Special thanks to Rhanite for letting me use his picture for the Cover Art, and Lithl, for giving me the advice that helped write this story in the first place, as well as helping to point out the horrible mistakes the original draft had.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.
Vampire the Masquerade belongs to White Wolf.

(Seriously, go read Lithl’s My Little Exalt, it’s way better than my stuff)

Chapter 3
The Wise Words of a Mad Mare

Within Canterlot, there lays a multitude of businesses that cater to every whim one could imagine. Boutiques filled with all the latest clothing could be found on every street, the market was filled with every type of produce imaginable, stores which contained electronics of every kind were in abundance. To the normal eye, it would appear that Canterlot had everything a pony could ever want. However, those who knew better – those who could see past the materialistic – would know that there was more to buy in Canterlot than just things.

On the corner of one of the city’s more run down streets stood an ordinary, nondescript little shop. From the outside, it was not anything impressive; a small building made of brick, with a sign in the window. Had anypony bothered to look at the sign, they would have noticed that place was called ‘Madame Pinkie’s House of Fortune, Open 10 pm – 4 am.’ The ‘Pinkie’s’ was painted upon a board that was nailed over a part of the sign.

Within the ‘House of Fortune,’ one could call the shop anything but ordinary. On every shelf there were vials containing strangely colored liquids, large masks hung from the walls, and in the middle of back room, a table with a crystal ball on it.

A pink pony with a frizzy pink mane and a blue, feathered turban gazed into the ball and muttered, “Soon. They’ll be here soon.”

“They won’t accept you,” said a different pink pony, but with her mane straight. “No pony – kine or otherwise – ever does.”

“It won’t matter, Mina. I’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse,” the first pink pony replied. As she continued to gaze into the ball, she began to chuckle to herself. “Soon.”

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

“Remind me why we’re doing this, again?” asked Twilight, for about the 5th time that night.

“Well, they say that she can find anything, and Ah reckon that blue unicorns qualify as anything,” replied Applejack as they trotted down the street.

“But a fortune teller, really?” questioned Twilight, “I don’t care how weird my life’s become, you cannot tell me that ponies can read the future and expect me to believe you.”

“Well, seeing as it’s been 3 weeks and we haven’t found squat, this is our best option,” answered Applejack.

“Hey, I almost found her, she just proved to be more elusive than I thought.”

“Y’all went to the circus and hoped the illusionist was blue, that hardly qualifies as ‘almost had her.’”

Twilight huffed, but realized that arguing wasn’t going to get them anywhere, so she changed the subject. “So, what makes this fortune teller so special anyway?”

“The same reason Ah hadn’t gone to her sooner. She’s a Malkavian,” replied Applejack grimly. “Malkavians are usually a bit nutty, but from what Ah hear, this one’s the craziest in Canterlot.”

“WHAT!?” Twilight nearly screamed, “You want to get advice from a pony who’s known for being insane?! And you made fun of my circus idea.”

“Told ya there was a reason Ah didn’t talk to her sooner. But calm down there, sugarcube, there’s occasionally an apple of wisdom within their ramblings,” Applejack said, sounding as if she both respected and feared the clan of lunatics. “So, where’s Spike? Shouldn’t he be coming with us?”

Twilight shook her head and explained, “No, he’s meeting with my Sire tonight, updating her on our progress, or lack thereof. The fact that it’s taking so long is starting to annoy her, and she wants updates every other night now.”

Applejack gave her a look of concern and told her, “Well, Ah hope everything turns out all right for you and the little guy.”

After a few more minutes of walking, the pair came across ‘Madame Pinkie’s House of Fortune.’ Twilight sighed and said, “Well, let’s get this over with,” before walking inside, followed by Applejack.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

A pink, frizzy-maned pony was polishing her crystal ball when she heard a jingle at the door, signalling the arrival of new customers. She was just about to enter the front room to welcome her guests, but stopped at the door, hesitation and worry etched across her face.

“What are you waiting for?” asked a white pegasus with a yellow mane, “You look super nervous.”

“It’s just… what if they don’t …like me?” said the pink pony, “I don’t… want to be left alone again. Especially since Z-”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” interrupted the pegasus, “They’d be crazy not to love you. Now go out there and be the bestest fortune teller ever.”

“Thanks, Surprise, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” said the pink pony, pulling the pegasus in for a hug.

After a few moments, she let go of the pegasus and trotted to the door. “Wish me luck,” she called, before walking out into the main store.

The fortune-teller walked out of her back room and into the main room of her store. She saw a pair of ponies, looking at her awkwardly. “Welcome to Madame Pinkie’s House of Fortune,” greeted Pinkie, a large grin plastered on her face. “How may I help you tonight?”

Applejack walked forward and said, “Well, ya see, were kinda looking for a specific pony, and we heard that you were the pony for the job.”

“Well, Applejack, you and Twilight should know tha-”

“How do you know our names?” interrupted Twilight, looking confused.

“Silly Twilight, what kind of fortune teller would I be if I couldn’t even know my future client’s names?”

