A human ends up in Equestria, how original!by SecretPersonChaptersThe totally original and epic story of Gary Johnson in EquestriaThe Republicrats! Ron Paul! and more!The Green Party.Distric of Columbia shenanigansThe Justice Party, and battle against Navy Pier.The Nazi Party, and a slim problemThe Constitution Party and the District of Discordia.THE DEBATE FOR OF GOOD VS EVIL AND STUFF!!!The Republicrat Party Evolves! Hey! no! Get away from my keyboard!I WONDER WHAT'S FOR DINNER, DINNER, DINANANA... THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS OUT OF PORK CHOPSThe totally original and epic story of Gary Johnson in EquestriaIt had been a long month of Campaigning for the Presidential Election, Which had worn gary down, heck, climbing Mt. Everest was easier than this crap. He had just visited his latest campaign stop, boulder colorado, and was in the tour bus heading to Washington DC for the Third Party Presidential debate on November 5. The plan was to take multiple stops for supporters on the way across the country, but His through was raspy from all the speaking. "Ugg, I knew running for President was going to be hard, but it is harder than Being Governor for 2 terms, climbing Mount Everest, and beating paul Ryan in a marathon combined." Gary said to his campaign coordinator Tom. "Well, I know a show that might loosen you up, but I doubt you would be open to watching it." replied Tom. Gary thought for a second, and replied, "I am open to anything, as long as it will loosen me up." His Campaign coordinator then gave a suspicious grin, and pulled a dvd out from under the rack of the TV on the bus. As he popped it in, he turned the volume way up, and said "Now don't freak out right away, and just enjoy the show." Suddenly, without warning the My Little Pony, Friendship is magic theme blared across the tour bus. Gary Jumped back, and multiple campaign organizers, and the bus driver looked back with confused looks. "What the heck Tom!?" Yelled Gary Johnson, as the others on the buss laughed silently to themselves. "Oh, too loud?" he replied. "My, little, Pony? if somone had video of this, Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama would be laughing their arses off at me!" said Gary. "Oh come on," started Tom, "Just give it a chance." Gary thought for a second, and said, "You know what, fine, i will watch one episode, but as long as it help me relax." Tom grinned, and said in the quietest voice ever "yay!", before hopping onto the small couch next to Gary. ------------8 hours later------------------- "WOOO! YEAH! the grand Galloping Galla was the best!" said Gary as the episodes credit's rolled. "Oh, we better get to sleep." Said Tom. Gary then looked around, the bus was parked at a motel, and everyone else was inside the motel asleep already. "Woa, I have been watching this for, EIGHT HOURS!?" Tom then said, "Welcome to the herd". "What?" asked Gary, but Tom had headed into the motel already. With that, Gary realized how tired he was, and decided to get to sleep. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Gary Johnson awoke feeling restless, and as he felt around, he realized he was not in his bed, but was on some grass. "Wh-what?" asked Gary with a yawn as a slowly stood up. With a look around, he suddenly realized, "Oh god, I am dreaming about My little Pony, NO ONE FINDS THIS OUT!" Why did he think he was dreaming about My little pony you ask? Well, he was surrounded by a bunch of freaking characters from the show. "uhh, hi?" he said carefully, and pinched himself to try and wake up. "AHHH! IT'S A HORRIBLE! UGLY, GROTESQUE OUGHT OF SHAPE MONSTER!!!!!" Yelled some Pink Pony. "THAT IS THE BEST NIGHTMARE NIGHT COSTUME EVAAAAARRR!!!" "Huh, what? Ugly? Ought of Shape!? hey, I am the Libertarian Nomine for President! And what is a nightmare night?" Gary said confused, finding he could not pinch himself awake. "Excuse me sir," said a purple pony Gary recognized as Twilight Sparkle, "But what spell did you use to mask yourself in this form?" "Spell? this is what I look like!" Said Gary, "Can you please tell me this is a dream, and wake me up now?" "Nope, not a dream." replied Twilight, "Now why are you acting so weird? it is obvious you aren't like some otherworldly creature whom happens to be running for leader of a country in a third party." "Actually, you pretty much nailed it." said Gary, as he pulled out his cell phone which he still had, almost confirming his fears that this was not a dream. "Oh man, I can;t miss election day! If I am missing, I will never get at leas 5% of the vote, then the damned republicans and Democrats will continue holding a monopoly." a Rainbow colored pony, he recognized as Rainbow Dash then land next to him. "Republicans and Democrats eh? Sounds like you need some extra help in this war, tell me, do they have arm lazers???" Gary Sighed, and replied, "Umm, you know what, I will just not try to explain how my society works, and ask that you, Twilight, know a spell to get me back home." Twilight looked around, "Umm, how did you know my name?" "Long story" Gary replied, "Now a spell, please, I need to be getting back!" Suddenly, Discord appeared above Gary Johnson, and then Celestia landed behind everyone. Discord laughed, and said, "Well well well, my inter-dimensional chaos works! Now since you all seam to beat me every time I come back to take Equestria, I will just politically take over.. uh" He then pulled a small booklet out of nowhere, read a line, and continued "I will take over the United States of America!" And with that he vanished in a flash. "What just happened?" asked Gary Johnson. "Oh, that was Discord, but he's gone know." replied Celestia in a calm tone. "He just said he is going to take over my country, politically." said Gary. "Oh, I would help, buuuuut, I have enough troubles here, I will just send you back so you can try and beat him in the election." replied Celestia, and she teleported Gary Johnson Back to his Campaign bus. And so, from there on, a new Political Party was founded, the Discordian Party, who's candidate, Discord, has taken victories in all of the Presidential debates, and will likely become President of the United states. Discord 2012, live in chaos. Yeah, why did I write this??? bye the way, I did not proofread it. The Republicrats! Ron Paul! and more!Gary Johnson woke up with all of his staff surrounding him on the ground in the motel parking lot. "Hey, Gary, you okay bro?" asked a Hobo whom had gotten into the ring somehow. "Ugg, Must have been a dream." Said Gary as He stood up, "what time is it?" His lead coordinator Tom replied "12:30 in the afternoon, and we got some news for you." Gary looked at Tom a bit puzzled, "What news?" "Well, a new Party just appeared out of nowhere, and is suddenly at the top of all the polls, the Republicrat party, and Barrack Obama and mitt Romney have joined forces to be elected." Said Tom Suddenly, with a flash of light, Discord appeared above the group. "That's right!" he said, before suddenly appearing next to Gary "Msnbc, cnn, Abc, Efg, blee blu blah! all of the media Organizations have already endorsed me!" He then disappeared, and reappeared on top the campaign bus, "Well, not me directly, but with a sip of tea, those two 'politicians' quickly came under my control." Gary glared at Discord "I know you want to just bring chaos into this country, but why by merging the two main parties?" With that, Discord jumped infront of the group, seated them in movie theatre like seats, and got them some popcorn. "it is simple really, most voters are ignorant to the fact that other parties exist. I considered both parties, both had chaotic and disastrous ideas, but i came up with a BRILLIANT idea! I can just take the two, mash them together, and cut off the parts I don't like, such as 'peace, lower spending, lower taxes, and treating people fairly, Bleugh! So, once that was done, I had to fight off some people. I had to fight Bill O'Rielly, Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Newt GinGRINCH, and the lot of party poopers." Suddenly, Gary shot up, and said "I will not let you manipulate this country! the voters will see right past your idiotic plan!" Then the Hobo said "Well, My high is wearing off, i'm out of here." before running off to fight the Manitores for some magic grass. Discord then Picked up Gary, and teleported to Washington DC, and waved at all of the supporters and camera's. "Man, I do love this game of Politics, I am so good at it! Just look at all of the sheeple!" Gary then grabbed Discord by the through, and flipped him on the ground, teleporting them back to the motel parking lot. Discord then telported a bit of a distance away. "Yeesh! violent! if you want, your invited to my debate in D.C., but I am confident Obamney will win no matter who shows!" Said Discord before flashing away. Gary turned to his campaign team, two guys were fainted, one guy was in a trance, Tom was staring like he could not believe what he had just seen, and everyone else was panicing. Gary then got motivated, and said "Get yourself together people! I know what you just saw may screw up you mind a bit, But the Libertarian Party is the only one left that can save this country before it is too late! Now we must make a B-line for the Debate!" "but, how will we get there in time? Discord said it was tonight!, and were in Colorado!" Said Tom. TOM! YOU HATH CREATED A PLOT HOLE! DISCORD NEVER SAID THAT! But now, we have to go with it, now continue with the story and don't mess up again! "Sorry almighty writer sir!" said Tom to me. DANGIT TOM! THAT MEANS NO MORE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! Now continue and ignore me, your on weak ice now... Tom clear his through, and went back to the story. Gary then asked "can't we just get a plane ticket?" No, that would be too Easy! "Alrighty then, but I am Gary Johnson! I will pull this off, too the bus!!!" Suddenly, a portal Opened, and Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy came through. Wait, this is becoming a Pony in America story... Shut Up Subconscious! I'm just saying, the title is misleading. YOU BREAKING THE F***NG FOURTH WALL TO TALK TO MYSELF IS MISLEADING! NOW SHUT YOU FACE! But you are, me... Grrr, just go on with the story. Tom hopped with glee, his idols from MLPFiM had just appeared infront of him. "OH MY GOSH!!!!" he shouted. Gary then asked "What are you all doing here?" Twilight responded "The Princess decided that something probably should be done about Discord here, buuuuuuuuuut, she did not want to come, so she sent us here without any preparations or Elements of Harmony to beat him." "Okay," said Gary, "How will you be able to stop him then?" Pinkie then jumped infront of Him, and said "I brought Ron Paul!" and She pulled Ron Paul out of nowhere. Gary took a step back out of confusion, and said "how did you? oh, your Pinkie, I forgot." Ron Paul then said "Come Gary, bring your campaign team! We must gather the elements of third party candidates to defeat Discord! I will not let Discord bring this country into chaos, and I know neither will you." Gary then said without a second thought "ALRIGHT! but, what are the "Element of Third Party Candidates"?" "We simply need to get Jill Stien of the green Party, Rocky Anderson of the Justice Party, Virgil Goode of the Constitution Party, Adolf Peacler of the Nazi party, and you with them, and the sixth element, America, will appear. "So let's go find those Republicrats and fight them!" Said Rainbow, obviously she thought they were alien lifeforms with lazer cannons. Then Everyone hopped on the Campaign bus, which was overfilled, and went to gather the other third Party Candidates and challenge Discord to debate by sundown. Oh god this is Horrible, why am I persisting to write this??? The Green Party.I feel so horrible for making you all read this... Well you should! Shut up. I am you, so I am not going anywhere. Why don't we start the story again? You just said you feel so horrible for making them read this, so why not just, not write it? Because, well, shut up... The bus was starting to smell of multiple fragrances, both horrible, and some eloquent. Rarity was very displeased with this, and trying to hide from the smelly humans behind her Friends. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was activly watching the News on the small tv in the Bus's main area. "Your world is so violent... I wish I was there!" "You are here." Gary Reminded her, "and those are just political commercials..." Pinkie Pie then jumped into the conversation "Do you guys have candy here??? What do you do for fun??? What is a Nazi???" Gary simply let Ron Paul fill her in, "We have tons of different candies, but avoid the yellow green spotted jelly beans. For fun, we go shooting at ani-I mean, clay Pige- I mean, er, papers..." Stuttered Ron remembering Fluttershy would die of sadness if she knew that people hunted... Fluttershy then said in a worried tone "I hope the paper doesn't feel anything, and, what is 'shooting'?" Ron Paul thought for a second, and said, "Shooting is taking multiple combustible substances such as gunpowder, loading it into a metal tube with a projectile, of which is sent flying out of the front of the tube, and flying in the direction of ones target, such as paper." Ron's detailed and fast paced explanation succeeded in confusing Fluttershy, but opened windows for Twilight to come in, "Oh, I never thought of using combustible substances in such a manne,r maybe I should tell Princess Celestia about this manner of defense." Gary then decided to say "Twilight, your world would do so much better if you did not let ours effect it." Twilight looked at him curiously, as the bus hit a big bump, and sent everyone and pony into a new position. "Were almost to Decorah Iowa!" said the Bus driver back to the many beings on the bus. Tom looked around confusingly, "Wait, how did we get to northeastern Iowa from Colorado in 15 minutes?" Dammit Tom! STOP OPENLY MENTIONING PLOT HOLES! You have one more chance before I delete you! Tom nervously went back to the story. Rainbow Dash then asked "So, what's in this Decorah? Is this were we get to fight the bad guys?" Gary Johnson replied "No, sorry to Disappoint you, but this is just were Jill Stien is having a speech today." Rarity then said "Well, I hope she has more etiquette than the rest of you, not to be rude, but, did your species invent soap?" The campaign crew then looked around awkwardly, most of them just realizing they haven't showered in a few days. One guy smelled his armpit, and quickly looked away, while Tom, stuttered, as even if he said they had soap, how would he look if he said he hasn't used it? The bus then stopped at a park were Jill was supposed to be having her motivational speech. The people and ponies walked out of the bus, and looked at the mostly barren area. at the far end of the park, a group of people in a circle was visible. "That looks like them!" Said Tom "Alright, now we need to approach her with grace." Said Ron Paul, "She will choose one of us to enter her world and get her to join us to fight Obamney." As the group approached Jill Stien's circle, it