Grossly Incandescent

Rainbow Dash tightened the hood of her flight suit as she carved through the frigid air. The wind whipped past her face, carrying stinging pellets of ice and snow that would have blinded her if not for her goggles. Her wingblades, strapped securely to her sides, caught the dim light as she adjusted her course northward.

The barren landscape stretched beneath her like a white sheet. Hard to believe these frozen wastes were once rolling meadows, filled with wildflowers and the greenest fields of grass in Equestria. Now there was only the howl of wind and the never ending torrential snow.

Her muscles tensed against the cold as she scanned the ground. Even in this darkness, even after three years, she knew exactly what she was looking for. The memories were etched into her mind with the precision of a blade - every rock formation, every frozen tree that marked her path.

Rainbow's wings cut through another gust as she descended. The snow swirled around her in tight spirals as she touched down, her hooves breaking through the crusty surface into deeper powder. She stood still, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. The wind carried the familiar scent of distant pines and frost, exactly as she remembered it.

This was the spot.

Her breath came out in white puffs as she stood in the endless expanse of white. The Crystal Empire lay somewhere beyond the northern horizon, but here, in this wasteland between it and Canterlot, there was nothing but snow and memories she wished she could forget.

Rainbow's eyes fixed on the unmarked expanse of white. Nothing remained to show what had happened here - how could there? The endless snow had long since buried all trace. She pulled a steel implement from her saddlebag, the metal catching what little light filtered through the clouds. With practiced movements, she secured it to her right forehoof.

The rhythmic sound of metal cutting through packed snow filled the air as she dug. Her mind drifted as she worked, muscle memory guiding each strike. She'd replayed this moment in her head countless times over the years, always orienting herself by that single dead tree about a hundred yards away. Its twisted branches reached toward the sky like desperate claws, a sight forever burned into her memory.

The steel bit deeper with each swing. Rainbow's movements became mechanical, almost trance-like. She knew this was the exact spot - she'd never forget it, not if she lived another thousand years. The tree's position, the angle of the slope, the way the wind cut across the plain - it all aligned perfectly.

Her hoof struck something that wasn't snow, the impact jolting her from her thoughts. Rainbow stopped, her breath catching in her throat as she brushed away the remaining powder. There, partially exposed in the hole she'd dug, lay a small bundle of rolled cloth.

Rainbow's hooves trembled as she lifted the folded banner from its snowy grave. The fabric felt brittle, ready to crack at the slightest pressure. She knew what lay within - had known all along. The weight of the cylindrical object within pressed against the cloth, exactly as she'd left it.

Her wings pulled tight against her body as memories flooded back. The smashed bones. The reddened snow, The way the northern wind had howled that day, drowning out everything except-

No. She couldn't think about that now.

Rainbow shoved the wrapped bundle into her saddlebag, her movements sharp and precise. She didn't need to look at it. Didn't want to.

The leather scroll case came out next, its surface worn smooth by the elements and repeated use. Though now, Rainbow couldn't remember the last time she had used it. There was no need to communicate with Princess Luna when nothing had changed.

The worn edges of the scroll case felt familiar against her coat as she extracted the enchanted parchment. The paper crackled as she unrolled it, stiff from the cold.

Her breath formed small clouds in the air as she balanced the small ink pen between her teeth. The metal nib scratched against the parchment's surface as she wrote, each word precise and measured despite the biting wind: "Critical. Need to find Shining Armor. New intel about P. Cadance."

The pen hovered over the scroll. Rainbow's heart pounded against her chest as she forced herself to add the three words that would change everything: "I found her."

The ink sank into the parchment, disappearing like water into sand. Rainbow's wings twitched with anticipation as she waited, the scroll held steady despite the gusts that whipped around her.

New words bled through the scroll's surface, appearing as if written by an invisible hoof. Numbers. Coordinates. Rainbow's pulse quickened as she read them. She knew that location - a remote outpost less than twenty minutes' flight from where she stood.

