My Dear Shy

by Keeper-of-Harmony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Sad, Other, Fluttershy
Length: 24763

An isolate-loving man uncovers something that'll change his discourteous life for the better.

"My name is Rick Gärtners, and I write this diary to whomever comes across it. I am a thirty-eight year-old male with no spouse, but that's irrelevant right now. If you do happen to come across this, note for what you're about to read is a record of my life's history; day by day, month by month, and year by year. But never will you expect what's written in this forgotten journal. So sit a while, my readers, as you'll see how being shown to "kindness" can change my malevolent life... forever."

A Fluttershy rendition of 'My Little Dashie' and written out of pure inspiration of becoming a writer.

2020: Story is undergoing revision. When it'll be done is not estimated.

Published 2012-11-07 02:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-30 20:58:16 UTC

My Dear Shy

     The clock's annoying alarm disturbs me from a sound sleep and I brutally smash my fist down onto it repeatedly until the noise quelled.  I slide off my bed, achingly stretching both arms & legs as I stepped on the cloudy-white soft carpet covering every inch of my domain.  I made way towards the mirrored closet meanwhile passing a short white dresser.  After having a self reflective stand-off with my mirrored counterpart, I slide the closet open, peeking inside where I immediately noticed a coal-black suit-jacket and pants hung on a hanger.

     Exiting the bedroom, with jacket and pants in arms, I travel along through the narrowed hallway towards my kitchenette.  Laying the clothes on a kitchen chair, I sought out for the perfect ceramic mug in the cupboard where there's various cups from which to choose; some of red, blue and white, or one's with words "Good Morning" printed aside.  I randomly selected a plain white mug then closed the cabinet.

     While patiently waiting for the brewing coffee, I glanced out the kitchen window admiring the blazing star arising from stunning acres of verdant slopes.  Off to the side there were some plentiful towering maple trees partially blocking the view.

     Once the coffee was done, I poured the rancid liquid into the chosen mug and drank its bitterness.  Without delay, and ready for the day, I hopped into my black BMW, ignited the roaring engine and drove the ten mile commute to work.  The big city, really a metropolis, that I once declared invigorating and prosperous, has lately been feeling like a daily struggle of survival.  Crime is everywhere on a regular basis and escalating.  Many former businesses that used to run our economic culture are in run-down conditions with the streets lined by homeless beggars roaming about with littered cups of deficient change.

     While driving, and zoning in thought, a red light suddenly brought me back to reality.  I quickly stopped.  Then out of nowhere a tarnished man in staggered and putrid rags for clothing was to the left of me, idling there, and for a moment I was confused.  I wasn't sure what I should do, or what he expected me to do.

     He took a couple of steps closer, grunting in a shriveled voice, "Can you spare some change?", he begged.   I obliged by dropping a handful of metal coins into his empty palms and quickly drove off, snickering hysterically knowing that I gave the poor fool outdated arcade tokens.

     Work isn't much different.  Being a journalist meant you write factual events that are printed in the local newspaper.  I, on the other hand, scribble gossip just for the amusement of ruining other people's lives.  Luckily my boss favors me, otherwise I would have been fired years ago.  This was a fantastic life, for me that is.

     I have a made-up career as an author writing countless fictional novels in my home's office.  Novels that'd end up scrapped or shredded, anyway.  My office surroundings are simple at best; a cheap white desk, a banker's lantern, and a laptop specifically used for online billing payments.  I often read my old "gamer's" magazines there too but I abandoned the likes of gaming many years back.  Which explained why I had those tokens (recalling the homeless man earlier from today).  Reading magazines was certainly better than reading the newspapers, to me at least.

     Whenever frustration hit me, so does a writing block.  Causing me to bum on the brown couch in the living room watching cartoon television shows to ease my tension.  I have adored cartoons ever since I was little, and they're a part of my life even now that I'm fully grown.  Their quirky adventures and humorous antics were remedies to those lonely, oppressing years.  Growing older, I realize they are practically another useless habit like my dreams of becoming a writer.  Even so, watching them always make me smile whenever I feel glum or somber.