became evident that they may have been slightly high, not surprising considering the only supporters for her in Iowa were hippies. Well, with a look around, Everyone in Iowa was high. No wonder this story was written. "Hello Mrs. Stien" Said Gary Johnson. "Oh Hello Gary, here to admit Global Warming exist, and pay tribute to the tree god?" she replied "Well, not excatly" he started "a being called Discord..." Jill quickly cut him off, "No, I will not give you a twenty." Gary looked around all confused, and looked back to Tom and Ron whom just shrugged. "I don't want a twe-" He started before being cut off again. "Sorry grasshopper" started Jill, "but I will become the president because I got an interview on TV." Gary started getting Frustrated, and turned around to ask someone else to step in. To his surprise, Rarity stepped up "I've got this!" She said before trotting up to Jill. "Hello there Miss Stien, is it?" said Rarity. Jill looked up, and replied "Yes, what have you come to request of me young one?" Rarity cleared her throat, "My friends and I were sent her on a mission to stop Discord, whom I assume you have heard as merged the two main, uh, Political, Parties, I think that's how you say it." Jill simply looked at Rarity, and realized "HOLY CRAP! YOUR A TALKING PONY!!!!" Rarity replied "Oh yes, I forgot to mention, I am not from this world either." Jill stood up, and said "Well, even if your an Equine, you seam to have a Generous aura." Rarity looked back to Jill after taking the necklace of a passed out hippie-farmer hybrid. "Oh yes, that is my Element of Harmony." Jill looked at the other in the group, and said, "Well, I guess I will come with you, I also have something for you." Jill then handed a bong to Rarity, whom observed the glorious coloration of the glass. Jill then Whispered to Rarity how to use it, and approached Gary and the others. "I bring Deodorant, now let's get going!" Said Jill as she gave deodorant to everyone on the campaign team. Applejack then turned to Rarity and asked "thats a neat contraption, what does it do?" Rarity replied, "She said I just breath in here, and that makes it easier for ones mind to be creative. Oh this will be very helpful for my dress work!" "Alrighty then, can I have a sniff?" asked Applejack. "I don't see Why not, I want to see how this works anyway." said Rarity, as she took a deep breath of the smoke, and handed it to Applejack. "I don't get it" said Applejack a they trotted back to the bus, "I don't feel anything." "Maybe it takes some time," said Rarity, "I do feel a bit, light headed." Tom then shouted to them "Come on, we have to get going!" He then turned to Gary, "Did, did Jill give them Marijuana?" Gary looked at them as they boarded, and replied, "Looks like it, I think ti doesn't work on Equines, so I think it won't matter." oh how he was wrong... Distric of Columbia shenanigansWell here we are again... It's always such a pleasure... Remember when you went, Crazy? Oh how I laughed and laughed... Except you are me. Why am I so-oh crazy? I live in I-O-wa-a! Pretty messed up, pretty messed up. HOLY CRAP! uhhh, Hi! I did not see you there! I did. WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME!? I thought since I am you, we would have stopped singing on our own. I am so confused... You should be.... Shut up, bye the way, what is next? Discord in D.C. :3 Ahh yes! *Cough Cough* Once Upon a Time... Washington D.C. was having a totally normal day, with normal politicians doing normal things that politicians do. This is boring... Your boring. Just write a better story! Fine... Discord sat in the oval office, with Barrack Obama serving him chocolate milk, and Michelle waving a fan over him. "Want anything else your highness?" said Obama in a Zombie-like tone. "You know what, being as most other antagonists would just love this and leave things this way, I think i will take a stroll outside." Mitt Romney walked in, and said in a pretty Zombie-like tone "Why don't you start 'customizing' the country now?" Discord looked to him, and replied "What a SPLENDID idea! Michelle! Get me a map of this District of Columbia, I think it is time to make it the District of Discordia!" ------------------Meanwhile in the house of Representatives-------------------------- Everyone was asleep when Discord arrived, and The roof had a small leak in it. "Oh dear, looks like you all need to experience some fun!" He said, as he snapped his fingers. He quickly turned the speaker of the House, into a Speaking mouse. He then changed the rooms design to random colors that resembled the design of Bubsy 3D. He then called in a one man band, and had him play loud enough to wake every one of the politicians up, whom found they could not stop dancing to the annoying tune. "Have fun, oh, I called Fox news, they will be here any minute to report this, uh, progress." said Discord as he gave a evil grin, and flashed away. One of the representative turned to another while dancing and said, "Well, this is, this is a BIG IMPROVEMENT!" "YEAH! I love this job now!" replied the other as they high fived and danced like their lives depended on it. Next target, was the Smithsonian Museum's Natural History area. Wait, you got this idea from someone who commented on this story. So? Does that mean, this story is, slightly, popular? e_0... oh dear. You don;t even know what the museum looks like, or even has, do you? Hey! this story is stupid as heck already, and me wasting time to talk to you is worse, so let's continue... Discord appeared in the large room with a flash infront of everyone in the room. He gave a maniacal laugh, and said "I think it's time to, wait, why are you all ignoring me?" Discord looked around, everyone, except and old man whom was sleeping on the ground, was on a cell phone listening to music or texting. "HEY! I am trying to put on a show here!" he shouted, and even so he was ignored. Discord then grunted, and thought of an idea, "I will be right back!" With a flash, he disappeared, and then reappeared with Luna. "So, I need to use my ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE?" she asked. "Yes, now have a go at it." replied Discord. Luna breathed in heavily, and then shouted, "ALL YOU HUMANS! PAY ATTENTION THIS WAY! DISCORD IS TRYING TO GET THINE ATTENTION!" After about 3 minutes Discord grabbed her, and teleported her back, and reappeared in the museum. To his Dismay, that did nothing. "These, humans, are, NO don;t give up yet Discord, maybe they are weak to something in their world!" Discord left for about 5 minutes, and reappeared with Justin Beiber. "Sing I say!" Shouted Discord as he made puffy earmuffs appear and put them on. Justing Beiber breathed in heavily, "BABY BABY BABY OOOOHH" Suddenly, the entire crowd of people jumped, covered their ears, started screaming and panicking, and looked at justin and Discord. With a flash, Discord made justin Beiber vanish. "Now that I finally have your attention, Watch as your new king redesigns around here!" With a big flash, everything started coming alive like it was another Night of the Museum. People screamed and ran from multiple Saber toothed tigers, bears, and Dinosaurs that came from the prehistoric era section. Discord laughed, and looked at a watch he just had appear out of nowhere "MY WORD! It is time for the Rumble! I suppose I ought to crash that party, ONWARD!" With that, Discord jumped onto a T-Rex, and had it charge out into D.C., leading the charge of Rampent Dinosaurs Crushing newspaper stand, and causing traffic jams. -------------Meanwhile in the hall were Bill O'Rielly and John Stewart were beginning the Rumble.---------------------- The ground started to shack every 3 seconds, louder, and more shaky each time, just like in Jurassic park. The crowd started hopping out of their seats, and Bill looked at John, "Are you doing something." John looked back and replied "Do I look that fat to you?" Suddenly, the Wall to were the main entrance was exploded, and a T-Rex walked through toward bill O'Rielly and John Stewart. The crowd panicked and steamed, while the camera guys stayed calm and just recorded it for the live feed. Bill looked up to the T-Rex as it stood right infront of them, and shouted "Hey! Your interrupting our Debate!" Discord jumped off the T-rexs head, and landed between John and Bill. He looked at them, looked at the destruction, and noticed that the camera's were still rolling on them. "Now kiss!" He said as he shoved their faces into each other as if they were Dolls, and then rolled over laughing. Bill and john pulled away from each other right away, and John said "well, that was rude." and Bill yelled at Discord "What the hell! The leader of our nation should not be messing around, and should be balancing the budget..." Discord cut him of from his rant "hey, is it time for, Dressup?" and he then made two dresses Appear, about the size of Bill and John. Bill just groaned and said "Great, now I am being made a doll..." Wait, what did i just write!? You wrote, what seams to be political shipping... This is all your fault. How? you persuaded me to write this. no I didn't, I am just your Subconscious... Your the worst Subconscious someone could have. That is pretty mean. Wait, I am writing this out. Yea, your crazy. shut up. "ROOOAAAARRR" What was that? A Dinosaur rampaging down D.C.'s streets. Oh great... The Justice Party, and battle against Navy Pier.Wait, I don;t know anything about the Justice Party Then don;t write this chapter. But that will leave a big plot hole, AND I HATE PLOT HOLES! Alrighty then, just, wing it I guess. Good idea! The Campaign bus drove on the highway for about an hour, and they were just entering Chicago. The Mane six ponies looked out in awe, as they had no idea what the world they were abruptly sent to looked like. As they looked out the windows, Jill Stien realised something, "Oh, no." Gary turned to her, and asked "what" Jill just stared blankely and said "Oh No!" Then Gary, Tom, and Twilight asked, "What!?" "OOOOOOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Jill. "WHAT!?" asked everyone on the bus. Jill turned to them, and replied, "It is our arch nemesis, ROAD CONSTRUCTION!" Everyone then looked forward, and saw the absolute horror, of tons of cars, stuck in gridlock, and orange signs revealing construction, IN THE MIDDLE OF CHICAGO! Everyone then screamed, "AAAAAHHHHHHH! and Tom's head exploded. Gary Woke up suddenly from the horrible nightmare, and looked out the window, to see the construction was only a nightmare. That was scary. *Sob*, why would you write that? I have experienced such horrors. Well, screw you! With a look around the bus, everything seamed normal, well, as normal as a punch of cartoon ponies, two presidential candidates, and some campaign advisers riding around the nation to defeat an omni-potent being controlling the Nation could be. The bus driver then called back, "We are almost to Navy pier!" Tom then said, "Wait, so Rocky Anderson is at Navy pier? why?" Because I Effin said so! "Oh, alright then." replied tom, once again breaking the fourth wall, and making me loose my patience. "Oops" he said, looking around nervously. Suddenly, Pinkie said, "Look at all the food!" as she looked at Navy pier, "Is that a ferris wheel! I love Ferris Wheels." Jill Stien quickly replied to her, "Yes, this place has allot of cool stuff, but it is dangerous. One could enter with 10,000$ dollars, and be trapped until the were completely broke, and had many bags of useless nick-nackes." Twilight was writing all of this down, and said "So we have to navigate through this place, and avoid getting sucked into the tourist traps." "Exactly!" replied Jill Stien. They all heard a noise, and with investigation outside, Rarity was climbing on a giant macaroni. Gary ran up, and grabbed her off, and waved to the various confused people standing nearby. He then said to the rest "Maybe Rarity should stay here, SOMEONE, seams to have got her too high!" Rarity replied "No no, I am fine, I just need... some......" And with that, she passed out. Fluttershy slightly freaked out and said "Oh! Is she going to be alright!" Jill replied "Naw, it's fine, must be her first time trying out..." Tom cut her off, and said "We should probably have some stay and watch her," he then loked to Applejack, whom was also looking pretty trippy, "And Applejack, in the bus." The group looked around to a crowd of people staring at them in confusion. Tom agreed to stay and watch the two high ponies at the bus, while Gary, Jill, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy got ready to storm the dangers of the large tourist trap. Twilight then said "Okay, everyone get your head in the game, we have to get in, get Mr. Rocky Anderson, and get out! But we have to be really careful..." Rainbow Dash got bored, and shouted "CHARGE!!!!" With that, the group charged into the Navy Pier. They started running past all sorts of gift shops, restaurants, and churros. Pinkie looked around as they ran, and ran up to a place that had MLP stuff. Gary Johnson quickly turned back and grabbed her, "ignore that! Don't get sucked into this place!" She then replied, "but why does that look like Fluttershy, and Ditzy..." Gary cut her off "Magic! Now come on!" Pinkie shrugged it off, and ran up to the rest of the group. after five minutes, they reached the amusment park part of the tourist trap. Rainbow dash stopped, and looked in amazement, "I, must, RIDE THAT AWESOME SPINNING THING!" Twilight looked back, and shouted, "Rainbow! Don't!!!" Jill then jumped up, grabbed Rainbow and continued onward. Rainbow shouted, "But i have to ride that! Let me go!" Twilight replied "This place is getting to you! This for your own good." Suddenly, the group hit the end of the pier, and flew off into the water, as they were not looking were they were going. Pinkie laughed crazily, and Fluttershy temporarily forgot how to swim. Twilight quickly popped her head out of the water, "Oops, I guess we got caught up in the excitement." Rainbow dash replied "Ugg, now i'm all wet..." Suddenly, a big yacht came bye the politicians and ponies swimming in the water, and Rocky Anderson shouted from it "hey! Do you all need some help?" Jill replied "No! Were just swimming around in this, very, polluted water... yes, please, get me out of here." Rocky threw out a few ropes, and pulled everyone onto the yacht. "So, what were you all up to? and, wait, why are four of you dressed as ponies?" asked Rocky Anderson. Gary replied "Oh, i'm the Libertarian Party's nominee for president Gary Johnson, this is Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. And that over there is Jill Stien, the Green Party's nominee for president." Rocky Anderson raised and eyebrow at the odd grouping, "So you four are real talking ponies?" "Umm, yes, sort of." replied Fluttershy, "Thanks for letting us on your boat." "Hahaha!" laughed Rocky, "Well, this is not my boat, I'm renting it. Are you all here because of Discord and His Republicrat Party?" Gary replied "Yes, you know about him already?" Rocky quickly replied "Yes, been watching the news, and I am against Discord because I am for Justice!" Pinkie hopped next to