Shining Armor was closer than she'd imagined.

Rainbow stashed her belongings and took to the air.

Grossly Incandescent

Chapter 12 - A Bad Pony

Rainbow's hooves crunched into the snow as she landed on the outskirts of the settlement. The wind had died down here, blocked by the crumbling remains of what had once been defensive walls.

Five years ago, this place had bustled with activity - hundreds of soldiers manning posts, coordinating attacks, treating wounded. Now the abandoned buildings stood like hollow teeth in a broken jaw, most of their windows dark and empty.

Rainbow's gaze swept over the collection of snow sleds outside the main structure. Mark IV models - military grade, enchanted for speed and stealth. Only unicorns could operate that kind of equipment. The thought made her chest tighten. Shining Armor was here.

A warm glow spilled from the central building's windows, casting yellow squares onto the pristine snow. Rainbow counted three distinct light sources - probably coming from the old war room where they used to plan operations. Her wings twitched at the memory of countless strategy sessions around those tables.

The rest of the outpost lay silent and still. No guards patrolled the perimeter, no smoke rose from any other chimneys. Just as Luna's intelligence had suggested - a skeleton crew, if that. Maybe ten ponies total, assuming they maintained standard rotation.

Rainbow flexed her shoulders, feeling the familiar weight of her wingblades shift against her primaries. The weapons were unnecessary here, she knew, but their presence brought comfort all the same. Old habits died hard.

Rainbow's hooves sank into the deep snow as she forced herself to take the long way around. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight in her saddlebag a constant reminder of her failure. Of her cowardice.

The object pressed against her side like a burning coal. Three years. Three whole years she'd carried this secret, letting Shining search endlessly for answers that now lay nestled between her supplies and field rations.

Her wings twitched with the urge to take flight, to turn back, to do anything but face what waited inside that building. But she kept walking, one hoof after another through the pristine white powder.

"I've checked the northern territories again." Her own words from years ago echoed in her mind, haunting her. "No sign of her, Shining. I'm sorry."

He'd thanked her then, his eyes hollow but grateful. Trusted her completely, never questioning why she'd stopped mentioning those particular search patterns in her reports.

The cold bit at her face, but she welcomed it. Better than the burning shame that threatened to consume her every time she thought about those first few days after she found it out in the snow. How she'd convinced herself that waiting just a little longer was the right thing to do. That he wasn't ready to hear it yet. That she wasn't ready to tell him. Or that it was all her fault.

Days had become weeks. Weeks had stretched into months. And now here she was, three years later, finally forcing herself to do what she should have done immediately. The weight of it crushed her chest, made each breath feel like swallowing glass.

Rainbow paused at the doorway, her ears swiveling forward to catch the low murmur of voices from within. The sound of papers rustling, the soft scrape of metal on metal, the distinctive hum of active magic - all familiar sounds from her years of joint operations with the Royal Guard.

Her hoof pushed the heavy door open. The warmth hit her first, along with the sharp scent of weapon oil and leather polish. Six unicorns occupied the room, their forms casting long shadows in the lamplight. Four clustered around a table laden with documents, while two more worked methodically at the maintenance station in the back.

Rainbow's tactical assessment kicked in automatically. Though they'd shed their formal armor, their bearing gave them away - the precise movements, the controlled economy of motion that marked career soldiers. Royal Guard, without question.

The conversation died as heads turned toward her, their horns glowing as if ready to manifest weapons at a moment's notice. Rainbow squared her shoulders, lifted her chin.

"Rainbow Dash, Captain of the Wonderbolts Aerial Defense Corps." Despite how she felt, she was able to put some authority in her voice. "I'm looking for Commander Shining Armor. I understand that he is here."

The unicorn closest to Rainbow - a gray stallion with a closely-cropped mane - studied her for a long moment before turning his head toward one of the back rooms.

"Commander, there's a pegasus here to see you."

Rainbow's ears pricked forward at the sound of shuffling papers from behind the closed door.

