The Standard and Normal Human: Two : Griffon Grumbles

The Standard and Normal Human Two 1 

Let’s get right into this shall we? Right, I want you to picture the most intolerable person you can think of, they can be fictional or from real life as long as you have someone painted in your mind...

Ok, you did you manage that?

For some people that will have been as easy as pie, but now let’s throw that on its side and change the scene. Think Equestria, now do the same thing again except think of the most intolerable creature possible. Several should come to mind, mainly the obvious ones like Dragons, Diamond Dogs, heck even changelings... There are some exceptions for them though…

If however you said ‘Griffons’ then let me point out that you might be quite surprised... Back when this all happened my understanding and knowledge of Griffons in general was pretty bad, that’s putting it lightly by the way... I mean compare them to humans, not every human acts the same way. I guess in mind’s eye I pictured them to be like Gilda, not just in appearance but in attitude as well… Straight off the bat stereotyping them into the same group... I was wrong...

Extremely Wrong...

Let me begin...

It had been several months since my first visit to Equestria, being told that Discord is watching you and that he could grab you at any time is a sure fire way to make me so paranoid, that I actually prepared a backpack just in case he tried anything... No joke... In it contained all of the essentials to surviving in another world, extra clothes, sleeping bag, tooth brush, heck you know the drill. I’ve been pretty lucky when it comes to holidays away from work, I mean it’s only been 2-3 months since my last one and there I was again, a week off. Instead of doing ‘Nothing All Week’ I had been rather busy doodling, I never realized how good I was at doing a drawing that a child could do... Hmm, that sounded better in my head...

Anyway, it was around 7am and the doorbell rang. Once again it was Frank doing his rounds, he was looking as happy as ever...

“Morning Nick!” Frank the milkman chirped, “I see you’re in a good mood...”

There I stood once again, this time I was wearing my black Trilby. Oh and if I called it a fedora before then I was wrong, it’s definitely a trilby. I was wearing my black jeans/shoes/shirt red tie combo, what? I love those clothes, I look classy. “Oh yes and this time I’ve found something to keep me occupied...” I replied, upon receiving the milk I placed it on the side. “Perhaps I can get something productive done now eh?”

“I’m sure you will, take care now!” Frank said as he turned around to continue his rounds, I let out a yawn and closed the door. After I put the milk away I continued my feeble attempts at drawing, I managed to get some writing done as well so I was on top of the world!

Yeah, I’m that easily impressed… But if you’ve read about my previous trip then you would know that :P

Unknown to me, yet again, something chaotic was stirring in the world where the talking ponies derive. However it wasn’t Equestria, in fact it was outside of Celestia’s royal control. It was a kingdom, home to the Griffon Empire… Past the barren wasteland and above the forest itself , you can find this kingdom hiding in between the valleys, overseeing the land... Near the edge of this city was a waterfall which is where the river flows through the forest and wasteland.

Down in the streets of the kingdom, in between the tweed roofed houses, there was a creature skulking around, it was one that didn’t belong. He had the arm of a chicken and head of a goat, it was none other than Discord. He was preparing his own organized chaos in the Griffons front yard so to speak, this was dangerous for several reasons but I’ll go into that detail later. He was disguised, of course, wearing a long dark cloak. I mean it would have been rather silly for him to walk around in the open. But like I said, this will be explained later…

Slowly he reached into his pocket and pulled out something all too familiar, it was a scroll. The very same scroll that summoned me to Equestria the first time round, with a sinister smirk on his face he began to shout the inscription aloud so that all of the Griffon Empire would hear him…

Back on earth I sat at my desk, blissfully unaware of what was going on. Yet again, I was at the computer, trying to come up with some ideas for one thing or another.

