Chapters Prologue
It was an average day in the Mojave, the Fiends were shooting up caravans and the raiders were mutilating the corpses of their unfortunate victims, and a low humming sound could be heard in the area around Hoover Dam. In the Lucky 38 penthouse suite the Courier was was singing along to The Stranger With A Big Iron On His Hip whilst overseeing the regular patrols of the Securitron Mk.2s around The Strip. When a hologram suddenly appeared in front of him.
-----(Somewhere else)-----
Meanwhile Super Mutants were once again trying to attack the Purifier with the aide of some Nightkin who had wondered away from Nevada and stumbled across the Capital Wasteland and some of their Super Mutant brethren. Paladin Lancer was having a field day shooting mutants in the head with his Plasma Caster (which the Brotherhood had imported from New Vegas to help protect the citizens of the wastes from the Super Mutant threat that just wouldn't go away, no matter how many Mini Nukes they threw at it).
"They just never give up do they?" he asked the initiate next to him who was wielding a plasma rifle(not being given access to the level of armaments the paladin had due to his relatively low level of energy weapons skill).
"Well if they did then it would make our jobs just that bit less interesting wouldn't it, sir?" replied the initiate.
"You know the way to this mans heart don't you, initiate. But enough chit-chat we've got us some muties to kill".
"Sir yes, Sir" the initiate said as she liquified a super mutant charging the Paladins blind side.
"Close one, eh?"
"Close Enough for you to get some special treatment tonight." Replied the Capital Wastelands resident badass: The Lone Wanderer. The most beloved and feared person in the entirety of D.C. "Oh look, They brought out the Behemoths" she remarked as she readied Vengeance.
Suddenly the Super Mutant Behemoths were struck by several shells fired from the ruins behind them."THE TANKS HAVE ARRIVED MOTHA FUCKAS!" was blared out from loudspeakers as six tanks flanked by the strangest robots the initiate had ever seen emerged from the ruins behind the Super Mutant horde.
"Who the fuck are you?!" Yelled The Wanderer.
"Tank Commander Lucifer, Captain of Tank Battalion Seven. At your service!" he replied with a mock salute.
"Where are you from and how you do have tanks?" The Wanderer questioned as everyone else stared in awe at the technological marvels in front of them.
"Midwest chapter of the Brotherhood Of Steel. We were sent here under direction of The Warrior to track down The Lone Wanderer." he replied with a level of confidence that one can only have when commanding six tanks and twenty Gauss Mini gun wielding robots. "You seen her?"
"I am her."
"Oh good then that means we just have to mop up these mutants and get you on board theVertibird to New Vegas so we can meet up with the bulk of the force."
"What about the tanks?"
"Those are to be left here to provide reinforcements to the D.C chapter and as a show of good faith between us." he replied. she suddenly spoke into his radio and 10 APCs emerged from behind his force and deposited a mix of Deathclaws, robots and power armored Super mutants. "Here are some troops to help you bolster your numbers as well."
"W-WHY ARE THOSE SUPER MUTANTS WEARING POWER ARMOR?!?!" shouted The Wanderer as she and the rest of the defenders readied their weapons.
"Because they are part of the populace we protect and provide for." replied the Captain with a sigh. "Some people never see past their own goddamn bigotry" he added grumbling under his breath.
"Anyway could you please hop in my tank and we'll be off."
"Okay, but if those Mutants try anything I'm skinning you alive then feeding you into a wood chipper."
"Sure whatever you say."
-----(Somewhere else)-----
"So what you're proposing is that I allow you access to Big Mt so you can have a new place to research your technologies and have access to the brightest minds from before the Great War?" asked the Courier as the hologram in front of him nodded.
"Yes that is exactly what I am asking. The technologies we have been able to create in the sub-par facilities at Vault 0 have enabled us to spread out beyond the American wasteland without fear of losing the exploration party or inviting an unstoppable force to our homes." replied the hologram in a stating-the-obvious tone of voice.
"And just what would I get out of this deal?"
"Access to our advanced weaponry and technologically superior defenses to those you currently have. Among other items of interest"
"Okay then I'm game. Whats the catch? There's always a catch."
"You have to head up an expedition to the continent of Africa to search for other signs of civilization."
"Using experimental teleportation technology." The Courier said simultaneously with the hologram.
"Yes that's exactly what we are going to use. How did you know?
"Hologram in my house asking for access to Big Mt, proposes deal with the catch being travel to another continent, I'm assuming you don't have any air vehicles capable of traversing such great distances without regular fuel stops. So that just leaves teleportation."
"I have the feeling you are not amused."
"Those are some accurate feelings you've got there"
"So is that a yes to my deal?"
"I guess so."
"Excellent! I shall send for a Vertibird to pick up the other squad members immediately." and with that the hologram winked out of existence."
The Courier Groaned "What have I gotten myself into?"
-----(Somewhere else)-----
"General, Sir, we are ready to begin reclamation of the surrounding continents and possibly make new allies to increase our chances of bringing back order to the world." Lieutenant Chaser reported.
"Good, ready my Ultrahawk" commanded General Adam-Lieu.
"Sir, I already took the liberty of prepping your Ultrahawk for travel, Sir." replied Lieutenant Chaser.
"And that's the reason it only took you three years to reach Lieutenant First Class. If only there were less people like you, this job would be just that much more bearable." he responded, adding the last part under his breath. "Very well let us head off for the UAS Obadiah."
"Sir yes, Sir!" the Lieutenant replied whilst heading towards the airfield.
The Airfield was a massive complex of buildings and runways bustling with constant activity whilst the UAS Obadiah hovered overhead giving off an air of dominance over the surrounding cityscape. The majority of the hangars housed Ultrahawk Personal Assault Dropships(or U.P.A.Ds as they are more commonly referred to by the civilian populace of the cities spotting the continent), the rest housed either RD-20P Tactical Fighter/Bombers or A7-J9 Cargo Haulers. The outer wall was dotted with guard towers and turret emplacements and was made of an incredibly strong alloy discovered by the pre-war countries of the South Pacific Coalition.
The General breathed deeply savoring the smell of the fresh air as he made his way to his personal U.P.A.D, which was 4 times as large as a normal U.P.A.D and had enough armor to withstand a direct strike from a nuclear warhead and keep the radiation out for 1000 years, as well as having two twin-linked railguns, three ballistic missile emplacements and a Mk.3 Thermic Siege Laser (it also had about 20 auto turrets, 6 different communications arrays and enough space to hold a 20 man squad of Behemoths and still be able fit enough ammo and supplies to take down the entire American Wasteland, but who really wants to know about those trivial things?).
"Ah, the perks of being a high ranking officer. So Lieutenant where do you think we should travel to first?" the General asked completely not expecting an answer.
"I recommend we travel to the continent of America so we can gain access to their technologies in order to further our own goals of world order and unification under one flag." the Lieutenant replied without missing a beat.
"Uuuuuh... How did you come up with that?"
"I was reading up on Pre-war history and found out that The United States Of America was a major contributor to the technologies used in the war."
"Very well we shall set course for America. I wonder if the locals will be friendly."
-----(Somewhere else)-----
In the American Wasteland every single raider, bandit, insane tribal and mutated monster suddenly had a shiver of dread travel down their spines (and other assorted body parts).
-----(Somewhere else)-----
Before the general could even make it halfway a soldier ran up to him panting for breath. "S-sir. City seven is under attack from alliance forces. The High Council has ordered you to oversee the counterstrike assault against them."
"Well you heard him Lieutenant. Pilot replot the course for City seven instead of the UAS Obadiah."
"Sir yes, Sir"
-----(Six hours later)-----
"Entering City seven airspace now general, it looks like the Alliance has rolled out their new experimentals." the pilot said whilst evading anti-air rail fire. "What do you want me to do?"
"Fire the siege laser at them."
"If you say so, Sir." the pilot replied whilst designating the targets for the siege laser. "Sir firing coordinates locked in, firing in three. Two. One." as the pilot said the last word a powerful beam of light lanced forward from the underside of the U.P.A.D decimating anything it touched.
"I used to think the Thermic Siege Laser was the most powerful weapon we possessed but then i saw the test fire for the Sentinel Siege Satellite, I've gotta tell you, that think is redundantly over powered. I mean seriously, a 6 part explosion and a cluster effect, on top of that it shreds everything with shrapnel." the general reminisced.
"Shouldn't we be focusing on stopping the Alliance assault, Sir?" the Lieutenant asked.
"I guess we should. I was just remembering before we came into contact with the Alliance and they decided that we were inferior to them." the general sighed. "But anyway, bring me my Holopad." the general waited whilst his holopad materialized in front of him.
The general started directing the surviving forces in the area to begin evacuations of the surviving citizens who hadn't already fled in terror and then plotted firing routines for the artillery installations overlooking the city. "I don't see why the council doesn't just launch a full scale war on the Alliance, we have the resources and man power, not to mention our incredibly advanced technologies."
"Because General, that's not how a responsible government handles its enemies." the general was shocked when a hologram of High Councilor Thanos appeared in the middle of the Forward Command Center in his U.P.A.D.
"High Councilor what brings you to grace my presence?" the general replied nervously, nothing good ever comes from a direct audience with a High Councilor.
"You have been selected by the Council to head up an exploration team to the continent of America to search for signs of civilization and, if any are found, to help them prosper and thrive in the desolate wastes that the once great continent has been reduced to."
"That's actually what I was planning to do before City Seven came under attack from Alliance forces."
"Do not worry about City Seven, we have tasked Generals Riechter and Lovelace to take over defense of the city, meanwhile you shall be taking the new experimental airship the UAS Ernest Rutherford. Dismissed" and with that the hologram flickered out of existence.
"Well at least I'm gonna get to test out some new technology for this mission, eh Lieutenant?"
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?"
"Granted."
"THIS FUCKING ROCKS! The UAS Ernest Rutherford has access to the most advanced technology we have, even that Ion Cannon the Technological Institute of City One have been going on about, So all in all, Dis Gon B Gud."
"Lieutenant."
"Yes Sir?" the Lieutenant asked with a quiver in his voice.
"You just rose six levels on my list of people I fuckin' love."
"Sir, What do you mean?"
"I mean I thought you were just some by-the-book Lieutenant hoping to get in my good books by being all business like, I never knew you were into Pre-war memes."
"Well it's what kept me sane during basic training."
"Bahahaha, basic training was a bitch wasn't it?"
"Hehe, yes it was. Pilot set a course for the main harbour of City Two."
"I already set it, we'll be there in twenty minutes. I'd recommend you start picking your Strike Team."
"Good thinking Pilot, uuh what's your name and rank?"
"Lieutenant Major John Strongback."
"Oh a Strongback. I thought your line died out during the original battle with the Alliance."
"That's what most believed but we just ran back to Aquos to lick our wounds and recoup our loses."
"Aquos still under martial law?"
"No it was lifted six months ago, the residents have begun to resume regular resource shipments to the cities."
"Ah, I see. How long till we arrive?"
"Ten seconds ago sir."
"We been talking that long?"
"Yeah, I tend to make things go faster when I have a conversation with people whilst flying."
"Well it's time to disembark, I should probably head to Central Command to assume control of the UAS Ernest Rutherford."
"We'll meet you on board, Sir." and with that the Lieutenant and Pilot walked off towards The Drunken Pole, one of the more well known bars amongst Defense Force officers.
"Don't get too drunk! I still need you to fly the damn thing!" yelled the general after them in a light hearted chuckle. "I sure could use a drink right about now."
"That you could General, that's why i always have alcohol at my mission briefings."
"High Councilor Thanos! I didn't expect you to be here." the general exclaimed.
"Of course you didn't, who do you think was going to being giving the mission briefing?"
"I thought it was going to be Councilor Archon, he generally handles exploration mission briefings."
"Yes he normally does, but he's off sick with a cold, I'll still never understand how with all our advanced medical technologies we haven't been able to cure a simple disease."
"Okay, so you're going to be giving the mission briefing?"
"Yes I shall be giving the briefing, so lets go to the briefing chamber together."
