We Broke the Universe

by Radapony64

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 18172

My first story ever, it is a tale about three friends as they journey through Equestria.

This is the story of a group of friends and their journey through the land of Equestria. They are literally dropped in a few days before the Summer Sun Celebration, and let loose into the world to find each other and ride the storyline. They embark on known adventures and new ones, meeting new and old friends, and brutalizing something whenever the opportunity arises. Welcome to what happens when the universe is broken.

Published 2012-11-01 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-12 19:08:32 UTC

Breaking Reality

“Pfft, Ponies,” Adam scoffed at his friends. “I still can’t believe you two watch that show.”

“I think if you just gave it a chance…” Zack suggested.

“Then what? I’d end up being a pony lover like you two? I’d start saying friendship is magic and shit like that? Hell no.”

“You don’t know until you try,” Will told him. “You may end up liking it as much as we do.”

“It's not gonna happen.” Adam said bluntly.

“You should really just give it a shot…” Zack tried once more.

“Give it up Zack, it’s obvious he’s never going to understand.” Will said before silence engulfed the Xbox Live Party.

“AAAGH” Adam grunted, breaking the silence. “THIS IS SOOOOO BORING! How about we go play some Halo?”

“Sounds good to me,” Zack said. “You coming Will?”

“Yea, sure. Why not?”

After a few matches of Halo, most of which involved Adam kicking ass and Will getting his ass kicked, Adam bid Zack and Will farewell before leaving the party and signing offline.

“Why do you think he hates it so much?” Will asked as he started up a new game of Halo.

“What? That map? It’s too open for him. He likes close quarters brutality.” Zack stated.

“Not what I meant but good to know. I meant; why do you think he hates MLP?”

“Oh… That…” Zack sighed, “I think it’s because he thinks it’s girly.”

“He could still at least try watching it. If he watched it maybe he wouldn’t be so bitter and shit.”

“You have to remember this is Adam we’re talking about…” Zack reminded him.

“I know, I know.” Will said. “It still wouldn’t hurt for him to at least try it.”

“You realize that it’s more likely for us to be transported to Equestria and turned into ponies than it is for Adam to try the show?” Zack said jokingly.

“Hehe, that’ll be the day.” Will agreed.
________________________________________________________________________

That night as Adam was sleeping, a strange dream materialized in his head. It felt as if it was real, but it surely wasn’t. In the dream, Adam saw himself laughing with his friends while watching something on TV. He turned to see what he was watching, only to catch a glimpse of cartoon figures in the shape of horses.

He startled awake in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as if he had just seen a ghost. He looked around his room to make sure he was awake before slapping himself for good measure.

“What was that?” Adam thought to himself. “What kind of dream was that?” He tried hard to remember what he had seen. Dreams had meaning in his eyes so a bit of frustration for some clarity was a good trade-off. “I was sitting on my couch watching something. It was animated; now if only that narrowed it down. It looked more cartoon than anything and that definitely narrows it down.” In a moment, he suddenly remembered the character designs as being horses. “Was I watching My Little Pony? No . There’s now way that was it. I’d never watch that show. It's way too girly for me....But it did make me laugh...Ah screw this, it's not every night I actually sleep.’ He checked to see what time it was and thought he could squeeze in a few more hours of sleep.

________________________________________________________________________

The Next Day

As Adam got online, he kept thinking about the dream he had the previous night. What had it meant? Should he try the show? If he did, what would his friends think? No, he couldn’t give them the satisfaction of being right. As he kept debating whether he should try it or not, Will joined his party.

“Heyyyyyy Adam.” Will said in their traditional greeting.

“Heyyyyyy Will.” Adam responded, still debating whether he should try the show or not.

“Wanna play Minecraft?

“Nah, I think I’m going to go on Youtube.” Adam said, finally deciding to at least watch the first episode, already regretting his decision.

“What are you going to watch?” Will inquired

“Stuff.” Adam said in a sing-song tone, not wanting Will to know he was trying the show.

“What kinda stuff?”

“Just, stuff.”

“You know they don’t allow porn on Youtube.”

“You just have to know where to look." Adam responded sarcastically

“Suuuuuure."

“Whatever."

They both began laughing. As Adam searched for the first episode, Zack got online and joined their party.

“Hey Zack.” Will greeted.

“Hello.” Zack greeted back in his usual monotone. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, but I think Adam’s annoyed about something.”

“Oh?” Zack said, “What’s wrong Adam? Are you still sad that Youtube has no porn?”

“Laugh it up smart one, I found some last night!" He responded as he found what he was actually looking for.

As Adam selected the first episode, his screen went black. He saw that his Xbox was still on, and was about to check if his friends were still on.

“What was that?” Will asked. “My screen just went black.”

“Mine too,” Zack said as he tried to turn his tv back on. “My tv isn’t off though.”

“Neither is mine,” Adam said, just a clueless as the others.

Suddenly, a bright flash came from the TVs, engulfing the rooms and the people inside. The three friends shielded their eyes as they suddenly found themselves plummeting towards the ground.

“Holy craaaaaapppppp!” Zack screamed.

“Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt!!” Will yelled.

“Fuck my liiiiiiiiiiiiiffeee!!” Adam yelled.

Zack landed first, crashing near a mountain with what looked like a city perched on the side. Will and Adam landed around the same time, with Will landing near a village and Adam landing in a dense forest.

Will groaned as he tried to stand, but found his center of balance off and his muscles unable to move from the fall. He managed to open his eyes a bit to see something standing on the edge of the crater he had made.

“Are you ok?” A sweet voice said, presumably from the strange figure.

“I… I don’t think so…” Will managed to mumble before darkness engulfed him.

Rude Awakening

Princess Celestia had never seen anything like it in all her years as ruler of Equestria. The previous night, seemingly out of nowhere, a number of meteors plummeted to the ground, scattering all over Equestria. She had sent a group of Royal Guards to investigate one that had landed near Canterlot, hoping to discover what had caused such a sudden occurrence. But when her guards returned, they were carrying the unconscious body of a strange pony.

“Who is that?” asked the Princess, “Was he hit by the meteor?”

“No, your Highness, we believe he was the meteor,” said the head pony. “We found him lying in the crater, unconscious. There was no sign of anything else hitting the ground.”

“Take him to the interrogation room,” ordered Celestia. “I want to have some words with him.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” responded the guard as he and the other guards took the strange pony to the prison for questioning.

Zack awoke on a cold floor in a small room. The room was square, and the walls were smooth steel. A door in the corner, also of steel, was the only thing in the room besides a large mirror on one wall.

“Oh… My head…” Zack moaned, reaching for his head to try and sooth the headache he woke up with. But when he tried to move his fingers, he was shocked to find he had none. In fact, he did not have a hand, but a hoof.

“What… in the world…” Zack asked himself, curiously examining the hoof that had replaced his hand. As he looked over the hoof, flame-orange hair fell into his eyes, making him sweep it away.

“Wait, my hair isn’t orange. And it isn’t that long.” Zack said, suddenly realizing that having hooves wasn’t the only thing amiss. He looked around the room and spotted the large mirror on the wall, quickly racing over to it. He stood frozen as his jaw dropped.

A steel grey pony stared back at him.

“There’s no way…” Zack said in disbelief, seeing it as impossible for him to be a pony. He quickly examined himself and found the reflection did not lie. He was a steel grey unicorn with a flame-orange mane. He also had strange orange swirls decorating his body. His tail was short and straight, as was his mane. He noticed, however, that he was lacking a cutie mark.

“Well, that’s strange,” Zack thought aloud, thinking that lacking a cutie mark was somehow stranger than being turned into a pony. “Wait a minute,” Zack uttered, “This must be a dream. So all I need to do is wake up.” Zack began slapping, pinching, and suffocating himself trying to wake up, but to no avail. He sighed and at that moment the steel door opened and two other ponies, dressed in armor, entered the room.

“Oh… Hello…” Zack said cautiously, examining the armor the two guards were wearing. He was sure he had seen it before, but he couldn’t remember exactly where. As he tried to place where he had seen the armor, a large, white pony with a flowing multi-colored mane entered the room, making the two guards bow at her presence.

“Princess Celestia…” Zack said disbelievingly, shocked that the first pony he met was the princess herself.
“Yes, I am Princess Celestia of Equestria.” The Princess said in a royal, but sweet voice. “And who are you?”

“My name is Zack,” Zack answered.

“Hmm… Zack… That’s a strange name.” Celestia said curiously, “Where are you from?”

“I…” Zack said before realizing the Princess would not understand where he was from. He started thinking of what he could tell her when she interrupted his thought.

“Are you alright?” She asked, concerned.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just have a headache, that’s all.” Zack said, thinking he could blame not knowing where he was from on amnesia.

“Ok, so may I know where you’re from?” she asked a second time.

“I… I don’t know…” Zack said, hoping she would buy his act.

“You don’t know where you’re from?” Celestia asked confusedly.

“I don’t remember much of anything…” Zack continued, “I remember waking up in here, but I can’t remember anything before that.”

“But you knew your name, and mine.” Celestia pointed out.

“Crap, has she caught me?” he thought “Better play the safe route…if this could even be called one.”
Zack responded, “Well, you’re pretty hard to forget, what with you being the princess and all.”

“True, but I suppose your memory isn’t completely gone then, is it?”

“No, I suppose not.” He replied before going back to thinking. “I suppose amnesia’s as good an excuse as any for this scenario.”

“Good, then do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“I’ll answer as best as I can.” Zack said, careful not to screw up his plan.

“Alright then,” Celestia started, “Where did the meteors come from?”

“Meteors?” Zack asked, truly perplexed. “I don’t remember any meteors.”

“Well, my guards found you lying in the crater of one. They believe that you fell from the sky, but I told them that that’s just nonsense.” Celestia said with a chuckle. “So tell me, did you fall from the sky as my men claim?”

“I think so,” Zack said, “I remember falling just before going unconscious.”

“Alright, next question then,” She said.

“Either she is completely oblivious or just trying to troll me. Either way, at the moment she seems to not be suspicious. Kind of wish Luna was here, though…she could sort of kind of relate to the situation I am in…Okay, maybe not, but still…” He thought before a thought occurred to him.

“Wait,” Zack said suddenly, “Were there any other meteors?”

“Yes. There were quite a few. You were the closest to Canterlot so I dispatched my guards to investigate. The closest one after you landed near Ponyville, and the third closest appears to have landed somewhere in the Everfree Forest.” Celestia answered. “Why? Are those meteors ponies as well?”

“They may be…” Zack said, before pausing to collect his thoughts. “Could those two be Adam and Will? If they are, then at least I am not alone in this situation. Maybe-”. Zack continued thinking until he realized that the princess was still there.

“Oh, I’m sorry… I was sort of lost in thought,” Zack apologized before contemplating his options. After a few seconds, he chose the best. “Is there any way I might leave for Ponyville? I’d like to investigate the other meteors.”

“I was just about to suggest that. But I’d like you to meet my star pupil first. She will be leaving soon to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville, and should prove to be quite useful to you if you wish to find out about the other meteors.”
Zack’s thoughts began racing with this new realization. “Wait…I was flung into THIS part of the timeline? I guess that explains the absence of Luna…for now at least. Well, this is going to be weird yet awesome to live out in pers…erm, pony. But that can only mean only one thing…”
“Okay,” Zack finally said, “What’s her name?”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“Time to embrace social awkwardness…now where did I put my jar of patience...” He thought with a mild sigh.