However as I was about to save my work the computer screen went black, “Oh what?” I asked in confusion, my instinct was to check the electric trip switch but it was still on, what was even stranger was that the computer was still on. “Hang on a second…” Well that was it, my paranoia had kicked in. I dived for my bag and waited a couple of seconds for something to happen, but nothing did…

I gave a sigh of relief and sat back down on my chair, shortly after this however…

‘Why hello there my boy’

The monitors screen turned purple, oh and it was talking to me in a voice I knew all too well…

I sighed before taking the opportunity to have some fun before he took me away, “I don’t want anything you’re selling…” I told the monitor, “Go back to Amazon.co.uk and find another customer…”

Oh and don’t think that when this happened I was cool and collected, if I appeared like that to Mr D himself it was because I was hiding my emotions. I was quite terrified, I won’t lie about that… I mean come on, I knew why he was here. I wasn’t going to get away from him, I mean how do you run from chaos itself?

The truth is simple… You can’t…

‘What are you blathering on about human?’

“Heck if I know” I replied shrugging my shoulders. ”I was kind of hoping to stall you long enough so that I could get away…”

“U-huh… So how’s that working out for you boy?” Discord asked me, knowing full well that he was stopping me.

“Well let me think… Oh Yeah!” I began as I tried opening my door, it was sealed shut. “You seemed to have locked my door… You’re just-”

“Chaotic? Well it is my nature…”

“I was actually going to say jerk but whatever…” I informed him, there was a short silence… And then finally…

‘… Well you are as strange as the Equestrians say…”

“U-huh…” I replied blandly, “And?”

‘And… You’ve peeked my interests…’

Seconds later a giant chicken hand phases through the computer monitor and grabs me, “H-Hey! Get Off!” I shouted, but he wasn’t letting go…

“Oh where’s the fun in that?” I could hear Discord ask me as he dragged me through, kicking and screaming by the way…

Then he began to drag me to my doom…

The End…

Oh, right… What happened after?

Well this time I landed closer to the ground, he let me go, well I say that but he pretty much threw me. As soon as I was free I went into a roll to protect myself. I bumped into a wall and fell to my back, I was so freaking dizzy I didn’t even notice that the whole kingdom was just watching me, “Ugh… Just… Why?”

Discord leaned over where I was sitting, “Why not my boy!” He said with that smug face of his, “I’d love to stay and chat but I’m afraid that I’m not welcome here… Try to have some fun!”

And with that he vanished into a cloud of laughter and chocolate milk, as for me I just sat there and face palmed. “… Not again…” I uttered to myself while slowly getting to my feet. I had a look around at my surroundings… I was out in the open, well kind of anyways. The city itself was rather similar to Canterlot, with its own Griffon kind of feel to it.

To explain it better?

It was right in the center of a valley, the layout was both completely bizarre but also pretty sweet. You see not only was the castle overlooking everything, but just below were the streets filled with houses with thatched roofs, which was rather similar to Ponyville, that existed for the town’s fo-… Wait, castle folk? Or, maybe valley folk? … I don’t even know… Now maybe this doesn’t sound too strange right? But get this! In the actual mounds of the valley there were what appeared to be small holes, these were homes as well. They were carved out from the inside so that you had a decent living space, how I knew that will be revealed later on… It does make some sense though; I mean they’re part lion so some would want to keep their feet on the ground, whereas they are also part bird so living somewhere high would be just as good. Now I would have enjoyed the scenery even more if not for the flock of guards charging towards me, see what I did there?

“Halt!” A flock of Griffon guards surrounded me; I immediately put my hands up to show I didn’t mean any harm.

“Whoa! Easy guys…” I reasoned, slowly backing up slightly. “Cool your feathers, I’m not a threat-“

“Lies! “, I heard a voice shout, “Discord brought it here himself, it must be his Ally!”

“… It?” I asked in an aggravated tone, “I have a name you know, also I was brought here against my will… Discord is a jerk-“

“What’s going on out here?!” Another, yet stronger and deeper voice shouted, interrupting my explanation.

“Ah your highness” One of the guards began; he was wearing armour and a cape. No head gear though, I couldn’t see the king from where I was… “Discord was sighted in the kingdom, and then he summoned something…”

“Ahem…” I said, trying to get some attention. “My name is Nick… That’s N. I. C. K.”

