Universal Travels: Equestria

by Ninjalink07

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Alternate Universe
Length: 1502

A young adventurer makes a stop in ponyville.

Yeah, this was something that should never have been attempted. Cancelled.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-01 00:20:02 UTC

Arrival

PROLOGUE

”So, wait, you're a real genie?!” I say In disbelief.

”I just came out of a lamp and I have a wispy tail instead of legs. What do you think?”

”Okay, I get it. Sheesh.”

I can't believe it! A freaking genie! I know exactly what to wish for! Who would have thought that that old lady at the garage sale was right?

”Man, this was so worth twenty bucks. So, do I get my three wishes?” I said eagerly.

”Yes,” he replied with an evil grin, ”but be warned, they will come at a price.”

”Yeah yeah, whatever. First off, I wish I could only die of old age.” I stated.

”It is done.” The genie claims with a snap of his fingers. ”What is your next wish?

”I wish I could travel through time and space, and between universes.” This is going to be *soo* much fun!

”It is done.” He repeats, once again snapping his fingers. ” You may now make your final wish. But be warned, there will be a price.”

”For my final wish, I wish that neither the act of making my wishes, nor the wishes themselves, had any negative effects.” *Come at me bro*, I think to myself.

”God dammit. You’re the first person to think of that. I was gonna age you to dust, too. Oh well, your wish is granted. Now screw off.” He said angrily, mad that I had cheated him out of his fun.

”Thanks for the wishes, sucker!” I yell with a chuckle as the genie disappears, along with his lamp. Well, I just got the ability to travel to literally anywhere. I can now live out all of my wildest dreams...... I'm gonna need to make a list.

I walk over to my desk and, after some searching find a pen and a pack of sticky notes. *Good enough*, I think. Time to start this!

Get an infinite space storage cube from the Jimmy Neutron universe.

Learn some magic from the Eragon universe....

Five Months Later

I warp into my bedroom, collapsing onto the wooden floor. After taking a few minutes to catch my breath, I start laughing.

”Oh my God!” I say between my laughs. ”I still can't believe Goku's face when I survived the spirit bomb! Priceless!” Once my roars becomes chuckles, I decided to take out my *list of awesomeness*. I still can't believe I gave it such a dumb name.

”Have an epic fight with Goku: check.”

I looked through my list, reliving all of my previous adventures. I have learned magic in multiple universes, learned how to do the Aether from Ike in the Fire Emblem universe, made my own customized Daedric sword, and even gotten some superpowers. The best part: I'm not even halfway done! Now to see what's next....

Visit Equestria. Side note: humiliate the ”stupid and arrogant” Trixie.

Well, this should be interesting. I always hated that damned unicorn, with her lying, and boasting, and talking in third person. I kinda feel sorry for her though. She's so much of a bitch that she probably doesn't have any friends. Plus, being a traveling performer probably sucks after awhile, especially since she's all alone. Maybe I can help her be a better person... Or pony... Whatever. She needs friends, so maybe I can help her with that. If anything, I can at least show her that she's not so powerful. That would at least get her to shut up for a little while, which probably is going to help her get friends anyway. Oh well, I just hope Pinkie Pie doesn't throw me some epic welcome party or something or something, I'm not good with parties.

After a quick nap and a shower, I figure it's time to decide exactly *where* I'm going. I probably shouldn't go to the canon universe, that would be boring. It should be a universe that every side character has their fan-given name. And, there shouldn't be any current shipping between the mane 6. Also, nobody should have anything against same-gender couples. There shall be no homophobia in my head-canon! Everything else can be at least close to canon. Well, I guess that works. I hope this goes well, since I'm gonna be stuck there for awhile so my powers can recharge.

Prepare yourself Equestria, because here comes Justin!

ARRIVAL

The first thing I'm aware of is the feel of soft grass on my face, followed by the taste of dirt in my mouth.

”Five months of this crap and I still can't stick the landing. I'm disappointed in myself.” It looks like I ended up in the Everfree. Good, this way I can get ready for everything. Let's see now...... I should probably polymorph into a pony. If I don't, I'll probably cause a panic... Or I'll get attacked by Lyra. All I need to do is picture my OC in my head, build up some energy, aaaannnd *poof*. Wow, it feels weird walking on all fours. Oh well, I'll get used to it.

I should try to find a clerk or something so I can look at my reflection. After a bit of walking, I find a nice little pond.

”Let's see now. Dark gray coat: check. Bare hooves: check. Messy, jet black mane with a patch of bright yellow and a similar tail: check. Soulless yellow eyes that seem perpetually annoyed: check. Wings..... uncheck. Well, that's odd. Oh well, I'll fix it later. Man, I gotta stop thinking out loud.”

Well, with that out of the way, I should check to see which of my powers work in this universe. Obviously, my polymorphing still works, so that's something I don't have to worry about. I probably won't be able to do my Naruto jutsus, considering my lack of fingers. Hmm... I wonder. I go over to a nearby boulder, getting ready to shout.

”Man, I hope this works. FUS RO DAH!” I yell, sending the boulder flying. *Sweet*, I can still use Skyrim magic! Now let's check Eragon magic. Pointing my hand... err, hoof... At a tree, I build up some magic.

”Brisingr!” Suddenly, a bolt of fire shoots at the tree, leaving a scorch mark on it. Well, that worked well. I don't even feel tired! Now for one last test. **”Shazam!”** I'm on my way to Ponyville! I can't believe it! I think my inner brony is about to explode. Still, I have to pretend I don't know anypony, or else they will get suspicious. Oh well. I think I'll go to sugarcube corner first, get a muffin or something. I wonder how many bits it will..... Wait, I don't have any bits. God dammit, what do I do now? How am I gonna find a hotel or something? Well, I have all the food and supplies I need in my storage cube, so I guess I'm gonna have to just camp out in the Everfree during the night. As for during the day, I don't know. Let's see, what is something fun I can do that is totally free? Hmm..... I guess I could go to the library. A good book would be nice, plus I get to meet Twilight. I guess I gave no choice.

You know, I've never really appreciated how big this library is. There has to be at least a few thousand books in here! Plus, it has a such a comfortable feel in it. The nice wooden floors, the scent of pine cones mixed with paper; it's so relaxing.

”Hey there.”

”Ahh! Oh sorry, you kinda startled.” So there she is: Twilight Sparkle. It is literally taking every bit of my self control to not let my brony side come out and make a scene. Hopefully, I can keep it up.

”Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Twilight Sparkle, the librarian here. I don't think I know you, what's your name?”

”Oh, I'm...” Crap, I don't have a name. I can't use Justin, that doesn't sound like a pony name. Hmm.... I'm almost all dark grey and black except for some patches of bright yellow... I got it!

”I'm Gold Vein.”

”Nice to meet you, Gold Vein. Say, are you a miner or something?”

”No, I'm more of a traveler. My parents are.... Well, they were.”

”Oh, I'm sorry.”

”Don't be, it's fine.” I honestly don't like to talk about my parents. It's a sea of bad memories and when I think about it too much I feel depressed. I should probably change the subject.

”Excuse me, umm, could you show me where the adventure novels are?”

”Yes, of course. Right over there.” Twilight says, pointing to a shelf across the room with the words ”Adventure Novels” painted on it in large, red letters.

”Wow, how did I not notice that? Oh well, thank you.” I tell her, walking over to the shelf. Let's see now... Daring Do, Daring Do, Daring Do..... Yeah, I think I can see where this is going.