House Guest

Chapters

Chapter 1: Eggs, Bacon, and Trixie
Chapter 2: Questions and answers
Chapter 3: Tongue Cramps and Cops
Chapter 4: Sugar!
Chapter 5: Sex, Drugs, but no Rock n Roll
Chapter 6: Wake up! Grab a Brush and put on a little Hatred
Chapter 7: Exploding/Reloading
Chapter 8: Twilight's Breast Save The Day
Chapter 9: Uninvited Guest

Chapter 1: Eggs, Bacon, and Trixie

“I’m leaving honey.”

“Alright Mom.” I said in a droning voice. It was 7am, and normally I’d be going to sleep about now, but my Mom was leaving to go meet my Dad at some homecoming bullshit. And she couldn’t just call me on the phone for some reason. She also couldn’t have just left with him because her work wouldn’t allow her the time off until now for some reason, and why she was leaving so fucking early was beyond me. But whatever, no one will be forcing me awake at 3 pm today at least.

“I left you food money, but don’t go out to eat every meal. Try to make yourself something.” She instructed.

“Do you really want to risk me burning the house down?” I asked.

She thought about it for a moment, reached into her purse, and left an extra 20. “On second thought, maybe a few days of fast food won’t hurt you.” She said with a smile. She hugged me and then got into the car and drove away.

Well it’s 7am, and I have been left with around $50 worth of food money. Well I haven’t had a good Breakfast in a while, might as well go to IHOP before I pass out.

I got into my car and drove to the nearby IHOP. Traffic at 7am on a Saturday wasn’t as mind numbing as it is on weekdays, but I still hated dealing with peoples lack of driving knowledge. I pulled into the busy IHOP and found a parking spot fairly close to the entrance.

“Jesus, it’s fucking filled up here.” I thought to myself. I walked into the restaurant and got seated fairly quick. The Asian Waitress handed me the menu and I eyed it over. I wasn’t too hungry, and all the options seemed like way too much food. Three eggs, two bacon strips, two sausages, and four pancakes? That seems like something for an actual person who works, not someone who sits around all day doing nothing. Ah ha! Two eggs, two sausages, and two pancakes. That’s more like it. When the waitress came back with the orange juice I placed my order.

I glanced around at all the new faces. I didn’t get out much anymore. Only a few times with friends, who were all mostly in college. Although I never felt lonely per say, I still felt the lack of human contact people desire... well mostly sex.

My meal arrived about twenty minutes later and I ate it at a fast pace as I normally did with all my meals. After a few minutes there was only half an egg left on my plate. I got the check and paid with the money my Mother left me. I left a small tip, and drove back home. The whole ordeal took less than forty minutes, but it seemed to have went by faster than that.

As I entered my house the first thing I did seeing as I just got back from eating at IHOP was going to the bathroom. After that was taken care of I quickly undressed, and crawled into bed. Sleep was quick, and so were the dreams. Dreams of... well I’d rather not say.

*BOOM* *CRASH* *SIMILAR NOISES OF ACTION*

“Okay, what the fuck was that?” I asked myself quickly waking from my slumber. I quickly gathered clothes out of my closet, dressed, and grabbed a baseball bat. I walked out of my room and stood in the middle of the hallway. I assume the noise came from the basement, but you can never be too sure. I walked with as much grace as I could, trying to be as silent as possible. But being a groggy teenager with a fast food addiction... well you can put it together.

After doing a “Sweep” if that’s what you call me walking through my small living room with a bat. I took to the even smaller kitchen. I made my way around the corner that led to the basement. I could hear noises of someone trying to walk up the stairs. I quickly hide in the small space by the stairs that housed the washing, and drying machine. I had the bat raised and I was prepared to strike. But what I saw made me almost drop the bat all together. Is that? Could it be? ...What?

What stood in front of me was a girl. No, more like a women. A womanly girl? I don’t know. She stood at about 5’6. Her hair was of an ethereal white color. She had a slim figure for the most part. Except the waist from what I could see. Her hourglass figure put me in a trance. Oh did I mention? She didn’t have any clothes on.

Then it happened, the fucking bat fell. Making a loud clanging sound as the wood fell onto the tile. She quickly turned around. Revealing to me that not only was she curvy in the back, but curvy in the front as well if you get what I mean. That’s when it happened. Something most men dread when they meet with a women. The worst thing imaginable. She talked.

“Who dares sneak up behind The Great and Powerful Trixie?!” She demanded.

“Um... I... The who?” I asked confused and slightly aroused.

“I The Great and Powerful Trixie! I have conquered all the worlds great beasts with my magic. I have stomped all over my enemies. And The Great and Powerful Trixie...is a little cold.” She finally ended.

“Well that tends to happen when you...” I was about to finish

“You may call me The Great and Powerful Trixie!” She demanded.

“... Um, I mean... That tends to happen when The Great and Powerful Trixie isn’t wearing any clothes.” I said.

“My old clothes no longer fit my form. It seems The Great and Powerful Trixie has ascended!” She said.

Oh great. Out of all the hot chicks that could be butt ass naked in my house, I had to get a fucking crackhead. What the fuck do I do? I can’t kick her out. Well I could, but that wouldn’t be very nice. Something tells me The Great and Powerful Trixie wouldn’t take kindly to being shoved out into the great and powerful winter. Huh... So what the fuck do I do?

“Who are you?” She asked. “And how do you have clothes that fit you? When does The Great and Powerful Trixie get clothes that fit her? Are you here to show me what feats I need to conquer in this world? Or am I a Goddess here?” Holy fuck she talks a lot.

“Um, I got my clothes at a store... and to your last two questions... No?” I finished. I never was too good at talking to girls. And I’m definitely not good at talking too drugged up naked ones.

“No? You mean to tell me The Great and Powerful Trixie is not a Goddess here?” She asked. “Then why am I hear?” She asked, sounding less high and mighty, and more like a girl whose dreams had just been crushed.

Well now I can’t kick her out even if I wanted to. She seemed to have hit my soft spot. She was a girl in distress. And I can never turn down a girl in distress. She was now sitting on the cold tile floor, with her hands over her head. She sounded like she was... crying? I’ve only known her for a few minutes, but she doesn’t seem like the one to cry.

I didn’t really know what to do. Do I go over and comfort her? Or do I stand awkwardly and stare at her body. Her naked body. Her.. Okay shut the fuck up penis.

“Can you at least... get me back to Ponyville?” The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.

She didn’t use her full... name? Someone whose name has the words great and powerful in it sounds pretty full of themselves, or her parents named her that. I think I’m going to go with the first one. It almost sounds like a stage name come to think of it. More importantly, Ponyville? Sounds like something those crazed Pony lovers talk about on the internet. Well she sure as hell doesn’t seem like a brony, or whatever they’re called. Well I better answer truthfully.

“No, I can’t. In fact, I have no idea where that is. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a place on this planet called Ponyville.” I said.

She seemed upset. Very upset. “Well not that it would matter if you did. I’m not wanted there. In fact, the only reason I want, NEED to go there is to show those ponies who is great and powerful.”

“Great and powerful in what sense?” I asked. She couldn’t be talking about...

“Well magical of course.” She said. Well shit... she is crazy

“Are you a magician?” I asked. That could explain the ridiculous name.

“A magician?” She scoffed. “I am certainly no magician. The Great and Powerful Trixie will show you her powers!”

This should be interesting.

She sat there concentrating. And then she stood up. I really need to get her some clothes. I think I’m going to pass out due to blood loss. But it couldn’t hurt to keep her nude for a little longer.

She then felt at her forehead. Her eyes went wide, and she screamed.

“MY HORN! WHERE IS MY HORN?!” She scream.

“Um, humans don’t have horns.” I said.

“Then how do you do magic?!” She questioned.

“We don’t. Magic isn’t real.” I said.

“Oh my Celestia. Where am I then? I thought I had transcended into the plain of pure magic. I had heard of people becoming pure forms of magic. I figured this was the form. Oh, what am I going to do?”

She was crying again. Even louder than last time. I looked at the clock. 10:30 in the morning. Well I guess first things first.

“Hey.” I spoke up. I went to her spot on the ground where she was very close to balling up in the fetal position. “Here, come with me.” I said, reaching out a hand. She took it, with fear in her eyes. I guess whatever drugs she is on, must of really fucked up her. Odd thing is her hands didn’t feel clammy, or even hot. She can’t truly think that she is a powerful wizard from some far away world can she? Well, I guess people have believed crazier things. I mean look at Justin Bieber fans.

“Where are you taking The Great and Powerful Trixie?” She asked. Her arrogance returning.

“Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie can’t be all powerful naked right?” I asked.

“I guess you have a point.” She said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie demands your name.” She asked, but her voice didn’t sound as powerful and demanding as she was trying to let on.

“It’s Matt, and from the looks of your position, you aren’t so great and powerful right now.” I ended. I feel like if she had been in any other position she would of destroyed me, but I think she was finally understanding the severity of the situation. As I entered my room, I led her to my closet, and allowed her to look through all the clothes. Then the greatest thing in the world happened.

“Can you um... do something for me?” She asked.

