I The Advisor

by BioChemicalWolfGear

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human
Length: 4606

I'm a human and I ended up in Equestria as an Advisor.

Andrew was a normal human 23 year old just starting his journey into the real world. Then he gets pulled into Equestria and deformed into a creature that's been in the dreams/nightmare's of every Half Life 2 player in the world.

The Advisor.

(This is a story I work on in my free time or when I don't have anything else to write)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-27 03:09:14 UTC

Chapter 1: Taking A Tumble

“ARE YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?!” I shouted to my ‘girlfriend’.

“Are you kidding?  Don’t wuss out now!  We’re almost at the top!” shouted the incredibly attractive woman, in climbing gear, that was twenty feet higher up than I am.

We were in the Grand Canyon, yeah some place to mountain climb, right?  Well we were trying to mountain climb our way out after we got lost along one of its rivers.  It was supposed to be a romantic getaway.

She’s always been the most active one in our relationship.  I always opted to get my lazy ass away from the computer, to go bike riding or something like that.  At first it annoyed me, but after a while I began to think she may be just what I needed to get me to be active again.  It might actually do me some good, so when we went on dates it was always at a restaurant…then a bike ride  home…I love-hated our time together.

However, my sadistic girlfriend decided she should make me climb up the fossil-covered cliff face of a below sea level canyon.  It was grueling considering I’ve only done this a few times in my life.  The only real experience with rock climbing I had was with a rock climbing wall in a mall, when I was a kid.

Only problem was I never made it passed the half-way point, before I started crying and asked to get down.

Ten years later I’m just as scared, but with no tears this time.

“I TOLD YOU!  I DON’T LIKE WALL CLIMBING!”

“MAN UP!”

“NO!”

I tried to catch up and follow her exact path, before she got too far ahead of me to not remember where she went.  She was zig-zagging up the cliff face, and putting her hands in places my bulkier hands would never fit.

“ARE YOU SURE WE’RE RIGHT BELOW THE PARKING LOT?”

“SHUT UP AND CLIMB!”

That meant no.

I was a good twenty feet above the sixty degree incline that we had to hike up to get here.  There were a lot of loose rocks that were in both our paths.  Some she actually pulled out, to ‘throw at me’ so she could get a better grip.  I however was a dumb ass, and found them good to use to stand on for a while until I grabbed another rock.

I was catching up to her, and found my own path that looked easier.  I questioned why she went left instead of right, but I didn’t question for long as I went that way.  I noticed this part seemed a little redder than the other rocks as well, but I pushed that to the side of my ‘shit to do’ list since my current objective is getting over the rock.

My girlfriend looked down to see my progress, and she got a worried expression.

“Careful, those rocks are a bit loose.”

“What do you mean?”  I said putting my hand on a loose rock, and inavertly creating a miniature land slide, which pulled me off the cliff face with it.

“ANDREW!”

“AW, FUCK!”  I shouted, as I realized I wasn’t gripping any solid surface.

I landed on an angle from the inclined plain of a slope and started rolling head over heels down the mountain slide.  I kept on tumbling, until I landed on a an outcropping of a rock.

“AW, GOD DAMMIT!”

I landed hard.  VERY hard.  I felt paralyzed for a moment, before I realized I may have broken a rib.

“ANDREW, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!”

“YEAH! YEAH, JUST…CALL SOMEONE!  I’LL JUST, REST OR SOMETHING!”

“OK ,YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT TOO HURT!”

“I CAN’T MOVE, BUT I’M OK!”

“I’LL CALL THE POLICE!”

I watched as she pulled a cell phone out of those tight buns of hers.  As in her back pocket.  I watched her type some numbers in the phone, before I realized my vision was getting blurry and I felt several pricks in my back.

I reached behind me to find a small den, that was under the outcropping rock.  Then I felt another bite on my arm, and I lifted it in pain.  I feared what I saw when my arm came up with a rattlesnake latched onto my wrist.  I tried to pull it off with, success and threw it away.