"Sure, I guess."
-----(One hour later)-----
"So you want ME to head up a six man squad to explore the Wastes whilst the UAS Ernest Rutherford sets up a forward operating encampment so we can have a foothold there to enable us to better help them?"
"Yes that's essentially it, although you forgot the part where you will be outfitted with the latest and greatest in weapons, armor and survival gear."
"What about supplies?"
"There's a device in the survival gear that will take care of that for you, now I just need you to select the other five members of your team and we can get this mission underway." the High Councilor held out a Holopad for the general to take.
The general took the Holopad scanning through the one hundred individuals listed reading up on all their files. "Why is there a scientist on here with no combat skill?" asked the general.
"Because he is quite capable of adapting to most any situation and is by far the smartest individual who doesn't have neural implants, furthermore he also has private technologies that could be invaluable to your mission."
"I guess that makes sense." the genera continued reading the files on the holopad for a few more hours before making his decision. "I have chosen the five I would like to make up my squad."
-----(Somewhere else)-----
"New Vegas is under attack! All residents get to shelter whilst the Securitrons secure the area!" was blared out over the loud speakers on the strip whilst everyone was running around in panic and the Securitrons were mobilizing to combat the threat and secure the city.
Part of the wall protecting the Strip exploded in a massive green fireball. The Courier emerged from the Lucky 38 clad in full Saturnite Power Armor and wielding an Anti-Material Rifle and Tesla Beaton Prototype. "Alright all non-combatants get into the Lucky 38 now! The Securitrons and NCR Troopers here on leave will protect you whilst I go and tackle the threat head on!"
Outside the walls around New Vegas Legate Versius readies his troops to charge when a blinding flash takes out most of his legion and fades away to reveal 3 mammoth sized robots with four legs and enough firepower to capture Hoover Dam. "W-w-what are those things" shouted one of his legionnaires.
"I don't know but they shall feel the wrath of Caesars Legion! CHARGE!" ordered the Legate as the four legged robots leveled their guns on the charging force and opened fire with a solid wall of heat and light, tearing apart the Legionnaires and leaving only bloody hunks of gore and intestines to signify there was even an opposing force.
At that same moment The Courier and fifty Securitrons charged out of the hole in the wall to see the massive machines rip the attackers apart with minimalistic effort. "Retreat and call in an artillery strike on those things!" yelled The Courier as he and the Securitrons retreated into New Vegas as the summoned artillery strike started impacting the machines of death that had just ripped apart a legion as if it were nothing.
After the artillery finished striking a hatch on one of the machines opened up and a Power Armor clad figure hopped off the machine and strode towards the hole in the defensive wall around The Strip.
Prologue
The Courier looked over the barricade as he heard footsteps preparing to shoot whatever it was approaching him, but was completely shocked when he saw a figure in Power Armor with a BoS symbol on its shoulders. "Are you The Courier?" the mysterious figure asked.
"Yes I am, who's asking?"
"I am Knight Commander Lucus Marks and I have been sent here to request your presence at the Hidden Valley Bunker so that we may plan an extra-continental expedition to secure a foothold in another continent."
"So why did you attack the strip?"
"We were merely destroying the offending party when we were struck by some less than adequate artillery fire."
"But that was from the Boomers, they never miss their target."
"You misinterpret me, I merely meant that it was inadequate in the fact that it failed to puncture the armor of our Mk.2 Behemoths. I meant no disrespect to these 'Boomers' you referred to." the armor clad figure explained.
"Well then, sorry about shelling you and all that. We thought you were anew enemy seeking to claim New Vegas for their own."
"Bahahahahahah. Why would we need New Vegas when we have control of Vault 0 and access to its vast troves of technology and information?"
"Uuuh, because you're a power hungry organization hell bent on controlling all technology in the wastes and disregarding the inhabitants?"
"That would be the western chapters, not our chapter, our chapter is devoted protecting the wastes from threats and helping all towns and cities under our protection to flourish and expand to their fullest potential. I have also been briefed that The Warrior managed to get you to allow our scientists access to Big Mt?"
"Yes that is correct, also he managed to get me to join an expedition to another continent."
"Oh, uh, hehe that was sorta what i was sent here to pick you up for. We were going to ask if you wanted to participate in the expedition, I, uuh, guess we don't give The Warrior enough credit. Hehe" the Knight Commander replied caught completely off guard. "Anyway we have already called for The Lone Wanderer and she should be here within the next few days, so why don't you get come with us and get comfortable in the bunker before start the briefing in a few days?"
"I'm just gonna leave instructions for Yes Man to repair the walls and redeploy the securitrons to intercept any further legion assaults whilst I'm away. Also how long do you expect the expedition to last?"
"It should last a few weeks, two months at the most And I'll just wait here for you to be finished before we head off to Hidden Valley."
"I do know where that is you know?"
"Oh, well I guess I'll see you there."
"You don't sound very commander, what's up with that?"
"I wasn't born into the Brotherhood so i didn't have parents who rigorously drilled me in the 'Proper' ways a Knight should behave. I'd say its worked out fine so far, so why should i stop doing it?"
"That's actually a very good question, but I'll meet you at Hidden Valley in awhile. I've got some things to take care of."
"Okay. Cya there then."
-----(In a Vertibird flying over the wastes)-----
"So you want me to participate in an expedition to another continent so that you can bring civilization to its inhabitants?"
"Yes that's exactly what I'm asking you."
"I'm in. What do I get as a reward anyway?"
"You shall receive a large sum of caps and access to advanced medical and defensive technologies."
"I have access to an alien Mothership, I'm rather set for technologies. Any other offers?"
"Well we could give you cybernetic and genetic augmentations as well as reinforce your bones with advanced alloys and Pay for you to receive some implants from New Vegas."
"I already have Vegas implants, but the deal you offered is acceptable."
"Excellent, now we shall be arriving at Hidden Valley in approximately 7 hours. So get some rest"
-----(Seven hours and 6 minutes later)-----
"Okay, now that everyone is gathered we can officially start this meeting" stated Elder McNamara from his seat at the head of the table.
"Yes, now onto the first order of business..."
-----(Somewhere else and about 3 hours in the future)----
"Sir we've been traveling for almost a day, don't you think we should stop to refuel?" Flight Captain Rigsby asked Lord Commander Legas.
"This airship is designed to create its own fuel, and even if it didn't we're outside of Union borders so we're shit outta luck for resupplying until we reach America."
"I get the feeling all the higher ups in our military are incredibly informal." stated Lieutenant Chaser.
"Well then you would be one hundred percent correct, Lieutenant. We've learnt not to be too serious about things so that we don't go insane our the sheer workload we have to deal with on a daily basis." General Adam-Lieu responded.
"I take it the work load of the average general is astronomically high?"
"That it is lieutenant, that it is."
"Would you two stop lollygagging and get back to screwing around for the duration of this flight? We've only got another day the most before we reach the American Wastes." the Captain ordered the two commanding officers.
"Spoil sport." responded both the Lord Commander and General.
"Look out the windows if you want to see the continent of Africa. It looks positively evil." remarked the Captain.
The General looked out the window at what can only be described as a hell on earth. Everywhere he looked there were hordes of horribly mutated creatures and swarms of insects that stripped the land of any plant live they came across and in the distance were three massive constantly erupting volcanoes spewing streams of lava into the already uninhabitable areas surrounding them.
"Well I vote we nuke this place from orbit and then kill any survivors with fire, who's with me?" asked Lord Commander Legas
Everyone unanimously raised their hands in agreement. The Lord Commander then ordered the rear missile emplacements to fire off their entire payloads into the surrounding area.
"I'd cover your ears and look away from the windows for the next few minutes if I were you." the captain suggested.
"Now that sounds like a good idea." the general replied as everyone (himself included) covered their ears and looked away from the windows in time to avoid the cacophony of explosions that rattled the area around the airship.
The barrage lasted a full three minutes in which time the entire crew did nothing but block out the lights and sounds destroying everything around the airship. "I think it's safe to look now." the captain stated.
The entire crew looked out over the stricken area to see massive craters and a few very pissed off creatures that dwelled in the ground. "I'd suggest we go up a few thousand feet." the general said whilst the captain was already doing just that.
-----(On the surface)-----
The three massive tentacle monsters decided to duke it out to see which one was strong enough to claim the right to fight this new creature seeking to lay claim to their territory.
Unbeknownst to them a creature that dwelled in the volcanic wastes decided to have a little fun with the strange flying metallic creature.
-----(Back on the airship)-----
"So what should we do about those tentacle thingies?" asked one of the soldiers standing in the cafeteria.
"I know what we should do! We should study them, for the greater good of the union, and not to further my own goals, hehe" exclaimed an incredibly creepy man in a white lab coat.
"Okay whatever you say weirdo" and with that the soldiers went back to trying to one up each others battle stories, until a massive hunk of muscle told its greatest battle story.
-----(In another dimension)-----
"Velvet Remedy just asked me to repair her Pipbuck! Oh this is going to be so good! I'll do everything I can to make her Pipbuck work better than it was before and I'll also present it to her in person to see what she thinks of my work!" Littlepip joyously squeed after her idol Velvet Remedy asked her to repair her Pipbuck.
-----(Back in the first dimension this story was explaining)-----
"So let us agree to never ever bombard an area fulled with mutated abominations again, without opening up the Harbinger silos first." the general polled.
"Agreed" was the unanimous reply from everyone who witnessed the creatures fighting it out.
"Now that's out of the way let us retire to our quarters for the evening and leave the ship on auto pilot at an altitude of fifteen thousand feet." and with that the general strode away to sleep for the night.
-----(Back at Hidden Valley)-----
"Elder McNamara, Sir. Our recon drones in Africa picked up an unknown air vehicle flying over the continent and bombarding an area fulled with mutated lifeforms." reported one of the scribes assigned to overseeing the reports made by the recon drones in Africa.
"I see. Do you have a flight vector?"
"Yes Elder, it's heading straight towards America."
"Looks like we're going to have to get Midwestern Chapter to set up air defenses around the eastern shores to take it out should it try and approach America."
"Yes Elder, I shall send your instructions to The Calculator at once." and with that the scribe walked away to fulfill his orders.
"I see that an unknown presence is approaching America."
The Elder jumped slightly at the voice but calmed down when he saw he was only the holographic projection of the warrior. "You've got to add a warning when ever you do that"
"I tried that for a bit but removed it after it caused three fatal heart attacks."
"That was a wise thing to do then, what caused the heart attacks anyway?"
"Shock."
"Doesn't sound like they knew what was happening did they?"
"No they did not. But onto the business at hand. We've managed to get the prototype teleporter to teleport from the east coast to the west coast and back again, It was all just a matter of power. The Calculator believes that if hooked directly to a large supply of energy we should be able to teleport about twenty one people and enough supplies and building material to last them several months, easily long enough for us to set up a beach head."
"Well that's good to hear."
"Also with the help of some cloning facilities discovered in the depths of Vault 0 I shall be joining the expedition as part of my chapters 5 member team."
"How?"
"By making myself a new body, one that is superior to most any other non-mutated being and even then some will still be outclassed by it. Also it's going to have cybernetic augmentations to increase its strength, speed, perception, reaction time, endurance and of course agility."
"You're putting a lot of effort into this new body of yours aren't you?"
"Of course I am, who would want their new body to be weak after they've been a cryogenically frozen head in a jar for a few decades?"
"That's... actually a very valid point, why WOULDN'T you want your new body to be very well suited for the environment it will be entering."
"Exactly, now let us check in on the team leaders shall we?"
"Yes lets."
-----(Somewhere else)-----
"I'm The Courier, the most powerful man in the entire Mojave, maybe even the whole wasteland." boasted the Courier.
"As amusing as it is to watch you try to outdo my true stories with your fake one I believe The Warrior and Elder McNamara should be walking through the door in three, two, one."
As the Wanderer finished saying that both The Warrior and Elder McNamara both walked through the door to the dumbfounded looks of everyone but the Wanderer. "We quite clearly missed something really good."