     The grandfather clock -- given to me by my foster father -- sang its musical chimes at 9:00PM; alarming me that it was time for a nocturnal rest.  Preparing for the nightly ritual I brushed my teeth and slipped on a pair of old-worn flannel pajamas, and I slid under the thick cozy sheets and slumbered the night away afterwards

     Tomorrow's sun ascends from one end of earth's unreachable edge and glares me with its scorching gaze; readying for yet another diurnal course of dull life.  After showering and eating breakfast, I peered out the window seeing inexplicable storm clouds ominously reigning over the wild blue yonder.  Although yesterday the weather channel had foretold this was going to be a clear, sunny day.  I wonder to myself why I even check the weather forecast, they mostly never get it right.  Just one more wrong thing in the day.

     My phone then spontaneously rings.  Answering it I greeted first, "Hello, sir.", knowing that it was my boss.  'Thank God for caller ID' I thought.

     He heeded a warning about the threatening storm and strongly recommended I remain indoors until it subsides.  That being said, I resumed slouching in the living room watching more cartoons.  When my phone rings it's usually a surprise,  because the way how I treat others so poorly I have no friends with which to talk.  There are random times when my mother calls with the typical parental wonderment of how I'm doing.  However I don't find being anti-social problematic, it's the very reason I live miles away from civilization.

     After awhile, I needed something more than Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney (since I've pretty much seen every popular show), so I surfed channel to channel searching for anything of interest.  I stumbled on an unfamiliar network called 'The Hub'.

    Pondering on the selection, I settled in for what this newly found host had to offer.  Time escaped me as I found few of their features entertaining.  Although I have seen better.  Later my stomach protested loudly for food, so I rushed off to the kitchen with developed cravings for a ham sandwich along the journey.  Paying astute attention to assembling the ingredients (much like you would when creating a masterpiece), I barely heard The Hub's annunciation of its premier program from the kitchen, so I hurried completing my edible work of art and returned to the scheduled programming for which I was curious.  The show -- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -- showed up on screen and started playing its harmonious theme.   I immediately cringed from the sight of it, saying to myself, "Yeah, not happening."

     I extend an arm out for the remote control in order to change the channel, but an unknown force refrains me from grabbing it - weighing my body down heavily that I could not budge a single movement.  What twisted paranormal activity succumbs me to this abominable program?  Is it the wondrous melody, the colorful environment?  It was quite a mystery to untangle.

     My attention was mystically caught by a timid pegasus named Fluttershy who appeared on screen.  Her piercing blue eyes, her silk-like pinkish mane, her tender voice, allured me into a trance.  It was like being on a titanic ship cruising over vast, calm waters of an ocean.  Soothing and tranquil.  Until suddenly the booming thunder disrupts my voyage, making it set a collision course into an iceberg, thus snapping me out of hypnosis.  I then swiped the remote and turned off the television as quickly as possible.

     I couldn't perceive that surreal exploit; it had been like my mind was warped to an abyssal pit as my vision blurred. Then I remembered the sandwich creation being prepared just before the show, therefore I made a mental note as a reminder: I ought to be careful how much I use of my "special" secret sauce.  It sufficed as a reasonable explanation of my programming choices.

     Time prolapses and the relentless storm continues its devastating downpour.  Lightning then strikes, and my whole house faints to a total power outage.  With no electricity, or television, I resort to using the wifi-hotspot on my smartphone and battery-charged laptop to sign-in online.

     Browsing the internet on YouTube, I bothered listening to some Dead Island Trailer music with the rain & thunder going on outside.  They complimented each other so perfectly.  But the same can't be said of the comments section.  Turns out that 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' somehow burrows itself being related to this video.  'My Little Dashie'?  'Save Derpy'?  'Brony Community'?.  This absurdity had me chuckling at every bit of it.

     The lightning's flash outside startled me and caused me to jump so abruptly that I almost flung off my swivel chair.  Afterward, the power came back alive as a light bulb above me flickered its way on as the mighty storm & winds lifted instantaneously.  Things just keep getting more interesting by the minute.

     Finally with returned power,  I attended the living room tempting myself on watching more cartoons.  But frankly there came a point when a viable thought occurred 'When was the last time I cleaned the house?'

     Responsibility & laziness initiate a conflict within my brain; fighting as to whether I do chores or do nothing.  Soon the conscious rebellion was resolved by responsibility's triumph.  I note down a small list of chores, having the chore 'clean garage' as my first choice.  In the brightened hallway I halt at the garage door, breathed deeply, twisting it's brass knob clockwise.  Creaking it open I've already been welcomed by a repulsive stench emanating inside, an odor so disgustingly foul that I gagged from barely sniffing it.  To resist breathing the smell I mask my nose with my shirt's collar, and I proceeded inwards.