Now I was panicking and I realized that pain in my side may be other bites.  And if my knowledge of rattlesnakes was good, then that means I’m fucked if I’ve been bitten multiple times by a pissed off snake.

I heard the rattling of at least two other snakes below me, and I felt something slithering below my back.  I was pretty sure that I’ve landed on another snake and hopefully I killed it or mortally wounded it because I didn’t want to deal with yet another snake bite.

Then the inevitable… I was bitten AGAIN!  By the wounded snake under me.  I got me in the back of my neck, and I quickly found my vision spinning and my eyes got extremely sensitive.

Then, my vision blackened.

The world around me faded back into view very slowly.

At first, it was a few bright colors, and then it was minor details.  I could feel my left eye, or what I thought was my left eye, and somehow my vision zoomed in.  I couldn’t feel my right eye, but my left side of my face seems to have another eye.  I knew this couldn’t be normal, but the problem was it felt normal.  As if my body was built like it.

Then my vision cleared, and I was able to see my surroundings.  I also had more motor function, which to say, was very little motor function.  I tried to move my arms, to realize I didn’t have any.  The first thing that came to mind was. ‘Is this a dream?’ But that was set aside as no since it felt so real.

I started to get worried, and I stopped moving to get a hold of myself before I start panicking.  I took a quick assessment of everything I felt.  My body shocked me with its weird new design, I knew I wasn’t missing limbs from a fall, or I’m just wounded in some way because I gained matter that I didn’t have before.  I also noticed my body was in the shape of some oval.

I even felt heavier.  Once I took the quick assessment of my body, the question remained…‘WHAT AM I?!’.  I could feel some sort of ceramic fabric around my body, except for my face.  There seemed to be a muzzle of some sort on my mouth.  I couldn’t tell what I was yet, but I tried to move around and found that I wasn’t a giant bean.  I had muscles, so I could turn my head left and right and move my eyes around.

Now that I know what I am, or what I think I am, I can focus on my surroundings.

Getting a better look at my surroundings, I found myself in a very dark forest.  My visor, or what I think is a visor, was covered in green grass.  I tried to pick myself up in some way, and surprisingly by my will alone I started floating.

‘What the fuck?  I can fly? Umm… I’ll take it.’

I zoomed out, so I can see more of my surroundings, but also felt I needed to draw a mental map of my current area.  I maneuvered my large body so I would be facing the other direction to come face to face with another creature.  I looked at the being, and began mentally panicking.

‘THIS IS NOT EARTH!’

What I saw before me was a lion with bat wings and a scorpion tail.  If I wasn’t panicking at first, I panicked now.  I knew I wasn’t on Earth any more.  In my haste, I soared above the tree canopy and began flying in a random direction.  I stopped after I went roughly a half mile from my starting position.  By this point I had calmed down a bit, and I could now think straight rather than run away from the situation.  I tried to get my bearings by looking at my surroundings.

From above, I spotted a small clearing in the forest and I descended to find a small pond.  What I found wasn’t actually a clearing, but a small lake with still water.  The moon reflected off of it as if it were a mirror, and I thought I could see my image if I wanted.  I looked into the water's reflective surface.

I was shocked at what I saw.  I’m an Advisor.  An Advisor from the game 'Half Life 2' to be exact.  I was a creature that controlled armies, and could float with my mental abilities alone.  I remember them having the ability to slam their tongues into a creature's skull, and rip apart their brain.  Not only that, but they also had the ability to assault a creature's mind directly.  I don’t know if it was a possibly fatal ability, but I know it’s effective enough to incapacitate something.

I pondered my existence for a minute, before I quickly accepted my fate.

‘Ok being an Advisor isn’t that bad.  I can fly, I can lift roofs, I can pick people and animals up that might want to hurt me, I can also bash skulls in with my tongue… you know?  Maybe this isn’t as bad as it seems.  Hopefully I’m the most powerful thing here and I’ll be able to get used to this new life without much difficulty.'