Wrong Side of the Bed

As the sun rose over the horizon, Will finally awoke from his sleep. He felt as if he had been hit by a truck, every part of him hurting and aching. He strained to turn over in his bed and look out the window. Everything seemed normal, with the sun slowly rising and beginning to light up the landscape. But as the land became illuminated, Will noticed something odd. Everything was extremely colorful. Too colorful. In fact, the room he was in was much too vibrant for his tastes.

As he tried to figure out why everything was so bright, a wave of pain spread through his head. Will quickly threw up his hand to try and sooth the pain, but something hard hit him in the side of the head. As he turned to see what had hit him, he found that it was his hand. But it was not a hand, but a hoof, that was responsible.

“Holy shit!” Will yelled in surprise, making him jump out of bed only to find it made him ache more. As he settled back down in bed, he heard a noise behind him and saw a door was being opened. From the hallway stepped a brown pony with a grey mane, wearing a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

“No. Fucking. Way…” Will said in disbelief.

“Ah, good. You’re awake,” the pony said, “I was starting to think you weren’t going to wake up.”

“Where am I?” Will asked.

“You’re in the hospital. I understand you took quite a nasty fall,” the pony answered, “You’re lucky Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were nearby. They rushed you right over he-”

“Wait, who?” Will asked, sure he had misheard him.

“Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. The two pegasi that brought you here after you crashed?”

“Where exactly am I?!” Will asked hastily.

“You’re in the Ponyville Hospital, room 16. You’ve been here a couple of days, but you only just woke up.”

“Is this… Equestria?” Will asked disbelievingly.

“Why yes, of course,” the pony said, slightly confused, “Where else would you be?”

Will looked around the room, trying to find anything he could see himself in. He spotted a mirror hanging on the far wall and started to get up, only to fall back over in pain.

“Woah, you better stay in bed,” the doctor pony warned, “You don’t want to strain yourself before your wounds have healed.”

“I need to see my reflection,” Will groaned, trying to ignore the pain throughout his body. “I need to get to that mirror.”

“So stubborn. I’ll get it for you,” the doctor offered, trotting over to the mirror and taking it off the wall. He brought it to the foot of Will’s bed so he could look at himself.

“No fucking way…” Will said as he tested to make sure the reflection was indeed his.

In the mirror, a black pony with a black and green mane was staring back at Will with green eyes. Will raised a hoof up to his head and felt a handful of thick hair, which flowed over his face and ended in spikes Suddenly, his eyes went wide and he quickly looked under the blanket to examine himself.

“Oh thank god,” Will sighed in relief as he saw that he was a stallion. He lowered the blanket and looked back to the mirror, where the bright green eyes continued to stare at him. He then saw the doctor looking at him with a confused look on his face.

“What a strange fellow,” the doctor muttered before taking out a clipboard and pen, “Now then, I must ask you a few questions.”

“Alright,” Will said as he continued looking himself over. He looked on his back to find he had a pair of black wings, one of them bandaged up. “Ask away,” he said, distracted by his new wings.

“What is your name?” the pony began, holding his pen up ready to write.

“Will,” Will answered, spreading the one functional wing with muscles he didn’t know he had. He also had a green patch of hair on his flank that looked like an acid stain.

“Alright then Will, where are you from?” the pony asked as he wrote down Will’s name.

“North Carolina,” Will answered before realizing the doctor would have no idea where that is.

“North Carolina? I’ve never heard of it.” the doctor said as he wrote it down on his clipboard. “Alright then, one final question.”

“Alright.”

“Where will you be staying in Ponyville?”

“Excuse me?” Will asked, turning his attention away from his wing.

“Where will you be staying in Ponyville?” the doctor asked again.

“No clue.”

“He can stay with me,” a voice said as someone entered the room. “That is, if he can still fly.”

“Will, I’d like you to meet one of your saviors. Miss Rainbow Dash.”

“Rain… Rainbow…” Will stuttered, staring in disbelief at the blue pony standing next to the doctor.

“Rainbow Dash,” Rainbow Dash said slowly, pronouncing each syllable, trying to make the black pony understand her name.

“I know what your name is, I just can’t believe it’s really you…” Will explained, still staring at the rainbow mane that fell over Dash’s face.

“Oh, you’ve heard of me?” Rainbow Dash said excitedly, throwing her front hooves over the end of the bed..

“Something like that, yeah.” Will said, sure she wouldn’t believe the truth.

“When can he come with me, Doc?” Rainbow Dash asked as she turned to the doctor.

“Hold on one moment,” he said as he went over to Will and placed his horn on Will’s head. It started to glow brightly and Will felt the pain start to subside.

“There, you should be good to go now,” the doctor said as he removed the bandage around Will’s wing. “Just take it easy for a while. We don’t want you to hurt something else now do we,” he said with a chuckle.

“Sure thing.” Will said with a hint of sarcasm. “I’d never do anything dangerous or something like that.” he continued as he flexed both wings. “Thanks Doc.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” The doctor said with a smile. “You’re free to go. But please try to take it easy. No more falling from the sky.”

“I will, thanks.” Will said as he watched the brown pony leave the room.

“Alrighty then, let’s show you where you’ll be staying.” Dash said, grabbing Will’s hoof and pulling him to the window.

“What are you doing?” Will asked with mild panic as she opened the window and pushed him to the edge.

“Well, my house is in the sky. So we need to fly there.” Rainbow Dash said as she smiled and kicked Will out the window.

“I don’t think this is what the doctor meant by taking it easy!” Will screamed as he started plummeting to the ground.

Adam opened his eyes to find he was lying in a small crater. Looking around, he saw tall willow trees surrounded the crater, Blocking it slightly from aerial view. Adam groaned as a pain shot through his head.
"FUCK!" Still not the worst headache I've had this week." He moaned.

“Ugh, I knew it was a shitty idea to watch that show,” Adam moaned as he got to his feet and began climbing out of the crater. "Now where the fuck am I?"

He looked around, only to see thick forest in every direction. The only light coming from the hole he’d punched through the canopy.

“Well, shit,” Adam said to himself, punching a nearby tree in frustration. Somehow, his punch had left a rather large dent in the tree.

“Damn…” Adam said, admiring his handiwork. “Well, I might as well start walking. At least it’s quiet here.”

Adam walked for a few minutes in silence while trying to absorb as much of his surroundings as possible. The trees still seemed to be trees. The ground was still ground. The only thing the felt odd to him was that even in the dark of the forest; the colors felt odd. They all seemed intense. Suddenly, a loud shrieking noise interrupted the quiet calm of the forest.

“Fuck you!” Adam yelled back at the shriek looking in its direction. His eyes instantly settled on the bush the noise had come from and after a few more seconds of walking he spotted a scaly green tail sticking out from underneath it.

“Got you!” Adam yelled, yanking the tail and bringing the rest of the creature out of the bush. “What the hell are you?” He questioned after staring at it for a few seconds

The creature was scaly and green all the way up to its head, which was that of a chicken. It had no arms, but bat-like wings. It opened its eyelids to reveal solid red eyes staring into Adam’s. Adam started to feel his leg muscles tighten. He looked down at them to find they were turning to stone.

“Well fuck.” Adam sighed as he tried to turn and run from the chicken headed creature. But as he tried to move his feet, he felt as if they were made of stone. “Well this sucks.” He stated as he gave up on running away. Adam and the creature continued staring angrily into each others eyes as the rest of his body turned to stone. Just before his head became frozen, Adam realized the only other thing that seemed off about his new circumstances.
“Am I a horse?!?!" He yelled in confusion as he became in encased in stone.

Socially Awkward

Zack followed the Princess to the entrance of one of the many towers in Canterlot. Nearing their destination, he looked up to see a purple pony leaning on the railing of a balcony at the top.

“Twilight…” Zack said to himself as he braced himself for OCD madness.

Princess Celestia led Zack up a massive circular staircase to the top floor. Zack noticed that the staircase didn’t open up into any floors but the top, which he found rather strange. Why build a huge tower if you’re only going to use one floor? That’s just stupid.

Anyway, when they arrived at the top floor, Princess Celestia opened the door with her magic and stepped inside. Zack stepped in after her and saw Twilight Sparkle leaning on the balcony railing. She turned around and her eyes went wide with surprise.

“Princess!” Twilight exclaimed, galloping up to the Princess to greet her while completely ignoring Zack.“I had no idea you were coming to visit or I would have cleaned up! How are you? What are you here for? Do you need a book? What do you need? I can have Spike find whatever you need! Do you…” Twilight continued to fire off questions while running frantically around the room, checking bookshelves and tables for any books the Princess may need until Princess Celestia interrupted her.

“Twilight, I’d like you to meet someone.” the princess said sweetly, making Twilight stop and look back at the pony standing next to the princess. “This is Zack.”

“Hello Twilight.” Zack said, holding out his hoof to Twilight, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well, Zack,” Twilight said, shaking Zack’s outstretched hoof before quickly looking back up at the Princess with a nervous smile.

“Twilight, I’m sure you saw the meteors crash night before last?” Celestia asked.

“Yes, of course, I wanted to investigate as soon as I saw them land but I was too busy preparing for my trip. Why? Would you like me to see what I can find out about them?” Twilight asked eagerly.

“Not exactly. You see, Zack here was found in the crater of one of the meteors.”

“Interesting,” Twilight said as she examined the grey pony standing next to the Princess. “He has no cutie mark.”

“I noticed,” Celestia agreed. “I was hoping he could come with you to Ponyville.”

“Of course, but why?”

“Two other meteors landed in that area. If they are also ponies, they may have something in common with Zack.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say in common.” Zack muttered low enough that nobody would notice.

“Alright then. We leave tomorrow morning Zack. It was nice to see you Princess.” Twilight said with a bow.

“Always nice to see you too, Twilight.” Celestia said with a smile, “Keep up with your studies!”

“I always do!” Twilight said as she waved goodbye. She then turned to a bookshelf and looked over the books until she found the one she was after. She pulled it from the shelf with her magic, sat down at a table, and began reading.

Zack looked around the room, unsure what he should do. He saw a doorway between two bookshelves and started to walk towards it.

“Don’t move,” Twilight ordered.

“Ok…” Zack said, unsure of why she was stressed. However, once he remembered the upcoming disaster, he understood. “Is there anything you need? Anything you need help with?”

“No. I just have a certain problem I need to deal with and I need to focus or we could have a major problem on our hands.” Twilight said.

“I understand.”

“You may want to get some sleep. No telling what we may have ahead of us.”

“Alright. Where can I sleep?”

“On the couch.” Twilight said without looking up from her book.

A slight scowl crept onto Zack’s face before he decided that it wouldn’t be smart to argue. “Very well, goodnight Twilight Sparkle.” Zack said as he lied down on the couch.

“Goodnight Zack.” Twilight said as she got up and went to her room, bringing her book with her.

________________________________________________________________________

The Next Day

“Wake up Zack, we’re leaving.” Twilight said, making Zack wake up in a stir.

