The Crusader Box

by CosmicAfro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2822

A crossover of Spongebob

The imagination of a child’s mind is as powerful as it is boundless. When the Cutie Mark Crusaders use Twilight’s hot air balloon box from storage, they use the one force that the librarian can’t quite grasp.

Author’s Note: If this sounds oddly familiar, then your Pinkie Senses are correct! This is inspired by the Spongebob episode “Idiot Box”.

Published 2012-10-31 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-02 15:49:59 UTC

The box

“This is Red Leader standing by, over.”

Ksssh.

“Red Leader this is Base Tower, you are clear for takeoff.”

Ksssh.

“Roger Roger.”

Ksssh.

“This is Rainbow Leader standing by, over.”

Ksssh.

“Rainbow Leader this is Base Tower, you are clear for takeoff.”

Ksssh.

“Roger Roger.”

The two planes took off into the afternoon sky, facing the clear afternoon with a ready ascension.

Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir.

“I’ll never get tired of this sky, especially today.”

Ksssh.

“Keep your focus Rainbow Leader.”

Ksssh.

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, we’ve got some unidentified blips on our radar here, would you mind checking it out? They’re on your ten o’clock.”

“This is Rainbow Leader reporting no signs of life on my ten.”

Ksssh.

“This is Red Leader, confirming.”

Ksssh.

“You mean, neither of you see them?”

“Roger.”

Ksssh.

“Roger.”

Ksssh.

“They must be jamming your vision with a magic force field. You’ll need to-”

Wooo wooo wooo wooo.

“Red Leader to Base Tower, what was that noise?”

“Base Tower to both Rainbow and Red Leader, you have a large mass of bogeys incoming on all fronts. It’s a trap!”

“We don’t see ‘em!”

Ksssh.

“Wait! I think I see them. Permission to use primary missiles?”

Ksssh.

“Permission granted.”

Fwooooooo. Booom. Hissssssss.

“Rainbow Leader to Base Tower! I have exposed the visual force field of-”

Vrooom. Whiiiiiiir...

“-of over ten thousand Changelings!”

“Sweet Celestia in a royal court! That’s a lotta changelings!”

Ksssh.

“We’ve gotta peel out! There’s too many!”

“No Red Leader, don’t do it! You’re the only ones in between them and Ponyville!”

“So do you mean?”

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, you have permission to fire the F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P. missiles.”

“ Those are experimental! Sweet- I mean, Base Tower, are you mad!?”

Ksssh.

“Base Tower to Scoo- Rainbow Leader, you have no choice!”

“All right! Readyin’ missiles!”

“Rainbow Leader to Red Leader, do not fire the missiles. I repeat, do not fire the missiles. Concentrated Harmony with the Lo and Ve compounds could cause dangerous explosions!”

“I thought you liked explosions?”

“Not when I’m in them!”

“Rainbow and Red Leader, stop your arguing and fire the missiles. Do you want to let your friends and family down? The world could be at stake!”

“Base Tower is Right, Rainbow Leader, we gotta do this. No matter what, we’re still a team.”

Silence on the air.

“You’re right. This is Rainbow Leader, readying missiles.”

Ksssh.

“This is Red Leader, readyin’ missiles.”

Ksssh.

“This is Base Tower, you may fire when ready.”

“Firin’ missiles!”

“Firing missles!”

Voom. Verrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooom. Ka-boom! Boom! Bam! Boom boom! BLAMMO! Boom boom BOOM!

“Direct hit! They’re falling like flies to a bug lantern. Yeeeee haaaaw!”

Ksssh.

“Good work Red Leader. Rainbow Leader?”

Ksssh.

“We’re as good as gold, Base Tower.”

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, you-“

Knock. Knock. Knock.

__

The three fillies popped their heads out of the large box, each with a confused face. “Uh, can we help you?”

“Well, I was going to ask if I could have my box back,” Twilight began, “but now I’m more concerned about you girls.”

“Whadd’ya mean, Twi? We were just playin’ in the hot air balloon box you don’t use. Spike said it was fine.”

“Yes I suppose it’s fine for today, but how were you making those noises? The airplanes zooming, the big booms, and the static after every transmission.” She turned her head to Sweetie Belle. “Is it your magic, Sweetie Belle?”