I quickly left the pond, and ascended into the skies trying to avoid anything on the ground for now.  I stopped to think for a moment.

‘Wait does this mean that I don’t have to eat?  Or do I?... I guess I’ll know when I’m hungry.  Oh wait, Jenny!  FUCK!  I don’t have a girlfriend, well I think I do, but I doubt she’d go for an Advisor.  Not like she’ll know what one looks like.  Oh man, this is some really fucked up shit.’

I continued flying for what felt like hours in the night sky, until I saw some lights in the distance.

‘YES, CIVILIZATION!  Wait… what if they fear Advisors.  Or worse they’ve fought the Combine before?  Nah, those guys were fiction, not real.  Though I’ll be safe and keep some distance for a while, just in case.’

I flew over to the town and observed from afar.  I could tell all was silent, by the significant lack of white noise and lights.  At this point, I figured everyone was inside so I could safely enter the village without any uproar.

Once inside the village, I looked around.  Even in my new form that was bigger than a human I could easily figure out the proportions that these buildings have, and quickly figured out they were too small to be regular human villages.  I floated slowly around the village and found nothing of interest.  I noticed the sky getting brighter and the moon was now on the horizon.

Dawn was coming.

I moved to the edge of the town, to avoid any early risers.  From the tree line I watched the small village come to life.  What I saw before me awed me, as I saw mini horses coming out of the houses.

‘Well…I guess I’m not in Kansas anymore.’

Chapter 2: Contact

‘Ok so there are mini-horses in the town… right, well it’s not that bad I guess.  I can fly so they can’t hurt me.’

I saw a Pegasus horse flying around in the sky above the quiet village of equines.

‘…They still can’t hurt me.  And if they do, I’ll pick their brains with my tongue.’

The implications of that thought only hit me a few seconds later, and I was instantly disgusted by the aspect of putting my tongue inside the skull of a living creature.

‘The fuck!  Am I a psychopath?  There is no way I’m going to put my tongue in another creature!  Unless of course I get hungry.’

Keeping close to the tree line I moved deeper into the forest.  Of course meeting the local citizens was a top priority, because not only that I like interacting with people, but more importantly I wanted to meet a creature one on one to see the overall reaction to me.  If one horse-thing saw me and ran into town, the others might come to help out.  But it would be like the boy who cried wolf.  Once they’re there I won’t be in sight and far away.  This will make them believe whoever I met was lying.

It was a flawless plan.

Now who to meet with?

*quack*

‘OH SHIT!’

I looked around and I found myself near a cottage, populated by different types of animals.  But right now I was actually flying above the trees and next to a flock of ducks whom are currently descending toward said cottage.

‘Ok well curse me and my deep thinking.  I got so distracted I actually wondered into an… animal shelter?’

It looked a lot like one; there were many different types of animals that were both wild and domesticated.  I saw a small pack of dogs in a corner of the cottage, and almost instinctively went over to pet them… then I realized I didn’t have hands to do so, so I didn’t go near them.  God I love dogs.  Especially goldens, those are my favorite because you just need to potty-train them, and they’re very fun as puppies and are lazy so the owner can do whatever he or she pleases when the dog isn’t hyped.

“All right little bunnies, let’s get-what are you?” a timid voice made itself known behind me.

I spun around slowly, and came face-to-face with a canary yellow Pegasus.  I was surprised it spoke English, but I pushed that to the back of my mind and counted it as good luck.  She also wasn’t panicking, so that was a good sign.  But she was analyzing me carefully, so to keep from scaring her I let her analyze me.

‘Analyze faster… no faster… ugh faster.’

She still stood there, and after about thirty seconds, timidly, she started to flap her wings that were too small to keep her afloat.  Much to my surprise she started floating up to me.