“You’ll speak when spoken to, Ally of Discord!” The same guard shouted, that nonsense was getting on my nerves. Just behind him was a younger Griffon, with a smaller crown on its head and a smaller body compared to the other griffons. I could not only assume that this was a female, but that it was also a princess of some kind, that’s what I figured at the time anyway. The same guard turned to face her, “Please go back to your quarters…” He asked her, I think she pouted before turning around in a rather disappointed fashion, almost as if she’d heard that before…

Oh and for the record, if I’m 5 foot 6 and a pony is around 3 feet tall, compared to me it’s around waist height. Yes I’ve said this before but I’m restating it for a very important reason, Griffons can either be 1 foot taller than ponies, kind of like comparing Gilda to RD, or even taller than that. Heck the king was huge, no joke. At least 6 feet tall, he towered over me with ease. As for the guards they varied, usually between 4-6 foot. Did you get all of that? I hope so, because explaining that was a lot more confusing than I first thought…

“Ally?” The deep demanding voice said, I looked behind the guard and lo and behold it was the king himself. With a crown encrusted with jewels and a red robe with what I guess was ‘The Royal Seal’ or something imprinted on it, he commanded his guards with little effort. “… Take it away; get it out of my sight!”

I didn’t even get a trial, as soon as I was labelled as an ally to Discord I was stuffed…

“W- Wait!” I shouted, my first mistake of the day was trying to get past the guards and getting to the king. I remember feeling a sharp punch to the gut and then falling to the ground…

“Take him away…” A blurred voice said, after that though I had lost consciousness…

My mind went astray for the most part, I started dreaming about a prison break. I received a nail file in a cake and had begun to file the bars. Oh and by the way, does this actually work? Surely the guards are going to notice if the bar is missing some of its structure… No? Whatever, anyway I had managed to get out and, for whatever reason, I was suddenly being chased by not one but two dragons. They kept screaming, ‘Hey I’m Grump! I’m Not So Grump!’ Over and over again… Not a big surprise since I have been watching Game Grumps for quite a while now… Eventually I turned around to face them and I shouted, ‘Um, can you STAAAAAAWP!’ Through a microphone that I had pulled out of nowhere…

Then just like that I woke up, my stomach was killing me. When Griffons mean business they don’t mess around, heck they have to keep their kingdom safe after all. If I had to say anything I’d say that they are extremely capable warriors, why? Yet again, I’ll explain later… I got up from the ground and had a look around, for a jail cell it wasn’t that bad. Well, I had a bed, toilet, window, oh and a lock chained to my foot. It was linked to the middle of the room which allowed me to move freely around the cell, considering that I was ‘An ally to Discord’ I think I was let off easy.

“… Why the heck is he doing this?” I asked out aloud, parking my backside on the bed provided I began to think. “This can’t be just because he finds it fun…”

“Why not?” I heard Discords voice come from somewhere, I started looking around and finally I looked out of the window. “Aren’t you having fun?”

“What do You Think!?” I barked at him, I was ticked off… Big time.

“Oh my, that look in your eyes… I’d like to say I’m sorry Nicky my boy but I’m afraid I’d be lying” He told me casually, with that stupid smirk on his face.

This was the first time I had encountered Discord in person, up until now he was my favorite character from the MLP universe… Now? Well, let’s just say that he’s down at the bottom, right next to Prince Blueblood… The jerk…

“When I get out of here-“I started, preparing an idle threat to try and blow off some steam.

“Which you won’t, in fact I’d say that they’d probably send you off to Tartarus” He said casually, “You know what that is right?”

“… Depends, are we talking Human Tartarus or… This worlds Tartarus?” I answered hesitantly, I knew he was messing with me but I figured getting angry or upset wasn’t going to help me now.

“No not the ‘Human’ version, too dark for my liking…” He replied, obviously he knew a bit about world. “No, it’s a place where all the nastiest creatures go… Here, I’ve even got you your bag!”

Suddenly a pair of shades miraculously appeared out of nowhere and onto his face, followed by a hat and what appeared to be a glass of ice cold chocolate milk... Literally by the way, the chocolate milk was frozen. “Oh you’re going to Love it! I hear it’s really nice this time of year!”