"Who is it?" Shining's voice carried that same exhausted edge she remembered from their last meeting.

"Says her name is Rainbow Dash."

The silence that followed seemed to stretch forever. Rainbow fought the urge to shift her weight, to fidget under the suspicious stares of the unicorns around her. Their horns still glowed faintly, ready to react at the slightest provocation.

"Let her through."

The change in the room was immediate but subtle. The magical glow faded from their horns, though their eyes followed her every movement as she crossed the floor. Their stances remained rigid, professional - but Rainbow caught the slight relaxation in their shoulders, the way their ears shifted from alert to merely attentive.

Her hooves seemed too loud on the wooden floor as she approached the door. The weight in her saddlebag felt heavier with each step, until she thought it might drag her straight through the floorboards.

Rainbow pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Rainbow's breath caught in her throat as she took in the cramped space. Maps covered every inch of wall, their edges curling and yellowed with age. Red lines crisscrossed the territories - search patterns she recognized from years of coordinating with the Guard.

The cot squeaked as Shining shifted his weight, offering that same tired smile she remembered. His coat had lost its luster, and his mane stuck out at odd angles like he'd been running his hooves through it for hours. The stubble along his jaw only emphasized the shadows under his eyes.

"Rainbow Dash." His voice carried warmth despite his haggard appearance. "It's been a while."

Her eyes drifted to his desk, where papers sprawled across the surface in organized chaos. Between tactical reports and supply requisitions, a silver frame caught the lamplight. The photograph showed a younger, happier time - Cadance's wings spread protectively over a beaming Twilight, both of them caught mid-laugh at something beyond the frame.

Rainbow's saddlebag suddenly felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. She forced herself to look away from the photo, but the image of Cadance's smile burned in her mind, making the object pressed against her side feel like ice.

The room itself told a story of obsession. Personal items mingled with military gear - his armor propped in one corner needed cleaning, and scrolls spilled from his saddlebags nearby. Everything spoke of a pony who'd stopped caring about anything beyond his mission.

"Been keeping busy," Shining said, gesturing vaguely at the maps. His horn glowed faintly as he levitated a cup of something that smelled like three-day-old coffee. "But you didn't come all this way for small talk, did you?"

Rainbow shifted her weight, desperate for any topic that would delay the inevitable. "So... you heard about Twilight?"

"Luna sent word." Shining's horn glowed as he pulled a scroll from the mess on his desk. "Hard to believe, isn't it? After all this time..."

"You're not coming back?" The words slipped out before Rainbow could stop them.

Shining's eyes darted to the northern section of his wall map. Red strings connected various points, forming a complex web of information. "Can't. Not now. We've picked up some promising leads in the Crystal Wastes."

He levitated several markers, adjusting their positions. "The last caravan we tracked was heading northeast, following an old trade route. My scouts found residual magic signatures matching Cadance's frequency." His voice caught slightly on her name. "Based on the decay rate, we're looking at activity within the last month."

"The triangulation puts their destination somewhere in this region." His horn traced a circle around a blank section of the map. "We've already identified three potential sites that match the intelligence from our field agents. Just need to-"

Rainbow's chest tightened as she watched him shuffle through more papers, his eyes bright with that familiar desperate hope. The same look he'd worn for three years straight, growing more intense with each passing day.

The weight in her saddlebag seemed to pulse with every word he spoke, every gesture that showed just how close he thought he was to finding answers.

Rainbow's throat constricted as she watched Shining pull out another stack of parchments, his horn's glow casting dancing shadows across the wall.

"Look at these readings." His magic spread the documents across his desk. "The resonance patterns might not be exact matches, but they're closer than anything we've found before."

Rainbow's wings pressed tight against her sides as Shining traced lines between various points on his map, connecting invisible dots that only he could see. His voice carried that edge of manic enthusiasm she'd heard too many times before.

