Awake? (Lonely Inky)

Inky wiped her muzzle. She turned on the hot water, and looked at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. She had black bags under her eyes. Her face and inner thighs were crusty from dried body fluids. The slight acrid smell made her wrinkle her nose.

It was funny how somepony could stink of sex and still feel alone, she thought.

From the bathroom, she could see Silver Chain still laying sprawled out on the bed. Inky knew she would leave as soon as she woke up. In fact, she wanted her to. She didn't like having Silver in the apartment after sex. She might do something weird, or try to start a conversation about things Inky didn’t want to talk about.

She splashed her face with water, and dried it with a dirty towel. Silver let out a low moan. Inky looked at the clock on her cell-phone. It was late. Maybe she should make up an excuse. She went back into the living room.

Looking down at the bed, she frowned. Even though Silver was a small earth pony, Inky's bed was a single, so she took up an awful lot of room.

“Silver.”

“Mmm?”

“I gotta go to work soon, and I need to get ready.”

A small silence ensued. Inky opened her mouth to ask if she'd fallen asleep again, but Silver groaned and rolled out of bed. She found and put on her studded collar without looking at Inky.

“Coffee?” Silver asked while checking her phone. In the dim room, the screen lit up her face. Inky looked sideways, her hair covering the left part of her face.

“N-no. All out.”

Silver sighed, and went into the bathroom. She didn't close the door, but came out soon afterwards.

“Yeah, I need to get going anyway.”

The two ponies stood in front of each other, neither of them moving. After a brief pause, Silver gave Inky a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

Inky picked her blanket up off the floor. It was filthy, and stank, but it was her last. She would have to do laundry. She sniffed it again, and a slight smile crept onto her face. The smell reminded her of ThunderSmash.

NO!

Inky shook her head. ThunderSmash wasn't real.

It was all in your head. Stop thinking about her.

Her phone rang. She looked at the display. It was Clear Smiles, her psychologist. Inky thought about not answering it, but Smiles would just bring it up during their next session.

“Yeah?”

“Hey Inky, it's Smiles. How are you doing?”

“Okay.”

“How are your meds?”

Inky looked at her windowsill where several small bottles stood. She had only been taking half her dosage.

“They're making me sleepy. I can barely function at work.”

“Yes well, we talked about how it might be a good idea to find a new job. Have you given any thought to that?”

No.

“I haven’t found anything good, yet.”

“That’s okay. I have some news that might interest you. I’ve heard from my colleague in Baltimare, it seems they’ve had some good trials combining duloxetine with a new form of modafinil. In theory, it should help combat the drowsiness, without affecting your ability to sleep at night. The preliminaries are looking very good, and I thought that you might want to try it.”

Inky didn't want take any more drugs, but after her episode with ThunderSmash, she didn't trust her own judgment anymore. Not that she trusted Clear Smiles, but she didn't know what else to do. It was over a year ago, and that morning still haunted her.

“Can... Can we talk about this on Monday?”

“Sure. See you Monday.”

The rain was coming down hard, as Inky walked along, in a mass of blank faced ponies. It was Friday, the start of another working weekend. She was glad. She never wanted to have the weekend off. Why would she? Either she would sit at home alone, or Silver would call and tell her to come drink with her and her friends.

Inky pushed the door open into CopyFlex. The shop was done in all white, and hummed from the many printers and screens running. Flick, a brown unicorn with a dirt-white mane, looked up from behind the counter.

“There you are, you're late. I gotta drive an express shipment to the UDS, before they ship to Stalliongrad, so I need you to hold the fort. I've got a bunch of t-shirts in the Plaster, they should be done in 20 minutes.”

Flick levitated the cars keys into his pocket.

“Also, we got an odd order for a hoodie. The customer has a lot of pictures, and a pretty vague idea. See if you can whip something up.”

Flick went out the back, closing the door behind him. Inky sat down at the computer and rubbed her eyes. She needed some coffee, or she wouldn't last. She clicked open the customer file.

The first picture that sprang into her eyes was a radiation symbol, in white. Just like ThunderSmash’s cutie mark. She looked through the pictures. They were mostly gray apartment buildings, with some industrial complexes in the background. In three of them, there was a pale sunrise, with the radiation symbol faintly visible within the sun.

The customer hadn't written a name, only a short description of what they wanted.