"No doubt about it Warrior, but let us get on to prepping you for the mission. You will need to be outfitted with special Pipboys in order to make the jump in one biological piece, you will also need to submit for a full physical and mental evaluation. Any questions?"
Only one hand went up. "Yes Wanderer, what is your question?"
"Mothership Zeta picked up a larger number of explosions coming from the area in Africa the aliens shot with their death laser, do you know anything about that?"
"I forgot you have access to an alien mothership. Anyway I've asked the Calculator to set up AA defenses around the coast to intercept the unknown aggressors."
"Okay."
"Warning unknown air vehicle has taken out coastal AA defenses, ETA 4 hours until it reaches New Vegas." was suddenly blared out over the bunkers intercoms.
"Oh that's not good"
-----(On an airship flying towards New Vegas)-----
"General I don't think the locals are friendly"
"Nonsense. I'm sure they were just scared shitless by the massive hulking airship flying towards them at 700km/h"
"Did you just say a forward slash?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh yeah, I also forgot that all higher ups in our military very insane."
"That's it my boy, you got it in one."
"I'm gonna go take a nap. Wake me when we get there."
"Will do my boy! Now where were we? Oh yeah I was winning your next three years of pay, AHAHAHAHA."
"Sure. Royal Flush."
At that the Lord Commander flipped the table at the obviously cheating ways of the General "I call a do over!"
"No do overs Legas. Don't go throwing things, it's not my fault the rules are unchangeable. Well then you should go back in time and punch out the guy who invented poker."
And with that the Lord Commander huffed and stormed out of the control room. "You know I'm really starting to high that the only people who actually give a fuck in our military are the cadets and infantrymen." remarked one of the soldiers who was playing poker.
"Yeah I think you may be on to something there." and with that the soldiers made a pledge to each other to always be serious even when threatened with death.
-----(In the cafeteria)-----
"I'm calling bullshit on your story Sergeant H. Gunner, no one and I mean no one can take on an army of robots with just six people."
Back at Hidden Valley The Warrior suddenly started laughing uncontrollably, creeping everyone in the room with him the fuck out.
"It is true, Me and my friend were working as mercenaries and over hirerer's company came under attack so we had to defend the decoy from an army of robots."
"I'm seriously wondering why you are even here in the first place."
"Because I volunteered."
"WAIT! You volunteered? What kind of batshit crazy are you?"
"The kind fresh out of hell."
"Am i the only sane person here?"
"Yes" was the resounding reply from everyone in the cafeteria.
"I hate you all."
"ETA three minutes till we reach the city of Las Vegas! Get out your gambling hats we've got some casinos to bankrupt!" massive cheering was heard from all around the ship as people cheered for being able to gamble again. shouts of "I fucking love you man" and "We gonna be rich!" were also thrown in the mix for good measure.
-----(On The Strip)-----
"Do you hear cheering?"
"Yes but where's it coming from?"
"Unknown air vehicle approaching New Vegas, All personnel prepare for enemy incursion!"
"Well... fuck."
"Yeah, fuck."
-----(On the airship)-----
"Okay boys we have arrived! Let us gamble until the early hours of the morning!"
"FUCK YEAH!" was the resounding reply from the entire crew.
In the hangar the U.P.A.D's were rushed by over eager soldiers wanting to get drunk and gamble a lot.
-----(On The Strip)-----
"The hell are those things?"
"They look like some form of drop ship."
"No shit Sherlock."
"Who's Sherlock?"
"Oh I don't fucking know."
"Then why did you say his name?"
"It's an insult you idiot."
"Oh... HEY!"
"Took you long enough."
Just then the first U.P.A.D launched from the airship, landing in front of the arguing NCR troopers. The U.P.A.D opened ifs drop bay doors ans spewed forth twenty excited Union marines who quickly rushed the casinos ignoring everything else entirely.
"That was... Uh... Yeah I got nothing that describes this."
"Blood clot inducingly bizarre?"
"I knew there was a reason I kept you around, other than to be a human shield."
"Hehe, I hate you too sir."
"What was that?"
"Oh it was nothing. Hey look here come more of those troop carriers."
"Why you calling them that?"
"Because they carry troops."
"I wonder if there's a pony version of you in another dimension."
"Why do you wander that?"
"Oh shit did I say that aloud?"
"Yes" called one of the passing marines.
"I've really gotta learn to not speak my thoughts."
"Probably, but we should probably go to the casino bars before they run out of booze."
"I have never heard anything smarter come out of your mouth. Ever."
"What about that time I explained how to fix that weird car thingy that that old guy and teenager were driving?"
"That doesn't count, they weren't even from this timeline. But any way, TOO THE BAR!"
And with that mighty cheer for alcohol they rushed the nearest casino for more liquor.
-----(In Hidden Valley)-----
"Yes Man just reported the unknown air vehicle is hovering over New Vegas and is disgorging troops into the casinos. I somehow think they're too occupied with gambling and getting drunk to bother invading us... yet."
"So i take it you're gonna become just that much richer now?"
"I'm already rich enough as is. Why would I need even more caps?"
"True."
Whilst they were all nodding in agreement over The Couriers immense wealth a bright flash occurred in the corner and revealed a mysterious figure clad in Brotherhood power armor.
"Ahem. Is... do any of you even notice me teleporting in?" to which the figure was met with nothing but silence. "Of course you aren't noticing me, I've got my stealth field active." and with that the figure deactivated its stealth field and much to the surprise of everyone present greeted Elder McNamara like an old friend. "Hey Elder McNamara how you been?"
"Do I know you?"
"Of course you do, it's me The Warrior."
"That's not possible, The Warrior is a guy."
"Mo the holographic representation of me is a guy, the actual me is a girl."
"I'm confused, how did The Warrior get a body in the first place?"
"Science." was all the 'Warrior' said.
"Oh you finished your new body already did you?"
"It had been finished for a few weeks, I was just waiting for the implants to be completed."
"Well congratulations you just volunteered to meet the unknown force residing above New Vegas. Enjoy"
"Swe- WAIT WHAT!"
"Well toddles, see you when you get back." and with that the Elder kicked The Warrior out of the bunker to go meet with the unknown faction above New Vegas.
-----(Outside the bunker)-----
"Stupid elder, making me go contact an advanced race hours after I get my new body." The Warrior grumbled to herself.
Whilst walking towards New Vegas The Warrior was spotted by some Fiends who thought that she would make a great slave. They decided to attack when they thought the target wasn't looking.
"Taste my boot bitch!" as The Warrior heard this a boot crashed into her side. Without breaking stride the Warrior grabbed the leg and threw the offending party into a nearby car wreck much to the disbelief of the other Fiends who were about to attack.
"ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF THE FIENDS" was echoed around the area by the Fiends who watched their strongest member get thrown into a car twenty meters away.
"Leave me alone, I just want to get to New Vegas without any more interruptions."
"Yes my Queen" was all she got in reply.
"Fucking tweekers."
-----(Two hours of superhuman sprinting later)-----
After sprinting at speeds that would make even a Deathclaw envious, The Warrior arrived at the eastern gate of Freeside where she was spotted by the Kings.
"Hey lady no gets in Freeside without the kings orders, so take a hike."
"I'm here on behalf of the Brotherhood Of Steel to open negotiations with the unknown faction residing above The Strip. So if you'll excuse me..." and with that the Warrior pushed her way past the guards and kicked open the barred gates to Freeside.
"Whoa, that lady's strong."
"No doubt about it Frankie, I need a drink."
"Me too, but the boss says we can't leave the gate until his say so."
"Hey you over there! Yeah you in the shabby clothes, wanna go buy us some whiskey?"
"Yells yes I would."
"Good here's 30 caps, keep the change."
-----(In Freesdie)-----
"... Please submit to a credit check or show your Passport."
"Oh for fuck sake, screw it I'm smashing my way in." and with those words the Warrior picked up the Securitron and threw it into the supports on her left, she then picked up some of the hunks of metal and threw them at the remaining Securitons. All of which happened in under 3 seconds. "Okay now you lot of vermin had better not enter The Strip, do you hear me?" every single person who witnessed the fight nodded in acknowledgement. "Good."
Prologue
"What the hell is going on here?!" were the first words out of the Warriors mouth the moment she saw what was on the strip. Hundreds, maybe even a few thousand, soldiers wearing advanced armor were singing jovially and drinking the casinos entire stock of alcoholic beverages.
"Oh we're just having some fun before we set up shop here so we can bring prosperity to the American Wasteland." replied an unsurprisingly drunk soldier.
"Why are you willing to waste your resources here? There's nothing but irradiated desert as far as the eye can see?"
"Because we wouldn't be as prosperous if we hadn't settled in the Australian outback when we emerged from our shelters one hundred and ninety years ago."
"What's Australia?"
"It's a continent in the south pacific. It was part of the South Pacific Coalition before the Great War. Very technologically advanced, and gifted with miraculous foresight. But anyway enough about history! Let us get even drunker!" the slightly inebriated soldier slurred.
"Can I speak to your commanding officer?"
"Sure he's just over there trying to get us back on the airship." the soldier said whilst pointing at a man in the most fascinating armor she'd ever seen.
"Thank you." and with that she moved over to the armor clad individual. "Excuse me are you in charge of these people?"
"Yes I am. Don't worry I'll get them back in line soon."
"I was actually sent here to open dialogue with your faction."
"Oh marvelous! But seriously having someone in an ambassadorial position from another civilization see my troops in such an unorganized state is truly embarrassing."
"Care to follow me to Hidden Valley?"
"Sure I guess, we can even propose a few alliance propositions on the way."
"Sure, if you can talk whilst running at a ridiculous speed."
"Well there was that time I tried to catch up to my stolen L.R.C."
"Okay, well anyway lets head off."
-----(Another two hours of superhuman sprinting later)-----
"And you thought I wouldn't be able to keep up with you." the Lord Commander bragged whilst regaining his breath.
"Yes but I'm not out of breath."
"You try being seventy five and in charge of an entire nations army."
"Well I'm over a hundred so I beat you hands down."
"Damn you're old. What's your secret?"
"beings a brain in a jar for most of my life and then making myself a new body."
"Oh... That's what the High Councilors have been doing since 2083."
"So your faction is nearly as old as the Great War. Huh I thought it was just the Brotherhood and the Enclave who dated back that far."
"We've around since the South Pacific Coalition was formed in 2024. But enough about history, I suggest we get inside so we can finalize our alliance."
-----(Five minutes later in the depths of Hidden Valley)-----
"So you're in charge of this faction I take it?"
"Only this chapter, the person to your left is in charge of one of the more advanced chapters of our faction."
"That would explain her access to genetic fabrication facilities, but anyway we need to hammer out a deal. I heard that you were performing an expedition to Africa..."
-----(Three hours later in another Dimension)-----
Littlepip was trying to make herself as small as possible from the menacing glares she was receiving after news about Velvet Remedies departure and Littlepip having her Pipbuck spread around the vault. "I'm going to leave the Stable and go look for her, maybe that will get me back in everyponies favour."
-----(Back in the previous dimension an hour later)-----
"So we have a deal then, five of my people will accompany your expedition team and in exchange you'll let us have access to both Mothership Zeta AND Big Mt research center, in exchange for us lending you our advanced medical and military technologies in-order to help better your factions. All agreed?"
"Yes."
"Sure why not."
"Yes."
"Yeah."
"I guess so."
"Right so we're all in agreement. I'll just inform the five people I have selected to go on the expedition that they have been reassigned." the Lord Commander then activated his Holopad much to the amazement of everyone present.
-----(Five minutes later on board the Ernest Rutherford)-----
"Gents we've just been reassigned to a new mission to help peaceful relations going strong." proclaimed the Lieutenant.
"What is it?" asked Sergeant H.W. Guy.
"We're going to join an expedition by the natives to another continent via teleportation."
"But isn't teleportation impossible?"
"Oh and us casually throwing that probe into orbit around Mars last year didn't involve teleportation?"
"That was different.. it involved space drives."
"Right, anyway we have one hour to get ready before we head out."