him "So do you wanna come with us and stop him? We have been having so much fun already!" "Yea, sure, why not. I assume you have a mode of transportation?" said Rocky. Gary Replied, "Yes, my campaign bus is at the parking lot..." "Alright!" said Rocky, as he ran up the the controls of the big yacht, and sent it full speed past the Navy Pier, and into the shore. The whole boat hit the shore in a crash. and flipped upside down onto some cars, which flung Gary, jill, Rocky, and the ponies next to the bus. Tom walked out of the bus, and asked "What the heck happened?" Rocky replied "I agreed to help you stop Discord, now let's hurry before the po po's get us!" Pinkie laughed and said "Let's do it again!" Rarity stumbled out of the bus, and looked at the fiery wreckage, "Girl! Why you so cray cray!?" Twilight turned to Rarity, and asked "Are you alright Rarity." "I'm all good, I am in touch with nature finally, I think I will learn a spell to turn myself into a tree." replied Rarity. Twilight took a step back in confusion, and Fluttershy asked "Oh can you use it on me too!" Rocky then pushed them onto the bus, "Come on, let's go! I don't want to loose my judge license!" The Bus then quickly fled Chicago, and Navy pier burned to the ground. Because of this horrible event, many tourist showed up to give their respect to the poor churros that were burned in the catastrophe. Although, there were no REAL casualties. Next time! something happens! I have no clue what, but something is sure to happen! Your a horrible person for making people read this. It's all in a day's work my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy... The Nazi Party, and a slim problemThe Campaign bus continued down the road to Pennsylvania, were they were going to get the Nazi Party's candidate. Suddenly, Ron Paul woke up, and the writer realised he forgot to include him in the last chapter. You moron, you can't just go forgetting about characters! I'm sorry, but let's just go with he was napping on the chair or something. That's a stupid attempt to fix a plot hole. shut up. Ron Paul observed the two candidates they had retrieved so far, "We need to get The Nazi Party's guy next, right?" Gary Replied, "Yea, that is were we are heading, but, do we seriously need a Nazi?" Ron Paul retorted "The Elements of third party candidate's only work when they are all together! Just like all those clitche'd programs." Rocky Anderson than said, "Oh yes, that is why you need me. Anyway, what does the sixth one look like?" Ron Paul looked around, and replied "I dunno." Suddenly, then buses tire completely exploded, and sent the bus off the road, and flying into the middle of a forest. Twilight quickly stood back up, and said "What happened?!" The bus Driver replied "I knew I should not have got the tire that said 'filled with explosive gas' on them. Rarity and Applejack both just kind sat upside down, and mumbled various incantations as everyone else stood up. Jill Stien then asked "So, it is getting dark, when is the debate?" Gary Replied, "10:00, so we need to find another mode of transportation, and fast!" Tom then suggested "Perhaps the owners of the land were are on will let us use a bus or something." Ron paul then said "Alrighty then! Who wants to go out into the creepy forest first?" Pinkie Pie hopped over to him, "I've got this, just got to giggle at the ghosties!" Rocky Anderson quickly butted in, "Please don't start singing." Pinkie Pie shrugged, then hopped out the door, followed by everyone on the bus, except the Driver and the two trippy ponies. With a look around, the forest looked creepy, and the tree infront of them had a piece of paper taped to it or something. Tom walked up to the paper and read it, then realised "Holy crap, WE NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE IT GET's US!" Suddenly, he noticed everyone was just staring behind him. "oh no..." Said Tom, before Slenderman grabbed him with tentacles and teleported away. Fluttershy screamed, and hid behind Twilight, while Pinkie gasped, and Twilight tried to figure out what just happened. Rainbow Dash flew straight into the air, and said "I think we should go, at least that thing can't get me up here." Gary Johnson then said, "Maybe you all should get back in the bus, I will go find help." Ron Paul replied, "uh, Gary." Gary looked at Ron, "What?" Ron paul simply pointed to the bus, of which Slenderman was standing in, while holding a oblivious Rarity and a passed out Applejack in it's tentacles. With that, everyone and pony screamed and ran in a different direction, leaveing Fluttershy alone, whom clambered in her steps and ran after them. Jill Stien ran off for awhile, until comming up to a big tree, she then rested on it. Suddenly, she looked up, and Slenderman was there. "No! Leave me alone! I'm with the green party, we love trees! No! NO! AAAAHHHH!" Ron Paul, Gary Johnson, Twilight, and Pinkie all regrouped in a small clearing. Breathing heavily, Pinkie asked, "That is worse than a ghostie." Twilight looked up from panting, and asked "What do we do now?" Gary looked around, "We find that thing, kick it's but, and get back toward Washington D.C.!" Rainbow Dash flew over them, and said "Heck yeah! That thing could never catch up on me!" Suddenly, a rock hit Rainbow Dash in the head, knocking her down. The group looked at her, and standing behind her was Slenderman holding a bunch of rocks. Pinkie then said, "I figured with that suit he would be a more pleasant person." Suddenly, as Slenderman tried to grab Rainbow, He got shot in the back. Rocky Anderson then came closer shooting him repeatedly with a shotgun. "You stupid! Faceless! Moron! One like you does not deserve to wear a suit like that!" Shouted Rocky. With that, Slenderman Looked as peeved as a faceless person could get, and flung Rainbow Dash into Rocky Anderson. Slenderman then picked up Rocky's gun, and broke it in half, while picking up Rocky with one of his tentacles. Suddenly, a party cannon blast hit Slenderman, flinging him away, while suiting him up in party gear. Pinkie then shouted, "This! IS! SPAAAARTAAA!!!!" before charging at Slenderman while throwing many cupcakes at him. Slenderman took many sugary bullets to the face, and wiped them off. Pinkie then geared up to pounce on him, and shouted "You Don't Belong in this world! DIE!" Then, Pinkie Jumped into Slenderman, causing them both to disappear. Gary, Ron, Twilight, and a nearly suffocated Rocky Stared in disbelief at what just happened. Rianbow Dash got knocked out by a ROCK!? Suddenly, Slenderman Reappeared, looking VERY peeved, as his tentacles were coming out all threatening like, and everything started getting fuzzy. Right the Fluttershy jumped infront of Slenderman, "You, big, MEANY!" Slenderman back up a bit, and then started trying to look threatening while making everything go all static like. Fluttershy then Started down Slenderman, and said, "You will bring back my friends, and anyone else you have taken from hear!!!" Slenderman tried to Beat her in the stare, but the poor thing was defenceless against the horrifying stare. He then started sweating and backing up. Fluttershy then shouted, "Do I Make Myself Clear?!" Slenderman nodded, and teleported away. Fluttershy then stood up, and turned to her friends. "Oh, I'm sorry if I got a little loud." Everyone then hugged Fluttershy, how adorable. Suddenly, Jill, Rarity, Applejack, Tom, and a bunch of random hobos appeared around them. Multiple hobos ran away screaming, while one turned out to be the Nazi Parties candidate. the Nazi walked up to Gary, "I am Adolf Hitle-I mean, Fred Jenkins!" he then looked back and fourth suspiciously. Gary then turned to Ron Paul, "Do we have to ally with this guy? Ron Paul shrugged, and the Narrator said... Yes, just Gooooo! Gary Then Shrugged, "Well, come along, we need to get one more guy before going to D.C." Fred Jenkins then rubbed his hands together menacingly, and said "Hehehe, that sounds like a good plan..." Twilight then asked, "Your going to throw him in jail after this, right?" Gary replied, "Of course." Hmm, eventful chapter I guess... This story is a piece of crap. Your a piece of crap. You just called yourself a piece of crap you happy bundle of sticks. screw off Donkey hole... The Constitution Party and the District of Discordia.Discord was Riding a Tyranasuarus rampagin through the street's of D.C. While riding by things, he zapped them and made them more "interesting". By now the Washington Monument was upside down and made of water, while the pool infront of it was made of concrete. He also made the White house float on top a cotton candy cloud, while replacing the secret service with Minecraft style creepers. Not to mention after watching Gravity Falls he made 4 of the Justices of the Court into baby's, while the others were acting like cats. He finished his days worked, and Jumped to the white house. "What a lovely day i have created." said Discord, when he listened to the people screaming, running in circles, acting like zombies, and all sorts of weird stuff. Suddenly, a groan was heard, and Discord said "Alright Alright, what do you want?" Right then, the windows of the white house started to shake, and talking was heard... "D..I..S..C..O..R..D... Gary Johnson, Ponies, Libertarian, Green, Justice, Nazi.... C..O..N..S..T..I..T..U..T..I..O..N.." Discord replied "Wait, he is gathering the other third Party candidates? why?" "E..L..E...M..E..N..T..S.." Replied the voice. Discord looked around, and replied "They think they are going to blast me? well I guess they have not met you my little abomination." The White house started to shake, and Discord Replied "Okay, okay, if it will make you feel better, I will Do something about it. I hear Virgil Goode is here in D.C., So I will make it really hard to get to him through random obstacles! Just remember you are safe in the Media Machine!" The campaign bus was being airlifted by a helicopter that Pinkie got out fo nowhere, while everyone inside was waiting, again. Ron Paul's phone rang, and he picked it up and said "uhu, yep, alright." and he hung up. "What was that?" asked Gary. "Judge Jim Gray, he said Virgil is now in D.C." replied Ron. Pinkie butted in "D.C.!? I always wanted to go to D.C.!!!" Twilight replied to Pinkie "Do you even know what D.C. means?" Pinkie quickly responded " DOUGHNUT COOKIES! DUH!!!" Gary Johnson replied "I am sorry to say, but that is not it, and we need to focus here, i bet Discord will pull some nasty tricks to stop us." Rainbow Dash said, "What can he do?" Gary Replied "Not let us in the debate, sue us, make us eat soap..." Ron paul then said, "Well, Jim also said that D.C. is in total Chaos, and road traffic is on fire, or in bananas, one or the other." Suddenly, the bus shook, and the helicopter lowered it towards D.C. Twilight then asked "Is this safe?" Rocky Anderson Replied "Safety is non of our concern right now! We must complete our mission or die trying!" He said while picking up a heavy style mini-gun. Jill then replied "I will be the Demo!" Tom jumped in "I got Soldior!" Ron Paul then said, "I will be the Engy!" Adolf Hitler, I mean Fred Jenkins replied "I has got's the Medic my friends!" while holding up a really big knife. Rainbow Dash replied to everyone "huh?" Twilight then handed Rainbow a scatter gun and said "You should be the Scout, I have got the Spy!" while twirling a gun in her hooves laughing and snorting. Pinkie Jumped in "I will be the Pyro!" as she pulled out a flamethrower, and tossed it away and grabbed a mobile Party canon. Rarity, whom was not as high, said "I think I shall be the sniper." Gary looked around, shrugged, and said "Well, Let's go!". Rocky Anderson Quickly bashed the door off of the flying bus, causing it to shake around violently, and send the copter and bus falling. Applejack Yelled "YEEE HAH!" As she and everyone/pony else jumped out of the bus ready to rumble Fluttershy then said "Um, eek! Okay!" before falling out face first. Then, everyone landed all awesome like, and the helicopter crashed and exploded behind them, it, was, AWESOME. Fluttershy shrieked, and hid behind Jill Stien, whom reassured her "It's alright, that was not ours anyway." Rocky anderson then yelled, and charged into D.C., along with Everyone/pony else. With entrance into the city, everyone ran forward yelling, and then somehow ended upside down on a loopdy loop in the road, causing them to scream and fall onto the ground. With hast, everyone jumped back up, and charged again, only to end up in a hair solon. "Ooh! Can we stay here?" asked Rarity. "No, we have a mission!" replied Ron Paul. Gary then asked the solon owner direction's to Virgil Goode, and the Solon owner replied "He is at the new Chimera Zoo, it is floating up by the former Libertarian Party National HQ. You just need to go past the Dinosaurs, twirling soap road, and the burning ice floral store and bam, you should be there." Gary replied "thank you my lad!" and everyone ran full speed along with the directions, only to slip on a bunch of chocolate banana peels. "Perhaps we should charge a bit mor cautiously..." said Tom. "Yea, let's do that." Replied Gary. After a hour of chaos, slipping on Banana peels, running from creepers, and trolling haters, The group finally reached the New Chimera Zoo. "Alright!" said Ron Paul, "He should be here!" Twilight looked around, and asked "Is that him?" Everyone/pony looked were she was pointing, and saw a mentally screwed up Virgil Goode Rocking in the corner. Applejack walked up to him, and said "Yah need some help here? what happened?" Virgil looked up, and pointed to the gate on the other side of the walkway, "Hudhd;owbx" Suddenly, a load roar was heard, and the Ultimate Chimera walked through the gate. Everyone/pony backed away cautiously, and the beast roared again. "Oh crap!" Said Tom, as the Ultimate Chimera Jumped at them, and everyone jumped out of the way. It Roared again, but this time Applejack swung a rope around it's large mouth. "I swear! your bark it worse than your bite!" Said Applejack as she tied up the Chimera, and left a bow on top. Virgil Goode then stood up, and said "OKAY! I am coming with you because I do not feel safe anywhere else right now!" "Alright!" said Ron Paul, "TOO THE DEBATE!" NEXT TIME! THE DEBATE STARTS! Your not gonna want to miss it! I will. I will make you read it. Rude... yup. THE DEBATE FOR OF GOOD VS EVIL AND STUFF!!!A bunch of various people discord found on the street were forced to sit at the theatre were the debate between Republicrat candidate Mitt Romney and Demopublican candidate Barrack Obama. The idea here was whom ever won, would get to say what the name of the party's would be, and discord would rule over everything. Discord sat in the moderator's seat, while the zombies were at the podiums on the stage, and everyone in the crowd was tied down. Discord looked at his watch, and said "Oh, looks like they aren't going to show, let's begin!" Suddenly, the roof exploded. Discord stared at the roof hole, wondering what just happened, and remember he threw a bomb into the air a couple hours ago. Suddenly, A sheep walked in, and sat in a front row seat. "Alright, the