.” She looked toward me, “I’m done for now, Turner. I’ll need to see the both of you later for a full fitting, but I shall continue working on my designs in the meantime.”

“Wait a minute, Rarity,” Twilight said. “I thought Turner was a detective?”

“You know about that?” Rarity asked Twilight while I went over to check on Lucky Catch.

Catch was standing still and staring at the wall. Recognising a case of severe boredom I called for Pinkie Pie, who appeared a second later. I pointed at Catch, “She’s bored.”

Pinkie’s face took on a rare serious look. “This calls for a super cereal-ally fun party game.” She saluted me and said, “I’ll have her back to normal in a banana split.” Pinkie then picked Catch up and carried her off back into the party.

I turned back to Twilight to see her nodding to Rarity as she said, “I see what you mean.” Twilight looked over to me, “Rarity just told me why you came to Ponyville. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony else about you being a detective.”

“Thank you Twilight, now if you’ll excuse me I’d better go see what Pinkie is doing with my fiancé.” Twilight and Rarity said goodbye and I returned to the party proper.

I slowly made my way through the crowd, accepting congratulations and occasionally participating in discussions. It’s hard to fade into the background if you’re the guest of honour.

After a brief discussion on dental health with Minuette – apparently poison joke surprise can stain teeth green – I found out where Pinkie had taken Catch. The pair was dancing to music from my gramophone player and Catch looked like she was enjoying herself. I stood and watched, happy to see her having fun.

There was a tap on my back and I turned around. Ditzy Doo was standing behind me with a letter in her mouth. “Is that from my Canterlot box?” I asked and she nodded. “Thank you, I forget to check it while I was there.”

I took the letter from Ditzy and she said, “It’s no problem, Turner.” She smiled sheepishly, “Would you be okay to watch Dinky on Friday? I’ve got a long distance courier flight to Manehatten.”

“Not a problem, tell Dinky to come around after school. Oh and Ditz, try not to get lost on the way again. I not sure your management would like parcels being late.”

“They don’t mind so long as the parcel gets there, eventually,” she replied. Ditzy – I refuse to call her Derpy – is Ponyville’s long distance courier, an unusual profession considering her tendency to get lost and crash. Despite that she tends to be very dependable when something doesn’t go wrong. Her daughter Dinky is sweet, clever and adorable, unlike her older sibling Sparkler. But that’s another story.

“I’ll just go see what this letter’s about. Good seeing you again Ditzy, tell Dinky I said hi.” I gave a nod to Ditzy and wove my way back through the crowd to my basement’s entrance. Anything from my Canterlot mailbox, which Ditzy checks for me, tends to be exclusively related to my detective work. So this was something to do in my basement office instead of the ‘normal’ one upstairs.

Dodging a few attempted conversation interceptions I nipped through my basement door and locked it behind me again. Downstairs I put the letter on my desk and got out a little gemstone with a detector enchantment. I sat the gemstone on the letter and let it work. After a moment it flashed green to say it couldn’t find any poisons or enchantments in the letter. I’m paranoid about all my Canterlot mail.

I took out a letter opener and slid it through. Nothing untoward happened so I unfolded it out onto my desk. My heart skipped a beat as I read the letter header.

To: Time Turner, Detective

From: Fabulator, disgraced noble

I read the letter in a rush and reread it again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

Detective Turner, I hope this letter finds you in good health despite my attempts to the contrary. After our recent encounter I found myself rather curious about you and discovered that you’d gone to some extent to hide yourself. An appropriate measure considering.

Never the less, I’m delighted to inform you that there are no hard feelings about your role in my… undoing I suppose is an appropriate word. While some anger was quite natural I soon discovered that the delightful state of affairs in Canterlot’s underworld is in some part your doing. It’s made many of my schemes substantially easier than anticipated. A simple bribe here and perhaps some darker influences elsewhere have done wonders to ease my exile.

Given a few months I should be able to garner some substantial influence within Canterlot; much more perhaps than I was capable of when I still maintained a respectable image.