“What? What do you need?” I asked.

“I can't seem to get theses closes on, The Great and Powerful Trixie is demanding you assist her in her time of need.” She said.

Well fuck me. Today might have went from crazy, to just plain awesome.

Chapter 2: Questions and answers

Okay Matt, how do you go about this? I was staring at a no doubt beautiful woman in front of me, with no clothes on, begging me to help her put the clothes on. Shit, now she is noticing my eyes on her, this can’t be good. Or maybe it will be! But it probably won’t knowing my ability to fuck up things.

“Well? The Great and Powerful Trixie is waiting for you to assist her.” She said.

“Yeah, one second. It’s just, I haven’t done something like this in awhile.” I said.

“What? Help out The Great and Powerful Trixie? I’d assume not, seeing as I’ve only met you today.” She said.

“Not that. I’ve helped out a lot of people, just not by doing something like this.” I said.

“Like what?” She asked, then deciding to pay no mind to my statement. “Oh, never mind. The Great and Powerful Trixie is getting cold, and it would seem that theses bag like objects on my chest are growing bumps. Well just two, one for each bag.” She said.

Should I tell her? Nope. It much more entertaining this way. “Okay, let me see about how I should tackle this situation.” I said. It was at that time she handed me the shirt she randomly must have picked out of my closet, and just stood there with her arms crossed. I guess I wouldn’t have much patience if I was naked either. I decided to start with the shirt first, seeing as it was the only thing she handed me.

“Okay, uh, put your arms up over your head.” I instructed.

She gave me a somewhat bored expression, and then did as I instructed. I slipped the shirt over her head, and she put her arms in the sleeves. The shirt itself was a T-shirt, with the words “System of a Down” on it, written in red text.

“Theses bags seem to need more support.” Trixie stated. “They are starting to become annoying. Is there anyway to remove them?” She asked me.

“NO! I mean, uh, no. Not that I know of.” I said. If they get removed, then what fun would this be?

“Okay. What did you say your name was again? The Great and Powerful Trixie believes you would be of help later.” She said. I kinda wish she would just ask me to fuck her already.

“It’s Matthew, or Matt for short.” I said.

“Okay, Matthew. Thank you for helping The Great and Powerful Trixie get dressed.” She said. Did she seriously think that all she needed was a shirt to get dressed?

“Uh... you need to put on more than just a shirt to be considered dressed.” I said.

“What? What more could The Great and Powerful Trixie need?” She asked.

“Well, some panties, but since I don’t own any, I guess you can borrow some of my underwear.” I said.

“What would The Great and Powerful Trixie need this ‘underwear’ you speak of for?” She asked.

“Well, to cover your, ass area?” I said.

“My what?! Are you saying that a part of me looks like a donkey?!” She asked.

God...dammit. “No, no, no. That’s not what I’m saying. Let me put this another way. Underwear is used to cover your... uh. Well fuck. Your backside? Yeah your backside, yeah, we’ll go with that.” I said.

“My... backside?” She asked. “You mean this part?” She asked while reaching around to her back, not butt.

“Um.. lower.” I said.

She reached to her lower back, getting close, but still not exactly what I was talking about. “No, go even lower.” I said.

She finally hit it. Well more like touched it, if she would have hit her ass I think my dick would have grown legs and cut out the middleman. “Has The Great and Powerful Trixie finally found it?” She asked.

“Yeah, you got it.” I said. I then went to where my underwear in the drawer of my wooden cabinet that also held my TV. I picked out a pair of black colored briefs, and handed them to her.

“There, that should fit.” I said.

She cleared her throat at me. I turned to her. “What?” I asked.

“I do believe you agreed to help The Great and Powerful Trixie get her clothes on. I presume this is a piece of clothing?” She asked.

She expects me to get on my hands and knees and put her feet through the briefs, then raise them up her legs, smooth legs. Then go by her for some reason shaven pussy, a nice one. And then finish. Well hopefully she expects me to be finished in more than one way.

“Yes, it’s a piece of clothing.” I said.

“So that means you’re going to help put the clothing on The Great and Powerful Trixie?” She asked.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I said. Not really sad about having to do it, just more nervous about what may... or not may not happen.

“Then get to it Matt. The Great and Powerful Trixie rewards those who follow her instructions” She said. Okay, what the fuck does that mean? I don’t know if I should be excited because she is going to reward me, or feel insulted because I’m being talked to like a dog. Eh, I’ve never been one to start an argument that could deny me sex.

I then got on my knees with the underwear in hand. I put her left foot through the proper hole, then followed suit with the right foot. I then put my hands on the rubber area and pulled it up. My hands happened to be in the front. If this was on purpose, or by accident, I have no idea. All I know is that my fingertips are about to brush up against something awesome. I pulled them up to her special place and just as I planned, or didn’t plan. You don’t know, you weren’t there. I’m not a pervert! Well, as I was saying, my fingertips brushed up against her slit.

She moaned slightly in response. Her eyes went from being filled with pleasure, to being filled with confusion, then back to arrogance. I will assume that arrogance is their normal setting.

“What did you just do that made The Great and Powerful Trixie feel that... that... well THAT?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. But I’ll have you know it was totally an accident and not planned at all. I mean I don’t even know someone who would plan such a thing. Certainly not me, I’m not that type of guy at all ever.” I said.

“Something tells The Great and Powerful Trixie that you meant to do that.” She said.

“Now what would give you that idea?” I asked.

“You must show The Great and Powerful Trixie that sensation again some time. But for now I must discuss something with you.” She said. I would like to tell her that underwear, and a shirt that is housing some of the nicest ‘bags’ I’ve ever seen isn’t all that getting dressed has to offer, but fuck it. This could get interesting. Besides I was technically just promised sex. So score one for my dick.

I followed her out of my room, feeling a bit disappointed that whatever she wanted to discuss, couldn’t have taken place on a bed.

She stopped in the front room. She sat herself on the couch and motioned for me to sit by her. Say one cushion away from her and awaited the discussion.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to make it known that she likes what you’ve done for her. She would now like to ask you for another favor.” Trixie said.

“And what would that be?” I asked.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to know if she could stay here for a little while. I have no other place to live, and it would seem that someone lied to me. So what do you say? Can The Great and Powerful Trixie stay here?” She asked.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. What was that about someone lying to you?” I asked.

“If you must know, The Great and Powerful Trixie was outside of a bar, when a powerful wizard approached. He told me he could turn me into one the most powerful beings imaginable! I agreed but he had a few conditions.” She said

I think I can guess them.

“I had to pay him 300 bits. The Great and Powerful Trixie always has money on her! I’ve never been poor in my life!” She said.

That sounds like bullshit.

“I also had to show him a good time. Whatever that meant. So I agreed, but as soon as we went to his room in a hotel, he seemed disappointed. I don’t know why.” She said.

Yeah, I wonder why. If I had her in my room, I think I would be the opposite of disappointed... wait, I did have her in my room, and I was disappointed. It’s all starting to make sense now.

“He asked me to do some really weird things, I refused, The Great and Powerful Trixie does not do such weird things with a Colt she doesn’t even know! But oddly enough he still agreed to do the spell.” She said.

I don’t believe a fucking word of this, but at least it’s more entertaining than not staring at a hot chick in very little clothes.

“So anyways, he did the spell and then The Great and Powerful Trixie awoke in here! Wherever here is.” She thought for a moment. “Maybe the spell somehow got tampered with! Maybe he botched it!” She said.

Okay, I’ll play along. “So what you’re suggesting is that this all powerful wizard. One of the greatest around. A master at magic was performing a basic teleportation spell, and messed it up? That seems so legit.” I said.

“What do you think you have a better understanding of it? The Great and Powerful Trixie is the most intelligent mare around!” Trixie said.

“Well first of all you aren’t a horse, and second of all the only reason you’re probably here is because he wanted to fuck you, and you didn’t let him.” I said. It was so obvious. How could she have not figured this out?

“He wanted to do what to The Great and Powerful Trixie?” She asked.

“Yeah, you’re pretty cute, it wouldn’t surprise me that he tried to fuck you.” I said.

“No, The Great and Powerful Trixie meant to ask what does fuck mean... and wait what! You think The Great and Powerful Trixie is.. cute?” She asked, somewhat embarrassed.

Yes. Now we’re getting somewhere. “Yeah, you’re really cute I think.” I said.

“Well of course The Great and Powerful Trixie is cute. I am not just cute, I am the most beautiful mare in all the world!” She said, her arrogance making a thundering return. Typical of a woman with the looks of hers act like this.

“Now please inform The Great and Powerful Trixie what this ‘fucking’ is. You have sparked my interest.” She said. Oh God, she really needs to stop referring to herself in the third person. For the longest time I thought someone else was in the room with me.

“You don’t know what fucking means? You know, it means banging.” I said.

“What dose banging mean?” She asked.

A sly smile crossed my lips. “It means fucking.” I said.

“You think you can act smart with The Great and Powerful Trixie?” She asked.

“Yeah, I kinda do.” I said, the same sly smile painted across my lips.

She then did the unspeakable. I mean she is the last person I would have done something like she is about to do.