“… You…I… So- Much- Rage…” I uttered out loud, cutting my own words off without realizing it.

“Aw, there-there… Oh and don’t forget your bag-“He reassured me, then he threw my bag through the bars and into my face.

I removed the bag started ranting, “I swear when I get out-“But by the time I did he was gone, I stumbled to the ground and slammed the floor with my fist shouting “Darnit!” I did this for a while to take off my mind all the crap that was going on, I was close so to breaking I was holding back the tears in my eyes. I sighed it off and dragged myself to the bed to get some sleep, the mattress sucked…

Several hours passed and nothing new happened, yep, you try writing about being stuck in a jail cell for what seemed like an eternity whilst waiting for your impending doom…It’s difficult… I got up and looked out the window from my cell and into the distance, I wasn’t that high up. There was what appeared like a waterfall at the edge of the kingdom far into the distance on my right side, it was the same one that ran through city, there was a small hole in one side of the wall containing the flow of the water, basically they tapped into that and poof, they had their own fresh water supply. The water that was still contained in the walls then fell off the edge of what appeared to be a cliff, this led the water into the forest below and then even further out into the desert wasteland. I opened my bag and took out something reflective, carefully I held it through the windows bars and could see my first problem. I was in the valley itself, meaning that not only would getting out become difficult, but how would I know where to go? I mean it would have been a mess of tunnels and passage ways, getting out using my own instinct was a sure way of getting lost… I suddenly realized that my bag was on my person before I was knocked out, so why did Discord give me it back? It didn’t matter; I hid it under my pillow for the time being so that the guards wouldn’t take it away from me.

Then speak of the devil a guard comes up to my cell, through the gap in the bottom of the cell he slides through some food and water for me. I seized the moment and tried to get some answers…

“Wait!” I shouted, as he was about to walk away.

This guard gave me quite a strange look, “What is it?” He asked in a stern but concerned voice.

“I don’t understand, if you think I’m with Discord why are you keeping me here?” I asked him, this seriously confused the heck out of me.

“I’m going to be clear” he began, I shut up and listened. “We do not know what you are, who you are or even where you came from, but if you’re with Discord then you’re no friend of ours…”

“I tried to tell you earlier! I’m not with that jerk!” I explained, raising my voice as I did. All I got from him was a puzzled look, “What? Does that ‘confuse’ you?” It sounded rather vindictive when I said it, my excuse? None… Did I really need one?

“You think- That all happened yesterday, you’ve been out for the past 12 hours…” He told me, I could barely believe it. “As for if I believe you or not...”

He walked back and forth for a moment, compiling the thoughts in his head. “Well?” I asked, at this point I was holding onto the bars looking rather sorry for myself. “Do I seriously look that dangerous?”

“Appearances are only a feather deep, but if I had to say-“He began but stopped mid-sentence, his head turned to the distance and looked rather irritated. “My lady, this is no place for a princess…”

‘A princess?’ I thought to myself, when you think of them what do you first think of? Peach?

Zelda? They usually sound so innocent, this voice and the attitude that followed however was not what I pictured…

“Stop telling me what to do! I’m so sick and tired of being stuck in one place!” She shouted, from what I could tell it sounded rather ‘Tomboyish’ to me.

“Ugh, listen…” He began, it sounded as if he’d said this many times before. “I hardly think that visiting a prison is befitting to royalty…”

“But it’s so boring! I’d rather get out of the kingdom and explore-“She began to argue, but this guard wasn’t having any of that.

“Enough!” he shouted, he then gave himself several seconds to collect his thoughts before calmly following that up. “…Please, return to your quarters…”

There was a short silence before she answered, “Fine…” I could hear her footsteps getting quieter and quieter as she left the area.

I gave the guard a casual look as if I’d seen it somewhere before, mainly because I think we all have at some point. “… Kid’s these days right?” I said with a chuckle, the guard gave me a puzzled look for a moment before smiling back.