"She's out here, Rainbow. I know it." His hoof jabbed at a particular spot on the map. "These energy signatures - they're deliberate. Like breadcrumbs. She's leaving them for us to find."

The weight in Rainbow's saddlebag seemed to grow heavier with each word. She watched as Shining's eyes lit up, that familiar spark of desperate hope burning brighter than ever.

"She must be in trouble. Maybe captured, or forced to keep moving." He shuffled through more papers, pulling out a weathered field report. "But she's alive. She has to be. And she needs me to find her."

Shining's horn glowed brighter as he levitated more markers onto the map. "We're close now. Closer than I've ever been. These latest readings..." He trailed off, lost in his calculations. "Just a few more weeks. Maybe less. I can feel it."

Rainbow's throat constricted as she lowered herself to the floor, her wings trembling against her sides. The weight of what she was about to do pressed down on her chest like a physical force, threatening to crush her completely.

"Shining." Her voice came out rough. "I need to tell you something."

The tears burned at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back hard. She couldn't break. Not now. Not when she'd carried this burden for so long.

Her hooves moved mechanically as she pulled her saddlebags forward, setting them on the wooden floor between them with a soft thud. The familiar leather felt wrong under her touch, knowing what lay hidden inside.

"Do you remember..." Rainbow swallowed, forcing the words past the lump in her throat. "Do you remember asking the Wonderbolts to help locate that missing relief caravan? Three years ago?"

The change in Shining's expression was subtle but immediate. His ears flicked forward, and that manic enthusiasm drained from his face, replaced by something more guarded. His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her, picking up on her rigid posture, the tension in her wings.

"Yes." The word came out slow, careful. "I remember."

Rainbow's wings twitched as the memories surfaced, each detail sharp and painful despite the years that had passed.

"We had twenty teams searching." Her voice felt distant, mechanical. "Four pegasi per team, rotating shifts to cover maximum ground. But between the griffon raids and the weather..." She shook her head. "Some days we could barely see ten feet in front of us."

The coffee cup clinked as Shining set it down, his eyes fixed on her face. "The report mentioned the challenges. Particularly that string of blizzards that grounded your teams for nearly a week."

Rainbow nodded, her throat tight. "Yeah. And the territory... Luna's mane, it was huge. We had maps, coordinates, but everything looks the same up there. Just endless white." Her wings pressed tighter against her sides. "Even with perfect conditions, I wasn't sure we'd covered everything thoroughly enough."

She watched Shining's horn glow as he pulled a familiar document from his stack - her official report, the edges worn from countless readings.

"You documented all of this." His voice was steady, professional. "Including the recommendation for a second sweep once weather conditions improved."

Rainbow's chest felt like it might cave in. The weight of her saddlebag seemed to pulse against her side, demanding to be acknowledged.

"What I didn't include..." She forced herself to meet his eyes. "On the last day, after I'd dismissed the other teams... I went back out. Alone."

The words hung in the air between them. Rainbow watched as Shining's ears pivoted forward, his posture shifting ever so slightly.

"I found something." The admission felt like glass in her throat. "Something I never put in any report."

Rainbow's wings trembled as the memories surfaced, each detail crystallizing with painful clarity. "I went way outside the search grid that day." Her voice cracked. "Don't know what made me do it. Call it intuition or just a stupid hunch."

The coffee cup clinked against the desk as Shining set it down. His eyes never left her face.

"The snow wasn’t as bad that day." Rainbow's throat tightened. "Made things easier to spot. Found pieces of wood first - splintered, scattered. Someone had taken apart a wagon, probably for firewood."

Her ears pinned back as she continued. "There were bits of cloth too. Shredded. Frozen to the ground in places."

Rainbow forced herself to look at Shining, watching as understanding began to dawn in his eyes. Her stomach churned as she reached the part she'd rehearsed a thousand times, the words she'd never been able to say.

"Then I found the bones." The words felt like acid on her tongue. "They were... smashed. The way griffons always..."