Twilight looked like she was about to say something, then stopped, as if realizing that Pinkie had a valid point.

“So, as I was saying, before I help you find this pony, we need to talk about my fee,” asked Pinkie, trying to hide her nervousness.

“If it’s money you want, Ah can pay whatever ya’ll need,” said Applejack, as she went to draw her wallet.

“Money?” Pinkie giggled, “I don’t want money silly billy, I want something else.”

“And that would be?”

“One favor, to be called in at the time of my choosing,” said Pinkie, sounding incredibly serious, as if this was the most important thing in the world.

“What?! Applejack, can I talk to you for a moment?” asked Twilight, before she pulled Applejack back a little and began whispering.

Pinkie couldn’t hear much of the conversation, but she caught snippets such as ‘Too risky,’ and ‘Not much choice.’ After a few minutes, the two ponies turned to face Pinkie. “We… accept your offer,” said Twilight, sounding incredibly reluctant.

“Great!” exclaimed Pinkie, “I promise you won’t regret it. Now, please follow me back into my parlor and we can begin.” As they walked into the back room, Pinkie tried to ignore Twilight’s whispered comment to Applejack about ‘Said the spider to the fly.’

Upon entering the parlor, Surprise walked out of the corner she was standing in. “Madame Pinkie, would you or your guests like something to drink?”

“I’ll have a sarsaparilla, do you guys want something to drink? Mixed with blood, of course,” Pinkie asked.

“What? Oh no, I’m fine,” said Twilight, looking a bit confused.

“Ah’ll have a glass of apple cider if’n you don’t mind,” said Applejack.

As Surprise left to get drinks, Pinkie and her guests sat down around a table with a crystal ball on it. “Now, for the answers you seek, we must consult the Mystical Orb of Fate’s Destiny!” stated Pinkie, suddenly sounding incredibly melodramatic. “Do you like my Mystical Orb of Fate’s Destiny? I just got it.”

“Yeah, uh, best one I’ve seen,” Twilight answered quickly.

“This is so stupid, why do you waste your time with that thing?” asked Mina from across the room.

“Well it makes things more fun! Why would I want it to be all serious all the time?”

After a few moments of silence, Pinkie realized that Applejack and Twilight were staring at her. “Right, bein’ serious all the time can be a problem, but can we get a move on? We’re in a hurry, and it’s not like we can afford to be burnin’ daylight,” said Applejack.

“Of course. Now, look deep into the crystal ball, for soon it will reveal all,” stated Pinkie, returning to her melodramatic voice. After about a minute of gazing into the glass sphere, Twilight started to ask, “So is anything supposed to happ-” She stopped as she noticed Pinkie’s tail had begun to shake, then her legs began to flail, and soon Pinkie’s entire body began to twist and rock about, and her eyes had turned pure white, with no iris or pupil. She opened her mouth and whispered in a hoarse voice, “The moon plays in the echoed halls, hunted by the blue sky and white noise. The fiend no longer in monstrous hands will unlock the secrets of death and magic. Within the third tomb, the power of the holy queen slumbers. Ten minus seven equals three.”

After completing her prophecy, Pinkie collapsed head-first onto the table. As Surprise returned, she saw Pinkie splayed out on the table. She dropped the tray of drinks she was carrying and ran over to her, “Madam Pinkie, are you okay!?”

“I’m fine, Surprise,” she said, pulling herself up. “So, I think that’s all the fortune telling I’ll be doing for today, you guys need anything else?” she asked, looking at the two dumbfounded ponies in front of her.

“What was that?” demanded Twilight, “That was just a bunch of gibberish; couldn’t you have just given us some clear instructions?”

“An’ why the hey was that last part just some fancy mathematics?” continued Applejack.

“Girls, girls, this is a prophecy, not a grocery list. Whoever heard of a prophecy that gave clear instructions? That’s just silly!” said Pinkie, as she tried and failed to calm the ponies in front of her.

“I, just, GAH! C’mon AJ, were going!” huffed Twilight, as she turned to leave.

“But Ah’ never got my cider,” complained AJ, who stopped talking after a withering look from Twilight.

“Have a nice night! Oh, and don’t forget that favor!” Pinkie cheerfully called after them.

“Ah won’t, an Apple always keeps her word,” Applejack called back, earning her another glare from Twilight.

After they left, the smile on Pinkie’s face fell, and she muttered, “That… could have gone better.”

“Yeah, they probably think you’re a freakin’ nutjob,” replied a smirking Mina.

“Oh hush up,” Surprise told Mina. “Don’t worry Pinkie, you did fine. At least they agreed to that favor.”

“Yeah, I just hope they keep their promise. I don’t want to be alone anymore,” she said to the empty room. “I’m tired of having no one but myself to talk to.”

Author's Note

I rise from Torpor, to bring this chapter to you all, just before Halloween!

But, seriously, sorry it took 10 months to get this out, real life and stuff. I'll try to do better in the future, so anyways, Happy Halloween!