Trixie than sprung from the cushion by me to right on top of me. She had my arms pinned down and had a victorious smile on her lips. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is also strong!” She shouted victoriously.

Yeah, we’ll see about that. I quickly planted my hands on her shoulders and moved my leg over hers. I then quickly spun her around. Thankfully the couch wasn’t too small, or we would have fallen on our asses. Now my face was the one over hers. Her face now wore something completely different from victory. It now reflected embarrassment, mixed with... was that horyness I spotted on her? Now this is starting to get interesting.

I changed my smile from sly, to mischievous. “So... You want to know what fucking is?” I asked.

Chapter 3: Tongue Cramps and Cops

Trixie was still trapped under my weight and no matter how hard she tried to get free, she couldn’t. That being said, she didn’t seem to be trying too hard. She continued to stare into my eyes. That same excited look still remained.

I started to run my hands through her soft white hair. She must dye it that color. I put my other hand on her side, and started to rub it gently. Her eyes closed and she seemed to be enjoying the treatment. After my hand got through running through her hair, I approached her face with mine. I pressed my lips down on hers. At first she was confused and didn’t know what to do. After a few more seconds of rubbing her side and trying to get my tongue into her mouth, she go the idea and opened her mouth enough for my tongue to slide in. Her tongue was now starting to liven up as she learned more about the whole kissing experience. Maybe she really was from another world. I doubt a woman that looks as good as her has never had a kiss before, because she was sure acting like it. She started to press her body against mine as our kiss became increasingly more passionate. I moved my hand from her side and put it just below her chest. While still kissing her I ran my hand down her shirt. Seeing as the shirt fit very loosely on her I easily slide my hand from her stomach up to her chest. I took her fleshy breast in my hand and squeezed. The reaction was almost instant. I felt her moan in my mouth. Her tongue started to move more rapidly against mine, and I was enjoying every second of it.

While still kissing her my hand moved from her right breasts, to her left. I squeezed it in the same manner that I squeezed the other. But this time I did something a little different. I moved my hand to the top of the large breasts and squeezed the nipple. This gave her another jolt as she pressed her lower region even harder into mine. Huh, I guess sex really is natural. As the kissing got even more intense I broke it. Trixie stared at me with an intense look of disappointment.

“Don’t worry, we aren’t done yet.” I said.

I put my hands behind her back and lifted her up slightly. She started to kiss my neck as I put my hands on the bottom of her shirt. Damn, she learns fast. She lifted her arms and the shirt slide off, and I threw it to the side. I lifted her head up from my neck and then bent my head down to kiss her lips again. After a short kiss I began to kiss my way down to her neck. I let my tongue move it’s way down her neck and onto her chest. By this time I was on top of her while she laid back down on the couch. I put both of my hands on each of her breasts. I then put my mouth on the nipple of her left breast and started to move my tongue over it slowly. She moaned out and grabbed my hair and again, pressed herself against me. I started to lick more rabidly at her nipple and bit down softly on it. I moved my hand from one of her breasts down her stomach then to her pants that she borrowed from me. They felt damp... really damp. I think I know the reason for that.

I put my finger on her slit from outside the pants and rubbed slowly and gently. I was greeted with a small yelp from her. Again, her grip on my hair tightened. I moved away from licking her nipple, and started kissing my way down her stomach. I put my finger inside her tight pussy. My kissing stopped where the pants begin and I decide to finally take them off to. Trixie couldn’t have kick them off quickly when they reached her angles. I started my kissing back up from the same stop and kissed through her hairless pussy down to the lips. I slightly moved my tongue around both sides of her pussy, being sure not to enter just yet. The hand that had been exploring her insides was now squeezing her ass as I decided to let my tongue take over. As my tongue went around her slit I felt that all too familiar hand grab my head again.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks you tease too much.” She said, barely able to get the sentence out.

“I enjoy being a-”

I was cut off due to the fact she pressed my face into her wet pussy. Well I guess I know what I have to do now. Again I choose my tongue as the pleasure of choice and start licking and tasting her insides. Her clit was hard and easy to spot. I instantly darted my tongue to it, and licked and twirled my tongue around her pleasure spot. My head was being pushed harder into her sweet spot and I was sure she was about ready to orgasm. Her moans were reaching a high volume, and she was sure to leave nail marks in my head. I picked up my licking pace to the point of tongue cramps, the worst kind of cramps. She was starting to face fuck me and I knew I was getting her close. I heard the groans and moans of a woman getting ready to orgasm. Then finally she did it. I felt her tight pussy start to lightly squeeze my tongue and more liquid came from her. It tasted almost sweet. Mmm, tasty.

She was slightly sweaty from her orgasm, and was panting heavily with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes slightly and gazed in mine.

“That’s...Sex? The Great and Powerful Trixie enjoys... this thing called... sex.” She said as she panted.

“Nope, that’s not sex.” I said.

“What?!” She said, sounding confused.

“Yep, sex involves more than just my tongue and hands.” I said.

“Wait, what are hands?” She asked.

“Well, hands are-”

*BAM BAM BAM*

“What the fuck could that be?” I wondered.

“POLICE, ANSWER THE DOOR, WE CAN HERE YOU IN THERE.”

“Shit, this isn’t about that dead hooker is it? Wait... I don’t have a dead hooker, just an injured tongue.” I said to myself. “Trixie, I would suggest you just stay in here. For the sake of us both, I think you shouldn’t talk to the police.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t think she could get up if she tried.” She said.

“Good.” I said and made my way over to the door. I sighed deeply, and opened the door. I fucking hate cops.

“Good morning officer.” I said as pleasantly as I could.

“Cut the shit. We got noise complaints against this house from an hour ago.” The officer said. Oddly enough he was alone... so who the fuck was he referring to?”

“We? There seems to be only one of you.” I said.

“Shove the smart ass remarks up your ass unless you want to take a ride.” He said.

“I don’t think I know what noises you’re referring to sir.” I said. Goddamn, it hurt to say sir.

“People described it as loud crashes, and electronic sounds.” He said. “Have you been blasting that shitty dub step music kid?” He asked.

Crashes, and electronic sounds? What the fuck was he going on about. Unless that’s the sounds Trixie made when she arrived. Fuck, that must of made a big mess... I’m going to have to fucking clean up aren’t I?

“Hey! You fucking deaf piece of shit! Answer my fucking question!” He demanded.

“Well, first of all, dub step isn’t really my style, metal is.” I said.

“Well then, explain all the noises asshole.” He said.

“I have no idea what noises you’re talking about. How could theses people even pinpoint the noises to this house? Sounds like shitty police work if you ask me. Maybe your invisible partner could shed some light on the issue.” I said.

“One more fucking comment and I will fuck you up kid. Let me in so I can search the area.” He said.

“You’re fucking crazy. I’m not stupid, dipshit. Let me see your fucking warrant signed by a judge and then you can get in here. Sounds to me like you don’t have any fucking grounds to search the place anyway. So if you’re done harassing me then I think you can leave now. Unless you want to talk to a lawyer.” I said. HA! Lawyer. Like I have one of those. Shit, I hope he doesn’t want to talk to one.

“I could always just beat the shit out of you and say you were resisting arrest.” He said.

“Are you that fucking bored?” I asked. “Not enough black people to beat up today?”

“Fine, you aren’t worth my time you miserable fat pile of shit. I look forward to seeing you again.” He said as he walked off.

It’s always nice talking to the courageous police force of America.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks it wise that I didn’t talk to him.” She said. “Would you like to show me the rest of this sex concept?” She asked.

“Not now. That cop killed my boner. Maybe I should press charges for it. Call it boner harassment.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is confused.” She said.

“Yeah, probably. But I gotta say. Looking at your figure again is helping my dick heal.” I said.

“Is this dick of yours used in the act called sex?” She asked.

“It certainly is love.” I said. “Now lets make our way downstairs. I need to see what damage you caused.” I said.

“I didn’t cause any damage, it was that wizards bouchet spell.” She said.

“I highly doubt a wizard of that caliber could fuck up a spell.” I said. Wait, why am I even going along with this, wizard aren’t real.

I along with The Great and Fuckable Trixie made my way down the stairs. I could smell burnt wood, and fabric. This can’t be good. After finally reaching the basement I stared at the fucking mess that was my basement. Nothing was still on fire, but something really fucking burnt my shit up. I saw something that reflected my Nintendo 64... Wait... IT WAS! It was burnt to a crisp.

Mother... FUCKER!” I screamed.

Chapter 4: Sugar!

*NOTE*

Yeah, I know this chapter is kinda short, but it was Halloween and I didn't do a fucking thing. This chapter is heavy on back story and sarcasm. Enjoy!

“I don’t... I can’t...WHY!” I screamed. My only true love in life, lost...

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is going to ask a stupid question. How...do you feel?” She asked me.

“How do I feel? What do I say? IN THE END IT ALL GOES AWAY!” I screamed. Goodbye love... I hope I can see you soon in a better life. Wait... there are tits and a vagina around me. Nope, didn’t help, still sad.