first question is, what should the name of the new Republican and Democrat party together be?" said Discord, as he got some popcorn. With that, Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama did this... Youtube Video Discord stared at Ron Paul, whom had burst in shooting. "What do you want? your not a candidate anymore." said Discord. Ron Paul replied "I would just like to say, I AM ENDORSING GARY JOHNSON!" Suddenly, Gary Johnson Burst into the front door like a bada$$. Behind him, the Mane six had their game faces on, and further back, Virgil Goode, Rocky Anderson, Adolf Hitler I mean Fred Jenkins, Tom, and Jill Stien walked in. Fluttershy then jumped onto the stage, "Were taking over this debate! I mean, if that is okay." Discord stared at the group, then laughed maniacally. "Do you really think you will survive in here? YOU DON'T seam to know which creak your in!" Pinkie Pie replied "Yes I really think we'll survive in here, we very well know which creak were in!" Discord rebutted "Wel well well, Welcome to MY LAIR! Gary Johnson and a bunch of Potatoes huh? Ooh I'm really scared! So your the ones who wanna take me out? Ahaha! good luck." Pinkie Pie retorted with "Relieve yourself or you must face the dire consequences! my subjects are expecting me so please come to your senses!" With that, Discord huffed, and replied "Your joking! You are joking? I can't believe my ears! Would somebody shut this potato up? I am drowning in my tears! It's funny, I am laughing, you really are too much. And now, without your Permission, I'm gonna do my stuff!" "What are you going to do?" asked Pinkie Pie. "Ahh, i will do the best I can!" Replied Discord. Suddenly, the theatre flashed on top of the washington monument. The walls vanished, so only the floor, stage, and crowd forced to watch were still there. around them they could see utter chaos around them, it was now looking even worse than a level from Bubsy 3d! Discord then teleported everyone on stage with their own podiums to debate Mitt and Barrack. Gary Johnson then said, "Don't you think you can best us now! Even if we are just third parties, we offer better candidates than either the Republican Party or Democrat Party ever could." Discord laughed, and said "Well then, let's see about that, LET THE DEBATE BEGIN!" Obama started off right away with a very strategic frase saying "Johnson! Johnson Jonson Jonson! Stien Stien! Johnson! Ponies stewpid! Ron paul, Ron Paul, Paul, PAUL! Johnson." Mitt backed Obama up with "Anderson! Anderson anderson! Goode, Hitler, Goode! ponies, BLEH! Johnson!" Gary and twilight looked Dumbfounded, While Pinkie burst in with "OBAMA! ROMNEY! Obama Obama Romney Romney obama Romney Romney Romney Obama Obama Osama Obama Romney!" Pinkie then fell backwards, "This, *huff*, is, *huff*, hard! *huff*." Gary johnson then said "Stand back, I have got this." Obama and Romney look at Johnson, and laughed, before Gary said "Why don't we get out of Afganistan! End the drug war now! End the corporate and income tax and replace it with the fair tax! cut Spending by 50% or more! Balance the Budget now! Allow gay marriage! Repeal the Patriot act! All of that good stuff that we should run on!" Vegeta! What does the scouter say about Gary Johnson's Political power level? IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!!!!! What?! Over Nine Thousand?! SMAAAAAAAAAAASH! Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney both passed out on the ground. Discord stood there in awe, "Well, you just, won, the debate. But wait! the election is not over yet! and I have a secret weapon to my disposal!" Next time. Awe screw you! What? I made one Dragon Ball reference, might as well make another. >:( The Republicrat Party Evolves! Hey! no! Get away from my keyboard!Discord laughed maniacally, as Ron Paul glared at him. Suddenly Adolf, I mean Fred Jenkins said "When will you all start hailing me?" and he pulled out a banana pointing it like a gun. Rainbow Dash groaned, and asked "Alright Discord, i think we have had enough!" and she charged at Discord, only for him to flash out of the way, and have her crash into some really fat guy's stomach. Applejack quickly pulled out her rope, and threw it at Discord, and he just turned it into a bunch of red tape. Rarity picked up her podium with magic, and flung it at Discord, and he turned it into a large chocolate bar, and ate it. Twilight then said "Discord, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way!", before she charged up the spell she used on the numerous Pinkie's. Discord stared at Twilight, and replied "Let's do it my way." With that, he someone a mirrior infront of himself as Twilight fired, and it reflected the blast into Hostess's headquarters, and blew up a Twinkie. Jill Stien got really angry, and yelled "HOW COULD YOU! TWINKIE'S ARE A GOOD PLACE FOR MY POT!", and with the, she pulled out a Bong bomb, and threw it. Discord kicked the Bong Bomb into congress, and it blasted marijuana smoke through the whole place. "Keep trying, even if you do get me, you won't win!" said Discord. "What do you mean!?" asked Gary Johnson. Suddenly, the White house flew into the spot behind the stage. There, the front of the white house reformed into something that looked allot like this... Suddenly, a face appeared on the center spot, and it looked like Obama and Romney's face mixed together... The Third Party Candidates, mane six, Ron paul and Tom watched in horror, and Discord appeared next to the crazy being. "Gary! Are you surprised? it's me! Discord!" said Discord. Twilight rolled her eyes and said "Yea, we came here to stop YOU." Discord ignored her and said "I assist only the strong and able! that's Discord!" Pinkie jumped up and said "Am i strong an able???" Discord laughed, "You guys look pathetic! The internet sensation Ron paul has already made a prediction..." Ron Paul replied, "Yes I did..." Discord smiled devilishly, "But I won't let that prediction take place!" Rocky Anderson Picked up another gun, "Then, we will make you!" Discord ignored Rocky, and said "You guys will be beaten by the Republicrat Party! The Republicrat Party will be stronger, a more powerful Party than any other!" Gary Johnson replied, "We will see if the American people agree..." Discord continued "Master Republicrat Party, no, Republicrat party, is no longer the wielder of evil. It has become the embodiment of Evil itself... which it cannot control on it's own. It IS the evil power!" Suddenly, some guy in a tin foil hat jumped up and said, "YES! I was right! This conspiracy theorist was right! WOOHOOO! TAKE THAT MOM!" Everyone stared at the guy blankly, and he then said, "Oh, sorry, carry on." Suddenly, the Republicrat party fired a lightning blot at the sheep in the front of the crowd, turning it to a crisp. Pinkie pulled out her Party cannon, and yelled, "TONDA GOSSA BASTARD!" and fired at the Republicrat party, only to have it bounce back off of the "media shield". Ron Paul helped Pinkie back up, and said, "The Republicrat party is too protected by the Media shield to attack is physically! Now is the time to use the elements of third partys candidates!" Gary Johnson looked around, "How?" "Just go on a rant about why each of you are superior candidates!" replied Ron. The Republicrat Party Fired a fireball at them, and said "Hahahaha! Sssslaves! hahahahah, crystals, hahahaha, stairs!" Applejack turned her head, "What is that thing saying?" Discord replied "I don't really know, I would have to turn off the Media Machine to know for sure..." Discord then pulled the turn off Switch, and everyone was doomed. Hey, NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Not what is supposed to happen. Secret..... *sigh*, what? H...E...L...L...O... That, and the reason you are overpowered, is the reason I did not want you out of the Media's Machine, now get back in! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! N...E...V...E...R... Fine, then I will rewrite you out of the story! Suddenly Washington D.C. was back to Normal, but ALLOT better, and Discord was beaten, and Gary Johnson was President. Suddenly, everything flashed back to the way before, and the Republicrat Party showed itself to look kind of Like Giygas, except with a Donkey head on one end, and a Elephant head on the other. NO! The Libertarian Party was the number one Party, and everything was fixed. Suddenly, everything was even worse than it was with Discord in charge, and the Republicrat party was the number one Party While the Libertarians were almost defeated. STOP REWRITING MY STORY YOU BASTARD! You cannot Grasp the true form of Republicrat party attack!!! crap Crap Crap Crap CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAP!!!! The Narrator of the story was frozen in stone, and now the Republicrat Party was in charge. N...E...X...T... T..I..M..E... I E..A..T.. Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson GARY JOHNSON... I WONDER WHAT'S FOR DINNER, DINNER, DINANANA... THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS OUT OF PORK CHOPSDiscord looked at the Republicrat Party, then said "Well, are you scared? I am scared too! So I am going to watch from above!" And with that, he vanished. Gary... Gary Johnson looked to Ron Paul, "Um, I did not expect this too happen." Ron Paul replied "I thought it would look more like a duck head." I.. F..E..E..L... R..I..C..H... Twilight backed up, "Uh, what do we do?!?!" Rainbow Dash looked at the Republicrat party, "Heh, i doubt it is THAT tough, just watch!" Dash flew up to the Republicrat Party, and the stuck her tongue in it's face. So, it properly responed by flashing the thoughts of a thousand years of never ending torture in Hell and being eaten my Satan into her mind. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Yelled Rainbow Dash right before she passed out. Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary... G..O.. T..O.. C..H..I..N..A... Rocky anderson had enough, and picked up his mini-gun and said "TONDA GOSSA! EAT COMBUSTABLE LEMON IN BULLET FORM!" Rocky fired many rounds into the Republicrat Party, though it only responded with shaking and groans. R..o..c..k..y... eat pie! Suddenly, Rocky anderson turned into a Pie. Applejack turned to Ron Paul, "Ron, get my rope." Ron quickly tossed Applejack a rope, and he promptly pulled out a samurai sword from his shirt somehow. C..o..m..e... a..t... m..e... b..r..o...! Applejack tossed her rope around the demonic mass, and Ron Paul Ran up all Samurai Jack style and cut it in half. Then, the Mass reformed together, and blasted Ron Paul to the moon. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Twilight, as she repeatedly fired explosive spells at the Republicrat Party. In return, the Republicrat Party Blasted her back, turning her into an Orange. "You Monster!" shouted Jill Stien, as she threw a very explosiv bong at the Republicrat Party. In return, the Republicrat party blasted her with tons of LSD, causing her to pass out. "Stop the Violence!" Yelled Virgil Goode as he Threw one of his socks at the Republicrat Part. S..t..a..r..t... m..o..r..e... w..a..r..s... said the Republicrat party as it Turned a random turtle into a tank, and dropped it on top Virgil Goode. Pinkie Pie jumped infront of the demonic mass known as the Republicrat Party, and fired the party cannon at it. N..O.. M..O..R..E... Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun... replied the Republicrat party, as it formed a tornado, of which sucked congressmen out of Congress, and fired them into Pinkie's mouth, nearly killing her with stupidity. Adolf Hitler ran towards the Republicrat Party, and started yelling like he thought he would turn into a Super Sayan or some dumb stuff. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAH AAAAAAAHHHH!" In Response to the annoying yelling, the Republicrat Party fired a rubber band, killing Adolf on impact. Rarity had enough, and Fired a powerfull spell at the Republicrat Party, turning it into a pretty doll. "What? It had horrendous hair." she said. Suddenly, the Doll exploded and the Republicrat Party reformed, then Turned Rarity into a person from Jersey. H..i..t... t..h..e... f..i..s..c..a..l... c..l..i..f..f... Fluttershy and Tom poked their heads up from behind a seat, both hugging in absolute fear. Tom then said "Gary, what do we do?" Gary looked at what the Republicrat Party did to everyone on his side, and replied "kick some flank!" Gary Johnson than ran up to the Republicrat party, and gave it a HIADUKEN, and then repeatedly hit it with a bicycle kick. N..o... M..o..r..e... F..R..E..E..D..O..M... said the Republicrat party, as it launched North Korea's out of control Satelight at Gary, knocking him back. Tom looked to Fluttershy, and said "There is nothing left to do but... OH YEAH! let's sign, maybe a random song will help!" Shigesato Itoi Flew into the Room on a jetpack and gave Tom lyrics to the eight melodies, then flew away. "Weird, but okay!" said Tom, as he started "Take a constitution..." S..t..o..p.. singing. Said the republicrat Party, as it made an ear retching sound to shut Tom up. Gary stood up, and said, "Oh, I know this!" *Cough Cough* "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly..." STOP S..i..n..g..i..n..g... Said the Republicrat Party as it fired a beam at Gary, only to be reflected by a mirror. Fluttershy then bravely stood up, and started "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people..." Morons morons morons morons morons morons......... STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! Ron Paul fell into the room from the moon, and stood up, "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom..." Enough Enough Enough Enough Enough! screeched the Republicrat Party as it threw more congressmen. Somehow, Twilight reversed the orange spell, and started singing "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom! Raise your voices..." STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! Yelled the demonic mass as it shook all of Washington D.C. With this revelation, Discord Showed back up and said, "Do something! Don't let them beat you with a song! can't you congressmen do anything!" A random congressman replied "yes, but it take three to four weeks, and requires a lot of pork to be added!" Rarity and Pinkie Pie became normal as the Republicrat Party weakened, and started singing "Take a Constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom! Raise your voices, get your tea now..." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The republicrat party made a loud screech heard across the world, and caused one guy to drop his ice cream. Jill Stien Woke up, and Rocky Anderson became Human again, and they started singing "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom. Raise your voices, get your tea now get liberty now..." GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!!! Then, everyone consecutively sang "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom. Raise your voices, get your tea now get liberty now, sing the melody of rights, oh rights, oh rights, ooooho riiiiiights!" With a loud Screech, everything started to fizzle, and suddenly, flash into a blinding light.