“Tell me about it, she doesn’t understand the importance of her future position… We all know it…” He replied casually, shrugging his wings as did. If a certain Card had seen this then I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t be laughing, also if you don’t get what I just said then shame on you! … I’m just kidding, really…

“I can understand her frustration though” I explained, I’ve had plenty of experience with this feeling. “I mean being confined to one place can become daunting after a while”

“You’re not siding with her are you?” He asked me, confusion yet again took over his face.

“Hey, I’m just trying to see it from both sides…” I began to elaborate, “Sometimes you need to put yourself in their shoes…”

“Shoes?” The guard asked, I swear that puzzled face was getting on my nerves at this point.

“Yeah, shoes…” I replied, pointing to my feet “…Don’t tell me no one wears them Mr-“Then it dawned on me, I never even asked this dude’s name. “Oh! Sorry, I never did introduce myself… My name is Nick, also, before you ask, I’m what’s called a human”

This threw him off slightly, eventually he snapped out of it. “Oh, they call me Clink. I’m in charge of the prison…” Note, Clink can also mean prison. Ironic no? “I’ve been watching over this place for 10 years”

“Huh, seen any tough customers during your time?” I jested, he just sniggered to himself and flexed his arms.

“None that I couldn’t handle…” he replied, this guy was huge. Heck you wouldn’t want to mess with him at all, like ever…

“Pff, show off…” I added, I knelt down and took a bite out of the bread I was given. “So, how long do you think I’ll be here for?” I asked with my mouthful.

“It could be weeks, even months…” He said, at this point that bread I was eating decided to go down the wrong way, thus I had begun to choke. “Um… Are you ok?”

I quickly grabbed the cup of water and downed it as fast as I could, eventually my throat cleared and then I proceeded to take a deep breath before shouting “Months!? I cannot stay here for that long… I- I need to get to Equestria and see Celestia, I could clear this whole misunderstanding up!”

“I’m sorry but the king wouldn’t allow it…” He told me, I gave a loud sigh and took a seat on the bed. “He’s had a run in with Discord in the past, let’s just say that it didn’t sit well with him-“He stopped once again during his sentence and looked into the distance, “Princess, please go back to your quarters, I don’t want to get the royal guards…”

I could hear her scurrying away in the distance, at first I thought the first time she left the area, unless this time she was eavesdropping?

“Look, I’m sorry for all of this but I don’t have any choice in the matter…” He began to explain, “I just hope time is kind to you…”

“Wait, does this mean you believe me?” I asked swiftly, hope had once again found its way back to me.

“Let’s just say that you don’t look dangerous to me” He reassured me, “You hardly look like you could cause any trouble or even start a fight”

I took that comment with a pinch of salt, “… I don’t know whether I should feel relieved or insulted…”

He laughed, nodded to me and walked off down the corridor. I was lucky to get an actual conversation let alone some kind of support, but that didn’t really help me at this point. I mean the last time I was in a cage I was waiting to be rescued, this time however no one knew I was there in the first place so it was definitely not going to happen. No giant chicken was going to rescue me this time, well that’s what I told myself anyway. In fact after I got myself comfy on the bed I had a think, the only two that knew about that suit were myself and Trixie. So surely no one else would have known about it? Well except from the ponies watching the show right? But having said that, even if that were the case there’s no way they could have learned how to move around like that without practice. This line of thinking was hurting my head so I decided to forget about it and go to sleep, well, that was the plan anyway…

I was missing my own room, the cell I was in was a familiar size. It was just missing a computer, TV, heck anything would have been good. As I pre explained I’m a technology nut, I’d be lost without my pc…

“Hey… Um, you!” I heard a voice whisper, I ignored it and carried on snoozing. “… Hello?”

“Ugh” I replied, showing my disinterest in the mystery voice while still remaining rather chilled out.

“D-Did you just ignore me?!” She whispered slightly louder… Wait, is there a world for that? Whispering louder I mean… I’ll Google it later… “Ok, if that’s how it’s going to be…”

The next thing I know I get a stone thrown at me, in the face no less. “Ach! Watch it! Are you trying to blind me?!” I shouted, recoiling and falling off the bed in shock.