“No, I was in the tower the entire time. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn’t need to.”

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight peered inside. Much to the chagrin of her interest, it was completely barren except for the crusaders inside and three paper airplanes lying on the floor. “Hmm.”

“So, can we get back to our game now?”

“Sure…” she said while walking backwards into the tree house.

__

“Hear ya’ll, hear ya’ll, the Great Princess Applebloom is now in the court.”

The trumpets blared.

“Oh great and wise Princess Applebloom, what would you have us servants do?”

The Great Princess Applebloom held a hoof to her chin. “I demand one hundred thousand million apples. With Chocolate. And strawberries.”

“Of course, my princess. A wise choice, my princess.”

“We will be back soon, my princess.”

“Milady, Princess Belle and the Awesomest Princess Scootaloo are at the door. What shall I do?”

“Have them enter, if ya’ll would be so kind.”

The door creaked open.

“Hello Princesses. How do ye fare today?“

“Why Princess Applebloom, you look as ravishing as ever. Why, I do declare your gown to be most decorative.”

“Why thank you Princess Belle. Oh, Awesomest Princess Scootaloo, where is your dress for tonight’s Grand Gallopin’ Gala?”

“Eh, it’s hard to fly with Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts while in some fancy schamcy dress for the show tonight, so I decided to not come in one.”

“A princess without her royal attire? That’s simply unheard of.”

“Princess Celestia only wears golden boots and a crown, why is it so-”

“Uh, Scootaloo, Princess Celestia isn’t alive.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Erhm, uhh... I’m setting a new tradition?”

“You always were the trend starter Awesomest Princess Scootaloo.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

__

Once again, they lifted the flaps on top of the box and peered outside. “Yes, Twilight?”

“What do you mean Princess Celestia isn’t alive!? She’s up in Canterlot Castle right now!” She borderline ranted, somehow balancing herself on two legs while pointing at her highness’s location.

“Were you... spyin’ on us, Twi’?”

Immediately, she went back to four legs and flipped her hair with a grin. “Of course not, I was just reading a book by the window and I overheard you say that and-”

“I can see some fog on the glass.” Scootaloo mentioned with minor hesitance.

“Well, nevermind." She waved a hoof back and forth for a moment.

“I was actually wondering if Spike,” she lit her horn and forcefully pulled her assistant out of the tree, “could join you girls. I don’t want him inside all day.”

The girls looked at each other for a moment and then back at the puzzling unicorn. “So you want him inside of a box instead?”

“I meant, erm, alone!”

Spike, just as confused as the crusaders were, looked up at Twilight. “Uh, I guess it’s better than shelving books all day.”

“Sure yah can! Hop on in Spike! There’s plenty ah room.”

“Yeah! Imagine what we can do with a dragon!”

The librarian put her mouth close to the dragon’s ear and covered it with a hoof. “Take notes.”

“Sure, ok,” he said, taking no effort to hide her ambitions. With a big leap, he hopped on in, closing the flaps as he went.

__

Roooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

“Wizard Belle! We need the antifire shield up! We gotta save the civilians from the dragon’s fire!”

“Coming right up! Alaka Whoosh!”

Whooosh!

Fwoooosh.

“Ha ha! Your flames will never cross that field!”

“Mwa ha ha! You forgot, I also have super breath!”

“Oh no! Not super breath!” All three fillies screamed, “Ahhhhhh!”

“Wait, we can use the Elements of Harmony to stop him!”

“What!? You have the Elements!? Impossible! I stole those from Celestia years ago!”

“Yeah, but the Elements are more than objects! They’re like ultimate power or somethin’! Its magic lives inside all of us! Super Knight Crusaders! Assemble!”

Whooosh! Cling, clank! Cling!Whooom!

“Ultimate Cutie mark Crusader Dragon Slaying Robot of Ultimate Awesomeness, Yay!”

That’s not the latest model with the laser cannon, is it!?

“Eeyup!”

No matter! I’ll still defeat you fillies with one blow!

Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooar.

Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyah!

Whoom!

Viiiiir.

Bang!

Boom. Boom!

Boosh!