-----(In Sergeant H.W. Guys quarters)-----
The Sergeant was looking over his two favourite weapons with a look of utter concentration at the task at hand: choosing which one to take with him. "Oooooh this is a tough one"
-----(In Dr. Ellensteins quarters)-----
"Useless alien artifact, useless alien artifact, useless alien artifact, useless one of a kind technology, useless decapitated head of a spy being kept alive by unknown means. Ah here it is." the Doctor proclaimed as he found what he was looking for: his other glove.
-----(In the Lieutenants Quarters)-----
"Grid Rifle: Check, Railpistol: Check, Low Power Rail Magnets: Check, Medium Power Rail Magnets: Check, High Power Rail Magnets: Check, Low Velocity Alloy block: Check, Ultratainium Round Block: Check. Now to move onto the other gear checklists..."
-----(In Dave and Amelia's Quarters)-----
"Why is there a sock hanging in midair?" called Amelia
"Because I was messing around with invisible wire earlier and accidentally broke physics... again."
"I've really gotta learn to lock away the high tech gear when you're around."
"Aww don't do that, otherwise I'll just have movies and video games to fill in my time." pouted Dave.
"I'm sorry but you break physics too often for you to be left alone with this stuff."
"Fine."
-----(Main hangar bay)-----
"Okay everyone ready?" asked the Lieutenant.
"Yes." was the unanimous reply.
"Good now let us head off to get this mission over and done with so I can get back in time for the release of Warmongers 3: Quest For Carnage."
"You play the Warmonger series as well?"
"Yes it's the best game series for war simulation."
"I suddenly like you."
"The feelings mutual." and with that they boarded the U.P.A.D and headed off towards Hidden Valley.
-----(Twenty minutes later at Hidden Valley)-----
"Okay sir we're here."
"Excellent they make the 'jump' in twenty minutes so I suggest you add out gear to the stuff they're taking along with them."
"Okay sir."
As they made their way to the teleportation chamber the squad decided to take a look at the facility they were about to leave behind. "Well this place sucks."
"Try not to piss off the people controlling the teleporter."
"I was just saying is all."
"Be quiet both of you, we're here." the lieutenant said as they stopped outside a door with a sign saying 'Teleportation Center'.
"Well that's a little obvious." just then the doors opened and allowed the group to see the inside of the chamber.
"Magnets?"
"Magnets."
"Why magnets?"
"Fucked if I know."
"Ah good the final members of our expedition force are here. Now we can get started on the briefing."
After explaining the basic concepts of the teleporter the scientist then went on to explain their mission. "So basically we're gonna be going to an unexplored irradiated hell hole that was shot by an alien death laser just so we can search for any advanced technologies and or civilizations that reside there?"
"Exactly. Though I wouldn't have put it that simply."
"Tee minus one minute until teleportation, all non expedition personnel please evacua- I mean exit the chamber."
"Well it looks like orientations over time to get ready for the jump."
"Tee minus 10."
"9."
"8."
"7."
"6."
"5."
"4."
"3."
"2."
"1."
"Teleportation."
-----(In the other dimension)-----
Littlepip was just about approach a lone stallion sitting at a campfire when there was a massive rainbow coloured flash and twenty of the strangest creatures she had ever seen stood before her.
"Where the fuck are we?" one of them yelled.
"I don't fucking know, I can't even see yet." responded another both in perfect Equestrian.
"I can see perfectly fine." replied another (also in perfect Equestrian).
"Yeah but that's because your an artificial construct from the commonwealth." responded one wearing the strangest (compared to the other creatures at least) suit of armor she had ever seen.
"People! I think here's something watching us."
"And what makes you think that?"
"There's an Equine watching us over there." said one of them said whilst pointing at her. "Think we should see if its sentient?"
"Guys we may have a problem!"
"What is it?"
"We may have accidentally crossed dimensions."
One of them reached into his boot and withdrew a strange device. "How the hell did the Transmogrifier get in my boot?"
"Oh that should have about done it."
"Done what?"
"Caused the obvious anomalous energy that caused us to jump between dimensions.
Littlepip couldn't believe her eyes, right in front of her were talking aliens from another dimension. She clearly must have been hallucinating from something in the air, because there was noway this could be happening.
Suddenly a stallion covered with blood and wearing pony skins shot at the creature in red armor. Littlepip starred in awe as the round bounced harmlessly off its surface. after staring in awe for a few seconds the creature spoke. "Which one of you just shot me?"
Chapter One: Enter, The Other Dimension
Chapter One
"What happened! And why can't I see. This is eerily similar to when I got lobotomized by tribals."
"At least you didn't have your brain put in a jar and have it still broadcasting to your body."
"I was a brain in a jar for over eighty years. I win."
"You all lose, I'm seeing pastel coloured... Ponies?"
"Yeah okay you win."
"I've only had that much jet and psycho one time. I ended up single handedly wiping out the legion and kicked the NCR out of Vegas."
"Yeah our government still remembers that."
"Why did we agree to let some NCR come along?"
"Becau-" just as the Courier was saying that a loud crack echoed around the area and a distinct pinging sound soon followed. "Which one of you just shot me?" he replied a few seconds after the gunshot.
"Die bitch!!" was all he got in response.
"Oh, so that's how you want to play it? Well two can play at that game." after saying that the Courier pulled the biggest gun to ever grace mass production in the wastes out of thin air. "Taste the wrath of my Anti-Material Rifle!" the courier yelled whilst hip firing the AA Rifle, easily ripping apart the pony that had shot him.
"That's not overkill enough for my tastes." replied the Wanderer as she pulled a long glowing tube from her back.
"What's that?"
"What happens when the Brotherhood gets a hold of alien technology." and with that she fired at the last armed pony, enveloping him in light and a few seconds later a sizzling sound could be heard before the pony exploded in a blue mushroom cloud. "Ah that's a satisfactory level of overkill."
"I win hands down for overkill grade weaponry." replied the Lieutenant. "But first we should probably make sure that those two natives aren't gonna try and kill us."
"Oh right, I tend to face against insurmountable challenges on a daily basis."
"Sure. So little equine are you going to attack us?"
Both the ponies both nodded vigorously. "Good. Now can either of you lead us to the nearest town so we can get a few-"
"WHY does my Pip-boy already have a map of this place?"
"Dunno but my Pimp-Boy 3 Billion is doing the same thing."
"What's a Pimp-Boy 3 billion?"
"A pimped our Pip-boy."
"Okay you lot, I've gotten this equine to give use directions to a forest town. It's over there." he said whilst pointing at an ominous looking forest. "Shouldn't take too long."
-----(Three hours later)-----
"You sure it said there's a town in here?"
"Yes. Though I think it may have been sending us to our untimely deaths in a forest of doom."
"BAHAHAHAHAHA!!" at that the Warrior, the Courier and the Wanderer all cracked up laughing
"Oh if only it knew just how unkillable we really are."
"Hey! Look there's a cave here!"
"I wouldn't go in there if-" suddenly The Couriers loot sense divined a large cache of high quality loot. In a soft demonic tone he proclaimed "Looooooot" easily scaring the shit out of the local wildlife (and even afew expedition members). Suddenly the Courier took off into the cave with impossible speed.
"Oh yeah I guess the elder forgot to mention his Loot Sense."
"I want that sense."
"Dave your sixth sense is how you figure out how to break physics on a regular basis... WHY is that tree floating upside?"
"I was a Cockatrice."
"Those are mythical creatures... aaaaannnd there's one right behind me isn't there?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"Lucky guess." spinning around Amelia delivered a strong right hook to the Cockatrice sending it flying into a tree with a loud CRACK. "I think I chipped a nail." she remarked whilst continuing as if she didn't just punch a mythical creature into a tree. "What's everyone looking at?"
"Why are there stars moving across those trees?"
"Dave..."
"Hey I haven't done that since the observatory back in primary school."
Suddenly The Courier was sent flying by a massive bear claw that came from nowhere. "Alright that's it, I'm pissed." suddenly all the NCR troopers and Initiates present ran away as fast as they could.
"Wonder what their problem is."
"Dunno but maybe it has something to do with that little pistol he's holding."
"TASTE THE WRATH OF ARCHIMEDES II!!" he pointed the pistol at the starry bear and watched as nothing happened. "Wait... what? That should have worked."
"Well we are in another dimension."
"Screw it I'm just gonna shoot it with my pistol on overkill level three settings."
"Those are actually settings for your pistol?"
"Yes, normal firing, Overkill level one, Overkill level two and overkill level three. There's also redundantly over powered, but I doubt we need to bust any bunkers hidden three milometers under the planets surface anytime soon."
"SO you gonna shoot it or what?" asked The Courier as he went flying past them and into a tree, breaking it into a pile of saw dust, before standing up and rejoining the group.
"Sure." responded the Lieutenant as he took aim. "Taste the wrath of ULTRA-CORP AMALGAMATED!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs as he fired three rounds, all but one of which missed and watched as the mountains in the distance erupted in explosions and a giant bear went flying through the air with a massive hole in it.
"Why Ultra-corp Amalgamated?"
"Because that's the company that makes the gun I used."
"That makes some form of sense."
"Well I'm off to loot that cave. Cya in a bit."
"I'm gonna join you. I need some experience looting."
"You've never looted before?"
"No, never."
"Oh I have some things to teach you indeed..." he said as they walked into the cave leaving the others outside.
"Think we should tell the others it's safe to comeback?"
"Sure, but how are we gonna get them back."
"I have an idea." The Wanderer suddenly took a big breath and bellowed out at the top of her lungs "IT'S OVER! YOU CAN COME BACK NOW!"
"That should about do it."
They both heard the others returning when a large creature that looked like a cross between a scorpion, a bat and a lion attempted to tackle The Warrior. It suddenly found itself a severe case of death the moment the Warrior saw it pouncing.
"It you just kill a manticore with one punch?"
"It was to where I thought its frontal lobe was."
"I don't think its frontal lobe's in its chest."
"So what if i failed miserably at biology, it's dead isn't it?"
"True. now i suggest we leave a note for the others telling them where we've gone."
"We're going somewhere?"
"Yes. We're gonna get out of this forest and set up a base camp"
"That sounds like an excellent idea." the two suddenly jumped in surprise when H.W. Guy was suddenly standing next to them.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Since about halfway through your conversation."
"So where we heading?"
"I saw a hill with clear plains around it we could use on our way here."
"Sounds good."
-----(Inside the cave)-----
"So far we've found nothing but these useless shiny rocks and that weird scaled creature we killed on top of that pile of gold. I know my Loot Sense picked up on some high quality loot in here."
"HEY! I found something." the Lieutenant called as he jogged up to the Courier with a golden amulet embedded with those shiny rocks he'd seen in the cave."
"Looks valuable. Well let's delve deeper." suddenly they both heard a cacophonous noise emanating from deep within the tunnel. "Well looks like we have another reason to go deeper, eh?"
"Yeah, lemme just put on this amulet so i don't use up pack space."
"Now that's the way a proper scavenger should behave!"
As the lieutenant put on the strange amulet a golden aura enveloped him, which neither of them noticed. "Okay we should probably go deeper now."
"We've been exploring this surprisingly large cave for thirty minutes now, and all we have to saw for it are these shiny rocks and enough gold to drown a camel."
"Why a camel?"
"Why not?"
"Because they're extinct?"
"Oh yeah, well in that case then, we also have enough gold to drown a Deathclaw. Why did my Pimp-Boy just say we discovered Dragons Den?"
"Because I think we found a dragons den."
"Oh yeah, this thing can be pretty unimaginative sometimes."
"So if we're in a dragons den, then where's the dragon?"
"That's a valid point, where is it?"
"Behind you." replied a deep gravelly voice.
"Oh, you can talk. Well that was unexpected."
"We travel between dimensions find talking ponies and a talking dragon is what you fins unexpected?"
"I've survived Big Mt, your argument is invalid."
"Why are you in my lair? Are you trying to steal my hoard?"
"No. My loot sense said there was some good loot in here. Obviously it lied. All we've found so far are these shiny rocks and enough gold to drown a Deathclaw."