‘Ok play it cool, and back up a little.  If she’s an animal rescuer, she’ll try to help me when I’m scared, so I should play the scared animal part.  But not too scared, maybe just cautious.’

I kept in my new character, and backed up a bit from her advances.  She slowed to a stop a few meters in front of me with a concerned look on her face.

‘Andrew’s victory condition is now 60%.

The Pegasus looked a bit confused, but her features softened to a tender smile that went straight to my heart.  I started to actually feel at ease from that smile alone, and I figured that’s how she’s able to tame wild animals like the ones that flock outside her house.  It’s an interesting concept, and one I wasn't familiar with.  But I’ve been playing games for so long that I can get into sync with any new world and its wacky rules.

“There, there.  I won’t hurt you.” she said tenderly.

‘Well if she keeps this up, she might actually tame me… nah I’m Andrew fucking Gilman.  No one is my master.

“If you come with me, I’ll take care of you.” she said hovering closer to me.

‘Yes master… WAIT WHAT?!

After my mental shenanigans, I inched closer cautiously toward the small yellow Pegasus.  She smiled with glee and I wanted to put her in a cage and stare at her for hours.  But no I’d rather not do that, because the horse-things will get mad.

I went closer to her and went right up to her face slowly as I was eager to finish this first encounter with the equine race.  The yellow Pegasus started petting me above my face, with a content smile on her face.

“My name is Fluttershy.  What are you?” she said curiously.

‘Fluttershy eh?  Well I can accept that.  I don’t expect her to call herself Andrew after all.’

And of course I can’t respond to her because Advisors… can’t speak… or can they?

‘Didn’t Dr. Breen talk to an Advisor in the screen?  Maybe I can use telepathy or something.

I tried to concentrate on Fluttershy, and her content smile turned to a confused expression.  Like she had seen something at the corners of her eyes and she started looking around.   I quickly stopped whatever I was doing, and I noticed that some other animals were surprisingly looking around at the other animals that did the same thing.

“What was that?” Fluttershy asked, looking around.  “Is everyone ok?” She floated down to the creatures below.

They started nodding their heads and making some sort of motions, to say they were ok.  At this point I realized that animals were the sentient beings here.  I wondered if humans exist here.  I’m sure this isn’t Earth, because I’ve never heard of a pony civilization.  If there was one, we’d have heard about it by now, since the whole world has been documented by now.  The only places we have trouble with is the ocean and some really dense jungle areas.  And this place doesn’t look like a jungle.

“Oh well, oh I know, how to find out what you are!” she said with excitement in her voice.  “I’ll ask Twilight for a book about rare and mysterious creatures.” The yellow pony did an about face and flew off toward the town.

‘Well... mission successful?  I think.  Whatever, I’m happy I didn’t become public enemy number one, but that was kinda anti-climactic and disappointing.’

Looking around for something to do, I found a small bush that was roughly my size.

‘Fuck it.’

I positioned myself over the bush and fell on the poor defenseless shrub, effectively flattening the thing, but it created a really nice bed for me.  I waited and observed the animals that scurried about the lawn and noticed the gate was open.  I instinctively closed it with my powers.

*Slam*

A few animals watched the gate for a few moments with worry, considering its sudden movement.  Some had the look of fear and some dismissed it as the wind.  The traumatized ones stared at it for way longer than the rest.

Fluttershy made her way into town, and chose to walk the rest of the way to the library.  She was an earth pony at heart.  In fact most earth ponies would normally have a similar special talent to Fluttershy’s and she would normally have a talent that has to do with the sky.  But regardless of the oddity of her cutie mark and talent, she is loved by many.  Many animal enthusiasts wish they had Fluttershy’s skill with animals.  But everypony can only wish, but never mean.  Everypony that has a cutie mark would never give it up because it’s their livelihood.

Fluttershy walked by many ponies during her trek to Twilight’s library.  She tried to keep her distance as she tried to mind her own business.  She kept trotting around until the library was in sight.  When she saw it her features lit up with excitement and she started moving at a brisk pace toward the library.