The totally original and epic story of Gary Johnson in EquestriaIt had been a long month of Campaigning for the Presidential Election, Which had worn gary down, heck, climbing Mt. Everest was easier than this crap. He had just visited his latest campaign stop, boulder colorado, and was in the tour bus heading to Washington DC for the Third Party Presidential debate on November 5. The plan was to take multiple stops for supporters on the way across the country, but His through was raspy from all the speaking. "Ugg, I knew running for President was going to be hard, but it is harder than Being Governor for 2 terms, climbing Mount Everest, and beating paul Ryan in a marathon combined." Gary said to his campaign coordinator Tom. "Well, I know a show that might loosen you up, but I doubt you would be open to watching it." replied Tom. Gary thought for a second, and replied, "I am open to anything, as long as it will loosen me up." His Campaign coordinator then gave a suspicious grin, and pulled a dvd out from under the rack of the TV on the bus. As he popped it in, he turned the volume way up, and said "Now don't freak out right away, and just enjoy the show." Suddenly, without warning the My Little Pony, Friendship is magic theme blared across the tour bus. Gary Jumped back, and multiple campaign organizers, and the bus driver looked back with confused looks. "What the heck Tom!?" Yelled Gary Johnson, as the others on the buss laughed silently to themselves. "Oh, too loud?" he replied. "My, little, Pony? if somone had video of this, Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama would be laughing their arses off at me!" said Gary. "Oh come on," started Tom, "Just give it a chance." Gary thought for a second, and said, "You know what, fine, i will watch one episode, but as long as it help me relax." Tom grinned, and said in the quietest voice ever "yay!", before hopping onto the small couch next to Gary. ------------8 hours later------------------- "WOOO! YEAH! the grand Galloping Galla was the best!" said Gary as the episodes credit's rolled. "Oh, we better get to sleep." Said Tom. Gary then looked around, the bus was parked at a motel, and everyone else was inside the motel asleep already. "Woa, I have been watching this for, EIGHT HOURS!?" Tom then said, "Welcome to the herd". "What?" asked Gary, but Tom had headed into the motel already. With that, Gary realized how tired he was, and decided to get to sleep. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Gary Johnson awoke feeling restless, and as he felt around, he realized he was not in his bed, but was on some grass. "Wh-what?" asked Gary with a yawn as a slowly stood up. With a look around, he suddenly realized, "Oh god, I am dreaming about My little Pony, NO ONE FINDS THIS OUT!" Why did he think he was dreaming about My little pony you ask? Well, he was surrounded by a bunch of freaking characters from the show. "uhh, hi?" he said carefully, and pinched himself to try and wake up. "AHHH! IT'S A HORRIBLE! UGLY, GROTESQUE OUGHT OF SHAPE MONSTER!!!!!" Yelled some Pink Pony. "THAT IS THE BEST NIGHTMARE NIGHT COSTUME EVAAAAARRR!!!" "Huh, what? Ugly? Ought of Shape!? hey, I am the Libertarian Nomine for President! And what is a nightmare night?" Gary said confused, finding he could not pinch himself awake. "Excuse me sir," said a purple pony Gary recognized as Twilight Sparkle, "But what spell did you use to mask yourself in this form?" "Spell? this is what I look like!" Said Gary, "Can you please tell me this is a dream, and wake me up now?" "Nope, not a dream." replied Twilight, "Now why are you acting so weird? it is obvious you aren't like some otherworldly creature whom happens to be running for leader of a country in a third party." "Actually, you pretty much nailed it." said Gary, as he pulled out his cell phone which he still had, almost confirming his fears that this was not a dream. "Oh man, I can;t miss election day! If I am missing, I will never get at leas 5% of the vote, then the damned republicans and Democrats will continue holding a monopoly." a Rainbow colored pony, he recognized as Rainbow Dash then land next to him. "Republicans and Democrats eh? Sounds like you need some extra help in this war, tell me, do they have arm lazers???" Gary Sighed, and replied, "Umm, you know what, I will just not try to explain how my society works, and ask that you, Twilight, know a spell to get me back home." Twilight looked around, "Umm, how did you know my name?" "Long story" Gary replied, "Now a spell, please, I need to be getting back!" Suddenly, Discord appeared above Gary Johnson, and then Celestia landed behind everyone. Discord laughed, and said, "Well well well, my inter-dimensional chaos works! Now since you all seam to beat me every time I come back to take Equestria, I will just politically take over.. uh" He then pulled a small booklet out of nowhere, read a line, and continued "I will take over the United States of America!" And with that he vanished in a flash. "What just happened?" asked Gary Johnson. "Oh, that was Discord, but he's gone know." replied Celestia in a calm tone. "He just said he is going to take over my country, politically." said Gary. "Oh, I would help, buuuuut, I have enough troubles here, I will just send you back so you can try and beat him in the election." replied Celestia, and she teleported Gary Johnson Back to his Campaign bus. And so, from there on, a new Political Party was founded, the Discordian Party, who's candidate, Discord, has taken victories in all of the Presidential debates, and will likely become President of the United states. Discord 2012, live in chaos. Yeah, why did I write this??? bye the way, I did not proofread it.
The Republicrats! Ron Paul! and more!Gary Johnson woke up with all of his staff surrounding him on the ground in the motel parking lot. "Hey, Gary, you okay bro?" asked a Hobo whom had gotten into the ring somehow. "Ugg, Must have been a dream." Said Gary as He stood up, "what time is it?" His lead coordinator Tom replied "12:30 in the afternoon, and we got some news for you." Gary looked at Tom a bit puzzled, "What news?" "Well, a new Party just appeared out of nowhere, and is suddenly at the top of all the polls, the Republicrat party, and Barrack Obama and mitt Romney have joined forces to be elected." Said Tom Suddenly, with a flash of light, Discord appeared above the group. "That's right!" he said, before suddenly appearing next to Gary "Msnbc, cnn, Abc, Efg, blee blu blah! all of the media Organizations have already endorsed me!" He then disappeared, and reappeared on top the campaign bus, "Well, not me directly, but with a sip of tea, those two 'politicians' quickly came under my control." Gary glared at Discord "I know you want to just bring chaos into this country, but why by merging the two main parties?" With that, Discord jumped infront of the group, seated them in movie theatre like seats, and got them some popcorn. "it is simple really, most voters are ignorant to the fact that other parties exist. I considered both parties, both had chaotic and disastrous ideas, but i came up with a BRILLIANT idea! I can just take the two, mash them together, and cut off the parts I don't like, such as 'peace, lower spending, lower taxes, and treating people fairly, Bleugh! So, once that was done, I had to fight off some people. I had to fight Bill O'Rielly, Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Newt GinGRINCH, and the lot of party poopers." Suddenly, Gary shot up, and said "I will not let you manipulate this country! the voters will see right past your idiotic plan!" Then the Hobo said "Well, My high is wearing off, i'm out of here." before running off to fight the Manitores for some magic grass. Discord then Picked up Gary, and teleported to Washington DC, and waved at all of the supporters and camera's. "Man, I do love this game of Politics, I am so good at it! Just look at all of the sheeple!" Gary then grabbed Discord by the through, and flipped him on the ground, teleporting them back to the motel parking lot. Discord then telported a bit of a distance away. "Yeesh! violent! if you want, your invited to my debate in D.C., but I am confident Obamney will win no matter who shows!" Said Discord before flashing away. Gary turned to his campaign team, two guys were fainted, one guy was in a trance, Tom was staring like he could not believe what he had just seen, and everyone else was panicing. Gary then got motivated, and said "Get yourself together people! I know what you just saw may screw up you mind a bit, But the Libertarian Party is the only one left that can save this country before it is too late! Now we must make a B-line for the Debate!" "but, how will we get there in time? Discord said it was tonight!, and were in Colorado!" Said Tom. TOM! YOU HATH CREATED A PLOT HOLE! DISCORD NEVER SAID THAT! But now, we have to go with it, now continue with the story and don't mess up again! "Sorry almighty writer sir!" said Tom to me. DANGIT TOM! THAT MEANS NO MORE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! Now continue and ignore me, your on weak ice now... Tom clear his through, and went back to the story. Gary then asked "can't we just get a plane ticket?" No, that would be too Easy! "Alrighty then, but I am Gary Johnson! I will pull this off, too the bus!!!" Suddenly, a portal Opened, and Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy came through. Wait, this is becoming a Pony in America story... Shut Up Subconscious! I'm just saying, the title is misleading. YOU BREAKING THE F***NG FOURTH WALL TO TALK TO MYSELF IS MISLEADING! NOW SHUT YOU FACE! But you are, me... Grrr, just go on with the story. Tom hopped with glee, his idols from MLPFiM had just appeared infront of him. "OH MY GOSH!!!!" he shouted. Gary then asked "What are you all doing here?" Twilight responded "The Princess decided that something probably should be done about Discord here, buuuuuuuuuut, she did not want to come, so she sent us here without any preparations or Elements of Harmony to beat him." "Okay," said Gary, "How will you be able to stop him then?" Pinkie then jumped infront of Him, and said "I brought Ron Paul!" and She pulled Ron Paul out of nowhere. Gary took a step back out of confusion, and said "how did you? oh, your Pinkie, I forgot." Ron Paul then said "Come Gary, bring your campaign team! We must gather the elements of third party candidates to defeat Discord! I will not let Discord bring this country into chaos, and I know neither will you." Gary then said without a second thought "ALRIGHT! but, what are the "Element of Third Party Candidates"?" "We simply need to get Jill Stien of the green Party, Rocky Anderson of the Justice Party, Virgil Goode of the Constitution Party, Adolf Peacler of the Nazi party, and you with them, and the sixth element, America, will appear. "So let's go find those Republicrats and fight them!" Said Rainbow, obviously she thought they were alien lifeforms with lazer cannons. Then Everyone hopped on the Campaign bus, which was overfilled, and went to gather the other third Party Candidates and challenge Discord to debate by sundown. Oh god this is Horrible, why am I persisting to write this???
The Green Party.I feel so horrible for making you all read this... Well you should! Shut up. I am you, so I am not going anywhere. Why don't we start the story again? You just said you feel so horrible for making them read this, so why not just, not write it? Because, well, shut up... The bus was starting to smell of multiple fragrances, both horrible, and some eloquent. Rarity was very displeased with this, and trying to hide from the smelly humans behind her Friends. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was activly watching the News on the small tv in the Bus's main area. "Your world is so violent... I wish I was there!" "You are here." Gary Reminded her, "and those are just political commercials..." Pinkie Pie then jumped into the conversation "Do you guys have candy here??? What do you do for fun??? What is a Nazi???" Gary simply let Ron Paul fill her in, "We have tons of different candies, but avoid the yellow green spotted jelly beans. For fun, we go shooting at ani-I mean, clay Pige- I mean, er, papers..." Stuttered Ron remembering Fluttershy would die of sadness if she knew that people hunted... Fluttershy then said in a worried tone "I hope the paper doesn't feel anything, and, what is 'shooting'?" Ron Paul thought for a second, and said, "Shooting is taking multiple combustible substances such as gunpowder, loading it into a metal tube with a projectile, of which is sent flying out of the front of the tube, and flying in the direction of ones target, such as paper." Ron's detailed and fast paced explanation succeeded in confusing Fluttershy, but opened windows for Twilight to come in, "Oh, I never thought of using combustible substances in such a manne,r maybe I should tell Princess Celestia about this manner of defense." Gary then decided to say "Twilight, your world would do so much better if you did not let ours effect it." Twilight looked at him curiously, as the bus hit a big bump, and sent everyone and pony into a new position. "Were almost to Decorah Iowa!" said the Bus driver back to the many beings on the bus. Tom looked around confusingly, "Wait, how did we get to northeastern Iowa from Colorado in 15 minutes?" Dammit Tom! STOP OPENLY MENTIONING PLOT HOLES! You have one more chance before I delete you! Tom nervously went back to the story. Rainbow Dash then asked "So, what's in this Decorah? Is this were we get to fight the bad guys?" Gary Johnson replied "No, sorry to Disappoint you, but this is just were Jill Stien is having a speech today." Rarity then said "Well, I hope she has more etiquette than the rest of you, not to be rude, but, did your species invent soap?" The campaign crew then looked around awkwardly, most of them just realizing they haven't showered in a few days. One guy smelled his armpit, and quickly looked away, while Tom, stuttered, as even if he said they had soap, how would he look if he said he hasn't used it? The bus then stopped at a park were Jill was supposed to be having her motivational speech. The people and ponies walked out of the bus, and looked at the mostly barren area. at the far end of the park, a group of people in a circle was visible. "That looks like them!" Said Tom "Alright, now we need to approach her with grace." Said Ron Paul, "She will choose one of us to enter her world and get her to join us to fight Obamney." As the group approached Jill Stien's circle, it became evident that they may have been slightly high, not surprising considering the only supporters for her in Iowa were hippies. Well, with a look around, Everyone in Iowa was high. No wonder this story was written. "Hello Mrs. Stien" Said Gary Johnson. "Oh Hello Gary, here to admit Global Warming exist, and pay tribute to the tree god?" she replied "Well, not excatly" he started "a being called Discord..." Jill quickly cut him off, "No, I will not give you a twenty." Gary looked around all confused, and looked back to Tom and Ron whom just shrugged. "I don't want a twe-" He started before being cut off again. "Sorry grasshopper" started Jill, "but I will become the president because I got an interview on TV." Gary started getting Frustrated, and turned around to ask someone else to step in. To his surprise, Rarity stepped up "I've got this!" She said before trotting up to Jill. "Hello there Miss Stien, is it?" said Rarity. Jill looked up, and replied "Yes, what have you come to request of me young one?" Rarity cleared her throat, "My friends and I were sent her on a mission to stop Discord, whom I assume you have heard as merged the two main, uh, Political, Parties, I think that's how you say it." Jill simply looked at Rarity, and realized "HOLY CRAP! YOUR A TALKING PONY!!!!" Rarity replied "Oh yes, I forgot to mention, I am not from this world either." Jill stood up, and said "Well, even if your an Equine, you seam to have a Generous aura." Rarity looked back to Jill after taking the necklace of a passed out hippie-farmer hybrid. "Oh yes, that is my Element of Harmony." Jill looked at the other in the group, and said, "Well, I guess I will come with you, I also have something for you." Jill then handed a bong to Rarity, whom observed the glorious coloration of the glass. Jill then Whispered to Rarity how to use it, and approached Gary and the others. "I bring Deodorant, now let's get going!" Said Jill as she gave deodorant to everyone on the campaign team. Applejack then turned to Rarity and asked "thats a neat contraption, what does it do?" Rarity replied, "She said I just breath in here, and that makes it easier for ones mind to be creative. Oh this will be very helpful for my dress work!" "Alrighty then, can I have a sniff?" asked Applejack. "I don't see Why not, I want to see how this works anyway." said Rarity, as she took a deep breath of the smoke, and handed it to Applejack. "I don't get it" said Applejack a they trotted back to the bus, "I don't feel anything." "Maybe it takes some time," said Rarity, "I do feel a bit, light headed." Tom then shouted to them "Come on, we have to get going!" He then turned to Gary, "Did, did Jill give them Marijuana?" Gary looked at them as they boarded, and replied, "Looks like it, I think ti doesn't work on Equines, so I think it won't matter." oh how he was wrong...