"Those 'shiny rocks' as you call them are really priceless jewels and gemstones."
"I have no idea what ether of those are."
"Me neither, and I was educated in Aquos."
"You have been stealing my treasure and therefore must DIE!"
"Or we could, you now, kill you and continue looting this cave."
"What makes you think you can kill a dragon?"
"Our redundantly overpowered gear?"
"Why is it redundantly overpowered?"
"Because my pistol can bust a bunker."
"Okay."
"Three kilometers underground."
"You sure you're not packing megaspells in that thing?"
"Megaspell?"
"Well a megaspell is a-Hang on! I'm supposed to be killing you and eating your corpses."
The two easily dodged the dragon as it breathed fire at them. "Stay still so I can kill you!" shouted the dragon.
"Or we could shoot you with our more redundantly overpowered weapons, right Lieutenant?"
"I'm not using my Grid Rifle on its maximum setting in here."
"Why not?"
"It's used to take down Alliance Experimentals."
"Ah, well just shoot the dragon with its lowest setting."
"Sure." and with that they both opened fire on the dragon tearing its scaled skin apart as if it were tinfoil.
"How is it possible such puny creatures can possess such powerful weapons?" roared the dragon as it was slowly reduced to a pile of steaming flesh.
"SCIENCE MOTHAFUCKA!" they both replied as they unleashed a final barrage that finally ended the dragons life.
"Well that was interesting." commented the Courier as they finished up looting the dragons lair.
"Yeah. Who knew we'd be the first humans to kill a dragon?"
"Yeah. I hereby dub thee Sir Lieutenant Chaser, slayer of dragons."
"And I dub thee Sir Courier, legendary looter."
They both broke out in laughter at their little joke as they finished searching the massive circular chamber the dragon called home.
"Hey look. I found a whole bunch of amulets and jewellery. Why does it all have a slight glowing sheen to it"
"It's probably just the light reflecting off of them."
"Good point. Well we should probably take them so we can say we at least got some loot out of this endeavor."
"Yeah and we also got like two hundred dragon scales, and some of its bones."
"I took its teeth."
"Why?"
"Because they're incredibly sharp and highly magnetic."
"Dragon tooth rounds?"
"Dragon tooth rounds."
"Sweet, the others are gonna be so jealous."
"Yeah, but we should save them for 'Special' occasions."
"Yeah, not very often you can use bullets made of dragons teeth."
"So should we head back with all this loot?"
"Lets."
-----(Thirty minutes later)-----
"Where are they?"
"I dunno. Hey look they left a note."
Gone to these coordinates to set up shop.
"Well that was straight to the point."
"Of course it was. It is a note telling us where they're going, not asking how we are."
"True. Oh look, some blue flowers. If I got these back to the Think Tank I'm sure they could analyze it and tell me its properties."
"And why would you want that?"
"Coz this is a land of magical unicorns."
"You just want to see you can use magic don't you?"
"Of course, imagine the stuff I could get done with a fireball. I could probably even purge radiation from the soil."
"Well then lets get as many samples as we can so we can both check if we can use magic."
"Hells yes we should." as they were about to take some samples, the blue flowers lept out of the ground and touched their exposed faces before going back into the ground and moving away.
"Well that was weird."
"Yeah, why are you a power armored horse?"
"What?" the Courier looked at himself and discovered to his (severe) confusion that he was, indeed a power armored horse. "Huh. That's new."
"You've had worse haven't you."
"Yes I have. One time I was inexplicably turned into a cat for a day."
"Some weird shit happens in New Vegas."
"Of course, otherwise it wouldn't have an insanely old pre-war genius residing in my basement."
"Do i even want to know?"
"Not really. Also while I may be a horse at least I'm not a moving tree."
"I'm an Ent?"
"Yeah."
"Good thing i can just make anew body and transfer my consciousness to it, sadly it's a one one time thing per excursion."
"Ah, I see. It would really suck if, oh wait you're not an Ent. I'm just high on jet again."
"That's lucky."
"Yeah you're really some sorta cross between a unicorn and a winged horse now."
"And I'm also a female?"
"Nope, still male."
"Let's just get to the base camp so we can find a cure for this."
"Don't you think they'll just shoot us on site?"
"Nah, they won't do that."
-----(At the under construction base camp)-----
"So it's agreed we shoot anything that comes near us that is armed."
"It's not like the locals have anything that can harm us."
"Yeah he just jinxed it."
"Thanks a lot Frank, now they're gonna have fuckin' miniguns and missile launchers."
"Maybe you don't get bitch slapped for saying certain things?"
"Or it could do it to the exact same level."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because there's power armored ponies with miniguns and missile launchers approaching us."
"How many?"
"At least thirty."
"We are so boned."
"Or we could use the MIRV on them."
"We only have seven mini nukes."
"Well at least we have a Fatman."
"Should I fire a warning shot?"
"Yes." at that moment the power armored ponies opened fire on them. "Or you could shoot to kill."
"Sounds good."
-----(Amongst the Steel Rangers)-----
"So it looks like there are in fact aliens."
"Should we exterminate them and salvage their tech?"
"Of course that's what we should do. FIRE!"
"That one has a Balefire Egg Launcher."
"Those don't look like Balefire Eggs to me. OH SHIT! Brace for impact!" one of the aliens with someform of Balefire Egg Launcher on its shoulder opened fire on the Steel Rangers. When the object it launched collided with the ground it erupted with the biggest explosion the Steel Rangers had ever seen, easily dwarfing a Balefire Egg.
After the smoke had cleared over half the Steel Rangers lay dead or dying in the area surrounding the alien encampment. "Fall back! They are too strong!"
Heading away from the aliens they spotted two ponies emerging from the Everfree Forest. "Hey get away from here! There's aliens with insurmountable fire power attacking us."
"Well I suppose we could kill some aliens."
"I haven't killed any Xenos since the Indonesia incident."
"What happened there?"
"I don't remember."
"Aww, well lets go kill us some aliens."
"Wait! They'll kill you!" the captain of the steel rangers told them.
"Yeah and I'm not wearing Saturnite power armor."
"Well whatever, it's your funeral." the Steel Rangers then continued onwards towards their base.
-----(At the edge of the Everfree)-----
"So how do you think we should break being turned into equines to the rest of the team?"
"I should be fine for them believing me. I own the only suit of Saturnite Power Armor, you however have nothing they can use to verify if you're telling the truth. So all-in-all you're screwed."
"Neural pattern identifiers."
"What?"
"It's what we use to lock our armories."
"Well if you pass that then you're in I guess."
"Are those power armored ponies running towards us?"
"Yes it is."
"We should probably be confused right now."
"Yep,"
"We've too much weird shit to ever be confused again haven't we?"
"Yep."
"Hey! Get away from here! There's aliens with insurmountable firepower attacking us!"
Well I suppose we could kill some aliens."
"I haven't killed any Xenos since the Indonesia incident."
"What happened there?"
"I don't remember."
"Aww, well lets go kill us some aliens."
"Wait! They'll kill you!"
Yeah and I'm not wearing Saturnite Power Armor"
"Well whatever, it's your funeral."
"Think the aliens they were referring to were was our expedition team?"
"Obviously."
"Well lets head over there."
"Sure."
-----(Back at the nearly complete base camp)-----
"Hey guys!"
"Anyone ear that?"
"I did." called H.W. Guy from his workshop.
"So they must be back then."
"Hehe, I think they got turned into ponies."
"This reminds me of the Indonesia Incident all over again." mumbled one of the Union Marines.
"What was that?"
"Oh it was nothing, certainly not me mentioning a classified incident that happened in Indonesia."
"Oh, okay then carry on."
"You really don't care do you?"
"No. All I care about is the fact that two people on our team are quite possibly ponies."
"Nice place you built here."
"Well that's clearly the Courier." the Doctor said pointing at the pony in red power armor. "And the other is quite clearly Lieutenant Chaser."
"And you know that how?"
"Because I tasked an observation drone to watch over them in case they did something stupid."
"Makes sense. So what happened?"
"They got attacked by magic blue flowers that turned them into ponies, also the Lieutenant s now an alicorn."
"Well at least it's not as creepy as a two hundred year old girl who lives on an alien mothership."
"Nothings gonna creep you out is it?"
"Not in the slightest. Now we should probably get those two some help."
"We know nothing about magic. Although Chaser is an Alicorn now... Yes that might work."
"What might work?"
"We just need to get someone to teach chaser magic then he can change himself back."
"Sounds like it will take awhile."
"I spent three months in the Arctic, this is nothing."
"What's the Arctic?"
"Formerly known as New Zealand the Arctic is nothing but a frozen wasteland covered with destroyed military bases and inhabited by a massive sentient worm that possesses the knowledge of the meaning of life."
"So?"
"No I'm not sharing the meaning of life with you, it took me three months of mental training to even grasp its basic meanings."
"That's really deep."
"Yes but we should probably set about making them some more comfortable and less over powered armor ad weapons."
"Why?"
"So they will find the task more difficult and not breeze through it like me and a university entrance exam."
"Right. Also how's that Transmogrifier thingy?"
"It turns out it isn't actually the Transmogrifier."
"What is it?"
"A piece of metal with the words 'You pissed me off so I'm sending you to another dimension assholes' on it."
"Ah, who's it from?"
"Dunno. But it has The Universal Genre Savvy Guide on the back."
"Ok. Ah they've reached the outer wall."
-----(Outside the base camp)-----
"So when do you think they'll finally take notice of us?"
"Oh in around three minutes."
"Yeah probably. At least it's not like we have to survive through like two waves of ghoul ponies... Fuck."
"You just had to say i didn't you?"
"It's not my fault!"
"Now we have to fight off a horde of zombies... Any second now. Aaaaannny second now."
"I don't thi-"
"Don't speak!"
"Sorry."
After waiting in silence for several minutes the gates to the base camp opened out and allowed them access to the camp. All around were piles of supplies, building materials, armor and weapons, and various other oddities.
"They really build fast don't they?"
"Yeah those Initiates I 'asked' to do this really do work fast."
"I'm not gonna ask how you persuaded them to do all the work. Anyway can you possibly find a cure to our conditions?"
"The Doctor has suggested that the Lieutenant here learns magic so he can change you both back, coz science can't do shit to help you."
"Fair enough. But where am I supposed to learn magic *DING* there we go, Pip-Boys found me a library in some place called Ponyville. Well we'll be back soon."
"Uh we should probably tone down your levels of overkill."
"Why? It's not like I'm gonna just shoot everything that moves."
"Yeah! That's my job!" butted in the Courier
"Right so anyway we made you some low powered gear to use."
"Define low powered."
"Infinite ammo mini gun that never breaks for the courier, of course it only fires 5mm rounds and a sniper rifle, now that I think about it, how are you going to use them?"
"Dunno. Maybe one of the natives will have something I can use."
"Good luck with that. And as for you Lieutenant, I have a low powered Railpistol and a Mag Rifle, Both with copper carbide round blocks for higher velocity and penetration. I'm sure you can eventually figure out how to levitate them, but until then they have been customized for use in your mouth."
"Okay, so what about armor?"
"Combat Armor for the Courier and a Light Officers Raiment for you Lieutenant."
"So we're reasonably well armed and defended."
"Yes but from ballistic projectiles only, energy based ones will rip you apart."
"Ok well we'd better head out after we get this gear on."
-----(Twelve minutes later on the road to Ponyville)-----
"So basically you decided to let your brain stay in its jar in Mobius' lab so they could work together to make advanced technologies?"
"Pretty much."
"HOW are you still alive?"
"Something about magnets and Testla Coils."
"Does all wasteland technology revolve around magnets?"
"Well at least we don't use them in our guns."
"We also use them in our other technologies but that's not important, what is important is how you are being kept alive by magnets and Testla coils."
"I don't know, anyway I can see the town on the horizon."
"Good, now we just need to find that library and-" *Crack* "Avoid that sniper."
"Good idea, Lieutenant."
At the sound of a second gunshot they dived behind a pile of rocks, when suddenly they heard an explosion.
