Chapter 8: Twilight's Breast Save The Day

So handcuffs are not comfortable.  How people find this shit kinky is beyond me.  Although I’m sure most people who are into this, don’t have a fat, smelly, and downright annoying police officer on them shouting obscenities in their face.  I wonder how he will react when the hot naked women enter the fray.

        “YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NOT PISS ME OFF YOU PRICK!”  The cop shouted in my face.

        “I don’t think that’s how you properly read me my rights.”  I said.

        “DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOUR DAY WORSE?”  He asked.

        “On second thought, I don’t know much about the law.”  I quickly replied.

        “Good.  Now would you like to explain to me why I have received another noise complaint?”  The officer asked in a semi calm tone.  Fucking bipolar.

Before I could come up with a bullshit answer Twilight came into the kitchen, not making an effort to cover herself in the least.

        “What are you doing to him!?”  Twilight asked, clearly frightened.

        “I-I... uh... you..”  He stammered on, unable to come to terms with the nude women in front of him.

        “You sure have no fucking clue how to talk to women.  I think I know why you are always angry.”  I said.  Seeing as I wasn’t met with a hard hitting punch to the head, I’ll assume he didn’t hear me, or was too busy enjoying the tits and ass in front of him.

        “Are you going to answer my question, or just continue to stare at me.  Well your eyes aren’t really on my face, they seem to be centered on my pussy.  Isn’t that what you call it Matt?”  Twilight asked.

        I was about ready to respond, but the police officer found his voice finally.

        “I”m sorry to disturb you.”  He said, his voice still shaky.  “I-I didn’t mean to intrude upon you like this.”  I guess he becomes more formal when girls show tits.  Well, I guess I can’t really blame him.

        “Hey asshole, as much as I love having your fucking body mass on me, I’m starting to feel my spine breaking.”  I said.

        Surprisingly he got up extremely fast.  He straightened out his police uniform.

        “Hey Twilight.”  I said.

        “Huh?”  She asked, still studying his uniform, and weapons that she probably had no clue about.

        “You think you want to go in my room and put on some clothes?”  I asked, not feeling comfortable with Officer Bad Touch eying her.

        “Yeah...sure.”  She said, her eyes still glued to the policeman.  She slowly made her way down the hall, and into my room.

        “So, I’ll ask again.  Why have I received another noise complaint against you?”  He asked.

        I decided that I should at least make up a semi believable story, knowing that he clearly won’t believe the truth.

        “Well Officer, it would seem that I underestimated my stereo system.”  I said, showing him into the front room.  I prayed that Trixie had left.  As I entered the room I noticed a clear lack of tits and ass.  So far so good.

        “This is probably the reason for the complaints.”  I said pointing at the old, but nice system.  I hope he believes that two large amps could generate such noise.

        “Ah.  Well as much as you teenagers love your horribly loud music, I’m going to have to give you your last warning.”  He said.  What the fuck?  Is he really only being nice to me because he saw Twilight?

        “I’m only giving you this final warning because of whatever her name was.”  He said.

        Well, that’s fucking perverted, but I’ll take it.

        “Nice to see Twilight breasts are good for more than one reason.”  I said.

        “Twilight?  Fucking weird ass name.  Good body, gotta give her that.”  He said.  “Just answer this one last thing, and I’ll be on my way.”

        “Gladly.”  I said

        “How did someone that looks like... well you.”  He said pointing his finger at my face.  “Get a girl like that?”  He asked.

        “Believe it or not, I found her on one of those shitty porn dating site advertisements.  You actually have to download everything it recommends for it to work and get you laid.”  I said.

        “No shit?”  He asked, deep in thought.  “Well don’t let me get another complaint against you.  Her tits won’t be able to save you then.”  He said and walked out of the house.

        Well that could have gone worse.  Still I’m sure him busting through my fucking door like that was clearly violating every law made, but I’ll let it slide seeing as I didn’t get thrown in jail.  Still, if one more of them fucking show up, I’m going to a hotel for a few days.