“Uh... The Great and Powerful Trixie is going to go look for something to eat. I’ll leave you down here with your... thoughts I guess.” She said as she walked away.

I sat on my knees in front of the distorted mess that was my Nintendo 64. All the great times. All the games beat. All the falcon punches on Smash Bros. At least none of the games are destroyed. Still, it’s going to be a bitch finding another Nintendo 64. Maybe I should apologize for overreacting to Trixie. Nah, I wasn’t overreacting at all.

After sulking over my destroyed system I made my way up the stairs. I made my way into the kitchen to be greeted by the again naked Trixie reaching for some snacks on the top shelf. This granted me a great view of her hindquarters, and what a great view it was. Should I dress her again? No, another round of dress up and I don’t think we’ll leave the bed. I smiled at the sight of her trying to reach whatever it was she was trying to get. Finally she got the food she was trying to get, and she turned around with a box of Party Mix and gave me a questioning stare.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie request to know if this food is any good?” She asked... kinda, I guess? I’m still getting use to her speech.

“I really need to teach you how to speak less... confusingly.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not know what is wrong with her way of speech.” She said.

“You talk in the third person... stop it.” I said.

“But this is how The Great and Powerful Trixie likes talking. I don’t see why I should stop.” She said.

“THERE! Right there! You mixed first person, and third person. WHY?!” I asked.

“You don’t expect The Great and Powerful Trixie to constantly say her name all the time do you?” She asked.

“I... I... Well... I’m done. Yes, that is a great snack food to answer your first question that you had.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie shall eat it then!” She said.

“So... where did you say you were from again?” I asked.

“Ponyville originally, I grew up with great powers in magic seeing as I was a unicorn. I made my living doing shows- I mean... Uh, defeating beasts! I can, well could perform all sorts of magical feats. It seems that in this world my magical powers have been stripped from me.” She finished sadly.

“Ponyville, and magical powers? Fuck it, I’ll play along. What kind of magical powers did you have?” I asked.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie had magical powers that could rival those of Celestia and Luna!” She said, beaming with pride.

“Wow, that’s amazing. Who the fuck are Celestia and Luna?” I asked.

“You don’t know who Celestia and Luna are?” She asked.

“Nope, never heard of them. Wait! Luna means Moon. Fuck yeah, 7th grade science.” I said.

“Uh... Well anyway. Celestia is...” She seemed stuck in thought, then her face contorted into a smile. “Celestia and Luna were the evil rulers of Equestria, but The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished them. Sadly there one helper is still at large, her name is Twilight. She embarrassed- I mean tried to embarrass me during a show- I mean... well yeah a show.” She said.

Well that has to be the most truthful thing I’ve heard my entire life. There is no reason I would doubt what she just said. Fuck it, I’ll play along again. I better get my reward. Well my dick better get the reward.

“Huh. So you’re pretty powerful?” I asked.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is indeed powerful.” Her face face changed from pride, to worried. “You believe me... don’t you?” She asked.

“Sure. Why not? You aren’t like any girl I’ve seen before.” I said.

“Good! So... The Great and Powerful Trixie is getting bored. What do you... what are you called again?” She asked.

“Humans, we are called humans.” I said.

“What do you humans do for fun?” She asked.

“Well, normally we watch TV among other things” I said.

We sat in front of the television and I turned it on. The channel that was currently on was TLC. After a few minutes of Honey Boo Boo. Trixie was getting annoyed it seemed.

“What is this trash you humans call entertainment?” She asked.

“Yeah... I guess I’ve missed out on the current television craz. Maybe we should try another channel. One more minute of this human pig and I think I’ll be sick.” I said. I surfed the channels. Nothing. Absolute shit.

“Maybe we should try the computer.” I said.

“What is this computer?” She asked.

“Well, it’s the single most important piece of technology ever created.” I said, as I pressed the power button. I pulled up a chair and she took a seat.

The computer powered on and I pulled up the Firefox and showed her the wonders of the internet.

“So, you’re telling The Great and Powerful Trixie that the greatest bands on earth are Slayer and System of a Down, and the best form of entertainment is shooting people?” She asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I said.

“And if people disagree, you call them a faggot?” She asked.

“Yeah, that’s about right.” I said.

“This world is better than I thought.” She said.

It was a little past three in the afternoon when my stomach started to grumbled for food. I left Trixie at home and drove to a burger joint and got some food. I returned to the house to find Trixie asleep on the couch, still naked. I wonder if she is still cold? Eh, it won’t kill her. I bet her nipples are tired of being pointy though. I tapped her on the shoulder and she awake to see me holding the food.

“Is that for me?” She asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Uh... yeah?” I said.

“What is it? It smells... actually kinda good.” She said.

“Hamburgers and french fries. The greatest meal in America.” I said.

She decided to get dressed before she ate. Goddammit. I handed her the food after she finished getting dressed, and she smelled it, and took a bite out of the hamburger. She then took a fry and took a small bite from it. What happened next I can’t really explain. It’s like she became a lawn mower with a mouth. The food seemed to almost instantly disappear. I barely had a few bites out of my food and hers was completely gone.

“Well. I’ll assume the all power Trixie enjoyed her meal.” I said.

“I certainly did.” She said. “What do you suggest we do now? The Great and Powerful Trixie is tired.” She said.

After I finished my meal I decided to put in a DVD. Lord of the Rings. For some reason I figured it would kinda fit in with her interest, or delusions. Whatever you want to call them. It was almost 5, and this is a three hour movie. Oh God... I haven’t slept all day. Jesus, I guess time flies when you’re around The Great and Doable Trixie.

Trixie was sitting on her own couch, completely mesmerized by the movie. She seemed to be taking mental notes about Gandalf, and kept saying no fair every time he did something magical. Something tells me she isn’t as powerful as she is letting on. I tried to stay awake through the move but sadly sleep overtook me. I had dreams of giant Nintendo 64’s asking me why I betrayed them.

I awoke suddenly. I felt a slight weight on top of me. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the mischievous smile of Trixie. Her cloths that she put on before dinner were now missing. I guess she realized that I liked her naked more than clothed.

“I’m starting to think you should just give up on wearing clothes. They always end up gone.” I said as I put my hand against her chest. “One way or another I continued.”

“Care to finish teaching your sex lesson to The Great and Powerful Trixie?”

Chapter 5: Sex, Drugs, but no Rock n Roll

Trixie got her question answered as I pulled her in for a kiss. Our tongues continued the dance they had started early this morning. Her large breast pressed against my chest. The tent in my pants returned, and the moistness in her loins returned as well. My hands finding their place on the side of her thighs and her hands rested in my hair. I relocated my hands to her chest for a softer resting place, I lightly squeezed and pinched at her nipples, hoping to get a moan out of her. Thankfully it worked and now she was even more aggressive with her kisses.

Trixie parted her lips from mine and put her hands on my jeans. She unbuttoned them and jerked them off of my legs. My underwear came next. Huh, maybe she had been doing some homework while I was asleep. She looked down at my manhood.

“So this is what one of those looks like?” She asked.

“Uh... Yeah.” I replied.

“So what do I do with it?” She asked.

“Um...” Fuck, I thought this shit was supposed to come natural. Explaining and teaching is the fastest way to destroy a boner.

“Well? The Great and Powerful Trixie was under the impression that you knew. You acted like you had this thing down pat... why is it shrinking?” She asked.

“Well without sexual stimulation the uh, ‘dick’ as it is most commonly referred to shrinks.” I said. I hope this plan works.

“Well what kind of sexual stimulation does it need?” She asked.

Bingo. “Well you see, mostly commonly you would either stroke it, or suck it.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is required to either, put this in her mouth or stroke it? I think I would rather stroke it.” She said.

Fuck! “Well...” Wait, think before you talk. A beautiful girl is agreeing to stroking your dick. Do you really want to push it?

“Well that is a good choice.” I said.

Trixie smiled and grasped it then started to move her hand up and down. My dick sprang back to life in a matter of a few seconds. Thank God for being eighteen. She kept stroking at a slow pace, but lacked the experience to go fast as time went on did. Probably for the better, I don’t want to blow my load, that would be embarrassing. She went for a few more minutes before her hand seemed to get tired. I decided now was the best time to start fucking.

“Ready for the real thing?” I asked her.

“There is more?” She asked in a surprised manner. She’s almost too innocent to fuck... almost.

“Oh yeah, there is more.” I said.

I scooted her pussy closer to my dick and let her rest with it in front of her. She looked into my eyes. She seemed unsure, nervous even. I guess I should probably talk her through what’s about to happen.

“Do you have any idea what’s about to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had put it together by now.

“No, The Great and Powerful Trixie has never done this before.” She said, sounding as innocent as she had the entire day I’ve known her.

“Well, I’m going to stick this.” I said, pointing to my dick. “Into that.” I said pointing to her pussy.

“T-the Great and Powerful Trixie is r-ready.” She stammered out after thinking about for a few moments.

She positioned herself over my cock and slammed her pussy onto it. Oh no...

“AH!” She screamed.

The pleasure I got for it was amazing, but that sadly ended when she rushed herself off of my dick.