"Should we rush them and try and take out the threat so we can search that library safely?"
"Most definitely."
After a few minutes of skulking through the alleyways of Ponyville they saw their target. "A fucking tree. Of course it's a tree, everything's fucking treey around here."
"Having a slight mental breakdown are we?"
"Just a tiny one, not as major as some people would behave, but still quite bad for someone who's been through all the shit I have."
"Such as?"
"Having my brain sucked out by a parasite that feasts off the memories of living creatures."
"Wow. Tough break."
"Yeah, now my brain is just an incredibly advanced computer so I don't die from lack of brain function."
"So you basically have a Pip-Boy in your head?"
"More like a ZAX."
"Yeah those thinks are awesome. What do you know about them?"
"Everything listed in the stolen Vault-tec files from before the war."
"Nice, but we should probably try and clear out that tree so we can search in peace."
"Sure."
After scoping out the interior of the building through the windows the group decided to just fuck it and breach the door. once they'd gotten into position they and as they were about to kick in the door and shoot everything that moves, they heard someone scream as though they had been shot.
"We should probably help that person screaming for help." reasoned the courier.
"Yeah, I'd really hate to see what happens when you get negative karma here."
Once they readied themselves they headed off towards the location they heard the cry for help from and found a mare lying in the ground surrounded by other ponies who were slobbering menacingly.
"OI, FUCK NUGGETS! LEAVE HER ALONE!"
Once they heard the Lieutenant shout the possible raider ponies turned to see the Lieutenant and the Courier standing on the road behind them holding their weapons in their mouths.
"You lot go after them, that way we can have more m-" the raider was eternally silenced by a magnetically accelerated round to the spine.
"So you fuckers gonna charge us one by one leading to your inevitable deaths or what?" all the raider ponies looked at each other before simultaneously charging the pair. "Oh I love it when they try to rush me." the Courier said over the roar of charging maniacs.
As the raiders were charging Lieutenant Chaser opened fire on them with pinpoint precision, easily ripping holes in them as the rounds impacted their poorly armored bodies.
"You know I actually thought that they would be more of a challenge."
"Yeah, I guess we should probably give that pony some medical attention before she bleeds out."
"Good idea."
When they arrived at the mares side they noticed she was just in shock from being shot and was wearing some form of ponified vault jumpsuit, as well as a Pip-Boy 3000 strapped around one of her forelegs.
"It'll be ok, we're just gonna give you some stimpacks and then go clear out the library so we can search it. After we've cleared it we'll come back for you. Okay?" the mare nodded her agreement. "Good, now you may feel a slight stinging sensation for a few seconds." the courier said as he injected the mare with a Stimpack.
"W-who are you ponies?"
"Well for starters we're not really ponies and secondly I'm Lieutenant Donavier Chaser, Don't laugh Courier of I'll remove your testicles through your asshole, and this here is the Courier. I don't actually know his full name as we only met like seen hours ago."
"The name's Johnathon Barkley a.k.a The Courier, The Guy You Don't Fuck With, and The Scavenger."
"That's a lot of tittles ego maniac."
"Hey it's not my fault I'm adored by thousands for bringing almost peace to New Vegas."
"Uh can I speak now?"
"Sure."
"Where are you from? I've only been outside my stable for about a day, and yesterday I was confronted by some aliens."
"Oh, I knew you looked familiar, you're that pony who was looking at the Courier yesterday."
"Wait you're the aliens!"
"Yeah but we encountered some strange blue flower in that forest over there and we suddenly turned into ponies." Chaser said whilst pointing at the Everfree Forest.
"Are you going to abduct me and experiment on me?"
"Not really, we're sorta here by accident. We were supposed to be traveling to another continent to explore it when something happened to our teleporter and we ended up here."
"Also, as the idiot of a courier forgot to mention we may have crossed between dimensions a bit."
"So I'm talking to inter-dimensional aliens?"
"Pretty much... just waiting for you to faint from the shock of the situation, and there we go." the courier said just before the mare in front of them fainted. "We should probably clear that library tree thingie now."
"One of us has to stay here to make sure she doesn't get raped."
"Okay good idea, since you proposed it you get to stay here whilst I clear the libraratree."
"Libraratree?"
"It's what I'm calling that tree structure now."
"Sounds rather fitting. I'll just wait here till you get back."
-----(Outside the library again)-----
The Lieutenant kicked in the door with a swift double kick from his hind legs that sent the door flying into the center of the room, startling the raiders present. "I'm here to read, motherfuckers." called out the Lieutenant in an excellently delivered (in his opinion anyway) a one liner and then opened fire on all the raiders he could see, using only two shoots to fell each one until he came across one covered in roughly thrown together sheets of rusty plate metal.
"Oh this is gonna be fun." the Lieutenant taunted as the two circled each other in the center of the room. "Most to move loses." called out the Lieutenant which caused the raider to charge. Easily dodging the haphazard attack, the Lieutenant pivoted on his rear legs and put two rounds in the exposed back of the raiders head.
"Still too easy. Oh hello caged ponies, would you like some assistance?" all the ponies locked in cages nodded vigorously. "Okay, since I suck as picking locks I'm just gonna shoot them off, so cover your ears." the Lieutenant warned as he took aim at the cages locks and shot each of the locks once, breaking them easily.
"Okay I suggest you remain in here until the town has been swept."
"T-thank you mister."
"Oh it was nothing. I didn't go through seven years of basic training for nothing."
"Basic training?"
"Yeah I ad to spend seven years honing my skills before I could join the Union Air force."
"What's the Union Air force?"
"The main military power from where I come from/"
"And where's that?"
"Another dimension. Don't look so shocked, I did just take out like ten raiders with technology that has never been seen before."
"I think I'll just stay here a bit and try not to look at the dessicated corpses piled in this room."
"Okay I'm just gonna clear the upper floors. Also tell that ghoul to get up, it's free." and with that he took off up the stairs to find a raider raping a little filly. "Shouldn't have done that, friend." he said whilst silently walking up behind the raider before caving in his skull with a swift kick from his forelegs. "Are you alright little girl?"
"Y-ye-yes." she replied with tears in her eyes.
"Don't worry the monsters who did this will all be dead soon." he said whilst trying (and failing) to comfort the traumatized filly. "Head down stairs where you'll be safe."
And with that he lead the filly out the door, whilst she headed downstairs, he headed upstairs to deal with the final raider. Upon seeing that the raider was too focused on trying to find the Courier and the mare they rescued. Seeing his chance the Lieutenant snuck up behind the sniper before tapping him lightly on the back. The raider turned around angrily until he was the grinning alicorn standing behind him poised to strike.
"Any last words, raider scum?"
"I regret nothing!" and with that final exclamation the Lieutenant smashed the raider in the face, killing him instantly. "And now the town is cleared of raiders, time to go get Johnathon and that mare and start searching the library."
After descending the stairs to the main room of the library the Lieutenant decided to address the freed prisoners. "Alright the lot of you are free to go, just don't get into trouble again."
Continuing out of the library, the lieutenant looks around to see if there are any traps and is surprised to see a strangely designed eyebot floating around. "Either I'm high or there's ancient pre-war tech with wings floating past me." suddenly the eyebot stopped and looked at the Lieutenant. "Can I help you?"
There was a slight popping sound and a metallically toned voice came over the eyebot. "Who are you?" the eyebot asked.
"I am Lieutenant Donavier Chaser, of the seventy fifth Air division of the Union. And you are?"
"Confused. I've never heard of this 'Union' unless you're referring to Unity, in which case I'm expecting the goddess to try and assume direct control of you and destroy this spritebot."
"Goddess? Never heard of her, is she some sort of incredibly powerful magic user or something?"
"Yes. She's also in direct control of an army of alicorns."
"And what's do great about that?"
"She kidnaps ponies to turn into more alicorns."
"Well that sounds cruel. But anyway I have to meet up with the Courier so we can search the library for any books relating to magic."
"Why?"
"So I can learn magic and turns us back into what we were before we got attacked by that weird blue flower."
"You survived being touched by killing joke? Wow you must be incredibly lucky."
"Or from another dimension, but anyway I'll see you whenever you decide to pop in again." and with that the Lieutenant set off to get the Courier and the mare who's name he didn't bother to learn.
-----(Where ever the Couriers at)-----
"So you've had your brain, heart and spine removed by scientists who turned themselves into floating brains in jars and actually talked to it?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm not having a mental breakdown about talking pastel coloured ponies."
"I somehow think your world's more screwed over than mine."
"No, you had one war and screwed it up more spectacularly than most humans would, and over coal no less."
"Wait. Humans don't use coal for their machines?"
"No we use fossil fuel, well we used to before it ran out."
"Huh, well at least we have magic."
"Yeah. all we have is advanced super science capable of destroying whole planets."
"That sounds like it would be as powerful as magic."
"Yeah, oh look Chaser is back. Hey Chaser we're over here!"
"I see you two, I found some captives on the raider fulled tree over there."
"Well at least we can search for books on magic for you, wanna tag along... uh... I never asked your name."
"I'm Littlepip, and I guess I'll join you. It's not like me joining up with you will misalign events that would have lead to the wastes being purged of radiation."
"Nah, our mere presence here has already done that."
"What?"
"Hmm? I didn't say anything."
"Whatever, got anything for me to wear to protect me better than this stable barding?"
"Not really, but you can wear this amulet I found, it does nothing."
As he was giving the amulet to Littlepip Chaser noticed a faint golden aura surrounding the amulet, but write it off as a trick of the light. "Okay good to go?"
"Yeah those 'Stimpacks' are really quite something, even more potent than a healing potion."
"Hehe, I don't know what those are."
"Our equivalent of your Stimpacks, but I suggest we get going before it gets dark. I mean darker."
"We'll camp out in the library tonight and head towards the nearest town tomorrow."
"Ok." they then set off towards the library. Ten minutes later when they arrived Littlepip noticed a strange smell. "Wat's that smell?"
"I don't smell anything out of the ordinary."
"I can't smell. Period, stupid science experiment."
"It smells rank, like something died."
"Oh then it must be the raiders I killed."
"You want us to sleep in the same room as some ponies you killed?"
"We I was planning on chucking their corpses out the door first."
"And none of you see anything morally wrong with that?"
"I lived in the wastes since childhood, I'm accustomed to death."
"And I was born in an underwater city suffering from a massive infestation of insane genetically alters humans who had lighting and other offensive alterations made to their bodies so they could be more lethal."
"Sounds like you had a rough childhood."
"Yeah but at least I can shot lightning and fire from my hands, and send a swarm of locusts at my enemies."
"So why do you use handguns?"
"Because I can only use them when I'm drunk."
"Ah, that sucks."
"Yeah but I'm saving up for the constant use mutagen so I can use them even when I'm not intoxicated."
"Can we get back to discussing what you guys are going to do with these bodies? Please?"
"Fine. grab that one's feet and drag it outside we'll get the rest."
"Blergh. I really don't want to use my mouth to drag a corpse outside."
"Well then it stays. You either move it yourself or it stays where it is."
"By Celestia's benevolent cunt, you guys are assholes."
"No. we're just really lazy"
"Like I said, assholes."
"Just move the body so we can go to sleep sooner. I've already moved mine, also aren't you a unicorn?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Wait for it."
"OH! Of course I could just levitate the body outside. I'm such an idiot."
"Yes but you're our idiot."
"I don't have to follow you guys."
"Yes, but with us you'll be very well protected. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to mine the doorway."
"Why?"
"So no one sneaks up on us in our sleep."
"Okay, but all land mines have a disarm button on top of them."
"Yeah, but not Union land mines."
"Why not?"
"Because they only go off when a non-Union being comes within proximity."
"So what about me?"
"You are now an honourary citizen in the Union."
"What do I get out off it?"
"Access to our stat of the art medical facilities and residence in one of the cities."
"Cities?"
"Massive population centers where most of our populace resides."
"How many are there?"
"Twenty seven. Each one averaging around one hundred million civilians."
"I took note you said 'civilians' instead of humans. What exactly do you have living in your country?"
