A collection of pony related stories, told by a man named george

by mr.squiggles

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1547

This idea came to me in a dream

This is just something i decided to write, expect a lot of plot holes.

P.S. first story on the site, just got real bored so don't expect anything great, if you have any criticism at all then I'd love to hear it, but I guess for now I can just hope something comes out of it

P.P.S. rated teen for frivoulous language, and I'll probably throw in some weird shit later in the story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-12 07:20:44 UTC

Spike and pinkie pie take over the world with a jelly donut

It was a generic evening in ponyville, you know what I mean? The kind of fresh autumn afternoon, where the air smells of hapiness in the purest form, the trees are already turning their traditional shades of red orange and yellow, forming a firiey color that almost seem to burn. The ponies were getting ready for the annual running of the leaves. Those which have  already fallen off skimmed on the ground, making footsteps when their crisp shapes scrape against the side walk. The air was cool, and felt good against the tired out and messy fur of ponies, who had been worn out by the hard days work.

It's normally on these days that ponies get murdered and raped, is what i'm saying. It was just one of those well described evenings that make ponies wanna just gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you. Today it was Cherilee killing silver spoon, as she was stealing cherilees weed to use in her satanic rituals. But thats a story for another day. Maybe I should change my rating from everyone...

hold on I'll be right back.

...

...

...

Right, anyway my point is it was nice out and nopony had a care in the world, that is, except for Spike. Well I guess nopony still has no care in the world, for Spike is a baby dragon. How about: nopony had a care, but Spike was really fucking pissed. Close enough I guess. I'm sorry I got distracted. Hey, I have an Idea, since I will be your content provider for the next few hours I should intruduce myself, you can just call me George. I'm a man who, after serious exposure to drugs which I got from a mustached arabic man in western ireland, gained the ability to look into other dimensions. Theres just one problem though, they're all pony related. Im not joking, theres like 1,000,000 pony related universes that I can access at will. I didnt even know about the show before and hell, still haven't seen an episode. But hey, if you guys can get off to it, then I'm just glad I can help. Anyway, I decided to start sharing these storys because some of them are pretty interesting, that and my therepist says that I should vent my, what was the big phrase? "Mentally traumatic and disturbing illusions and or hallucinations"?, by writing them out, so I found this website and thought i'd do that and maybe get some street credz on the webz. So back to the story.

So Spike was REAL fucking pissed he was all breathing fire and shit all over the place, and Twilight Sparkle was all like; "Spike, stop being a cunt and go to the fucking dentist!", and Spike was all like, "Bitch i'll see that asshole when I damn well please!". Well, that isnt really what he said. Im kinda paraphrasing, taking some liberties ya know? But you get the jist of it. Spike was angry because the last time he saw the dentist he was put on that freaky gas shit they have. You ever get that? You kinda feel like your masturbating, but your hands are down and your flaccid, or like your on heroin. Anyway, he was on the gas shit and he was really tripping out, and to cut a long story short they needed the jaws of life to get his liver out of the super market. These kind of tragic things are noted, and Spike doesn't like going to the dentist anymore.

"Look Spike," said Twilight, with concern in her eyes, "Theres nothing to fear. The last ummm, incident, was no ones fault and that includes the dentist. I mean who could've seen that hippopotamus coming?". But it was to no avail. "NO!" said Spike, with caps inducing rage, "I'M NEVER GOING BACK EVER!!!!". Twilight sighed, upset at the dragon. Maybe he's going through "the phase", the phase being puberty, assuming dragons do go through puberty. Are their anatomys even simalar to ours? Who knows maybe he actually has a uterus. That'd explain all the pms... but who'll talk to him about these issues? I know, his father! Wait...   shit. "Fine, I'll let you sit here and mope while I go out and find you a father figure to talk you through this." said twilight. "What?" said the boy, confusion clouding his mind or something. "Umm never mind, see you soon!". Twilight then, with great haste, ran out into the night, lets just assume that theres a night scene she could've been searching.