From: fuchsia-cake@p-mail.equ

"I want a hoodie, something based on these pictures, that shows the solitude that is this city’s heart. Shirt color can be black, gray or blue”.

Inky looked through the pictures again. It was strange seeing Thunder’s cutie mark. Inky rubbed her eyes. Was this a coincidence?

She started browsing the net, seeing if she could find the same pictures elsewhere, but wasn’t having any luck. Maybe she could contact the customer? She could make some suggestions for the design, and then throw in a question or two about where the pictures came from. If she had seen them someplace before, maybe it could explain why she had imagined them on ThunderSmash.

Inky closed her eyes and pushed away from the screen.

No, don't go there. Talk to Clear Smiles about it on Monday.

The front doorbell rang. Inky looked up to see Silver Chain slip in.

She was wearing a long-sleeved woolen shirt. Inky cringed a little, remembering their first night together. While relaxing after all their excitement, she’d mentioned the faint scars on her partner’s forelegs. Silver had ignored the comment, and soon after began wearing long-sleeves everywhere.

“Hey Inky.”

“...Hey Silver. What are you doing here?”

“O-oh, nothing. I just... thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing.”

So you don’t want to meet with your other friends.

As far as Inky knew, Silver’s social-circle consisted mainly of punk and goth fillies. Half of them ran around at night painting graffiti and committing acts of vandalism, while the other half sat in dark bars and moped. Not much of a social life.

At least she had one.

Inky got up. She needed coffee, but also knew Silver would ask for a cup, and that meant it would take her longer to leave. She paused for a moment, considering the choice. Dammit, she thought, as she walked into the kitchen and started pouring water in the pot. Silver came and stood in the doorway.

“Do you want one?” Inky asked.

“Yes please.”

She placed the pot on the machine, flicked the switch and sighed.

“I need to get some t-shirts out of the Plaster.”

“I'll help.”

In silence the two ponies emptied the machines, laying out four stacks of red t-shirts on the boxing table. They went back into the kitchen where Inky poured them each a cup.

“You don't get a lot of customers here.” mused Silver as she leaned back against the counter.

“No, not at night. But my boss keeps this place open 24/7. We get so many orders, that the machines run almost constantly. Just need somepony to monitor things, take care of special orders, and the odd customer.”

Silver nodded and took a sip, looking down her cup.

They stood in silence.

“Inky... is there somepony else?” Her voice sounded choked.

Inky looked up. Silver’s eyes were glazing over. She'd never really seen her display any sort of emotions before. At least not emotions that seemed real.

“W-what do you mean?”

“Oh, you know.” Silver tried to causally dried her eyes with her sleeve. “I know we're not... exclusive or anything, it's just, well...” She cleared her throat and looked up at Inky, “You always seem so far away. Even when we have sex, it’s like you aren’t even in the same room. Is there somepony else you’re seeing?” She swallowed. “I mean, it's cool if you are, I just... wanted to know.”

Inky opened her mouth, closed it again and looked at her cup. What could she say? That she was longing for a pony who wasn't real? She took a sip.

“So there is somepony else?”

“I-it's... complicated. I don't want to talk about it. I’m sorry.”

The clocked ticked off several seconds. Silver exhaled.

“Is it me?”

Inky looked at Silvers face, and wrinkled her brow. She knew that Silver slept with at least 2 other mares. Silver was fickle, having had at least 2 girlfriends and 3 boyfriends in the year since Inky had met her.

“No.”

“And you won't tell me?”

“Sorry.”

Silver put down her cup.

“I... If you want to go exclu-... I mean... if you want me to stop seeing other ponies. I'll do it.”

“Why?” Inky bit her lip. Silver swallowed.

“What?”

“I mean-” Why would you want to be with me? “I didn't mean it like that. I'm just not-” You're talking nonsense, shut up! She clenched her eyes shut and sighed. “I just need some time. Please.”

Silver nodded

“Okay.”

Silver turned her cup in her hooves.

“This... this isn't to push or anything, I mean we're cool, but... Combipony is playing next weekend.” Inky frowned slightly. “We could meet up afterward. They’re playing at The Sewer anyways, you could just come later. It'll be fun.” Silver smiled, but her lips quivered.

“Okay.”

“Great.” Silver got up. “Hey, I need to get going. Text me later.”

“Sure.”

Silver put her cup in the sink and left.