"Every sentient life form we've discovered that doesn't think we are inferior to them in every way."
"And you've encountered one of those?"
"Yes, they call themselves The Alliance. Not very big on allies though."
"They a threat?"
"A big one, but let's search the library." he took look around. "Or we could go to bed and pretend we didn't waste our time."
"Good idea. I've also mined the doorway."
"Right lets get some sleep, who knows what's in store for us tomorrow."
-----(In the void between universes)-----
"Right lets get some sleep, who knows what's in store for us tomorrow."
The all powerful being watching them laughed. "Oh but I do. MWAHAHAHAHA!!"
"LARRY! GO TO BED! NOW!"
"But Mom, I'm watching some idiots adventure in another dimension!"
"I don't want to hear any buts, mister. Now you're going to bed now so you can get up in time to go to your fathers coronation tomorrow."
"Bu-"
"I said no but! Now get to bed!"
"Yes mom." the all powerful being said in defeat as he turned off his Trans-Dimensional Viewer and went to bed.
View Online
Chapter Two: A New Day, A New Way To Screw Up
Chapter Two
-----(Littlepip person- I mean pony view)-----
"Mornin' Littlepip. I made breakfast, by which I mean I opened up some military rations."
"Military rations sure sounds better than two century old food."
"Yeah, they're surprisingly good. What are they anyway?"
"Five star gourmet meat dishes."
"Now I know you're joking."
"I'm not joking, look at the packaging."
"Huh. What do ya know, they really are five star. What sort of military gives its soldiers high quality rations?"
"The kind that likes extremely high morale."
"Then I love your country."
"Everyone does, we protect around two point six billion people."
"Now I know that's bullshit, there's only thirty million people in the wastes. No way can your country have over two billion."
"We have large amounts of land, highly advanced medical technology and a truly massive agriculture industry."
"How massive?"
"Around several hundred thousand square kilometers."
"Okay now I believe you."
"Why?"
"Anything with that much farmland is bound to be truly massive."
"Not even Equestria had that many ponies. Hell there weren't even that many sentient beings before the war."
"Well only forty percent are actually human, the rest are a mix of genetically engineered workers and wildlife that became so irradiated it developed sentience."
"You have monsters where you come from?"
"Yeah we do. Also aliens."
"How do you know that?"
"My friend the Lone Wanderer was abducted by aliens."
"I call bullshit. Does he have any proof?"
"Yes SHE has alien weaponry."
"Oh. Do you have any?"
"No, she left them back at her house."
"Why didn't she bring them?"
"Because she have time to get them when she was picked up in the Vertibird."
"What's a Vertibird?"
"Ex-Enclave air transport, re-purposed for the Brotherhood."
"I'm not even going to ask what either of those organizations are."
"Good idea, I'm not up to explaining about them." just the a knock sounded at the door. "Who knocks in a post apocalyptic wasteland?"
"Dunno, but you should probably answer it."
"Fine." as he was walking towards the door Johnathon pondered who it could be knocking. When he opened it he was surprised to see three alicorns standing outside the door. "Can I help you?"
"We're here for the male" they said in unison.
"I'm not really sure you want to try and kidnap him."
"Why not?" queried the three alicorns.
"Because I'm the Courier, also because he's from an insanely advanced super country with access to weapons which don't have fire modes, but rather levels of overkill."
"And?"
"I'm pretty sure his government wants him back."
"So?"
"We're from another dimension."
"So?"
"His government has whole fleets of airships at its disposal."
"And your point is?"
"They could probably figure out how to bridge the dimensional gap and attack this place in full force."
"The Goddess will take care of them."
"Or they'll unleash a firestorm of death on your planet and conquer it in the name the name of unification."
"We have talked enough, we shall take the male by force and dispose of you."
"HEY CHASER!"
"WHAT!"
"THERE'S SOME FEMALE ALICORNS WHO WANT TO KIDNAP YOU!"
"I'M COMING!"
"That was easy, we're still going to kill you."
"Or I'll just kill you with several well placed shots to the head." threatened Chaser. In response the alicorns raised shields.
"These shields are impenetrable, you cannot defeat us." to answer them Chaser shot them all through the head.
"Great impenetrable shields there hotshots."
"Good one liner."
"Thanks, I was thinking how to deliver it since they raised their shields."
"Think that pistols a tad over powered?"
"Nah, I had it set to maximum overkill. Should take about a day to recharge."
"Huh, a pistol with special abilities. This is starting to seem like some form of crappy MMORPG game."
"Yeah, but at least we're real." at that they both started laughing their asses off. Littlepip couldn't believe what she was seeing. These two had just gunned down some alicorns and were now laughing at a joke they made.
"THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PONIES!!" Littlepip shouted.
"Nothing, we're perfectly normal. For people who grew up outside the comfort of an underground super bunker that is."
"You're both crazy."
"Nah. We've just seen things that would make a lesser man drop dead from confusion."
"I'm gonna go finish my breakfast then we're heading towards New Appleloosa."
"What's that?"
"What my Pipbuck says is the nearest town to us. I'll never understand how it does that."
"Well my Pip-Boy does the same thing."
"What's a Pip-Boy?"
"A standard issue wrist mounted super computer with abilities that border on the impossible."
"Sorta sounds like a Pipbuck."
"Can you two stop talking about devices I am in current lack of?"
"But it's fun making you feel left out."
"I'm the only one here who can use their weapons easily, so don't push me."
"Fine, fine we'll stop talking about them. Now let's finish breakfast and move out."
"Good, I hope you both like steak."
"I don't think our new bodies can eat meat."
"That's nonsense, I ate some bloatsprite meat yesterday, and I'm perfectly fine."
"Well, then steak it is."
"By the way what does steak come from?"
"Cows."
"YOU EAT SENTIENT BEINGS!"
"Where we come from cows aren't sentient."
"There actually aren't any cows, period."
"No there's cows, their genetic codes were kept in a gene bank back in Aquos."
"Oh, so what you have access to infinitely more varieties of animals?"
"Yes, but we should really get a move on."
"Fine."
After finishing their steak breakfast the trio headed off towards the town of New Appleloosa. On the way The Couriers loot sense started to tingle. Writing it off as nothing he continued walking towards New Appleloosa, when suddenly he felt the presence of an incredibly high value cache of loot.
"Why'd you stop Johnathon?"
"Loot." was all he replied before running off towards an abandoned factory.
"Should we go after him?"
"Nah, I'm sure he'll be fine. He did survive being shot point blank in the head."
"Okay, that officially makes him immortal."
"Nonsense, he ages like normal people, I think."
"Well let's head into New Appleloosa then. He should be able to find us right?"
"Probably. If not then he can handle himself."
-----(Back at base camp)-----
"Think we should do something other than watch movies and eat popcorn?" one the Initiates lounging around base camp asked.
"Nah." replied another. "It's not like we've got anything else to do."
"Good point, and cue the explosions." suddenly a large number of explosions could be heard in the distance.
"What was that?"
"I rigged up a fuckton of satchel charges in the tree line last night."
"Why?"
"I was bored."
"How many did you use?"
"All of them."
"Most of the tree line is gone isn't it?"
"Probably." they decided to switch to an observation drone exploring a desert to see if anything interesting was happening.
"Are those Deathclaws?"
"No little humans." explained the sentient Deathclaw that accompanied the Warrior. "Those appear to be mutated wildlife."
"I'm still not comfortable having a Deathclaw here."
"And yet you don't mind the robot." chimed in Rx-44 from where was setting up a long range scanner/communications array.
"You're a sentient robot, be lucky we aren't trying to reverse engineer you."
"Point taken."
"So should we shoot them with missiles for fun?"
"Oh look, those winged unicorn thingies."
"And it looks like they're attacking those Deathclaw knock offs. Wanna shoot them?"
"Sure."
"Definitely."
"11001101010100011010. Take that bitches."
"I can translate binary you know."
"Oh shit."
"Yeah, I actually can't. Just wanted to see how you would react."
"Smartass."
"Hehe, stupid winged unicorn thingies, shields won't protect you from missiles." one of the initiates chuckled to himself as he launched missiles at the alicorns attacking the hellhounds.
"Stop shooting the inhabitants of this world with near WMD status ordnance."
"But it's fun."
"And we can see the explosions from here."
"Fine. Spoil sport."
"Right now that's out of the way, who wants to play a LAN match?"
"We don't have any consoles duffus."
"I meant who wants to shoot random creatures with LAN rifles in a match to see who can kill the most."
"Oh, that sounds much better. What should the points system be?"
"Well..."
Whilst the Initiates, NCR troopers, and Union Marines were setting out the rules for their game, The Warrior, Lone Wanderer and Xyfor the Deathclaw were planning how to best survive in the new world they found themselves on. Whiile they were scanning topographical readings the deathclaw noticed an old military research base swarming with alicorns as well as a settlement filled those strange deathclaws.
"I vote we send out a party to make allies with some of the locals."
"Good idea, we need to make allies if we are to survive here."
"Good I'll head up a team to contact those deformed deathclaws and see if they're sentient or not."
"Why you?"
"Because I can handle them with ease if they were to attack."
"Well then I'm coming along."
"Fine, just try not to kill everything that moves."
Suddenly there was an uproarious cheer coming from the others. "Wat are they up to?" asked the Wanderer.
"I think they finished planning their little game."
"Well they better not be planning on going to that desert place."
"We're gonna go kill things in that desert place."
"I just had to speak didn't I?"
"Could be worse."
"And you're not gonna say why it could be worse aren't you?"
"Yes, because I don't want it to get worse."
"Nope."
"What?"
"You can go hunting in that forest over there, I'm gonna go head into that desert to see if those deformed deathclaws are sentient."
"Ok."
After walking away disappointedly the Initiates told the others they couldn't go into the desert by order of Xyfor they all wandered off into the forest.
"Isn't that the forest with that blue flower?"
"I'm sure they're not that stupid... OH SHIT WE'VE GOTTA GO BRING THEM BACK!" he suddenly exclaimed running towards the forest after the initiates.
"Hey Fawkes, wanna help me build some turrets?"
"Sure,my new found brothers have agreed to share their knowledge with me."
"Ok. I don't think those Union guys would mind if we used one of those Railguns they have do you?"
"Probably not."
"Good, because once I know this base can be protected with just the initiates and NCR troopers then we can go exploring."
"That sounds like a most excellent idea."
-----(Outside New Appleloosa)-----
"You know I was honestly expecting us to be shot at by a pegasus for something."
"Well if you half expect things they'll never happen. Nah I'm just messing with you, it probably would've happened if you were wearing some armor from those raiders and I didn't force you to cross that completely solid rickety bridge."
"I'm still going to blame you if something bad happens."
"But it won't." he said as a sniper round pierced his wing. "Just had to speak didn't I?" he said before collapsing in pain.
"It's ok miss, you're save from whatever that alicorn was planning to do to you."
"Um, you just shot the stallion who saved my live in the wing."
"Well he quite clearly saved you so he could force to become part of that unity crap."
"I'll have you know the Union could easily kick your ass." Chaser retorted whilst his face was in the dirt.
"Well you can tell your 'Goddess' where she can shove her unity." the stranger said whilst levelling his shotgun at Chasers head.
"I don't know who the fuck this stupid Goddess is you freaks, I just want to go home and forgot I ever came to this stupid dimension in the first place."
"You aren't fooling me with you lies you filthy alicorn."
"Aren't all alicorns generally female Calamity?" asked a strange pony walking towards them from the town.
"Your point being?"
"This one's a male and quite clearly doesn't have any magic."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you'd be dead if it did."
"I'm right here you know." pointed out Chaser.
"Be quite we're having a discussion you good for nothing alicorn."
"I'm a human and if you speak to me like that again I'm shooting you."
"You and what army?"
"The guy standing behind you with the minigun."
Calamity slowly turned around to see the stallion behind him did indeed have a minigun, as well as some strange four barreled missile launcher. "Well you can't use then without a battle saddle so you're shit outta luck, pardner."
""Does anyone even know I'm here?" asked Littlepip.