What I was witness to was a surprise; it was a rather small Griffon wearing a hooded cloak. Small in stature and rather thin, quite bizarre really…

“Huh, an ominous character?” I uttered out loud, I got up from the ground and walked up to the bars, I started leaning from side to side to try and see their face. “Because this isn’t suspicious…”

“Now I have your attention…” She began then revealed herself by removing her cloak, “I have a request- No, an order” She stated, interrupting herself trying to show some authority.

“U-huh...” I replied blandly, I don’t like being pushed around, I had enough problems like that as a kid… I gave a loud sigh and signalled that she had my attention, “Fine-fine, what is it?”

“It’s quite simple really…” She began, pulling out a key she started swinging it on her finger… Wait, no I mean her claw. “I want you to kidnap me-“ Before she even knew it I was laughing my plot off, in true rofl  style as well. “W-What’s so funny!?”

“Oh- It’s nothing really. Just don’t tell me your name’s Garnet though or I’m going to have trouble breathing” I informed her, I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 9 recently and this whole scenario sounded extremely familiar. “Tell me your name, is it sweet?”

“What? No My-“ She started, but my own amusement came first.

Before she even had a chance to finish that sentence I shouted, “She said, ‘My Boy its Dagger! Oh Yeah” Oh and look up ‘Chelsea Dagger’ on YouTube, that song is very good.

As I was chuckling away her eyes were questioning my sanity, not the best thing to happen since they thought I was helping chaos himself. I took a moment and collected myself so I was calm, several deep breaths later… “So… Why do you need my help?”

She took a moment to answer; I think my actions had thrown her off slightly. “I overheard you and the guard talking, you’ve been to Equestria right?”

“Yeah, that’s right” I confirmed for her, I can be serious when I need to be… Those occasions however are rather rare…

“Look, I’ve been stuck in this kingdom for too long” She elaborated, “I’ve read books, seen maps and pictures of Equestria. I want to go there myself, I want a chance to be free…”

I could see exactly what she was getting at “…And I need to get there to prove my innocence… Not only that but I know my way… So in other words-“

“We can help each other out! You can find a way back to… Wherever it is you come from, and I can finally explore life outside of the kingdom and finally see Equestria for myself…” She brought her hand- Ugh, I mean claw forward through the bars.

At this point I was tallying up and weighing all of my options. I had come to several conclusions:-

1.    If I stayed here I would be sent to Tartarus (Note, this would be BAD)

2.    If I went with her we’d be on the run from the royal guards (Note, this would be Extremely Bad!)

3.    … Did I really have a choice in the matter?

That was it basically, I could have done nothing but then what? Heck if I had a chance I was going to take it, no matter what…

I raised my hand and took a hold of her claw, “Ok, it’s a deal… So, how we do?”

I think that sentence confused her slightly, “How we- Oh! I’ll unlock this gate first and then we need to get out of here, they’ll be looking for the both of us…”

This was all well and good at the time, but I still didn’t know what to call her. “Ok, but first- and I’m being serious this time, what is your name?”

“Hmm, it’s probably best you don’t know” She informed me, being mysterious as ever. “… What did you call me earlier that made you laugh so much?”

“What? Oh, Dagger-” I replied, suddenly I realized what she was about to suggest. “… Don’t tell me-“

“Just call me Dagger for now then” Dagger said happily, this was so freaking bizarre it wasn’t even funny… Wait, what am I saying!? It’s Hilarious! Gah! If I had known I would have called Clink ‘Steiner’ too…

She unlocked the gate and we then encountered our first obstacle, you see as I walked towards the door my foot dragged me backwards. I was still chained to the floor, “Oh, I completely forgot about that!” Dagger informed me, I was not amused.

“Considering I thought you had a ‘Good’ escape plan I am very disappoint” I told her, this wasn’t the best start to an escape. “Ideas?”

“Can’t you break the chains with your human abilities?” Dagger asked me, clearly she hadn’t a clue about what I was at the time.