“Good morning to you too.” Zack said sarcastically, annoyed that Twilight had woken him so suddenly.

Twilight yanked Zack out of bed and dragged him down the tower and into a chariot where a little green dragon was waiting.

“Oh, hello Spike,” Zack said.

“How do you know my name?” Spike asked, puzzled.
“Uh… Lucky guess?” Zack said with a shrug.

“Well, I guess that makes sense because of my awesome spines!” Spike said as he posed while running his hand over his spines.

“Yea, let’s go with that,” Zack said.

“Stop messing around you two. We’ve got work to do,” Twilight said as she turned to the two stallions at the front of the chariot. “We’re ready to go when you are, sirs.”

The stallions nodded to each other and spread their wings. The chariot shot into the sky, making Zack grab onto the railing to stay on. When they got high enough, the chariot leveled out and Zack let go of the railing. He looked over the side and saw all of Equestria below him.

“So this is how pegasi see the world…” He said quietly to himself as he saw Ponyville approaching quickly. He turned back to Twilight and Spike to see Spike reading a scroll and Twilight groaning. The chariot descended more slowly than it had ascended, landing in the middle of Ponyville softly. Twilight thanked the stallions while Zack and Spike got out of the chariot. Once Twilight had gotten out, the stallions took off again and the chariot was gone.
“So this is Ponyville.” Zack spoke already thinking of ways to get away from Twilight. “Uhm… I think I’m going to go investigate the meteor’s crash site.” Zack said somewhat honestly.

“Alright,” Twilight said after a short pause. “I have to check on preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. Meet me at the town library tonight. That’s where we’ll be staying while we’re here. You can’t miss it, it’s the giant tree.”

“Ok, good luck on the preparations.” Zack said as he started walking in the other direction, towards the crash site. “That was easier than I thought.” Suddenly, a pink blur zoomed past him.

“Pinkie Pie… “ Zack sighed while shaking his head.

Zack walked for a few minutes before coming upon the crater. He looked around the rim and found no debris that would suggest it was a meteor, only finding some black hairs around the imprint of a pony in the center. He noticed that from the center to the edge there was a line of dirt that had been moved out of the way, as if someone had been dragged out of the crater.
“Must’ve been another pony.” Zack spoke with his suspicions confirmed. “But was it Adam or Will?” He looked around and saw a pair of ponies chatting nearby. He trotted over to them, making them stop their conversation and look at him.

“Excuse me,” Zack said, “Do you know of any ponies being mauled in the past few days?”

“No one mauled, no…” the light blue pony said with a confused look on her face.

“Must have been Will then,” Zack said with his hoof up to his chin in thought. “Do you know if anypony’s been injured recently?”

“I heard there was a strange pony at the hospital, something about him crashing and hurting a wing.” said the other, yellow pony with a navy blue and pink mane.

“Thanks!” Zack said as he turned towards to hospital. “Wait, what are your names?” He asked, looking back at them.

“I’m Lyra!” The light blue pony said cheerily, pointing to herself.

“And I’m Bon Bon!” The yellow pony said just as cheerily.

“I’m Zack,” Zack said, watching as Lyra’s face lit up in disbelief.

“Zack?! That sounds like a human name!” Lyra pressed her face right up against Zack’s and stared deep into his eyes. “Are you human?”

“Uh….” Zack said, looking left and right trying to come up with an answer. “Erm… No?” He said with a weak smile.

“Lyra, there is no such thing as a human!” Bon Bon said as Lyra backed away from Zack and hung her head in shame.

“I’m sorry, I get carried away sometimes…” Lyra said quietly.

“It’s alright,” Zack said, removing his look of concerned fright so as to not make Lyra feel worse. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get to the hospital now.”

“Alright, it was nice to meet you!” Bon Bon said as she and Lyra walked away.

“Nice to meet you as well.” Zack said, turning towards the hospital in the distance. He set off in its direction and arrived a few minutes later. He was about to walk in the double doors marked as the entrance before a black and green pony fell from a window above him and landed in the bushes below.

First Contact

Will rubbed his head as he stood up from the bushes. He looked up to the window where Rainbow Dash was looking down upon him.

“What the hell was that for?!” Will yelled up at Dash. Dash jumped out of the window and glided down to where Will was standing.

“Just helping you get your bearings,” Dash said with a chuckle.

“Not violent enough to be Adam.” Zack thought to himself as he looked over the black and green pony. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.” He said as he began trotting over to him.

Will turned his head and looked over at the grey pony that was staring at him.

“Who the fuck are you?” Will asked, still rubbing his head.
“Guess.” Zack said in his monotone voice, sure that Will would recognize him.

“No shit, you too?”

“Yep.”

“Where’d you wake up?”

“In prison. I got interrogated by the princess for a bit about why I fell from the sky.” Zack sighed.

“Well that sucks.”

“Yep. I see you’ve already met Dash.”

“Yep.”

The two friends looked back to see Rainbow Dash with a very confused look on her face. “You two already know each other?” Dash asked.

“Uh… yea,” Will stuttered, “It’s a really, REALLY long story.”

“Yea. My name is Zack by the way,” Zack said, holding out his hoof to Rainbow Dash.

“Whatever.” Dash said, ignoring Zack’s outstretched hoof and turning back to Will. “I should probably show you my house before work.”

“Work?” Will asked.

“Yeah, I’m on the weather team. My shift starts in a few minutes.”

“Okay. There’s just one problem with that plan.” Will said as he pointed to his wings.

“What, can’t you fly?” Dash asked.

“Don’t know how to,” Will explained to which Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on her forehead.

“Ok, I have to go to work. Do whatever you want while I’m gone. But Will,” Rainbow Dash added as she started flapping her wings.

“Yes?”

“Learn to fly by the time I get back.” Rainbow Dash said before zooming off into the sky. Will looked back at Zack and asked

“How the fuck am I supposed to learn to fly?”

“How should I know? You’re the pegasus.” Zack said with a shrug, walking down the road towards the center of town.

“Where are you going?”
“Twilight’s about to meet Rainbow and I wanna watch.” He responded.

“Come on! Nobody else will teach me how to fly!” Will yelled after him. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“You wanna learn to fly?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow in annoyance. “Come with me.”

Zack led Will inside the hospital, up a few flights of stairs and onto the roof. Once there, Zack led Will over to the edge where he then peered over the side.

“This will work,” Zack muttered to himself, “Ready to learn?”

“Yea, but what are you do… AHH!” Will screamed as Zack threw him over the edge.

“Fly.”

“Not again!” Will screamed as he plummeted to the bushes.

Zack trotted down the stairs and met Will outside, where he found him rubbing his head.

“You’re cruel.” Will spat, his head hurting even more than before. “That's something I'd expect Adam to do."

“Again,” Zack ordered, pulling Will to his feet and leading him to the door.

“How many times are we going to do this?” Will asked.

“Until you learn.” Zack said bluntly, “So far, you have yet to spread your wings. You aren’t doing well.”

“Why can’t I just try to hover first?” Will asked, making Zack turn and look up in thought.

“We could…” Zack said, thinking of a reason to keep throwing Will off the roof. “But it’s funnier this way.”

Zack continued dragging Will up to the roof and throwing him over. After 10 minutes and dozens of plummets, Zack dragged Will up the stairs to the roof again. When they got to the edge, Zack threw Will over the side without even a word. He turned to walk down the stairs again when he heard the flapping of wings behind him.

“Ha! Fuck you Zack.” Will yelled as he hovered just off the side of the building. “I figured it out!” Will started flying around the roof, doing flips and spins.

“Good job. I guess you don’t need me here anymore.”

“Nope!” Will yelled as he crossed his arms in arrogance, closing his eyes and turning his nose up in a smug look of victory.

“Fine, I’ll be downtown.” Zack said as he left the hospital and started down the road.

Will floated there for a minute before realizing that Zack had left. He looked around the landscape and saw him walking down the road. Will flew over to Zack and started flying slowly just above him.

“I was hoping you’d stay up there all day,” Zack said, laughing at how easy it was to feed Will’s ego.

“I hate you.” Will said.

“You can fly now can’t you?” Zack said, looking up at Will.

“Yea, and the view’s great!” Will said, flying up into the sky to get a view of Ponyville. “You’d love it up here Zack. Too bad you’re only a unicorn.”

“Once I figure out magic, you won’t be so cocky.” Zack warned. Will flew back down and tried changing the subject; sure that Zack having magic wouldn’t bode well for him.

“So, do you have any idea why we’re here?” Will asked.

“No, which is why we need to find Adam.”

“Adam’s here? How do you know?”

“Another meteor landed nearby in the Everfree. If you were the one that crashed here, then there’s a good chance that one is Adam.”

“Well, we should be going there soon in the storyline anyway. We can look for him then.”

“Good point,” Zack agreed, “Let’s hope he hasn’t killed anyone yet.”

“It’s Adam…In Equestria…” Will said slowly, as if Zack had suffered brain damage.

“I know,” Zack sighed, “We can at least hope…”

“Yea….” Will said, feeling sorry for whoever may have crossed Adam’s path. “Hehe, maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll run across a cockatrice or something” Will said, making them both chuckle. “Well, I need to go find Dash’s house. I’ll meet you at the party.”

“Party?” Zack said, confused.

“The one Pinkie is going to throw for Twilight?”

“Oh, right.”

“Anyway, I better get looking. See you at the party!” Will said as he turned and flew into the sky. He looked back down to see Zack still walking into Ponyville. He flew across the town and saw Twilight Sparkle coming back to town from Sweet Apple Acres. He then flew even farther up into the sky and looked around at the clouds. He saw what looked like a roman style house on a cloud in the distance, with rainbows pouring down off the sides.

“That must be it,” Will said to himself as he took off in its direction. When he finally got to the house, he pulled his wings close to him, trying to brake. He quickly realized he wasn’t slowing down fast enough.

“Shhhhhhhiiiiittttttt!!” Will screamed as he slammed into the front door of Rainbow Dash’s house. He slumped to the floor and tried to raise his head, only to give up and lie on the cloud.

“I really need to stop crashing into shit.” Will muttered as the door opened and Rainbow Dash looked down on him lying on the welcome mat.

“So you figured out how to fly?” Dash asked, crossing her forelegs while leaning on the doorframe. “How’d you do it?”

“Zack threw me off the roof,” Will said standing up and rubbing his head, his headache pounding against his skull. “He’s a cruel bastard.”

“Good. Now you need to work on landing,” Rainbow Dash said as she looked at her door. “You dented my door.”

“Hey, shouldn’t you be at work?” Will asked.

“I’m taking a break…” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“You just started, like, ten minutes ago!”

“Fine, I’ll go finish.” Rainbow Dash groaned as she flew off into Ponyville. “Feel free to look around the house.”

“I’d rather work on landing.” Will yelled after her as Dash flew away. He took off from the cloud and flew down to the ground below. He slowed down by flapping upwards with his wings, and slowly began descending to the ground, but suddenly flew straight forward and crashed face first into a tree.

“Fuck.”

Celebrating the Summer Sun

Zack wandered around Ponyville for a few hours, waiting for the point in the timeline where the party starts. Throughout his walk, he pondered explanations as to how they had been dropped in Equestria. But so far, he has had no idea what might have caused it. He continued to wonder as the sun began setting and he started in the direction of the library. When he arrived, he heard Spike describing his life to Fluttershy.