“You didn’t tell The Great and Powerful Trixie it would hurt!” She yelled.

“I’m sorry! I assumed that you wouldn’t just plop onto my dick.” I said, trying to sound calm. Maybe if I sound calm, she will be over it.

“That really hurt The Great and Powerful Trixie’s... what do you call this?” She asked pointing to her pussy.

“Uh, pussy.” I quickly said.

“Yeah, that! You really hurt The Great and Powerful Trixie’s pussy!” She said. Oh God, it’s hard not to laugh at that.

“I’m sorry.” I said. “I should have warned you.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie... has forgiven you.” She said. For some reason, that seemed out of character for her.

“Y-you do?” I asked. I feel as though Hell just froze over for some reason.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie shouldn’t... I shouldn’t have did what I did. Since my pussy is sore.” She was saying.

I held in a giggle. God, that was funny.

“I guess I’ll try... sucking on it.” She said.

I think I just saw a pig fly by my window. That also seems out of character. Well, I’ve never been one to turn down a blow job.

Trixie slowly made her way from the floor that she fell on after being impaled by her own accord, to the couch that I was now sitting up on. She positioned herself over my dick and thought about what she was about to do first.

“Is this going to hurt?” She asked.

“Not unless you stick it in your eye.” I replied.

“Why would I do that? Whatever, The Great and Powerful Trixie will be the best at whatever this is called!” She said, beaming with confidence.

“Actually it’s called a blo- ah... Never mind.” I said as the warm, and wet sensations of her tongue and mouth embraced my cock. It’s been too long since I’ve felt this. She held her head there, clearly confused on what to do next.

“Move your head back and forth.” I said.

She did just that, moving her head in a slow rhythmic fashion. At least she knows not to bite down, that would be terrible.

“Try moving your tongue along it too.” I instruct again, and again she takes my advice.

All the sensations are driving me close to the point of no return. Should I tell what happens next, or should I let it be a surprise? Last time she got surprised she jumped. Oh God, that’s just painful to even think about.

“I’m close to-” Before I could get that out a loud *BANG* along with other similar noises of destruction followed. Oh God, now what the fuck is happening?

Trixie quickly removed her head from my cock, and jumped back. Thank God there was no teeth contact.

“What in Celestia's name was that?” She asked.

“I have no fucking clue, but something tells me more of my shit probably got fucked up.” I said.

“Where did the noise come from?” She asked.

“Probably downstairs, or ground zero as it’s starting to become.” I replied. “I guess I’ll go check it out.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will come with you!” She shouted.

“Sure, why not.” I said. “If we die, at least I had one good day.” I said.

I made my way down the stairs of my basement. I heard a weird noise that sounded almost like electricity, and... something else. After making my way down the second set of stairs I looked to the entertainment center.

“MOTHER FUCKER!” I screamed. I looked at the remains of my PlayStation 2.

“Why must the good systems die? Why couldn’t it of been the Wii?” I asked.

“YOU!” Trixie suddenly shouted.

I turned around, and saw... I saw... a big fucking hole that had a purple pony inside of it. It almost reminded me of the Stargate wormhole, only instead of blue background, it had a cartoony setting. The purple pony, that also looked very cartoony, was staring at Trixie with a worried look on her face. They seemed to be arguing about something. Women.

“You embarrassed me!” Trixie shouted. “You made me the laughing stock of Ponyville, and now you say you’re here to rescue me?! I think NOT!”

“You don’t belong here!” The purple pony said. What the fucking fuck. Did that fucking pony form a sentence, and then present it in perfect English. Drugs, somehow drugs. I don’t know how drugs, but drugs.

“At least here people respect The Great and Powerful Trixie!” She shouted. “Well he does at least!” She said, pointing to me.

“You said you could defeat one of the most powerful beasts in Equestria! The whole town would of been destroyed if I wouldn’t of done something. You brought that upon yourself Trixie! Now come back to Equestria, you don’t belong here!” She said, trying her hardest to convince Trixie to come back to wherever the fuck they’re from.

“No! The Great and Powerful Trixie has decided to stay with Matt! He... Well I don’t know how he feels about me, but I know I feel safe with him. I don’t feel the need to be as arrogant around him, I feel safe!” She shouted.

Trixie picked up a controller from the couch and threw it at the purple unicorns head.

*SMACK*

And with that, the Purple Unicorn was set off balance, and then fell out of the wormhole. As soon as her whole body fell through the hole, a great light enveloped the room, and a loud boom sounded all throughout the house. A energy bolt darted out from the source of the light and hit the entertainment center.

After the light died down, I unshielded my eyes and looked behind me, to see my entertainment center in ruins.

“WHY?! WHY GOD WHY?! WHY MUST EVERYTHING I LOVE BURN!?” I shouted.

I turned to see Trixie had been knocked out by... something. And that there was now a woman with purple hair laying on her back. Just like when Trixie first appear, she was also naked.

“So I traded an entertainment system for two hot naked chicks.” I said. “Nope. Still sad.”

Chapter 6: Wake up! Grab a Brush and put on a little Hatred

“What to do, what to do, what to do...” I said. They are both pretty knocked out. I could probably fuck both of them and they wouldn’t even... NO. Bad penis! Bad! You do not need to rape! Well it’s easy to tell that they actually aren’t from this world. I guess they are from Ponyville, or whatever the fuck it’s called. Huh, who’d a thought that I would be housing two beings from another dimension... or world... or whatever you want to call it. Two girls... that means threesome. Well maybe, they seemed to be fighting about stupid shit that women seem to fight about. Gotta get them to make up, THEN the fucking will start.

I made my way over to the new girl in town, or world, however you want to put it. One arm was over her face, and another was over her chest. Do I move her? I would set her on one of the two couches down here but it seems they are burnt to a fucking crisp. I will have to drag her upstairs... or wait until she wakes up. Or I could take a nap. That actually sounds better. Ugh, but I guess I should put her on something so when she does wake up her back doesn’t hurt.

I slowly, but surely dragged purple haired girl up the stairs, her head would occasionally bump one of the stairs on the way up, she can deal with it. I never asked for this. After getting her into the kitchen, I continued to drag her past the computer, and then into the living room. I put her on the couch closest to the wall, because it was the longest of the couches in the living room, and she seemed to be taller than Trixie. But other than that, the breast, skin color, and curves all matched. She was a bit paler though. I don’t know why, but all the girls that enter into this world become model like in appearance. I guess God is real.

I slowly made my way down the stairs again to gather Trixie, maybe she will be awake. I’m not completely week, but dragging bodies is something I can say I’ve never done before in my life, and I’m tired as fuck. Sadly she was still in the same spot she was when the light blinded her, and knocked her out. Weird, she seemed to appear and instantly be awake when she arrived, why are they knocked out now? I guess that’s something I’ll never know.

I glanced over at my ruined gaming systems and shuttered to myself. So fucking mad. Whoever caused this is going to fucking pay. It’s nice having some ass around the house, but at the cost of entertainment that has no way of giving you STD’s? Nope, not a fair trade.

I dragged Trixie up the stairs in similar manner that I did with Twilight, her head hit a few less steps, but still, not too much damage done. I again rounded the corner that my computer was stationed by, and went into the living room. The purple haired girl laid right where I left her. I lifted Trixie onto the other couch across from the one that the purple haired girl laid on. God, what the fuck is her name? I guess I’ll ask her when she wakes up.

I made my way down the hall. First door to my right was my room, first door to the left was the bathroom, second door on the right was my parents room, and across from me was the guest bedroom. I guess that’s where the girls will be staying, no need to rush them into bed with me. I’ll let them get there on their own. I went into my bedroom and slowly got undressed. It was now 10 at night. I had been up for over a day. I’m going to enjoy this sleep. My dreams consisted of a Nintendo 64 burning in a dark room, while a PlayStation 2 flew in front of me, slowly flying into the darkness.

I woke up a few hours later, at three in the morning. I heard the sounds of creaking and assumed someone had woken up. The footsteps had gotten close to my room, and I had forgotten to close my door, so whoever was up walked straight into my room. But something tells me they wouldn’t of cared if the door was close, or not. I was laying on my back, and decided to pretend to be asleep. I’m sure it’s the new girl, something tells me if Trixie would've woken up she would have tried to kill the new girl. They seem to hate each other, or well, Trixie seems to hate the other one. The footsteps stopped at the side of my bed, just over my face. I kept my eyes shut just because I wanted to see what she was going to do. To my surprise she started to raise my sheets. Maybe this is Trixie, better wait it out a bit longer, just to see if anything interesting happens.

“Darn! I can’t see with no light on. This could be my only chance to study this new life form!” I heard her whisper. Nope, not Trixie, she already studied me.

Study? What the fuck is she, a scientist or something? This seems like a horrible time to study something anyway. For all she knows I could be planning on brutally murdering her.

Her hands moved to my face, she lightly touched my forehead and moved down to my throat. She was mumbling something about my bone structure. She does know that she looks just like me right? Maybe she just wants to study a male... this could get interesting. Her hands continued down my stomach and stopped right at my underwear line. She seemed confused by this.