“… I do hope your joking right?” I replied, I wasn’t finding this remotely funny. “Humans don’t have any special abilities, our world doesn’t have magic in it… End of”

“R-really?” She stuttered, I guess a world without magic would sound rather bizarre to creatures of this world. “Ok… Um, I guess I can try breaking it…”

She walked into the cell and wrapped the chain around her arm, then she started yanking that thing with everything she had. I seriously had my doubts at this point, but what else was there? She looked like she was struggling a bit, “Um… You doing alright there?” She didn’t answer, I think she was too busy trying to get me free.

Moments later however the chain unhooked itself from the ground, ironically she was still pulling when she did it. This of course sent me flying with the chain, just like out of some 90’s cartoon… It hurt, a lot…

“Um, whoops… Sorry” Dagger said, looking innocent after accidentally launching me into a word of pain… It has another name however, it’s called the ceiling… I landed back onto the ground and wished cartoon physics didn’t exist, but also I realized that this Griffon wasn’t as weak as I first thought. The only problem now that that the chain was still hooked to my leg, I figured I couldn’t do anything to get it off so I took it and wrapped it around my waist like a belt. But it was still loose enough so that my leg was free to move, it wasn’t very comfy but we didn’t have time to mess around.

“Right, let’s get out of here…” I announced, I walked out of my cell and then felt rather stupid. “… Um, so which way are we going?”

Dagger face… clawed… Ugh hang on, that sounded terrible… “Ugh, it’s this way, oh and I’d better leave this behind” She took off her crown and placed it on a pillow in the middle of the room, “I don’t want to imagine the lecture I’d get if I lost that… Right, it’s this way!”

She led me down the corridor to freedom, well I had hoped so anyway. It was as I had feared, it was a bunch of long tunnels and pathways. Did I mention I have a problem with enclosed spaces?

This trek was about to get rather uncomfortable however, all because Dagger turned around and said that one word- No, that sound, that tells you and everybody else around you that this person is unsure. “Um… I think it’s this way…”

Um. That’s the one, let me give you some friendly advice, if you’re driving along and you need to stop for directions, remember this. If they say ‘Um’, just drive away… Top Gear taught me that :P

Then we took that wrong turn and it made everything go very badly, we walked around a corner and it was crowded… With Griffon Guards no less, it turned out that we were right in the middle of the guards barracks, it was so freaking awkward.

We were staring each other down, there was an awkward silence until eventually, “So um… we’re just passing through… No need to get up we’ll move along” I uttered with a smile on my face, nothing seems to go the same way like you see in cartoons or Anime does it?

“He has the princess!” One of the guards shouted, for a split second I didn’t know why he thought that. I looked down and Dagger had taken that same chain and wrapped it around her hands… Claws… I swear this is getting old but hey, I guess I have to be accurate… I didn’t even notice when she took that chain but whatever, it didn’t matter now. So yeah, that’s when I panicked.

“Crap! Let’s Book it!” I shouted, taking hold of the chain I took Dagger and legged it. We charged through the tunnels and I swear to you right now, it was just like Scooby-Doo. It felt like we had run through the same pathways and tunnels over and over again, if I could have played some Benny Hill chase music I would have died happy…

After what felt like yet another eternity we had finally escaped what was the Griffon’s royal prison or something like that, it turned out it wasn’t just a prison. Like I said this tunnel system was so crazy I didn’t really know where I was going, we passed many different areas all built into the valley itself. Even though I only saw through the doorways I had a good idea of what I saw, a vast library that would put even Miss Sparkle’s own collection to shame. What appeared like some kind of court, I wanted to charge in slam the table and shout ‘Objection!’ But, we didn’t really have time for that.

Eventually we found ourselves out in broad daylight, Dagger led me down the stairs which led us into the city itself. I didn’t realize it but she was leading us to the waterfall I had spotted in the prison, I learn't why later and then quickly wished I that hadn’t…The guards were fast, faster than me anyway. But Dagger was the one pulling me along, by the chain no less. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought that she had been planning her escape for a long time, she never stopped once no matter how tired she was… She wanted to be free, it was blatantly obvious…

“Don’t stop! Just keep running!” Dagger shouted back at me, almost as if didn’t know this very basic premise.