Distric of Columbia shenanigansWell here we are again... It's always such a pleasure... Remember when you went, Crazy? Oh how I laughed and laughed... Except you are me. Why am I so-oh crazy? I live in I-O-wa-a! Pretty messed up, pretty messed up. HOLY CRAP! uhhh, Hi! I did not see you there! I did. WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME!? I thought since I am you, we would have stopped singing on our own. I am so confused... You should be.... Shut up, bye the way, what is next? Discord in D.C. :3 Ahh yes! *Cough Cough* Once Upon a Time... Washington D.C. was having a totally normal day, with normal politicians doing normal things that politicians do. This is boring... Your boring. Just write a better story! Fine... Discord sat in the oval office, with Barrack Obama serving him chocolate milk, and Michelle waving a fan over him. "Want anything else your highness?" said Obama in a Zombie-like tone. "You know what, being as most other antagonists would just love this and leave things this way, I think i will take a stroll outside." Mitt Romney walked in, and said in a pretty Zombie-like tone "Why don't you start 'customizing' the country now?" Discord looked to him, and replied "What a SPLENDID idea! Michelle! Get me a map of this District of Columbia, I think it is time to make it the District of Discordia!" ------------------Meanwhile in the house of Representatives-------------------------- Everyone was asleep when Discord arrived, and The roof had a small leak in it. "Oh dear, looks like you all need to experience some fun!" He said, as he snapped his fingers. He quickly turned the speaker of the House, into a Speaking mouse. He then changed the rooms design to random colors that resembled the design of Bubsy 3D. He then called in a one man band, and had him play loud enough to wake every one of the politicians up, whom found they could not stop dancing to the annoying tune. "Have fun, oh, I called Fox news, they will be here any minute to report this, uh, progress." said Discord as he gave a evil grin, and flashed away. One of the representative turned to another while dancing and said, "Well, this is, this is a BIG IMPROVEMENT!" "YEAH! I love this job now!" replied the other as they high fived and danced like their lives depended on it. Next target, was the Smithsonian Museum's Natural History area. Wait, you got this idea from someone who commented on this story. So? Does that mean, this story is, slightly, popular? e_0... oh dear. You don;t even know what the museum looks like, or even has, do you? Hey! this story is stupid as heck already, and me wasting time to talk to you is worse, so let's continue... Discord appeared in the large room with a flash infront of everyone in the room. He gave a maniacal laugh, and said "I think it's time to, wait, why are you all ignoring me?" Discord looked around, everyone, except and old man whom was sleeping on the ground, was on a cell phone listening to music or texting. "HEY! I am trying to put on a show here!" he shouted, and even so he was ignored. Discord then grunted, and thought of an idea, "I will be right back!" With a flash, he disappeared, and then reappeared with Luna. "So, I need to use my ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE?" she asked. "Yes, now have a go at it." replied Discord. Luna breathed in heavily, and then shouted, "ALL YOU HUMANS! PAY ATTENTION THIS WAY! DISCORD IS TRYING TO GET THINE ATTENTION!" After about 3 minutes Discord grabbed her, and teleported her back, and reappeared in the museum. To his Dismay, that did nothing. "These, humans, are, NO don;t give up yet Discord, maybe they are weak to something in their world!" Discord left for about 5 minutes, and reappeared with Justin Beiber. "Sing I say!" Shouted Discord as he made puffy earmuffs appear and put them on. Justing Beiber breathed in heavily, "BABY BABY BABY OOOOHH" Suddenly, the entire crowd of people jumped, covered their ears, started screaming and panicking, and looked at justin and Discord. With a flash, Discord made justin Beiber vanish. "Now that I finally have your attention, Watch as your new king redesigns around here!" With a big flash, everything started coming alive like it was another Night of the Museum. People screamed and ran from multiple Saber toothed tigers, bears, and Dinosaurs that came from the prehistoric era section. Discord laughed, and looked at a watch he just had appear out of nowhere "MY WORD! It is time for the Rumble! I suppose I ought to crash that party, ONWARD!" With that, Discord jumped onto a T-Rex, and had it charge out into D.C., leading the charge of Rampent Dinosaurs Crushing newspaper stand, and causing traffic jams. -------------Meanwhile in the hall were Bill O'Rielly and John Stewart were beginning the Rumble.---------------------- The ground started to shack every 3 seconds, louder, and more shaky each time, just like in Jurassic park. The crowd started hopping out of their seats, and Bill looked at John, "Are you doing something." John looked back and replied "Do I look that fat to you?" Suddenly, the Wall to were the main entrance was exploded, and a T-Rex walked through toward bill O'Rielly and John Stewart. The crowd panicked and steamed, while the camera guys stayed calm and just recorded it for the live feed. Bill looked up to the T-Rex as it stood right infront of them, and shouted "Hey! Your interrupting our Debate!" Discord jumped off the T-rexs head, and landed between John and Bill. He looked at them, looked at the destruction, and noticed that the camera's were still rolling on them. "Now kiss!" He said as he shoved their faces into each other as if they were Dolls, and then rolled over laughing. Bill and john pulled away from each other right away, and John said "well, that was rude." and Bill yelled at Discord "What the hell! The leader of our nation should not be messing around, and should be balancing the budget..." Discord cut him of from his rant "hey, is it time for, Dressup?" and he then made two dresses Appear, about the size of Bill and John. Bill just groaned and said "Great, now I am being made a doll..." Wait, what did i just write!? You wrote, what seams to be political shipping... This is all your fault. How? you persuaded me to write this. no I didn't, I am just your Subconscious... Your the worst Subconscious someone could have. That is pretty mean. Wait, I am writing this out. Yea, your crazy. shut up. "ROOOAAAARRR" What was that? A Dinosaur rampaging down D.C.'s streets. Oh great...
The Justice Party, and battle against Navy Pier.Wait, I don;t know anything about the Justice Party Then don;t write this chapter. But that will leave a big plot hole, AND I HATE PLOT HOLES! Alrighty then, just, wing it I guess. Good idea! The Campaign bus drove on the highway for about an hour, and they were just entering Chicago. The Mane six ponies looked out in awe, as they had no idea what the world they were abruptly sent to looked like. As they looked out the windows, Jill Stien realised something, "Oh, no." Gary turned to her, and asked "what" Jill just stared blankely and said "Oh No!" Then Gary, Tom, and Twilight asked, "What!?" "OOOOOOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Jill. "WHAT!?" asked everyone on the bus. Jill turned to them, and replied, "It is our arch nemesis, ROAD CONSTRUCTION!" Everyone then looked forward, and saw the absolute horror, of tons of cars, stuck in gridlock, and orange signs revealing construction, IN THE MIDDLE OF CHICAGO! Everyone then screamed, "AAAAAHHHHHHH! and Tom's head exploded. Gary Woke up suddenly from the horrible nightmare, and looked out the window, to see the construction was only a nightmare. That was scary. *Sob*, why would you write that? I have experienced such horrors. Well, screw you! With a look around the bus, everything seamed normal, well, as normal as a punch of cartoon ponies, two presidential candidates, and some campaign advisers riding around the nation to defeat an omni-potent being controlling the Nation could be. The bus driver then called back, "We are almost to Navy pier!" Tom then said, "Wait, so Rocky Anderson is at Navy pier? why?" Because I Effin said so! "Oh, alright then." replied tom, once again breaking the fourth wall, and making me loose my patience. "Oops" he said, looking around nervously. Suddenly, Pinkie said, "Look at all the food!" as she looked at Navy pier, "Is that a ferris wheel! I love Ferris Wheels." Jill Stien quickly replied to her, "Yes, this place has allot of cool stuff, but it is dangerous. One could enter with 10,000$ dollars, and be trapped until the were completely broke, and had many bags of useless nick-nackes." Twilight was writing all of this down, and said "So we have to navigate through this place, and avoid getting sucked into the tourist traps." "Exactly!" replied Jill Stien. They all heard a noise, and with investigation outside, Rarity was climbing on a giant macaroni. Gary ran up, and grabbed her off, and waved to the various confused people standing nearby. He then said to the rest "Maybe Rarity should stay here, SOMEONE, seams to have got her too high!" Rarity replied "No no, I am fine, I just need... some......" And with that, she passed out. Fluttershy slightly freaked out and said "Oh! Is she going to be alright!" Jill replied "Naw, it's fine, must be her first time trying out..." Tom cut her off, and said "We should probably have some stay and watch her," he then loked to Applejack, whom was also looking pretty trippy, "And Applejack, in the bus." The group looked around to a crowd of people staring at them in confusion. Tom agreed to stay and watch the two high ponies at the bus, while Gary, Jill, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy got ready to storm the dangers of the large tourist trap. Twilight then said "Okay, everyone get your head in the game, we have to get in, get Mr. Rocky Anderson, and get out! But we have to be really careful..." Rainbow Dash got bored, and shouted "CHARGE!!!!" With that, the group charged into the Navy Pier. They started running past all sorts of gift shops, restaurants, and churros. Pinkie looked around as they ran, and ran up to a place that had MLP stuff. Gary Johnson quickly turned back and grabbed her, "ignore that! Don't get sucked into this place!" She then replied, "but why does that look like Fluttershy, and Ditzy..." Gary cut her off "Magic! Now come on!" Pinkie shrugged it off, and ran up to the rest of the group. after five minutes, they reached the amusment park part of the tourist trap. Rainbow dash stopped, and looked in amazement, "I, must, RIDE THAT AWESOME SPINNING THING!" Twilight looked back, and shouted, "Rainbow! Don't!!!" Jill then jumped up, grabbed Rainbow and continued onward. Rainbow shouted, "But i have to ride that! Let me go!" Twilight replied "This place is getting to you! This for your own good." Suddenly, the group hit the end of the pier, and flew off into the water, as they were not looking were they were going. Pinkie laughed crazily, and Fluttershy temporarily forgot how to swim. Twilight quickly popped her head out of the water, "Oops, I guess we got caught up in the excitement." Rainbow dash replied "Ugg, now i'm all wet..." Suddenly, a big yacht came bye the politicians and ponies swimming in the water, and Rocky Anderson shouted from it "hey! Do you all need some help?" Jill replied "No! Were just swimming around in this, very, polluted water... yes, please, get me out of here." Rocky threw out a few ropes, and pulled everyone onto the yacht. "So, what were you all up to? and, wait, why are four of you dressed as ponies?" asked Rocky Anderson. Gary replied "Oh, i'm the Libertarian Party's nominee for president Gary Johnson, this is Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. And that over there is Jill Stien, the Green Party's nominee for president." Rocky Anderson raised and eyebrow at the odd grouping, "So you four are real talking ponies?" "Umm, yes, sort of." replied Fluttershy, "Thanks for letting us on your boat." "Hahaha!" laughed Rocky, "Well, this is not my boat, I'm renting it. Are you all here because of Discord and His Republicrat Party?" Gary replied "Yes, you know about him already?" Rocky quickly replied "Yes, been watching the news, and I am against Discord because I am for Justice!" Pinkie hopped next to him "So do you wanna come with us and stop him? We have been having so much fun already!" "Yea, sure, why not. I assume you have a mode of transportation?" said Rocky. Gary Replied, "Yes, my campaign bus is at the parking lot..." "Alright!" said Rocky, as he ran up the the controls of the big yacht, and sent it full speed past the Navy Pier, and into the shore. The whole boat hit the shore in a crash. and flipped upside down onto some cars, which flung Gary, jill, Rocky, and the ponies next to the bus. Tom walked out of the bus, and asked "What the heck happened?" Rocky replied "I agreed to help you stop Discord, now let's hurry before the po po's get us!" Pinkie laughed and said "Let's do it again!" Rarity stumbled out of the bus, and looked at the fiery wreckage, "Girl! Why you so cray cray!?" Twilight turned to Rarity, and asked "Are you alright Rarity." "I'm all good, I am in touch with nature finally, I think I will learn a spell to turn myself into a tree." replied Rarity. Twilight took a step back in confusion, and Fluttershy asked "Oh can you use it on me too!" Rocky then pushed them onto the bus, "Come on, let's go! I don't want to loose my judge license!" The Bus then quickly fled Chicago, and Navy pier burned to the ground. Because of this horrible event, many tourist showed up to give their respect to the poor churros that were burned in the catastrophe. Although, there were no REAL casualties. Next time! something happens! I have no clue what, but something is sure to happen! Your a horrible person for making people read this. It's all in a day's work my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy...