"GAH! Where did you come from?" Calamity exclaimed in surprise.
"I've been standing here the entire time, you even acknowledged me after you shot Chaser."
"Oh, this is slightly awkward." just then Xyfor skidded to a halt right next to them.
"Excuse me. But have you seen a small group of humans running around here?"
"No, we haven't. Now get out of here before I shoot you hellhound."
"I'll have you know I'm a very well respected Deathclaw scientist in the ranks of the Brotherhood of Steel."
"The hell's a Deathclaw?"
"Me, but if you don't mind I have a group of idiots to catch up to. I have the feeling they've already done something stupid." and with that he ran off in a random direction.
"Strange things are happening around here."
"Yes, first the Steel Rangers ran past the town in a blind panic then this lots shows up. Something is clearly going on here."
"Can I get some medical attention now?" groaned Chaser.
"Fine, we can finish this discussion once you're fully healed."
"Good,just get the stimpacks outta my pack and then inject one into my wing."
"Ok. What's a stimpack?"
"Advanced medicinal technology designed to heal most any wound."
"Oh, why don't you have any healing potions?"
"Because the last potion I drank ended up with me having my lungs replaced. Though now I don't really need to breath."
"Well I'm gonna inject ya now, so hold still." Calamity said whilst preparing an abnormally large stimpack. A few seconds after injecting Chaser, Calamity looed confused. "Shouldn't something be happening by now?"
"Did you press the injector?"
"Oh, didn't see that." he said before pressing the injector making a hissing sound emanate from it. Watching in awe as Chasers wing quickly and efficiently healed itself Calamity spoke up. "So I take your not from around these parts?"
"Not even from the same dimension."
"Dimension?"
"We aren't from your world, well except Littlepip here, we sorta saved her from by cannibalism."
"Well, then you're ok in my book." he said whilst Chaser stood back up. "Say ya want me to rig up a battle saddle for your weapons?"
"Sure, I'd really like to be able to use these weapons."
"Certainly, should only take me a day to make you one."
"Brilliant, in the mean time I'll just kick that wall over there." he said whilst walking towards a wall that was left over from a pre-war house.
"I honestly don't think that will do any good."
"Well I'm bored so it'll suffice." He said whilst preparing to kick the wall.
"If ya say so, don't go crying to me if you break a bone." just then The Courier unleashed a kick on the wall which sent it flying back several meters.
"You were saying?"
"Why aren't you hurt?"
"Saturnite reinforced bones. I knew those floating brains were good for something."
"Whats Saturnite?"
"A redundantly strong alloy designed by the think tank, also conducts heat very well."
"Well. We'd better take you to the clinic to see if you have any lasting damage."
-----(At City One in the first dimension)-----
"So basically what you're saying is that one of our most promising Lieutenants is now effectively trapped in another dimension?"
"Yes sir."
"Well the I'm reactivating project Nimbus and you are going to take the 3rd Fleet intoo the dimension he's trapped in and bring him back, then set up relations with the local sentient lifeforms. Am I understood?"
"Yes sir. It will take an estimated twenty days to find the dimension he's in, and a further six days until we can extablish a permanent connection."
"Good, in the mean time I shall be ordering an increase in the production of handheld Ion Rifles and Ceramide Power Suits and I shall also order the construction of two Tormentor Main Battle tanks. Dismissed!"
After closing the holo link General Adam-Lieu sighed. "Great, another Indonesia Incident. well I should probably order an O.N.E.C to provide orbital support in the other dimension."
-----(At the New Appleloosa clinic)-----
Chaser suddenly shuddered as a cold chill when down his spine. "Oh come off it t now, my alcoholic medicines aren't that bad."
"It's not that, I think someone mentioned an O.N.E.C."
"What's that?"
"A weapon of unimaginable power, designed to bring unending fire power to the battlefield."
"Oh, that sounds dangerous."
"Yeah, but it's orbitally based."
"Huh, I guess I'm drunker than I thought I was, coz it sounded like you just said you have access to orbital weaponry."
"That's because I did say my government has orbital weapons platforms."
"Damn, where's this government of yours reside anyway?"
"Another planet."
"I'm most definitely drunk if I'm talking to an alien alicorn."
""I'm not really an alicorn, just touched a blue flower and got turned into this."
"You survived poison joke? Damn you're lucky." just then Xyfor burst into the room.
"No one panic! The initiates have just been turned into dragons."
"And the Troopers?"
"Dragons."
"And the Marines?"
"Even bigger dragons, that breath smaller dragons."
"Really?"
"No."
"Aww."
"They got turned into griffons."
"Well at least they'll have the use of hands."
"Well I', just gonna let the others know, also Griffoth should be stopping by soon."
"Ok." and with that Xyfor rushed out of the room and headed towards base camp.
"You know some truly strange creatures." remarked Calamity.
"I'm still concerned as to how he keeps finding me."
"Good point."
View Online
Captain Overpowered travels to Fallout: Equestria
Captain Over Powered travels to Fallout: Equestria
This in no way relates to the actual story I'm writing, it's just something to make you laugh.
One day the legendary Captain Overpowered decided to repair an old watch he found in the wastes. After zealously using duct tape and toasters he had finally finished repairing it.
"Finally! I have an accurate way to tell time. Now I just need to wind it."
After winding the watch for a minute he begins to hear a faint humming sound. "Hmm. I should probably go show off my new watch to everyone at the Lucky 38, I'm sure they'll love it. But just to be safe I'm taking some weapons." after inputting the password to his vault Captain Overpowered picked out his favourite handguns and body armor. "Ah there's nothing like a good old .44 Magnum to really brighten up your day, Nor is there anything like a good old S&W .500 hunting revolver." after thinking for a second he also grabbed his trusty Anti-material Rifle just to show off even more.
After kicking in the front doors to the Lucky 38, Captain Overpowered decided to hunt down the Courier and show off his watch to him first. Whilst searching for the Courier one of the patrons of the casino accidentally spilt her drink on Captain Overpowereds new watch causing it to short out. "You stupid bitch! That was my new watch! Do you know how much duct tape it took to repair this thing?" just as he was about the back and her there was a sudden flash and he found himself outside and surrounded by pastel coloured ponies. "Oh I knew i didn't use enough duct tape. So, what's there to do here?"
"Run it's an alien!!"
"I'm no alien. Oh look a winged unicorn thingie!! I'm gonna kill it." And with that he leaped at the alicorn that was flying past the town several hundred meters away and tackled it down to the ground. "Say hello to your untimely demise unlucky creature!" after launching a punch at the alicorn there was a sudden flash and she was standing twenty meters away as his fist impacted the ground, causing a massive shock wave to emanate from the point of impact, easily destroying most things within an eighteen meter radius around him. "So you can teleport, eh? Well two can play at that game." he said whilst drawing out one of the .22 revolvers he always keeps in his boots and took aim. "Say hello to my .22 revolver!" he shouted at fifty times the volume of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
After recovering from the volume of his shout the alicorn saw him taking aim and quickly strafed left to avoid being shot. In the distance behind her one of the many mountains around Canterlot explode in a massive fireball of rocks and fire.
"What sort of weapon is that?" the alicorn shouted at Captain Overpowered as he took aim again.
"It's just my crappy .22 revolver. Now if you'll just stand still I won;t have to use my .44 Magnum on you."
Realizing she couldn't win the alicorn did the only thing she could: teleport away.
(At the Goddesses lair)
The Goddess was carefully manipulating the memories of Blackjack when one of her servants teleported into the room. "Goddess there is an alien with weaponry that makes a megaspell look like a child's toy running around. We must stop it."
"Its weapons cannot be that powerful."
Look at my memories, one shot from its weakest weapon exploded a mountain."
After looking at the alicorns memories the Goddess contemplated this new threat. "I shall send as many serv-" suddenly the entire facility shock incredibly violently shaking parts of it into piles of rubble. "WHAT WAS THAT!!" demanded the Goddess.
"It was the alien using its next weapon to kill a Changeling." one of her alicorns answered her telepathically.
"I think this new enemy calls for a massive alliance of the powers."
"It just destroyed the Enclave." telepathically cried one alicorn. "Its ripping apart manehatten." Cried another.
"How can it move so fast?"
"Maybe it is true to it's namesake, Captain Overpowered."
"You called?" rang out a voice from nowhere in particular.
"Who are you and what do you want?"
"I just want to fix my watch and show it off to my friends."
"Then why are you here?"
"Some clumsy bitch spilt her drink on it causing it to send me here." he said as he stepped out from a patch of shadows that existed in the center of the brightly light room.
"What do you need to fix it?"
"All the duct tape in this world."
"O-okay." whimpered the Goddess, never had she encountered a being with such power, not even the elements could stop it.
"Okay I'll be back in three hours to collect the duct tape." the said whilst walking back into the shadows in the middle of the floor, which promptly disappeared when he entered them.
"All alicorns are hereby ordered to collect all the duct tape they find!" the Goddess telepathically ordered.
(In Hoofington)
I don't really see how that was supposed to be a challenge." the Captain replied whilst collecting his earning from a very confused Rampage.
"But how didn't they hurt you?"
"Because I'm wearing my lucky glove."
"Okay... backing away from the weirdo now."
"I wonder if my Anti-Material Rifle can puncture one of those towers." he wondered aloud as he took his AM rifle off his back and took aim. "This may get loud little pony."
"What do you me-" Rampage was asking when a deafening boom echoed around the Hoof. "What the buck was that!" she yelled at the Captain.
"I was just shooting one of the towers. not that there's any left though."
"What are you talking about?" just then she caught site of the massive crater that rested where Hoofington once resided.
"Oh no wonder, I'm using surplus ammo, not Explosive."
"I'm just gonna run away as fast as I can."
"You do that." he replied whilst loading .50BMG explosive rounds.
(On the outskirts of Hoofington)
Blackjack thought she could she Rampage running towards her at subsonic speeds. "Is that you rampage?" she asked as the red and white blur ran past her. All she got in reply was "Gotta run, alien with planet ending firepower loading explosive rounds. Gottagobye."
"That was weird." she thought as she looked up to see massive explosion rip forth from where Hoofington once stood. "That doesn't look good." she said to herself as she was picked up by the shock wave and hurled away at speeds faster than rampage was travelling.
(At Tenpony Tower)
All the residents were looking out the windows at the massive explosion emanating from the Hoof. "Oh that doesn't bode well for the rest of us." one of the residents remarked as Blackjack suddenly flew through a nearby window.
"I think we're all gonna die horrible explosion related deaths today." she said aloud as she was healed by her internal healing talisman.
(At the newly formed Grand Hoofington Canyon)
"Ah a bug!!" shouted the Captain as he was a bloatsprite floating lazily towards him. "Taste the wrath of my 9MM pistol." he said as he took aim with his 9MM pistol. Once he had a clear shot he pulled the trigger.
(At an ancient Pre-war space station)
One of the stations AIs spotted a massive explosion ripping across the surface of the planet. "That does not tide well for the survivours." was all it said before the explosion reached the station travelling at nineteen million times the speed of light.
(Back at the Lucky 38)
"So you accidentally spilt your drink on his new watch and then he went to backhand you and vanished into thin air?"
"Yes he did." suddenly there was a deafening boom and a flash as Captain Overpowered reappeared in front of them.
"You would not believe what I just went through to back hand this bitch for wrecking my watch." the Captain said before backhanding the woman who wrecked his watch through several buildings and into the Gun Runners compound.
The End.
A little sidefic to sate your appetites until I finish chapter two.
I'm putting this on hiatus because I'm going do an entirely different approach which involves ACTUALLY planning out what I'm going to write, So until I can get some basic drafts up and maybe set down a base story I will remove this from hiatus and post more chapters. Also I might make a new story to tide you over so you don't down vote the fuck out of this story.
I can't be bothered finishing this story, also I have absolutely no idea where to take the story too nor how to get it there if i were to figure out where it is going. So all in all this is cancelled and you can fight over who gets to continue it or rewrite and continue from where I left off.
P.S I'm also releasing the unfinished Chapter Two, enjoy.