“You Think I Don’t Know That!?” I barked back at her, her response was a quick yank on the chain that she was dragging me by. I was lucky it wasn’t so tight, otherwise I’d have been dragged along the ground… Painfully by the way.

The griffon citizens I ran past saw me and high tailed it away from me, not like I wasn’t expecting that though right? I looked into the distance and I could see more Griffons coming from the walls, literally. You know those holes I was talking about built into the valley? They swooped down from the holes and chased after us, but Dagger was quicker, much quicker. We stopped when we got to the waterfall, we didn’t exactly have anywhere to go… We stopped just near the edge, it wasn’t open or anything like that, and there was a fence for safety so you couldn’t just walk off. The Health and Safety regulators would have a total fit if they saw that…

“Halt! Hand over the princess immediately ally of chaos-“One of the guards shouted, I however interrupted him as I had just about had enough.

“Shut Up bird brain!” I shouted back angrily, “You know nothing about me, yet you seem to have prejudged me just because Discord brought me here!”

“Nick! What are you doing!?” I heard a voice shout out to me, next thing I see is Clink scrambling past the guards making his way to the front. “Where are you taking the princess?!”

“Listen to me when I say this ok?” I began, all the guards were getting ready to jump us but I think they were also trying to keep some distance. Why do I think this? Well can a bird swim? Oh and what do cats hate? Water of course… “If this is the only way to prove my innocence then I have no choice, you didn’t listen to me and now I have been forced to take action!” That statement was partially true obviously, as for the rest? I bluffed, I made a deal to help Dagger out and I wasn’t going to go back on deal.

I was looking around for an escape route, it wasn’t looking good as the only way we could go was down the waterfall itself. I didn’t want to use that escape route, I was still looking around for somewhere to run to… Unfortunately for me however Dagger decided to make a decision for the both of us as she decided to climb onto the fence and then dive off, this in turn dragged me towards the edge of the fence and then launched me over the edge. Shortly after this I started plummeting downwards whilst trying not to wet myself in total shock and fear, I hate heights and the feeling of falling, it just wasn’t my day.

“Ok, Hang on!” Dagger shouted, I could barely hear her because I was screaming on the way down. I could see what she was trying to do, she was flapping her wings and trying to slow us as we descended down, it wasn’t working. “Ugh, you weigh too much! I can’t stop us!”

“This is the LAST time I EVER listen to one of your bright ideas!” I yelled to Dagger, my eyes began to dart around as I was beginning to lose consciousness. I tried to shake my head to keep myself awake but alas it was no good, before we hit the water’s surface I remember Dagger grabbing me and twisting me towards the sky. She was going to take the brunt of the impact…

And then?

Um… I don’t really know what else to tell you to be quite frank, I remember waking up in the deep dark forest, which as I recall was just below of the Griffon Empire. I coughed up some water and rolled to my side, I wish that I hadn’t however. I let out a sharp shout in pain, I soon realized that my left arm hurt like crazy.

I could see Dagger on the floor so I made my way to her, she wasn’t conscious and her wing looked rather beat up.

“Hey! Dagger!” I shouted as I tried to wake her up, I knelt down to see if she was breathing. I soon realized that because I was on the river side when I woke up, she must have dragged me ashore.

I looked at my arm, I must have hit a sharp rock or something because it was grazed pretty bad, nothing major but it hurt to move it. I sat down to try and remember what had just happened, I recall falling for a long time. Well that was a no brainer right? I was thrashed around by the waters current, as we were forced further and further down the river bed the rocks began to point upwards above water level. I was pretty sure I bashed into rocks as we struggled, Dagger took most of the damage it seemed…

Meanwhile in the distance…

“Find them!”

“Yes Sir!”

“Search over there!”

“Oh crap…” I whispered to myself, I wasn’t really in any condition to move around or carry her but I didn’t have any other options on the table… I didn’t even have the table… I took her left claw and placed it over my left shoulder, and then with my right arm I held her up and began to drag her further into the forest…

‘Perhaps somewhere in there we could get some help?’ I thought to myself…

I knew one thing however, this visit wasn’t as pleasant as the last…