“And that’s the story of my whole entire life!” Spike exclaimed, “Well, up until today. Do you want to hear about today?”

“His ego is the size of Will’s…” Zack sighed.

“Oh, yes please!” Fluttershy said excitedly.

“I am so sorry.” Twilight said as if on cue, turning back to Fluttershy, “How did we get here so fast? This is where I’m staying while in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep.”

“No I don…WOAH!” Spike yelled as Twilight bucked him off her back.

“Awh, look at that. He’s so sweepy he can’t even keep his wittle bawance.” Twilight said, turning to Fluttershy with a wide smile.

Fluttershy flew over to Spike and picked him up in her arms.

“Poor thing,” Fluttershy said sweetly, gracefully flying over to the door of the library and flying inside, “You simply must get into bed.”

Twilight Sparkle ran inside and pushed Fluttershy out the door.

“Yes yes, we’ll get right on that. Well goodnight!” Twilight said, slamming the door in Fluttershy’s face.

Zack walked up to the door of the library.

“Oh, hello.” Fluttershy said shyly, startled by the sudden appearance of the grey pony beside her.

“Hello Fluttershy,” Zack said with a smile, opening the door to the library. “Are you here for the party?”

Fluttershy looked down and backed away, letting out a small squeel. Zack was about to introduce himself when he heard a loud crash behind him.
He turned around and saw Will lying there in the remains of a destroyed cart. Somehow, a piece of it had caught on fire.

“Oh, hello Will,” Zack said with small smile on his face, “I thought you had learned to fly?”

“To fly, not to land,” Will said, getting up and rubbing his battered head as he had been doing all day. He noticed the flaming piece of wood and stomped on it with is hoof to put it out. “I’ve been practicing for hours and I can’t land without crashing.”

“The trick is to start to hover just above the ground, then stop flapping your wings so you land softly,” Fluttershy said quickly, before squeeling again and hiding behind her hair.

“Why will she talk to you and not me?” Zack asked.

“Maybe it’s because she and Dash took me to the hospital when I first crashed,” Will said with a shrug. “Or maybe it’s because you’re an ass.” He stopped rubbing his head and started towards the door. “Hurry up or we’ll miss Rapidash Twilight.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Zack said, following Will inside before popping his head back outside, “You coming Fluttershy?”

“I… I guess so…” Fluttershy mumbled quietly, walking inside and shutting the door behind her.

"It's progress I suppose." Zack quietly sighed to himself

The three ponies walked inside just in time to see Twilight Sparkle’s mane burst into flames with tears in her eyes.

“There it is.” Will said with a smile, walking over to the table with all of the refreshments on it. He noticed another table adjacent to it, with bottles spread out all over it. He picked one up and read the label, reading ‘Fillydelphian Hard Liquor’.

“Holy shit, no way!” Will said as he opened the bottle and poured himself a shot. “I had no idea Equestria had booze!” Will downed the shot and quickly had a pained expression on his face. “That’s way stronger than I thought it would be!” Will said as he poured another shot and downed it.

Zack stared at his friend downing shots and shook his head. He turned back to Fluttershy to see her still hiding in her hair.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I ever introduced myself.” Zack said, holding out his hoof to Fluttershy. “My name is Zack. I’m a friend of Will’s.”

“I’m… I’m Fluttershy…” Fluttershy mumbled, backing away from Zack’s outstretched hoof. Fluttershy then ran over to a group of ponies where Pinkie Pie and Rarity were talking.

“Well, I shouldn’t be surprised,” Zack said to himself as he looked back at Will, still downing shots with Rainbow Dash flying over to him.

"What are you doing?" Dash bluntly asked Will, tilting her head to the side and putting her forelegs to her hips.

"Getting wasted. Want some?" He replied.
Soon both she and Will were downing lines of shots off of the table. Zack slammed his hoof into his forehead and started walking to the stairs, only to be stopped by a pink pony with a beaming grin on her face.

“Crap.” Zack thought, dropping his head with a sigh. “Hello,” Zack said in an almost annoyed tone.

“Hello there! I noticed I didn’t know you and I know everypony in Ponyville, so that means you’re new just like Twilight! I was going to throw you a party too, but I thought it would be more fun to have one big, shared party! Don’t you think that’s fun?” Pinkie asked, getting uncomfortably close to Zack. Seeing Zack’s annoyed look, she quickly realized her mistake. “Oh no, I almost forgot to introduce myself! I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie said, smiling even wider than before, while holding out a hoof.

“It’s nice to meet you Pinkie,” Zack said, shaking her hoof before trying to walk past her. “I’m Zack. If you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Twilight about something.”

“Won’t you stay for the party?” Pinkie asked, turning her smile into a frown and looking at Zack with wide, puppy-dog eyes.

“Aw... screw it.” Zack said, realizing he can’t say no to those eyes. He walked over to the table where Will and Dash were drinking and downed a shot. “Might as well get plastered.” He sighed as he joined Will and Dash in their drinking activities.

Several hours, dozens of shots, and plenty of lost memory later, it was time for the sun to be risen by Princess Celestia. After everyone had left for the Town Hall, Twilight walked downstairs and saw Zack, Will and Rainbow Dash passed out in a heap by the refreshment table. Sighing, she went to the kitchen and got a water bucket, filling it with water and returning to the main room. She used her magic to hold the bucket above the heap of ponies before emptying the water out on top of them. They awoke in a stir and scattered from where they had been sleeping. Zack, soaked from head to hoof, looked at Twilight with a look of annoyance.

“I needed to wake you up,” Twilight said simply, putting the bucket down and walking out the door.
Zack turned to Will and Dash, shrugged and took off after her. Rainbow Dash and Will flew out of the door after them and, after a few minutes of flying, found themselves above Town Hall. Dash landed just in front of the door while Will stayed floating in midair.

“What are you waiting for?” Dash asked, looking up at Will eyeing the ground cautiously.

“I haven’t had a successful landing yet!” Will yelled, not sure how to get down without crashing.

“Oh for Celestia’s sake,” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself, flying up to Will, grabbing his hoof, and pulling him down to the ground.

“Hey, I did it!” Will exclaimed, raising his forelegs in the air in victory. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and walked into the town hall. Zack went by Will as he walked up the steps onto the porch of the town hall.

“Will, hurry up before I drag you in here.” Zack said before walking inside.

Will looked around, realizing he was now alone. He quickly ran up the stairs and into the town hall, almost running into Zack.
“Finished gloating over your amazing achievement of ‘not hurting yourself’?” Zack questioned while rolling his eyes before turning back to the mayor, who was about to begin her speech.

“Fillys and Gentlecolts!” the mayor began in an official voice, “As mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!”

The announcement was met with loud cheering from all of the ponies in the room. Will and Zach swiftly shot each other a glance, both mentally preparing for what was about to happen.
Will could barely see over the sea of ponies, so he flew up into the air to get a better view. Zack turned and saw Twilight with a sad look on her face, knowing she was concerned about the coming disaster. Zack looked back to the stage and prepared himself.

“In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year!” the mayor continued. Zack looked back over at Twilight, who was looking up at the moon. Zack looked up to see Will glancing out of the corner of his eye. Zach then looked himself and saw several stars moving into the moon, making it flash.

"Three great minds, all aware of what is to come, all anxious. And not a damn thing any of us can do." Zach thought to himself as he let out a sigh.
“And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony that gives us the sun and the moon each and everyday! The good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria!” the mayor paused and raised her hoof in the air, “Princess Celestia!”

Rarity tugged on a rope, making the curtains open. The spotlight shifted from the mayor to an empty spot on the balcony where the princess should be standing. Everypony in the room gasped, surprised that the princess had vanished.

Zach began a countdown in his head, fully knowing what was about to happen.

“Three…” he started

“Remain calm everypony,” the mayor said, sounding worried herself. “There must be a reasonable explanation.”

“Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games!” Pinkie Pie squeeled, beginning to hop in the air then begin looking around. “Is she hiding?”

“Two…”

Rarity returned from the room leading to the balcony with a worried expression on her face.

“She’s gone!” she concluded, making everypony in the room gasp even louder and more dramatically.

“One…”

“Oooo, she’s goooood.” Pinkie Pie said. Suddenly, she screamed, making the rest of the ponies look back up to the balcony.

A dark blue smoke began to spread from behind the curtain until it had engulfed the balcony. It then dispersed, leaving a black alicorn standing in its place.

“Zero…” Zack muttered as the alicorn laughed maniacly.

An Old Friend

“Oh, my beloved subjects,” the alicorn spoke with a sweet yet angry tone. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces!”

“What have you done with our princess?!” Rainbow Dash yelled before lunging at the alicorn, only to have Applejack grab her tail and hold her back. The alicorn laughed wickedly at Dash’s attempt.

“Why? Am I not royal enough for you?” the alicorn asked, “Don’t you know who I am?”

“Oo, oo, more guessing games!” Pinkie squeeked with delight. “Uuhhhmm… Hokey Smokes? How bout… Queen Meanie? NO! Black Snooty, Black Snooty!” Pinkie yelled with excitement just as Applejack shoved a cupcake in her mouth, silencing her.

The alicorn continued, directing her gaze to Fluttershy. “Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?” the alicorn turned to Rarity, flipping her mane in her face. “Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?”

“I did!” Twilight Sparkle yelled from down below, startling the alicorn. “And I know who you are! You’re the Mare in the Moon! Nightmare Moon!” The crowd gasped once more as the identity of the strange alicorn is revealed.

“Well, well, well,” Nightmare Moon said with interest, “Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I’m here.”

“You’re here to… to….” Twilight stuttered from the fear of eternal darkness.

Nightmare laughed maniacally at Twilight before continuing. “Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forward, the Night… will last… FOREVER!” Nightmare yelled before laughing maniacally, with lightning crackling in the background.

“Awesome!” Will yelled, throwing his hooves in the air. The entire room of ponies looked at him with confused looks, not sure if he was joking or serious. Will quickly realized eternal darkness is not approved of and added. “Oh, I mean… uh…. We’ll stop you, you monster?”

Will could have sworn he saw every single pony roll their eyes at him in unison before turning back to Nightmare Moon.

“Seize her!” Mayor Mare ordered, pointing her hoof at Nightmare Moon. “Only she knows where the Princess is!” A group of guards flew at Nightmare, only to be thrust back by bolts of lightning. Nightmare laughed again before transforming into a blue mist and flying out the door. Rainbow pulled free from Applejack and followed the mist outside.

“Come back here!” Rainbow yelled after the mist, stopping soon after getting outside. “Nighttime… Forever…?” Rainbow asked herself in disbelief. She turned back to see Twilight running out of the town hall. “Where’s she going?” Rainbow asked herself before pursuing her to the library.

Will flew out of the library with Zack running below him. “You know, I don’t see what everyone has against the whole ‘Eternal Darkness’ thing.” Will said, not really talking to Zack but more to himself, “I personally think it’s a good idea.”

“Yea, and you also approve of the Rainbow Factory!” Zack yelled in disgust.

“Hey, it’s a very interesting and cool process.” Will said, trying to explain why he approves of such a horrible practice.