“They seem to wear clothing to cover what I’m assuming they consider their private parts. Maybe I should try to find some clothing also.” She thought out loud.

NO! Bad idea. Don’t do it!

“On second thought, it would be rude to just take clothes, and I can’t seem to spot them anyway.” She decided.

Thank God she has manners, well she is touching me when she thinks I’m asleep, but I have no complaints. She moves to the edge of my bed and sits down. Apparently in deep thought.

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now.” She said.

“Damn, you’re good.” I said.

“Glad you aren’t as hostile as Trixie is. I hope she doesn’t wake up as angry as she was when we got knocked out.” She said.

“She probably will.” I said, not really knowing how to start a conversation with this being from another world. “So... what’s your name?” I asked.

“Twilight. Twilight Sparkle.” She said.

“Oh... that’s an... interesting name.” I said, trying not to laugh.

“What’s yours?” She asked.

“Matthew, or Matt for short.” I said.

“So Matthew, care to tell me where I am?” She asked.

“Earth.” I simply replied.

Twilight just seemed to sit for awhile, clearly deep in thought. She probably had so many questions, she didn’t know where to start.

“Well... I guess I should let you go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.” She said, sounding kind of embarrassed. “Sorry for touching you. I didn’t mean to wake you, I was just curious I suppose.” She said, then left the room.

Well that was odd. I rolled over on my side and tried to slip back into sleep. It was a little bit harder this time, but it did finally come. My dreams returned to that of destroyed dreams, and sex.

I woke up to the sounds of yelling. The voice yelling belonged to Trixie. Something about ruining her life or some shit. God, what time is it? I turned to my digital clock and the big red numbers read 9:30. Fuck, couldn’t they have just had makeup sex? I guess I better get up. I made my way out of bed, put on a shirt, jeans, and walked into the hallway. The fight seemed to be taking place in the living room, and now Twilight was yelling back at Trixie. They really seem to fucking hate each other.

“Why don’t you just leave! I don’t want you here!” Trixie screamed.

“Maybe if you wouldn’t of thrown something at me, I wouldn’t be here!” Twilight screamed back.

“Well if you would have just let me stay in this world, instead of trying to get me to come back to your world, you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!” Trixie screamed.

“Good morning. It seems you two are getting along nicely.” I said as I made my way into the living room. I took a seat on the couch closest to Trixie.

“MAKE HER STOP YELLING AT ME!” They both screamed at me.

“Why don’t you both just solve your differences peacefully and talk through things through in a calm manner.” I said.

“No!” Trixie yelled. “I despise her!” Trixie said.

“I find her attitude shallow, and hateful.” Twilight said.

Well, at least they are still naked or this wouldn’t be as fun as it is. How the fuck can I get them to stop arguing so fucking much?

“Why do you two hate each other so much again?” I asked.

“She!” Said Trixie as she pointed an accusing finger at Twilight. “Has ruined my life!” She shouted.

“Can you get a little more descriptive?” I asked.

“She upstaged me...” Trixie whispered, barely audible.

“What?” I asked.

“Trixie said she could do certain things involving magic that she couldn’t.” Twilight said. “She also said she could defeat a certain beast that lives in the forest, that again, she couldn’t.” Twilight finished.

“I could too!” Trixie shouted back.

Twilight gave her a ‘you gotta be fucking kidding me’ glance, and Trixie’s cheeks burned bright red. So little old Trixie isn’t as powerful as she proclaimed herself to be. Color me surprised.

Suddenly it hit me. This was easy to fix, or at least the solution seemed okay to me.

“So you guys are pissed off at each other because one could perform magic better than the other?” I asked.

Trixie’s head bowed in shame.

“Well, there is no magic in this world. There aren’t any big monstrous beasts in this world either. Well none that could destroy an entire town.” I said.

“So..” Twilight said, starting to get the idea.

“You guys are on equal footing. None of you can perform magic, and none of you could possibly defeat a monstrous beast. Problem solved, who wants breakfast?” I finished.

Trixie still looked sad, after being caught in a lie, but she seemed to brighten up a little.

“I know how to prove who is better.” Trixie said, with a devilish smile on her face.

Oh God, now what.

“What?” Twilight asked suddenly intrigued. Twilight doesn’t seem like the competitive one, but this seemed to get her attention.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie offers a wager.” She said, power and might returning to her voice.

“Oh Celestia. Are you still talking to yourself in the third person?” Twilight asked.

“The wager The Great and Powerful Trixie is offering is a simple one.” Trixie said. “Who can perform the best at sex?” She finished.

I like where this is going.

Chapter 7: Exploding/Reloading

“Sex?” Twilight asked. “What’s sex?”

“Oh God, not this again.” I said.

“Sex is something The Great and Powerful Trixie is more than efficient at.” She said.

“Efficient? That’s an interesting choice of words.” I said

“That still doesn’t explain what sex is...” Twilight said.

“Sex is... well... it’s sex. I can’t believe you don’t know what sex is.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks she should demonstrate for her.” Trixie said.

“Well that sounds fun, but I could always explain it to her.” I said, thinking of the right words.

“Do you have a book of it?” Twilight asked.

“You would ask for a book wouldn’t you?” Trixie asked.

“What’s wrong with books? I think books are the greatest tools-” Twilight was saying.

“Okay we get it!” Trixie shouted. “Well Matt, do you care to explain now?” Trixie said.

“You two should just fuck and get it over with.” I muttered.

“What was that?” Twilight asked.

“Nothing.” I quickly said. “Well sex is like... it’s kind of... ugh.” I ended. “Sex is putting your penis into a woman's vagina.” I said.

“What’s a vagina?” Trixie asked.

“I thought you were the master at sex. Shouldn’t you know what a vagina is?” Twilight asked, with a hint of malice in her voice.

“I said I was efficient. Not a master. It doesn’t matter what word I use, all that matters is that The Great and Powerful Trixie will still be better at it than you will ever be.” Trixie said, sticking her tongue out at Twilight. It’s like they are five, but have the bodies of super hot chicks.

“So what is a penis, and what is a vagina?” Twilight asked.

I was just about to answer, before Trixie pulled down my pants, along with my underwear.

“This is a dick.” Trixie said, pointing at mine.

“Oh great, now I’ve become a living diagram.” I muttered.

“You put it in your mouth, or pussy.” Trixie said.

“What’s a pussy?” Asked Twilight.

“It’s a vagina.” I said.

“I thought a pussy was a pussy?” Trixie asked.

“I think I’ll go back to being the diagram.” I said not wanting to continue this circle of confusion.

“Okay Twilight, do you understand?” Trixie asked.

“Not really. I think I need a little bit more tutoring.” Twilight said.

“Okay, this is what the sucking would look like.” Trixie said.

Trixie immediately put her lips to my cock and started to lick the tip. She licked it like a lollipop at first, then moved her tongue around in a circular pattern around the tip before taking half of my length in her mouth. While I was in her mouth she took my previous advice and continued to move her tongue around my member while it was soaking in her warm mouth. I glanced over at Twilight who was staring with great intensity. She had a look of embarrassment on her face. I could understand that.

I must say, Trixie is a faster learner. She might actually beat Twilight. It will be close. Speaking of close, I need to tell Trixie to calm down or else this competition will be delayed.

“Hey, uh Trixie. You might wanna stop now.” I said.

She quickly took her mouth of my raging member and looked at me with questioning eyes.

“Why?” She simply asked.

“There is only so much pleasure I can take before I... you know... blow.” I said.

“Blow? What do you mean, does your dick explode if I give it too much pleasure?” She asked.

“Well, in a matter of speaking...” I said.

“That sounds horrible. Why would you engage in such an act if part of your body suffered from it?” Twilight asked, suddenly horrified.

“No, you have the wrong idea!” I said. “I mean that if you continue to provide me with pleasure, I’m going to have an orgasm.” I said. Oh wait, they probably have no idea what a-

“What’s an orgasm?” They both asked at once.

“For me, it’s when I release white liquid out of my dick.” I said.

“Where does it go?” Asked Trixie.

“... Anywhere I guess.” I said.

“Even in my pussy?” Trixie asked.

“Anywhere but there.” I corrected. I do not need mini Trixies running around.

“Okay, so is this all there is to this sex thing?” Twilight asked. “Because if so, it doesn’t seem that hard. I’m sure even a child could do it.”

“Pedophile.” I said.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Nothing... “ I said.

Twilight then moved Trixie out of the way, and positioned herself in front of my still raging member. Trixie was clearly not too happy about what Twilight had just done.

“What in Celestia’s name do you think you are doing!” Trixie shouted.

“What? I’m going to attempt to do the same thing you just did. Are you suggesting that I’m not aloud to practice? If so, I do believe this competition is unfair.” Twilight finished. “And besides.” Twilight added. “What do I get if I win this competition?” Twilight asked.

“Hm.” Trixie said. Clearly trying hard to think of something to punish Twilight with if she loses. “Whoever wins gets to order the other one around.” Trixie said.

“You mean like a slave?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah. Like a slave.” Trixie said.

“How are you going to know who won?” I asked. This should be interesting. I wonder how they will treat each other when one of them is a slave...

