It's Always the Quiet Ones
Fluttershy paced around the interior of her cottage. She was bored out of her mind! The only thing she could imagine doing was murder, but who? It surely would take all the stress from her, but she was just unsure who she could kill. She thought.
"Hmm... That Cranky Doodle Donkey sure is a pain in the ass... Haha, get it Angel? Cause he's literally an ass?" Fluttershy joked, still pacing. Angel just stared at her with a blank face. His tummy grumbled, and being a great care taker, she gave him the leftovers of a snake's head she had murdered last week. Surprisingly, Angel gobbled up the head as blood gushed. Fluttershy got a rag and cleaned up the red chunky mess that once was a snake, and confirmed she would murder Cranky Doodle donkey. She head out and went to ask Pinkie where Cranky lived.
Pinkie entered sugar cube corner, greeted by a bouncing Pinkie, a wide smile on her face. "Hey Pinkie, you mind telling me where Cranky Doodle Donkey lives? He wanted me to come over for tea... but he never gave out his address. I'd be very glad if you could help me... If that's alright..." She said in her soft voice, blushing.
"Okie dokie lokie! He lives on the 4th house to the right!" Pinkie chimed of great use to the yellow Pegasus who stood before her. Fluttershy thanked the pink pony and was on her way. When she arrived at the Donkey's house, instead of knocking, she broke in while the two donkeys- Cranky and Matilda- were in the middle of an intercourse. Fluttershy, an evil smile on her face, broke into the bedroom and pulled a chainsaw out of her mane. She put a padlock on the door and locked it, ready for some gory stress relief. Cranky's dong was all the way in Matilda, and he couldn't pull out as Fluttershy cut it out of him, leaving the bloody penis inside Matilda. They both shrieked in horror as Fluttershy went for his balls next, leaving his goo everywhere. Matilda was crying with fear as she cut of her tail next, then ears. Fluttershy rammed the chainsaw in Matilda's eyes, destroying all her senses and killing her. Cranky was the one crying now as Fluttershy pulled out a knife and slowly cut his heart out. She then used their shower to rinse herself from evidence, and left with only the knife. She had plenty more chainsaws at home, and went there. She cried, realizing the horrible thing she just did. She wasn't able to control herself these days, and refused mental care from any pony.
The next day, everyone was horrified of the news. The mortician, Cinder Dusk, carried the bodies away, removing Cranky's genitals from poor Matilda's body in tragedy and disgust. Pinkie was the most suspicious, she wondered if it was Fluttershy but was always told back on the old rock farm not to make assumptions. The Police were supposed to investigate next week, so the house that belonged to the asses was now off limits.
Religious ponies prayed, and family to the asses mourned. "This case will be solved soon my dear.." Matilda's grandma said to her crying mom. The news was featured everywhere, even in Canterlot! Most of the details weren't told to the fillies and colts, for obvious reasons.