“No, you’re just fucking nuts.” Zack said, beginning to trot faster towards the library. Will flew slightly faster to keep up with him.

“Well, that too.” Will agreed as they arrived at the library, hearing Rainbow Dash yelling from within. “I guess they started the party without us.”

Zack rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open to reveal five ponies crowding around Twilight Sparkle, listening intently as she explained the legend of Nightmare Moon. Will landed in the doorway, smiling widely as he looked down to see his hooves firmly on the ground and throwing his forelegs in the air in triumph. He then fell flat on his face, letting out a small grunt of pain. He looked up to see Zack shaking his head, with Rainbow Dash laughing behind him.

“You’re an idiot.” Zack said in monotone, turning back to Twilight to listen to the location of the elements. She was about to say where they were headed, but Will interrupted her.

“Ooh, ooh!” Will said, jumping up and down in excitement. “Does that mean we get to-“

“Yes Will,” Twilight interrupted with a sigh. “We’re going into the Everfree.”

________________________________________________________________________

“Are we sure this is ah good idea?” Applejack asked, staring into the darkness of the forest. The rest of the main ponies stared with her, while Zack and Will looked at them with confusion.

“This isn’t how it went in the show…” Will whispered to Zack.

“Maybe we broke it,” Zack whispered back. “Our very presence could be messing with the timeline.”

“Well, good. I was getting bored of knowing the future.”

“The entire future might not be rewritten,” Zack explained, trying to figure it out for himself. “It may just be little things like words and phrases.”

“I was being sarcastic, asshole.” Will said, turning back to the mane six to see Rainbow Dash strutting confidently into the Everfree with the others staggering in behind her with Fluttershy in back. Will walked up next to Rainbow Dash and walked slightly ahead of her, looking back with a smug smile on his face. Dash walked ahead of him, only to be overtaken with him walking backwards. She finally gave up and started sprinting ahead of him, making him pause in surprise before sprinting after her. He finally overtook her, only to run straight into a rock and knock it over. He looked up and rubbed his head before jumping back in fright, backing up as far as he could until he hit a tree. Dash looked at Will’s wide eyes confusedly, before looking at the rock and joining him in fright. They continued to stare at the petrified pony until the rest of the group caught up with them, not shifting their gaze from it. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy stepped between them and the pony, making them break their gaze and stand up like nothing happened. Nopony seemed to notice the blue mist fading into the solidified pony, making the stone skin begin to crack.

Zack walked over to the statue and stood it up. He then began examining it with a familiar curiosity. He looked over to Will and asked him to come over to him, before looking back at the statue while rubbing his chin in thought. As Will walked up to him, Zack looked up.

“Hey Will, does this pony remind you of anyone?”

Will looked at the pony’s angry face, eyebrows furiously narrowing the eyes and his mouth in a murderous growl, trying to make out whom Zack was suggesting.

“Well, I-“ Will began. Before he could finish his thought, the statue shattered and the pony inside began assaulting Will in rage.

Bring on the Mauling

"So I guess I'm stone now" Adam thought to himself with interest. "I suppose there's worse ways to spend an eternity. At least it's relaxing." Just then, something slammed into his side; knocking him over. "Well so much for that!" He growled while trying to stand back up. Unable to move his stone prison, he felt content to simply listen to what was happening around him. At that moment he heard a large number of footsteps approaching.

“Damn, there must be a bunch of them.” Adam thought as he listened closer. He felt a strange presence fill his mind, giving him a headache as two minds filled one head.

“Do not panic, citizen.” Adam heard a mysterious voice in his mind say, “Do not try to fight.”

“Fuck off!” Adam growled.

“Do not address your Princess in such a manner!” The voice said with a hint of annoyance.

“Get the fuck out of my head. Now. Unless you think dying would be nice." he responded in a calm tone.
"SUCH IMPUDENCE!" the voice now speaking with a bit of fear at the calm threat.
"Two options. 1:You leave and I get to relax. 2: You stay and I get to rip off your legs and staple them to your back." After a short pause Adam continued. "That's just phase 1 by the way. Phase 2 involves fire, a shovel and 500 packing peanuts." He chuckled at the ending of his threat. He suddenly felt his headache subside, and the stone around him loosen as cracks formed. “Much bet-WHOA!” Adam thought, as his stone form was suddenly stood upright. He listened again for movement and heard footsteps encircling him, as if he was being examined.

“Will, could you come over here?” A familiar, monotone voice said.

“ Zack?” Adam thought, listening more intently to place the voice he believed to be his friend’s.

“Hey Will, does this pony remind you of anyone?” The voice said again. Adam was now sure it was Zack’s voice, glad to know he had a friend that could help get him out of his situation. He began to relax until the voice Zack was speaking to began his response.

“Well, I-“

Adam was overcome with rage, bursting from his stone prison, sending stone shards in every direction and tackling the black and green pony to whom the voice belonged. He began punching the pony in the face and stomach, grabbing his wings and bending them in odd directions, going further with every painful scream from the pony’s mouth.

“Yep, that’s Adam.” Zack said, making no attempt to stop Adam from his satisfaction. He looked up to see the other ponies staring at the blue pony with astonished, horrified faces. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.” Zack reassured them, not very effectively as Adam began plucking Will’s feathers, causing him to curl his wing in pain. A purple glow surrounded Adam and he was lifted off of Will and held a few feet away.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Adam yelled in frustration and confusion, “LET ME GO!!! THAT FUCKER’S HAD THIS ASSKICKING COMING TO HIM!”

Will sat up and laughed painfully, switching between rubbing his wings, face, and chest. “Nice to see you too asshole.” Will said. Adam continued to struggle until he saw the other six ponies standing off to the side, horrified faces on each one and a purple glow coming from the horn of the one farthest to the right. Adam stopped struggling and quieted down, averting his gaze from the other six ponies.

“Un. Fucking. Believable.” Will said, watching Adam calm down from his rage-induced berserk to a shy and silent calm. Zack looked at Adam and raised an eyebrow before turning back to the mane six.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Adam.” Zack introduced, pointing his hoof at Adam sitting quietly on the ground with eyes averted from the six ponies. Will got to his feet and continued staring, amazed at Adam’s calm. The mane six continued to look at him with terrified expressions until Pinkie shook her head vigorously and smiled a big grin. She ran up to Adam and grabbed his foreleg.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! So you’re Adam huh? That’s a cool name! So you know Will and Zack? They’re cool too! We found Will in a crater and Zack came in from Canterlot with Twilight!” Pinkie stopped and gasped a long, loud gasp, “We need to throw you a party! Hold on one sec!” Pinkie ran off and returned in the same second, holding a pink cannon with balloons on the side.
"What the hell is this?" Adam questioned.
She fired the cannon and the clearing was lit up with balloons and streamers and confetti. She shoved a party favor in Adam’s mouth and slid a cake in front of him.

“Uh….” Adam said, staring at the cake that read “Welcome Adam” in icing on the top. He looked at Pinkie smiling at him and then at Will laughing his ass off. Adam growled in anger and was about to go after him again, but the purple pony from before walked up to him.

“Hello, Adam. I’m Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said as she held out her hoof and Adam cautiously shook it. “I take it you know Will and Zack?”

“In a way…” Adam said, standing up and towering over Twilight and Pinkie. Twilight was amazed at the size of the dark blue pony. She had to look up quite a bit to meet his grey eyes, but the white patch that covered his muzzle distracted her. He looked very strong and intimidating and yet he was still quiet and shy, even refusing to look directly at her. She looked over at Zack, who shrugged as he was checking on Will, who was still laughing.

“So, who are you all?” Adam asked calmly, swiftly looking at the other four ponies, to whom Pinkie had already strapped party hats.

“Am AppleJack,” AJ said, walking up to Adam and extending her hoof. “Pleasure to meet’cha.”

“Same…” Adam said, shaking it as he did Twilight’s. A similar, slightly less friendly greeting was exchanged with Rarity, who was rather disgusted by the rugged brute. Adam watched as a blue pony with a rainbow colored mane flew over to him and set her eyes level with his. She stared into them until finally titling her head to the side in thought.

“So you like to hurt Will too?” Dash asked, and immediately Adam’s eyebrows perked up and he smirked a bit. Rainbow flew over to Will and landed next to him. She looked forward and jabbed Will in the same rib Adam had nearly broken just a few moments before, making him fall over with a grunt. He looked up at her grinning down at him.

“Why do I hang out with such assholes…” Will asked himself as he stood up again.

“By the way, I’m Rainbow Dash,” She said, looking back at Adam.

“Always a pleasure to meet someone who treats Will like a punching bag,” Adam said, nodding at Rainbow and turning back towards the yellow and pink pony who had yet to introduce herself. He was slightly puzzled as to why she was covering her face in her hair and cowering at the base of a tree. “Uh…” He said, concerned. “Is she alright?”

“That’s Fluttershy,” Zack explained. “She can be a bit shy at times. As in all the time.”

“Ah,” Adam said, walking over to where Fluttershy was curled up and shaking. He nudged her with his hoof, making her look up at him before curling up even more and shaking vigorously.

“Fluttershy?” Adam said sweetly, overcome with the amount of adorable he was experiencing. “My name is Adam. Don’t worry, I only maul people I hate.” Adam said, looking over his shoulder at Will and smirking. He looked back down towards Fluttershy, who slowly began to open up and stop crying.

“You… You broke a cockatrice’s spell…” Fluttershy said disbelievingly, looking up at Adam with tear filled eyes. “How… How did you do that?”

“Thanks for reminding me!” Adam said, completely ignoring her question and running off into the woods. The ponies looked at each confused, until a high pitched scream echoed across the forest.

“Uh… We’ll be right back.” Zack said, motioning to Will and heading in the direction that Adam had run off in. They walked for a bit before coming upon a small clearing, with Adam sitting in the middle with the cockatrice that had frozen him. He had already ripped out its eyes and was now plucking out its spines one by one. He looked up at Will and Zack and smiled, his face and hooves covered in blood.

“You are the sickest person I have ever met.” Zack said, shaking his head.

“Hey, it had it coming.” Adam said as he grabbed hold of the cockatrice’s head, ripping its screaming beak off and shoving it into the hole it created. He then placed both hooves on either side of its head and yanked, ripping its head off with blood splattering all over him. He threw it over his shoulder and walked past Will and Zack in the direction of the clearing where the other ponies were waiting. Zack stared with his jaw dropped while Will simply shrugged and walked after Adam.

“Why do I hang out with such assholes?” Zack asked himself as he glanced back at the carnage Adam had left. He took off after them and caught up with them just as they arrived back.

“Why are you covered in blood?” Twilight asked, concerned that he had been hurt by one of the many dangers in the forest.

“Let’s just say,” Zack began, letting out a small sigh. “He found the cockatrice.”

The six ponies gasped as Adam smiled wickedly. Fluttershy looked confused for a moment, before realizing what Adam had done and sobbing violently. “What… exactly… did he do?” Fluttershy asked between sobs. “Can I…. Can I see…?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to.” Zack said, making Fluttershy sob even harder.

Canon out the Window

“So I have a question that I’ve been holding out on,” Adam said to Zach once they had continued into the forest. “You know, what with mauling Will and that asshole chicken thing that made me a piece of lawnart.”