     The garage's yielding darkness shrouds my field of vision, and I flicked the light switch, but it was burnt out.  It is fortunate that I carry a pocket-sized flashlight to help guide my footsteps.  I crept more than walked as I can partially see, finding myself squinting with pure adrenaline driven to concentration.  Coming upon an object amidst the shadows, I stopped and discovered it to be a table with assorted cardboard boxes laid on top of it.  Looking into them, there were all sorts of miscellaneous items not worthy remembering or attaching a name to.  Exploring through the useless junk I did find an album labelled 'Linkin Park'.  Long ago I loved their reputable rock music, but as years pass you tend to grow out of it, so I threw away the CD and continued scavenging with less vigor.  Having no absolute luck finding anything else I discouragingly sighed "Nothing..."

     Not much else to do, I weakly tap my white adidas to the furniture's leg, but all of a sudden the leg snaps, breaking in two, then all the boxes and table horribly came crashing down creating a huge ruckus.  Afterwards a faint, squeaking noise was heard further back of the garage, making me presume it was mice.  Despite thinking that way, I delve deeper towards it's whereabouts, but getting closer thickens the horrid stench and I could dare say something might have died in here.  Later, coming to an immediate halt, I notice a stray cardboard box impeding my pathway.  Rather peculiar there's a box astray from the others, and I once again hear the squeaking coming directly from within.

     Leaning down and inspecting it, I made obvious statements this is an ordinary box that may contain nests of mice.  However, my curiosity thwarts the theory, making me infinitely assume what else may be inside.  Soon I overhear the grandfather clock's chimes go off from the living room, and because I want to stay on schedule, I stood up shrugging, then walked out leaving the cardboard container unopened.

     Hours later, at midnight precise, I woke up contorting underneath my sheets, yearning for cool refreshments.  So I went into the kitchen and drank an icy-cold glass of water from the faucet, then went straight back to bed to slowly drift away once again.  But before I have fully gone to sleep, that confounded cardboard box reappears inside my mind and no matter how I claimed it's nothing out of the ordinary, my undying curiosity compels me to return.

     After several failed attempts resisting, I got up walking past out of the bedroom and into the garage with a flashlight in hand.  As I entered, tracking back where I previously found it, I remain puzzled why my curiousness has dragged me out here just to see what this box contains.  There could be a variety of things that aren't worth value, or am I wrong?  Regardless, whatever's inside, opening it is the only way I can relieve this unbearable stress I'm enduring; the only way to get closure.

     I bent a knee down as I lowered my head closer while clenching the flashlight between my teeth, opening lid by lid with my free bare hands.  By removing two already can I see something... furry and small, like a puppy almost.  As I remove the third lid that's when my heart began beating eccentrically as I familiarize the banana-colored fur.  I grew hesitant lifting the final lid, but when I did, what I saw cannot possibly be real.  Left frozen in absolute shock, eyes widened, knees shaking, I wanted to believe it was some sort of hallucination just so I know I'm not going crazy.  But then... I heard it's squeaking cough.

     There was no longer denying the inevitable, as what I see before my own eyes is an actual... filly Fluttershy.  This was scientifically impossible!  A fictional cartoon pony, here, resting in a cardboard box inside my garage.  Awestruck by the sight, a question comes to mind, 'Could that storm have anything related to this?' I thought.

     Exposed to the cold atmosphere, Fluttershy had awoken from shivering and perks her head up at me.  For the duration we stare at each other with me glaring down at her as she quietly trembles from my intimidating size.

     Breaking the silence I reluctantly spoke "Uh... hi?"

     She frightfully yelped in response and hid her face to a corner of the box, refusing to make another glance.

     "Well, much as I'd like to stay but uh... I'll be on my merry way."

     I waved my hand, rose up, and walked out leaving the filly all alone and scared.  Before I got to the door, I heard a thud and turned around pointing my flashlight at the box which was tipped over.  The filly that used to be inside couldn't be traced.  Suddenly I felt something grasp on to my leg, hence it was Fluttershy shaking timorously as she didn't want to be left abandoned.