The Nazi Party, and a slim problemThe Campaign bus continued down the road to Pennsylvania, were they were going to get the Nazi Party's candidate. Suddenly, Ron Paul woke up, and the writer realised he forgot to include him in the last chapter. You moron, you can't just go forgetting about characters! I'm sorry, but let's just go with he was napping on the chair or something. That's a stupid attempt to fix a plot hole. shut up. Ron Paul observed the two candidates they had retrieved so far, "We need to get The Nazi Party's guy next, right?" Gary Replied, "Yea, that is were we are heading, but, do we seriously need a Nazi?" Ron Paul retorted "The Elements of third party candidate's only work when they are all together! Just like all those clitche'd programs." Rocky Anderson than said, "Oh yes, that is why you need me. Anyway, what does the sixth one look like?" Ron Paul looked around, and replied "I dunno." Suddenly, then buses tire completely exploded, and sent the bus off the road, and flying into the middle of a forest. Twilight quickly stood back up, and said "What happened?!" The bus Driver replied "I knew I should not have got the tire that said 'filled with explosive gas' on them. Rarity and Applejack both just kind sat upside down, and mumbled various incantations as everyone else stood up. Jill Stien then asked "So, it is getting dark, when is the debate?" Gary Replied, "10:00, so we need to find another mode of transportation, and fast!" Tom then suggested "Perhaps the owners of the land were are on will let us use a bus or something." Ron paul then said "Alrighty then! Who wants to go out into the creepy forest first?" Pinkie Pie hopped over to him, "I've got this, just got to giggle at the ghosties!" Rocky Anderson quickly butted in, "Please don't start singing." Pinkie Pie shrugged, then hopped out the door, followed by everyone on the bus, except the Driver and the two trippy ponies. With a look around, the forest looked creepy, and the tree infront of them had a piece of paper taped to it or something. Tom walked up to the paper and read it, then realised "Holy crap, WE NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE IT GET's US!" Suddenly, he noticed everyone was just staring behind him. "oh no..." Said Tom, before Slenderman grabbed him with tentacles and teleported away. Fluttershy screamed, and hid behind Twilight, while Pinkie gasped, and Twilight tried to figure out what just happened. Rainbow Dash flew straight into the air, and said "I think we should go, at least that thing can't get me up here." Gary Johnson then said, "Maybe you all should get back in the bus, I will go find help." Ron Paul replied, "uh, Gary." Gary looked at Ron, "What?" Ron paul simply pointed to the bus, of which Slenderman was standing in, while holding a oblivious Rarity and a passed out Applejack in it's tentacles. With that, everyone and pony screamed and ran in a different direction, leaveing Fluttershy alone, whom clambered in her steps and ran after them. Jill Stien ran off for awhile, until comming up to a big tree, she then rested on it. Suddenly, she looked up, and Slenderman was there. "No! Leave me alone! I'm with the green party, we love trees! No! NO! AAAAHHHH!" Ron Paul, Gary Johnson, Twilight, and Pinkie all regrouped in a small clearing. Breathing heavily, Pinkie asked, "That is worse than a ghostie." Twilight looked up from panting, and asked "What do we do now?" Gary looked around, "We find that thing, kick it's but, and get back toward Washington D.C.!" Rainbow Dash flew over them, and said "Heck yeah! That thing could never catch up on me!" Suddenly, a rock hit Rainbow Dash in the head, knocking her down. The group looked at her, and standing behind her was Slenderman holding a bunch of rocks. Pinkie then said, "I figured with that suit he would be a more pleasant person." Suddenly, as Slenderman tried to grab Rainbow, He got shot in the back. Rocky Anderson then came closer shooting him repeatedly with a shotgun. "You stupid! Faceless! Moron! One like you does not deserve to wear a suit like that!" Shouted Rocky. With that, Slenderman Looked as peeved as a faceless person could get, and flung Rainbow Dash into Rocky Anderson. Slenderman then picked up Rocky's gun, and broke it in half, while picking up Rocky with one of his tentacles. Suddenly, a party cannon blast hit Slenderman, flinging him away, while suiting him up in party gear. Pinkie then shouted, "This! IS! SPAAAARTAAA!!!!" before charging at Slenderman while throwing many cupcakes at him. Slenderman took many sugary bullets to the face, and wiped them off. Pinkie then geared up to pounce on him, and shouted "You Don't Belong in this world! DIE!" Then, Pinkie Jumped into Slenderman, causing them both to disappear. Gary, Ron, Twilight, and a nearly suffocated Rocky Stared in disbelief at what just happened. Rianbow Dash got knocked out by a ROCK!? Suddenly, Slenderman Reappeared, looking VERY peeved, as his tentacles were coming out all threatening like, and everything started getting fuzzy. Right the Fluttershy jumped infront of Slenderman, "You, big, MEANY!" Slenderman back up a bit, and then started trying to look threatening while making everything go all static like. Fluttershy then Started down Slenderman, and said, "You will bring back my friends, and anyone else you have taken from hear!!!" Slenderman tried to Beat her in the stare, but the poor thing was defenceless against the horrifying stare. He then started sweating and backing up. Fluttershy then shouted, "Do I Make Myself Clear?!" Slenderman nodded, and teleported away. Fluttershy then stood up, and turned to her friends. "Oh, I'm sorry if I got a little loud." Everyone then hugged Fluttershy, how adorable. Suddenly, Jill, Rarity, Applejack, Tom, and a bunch of random hobos appeared around them. Multiple hobos ran away screaming, while one turned out to be the Nazi Parties candidate. the Nazi walked up to Gary, "I am Adolf Hitle-I mean, Fred Jenkins!" he then looked back and fourth suspiciously. Gary then turned to Ron Paul, "Do we have to ally with this guy? Ron Paul shrugged, and the Narrator said... Yes, just Gooooo! Gary Then Shrugged, "Well, come along, we need to get one more guy before going to D.C." Fred Jenkins then rubbed his hands together menacingly, and said "Hehehe, that sounds like a good plan..." Twilight then asked, "Your going to throw him in jail after this, right?" Gary replied, "Of course." Hmm, eventful chapter I guess... This story is a piece of crap. Your a piece of crap. You just called yourself a piece of crap you happy bundle of sticks. screw off Donkey hole...
The Constitution Party and the District of Discordia.Discord was Riding a Tyranasuarus rampagin through the street's of D.C. While riding by things, he zapped them and made them more "interesting". By now the Washington Monument was upside down and made of water, while the pool infront of it was made of concrete. He also made the White house float on top a cotton candy cloud, while replacing the secret service with Minecraft style creepers. Not to mention after watching Gravity Falls he made 4 of the Justices of the Court into baby's, while the others were acting like cats. He finished his days worked, and Jumped to the white house. "What a lovely day i have created." said Discord, when he listened to the people screaming, running in circles, acting like zombies, and all sorts of weird stuff. Suddenly, a groan was heard, and Discord said "Alright Alright, what do you want?" Right then, the windows of the white house started to shake, and talking was heard... "D..I..S..C..O..R..D... Gary Johnson, Ponies, Libertarian, Green, Justice, Nazi.... C..O..N..S..T..I..T..U..T..I..O..N.." Discord replied "Wait, he is gathering the other third Party candidates? why?" "E..L..E...M..E..N..T..S.." Replied the voice. Discord looked around, and replied "They think they are going to blast me? well I guess they have not met you my little abomination." The White house started to shake, and Discord Replied "Okay, okay, if it will make you feel better, I will Do something about it. I hear Virgil Goode is here in D.C., So I will make it really hard to get to him through random obstacles! Just remember you are safe in the Media Machine!" The campaign bus was being airlifted by a helicopter that Pinkie got out fo nowhere, while everyone inside was waiting, again. Ron Paul's phone rang, and he picked it up and said "uhu, yep, alright." and he hung up. "What was that?" asked Gary. "Judge Jim Gray, he said Virgil is now in D.C." replied Ron. Pinkie butted in "D.C.!? I always wanted to go to D.C.!!!" Twilight replied to Pinkie "Do you even know what D.C. means?" Pinkie quickly responded " DOUGHNUT COOKIES! DUH!!!" Gary Johnson replied "I am sorry to say, but that is not it, and we need to focus here, i bet Discord will pull some nasty tricks to stop us." Rainbow Dash said, "What can he do?" Gary Replied "Not let us in the debate, sue us, make us eat soap..." Ron paul then said, "Well, Jim also said that D.C. is in total Chaos, and road traffic is on fire, or in bananas, one or the other." Suddenly, the bus shook, and the helicopter lowered it towards D.C. Twilight then asked "Is this safe?" Rocky Anderson Replied "Safety is non of our concern right now! We must complete our mission or die trying!" He said while picking up a heavy style mini-gun. Jill then replied "I will be the Demo!" Tom jumped in "I got Soldior!" Ron Paul then said, "I will be the Engy!" Adolf Hitler, I mean Fred Jenkins replied "I has got's the Medic my friends!" while holding up a really big knife. Rainbow Dash replied to everyone "huh?" Twilight then handed Rainbow a scatter gun and said "You should be the Scout, I have got the Spy!" while twirling a gun in her hooves laughing and snorting. Pinkie Jumped in "I will be the Pyro!" as she pulled out a flamethrower, and tossed it away and grabbed a mobile Party canon. Rarity, whom was not as high, said "I think I shall be the sniper." Gary looked around, shrugged, and said "Well, Let's go!". Rocky Anderson Quickly bashed the door off of the flying bus, causing it to shake around violently, and send the copter and bus falling. Applejack Yelled "YEEE HAH!" As she and everyone/pony else jumped out of the bus ready to rumble Fluttershy then said "Um, eek! Okay!" before falling out face first. Then, everyone landed all awesome like, and the helicopter crashed and exploded behind them, it, was, AWESOME. Fluttershy shrieked, and hid behind Jill Stien, whom reassured her "It's alright, that was not ours anyway." Rocky anderson then yelled, and charged into D.C., along with Everyone/pony else. With entrance into the city, everyone ran forward yelling, and then somehow ended upside down on a loopdy loop in the road, causing them to scream and fall onto the ground. With hast, everyone jumped back up, and charged again, only to end up in a hair solon. "Ooh! Can we stay here?" asked Rarity. "No, we have a mission!" replied Ron Paul. Gary then asked the solon owner direction's to Virgil Goode, and the Solon owner replied "He is at the new Chimera Zoo, it is floating up by the former Libertarian Party National HQ. You just need to go past the Dinosaurs, twirling soap road, and the burning ice floral store and bam, you should be there." Gary replied "thank you my lad!" and everyone ran full speed along with the directions, only to slip on a bunch of chocolate banana peels. "Perhaps we should charge a bit mor cautiously..." said Tom. "Yea, let's do that." Replied Gary. After a hour of chaos, slipping on Banana peels, running from creepers, and trolling haters, The group finally reached the New Chimera Zoo. "Alright!" said Ron Paul, "He should be here!" Twilight looked around, and asked "Is that him?" Everyone/pony looked were she was pointing, and saw a mentally screwed up Virgil Goode Rocking in the corner. Applejack walked up to him, and said "Yah need some help here? what happened?" Virgil looked up, and pointed to the gate on the other side of the walkway, "Hudhd;owbx" Suddenly, a load roar was heard, and the Ultimate Chimera walked through the gate. Everyone/pony backed away cautiously, and the beast roared again. "Oh crap!" Said Tom, as the Ultimate Chimera Jumped at them, and everyone jumped out of the way. It Roared again, but this time Applejack swung a rope around it's large mouth. "I swear! your bark it worse than your bite!" Said Applejack as she tied up the Chimera, and left a bow on top. Virgil Goode then stood up, and said "OKAY! I am coming with you because I do not feel safe anywhere else right now!" "Alright!" said Ron Paul, "TOO THE DEBATE!" NEXT TIME! THE DEBATE STARTS! Your not gonna want to miss it! I will. I will make you read it. Rude... yup.