“Yes,” Zach said. “And it’s called a cockatrice.”

“A cockapiece?” Adam said confused, turning to Zach with an eyebrow raised. “That’s a shitty name.”

Zach sighed. “No, a cockatrice.” Zach said more slowly, putting emphasis on the t.

“Oh. Still a shit name.” Adam said as he turned forward again. Will was flying above the group with Rainbow Dash, out of Adam’s murderous reach.

“Didn’t you have a question?” Zach asked. He was a bit confused when Adam suddenly stopped.

“Oh yes,” Adam said before clearing his throat. “I just wanted to know,” He breathed in a huge breath of air. “WHY THE FUCK AM I A HORSE?!” The rest of the ponies stopped and turned back to the huffing blue stallion, whose eyes had suddenly turned red and whose hair was somewhat frayed in places.

“Dude,” Will said, swooping down to Adam so he could dip his head down to Adam’s eye level. “Chill. It’s no big deal.”

Adam grabbed Will by the throat with his hooves somehow, and began to wring his neck while screaming into his face, “NO BIG DEAL?! I DON’T HAVE HANDS! I HAVE A FUCKING TAIL! DON’T TELL ME IT ISN’T A BIG DEAL!!” Adam yelled as Will gasped for air. Fluttershy flew up into a tree and began to cry quietly.

“Adam,” Zach intervened, drawing Adam’s attention away from the choking pegasus. “I don’t know why, but I’d like to know as much as you do. Now, if you’d just calm down, it’d be easier to figure out.” Adam stood staring at him for a bit, still holding onto Will’s neck, and didn’t move even as the dark pegasus struggled in his hooves.

“Ther…..” Will gasped, straining to make words as Adam crushed his vocal cords. “There’s… booze… and candy… in town…” he managed to gasp before continuing to struggle. Adam quickly let go of Will’s neck and loosened up, his eyes returning to a deep blue and his coat somehow returning to normal as well. Twilight turned her head to the side a bit in confusion and interest.

“I guess I can deal with it then, if there’s candy.” He said simply.

“What about candy?” Pinkie asked excitedly.

“Of course you would,” Will commented, struggling to stand up while still catching his breathe. “Fat ass.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re a stick and if you lost any more weight you’d die!” Adam exclaimed back.

“Still, fat ass.”

“Toothpick.”

“Planet.”

“Flagpole.”

“I can’t believe I’m friends with two first graders.” Zach said after he slammed his hoof into his forehead, which he learned hurts a lot more now than it did as a human.

“I can’t believe we haven’t advanced the plot at all.” Will said, earning confused looks from the mares in the party. “Oh, I mean, uh, I can’t believe we got sidetracked again?”

“Good point,” Twilight agreed, turning back to face the path ahead of them. “We’ve got a job to do.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam asked as the group got underway again, and Fluttershy returned from the tree she had hidden in. “What exactly are we doing again?”

Will piped up before Zach could answer. “Well, you see. We have to-“ He took an unnecessary, obnoxious breath through his nose before continuing. “SAAAAAVE THE WOOOOOOOOORRRLLLLDDDDDD!”

Zach slammed his hoof into his forehead again.

“I never asked where you two woke up.” Adam stated, ignoring Will purposefully.

“Well,” Zach began, “I woke up in an interrogation room, and apparently Will woke up in the hospital.”

“You should have gotten a membership or something,” Adam commented towards Will. “You’ll be going there a lot.”

“Anyway,” Zach continued, “All I know is that we all fell from the sky, and apparently it wasn’t just us.”

“Huh?” Both Adam and Will asked simultaneously.

“There were multiple meteor strikes across Equestria,” Twilight spoke up from the front of the group. “You three happened to be the closest.”

“So there are others?” Adam asked as they neared the edge of a cliff in the distance.

“We assume so.” Zach said as they arrived at the cliff. The three friends turned their attention to a conversation between the mares that they had ignored, and watched as Rainbow Dash crept up to Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity with a spooky grin on her face.

“You know why?” Rainbow asked as she crept towards them.

“Rainbow, quit it!” Applejack scolded from behind her.

“Because everypony who’s ever come in, has never, come, OUT!”

The cliff suddenly broke away from the land, taking Adam, Zach, and the four land-bound mares with it. Will immediately lifted off with Rainbow and Fluttershy, staying behind as the screaming mares and not so screaming stallions hurtled down the hillside.

“Fuck!” Adam yelled skyward as he hit rock after rock on his way down. “Cliffs are such assholes!”

“Are you serious? You’re getting mad at a cliff?” Zach asked, surprisingly calm despite quickly approaching another cliff.

“Yes! And I blame Will!”

“How the hell is it his fault?”

“Somehow, it is!” Adam yelled finally before the pegasi caught up to them. Will grabbed Zach under his forelegs and, after a mighty heave-ho, stopped his decent and lifted him skyward. Adam kept hurtling down the hillside, looking back up at Will to discover a manic grin on his face. He turned back quickly to be greeted by the edge of a cliff, and, before he could attempt to stop himself and with a volley of profanity, slid straight off the edge and hung comically for a few seconds over a grand abyss.

“FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!” Adam screamed as he fell, seemingly hitting every branch and rock that stuck out from the cliff face. He slammed into the ground at terminal velocity, leaving an imprint in the ground that fit his shape exactly. Will’s laughter could be heard for miles.

“Ha! That’s for earlier BEE YEEEETTCH!!” He taunted from above, still holding onto Zach as he did so.

“You’re a terrible human being.” Zach said coldly from below him.

“You want me to get revenge for the hospital?” Will asked, letting his grip on Zach loosen a bit.

“Point taken.”

A scream echoed throughout the forest, making both Zach and Will turn their attention to the source of the noise. It abruptly stopped as they saw Twilight be caught by the other two pegasi, and lowered softly to the ground.

“Oh, it’s just the canon.” Zach stated as Will began lowering to the ground himself. They went a bit faster than the mares, mostly due to the fact that Will simply stopped flying and let gravity do all the work. Zach slammed into the ground next to Adam, just before being used as a cushion by Will.

“You’re an asshole.” Adam hissed, his face covered in dirt and grass. He stood up shakily from his hole, and, other than multiple splinters from branches, was otherwise unharmed.

“Agreed.” Zach moaned from underneath Will. Even after Will had flown off of him, he remained on the ground, catching the breath that had been knocked out of him and glaring at Will. The mares trotted over to them and, after a brief beating-the-shit-out-of-Will intermission, the group was back on their way to save the world.

_________________________________Later________________________________

“Adam! You’re fucking with the canon!” Zach yelled, watching helplessly as Adam bent the manticore’s wing in a painfully odd direction. A whimper escaped its ferocious mouth, and a tear could be seen rolling down its face.

“What? You expect me NOT to beat the shit out of the giant lion-bat thing?” Adam yelled back, biting into the manticore’s ear after he did so. “I thought you knew me better.” He mumbled through the monster’s ear before ripping it free of its head. The manticore roared in agony, and thrashed about even more to try and shake Adam off.

“Seriously Adam! You’re fucking with the universe!” Will yelled as he tried to pry Adam off of the thrashing manticore. The manticore, thinking Will was another attacker, threw its tail into the air wildly and slashed Will across his side with its stinger, sending the unsuspecting pegasus hurtling into the surrounding forest with a small grunt.

“Will!” Rainbow cried, rushing over to find where he landed.

“That’s enough!” A small, strangely authoritative voice rang throughout the forest. All of the ponies and the manticore too stopped and looked at the kind pegasus to whom the voice belonged. Even Will looked up in surprise, despite the blood oozing from his side along with a strange green liquid.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Fluttershy yelled up at Adam, who promptly climbed down from on top of the manticore and stood in front of Fluttershy with his head facing the ground. Even though he was nearly twice her size, he melted before her as if she were ten times his. Fluttershy stared into his deep blue eyes, making him rear back from her in petrified obedience. “You will not lay a hoof on that poor manticore ever again! Do you understand me?” She finished, nearly spitting out the last sentence.

“Yes, m’am.” Adam muttered, sinking even further into his sudden state of shame. Every single pony, other than Fluttershy and Adam, was staring at the pair in absolute bewilderment. Will had passed out almost as soon as Fluttershy spoke, just after muttering something about his ‘mind being hit with a hammer and shattering into a million hilarious pieces’. Zach just stood, mute, and stared at his brutish friend cowering in front of the epitome of adorableness. The other five mares stood in silence after Fluttershy scolded Adam like a school colt. The manticore was busy trying to re-attach its ear, with no success.

“So….” Zach tried after a minute of silence. “We should probably get going…”

“Yea…” Twilight agreed, no longer afraid of the manticore that was busy tampering with his ear. Fluttershy flew over to the menacing creature and began tending to him.

“Will’s still unconscious,” Rainbow commented, fluttering over to the main group and leaving Will lying in a bush. “I don’t think he’s doing real well. He’s muttering stuff to himself.”

“Is it anything along the lines of ‘I’ll rip your heart out and consume your soul’?” Adam asked nonchalantly.

“No…” Dash said slowly and cautiously, taking a step back from the calm blue brute. “He was saying something about change or something, most of it was gibberish.”

“Best to ignore it. That’s what I do, especially when he’s awake.” Adam suggested before walking over to Will’s sleeping body and hoisting him onto his back. “Now then, shall we?”

“Don’t you think we should help him somehow?” Fluttershy asked sweetly, returning from her tending of the manticore. It now had bandages all over it, and its ear was nearly mummified.

“Nahh,” Zach said. “He’ll be fine.”

“You’re seriously going to carry him?” Twilight asked, watching as Adam easily began onwards on the path.

“Yea, I am. I may hate him, but I need to keep my punching bag alive. Besides, I’m used to carrying him; he sucks at pretty much everything.” Adam explained, repositioning the pegasus on his back with a few excessively hard nudges. Will’s mane and tail hung down on either side of Adam’s body, dragging along the ground and catching mud. “And besides, who else is going to carry him? You?”

“Well…” Twilight began, but was quickly interrupted.

“Ah could.” Applejack offered, to which Adam gave a quick refusing shake of his head.

“You’d be too nice on him. This way, I can make his trip as uncomfortable as possible.”

“Shall we?” Zach interjected, ignoring Adam’s explanation and urging the group to hurry up. Once Adam had adjusted Will’s position again, and after the entire group ignored a bit of Will’s unconscious ramblings, the group was once again on their quest to, as Will so obnoxiously put it, save the world.

Author's Note

Sorry this is the first chapter for this that I've done in what, 3 months? Four? Something ridiculous. Sorry for the wait for anyone who waited. I've been REALLY busy procrastinating. It's going to get a lot more random from here on out, folks. I'm throwing all rational plot out the window. Or at least I'm going to try to.

A Passed Out Pegasus

The room seemed to go on for miles, so far that Will couldn’t tell if he was inside or outside. It seemed to be filled with rolling darkness, a grotesque sort of dark air that flowed over the ground in thin wisps of air. Everywhere but the ground was complete darkness, an abyss in each direction. The only thing that Will knew for sure was there was the chair that he sat on in the middle of it all. He adjusted his position in his seat. His leg started fidgeting nervously, as it often did, while Will looked around the light darkness for any signs of a presence.

