It's Simple, We Kill the Batmare

by Troll

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Random
Length: 1238

Batman, you got a problem with that bro?

There are three steps to gaining recognition in Equestria. Step one: Find the batmare. Step two: Kill the batmare Step three: Make sure everyone knows you killed the batmare.

The hardest part is step one.

Published 2012-11-03 09:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-03 09:00:02 UTC

We kill the batmare, it's simple

There comes a time in every nation's lifetime.

In any nation that wishes to obtain longevity, there is a mare. A mare that comes to the aid of those who are wronged, to the aid of those who are just, and to the aid of those who are in need. In Equestria, there is such a mare.

A mare who hides in the shadows, who only comes out in the night to bring swift justice to the evil that lurks within the cities. Her cause is simply to do what is right, her means are her money, and her abilities are boundless. Never before has such a mare come to Equestria.

And in this mare rises a hero. A hero who cleans the streets of the filth that lines them, the hero that Equestria needs. In the darkness of the night, an idle call rings out for help, a cry for justice. And to this call comes the hero of the night.

The batmare.

A hero brings justice and vanishes, her identity concealed, just another pony among many. Yet only one among everypony.

But with every hero comes opposition, for bringing justice does not come without a price. Within the cold warehouses that have been long abandoned do these ponies meet, the villains. The batmare is not safe.

These villains, Rainbow Dash and Rarity, look for fame and fortune. There are not many ways to obtain fame and fortune. Yet, these villains are certain that they have found a way.

"It's simple, we kill the batmare."

A simple, harmless idea. Killing the batmare. Doing such an act would bring recognition and fame throughout the land, a hero so revered being crushed. Ponies, for miles and miles, would know and recognize a pony who did such an act. It was so simple. Killing the batmare was the simplest way to gain recognition.

And so, the villains set off on their plan. There were three steps to this simple plan. Step one: Find the Batmare. Step two: Kill the batmare. Step three: Gain recognition for killing the batmare.

There was only one problem, they had to find the batmare. And this was no easy task.

So one fateful night, Rainbow Dash entered into the cold night air and trotted around, head low.

"Batmare!" she yelled. "Batmare! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Rarityused the same call, hoping that the batmare would reveal herself. Twilight Sparkle, from within her home, came out to all the yelling.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"We're going to become famous," said Rainbow Dash.

"How?"

"It's simple, we kill the batmare."

"That doesn't sound simple at all."

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "I don't think you realize just how simple it is. It's so simple. We kill the batmare."

Twilight brought a hoof to her chin. "Yeah, but I just don't see how it's simple."

Rainbow Dash groaned. "Let me spell it out for you. The simple part is when we kill the batmare. That part is all of the parts."

Twilight nodded. "I think I get it now."

"Good," said Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash continued on her trek with Rarity, calling out the batmares name. After futile hours of work, Rainbow Dash realized that she'd have to do some sort of injustice to invoke the appearance of the batmare.

Committing a felony was not something Rainbow Dash's morals could agree with, but it was necessary. Rainbow Dash had to close her eyes as she did it.

She littered.

Almost instantly, as the crumpled paper hit the ground, the batmare appeared.

Rainbow Dash looked at the batmare, and Rarity was too scared to continue on with their goal. She ran away, leaving Rainbow Dash to confront the batmare.

In a gruff voice, the batmare spoke. "You littered."

Rainbow Dash nodded. This was it, all her preparation for this one moment. The batmare was wearing her batsuit, which had the batcape and the batboots, along with the batmask and batccessories. It was totally cute.

But Rainbow Dash knew what her purpose was. Here, in this moment, Rainbow Dash had to do what she had set out to do.

It was simple. She had to kill the batmare.

With a defiant kick, the crumpled up paper was struck by Rainbow's hoof, sending it closer to the batmare. This was it.

"I'd advise you didn't do that," said the batmare.

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Who's going to stop me?"

The batmare gave an angry look, and readied her body for a fight. Rainbow Dash did the same. You may be asking, why did Rainbow Dash ready her body to fight the batmare?

It's simple. To kill the batmare.

Like a loaded spring, the batmare leaped forward, hooves stuck out, rocketing towards Rainbow Dash. Using her fleet hooves, Rainbow Dash danced out of the way, causing the batmare to land on the ground with nothing but dirt in between her hooves.

Rainbow Dash delivered a powerful kick with her hind legs, almost hitting the batmare, but instead she missed as the batmare ducked.

Rainbow Dash thought about why she kicked.

Then it came to her.

It was simple, she needed to kill the batmare.

The batmare jumped up into the air, spreading her bat wings to keep her bat-self in the bat-air.

Rainbow Dash rolled out of the way as the batmare dropped to the ground forcefully, barely avoiding the stomp of her hooves. Spreading her own wings, Rainbow pushed herself forward with a powerful flap and rammed into the batmare with her face.

The batmare stumbled backwards, and as she tried to regain her balance Rainbow Dash pounced. With immense force, Rainbow Dash tackled the batmare into the ground. Breathing heavily, the batmare turned to look at Rainbow Dash, who now towered over her.

"Why are you doing this?"

"It's simple, to kill the batmare."

Rainbow smiled, she had the batmare now. It was so simple, she could kill the batmare. So simple. So simple indeed.

Rainbow raised a hoof into the air, but she did not anticipate the batmares, batspray. The gas got into Rainbow's eyes and she stumbled backwards, tears already forming.

The batmare sprung onto all fours.

Rainbow Dash growled. She swung a hoof at the batmare but the batmare blocked it. Not missing a beat, Rainbow Dash used her wings to provide support while she swung her hind hoofs into the batmare's stomach, still suspended in the air. The batmare flipped backwards.

Rainbow Dash, still in the air, provided one quick flap and flew toward the batmare.

Thinking quickly, the batmare pulled out her batknife. Rainbow Dash instantly changed her course and barely missed a swipe of the batmare's knife. Rainbow Dash landed on the ground.

The batmare leaped to get on top of Rainbow, but thinking quickly Rainbow Dash raised her hind hoofs and threw the batmare over her head. The batmare slammed into the ground on her back. Rainbow Dash flipped back onto all fours and flapped her wings to send her into the air.

Hoof pulled back, Rainbow Dash descended upon the batmare, who lay helpless. Little did Rainbow Dash know she was packing something extra.

This was it, Rainbow was going to kill the batmare. Time seemed to slow down. As Rainbow Dash swung her hoof forward with the added energy of her falling, the batmare, her knife still in mouth, prepared to the end.