She didn't need to finish. They'd both seen enough griffon attack sites over the years. The savage way they crushed the bones of their victims was a signature. It was a calling card whether they intended it or not it. As with all living things, griffons had to eat as well and they wasted nothing from their kills.

Rainbow's wings twitched as she forced herself to continue. "I wasn't sure what I'd found at first. The site was way outside our established grid - at least twenty miles." She pawed at the floor, her eyes fixed on a point just past Shining's shoulder. "That's nothing for a pegasus at full speed, but for a wagon in those conditions..."

The confusion in that moment came rushing back - the endless white landscape, the scattered debris that didn't match any of their intelligence. It hadn't made sense. The caravan should have been following the marked route, not veering off into untamed wilderness.

"I almost turned back." Her voice cracked. "Was about to head for camp, report what I'd found. But then-"

Rainbow's hooves moved mechanically as she reached into her saddlebag. The fabric felt rough under her touch - a once-proud banner of the Crystal Empire, now reduced to little more than tattered scraps. She'd wrapped it carefully, reverently, around the object that had haunted her for three years.

The bundle made no sound as she placed it on the wooden floor between them. The weight of it seemed to press into the boards, demanding acknowledgment.

"There was something else in the snow." Rainbow's voice came out barely above a whisper. Her hooves shook as she gripped the edge of the fabric. "Something I couldn't...”

She swallowed. “I tried to tell you, Shining. I really did. I’m so sorry.”

Rainbow's heart hammered against her ribs as she watched Shining's eyes lock onto the bundle. His breath caught - a tiny, sharp intake that seemed to echo in the cramped room. The tattered crystal banner lay between them like a wound, its once-proud colors dulled by time and weather.

Shining's horn lit with a faint blue glow. Rainbow's wings pressed tight against her sides as he tugged at the corner of the fabric, his magic trembling slightly. The cloth unfurled with agonizing slowness.

The pink horn rolled free, its spiral catching the lamplight. Rainbow fought the urge to look away as recognition bloomed across Shining's features. Of course he knew that horn - had seen it every morning for years, watched it light up with magic whenever Cadance smiled or laughed.

Now it lay cold and lifeless on his office floor, the last piece of the mare he'd spent three years searching for.

Shining didn't move. His expression remained frozen, unreadable as he stared at the horn. The map markers on his desk continued to glow faintly, their positions marking paths that led nowhere, tracking a ghost that would never return.

Rainbow's muscles tensed as Shining began to pace, his hooves marking an erratic path across the wooden floor. She tracked every movement, noting the way his breathing changed, how his ears twitched with each turn.

His face cycled through emotions faster than she could track - denial, anger, confusion, each expression bleeding into the next. Words tumbled from his mouth in broken fragments, too quiet to make out clearly.

Then came the laugh - a harsh, broken sound that made her feathers bristle. It wasn't the warm chuckle she remembered from better days, or even the stressed laugh she'd heard during war meetings. This was something else entirely, something that made her primary flight feathers ache with the need to flee.

He stopped abruptly, his eyes fixed on the horn. The silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Rainbow's throat worked as she opened her mouth to speak, to offer some kind of explanation or comfort.

The sword cleared its sheath before she could form the words. Blue magic wrapped around the blade as it shot from beneath the bed, whipping through the air, its tip stopping just inches from her throat.

"Get out,” he whispered.

Rainbow met Shining's gaze and froze. His eyes held none of the warmth or brotherhood she'd known for years. Instead, she found something darker - a cold, murderous fury that made her blood run cold. The sword hadn't wavered from her throat, but she knew with absolute certainty that it was just a formality. The real threat lay in those eyes. He could kill her in an instant with just a thought.

Her wings pressed tight against her sides as she backed toward the door, every movement slow and deliberate. One wrong step, one word of protest, and that blade would find its mark. This wasn’t Shining Armor anymore, but a broken soul whose existence had been reduced to nothing because of her lie.