He called out into the air, asking curiously if anyone was there, only to find he could not hear his voice. He called again, louder this time, but could only hear the echo of his voice, not the source. The thoughts in his mind raced around furiously, trying to decipher his situation and make sense of it. He tried to get up, but for some reason couldn’t force himself to. He was psychologically bound to the chair, content with simply looking around against his will. He clutched the sides of his chair as a cold breeze chilled the back of his neck.

He sat there in the silence, waiting for something, but he did not know what. He couldn’t hear much, but what he could hear was crisp and clean. The air rolling against the shadowed ground, the ticking of the second hand of his watch. Time was continuing at a steady pace, only passing through a minute or two, but he waited for what he felt was an eternity. He pulled at his shirt collar to cool himself down, despite the cold air that surrounded him. He began to blink more often than he had been, adjusting his eyes’ position with each wave of his eyelid.

He called for someone’s presence repeatedly, desperate to have some sort of interaction in the wasteland of surrealism. His teeth chattered, and he pulled his shoulders closer together to conserve warmth despite the sweat rolling off of his face. His thoughts were slowly turning from those of rational want of understanding to those of schizophrenic dementia. One part of him debated for reality, trying to understand the landscape and, more importantly, what effect it was having on him. Another part screamed for panic, rattling off paranoid scenarios and preposterous explanations. The two argued and clouded Will’s mind. He threw his hands to his head, telling them to stop, screaming for them to be quiet and lay still, but they continued on. The panicking voice was winning.

A voice rang through the darkness, silencing the voices in Will’s head. He swung his head around in all directions, looking everywhere for the source of the voice. He couldn’t make out what it had said; only that it had said something. He desperately wanted to stand up from the chair and search for it in the darkness, but he still could not bring himself to part with it. The voice was a male one, deep and reverberating, one that both annoyed and calmed Will. It had sung one note and ceased, existing now only as an echo in his head.

“Wake up!” the voice sounded again, this time resounding through its echoes so that Will could understand it. It confused him even more, he looked down at what he thought was the ground and stared blankly into it, shifting his eyes from side to side in thought. What did the voice mean, wake up? Was this a dream? If it was, how could he even wake up?

A sharp pain entered his side, causing him to grab it in reaction and cry out in pain. It was piercing, and seemingly growing with each second. Soon it agonized him so he could no longer scream. And, all of a sudden, it stopped. The pain ceased all at once and retreated back into the darkness as if it had never existed. Will began to feel a feeling in his heart, one of happiness and warmth. He smiled and relaxed, leaning back into the chair and closing his eyes. He let out a small laugh, one single breath, and let himself fall into a peaceful sleep.

“Will, you fucker, wake up!” Adam cried, punching Will in the side to try and stimulate the pegasus’s muscle into activating. The sound pierced his ears so horribly he had to stop screaming at Will and close his hooves over his ears in agony. “Please, just make it stop!”

“Calm down, Adam,” Zach sighed. He looked back at the other ponies in their party to see they were still watching Pinkie Pie sing. He turned his attention back to Adam, who was having a seizure on the ground next to a still unconscious Will. Zach facehoofed, something he seemed to spend most of his time doing so he had gotten pretty good at it. Adam continued squirming on the ground, his muscles twitching involuntarily and his eyes rolling back into his head. The veins in his neck protruded from his neck in a most terrifying manner. Zach sat down next to him and sighed. He was no doctor, and certainly had no idea what to do in the case of a seizure. All he could do was what he did best. Stay calm and collected, and watch with disdain. The ponies behind him were jumping around and laughing, singing and having a good time, while one friend lied in a coma and the other possibly dying at his hooves.

The moment seemed frozen in time, Zach staring at his two friends helplessly. He wondered if it was actually possible for ponies to die; he had never seen or heard of anything like it in the show. But, nonetheless, if his friends were to die who would inform their families? Their friends? Are they still there back home, or have they disappeared? Their mates must be going crazy looking for them, contacting police, searching forests and parks for what they hoped were not their bodies. Who would tell them that their friends would never return to them, that they died in an entirely different world? Zach almost couldn’t bear it. He continued to stare down at his friends’ bodies, going through each somber thought in his head one by one, thinking about their funerals, what he would say as a eulogy. He almost shed a tear when he heard Pinkie Pie sing her final loud note, and the mares behind him fell to the ground laughing.

“Well, glad that’s over!” Adam shouted with glee, jumping up from his seizure in less than a second and standing perfectly fine. He looked down at a very confused and sad Zach, who looked up at him in turn with slightly wet eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing,” Zach sighed, standing up. “Just thought the world had finally granted me mercy and killed you both.”

“Nonsense!” Adam shouted gleefully, smacking Zack on the back. It hurt far more than Adam intended, but Zach made no complaint. “You’re far too unlucky for that! Why, you’re almost as unlucky as the other Zack!” Zach snorted at this, then realized Will was still lying unconscious on the forest floor.

“Uh, Adam?” He said, pointing to the unconscious pegasus on the ground.

“Oh, right, right,” Adam remembered, hoisting Will onto his back once more. The black pegasus had a smile on his face for some reason. He wasn’t muttering nonsense anymore, much to Adam’s appreciation, and thankfully wasn’t a snorer either. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Zach agreed, and let Adam pass him before following the blue stallion to the mares who were now standing up and laughing. The mares hadn’t even noticed the stallions during Pinkie’s song, and didn’t seem to care what they had been doing. Whatever, who cares about them anyway? We all know what they’ve been up to. This story is about the guys. So how about we quit with this canon bullshit and get on with it!

------------------------------------------Getting on with it--------------------------------------------

The rushing waters of the river thrashed about like Adam’s mother in bed. While the rest of the group stayed away from the river’s edge, Adam peered into the surging water with curiously alert attention. After a few moments of examination, both of the river by him and of him by the other ponies, Adam stood straight up and stuck his hoof out over the water. With a gloriously lazy shift of weight he teetered over the edge and into the water below.

“Uhm…” Twilight mumbled. “Is anyone going to help him?”

“He’ll be ok.” Zach assured.

“I’m not ok!” Came a scream from the river.

“He’s ok.” Zach lied.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fish him out!” Pinkie yelped, quickly bouncing down the river and out of sight. A few seconds later, a squeal that should have been masculine but most certainly didn’t sound like it echoed throughout the forest.

“We are wasting so much canon time.” Zach moaned as his hoof connected with his face.

“What’s canon?” Twilight inquired, turning her attention away from whatever Pinkie was doing to Adam. “I’ve heard you mention it several times.”

“It’s everything the creators of a show decided officially happens in the show!” Pinkie Pie yelled from down the river.

“Uh, yea. What she said.”

“Why do you keep mentioning it?” Twilight asked.

“Uh….” Zach mumbled. “I, uh…”

“Why is it important that we follow this ‘canon’? Is there something you aren’t telling us?” Twilight asked as she walked toward Zach.

“I, no, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Zach said quickly while backing away from Twilight. He quickly ran into a tree, allowing Twilight to stand right in front of him. She stared daggers into his eyes while he panicked a bit. He smiled a small smile in the hopes that she would believe him.

“I know you’re hiding something,” Twilight stated, still staring into Zach’s eyes. “You know where you came from, don’t you?”

“I told you, I don’t remember anything!” Zach said nervously.

“Twilight, calm down,” Applejack said. “ I don’t know why you’re so worked up, but it ain’t Zach’s fault. If he don’t remember nothin’, then he can’t help that.”

Twilight stood still and silent, still staring into Zach’s nervous eyes while AJ’s words sunk in. After a few moments, she moved away from Zach and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Zach. I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s alright,” Zach said, moving away from the tree he had been pinned to. “We’re all stressed right now.”

“Yea, yea,” Adam grunted as he and Pinkie emerged from the treeline. “Let’s all talk about our feelings.” Adam was soaking wet and bleeding from the mouth, while Pinkie bounced next to him with a fishing hat on.

“What happened to you?” Rarity asked, “You look dreadful.”

“That did.” Adam said, sticking a hoof out at Pinkie.

“ I fished him out!” Pinkie yelled with glee.

“You fished him out?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yep, it was easy! All I had to do was put a twizzler on the hook and he went right for it!”

“Since Will isn’t awake to say it, I will in his honor.” Zach stated. “Fat ass.”

“Shut up.”

Author's Note

I think I might just blow through the next part to get it over with. I have no ideas for it and I feel like it would be incredibly boring.

Memory Loss

“Is he gonna make it Doc?”

“He’s stable now. He should be fine, with some rest he should wake up soon.”

“Would a cupcake wake him up faster?”

“Shut up Pinkie.”

“Hey! Don’t you talk to her like that!”

“I’ll talk however I damn well please!”

Zach woke up to a sharp ringing in his ears and a migraine thundering against his skull. This would be a normal wake up for him, except for the needle he felt jutting out of his foreleg. His eyes felt like bonfires, but he managed to slowly open them to reveal a bright haze. Once the haze had dissipated and his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight coming in through the window, he looked around to find out where he was.

It was a stereotypical hospital room, complete with an old television playing some pony version of a soap opera. Zach dismissed it immediately; he never liked soap operas. Other than the tv, the room was relatively empty save a few chairs, some medical equipment and another bed across from Zach’s. In it lay what appeared to be a sleeping pegasus. As Zach woke up fully and began to remember the events of the night prior, he recognized the pegasus’s black coat as the coat of an asshole. Continuing his assessment of the room he noticed another, larger pony fast asleep on one of the chairs by the door. He was snoring loudly, obnoxiously. Like a fat pony would snore. Because the pony is Adam. And Adam is fat.

The door opened gently as a nurse pony walked in, hesitating with surprise when she noticed Zach sitting upright in his bed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were awake.” She said in a soft, gentle voice. She carried two trays of food in her magic, setting one down next to each bed.

“It’s fine, I just woke up anyway.” Zach replied kindly. “Excuse me, but where am I exactly?”

“I thought you might be a bit confused,” The nurse answered as she checked to see if Will showed any signs of consciousness. “Your friend brought you in with a pretty bad head injury.”

“Who?” Zach asked. The nurse pointed to the stallion asleep on the chair.

“That big guy. Brought you and the pegasus- I assume another friend?”

“That’s a stretch…” Zach sighed.

“Anyway, he came in yesterday carrying you both on his back, sweating and panting like crazy. We wheeled the pegasus-“

“His name is Will,” Zach interrupted. “And the other’s name is Adam.”

“That’s useful,” The nurse said as she wrote the name down on a clipboard at the end of Will’s bed. “We tried to wheel Will off to surgery for his side wound, but Adam wouldn’t let him go.”

“Really?” Zach asked, looking at his quietly sleeping blue friend.

“Yea,” The nurse continued, “We had to patch up the wound in the room because he wouldn’t leave. I tried to get him into a room, he has a lot of injuries himself, but he wouldn’t leave you two.”

“I never expected that of him,” Zach muttered, to which the nurse shrugged.

“Can’t judge a book by its cover, I always say,” She said as she trotted towards the door. “Do you need anything? Another blanket?”

“No, thanks.” Zach said as she left the room. As the door clicked shut, Zach turned his attention to Adam. “Ok Adam, she’s gone.”