Ding. Smack!

Ping Pong!

“We almost got him! Keep going!”

Fwooosh! Boom.

Iiiirrrrrrrrrk. Crash!

Ting! Ting! Smack!

Whap!

Boink!
“How do you like this noogie!?”

“How do you like our rocket boots!?”

“Rocket boots? Wh-“

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!

BANG!

Crash!Rumble Rumble.

SMACK!

Tiiiiimbeeeeeer!Crackle crackle…

Thump.

You girls truly are the Elements of Harmony.

“Maybe next time you won’t attack Ponyville you silly dragon.”

No, I have learned from my ways. Thank you for showing me the errors of Disharmony. As part of my thanks, I’m giving free gems to everyone!

“YAY!”

__

“Phew!” Scootaloo cheered as she flittered out of the box, “That was a good run girls.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed as she jumped out next, “Who knew Spike would make such a great dragon!?”

“Uhh, Sweetie Belle? He is a dragon.” Applebloom rolled her eyes as she hopped out.

“I know, but he was a lot better than Scootaloo when she was the dragon.”

“What can I say, I’m a natural.” Spike rubbed a fist against his chest and then blew on it while a smug grin adorned his face.

“So, wanna come help us tomorrow? I’m thinking robots.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Twilight opened the door and walked out. “Hey Spike, how was… uh, the box?” She raised her eyebrows in unison as if suggesting something.

“It just might have been the most amazing thing ever.”

“So, do you have anything for me?”

“Uhm, no?”

Furrowing her brow, she took a deep breath. “You were in there for four hours… and you didn’t take any notes!?”

“Nope.”

“Spike,” she deadpanned. “Get in the tree.”

“Uhm.”

“Get. In. The Tree.”

“Bye Spike,” Each of the girls said as they walked off.

As they headed home, each was whispering to each other, likely about Spike and the nut case he was living with. As they both walked inside, Twilight kept her head lowered with her frustrated face. She shut the door behind her with a back hoof and then took yet another sigh. “I don’t get it, Spike.”

“What?” he asked, turning around.

“I don’t get it! I went through every book in the library and there was nothing about boxes and magic. Nothing! I stood by that window for half an hour hearing all those fighting noises but the box didn’t glow, vibrate, shake… it didn’t even move!” She grabbed his face and pulled him close. “What did you do to make it work?”

“Twilight, it’s just a box.”

Her eye twitched. “Fine, I see how it is.” She lightly pushed her assistant away and made her way back to the door. “The unicorn with a magic talent can’t know something about magic, is that it? Well! Now that there’s no one in the box, I’ll just have to find out for myself!”

“But, it’s just a-”

Slam.

“...box.”

The thinker

The box itself was large, sizable enough for one Twilight Sparkle to kneel down and her horn barely scrape the brown paper ceiling. It was just like any other package: brown, had eight corners, twelve lines, six faces (counting the now closed four opening flaps as one) and there was nothing even remotely significant.

Ordinary.

Twilight frowned. She sat there, waiting for something to happen, maybe even a noise or perhaps an echo, something that remotely resembled the actions of the Crusaders. All that happened was it getting slightly hotter inside and a stomach rumble. She pressed a hoof to the ground, leaving a small indent in the floor.

An idea popped into her mind. She pressed another hoof into the floor and took notice of a casual detail she had missed. There really was nothing. All of that noise and action and the floor was unscathed except for her own recent additions. Logically, they couldn’t have been in the box and fighting if there was no trace unless they had just been sitting there.

Yet, it didn’t explain the sounds. She knew she had heard those. The unicorn, undeterred, sent a wave of magic through the box, attempting to seek out any remnants of previous conjurations. Not even the faintest speck of glitter presented itself.

“Ok, so they weren’t moving in the box… and there wasn’t any magic in the box… how did they do that?” Gently, she stood up and breached the roof.

“Hiya Twi!”

“Gah!” Twilight flipped over the edge and landed on her stomach. Pressing herself off of the ground, she asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, my nose became stuffy so I figured somepony was trying to discover something. Are you that somepony?”

“Yes, I am.” She took in a deep breath with a matching exhale. “Earlier, Apple Bloom and her friends were playing in this box and I heard these noises from it and- you think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

Pinkie only laughed. “You’ve never played in a box before?”