But that’s enough about me, let us discuss you. I fully expect to encounter you again, indeed I look forward to it, and so you’ll be glad to hear I don’t intend to rid myself of you or do anything to encourage you to come after me. To that end your assistant Lucky Catch and your marefriend Octavia will remain directly unharmed. Fair is fair, of course, so I won’t be expecting you to become involved in my activities unless somepony else asks you to.

As always it was a pleasure to cross purposes with you.

Fabulator

P.S. Octavia’s position in the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra will remain untouched as well; despite some of my own influence in putting her there years ago.

I put the letter down and considered it. Obviously there were several things he hadn’t learned about me. The letter had come through Canterlot so it was possible he didn’t know where I lived, at that point at least. I took the letter across to a clear section of the pin boards that covered the walls of this room and pinned it in the centre. I’d start filling in the area around it as I learned more about Fabulator’s activities.

But that could wait; there was a pinkie party upstairs in my name. I went up and unlocked the door. The party was much the same as it was when as I left. I locked the door behind me and started to look for the next conversation.

Then Pinkie Pie stood up on my coffee table with a familiar object held above her head. “Hey everypony! Time Turner has barrel full of cider, who wants some?” Pinkie called out and several hooves shot up. Rainbow Dash reached the ceiling in her attempts to be noticed. I could only stare as the entire town split up the last of my – illegal – alcoholic cider.

Applejack came alongside with a cupful. “This, that barrel you got off us last year? Didn’t think you’d have saved it for this long, seems a good a time as any ta drink it.” Applejack drained the entire cup in a flash and I saw several other ponies do the same.

“Yeah, that’s the barrel,” I said quietly.

“Woah, that had a darn good kick to it,” Applejack said as she brought her empty cup down. “Ah don’t remember that batch being this good though. Whatcha do to it anyhow?” Considering there was no way to answer that question without lying to Applejack I decided not to answer at all.

Pinkie Pie and Lucky Catch came up to us with a couple of cups that were leftover. Pinkie pressed hers into my hooves and Catch lifted hers up to toast me.

“To us,” she said.

“To us,” I agreed reluctantly and we brought our cups together. I drank, considering the situation it seemed like the right choice.

Author's Note

It's complete, do you know what this calls for?

A blog post asking your input on what story comes next: Blog Link
Also Pinkie's got a party going.

Finally my personal thanks to all of you who decided this was worth reading, It validates my decision to write it.
So again, thank you.

Princess Luna's Foreword

Princess Luna’s Foreword

Few ponies know the truth behind the double life led by Time Turner. A seemingly unremarkable tan stallion bearing the common hourglass cutie mark who ostensibly holds the position of Timekeeper in Ponyville. However Ponyville is simply his refuge from the consequences of his true calling.

Time Turner is what he terms a “Discordian Detective”, a specialized form of sleuth that he claims to be based on the “fundamental harmony in all things”. While he operates primarily within Canterlot he instead chooses to live in Ponyville where the local lifestyle is more relaxed and the food is better.

Since our first meeting with Time Turner we have come to respect the unconventional detective and we have made use of his services on several occasions. As a result of our association we have impressed upon Turner a request for his observations from some of his most notable cases. After his fourth attempt to retire we have begun to format and publish these notes for public distribution.

This volume chronicles the events leading up to the one thousandth anniversary of the summer sun celebration. While not directly involved in the return and subsequent defeat of Nightmare Moon; Time Turner’s actions within Canterlot are worthy of note. Despite his attempts to conceal them.

Throughout this volume we have attempted to maintain Time Turner’s records as they were originally written, including his own observations and any fabrications or outright falsehoods he may have written in. In addition we have included notes where we deem it necessary to add to Turner’s explanation and will be marked by a (1) to indicate an editorial note to follow further below.

We trust you will enjoy our work.

Yours in good faith

Princess Luna

Guardian of the Moon and Princess of the Night