“Thank god!” Adam sighed as he jumped up from his chair. He trotted over to Zach’s bed and leaned onto the end of it. “I thought she’d never leave. How’d you know I was faking?”

“I didn’t hear the sound of a diesel engine coming from your mouth anymore.”

“Oh, right.”

“What happened to me?” Zach asked. “Why am I in the hospital?”

“Oh, yea.” Adam said as he helped himself to Will’s tray of food. “So we were on our way to save the world with all of those other pony things, right? Then we come across this old castle thing, broken all to hell, and the purple one-“

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twifart Spitfall starts screaming about the “Elements of Harmony” or whatever. Then there’s some vortex thingy and she disappears into it with a bunch of rock things, and there’s a light at another old castle up on a hill, so we ran up there to see what was going on.” Adam finished as he ripped into the roll on Will’s tray.

“You didn’t tell me why I’m in the hospital.” Zach moaned.

“Oh yea. While we were running up the stairs to the old castle thing, you kinda tripped and fell all the way down. Hit every single stair.”

“Figures,” Zach muttered.

“Yea, you missed out. Big boss fight and everything. Giant magic horses and big rainbow things. It was gay as fuck, you and Will would have loved it.”

“How is he?” Zach asked. Adam glanced at a beeping machine and shrugged.

“He’ll pull through. He’s been through worse.”

“I know. But I’m a bit worried this time.”

“Why? It’s not like anything happened that hasn’t happened before.”

“He’s never been slashed by a chimera’s tail before,” Zach pointed out. “And he has only been a pony for a couple of days.”

“First time for everything,” Adam shrugged. “And for the record, he has been slashed by a chimera before.”

“Ok, he hasn’t been slashed by a manticore’s tail before.”

“Much better.”

------------------------------------------------Manehattan---------------------------------------------

“Where the fuck am I?” Icy asked himself. Around him was a small cell of iron bars, rusted and old like what one might find in a small town jail. The cell was empty, save for the bed he lied on. The lights were dim and dirty, and any light from windows was completely void.

“You’re in jail, son.” A gruff old voice called from across the room. Icey squinted to see the owner of the voice, but it appeared to be shrouded in shadow.

“In jail for what?” Icy asked. He heard a sigh and the shuffling of papers around. The voice cleared its throat after a couple of seconds.

“Let’s see here; Vandalism, Public Indecency, Profanity, Unauthorized Crater Creating, and Unregistered Falling from the Sky.”

“What?” Icy asked. He heard a moan from the voice.

“Vandalism, Public Ind-“

“Just the last part.”

“Unregistered Falling from the Sky.” The voice read in an annoyed tone.

“I fell from the sky?” Icy asked. He must have heard him wrong. Twice.

“Apparently you did. I wonder how though, seeing as you aren’t a pegasus.”

“I’m not a what now?” Icey asked. He must have lost his hearing or something. Surely he did.

“Are you deaf, boy?” The voice asked. Icy could hear a chair scratch across the floor and… hooves? “I said you aren’t a pegasus.” The voice said as he stepped into the light where Icy could see him. Icy blinked once, then again. Standing before him was a brown, cartoon looking horse in a policeman’s uniform.

“What. The. Fuck.” He muttered. The guard looked at him, confused.

“What’s wrong, sonny? Ain’t you ever seen a policepony before?”

“Can’t say I have, no.” Icy said, quickly smacking himself in the face. It hurt way more than he thought it would. “Nope, this is the first.”

“Where you from, boy?” The guard asked.

“Oh, a small town. You’ve probably never heard of it.” Icy lied.

“What’s it called? I might have heard of it.” The guard said.

“I doubt it.”

“What is it? Hoofburg? Appleoosa? Ponyville?”

“Yea, sure.” Icy said.

“Which one? Ponyville?” The guard asked.

“Yea, sure.” Icy repeated. The guard shook his head as the horn on his head started to glow. A clipboard floated over in front of his face and he began to write something down on it. Icy blinked again as he watched the clipboard simply float in mid air.

“You got folks in Ponyville?” The guard asked.

“Yea, sure.” Icy said again. The guard glanced at him, then went back to writing.

“Ok, kid. I thought you looked like you were coming up from that way.”

“Uh huh.” Icy said, still examining the floating clipboard. “How are you doing that?” He asked. The guard looked at him with a look of bewilderment.

“Were you born yesterday?” He asked, to which Icy shook his head. “It’s magic. Even little unicorns can do this.”

“Well, sorry.” Icy said as the guard got back to writing. “I don’t know what ‘unicorns’ are capable of.”

“You should,” The guard said over his clipboard, “Seeing as you are one yourself.”

“Beg pardon?” Icy asked. Now he definitely heard him wrong.

“You must have hit the ground harder than I thought.” The guard muttered. He ripped the page he had been writing on and held it on Icy’s side of the bars, along with a pen. “Ok, kid. For some bloody reason Celestia herself pardoned you, so you’re free to go. All you gotta do is sign this here release form.”

“Alright.” Icy said as he reached for the pen. However, instead of grabbing the pen as he had intended, he knocked it out of the air with his stub of an arm. He quickly examined it to find it was not a stub, but a hoof. He blinked, then again. Then again.

“You alright there, son?” The guard asked as Icy stared at his light blue hoof.

“Yea,” Icy muttered. “I’m just trying to remember if I’m high on shrooms right now or not.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” The guard said, waving the paper in Icy’s face. “Just sign the damn form, kid.”

“I don’t know how to.” Icy said, still examining his hoof.

“Just hold the pen in your mouth and write like a normal pony.” The guard sighed.

“Uh… Ok…” Icy muttered as he grabbed the pen in between his teeth. He pulled it across the paper as best he could and tried to sign his name. “How’s that?” The guard pulled it back through the bars to examine it.

“Good enough,” The guard sighed. “Irog?”

“Sure.”

“Your mother must not like you.” The guard said as he floated over a ring full of keys.

“She has never heard the end of it.” Icy lied. The guard unlocked his cell and swung the door open for him. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” The guard said as he floated over another couple pieces of paper. “There’s your pardon slip and a voucher for a train to Ponyville. I suggest you go back an stay with your folks. Train station’s down the street two blocks, then left for two blocks, then right for three.”

“Thanks,” Icy said as he walked towards what he assumed was the door outside. “I think I might stick around here for a bit though.” He waved goodbye to the policepony and pushed through the door and into the street. Across the street in an alley, two very sketchy ponies exchanged money and substances. Next to the door, a prostitute pony pleasured a very important looking businesspony, and farther down the street a group of obviously drunk hooligans sprayed graffiti on one of the many brick walls lining the street. Icy took one look around, and smiled. “Nope, fuck this place.” He said cheerfully as he turned and began to follow the directions to the train station.

-----------------------------------------------Ponyville-------------------------------------------------

Now that the crisis of eternal darkness had been averted, Twilight focused her attention to finally looking into the strange ponies that had seemingly fallen from the sky, and not in the way that Rainbow does whenever she fails one of her tricks. She sat down at her desk in the library with several books on meteorites, alien sightings, parallel dimensions, anything that could provide insight as to how ponies materialized out of thin air.

After a couple of hours and a few books, Zach entered Twilight’s study with a pastry. Nothing else, just a pastry. Don’t judge him, he’s hungry. He was in the hospital for two days until an hour ago. And hospital food sucks.

“What are you doing?” Zach asked as he enjoyed his delicious pastry. It melted on his tongue, as most Sugarcube Corner products do. Pinkie Pie is such a good baker, isn’t she?”

“Trying to figure out where you came from.” Twilight answered from inside the pages of a book titled ‘Parallel Universe 57: The Spaghetti God’. “You don’t worship a giant blob of floating noodles, do you?”

“Can’t say that I do.”

“Damn.” Twilight cursed, throwing the book into a discarded book pile, full of other discarded books of a discarded nature. “I was getting somewhere with that.”

“Don’t you think you should take a break?” Zach asked. He had finished his pastry, which he decided was incredibly scrumptious. He would have to go get another one. But that was his first and only free one, so he’d need bits. Damn, where would he get bits? “You’ve been at it for quite some time.”

“You’re right.” Twilight sighed, closing the book she had started after discarding her last one. “It’s time to experiment on you guys.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, seeing as though I am gaining no insight from books, I’ll have to conduct my own experiments. On you guys.” Twilight explained. Zach wished he had another pastry right about now. “Where are the other two?”

“Will’s still unconscious, and Adam’s with him.” Zach said. Twilight looked at him, confused.

“Has Adam left the hospital since he brought you two there?” Twilight asked. Zach shook his head. “Even after you checked out?”

“Nope.”

“I thought he hated Will?” Twilight asked.

“Those two are strange. They hate each other, sure.” Zach explained, “They are polar opposites in almost every way. Well, other than sadism.”

“Sadism?” Twilight asked.

“They like to hurt things.” Zach explained.

“Oh. I didn’t know there was a word for such a horrible thing.”

“Anyway, even though they want to murder each other constantly, and they both get hurt pretty badly when they are around each other,” Zach shrugged, “They’re very good friends. One won’t let the other die on his watch.”

“Huh,” Twilight muttered, putting a hoof to her chin in thought. “This whole ‘friend’ thing is still new to me. Is that a normal friendship?”

“No.” Zach stated. “Not in the slightest. They are both crazy.”

“Oh, good.” Twilight sighed. “I was afraid making friends was going to be painful.”

“Don’t count on that just yet.” Zach muttered. Suddenly, the door to Twilight’s room swung open, revealing a rather pissed off looking Applejack. She could definitely use a pastry.

“Applejack?” Twilight asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t stand that darn stallion Twalight,” Applejack stated as she stormed into the room. “He won’t let any of us in ta see how that poor pegasus is doin’.”

“Why won’t he?” Twilight asked.

“Says we ain’t ‘trustworthy’”.

“Don’t take it personally,” Zach said. “Adam is a very paranoid per-, pony. He only met you the other day. I’m surprised he even talked to you to begin with.”

“Don’t give him an excuse to be rude to everypony.” Applejack pointed out.

“No, but you have to understand that Will is in one of his more severe comas.” Zach explained.

“He’s had multiple comas?” Twilight asked.

“Long stories. Anyway, since Will has been out for a few days now, Adam is starting to get legitimately worried for him. Because of this, he doesn’t want anyone to have a chance of hurting him further.” Zach explained. “So he isn’t going to let anypony near Will without his say so. Funny thing is, he’s never gone this far in protecting him before.”

“Ya know, that’s actually a really good thing for a friend to do,” Applejack pointed out.

“Now you have to understand that Adam is only doing this so that he can hurt Will more in the future,” Zach explained, to which he got two shocked expressions. “That’s how the system works.”

“How does that work?” Twilight asked.

“They’re both nuts.”

“Are ya sure he doesn’t just care a lot about him?” Applejack asked.

“You know, I’ve wondered that myself,” Zach answered, “They could hate each other so much that they care deeply about one another. Adam could be extra protective right now because they are both in a strange environment.”

“I think this calls for a friendship study!” Twilight said excitedly, grabbing several scrolls and quills and stuffing them into saddlebags. “To the hospital!”

“Oh dear god.” Zach moaned.