Reaching the library's door, she knocked timidly.

“Fluttershy?” came a voice from the other side of the door.  It opened to reveal a purple dragon with green spikes.  “Oh hey Fluttershy, I knew it was you.” he said cheerfully.

“Oh, am I really that predictable?” inquired Fluttershy, lowering her head.

“No, you’re just the only pony who knocks on the door of a public library.” he stepped aside for Fluttershy to come in, which she did gratefully.  “Looking for Twilight?” Spike asked curiously.

“Oh no, I’m looking for a book on mysterious creatures.” replied Fluttershy, looking around the shelves.

“Oh, I know where those are.” Spike ran across the room and absentmindedly grabbed a ladder that he ran past and brought it with him.  Spike then jumped on the ladder and let it slow itself to a stop at the right shelf that was half way across the room and ascended the step ladder to its center most mass.  Once there he grabbed a book and jumped down.  “Here it is.” he stated with a smile.

“Oh wow, Spike you’re amazing!” Fluttershy said in admiration.

“Thanks.”

“Spike?  Who is it?” asked a female voice from upstairs.  A purple unicorn came out of the doorway upstairs and immediately upon entering the room, her face lit up. “Oh hey, Fluttershy!  What brings you here?”

“Hello Twilight.  I was trying to find a book on rare and mysterious creatures.” she said with more confidence being around her friends.

“Really?” Twilight started descending the stairs. “Why’s that?”

“Well, I found a weird creature that has the ability to fly, but has no wings.  I want to know if it’s anything Equestria has heard of before.”

Twilight reached the bottom of the stairs and stared directly at Fluttershy.  “Fly without wings?” a grin spread across her face. “Hahaha that’s pretty funny.”

“Umm... I’m not joki-”

“You almost had me there.  Who put you up to it?  Rainbow?”

“Umm, no actually I found-”

“Oh no wait!  It was Pinkie!  Rainbow doesn’t have the creativity for something like that.  Pinkie on the other hand, can think of things more wacky than her.” Twilight giggled and then looked at Fluttershy’s unimpressed look. “Ooooh, uh sorry, go ahead.” Twilight motioned her on with her hoof.

“As I was saying.” started Fluttershy softly. “While I was tending to my animals, a weird creature that was able to fly without wings wondered into my yard.  Umm, I’m not sure what it is, but when I tried to get closer, it backed away, so I assumed it’s never seen a pony before.  But it didn’t do the same with the animals, so I’m not sure if it’s been around ponies before.”

“Uh, really?  Well I’m sorry Fluttershy but I can’t believe that something without wings can fly.  But how about I help you find out what it is.” responded Twilight with a grin.

“Uh, I don’t know Twilight, he seemed a bit uncomfortable around ponies…”

“Maybe I can observe from a distance?” Twilight offered.

Fluttershy’s expressions turned from unsure to excited. “Oh that’s perfect!  I think we can do that.” answered Fluttershy, nodding her head in agreement.

I couldn’t help but roll around until the bushes sticks were pushed down so they wouldn’t poke me in my Advisor fat.  After five minutes of doing the same motion, I was able to find a very comfortable position.  I rolled on my side and felt some sort of different poking in what I assume is my back.

‘Wait is that the thing that Advisors have on their back?’

I felt it up with my back and I realized the reason I didn’t notice it before.  It was implanted in my body.  I quickly remembered that arms were attached to that and I tried to locate any new limbs I didn’t realize I had before.

No such luck.

I was basically an Advisor that just got out of its life-support.  I wonder if I have the powers to crunch metal barrels like the Advisor did, when I first saw them in Episode 2.  Although, I was brought out of my fantasy of crushing sheet metal by some prodding in my side.  I tried to look around and spot the disturbance, but my neck being the neck that it is.  Or more likely not the neck it should be.  Couldn’t turn to face whatever was disturbing me.