Rainbow's hoof found her saddlebag. As she lifted it, her eyes drifted to the horn still lying exposed on the floor. The sight made her stomach clench. Three years. She'd carried that secret for three years, telling herself she was protecting him, sparing him from the truth. But watching him now, seeing the devastation she'd caused by her own inaction and cowardice, she knew that even with the best of intentions some mistakes can never be fixed.

The door creaked as she pushed it open. The conversations of the unicorns outside stopped as she emerged. She felt their stares but couldn't meet their eyes, couldn't bear to see the questions there. Hot tears blurred her vision as she walked past them and into the cold snow outside.

Rainbow shot into the sky, her wings beating hard against the frozen air. Usually flying cleared her head, let her outrace her problems until they faded like contrails behind her. But not today. Not with this.

Her stomach twisted as another memory surfaced - the clerk standing in her office doorway, petition in hoof. The official seal of the Crystal Empire had gleamed on the parchment. Rainbow had barely glanced up from her desk.

"We're stretched thin as it is," she'd said, shuffling through reports of griffon movements along the northern border. "Can't spare any teams for escort duty right now."

The clerk had shifted nervously. "But ma'am, Princess Cadance specifically requested-"

"Look, we've got real problems to deal with." Rainbow had cut him off with a wave of her hoof. "The princess can handle a simple supply run without the Wonderbolts holding her hoof."

Fresh tears spilled down Rainbow's face as she climbed higher into the cold air. One signature. That's all it would have taken. One simple approval and Cadance would have had a full aerial escort. Instead, Rainbow had dismissed it like just another piece of paperwork.

The wind whipped the tears from her cheeks as she pushed herself faster, trying to outrun the crushing weight of what she'd done. But there was no escaping it. No way to undo that moment of casual arrogance that had cost Princess Cadance her life.

Rainbow didn’t know which lie pained her more - the lie she told Shining Armor all those years ago, or the lie she told herself that there was nothing else she could have done?

The wind stung her eyes, but she welcomed the physical pain. It was easier to focus on than thinking of Shining's face when he'd seen that horn.

The cold air burned in her lungs as she pushed herself harder, trying to outpace the voice in her head that whispered the truth she couldn't escape: Cadance's death was her fault.

She banked south toward Ponyville, her heart as heavy as lead. How could she face any of them knowing what she'd done? Twilight had lost her sister-in-law. The Crystal Empire had lost their princess. And Shining... Shining had lost everything.

The truth about finding Cadance's horn was bad enough. But this? The knowledge that she could have prevented it all with a single stroke of her quill remained with her like a festering wound.

The northern winds howled around her, carrying the weight of her silence like a physical thing. Some burdens, Rainbow realized, were meant to be carried alone.

****

The dirt crunched beneath her hooves as Applejack walked. Five steps, then six, then seven. She'd counted them so many times before. It was easier to focus on numbers than to think about Rainbow sitting at her table again, or Twilight's return stirring up old wounds.

The residual droplets from yesterday's rain had burned off, leaving the grass dry and brittle under the sickly sun. The light felt wrong against her mane, like a stranger's unwanted touch.

A breeze stirred her mane, and she fought the urge to adjust a hat that wasn't there. The sun beat down, weak and wrong, like everything else these days. Her muscles tensed with each step, an old soldier's habit she couldn't shake. Even here, in the relative safety of her own land, surrounded by walls she'd helped raise, she couldn't fully relax.

Applejack had slipped out her bedroom window like a guilty filly, dropping to the ground with practiced silence. It felt foolish, sneaking around her own property, but she couldn't bear to face their questions. Their concern. Their understanding. Better to walk the perimeter alone, letting the familiar rhythm of hooves on dirt drown out the chaos in her head.

Applejack breathed in deep as she continued down the empty path. Everyone else was probably neck-deep in their duties, coaxing life from tired soil with their newfound magic.