        I went to the shattered door.  Shit.  I forgot he completely fucked my shit up.  Thankfully I still have a screen door that locks.  Although not very well, it should do the trick.  There aren’t many criminals in this part of Kansas.  It seems that the cops do more fucking damage than they let on.  I went back to the living room and sat down for a second, trying to calm down from the events that just took place.  I can’t remember the last time something this stupid took place in this house.  Also, I guess I learned that my neighbors are fucking assholes.  A few seconds of a loud sound, and they call the police.  I bet if I lived in the ghetto this wouldn’t happen.  Although it would be annoying dealing with constant gunfire.

        “I REFUSE!”  I heard Trixie scream from my room.  I guess she followed Twilight into my room while Officer Mcfaggot was having his conversation with me.

        I slowly sat up and made my way down the hall, and then into my small room.  I saw a still naked Twilight, with a still naked Trixie facing each other.  It looked like Trixie was about ready to try out her fists, while Twilight had her hands in a defensive position.

        “Whoa, claws down girls.  What’s happening?”  I asked.

        “She is trying to control me!”  Trixie shouted.

        “That was the bet wasn’t it?”  I asked.

        “Yes it was.  Now come on Trixie.  I thought you were a mare of your word.”  Twilight said, lowering her hands.

        “I have a better idea.”  Trixie said.

        “What would that be?”  Twilight asked.

        “Double, or nothing.”  Trixie said flatly.  “We will go again, and whoever wins gets to tell the other two what to do.”  Trixie said.

        “Interesting...”  Twilight said, eyes lighting up.

        “What?  How is that even fair?  I have no way to win, and besides, you can’t go back on a deal.”  I said.

        “How about if whoever pleasures the other two the most, wins control over them?”  Twilight said.

        “I like this deal.”  Trixie said, a devilish grin now on her face.

        “Fuck it.  Not like I have anything better to do.”  I said.  It was then at that moment, that my doorbell rang.  My stomach dropped, and my blood ran cold.  I’ve had bad luck with visitors.

        “I guess I’ll get that.  If it’s the same fucking guy.  I’m going to need you two to run to the door, and start making out.”  I said.

        “What?!”  They both asked at once.

        “Don’t question it!  It’s the only way!  Trust me.”  I said making my way to my door, scratch that, to my screen door.  Fucking asshole cop.

        I noticed that it wasn’t the cop.  It was someone far worse.  It was the single most horrible person that could be showing up at this time.  It was John, the annoying kid from school I thought I had escaped seeing as though I graduate.  I had always joked with my friends that he was like cancer, and would follow you around everywhere, no matter the place.  I guess I was right.  He had the personality of a cocky piece of shit who thought that no matter the subject, or discussion, would always act like he knew more about it than anyone.  He would always act like the smart one in any situation, even though he normally wasn’t.  And to top it all off, he post annoying pictures on Facebook.

        “Hey Matthew!”  He said, clearly faking his smile.

        “What the fuck do you want John?”  I asked.  Maybe if I act like an asshole, he will leave me alone.  That normally always works.

        “Ha!  Always with the sarcasm right?”  He said, laughing at his own attempt of a joke.

        “It’s not so much sarcasm, as much as anger.”  I said.

        “Well, I came to give you the good news!”  He said, ignoring my previous statement.

        “You are dying of a horrible brain tumor and will be deceased shortly?”  I asked.

        “HA!  No, of course not!  I’ve moving into that empty house across the street from you!  Well actually I’m just about to move in, my parents have been there for a week now, I’m just getting back from visiting my friends.”  He said.

        Wow he has friends, who would have fucking thought.

“My parents said they had to call the police TWICE on some guy who was blasting this horrible music.”  He said.

That explains everything.  Annoying parents, and annoying child.  It’s like they have gone full circle.  At least now I know who’s house to egg.  I heard walking behind me.  Oh God no, not now.

“WOW!  Who are they?!”  John asked.  Oh fuck me.

I turned around to see the faces of Trixie, and Twilight staring at John.  Again, with no cloths, and again, making no attempt to cover themselves.

“Hi!  I”m Twilight, nice to meet you!  What’s your name?”  She asked.

Oh fuck me.