     "A-ha that's cuuute," I spoke sarcastically, "but no, seriously, you can let go now."

     I lightly shook my leg, yet she maintains her firm grip.

     "Okay, I mean it.  You better let go or else." I snarled.

     I was becoming crankier the longer she held on, then I violently shook one last time before she looked up at me.  The minute I stared down into those tearful eyes of hers, my heart exploded like a fused stick of dynamite.

     "Don't you look at me like that..."

     She continues giving me that puppy-dog stare.

    Her adorableness was unbearable resisting, and I exasperatingly sighed giving into it "...Fine, you win."

    Fluttershy's lips greatly tug a bright smile, and she hugs my leg tighter than before.

          I resume walking back in the house with Fluttershy happily attached to my leg and as we entered she'd then let go, but  slamming the garage door shut I could pick up that awful smell, making me hunch it's coming from her coat.  Praying she entirely understands english I settled some ground rules, "Alright, in this building is you are to not touch anything, that includes the television.  You are not allowed in the office whatsoever,".  Before stating the third, my nostrils detect the putrid stench, "And you could really use a bath!"

     I'm not sure if the little thing understood what I just said.  As it occurred to me, she does appear very much younger than her usual self, because from what I know, the mark on her flank is gone.  So I guess she might not be able to talk yet either.

     Taking the smelly pegasus to my bathroom I gently stuck her in the empty bathtub, twisting both levers letting water rapidly gush out.  The sudden bursting water startled Fluttershy so much that she jumps and hooks herself on to my face.

     "Come on, it's just water."

      Up to a certain degree, I turned the faucet off and hoisted the timid filly over the steaming pool.  She cautiously dipped a hoof in and to her discovery, found its warmth pleasant.  She promptly jumped into the water and playfully splashed about.  A good portion of it splashes across my face, but I wasn't mad nor did I frown.  Instead, I politely smirked.  After rinsing, drying, and grooming, I can safely say I no longer smell the repulsive odor from her furry coat.

     Losing track of time, I took a small glance at my digital wrist-watch and saw the time was an hour past midnight.

     "Crap..." I cursed inaudibly, ensuring she couldn't hear my swearing.

     Although I wasn't done with Fluttershy yet.  When her stomach growled I already can guess what she needed next.  I'm not some zoologist or an animal person really, but she seems big enough to have developed some teeth.  Meanwhile, in the kitchen, I rummaged through the refrigerator, finding anything suitable she'll likely eat.

     I dangled out sliced ham to her, "You like?"

     She closes in sniffing it, then returns a disgusted feedback.

     "Oops... I forgot.", I withdrew the ham and showed her a slice of cheese, "How about this then?" I asked.

     She sniffed it, but shook her head this time.

     I thoroughly stroke my bottom chin thinking what she can munch on, then I presented her the only fruit I had: an apple.  The red fruit caught her utmost attention as her eyes gleam, she didn't need to smell knowing what it was.

     "Ahhh, this you like, eh?"

     I set it down in front of her and she begins devouring the apple vigorously until what was left are plain seeds.

     "Quite an appetite you have there."

     Fluttershy graciously smiles while letting out a hearty, satisfying burp.  So with her fur washed and hunger satiated, I believed this was the promising moment where I can finally get some shut eye.

     "Considering I don't have spare blankets, you can sleep on the couch if ya like, or the floor.  Whichever you prefer.  I'll turn up the furnace just so... you know." I yawned.

     Fluttershy's smile stays, and I excessively stretched my arms out yearning for sleep.  I shut off the living room, the kitchen and the hallway lights.  As I prepared for a visit to dreamland in pajamas, Fluttershy goes helping herself to my bed.

     "Ah-ah-ah, no, no.  You sleep on the COUCH, not my bed." I emphasized.

     I lifted and placed her down out of my bedroom and closed the door before she could get back in.  I slide into the sheets and got comfortable afterwards.  What felt like not even five minutes do I hear Fluttershy weakly knocking on my bedroom door.

     'Stay calm.  Eventually she'll stop.'

     Telling myself that, and before I knew, Fluttershy persistently knocks on the door while I ignore her audible cries.  Ten minutes later... knocking.  Thirty minutes later... some more knocking.  It was until then I couldn't take it anymore, so I sorely rose up and allowed Fluttershy to sleep on the comfy bed.  Seeing how she had trouble getting up there I helped her out, yet I noticed she was terrified of something.