THE DEBATE FOR OF GOOD VS EVIL AND STUFF!!!A bunch of various people discord found on the street were forced to sit at the theatre were the debate between Republicrat candidate Mitt Romney and Demopublican candidate Barrack Obama. The idea here was whom ever won, would get to say what the name of the party's would be, and discord would rule over everything. Discord sat in the moderator's seat, while the zombies were at the podiums on the stage, and everyone in the crowd was tied down. Discord looked at his watch, and said "Oh, looks like they aren't going to show, let's begin!" Suddenly, the roof exploded. Discord stared at the roof hole, wondering what just happened, and remember he threw a bomb into the air a couple hours ago. Suddenly, A sheep walked in, and sat in a front row seat. "Alright, the first question is, what should the name of the new Republican and Democrat party together be?" said Discord, as he got some popcorn. With that, Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama did this... Youtube Video Discord stared at Ron Paul, whom had burst in shooting. "What do you want? your not a candidate anymore." said Discord. Ron Paul replied "I would just like to say, I AM ENDORSING GARY JOHNSON!" Suddenly, Gary Johnson Burst into the front door like a bada$$. Behind him, the Mane six had their game faces on, and further back, Virgil Goode, Rocky Anderson, Adolf Hitler I mean Fred Jenkins, Tom, and Jill Stien walked in. Fluttershy then jumped onto the stage, "Were taking over this debate! I mean, if that is okay." Discord stared at the group, then laughed maniacally. "Do you really think you will survive in here? YOU DON'T seam to know which creak your in!" Pinkie Pie replied "Yes I really think we'll survive in here, we very well know which creak were in!" Discord rebutted "Wel well well, Welcome to MY LAIR! Gary Johnson and a bunch of Potatoes huh? Ooh I'm really scared! So your the ones who wanna take me out? Ahaha! good luck." Pinkie Pie retorted with "Relieve yourself or you must face the dire consequences! my subjects are expecting me so please come to your senses!" With that, Discord huffed, and replied "Your joking! You are joking? I can't believe my ears! Would somebody shut this potato up? I am drowning in my tears! It's funny, I am laughing, you really are too much. And now, without your Permission, I'm gonna do my stuff!" "What are you going to do?" asked Pinkie Pie. "Ahh, i will do the best I can!" Replied Discord. Suddenly, the theatre flashed on top of the washington monument. The walls vanished, so only the floor, stage, and crowd forced to watch were still there. around them they could see utter chaos around them, it was now looking even worse than a level from Bubsy 3d! Discord then teleported everyone on stage with their own podiums to debate Mitt and Barrack. Gary Johnson then said, "Don't you think you can best us now! Even if we are just third parties, we offer better candidates than either the Republican Party or Democrat Party ever could." Discord laughed, and said "Well then, let's see about that, LET THE DEBATE BEGIN!" Obama started off right away with a very strategic frase saying "Johnson! Johnson Jonson Jonson! Stien Stien! Johnson! Ponies stewpid! Ron paul, Ron Paul, Paul, PAUL! Johnson." Mitt backed Obama up with "Anderson! Anderson anderson! Goode, Hitler, Goode! ponies, BLEH! Johnson!" Gary and twilight looked Dumbfounded, While Pinkie burst in with "OBAMA! ROMNEY! Obama Obama Romney Romney obama Romney Romney Romney Obama Obama Osama Obama Romney!" Pinkie then fell backwards, "This, *huff*, is, *huff*, hard! *huff*." Gary johnson then said "Stand back, I have got this." Obama and Romney look at Johnson, and laughed, before Gary said "Why don't we get out of Afganistan! End the drug war now! End the corporate and income tax and replace it with the fair tax! cut Spending by 50% or more! Balance the Budget now! Allow gay marriage! Repeal the Patriot act! All of that good stuff that we should run on!" Vegeta! What does the scouter say about Gary Johnson's Political power level? IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!!!!! What?! Over Nine Thousand?! SMAAAAAAAAAAASH! Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney both passed out on the ground. Discord stood there in awe, "Well, you just, won, the debate. But wait! the election is not over yet! and I have a secret weapon to my disposal!" Next time. Awe screw you! What? I made one Dragon Ball reference, might as well make another. >:(
The Republicrat Party Evolves! Hey! no! Get away from my keyboard!Discord laughed maniacally, as Ron Paul glared at him. Suddenly Adolf, I mean Fred Jenkins said "When will you all start hailing me?" and he pulled out a banana pointing it like a gun. Rainbow Dash groaned, and asked "Alright Discord, i think we have had enough!" and she charged at Discord, only for him to flash out of the way, and have her crash into some really fat guy's stomach. Applejack quickly pulled out her rope, and threw it at Discord, and he just turned it into a bunch of red tape. Rarity picked up her podium with magic, and flung it at Discord, and he turned it into a large chocolate bar, and ate it. Twilight then said "Discord, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way!", before she charged up the spell she used on the numerous Pinkie's. Discord stared at Twilight, and replied "Let's do it my way." With that, he someone a mirrior infront of himself as Twilight fired, and it reflected the blast into Hostess's headquarters, and blew up a Twinkie. Jill Stien got really angry, and yelled "HOW COULD YOU! TWINKIE'S ARE A GOOD PLACE FOR MY POT!", and with the, she pulled out a Bong bomb, and threw it. Discord kicked the Bong Bomb into congress, and it blasted marijuana smoke through the whole place. "Keep trying, even if you do get me, you won't win!" said Discord. "What do you mean!?" asked Gary Johnson. Suddenly, the White house flew into the spot behind the stage. There, the front of the white house reformed into something that looked allot like this... Suddenly, a face appeared on the center spot, and it looked like Obama and Romney's face mixed together... The Third Party Candidates, mane six, Ron paul and Tom watched in horror, and Discord appeared next to the crazy being. "Gary! Are you surprised? it's me! Discord!" said Discord. Twilight rolled her eyes and said "Yea, we came here to stop YOU." Discord ignored her and said "I assist only the strong and able! that's Discord!" Pinkie jumped up and said "Am i strong an able???" Discord laughed, "You guys look pathetic! The internet sensation Ron paul has already made a prediction..." Ron Paul replied, "Yes I did..." Discord smiled devilishly, "But I won't let that prediction take place!" Rocky Anderson Picked up another gun, "Then, we will make you!" Discord ignored Rocky, and said "You guys will be beaten by the Republicrat Party! The Republicrat Party will be stronger, a more powerful Party than any other!" Gary Johnson replied, "We will see if the American people agree..." Discord continued "Master Republicrat Party, no, Republicrat party, is no longer the wielder of evil. It has become the embodiment of Evil itself... which it cannot control on it's own. It IS the evil power!" Suddenly, some guy in a tin foil hat jumped up and said, "YES! I was right! This conspiracy theorist was right! WOOHOOO! TAKE THAT MOM!" Everyone stared at the guy blankly, and he then said, "Oh, sorry, carry on." Suddenly, the Republicrat party fired a lightning blot at the sheep in the front of the crowd, turning it to a crisp. Pinkie pulled out her Party cannon, and yelled, "TONDA GOSSA BASTARD!" and fired at the Republicrat party, only to have it bounce back off of the "media shield". Ron Paul helped Pinkie back up, and said, "The Republicrat party is too protected by the Media shield to attack is physically! Now is the time to use the elements of third partys candidates!" Gary Johnson looked around, "How?" "Just go on a rant about why each of you are superior candidates!" replied Ron. The Republicrat Party Fired a fireball at them, and said "Hahahaha! Sssslaves! hahahahah, crystals, hahahaha, stairs!" Applejack turned her head, "What is that thing saying?" Discord replied "I don't really know, I would have to turn off the Media Machine to know for sure..." Discord then pulled the turn off Switch, and everyone was doomed. Hey, NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Not what is supposed to happen. Secret..... *sigh*, what? H...E...L...L...O... That, and the reason you are overpowered, is the reason I did not want you out of the Media's Machine, now get back in! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! N...E...V...E...R... Fine, then I will rewrite you out of the story! Suddenly Washington D.C. was back to Normal, but ALLOT better, and Discord was beaten, and Gary Johnson was President. Suddenly, everything flashed back to the way before, and the Republicrat Party showed itself to look kind of Like Giygas, except with a Donkey head on one end, and a Elephant head on the other. NO! The Libertarian Party was the number one Party, and everything was fixed. Suddenly, everything was even worse than it was with Discord in charge, and the Republicrat party was the number one Party While the Libertarians were almost defeated. STOP REWRITING MY STORY YOU BASTARD! You cannot Grasp the true form of Republicrat party attack!!! crap Crap Crap Crap CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAP!!!! The Narrator of the story was frozen in stone, and now the Republicrat Party was in charge. N...E...X...T... T..I..M..E... I E..A..T.. Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson Gary Johnson GARY JOHNSON...
I WONDER WHAT'S FOR DINNER, DINNER, DINANANA... THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS OUT OF PORK CHOPSDiscord looked at the Republicrat Party, then said "Well, are you scared? I am scared too! So I am going to watch from above!" And with that, he vanished. Gary... Gary Johnson looked to Ron Paul, "Um, I did not expect this too happen." Ron Paul replied "I thought it would look more like a duck head." I.. F..E..E..L... R..I..C..H... Twilight backed up, "Uh, what do we do?!?!" Rainbow Dash looked at the Republicrat party, "Heh, i doubt it is THAT tough, just watch!" Dash flew up to the Republicrat Party, and the stuck her tongue in it's face. So, it properly responed by flashing the thoughts of a thousand years of never ending torture in Hell and being eaten my Satan into her mind. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Yelled Rainbow Dash right before she passed out. Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary... G..O.. T..O.. C..H..I..N..A... Rocky anderson had enough, and picked up his mini-gun and said "TONDA GOSSA! EAT COMBUSTABLE LEMON IN BULLET FORM!" Rocky fired many rounds into the Republicrat Party, though it only responded with shaking and groans. R..o..c..k..y... eat pie! Suddenly, Rocky anderson turned into a Pie. Applejack turned to Ron Paul, "Ron, get my rope." Ron quickly tossed Applejack a rope, and he promptly pulled out a samurai sword from his shirt somehow. C..o..m..e... a..t... m..e... b..r..o...! Applejack tossed her rope around the demonic mass, and Ron Paul Ran up all Samurai Jack style and cut it in half. Then, the Mass reformed together, and blasted Ron Paul to the moon. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Twilight, as she repeatedly fired explosive spells at the Republicrat Party. In return, the Republicrat Party Blasted her back, turning her into an Orange. "You Monster!" shouted Jill Stien, as she threw a very explosiv bong at the Republicrat Party. In return, the Republicrat party blasted her with tons of LSD, causing her to pass out. "Stop the Violence!" Yelled Virgil Goode as he Threw one of his socks at the Republicrat Part. S..t..a..r..t... m..o..r..e... w..a..r..s... said the Republicrat party as it Turned a random turtle into a tank, and dropped it on top Virgil Goode. Pinkie Pie jumped infront of the demonic mass known as the Republicrat Party, and fired the party cannon at it. N..O.. M..O..R..E... Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun... replied the Republicrat party, as it formed a tornado, of which sucked congressmen out of Congress, and fired them into Pinkie's mouth, nearly killing her with stupidity. Adolf Hitler ran towards the Republicrat Party, and started yelling like he thought he would turn into a Super Sayan or some dumb stuff. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAH AAAAAAAHHHH!" In Response to the annoying yelling, the Republicrat Party fired a rubber band, killing Adolf on impact. Rarity had enough, and Fired a powerfull spell at the Republicrat Party, turning it into a pretty doll. "What? It had horrendous hair." she said. Suddenly, the Doll exploded and the Republicrat Party reformed, then Turned Rarity into a person from Jersey. H..i..t... t..h..e... f..i..s..c..a..l... c..l..i..f..f... Fluttershy and Tom poked their heads up from behind a seat, both hugging in absolute fear. Tom then said "Gary, what do we do?" Gary looked at what the Republicrat Party did to everyone on his side, and replied "kick some flank!" Gary Johnson than ran up to the Republicrat party, and gave it a HIADUKEN, and then repeatedly hit it with a bicycle kick. N..o... M..o..r..e... F..R..E..E..D..O..M... said the Republicrat party, as it launched North Korea's out of control Satelight at Gary, knocking him back. Tom looked to Fluttershy, and said "There is nothing left to do but... OH YEAH! let's sign, maybe a random song will help!" Shigesato Itoi Flew into the Room on a jetpack and gave Tom lyrics to the eight melodies, then flew away. "Weird, but okay!" said Tom, as he started "Take a constitution..." S..t..o..p.. singing. Said the republicrat Party, as it made an ear retching sound to shut Tom up. Gary stood up, and said, "Oh, I know this!" *Cough Cough* "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly..." STOP S..i..n..g..i..n..g... Said the Republicrat Party as it fired a beam at Gary, only to be reflected by a mirror. Fluttershy then bravely stood up, and started "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people..." Morons morons morons morons morons morons......... STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! Ron Paul fell into the room from the moon, and stood up, "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom..." Enough Enough Enough Enough Enough! screeched the Republicrat Party as it threw more congressmen. Somehow, Twilight reversed the orange spell, and started singing "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom! Raise your voices..." STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! Yelled the demonic mass as it shook all of Washington D.C. With this revelation, Discord Showed back up and said, "Do something! Don't let them beat you with a song! can't you congressmen do anything!" A random congressman replied "yes, but it take three to four weeks, and requires a lot of pork to be added!" Rarity and Pinkie Pie became normal as the Republicrat Party weakened, and started singing "Take a Constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom! Raise your voices, get your tea now..." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The republicrat party made a loud screech heard across the world, and caused one guy to drop his ice cream. Jill Stien Woke up, and Rocky Anderson became Human again, and they started singing "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom. Raise your voices, get your tea now get liberty now..." GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!!! Then, everyone consecutively sang "Take a constitution, craft it perfectly, unite the people, to earn freedom. Raise your voices, get your tea now get liberty now, sing the melody of rights, oh rights, oh rights, ooooho riiiiiights!" With a loud Screech, everything started to fizzle, and suddenly, flash into a blinding light.