“Well, since you said that when you feel pleasure your dick will expel a liquid. It would only be logical to assume that whoever makes you expel said liquid first, will be dubbed the winner.” Twilight explained.

“Sounds good.” I said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie agrees.” Trixie said.

“How about you just do blowjobs.” I said. “I don’t think I can go through the full nine yards twice in a short amount of time.”

“Fine. So do we agree on the conditions?” Trixie asked.

“Yes. I think we do.” Twilight said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will allow you to go first, seeing as we might as well get the longer act out first.” Trixie said.

“I think you should save your insults until the end.” Twilight said.

We waited until the clock hit 10, and then Twilight began the start of the competition.

Twilight gazed at my dick, not sure how to approach the situation. She finally decided to give it a tentative lick. After a few of said licks, she seemed to copy Trixie’s demonstration and swirled her tongue around the head of my cock. She then put the half of my members length into her mouth and moved her head back and forth, while still moving her tongue around on my member. It would seem they are both fast learners, but clearly Twilight was the faster learner. She quickened her speed and within minutes, I was on the brink.

“I-I-I’m going to cum!” I shouted.

“What’s cum?” Trixie asked. Clearly confused.

She soon found out. I released into Twilight mouth. She didn’t gag, nor tear up. Which makes me think that she has undoubtedly done this type of thing before. I guess theses girls aren’t as innocent as I previously thought.

“Did you orgasm?” Twilight asked with a knowing smile. Yeah, she has done this before. But I’ll play along.

“Yeah.” I said. I was panting heavily. I looked at the clock, it read 10:01. Jesus Christ. I don’t know rather to be embarrassed, or thankful that I someone like her in this house.

While I was ‘reloading’ so to speak. Trixie pushed me on the couch, and grabbed my dick. She quickly started giving me one of the roughest hand-jobs I had ever been given. I was going to inform her that I would need time to rest before I could get hard again, but something tells me she wouldn’t listen to my advice. To my surprise I instantly became hard. Again, thank God for being 18. She quickly put me in her mouth, after noticing that I was rock hard again. She then quickly began to bob her head up and down at a rather disturbingly fast speed. Still, my body could only reload as fast as it could. No matter how fast she bobbed, licked, and slurped, it still wouldn’t help the fact that I wasn’t given ample time to recover.

Eventually I did reach the brink, and again, I did cum. Trixie, unlike Twilight, gagged a little and spit out the milky white substance. We all glanced at the clock and it read 10:04. She had lost.

“That can’t be!” Trixie shouted. Upset at her loss.

Twilight squealed with delight. Apparently winning is more important to her than she seemed to have let on.

Trixie sat on the couch beside me with a defeated look across her face. She must not be use to losing, because she was not taking this lightly.

“I think you cheated.” Trixie said finally. “The Great and Powerful Trixie knows that she had the upper hand!”

“Results don’t lie Trixie. I thought you would have learned that by now. I think while I’m stuck here, I’m going to teach you to value friendship. I might be away from my friends, and Celestia, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue my studies!” Twilight said.

Well that sounds horrible. I already feel sorry for Trixie.

“Well, you two have fun with that. I’m going to go find something to eat.” I said as I made my way to the kitchen.

Just as I reached the kitchen I heard the door frame shatter as someone must have broken it down. Followed by a voice that I instantly recognized.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE DOWN!” That same cop from yesterday shouted.

Small town police are the worst.

I glanced to the entrance of the house, seeing as both the kitchen, and my front door were so close. The cop instantly ran to me, putting me on the ground in a matter of seconds, while forcing cuffs on me.

God help me.

Chapter 8: Twilight's Breast Save The Day

So handcuffs are not comfortable. How people find this shit kinky is beyond me. Although I’m sure most people who are into this, don’t have a fat, smelly, and downright annoying police officer on them shouting obscenities in their face. I wonder how he will react when the hot naked women enter the fray.

“YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NOT PISS ME OFF YOU PRICK!” The cop shouted in my face.

“I don’t think that’s how you properly read me my rights.” I said.

“DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOUR DAY WORSE?” He asked.

“On second thought, I don’t know much about the law.” I quickly replied.

“Good. Now would you like to explain to me why I have received another noise complaint?” The officer asked in a semi calm tone. Fucking bipolar.

Before I could come up with a bullshit answer Twilight came into the kitchen, not making an effort to cover herself in the least.

“What are you doing to him!?” Twilight asked, clearly frightened.

“I-I... uh... you..” He stammered on, unable to come to terms with the nude women in front of him.

“You sure have no fucking clue how to talk to women. I think I know why you are always angry.” I said. Seeing as I wasn’t met with a hard hitting punch to the head, I’ll assume he didn’t hear me, or was too busy enjoying the tits and ass in front of him.

“Are you going to answer my question, or just continue to stare at me. Well your eyes aren’t really on my face, they seem to be centered on my pussy. Isn’t that what you call it Matt?” Twilight asked.

I was about ready to respond, but the police officer found his voice finally.

“I”m sorry to disturb you.” He said, his voice still shaky. “I-I didn’t mean to intrude upon you like this.” I guess he becomes more formal when girls show tits. Well, I guess I can’t really blame him.

“Hey asshole, as much as I love having your fucking body mass on me, I’m starting to feel my spine breaking.” I said.

Surprisingly he got up extremely fast. He straightened out his police uniform.

“Hey Twilight.” I said.

“Huh?” She asked, still studying his uniform, and weapons that she probably had no clue about.

“You think you want to go in my room and put on some clothes?” I asked, not feeling comfortable with Officer Bad Touch eying her.

“Yeah...sure.” She said, her eyes still glued to the policeman. She slowly made her way down the hall, and into my room.

“So, I’ll ask again. Why have I received another noise complaint against you?” He asked.

I decided that I should at least make up a semi believable story, knowing that he clearly won’t believe the truth.

“Well Officer, it would seem that I underestimated my stereo system.” I said, showing him into the front room. I prayed that Trixie had left. As I entered the room I noticed a clear lack of tits and ass. So far so good.

“This is probably the reason for the complaints.” I said pointing at the old, but nice system. I hope he believes that two large amps could generate such noise.

“Ah. Well as much as you teenagers love your horribly loud music, I’m going to have to give you your last warning.” He said. What the fuck? Is he really only being nice to me because he saw Twilight?

“I’m only giving you this final warning because of whatever her name was.” He said.

Well, that’s fucking perverted, but I’ll take it.

“Nice to see Twilight breasts are good for more than one reason.” I said.

“Twilight? Fucking weird ass name. Good body, gotta give her that.” He said. “Just answer this one last thing, and I’ll be on my way.”

“Gladly.” I said

“How did someone that looks like... well you.” He said pointing his finger at my face. “Get a girl like that?” He asked.

“Believe it or not, I found her on one of those shitty porn dating site advertisements. You actually have to download everything it recommends for it to work and get you laid.” I said.

“No shit?” He asked, deep in thought. “Well don’t let me get another complaint against you. Her tits won’t be able to save you then.” He said and walked out of the house.

Well that could have gone worse. Still I’m sure him busting through my fucking door like that was clearly violating every law made, but I’ll let it slide seeing as I didn’t get thrown in jail. Still, if one more of them fucking show up, I’m going to a hotel for a few days.

I went to the shattered door. Shit. I forgot he completely fucked my shit up. Thankfully I still have a screen door that locks. Although not very well, it should do the trick. There aren’t many criminals in this part of Kansas. It seems that the cops do more fucking damage than they let on. I went back to the living room and sat down for a second, trying to calm down from the events that just took place. I can’t remember the last time something this stupid took place in this house. Also, I guess I learned that my neighbors are fucking assholes. A few seconds of a loud sound, and they call the police. I bet if I lived in the ghetto this wouldn’t happen. Although it would be annoying dealing with constant gunfire.

“I REFUSE!” I heard Trixie scream from my room. I guess she followed Twilight into my room while Officer Mcfaggot was having his conversation with me.

I slowly sat up and made my way down the hall, and then into my small room. I saw a still naked Twilight, with a still naked Trixie facing each other. It looked like Trixie was about ready to try out her fists, while Twilight had her hands in a defensive position.

“Whoa, claws down girls. What’s happening?” I asked.

“She is trying to control me!” Trixie shouted.

“That was the bet wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes it was. Now come on Trixie. I thought you were a mare of your word.” Twilight said, lowering her hands.

“I have a better idea.” Trixie said.

“What would that be?” Twilight asked.

“Double, or nothing.” Trixie said flatly. “We will go again, and whoever wins gets to tell the other two what to do.” Trixie said.

“Interesting...” Twilight said, eyes lighting up.

“What? How is that even fair? I have no way to win, and besides, you can’t go back on a deal.” I said.

“How about if whoever pleasures the other two the most, wins control over them?” Twilight said.

“I like this deal.” Trixie said, a devilish grin now on her face.

“Fuck it. Not like I have anything better to do.” I said. It was then at that moment, that my doorbell rang. My stomach dropped, and my blood ran cold. I’ve had bad luck with visitors.