A flash of movement caught her eye through the canopy. She stopped, muscles tensing as she tracked a shape cutting through the air above the orchard. The pegasus disappeared behind the leaves before emerging again in slow, practiced glide.

The flash of rainbow mane through the leaves made Applejack's breath catch. Rainbow Dash glided overhead, her movements deliberate and searching. Gone was her usual breakneck speed, replaced by careful sweeps across the orchard.

Applejack's gaze darted to a gnarled apple tree nearby. Its thick branches would provide decent cover, but she pushed the thought away. She wasn't some scared filly hiding from her problems.

Her hooves kept their steady rhythm against the dirt path, though her heart hammered against her ribs. If Rainbow wanted to talk, she'd have to be the one to make the first move. Applejack had said everything she needed to say two years ago.

On Rainbow's next pass, her wings stilled. She hovered, the sun high above obscuring her features in shadow.

Still, Applejack walked on. One hoof in front of the other, like she'd done countless times before. The sound of her steps echoed in her ears.

Applejack watched as Rainbow's wings spread wide, catching the air as she descended. Her old friend landed with practiced grace on the stone wall ahead.

Rainbow's hooves clicked against the stone before she dropped to the dirt path. Clinging to her flight suit and the tips of her wings was snow and frost as if she had just flown in from a place the sun didn't touch.

"Hey." Rainbow's voice cracked on that single word.

"Mornin'." Applejack kept her tone neutral, professional.

But as she drew closer, her practiced detachment faltered. Rainbow's eyes were rimmed with red, the kind that came from crying, not lack of sleep. Her wings drooped slightly, a tell most wouldn't notice. But Applejack knew her friend.

Deep lines creased Rainbow's face, and her usual confident stance was replaced by something heavier. Something broken.

"What happened, Rainbow?" The words came unbidden, soft with concern.

Applejack's chest tightened as Rainbow's shoulders slumped.

"I'm so stupid, AJ. I made such a terrible mistake." Rainbow's voice wavered. "Seeing Twilight again... being here... I had to try and fix things."

Applejack shifted her weight, fighting the urge to step closer. After two years of anger, the familiar concern felt strange, like putting on an old saddle that didn't quite fit anymore. "What happened?"

"I hurt Shining Armor. Bad." Rainbow's wings trembled. "I can never forgive myself for what I did."

The words hung in the morning air between them. Applejack watched as fresh tears rolled down Rainbow's cheeks, catching the weak sunlight. Her old friend had always worn her heart on her wing, but this raw pain was different.

Rainbow swiped at her face with a hoof, her breath hitching. "It happened a few months before our fight. Around the same time that you left the Red Brigade." She drew in a shaky breath. "I blamed myself for this horrible thing, and then... then I blamed you for leaving us alone up there." Her voice cracked. "I rationalized it to myself that if you were still up there with us when it happened, I would have made different choices. But really, I was just... I was looking for someone else to blame but myself."

Applejack studied Rainbow's face, searching for clues in the tight lines around her eyes and the tremble in her wings. Whatever burden she carried, it weighed heavier than their own falling out.

"I reckon I don't rightly know what happened back then, Rainbow." Applejack kept her voice gentle, like calming a spooked horse. "But if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

Rainbow's breath caught, her wings pulling tight against her sides. A ghost of relief crossed her features, as if she'd expected judgment instead of understanding.

"Thanks, AJ." Rainbow wiped her face again, smearing tears across her cheeks. "I just... I fall apart so easily now. Ever since it happened, I can barely hold myself together." Her voice cracked. "I couldn't face any of you because I knew I'd break. Knew I couldn't keep it hidden."

Applejack watched as Rainbow's gaze dropped to the dirt path between them.

"It was easier to throw myself into the corps. To stay away. To focus on training and patrols and anything else that kept me from thinking about what I did." Rainbow's words tumbled out faster now, like a dam breaking. "Being busy meant I didn't have to face it. Didn't have to come to terms with any of it."

Rainbow shifted her weight, wings rustling in the morning air.