I floated up and looked at the creature.  A bunny.  A little white bunny with crossed arms that was glaring at me and stomping his feet impatiently.

‘What do you want, Bugs?’

I thought to myself since I couldn’t speak.  He pointed to the bush I crushed that was right outside Fluttershy’s cottage and he started miming ‘no crush’ with his bunny paws by shaking his head no and then hitting his other paw like it was crushing it.  Needless to say I realized animals are more sentient than I originally perceived.

‘What does he want me to do about it?’

I looked at the bush and an idea formed in my head.

‘Why not try to fluff it back up?’

And I began to try to fluff it back up to its original, un-murdered state.  It started to be surrounded by heat waves that bent the light slightly as I tried concentrating on.  It was like the aura that the Advisor used when picking things up, so I assumed it was just that.

The bush started to inflate due to my attempts to revive the defenseless shrub and even though it was still obvious I crushed it, I was able to get it into a zombie state, where it was neither dead nor alive.

The bunny looked at the bush with bewilderment all over its face, along with some other animals that happened to see me do the miracle.

“Oh, there you are!”

I looked up from the bewildered bunny, to see the Pegasus Fluttershy flying toward me with a smile on her face.  She had a saddlebag strapped to her filled with four books, two on each side.

“I wanted to make sure you’re ok with me bringing a friend over.” said Fluttershy.

Twilight couldn’t believe her eyes.  Not even twenty meters away, was a creature without wings, that was just hovering there in front of her friend just listening to her words.  But Twilight’s researcher side took hold, and she took in every aspect of the creature.

For one, it looked like some sort of larva.  If this is the case, then whatever it’s turning into must be powerful, if it can manipulate its own weight to the point where it can lift itself off the ground.  Another fact was that it had some strange machinery built into its back.  She assumed it was to help it stay afloat.  Then, was the cloth that it was wearing, that had a neck with strange writing on it.  She also noticed the foreign visor, that acted as an eye.  She couldn’t make out the symbols, but she wouldn’t risk getting closer until Fluttershy gives the ok.

The creature bobbed its head and Fluttershy turned around and waved her hoof to come closer.

I watched as the purple unicorn took tentative steps toward me and slowly made her way towards us.

“This is my friend, Twilight Sparkle.  She wants to meet you.” stated Fluttershy confidently.

The unicorn however, meekly said. “Hi.”

‘May I poke your brain?  Why thank you miss.’

I tried to do the same thing I did earlier, and I found myself doing a small screech into their minds.  Each creature of the shelter looked in my direction.  Fluttershy looked at me with shock, after finally putting the pieces together and realizing that was me whom screeched into her mind earlier.  Her friend however figured it out far faster than Fluttershy, and her expression went from nervous to enthusiastic.

“Whoa, that was amazing!  You can speak to minds directly!”

I only just met this unicorn, and I’m already impressed with her enthusiasm.

“That’s just a feat of science that you can do that!  I see the cloth that covers you and the machine on your back.  Who built you?” she ended with less enthusiasm, but the question hung there.

Truth is that was the right question to ask for both our sakes.

‘Yeah, who built my body and why?’

The question imbedded itself in both the unicorn's mind and my own.  Fluttershy however, looked at her strangely.

“Built him?”

Twilight snapped out of her trance and looked away from me to her friend. “Oh umm, I noticed it has machine parts like the visor, and with that idea alone I’m going to assume that he was built… but by whom and why?”

They both looked at me deep in thought.

‘This is going to be a long day.

READ VERY IMPORTANT!

I'm starting this up again.  ;P

Either I'll do a complete rewrite, or I'll upload this in a new story with a different name and rewritten chapters.  I don't want to continue this specific story, but I'll definitely want to do another advisor crossover fic.

WHO WANTS ME TO KEEP ANDREW FUCKING GILLMAN?!?!?