Twilight couldn’t help but shrug.

“Oh, everypony played in a box when they were a filly! They were fortresses-“

“Bookforts.”

“They were castles!”

“I lived in a castle.”

“They were spaceships!”

“We had a pretty advanced telescope that could search-“

“But best of all, they were our stage!”

At this, Twilight stopped rebutting. “Stage?”

“Yeah! Boxes are like the best stages in the world. That mean old outside world can’t tell us what to do in there.” She bounced up as if the idea had formed into a spring pad beneath her. “I should help you play in the box!”

The librarian levitated it up. “It looks a little small, don’t you think?”

“You mean to tell me the most powerful unicorn in Equestria can’t make a box a little bigger?”

Twilight stood there, dumbfounded. “Right.”

___

“Ok, so, how does the box work?”

“Well, for starters, you can’t describe anything.”

“What? But how will we know what we’re doing?”

“Well, it’s kind of like onotopopierra in books! You just sound it out a bit but with your brain!”

“You mean, onomatopoeia?”

“Whatever floats your boat. Hey! That’s a great place to start! A boat!”

“There’s no boats around here, and if there were, how would we convince somepony to use it?”

“No, I mean, we’ll imagine we’re on a boat.”

“Uhm, ok. I’m on a boat.”

…

“Boooooring. Twilight, are you just saying you’re on a boat, or do you really mean it?”

“Pinkie, we’re not on a boat.”

“But you have to believe we are. I’m on a boat! No, a yacht! In Hookhoof bay!”

Awk. Awk. Awk.

Whoooooooooosh.

“Hey! The noises!”

“Hey, you’re starting to get it now!”

“How’d you do that? Was it something with the lungs? Did you tape a recorder to the side of the box? Is Spike out there messing with us?”

“Imagination, no, no, and Spike’s frustrated about something. I can tell, my mane is tingling.”

“Probably all of those books I took off of the shelf.”

“Ok, we’re getting off topic. Now, imagine you’re on a boat.”

“Uhm, all right. I’m on a boat.”

“Ok, no more describing. Now, feel the boat rock underneath you.”

“But the ground is fl-“

“Feel the boat, Twilight. Feeeeeeeeeel the boat.”

“It’s not-“

“Feeeeeeeeel the boat. Let the waves gently rock you from side to side, let the wind blow through your mane, let the cool afternoon sun bare down on you.”

“I think I have it.”

“Look out Twilight! Pirates are attacking!”

“What?”

“When you’re imagining things, you need to be able to adapt to a changing situation.”

“Like chess?”

___

Pinkie suddenly popped out. “Oi vey, this might take more work than I thought. Perhaps the box is too big for you right now. You’re still thinking inside of it.”

“Wait, where are you going? We were just getting started!”

She turned her head around with her body following suit. “Well, I can help you all day with giving you scenarios, but it’s up to you to believe it’s actually there.” She sighed. “We need something simpler.” She scavenged the ground until she discovered a perfectly suitable rock and picked it up. “Here, take this rock.”

She levitated it over. “Uhm, ok?”

“What do you see?”

She blankly stared at the solid gray surface. “Is this a trick question?”

Pinkie’s face fell to a serious expression, an emotion as rare as it was unnerving. “What do you see?”

“A rock.”

“Ok, good. Now, pretend the rock has a name.”

“What?”

Pinkie pulled at her face a little with her hooves. “Pretend the rock has a name, please?”

Twilight stared at the emotionless stone in front of her then back at her instructor. “Pinkie, it’s just a rock. What difference would it make if it had a name?”

“Oh my, you’re more lost than I thought. We’ll need some expert help on this one.” Pinkie held a hoof to her chin. “I have an idea. Tomorrow, join the crusaders so you can see how it works. You’re a mare of science, right? Wouldn’t that be the most logical solution?”

She buried her face in a hoof as she reveled in the epiphany.

“Just remember, Twilight, one is enough, two can be just as bad as one, three is a crowd, and four is a barbershop quartet.” With that, Pinkie trotted off back to wherever she came from, leaving the librarian to ponder on the vague advice.