Spike had tears in his eyes, he felt betrayed and angry, and thought aloud through his sobs; "Why do I have to go, I mean I barely have teeth. Wait, I know what'll relly get back at Twi, I'm gonna go to sugarcube corner and buy sweets, then I'm gonna go to bed without even brushing my teeth! HAHA!" Spike grabbed his bit satchel then ran towards the door, halting with one last thought, "Wait, what am I thinking, that isn't evil at all..." he bagan to feel upset at his stupidity, when he realized that he should be buying two sweets! He ran out the door.

So Spike arrived at sugarcube corner. It was then that he realized his plan's one flaw: It was evening, and the store of sumptuous sweets was closed. Well shit, didn't expect that did you Spike? So he went home and masturbated, I'm not gonna describe that though. It was pretty fast anyway, he really likes that white unicorn. I think her names rareby or some shit, I'll get back to ya. So after that he went to bed. It was earlymorning when he awoke as he always does, with the radio blaring the latest pony pop hits, like *insert poniefied pop culture reference here*. He went downstairs, and still saw no sight of Twilight or her dentist shit. This pleased him, but hailed in comparison to the realization that he can get his sweets! I'm soooo eating cake for breakfast, no ones gunna stop myah!, he thought with laughter in his heart. He ran to sugarcube corner to get shit going.

Inside the store of party-tastic pastrys of ponykind, Pinkie Pie was setting up shop when all of a sudden a mysterious hooded pony came in. He had a robe covering his entire body, not a single feature was visible. That is...  except for his eyes. Bright. Red. Eyes. He was like every pedophile chris hanson ever busted plus the grim reaper. Real creepy shit. "Hey mister!" said the element of laughter with her unfathomable morning energy. "You must be a new pony in town and I know because I don't know you and I know every pony in town so you must be new!" *gasp* "Do. You. Knowww what this meeeans?!?!?!" "SILENCE PINK ONE!" said the shrouded stallion(I just came up with that I think it's pretty clever), with evil in his voice that shook the walls and moved the halls and all that menaccing shit. "I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR SILLY GAMES, AS I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DELIVER A PACKAGE." Pinkie frowned and said "Sorry.". Her energy peaked again though, as she began her next sentence: "So where is this special package? Is it in the drawers or under the floors or behing the smores? Is it a small gift or a big gift is it a red gift or a blue gift?" "IT IS-" "Is it a puppy? I've alwaaays wanted a puppy! Or maybe a new game, don't you know I have all the games in eqestria?" "IT IS NOT A GAME, NOW LET ME-" "Unless it's a new game, oh can I play it? I know! I can invite my friends over and we can all play it and eat food and sing songs and have soooo much fun!"

"ENOUGH!" commanded the pony, clearly exsausted. "MY GIFT TO YOU IS-" "Oh wait I know, it's a new sweet for the bakery!" "SHUT UP YOU INSOLENT PIECE OF PINK SHI- wait... yes. I HAVE BROUGHT FOR YOU A CONFECTIONATE CONCOCTION OF COMPLETE COMAND!" Pinkie looked at him confused "Command? What do you mean?" "DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MY WORDS, THEY WILL BECOME MEANINGLESS AS LONG AS YOU DON'T EAT AND ESPECIALLY DONT SHARE IT WITH A BABY DRAGON NAMED SPIKE. NOW-" "Ya ya, don't eat it don't share it don't feed it after midnight. What is it?" The hooded horse (theres another one im on fire) presented to her a jelly donut, it appeared to be of raspberry flavoring. Yuck. "A donut? Well what am I gonna do with it if I cant eat it? Or sell it to baby dragons? I mean theres not really anything you can do besides that." "DO NOT QUESTION MY WAYS SALMON TINTED EQUINE, ALL SHALL BECOME APPARENT SOON." Then, within the blink of an eye, the cowled colt(I looked at a thesaurus for that one I admit) dissapeared.

"PINKIE PIE! I WANNA BUY A SWEET! SO GET ME ONE!" Shouted spike as he ran into the bakery. What? You expected me to have some more alliteration bullshit? Well fuck off that shits hard.