"Seeing Twilight again..." Rainbow's voice caught. "It changed everything. Luna's going to ask us soon, about going with Solaire to Lordran."

The words hit Applejack like a physical blow. Of course Luna would ask. The mission had always loomed over them, a shadow they'd all tried to ignore.

"I never changed my mind about going," Rainbow continued, her eyes fixed on some distant point. "But I couldn't leave with all this weighing me down. If we don't come back-"

"Don't."

Rainbow's gaze snapped to her face. "We have to be realistic, AJ. That's why I had to tell Shining the truth. Why I'm here now." Her wings trembled. "I need to make things right with you too."

Applejack's throat felt tight. The anger she'd nursed for two years flickered and dimmed in the face of Rainbow's raw honesty. She recognized the look in her friend's eyes - the same one she'd seen in countless soldiers before a dangerous mission. The need to clear the slate, just in case.

The weak sunlight caught Rainbow's wingblades, still dusted with frost from her northern flight. They'd both changed so much, turned hard and sharp by necessity. But underneath the soldier's stance and battle scars, Applejack could still see traces of her old friend.

"That's why you went to him," Applejack said. "You're clearing your conscience before you go."

Rainbow nodded, her mane falling forward to hide her face.

"I don't know if I should have," she said. "Maybe it would have been better to keep it to myself. Especially after all this time."

Applejack studied Rainbow's face, noting the tremors in her wings, the way her breath hitched. In all their years together - through battles, losses, and victories - she'd never seen Rainbow this broken. Not even when they lost Twilight.

Her anger at their falling out felt small and petty now. Whatever burden Rainbow carried had hollowed her out, left her raw and bleeding.

"What happened, sugarcube?" Applejack kept her voice soft, gentle as a spring breeze. "Tell me."

Rainbow's mouth opened, then closed. Her eyes darted away, then back, conflict etched in every line of her face. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she sank to the ground, her wings drooping in defeat.

"I killed Cadance." The words came out barely above a whisper. Rainbow's shoulders shook. "Not directly, but... my own stupid decision."

Applejack's breath caught. She forced herself to stay still, to let Rainbow speak at her own pace.

"And then-" Rainbow's voice cracked. "When I found evidence of the attack later, I didn't tell Shining Armor. I just... I couldn't."

The weight of those words settled between them like lead. Applejack watched as more tears tracked down Rainbow's face, catching the weak sunlight. They had all followed the situation of Cadance's disappearance closely, but her death had never been confirmed.

Applejack's chest tightened as Rainbow's voice cracked again.

"Then we had that fight." Rainbow's wings pulled tight against her body. "I blamed you for leaving us up there. I blamed myself for being too proud to ask for help. I blamed Twilight for dying and leaving us alone." Her breath hitched. "I even blamed Celestia for putting us in this position in the first place."

Rainbow's gaze dropped to the ground, her shoulders hunching. "Sometimes I blamed Cadance for not coming to me directly. For not demanding a Wonderbolt escort." Her voice grew hollow. "Anything to make the pain make sense."

The change in Rainbow's expression sent a chill down Applejack's spine. The fire in her friend's eyes dimmed, replaced by an emptiness that scared her more than anything.

"I think..." Rainbow's voice came out flat, distant. "I think I'm just a bad pony."

Applejack's heart shattered at those words. Without hesitation, she stepped forward and pulled Rainbow into a tight embrace. Her friend stiffened for a moment before collapsing against her, trembling.

"Come on back to the farmhouse with me." Applejack's voice came out rough with emotion. "I made haycakes this morning."

Rainbow's breath caught, and Applejack remembered those mornings sharing breakfast, Rainbow demolishing plate after plate of her haycakes with that goofy grin on her face. So much had changed. So much time had passed.

Rainbow pulled back, wiping her eyes with a shaky hoof. For a second, Applejack thought she would refuse, but the pegasus stood, her wings rustling as she adjusted them against her sides. Together, they turned toward home.