“I guess I’ll get that. If it’s the same fucking guy. I’m going to need you two to run to the door, and start making out.” I said.

“What?!” They both asked at once.

“Don’t question it! It’s the only way! Trust me.” I said making my way to my door, scratch that, to my screen door. Fucking asshole cop.

I noticed that it wasn’t the cop. It was someone far worse. It was the single most horrible person that could be showing up at this time. It was John, the annoying kid from school I thought I had escaped seeing as though I graduate. I had always joked with my friends that he was like cancer, and would follow you around everywhere, no matter the place. I guess I was right. He had the personality of a cocky piece of shit who thought that no matter the subject, or discussion, would always act like he knew more about it than anyone. He would always act like the smart one in any situation, even though he normally wasn’t. And to top it all off, he post annoying pictures on Facebook.

“Hey Matthew!” He said, clearly faking his smile.

“What the fuck do you want John?” I asked. Maybe if I act like an asshole, he will leave me alone. That normally always works.

“Ha! Always with the sarcasm right?” He said, laughing at his own attempt of a joke.

“It’s not so much sarcasm, as much as anger.” I said.

“Well, I came to give you the good news!” He said, ignoring my previous statement.

“You are dying of a horrible brain tumor and will be deceased shortly?” I asked.

“HA! No, of course not! I’ve moving into that empty house across the street from you! Well actually I’m just about to move in, my parents have been there for a week now, I’m just getting back from visiting my friends.” He said.

Wow he has friends, who would have fucking thought.

“My parents said they had to call the police TWICE on some guy who was blasting this horrible music.” He said.

That explains everything. Annoying parents, and annoying child. It’s like they have gone full circle. At least now I know who’s house to egg. I heard walking behind me. Oh God no, not now.

“WOW! Who are they?!” John asked. Oh fuck me.

I turned around to see the faces of Trixie, and Twilight staring at John. Again, with no cloths, and again, making no attempt to cover themselves.

“Hi! I”m Twilight, nice to meet you! What’s your name?” She asked.

Oh fuck me.

Chapter 9: Uninvited Guest

John now formed a horribly perverted smile on his face that made me want to strangle him with my belt. Sadly I didn’t have a belt. Trixie seemed to read him very well. Seeing as she started to back off a bit. Twilight on the other hand... Well something tells me she doesn’t read into smiles very well.

“Hey girls. Want to come back to my place?” He asked.

“Are you fucking serious?” I asked. “You come over here and annoy the shit out of me, then try to pick up girls from my house?”

“Aren’t you tired of this douche bag? Don’t you want to come over to a real mans house?” John said.

“How the fuck are you a real man if you still live with your parents?” I asked.

“You do too dumb ass!” He shouted.

“Yes, but I have two naked girls in my house. I think that makes up for it.” I said.

“That doesn’t make up for shit! I’ll assume you payed for them!” He shouted back at me.

“Wait, what does he mean paid for us?” Twilight ask, no longer seeming so warm to him.

“Smooth. Explain that dipshit.” I said.

“Well, aren’t you girls hookers?” He asked.

“Hookers?” Twilight asked. “What the are hookers?”

“Girls that you pay to fuck.” I said.

“That sounds horrible!” Twilight shouted.

Trixie appeared from behind the corner. “I will not be talked to in such a manner! I suggest that you leave. We have a contest to be starting!” Trixie said.

“A contest?” John asked.

“Yes, and you’re interrupting it. Now fuck off.” I said.

“What’s the contest, I bet I could win it!” John shouted as I was pushing him out of the door frame.

“I doubt that. First of all you would have to have a dick.” I said.

“Now I’m staying!” He shouted, as he pushed me down. Fuck that hurt.

I quickly stood up. Me and my big fucking mouth. It’s just so hard to pass up moments to hurt his ego. Damn, how do I get him to leave? He is an asshole, but a tough asshole.

“Now I’m scared. Do something Matt!” Trixie shouted.

“Ugh. John, seriously, fuck off.” I said.

“No, tell me about the contest then maybe I’ll leave.” John said.

“It’s about who is the biggest faggot. Congrats, you won.” I said.

“One more comment like that, and I’ll kick your ass.” John said.

“Don’t threaten my Matt!” Trixie shouted.

Aw, she cares. That’s cute. Now I really have to do something!

“‘Your Matt’? So you guys really are doing something. I want in on it. Give me one, you have two hot girls, be a pal and share.” John said.

Well this isn’t good. Annoying piece of shit in my house. I have no way to get him out. Wants to take a girl away, and smells pretty terrible. If only there was like a number to call for assistance... oh yeah, I forgot. Maybe I’ll get lucky and that one asshole cop will get sent here and beat the shit out of him. Now to get him away in order to place the call.

“Let me discuss it with the girls, in my basement, away from you. Oh, and don’t fucking touch anything.” I said.

“What!” Trixie and Twilight both shouted.

“Trust me” I whispered.

We made our way downstairs and I told them the plan, and how I needed them to distract him while I placed the call.

“So are you sure calling the police is the best idea? What if that one violent person shows up?” Twilight asked

“That’s what I’m counting on. You know he has to be dying for something like this. So you both just go upstairs and distract him. Hit on him, and do what you gotta do.” I said.

“Are you really using us like this?” Trixie asked. “I for one, am not to be used in such a manner!” Trixie shouted.

“It’s either this, or I have to give one of you away.” I said.

“Fine with me. Twilight, it hasn’t been a pleasure.” Trixie said turning to Twilight.

“Ugh, come on!” Twilight said, dragging Trixie up the stairs.

I picked up the phone, and dialed 911. I got connect relatively fast and explained my emergency.

“Okay sir, we will be sending a unit there as fast as possible, please remain calm and do not anger him if at all possible.” The operator said. “Would you like me to remain on the line?”

“No, this is good. I doubt he is going to be a problem. He is kind of fucking stupid.” I said

“Uh... okay sir.” She said, then I hung up.

I made my way upstairs and heard Trixie shouting. This doesn’t surprise me.

“Get off me you mongrel! Unhand the fair Trixie!.” Trixie shouted.

“Trixie? You talk in the third person? Wait, that name sounds familiar.” John said.

Oh come on! Please don’t tell me...

“Oh my God! Are you Trixie from My Little Pony?!” John asked.

“My Little Pony?” Twilight asked. “What is that?” Twilight asked, clearly confused.

“You should know! You both are clearly from it, aren’t you Twilight?” John said. Fuck, he put two and two together. Who knew he was capable of complex thought?

“You know my name?!” Twilight asked, shocked. “Explain yourself!” She demanded, clearly freaked out by the whole situation.

“You’re from a TV show about magical ponies. You guys are practically famous!” John said.

“TV show?” Trixie asked. “Wait, like those horrible reality shows that Matt showed me?”

“Reality? No way, you guys are a cartoon, fiction.” John said.

I was speechless. I clearly didn’t want them to know this. Who would want to find out that they aren’t real? Damn it John! Maybe they won’t freak out.

“We... aren’t real?” Twilight asked.

“Fiction? It can’t...” Trixie said, depression sinking into her voice.

They both realized I was present, and turned to me. It felt like the sadness was leaking from their skin. Demoralized they both looked defeated.

“Did you know?” Twilight asked.

“I... uh...” I was stuttering, trying to find the proper words.

“It’s yes or no. Did you know?” Twilight asked, anger now filled her voice.

I closed my eyes, and then finally answered. “Uh... yeah. Yeah, I knew.” I said.

Silence. This isn’t fucking good.

“You can tell why I didn’t want to tell you right! I didn’t want this to happen! It’s not like it matters anyway. You’re real in this world aren’t you? Who cares if your world doesn’t exist? Right?” I asked, trying my hardest to fix the situation, but obviously failing.

“Who cares? WHO CARES?!” Twilight shouted. “I do Matthew. I care that everything I’ve known isn’t real. I care that everything I worked for doesn’t even count. Was it even my doing? Or was it some writer who made me who I am? How can I even have a sense of self when my personality was probably written by someone else? Do you even know what it’s like!?” Twilight shouted as she shot her hate filled questions at me. “I don’t think you can even imagine that!”

Trixie just simply walked down the hall and went into a room. Just as upset as Twilight, but probably too angry for words. Twilight eventually walked away also, following in Trixies steps she went into the same room, and closed the door.

“So which one do I get?” John asked, finally asking something.

Before I could break his skull open the door opened and a police officer came through, gun drawn, and aimed right at John.

“Hands above your head, now!” He demanded. He wasn’t the same cop that I had been making trouble around here before.

“I.. what!” John shouted, in disbelief.

The police officer walked to him, and handcuffed him. John was still in disbelief even as he was being taken away. After the police officer put him in the car, he came back in to talk to me. He had me fill out a report over what had happened.

“Do you want to press charges?” He asked.

I thought about it. “No, just get him out of here.” I said.

“Alright sir.” The police officer said, and made his way out.

I could hear crying from the room Twilight and Trixie had entered. The best thing to do is to probably let them have their space. I don’t want to completely fuck up. I made my way to the couch that I was near and just layed down. What am I going to do about this?