     "What now?!" I groaned.

     Fluttershy responds by jerking her face towards my open closet.  My eyes rolled from the foolishness.

     "Really?"

     I slid it shut, and her nervousness fades.

     "There, can I please go to sleep now?"

     Finally catching some several hours of sleep, I wake up feeling Fluttershy's gentle breaths stroking against my face's skin.  Hardly jerking to my left a little, I see her napping with a precious smile as her tail curls around my tingling neck beard.  I refrain the urge itching, but after watching that, I think I just got diabetes.

     The next morning arrives and I lie asleep practically at my bed's edge.  Shifting slightly, I rolled off landing face first down hard onto the floor, roughly waking up rubbing my aching forehead.

     "Damn it!" I grumbled.

     Bitterly rising from the ground and realizing, Fluttershy was no longer on the bed where she slept.  I wandered every part of my house searching, seeing the filly cannot be found.  I desperately sigh in huge relief.

     "Whew... it was just a dream.  For a minute I thought it was all real, boy what a relief!  Well, I better start the day then."

     I proudly walk towards my bathroom, and never was I so glad knowing she was gone.  After a warm, relaxing shower and getting dressed I drive out to my job working until shift's end.  Returning home I hung my coat & hat on the front door's hanger, then as I turned around catering myself to the kitchen... I jump astounded upon discovering Fluttershy sitting there in front of me joyfully wagging her tail.

     "What the-" my jaw drops.  "Alright, get a hold of yourself, you're just being delusional,"  I said agitated.  "By the time I cover and open my eyes she'll disappear."

     I covered both eyes with my hands, then rotated around for good measure.  Afterwards I take my palms away and Fluttershy still sits there having her head tilted.  I frantically slap across my face trying to ensure if it'll do the trick, yet it proved no luck.  I wasn't sure my mind either is playing games or what but I won't allow this illogicality take advantage over me.

     "That does it, I think it's time for you to leave." I angrily stomped.

     I opened the front door where I carried Fluttershy a few feet away from my house.  Mildly freezing outside, due to being fall in October, I shiver as I breathe out hot air.  At a fair distance, I set her down and rushed back into my sanctuary shutting the door behind.

     "Much better..." I brushed my shoulder.

     When I was about to go make something to eat, a weak knock hits my front door beforehand.

     "Huh?!"

     I re-open the door wide and saw poor old Fluttershy rattling like a skeleton from the freezing weather.

     "No!  Go home!  I already let you stayed a night, what more could you possibly want?!"

     She balances on two hind legs then gives me that exact heart-melting pout earlier from last night.

     "Oohhh no, that's not going to work on me this time," I remain standing with arms firmly crossed and stern eyes gazing down at her.  "Go on.  Go back where you belong." I shunned.

     Crucially disheartened, her ears fallen back, the dejected pegasus trots sluggishly away towards the open fields.  Happy as I am she is leaving for good, an unanticipated shot of pain prickles my heart.  I assumed this obscure affliction wasn't natural as it was Fluttershy's sadness affecting me.  Pity fills my mind as it falters me from closing the door, so I straightened and went after her.  In no time I caught up to Fluttershy.

      I attempt speaking properly without acting stubborn between my sentences.

     "Ugh.  Look.  I know I've been pretty harsh lately, but if it really means a lot to you, I guess you can stay here until-"

     I got cut off when the pegasus turned around and lunged herself into my arms, affectionately smothering the side of my face.

     "Alright, alright.  Don't get all lovey dovey on me.  You're lucky that I had a change of heart, is all."

     After proposing shelter, I bring Fluttershy back into my beloved house and throughout the day kept her warm, fed and tenderly cared of.  Makes me feel like I have a pet of my very own, only in this case it's a pony from a cartoon.  Yet I'm morally confused how she has gotten here, I mean, I only watched an episode halfway, so I'm clueless beyond that point.  Well, I can care less what catastrophe has led to this cause because needless to say it's none of my concern.  Although with Fluttershy here as a filly, who probably doesn't know herself even, I'm left nurturing her until the cosmos resolves everything.

     Why couldn't she have landed in a brony's house instead, at least they believe it'd be a dream come true.  I'd call a brony right away if I knew one.  Despite that, her existence makes me wonder if other worlds do exist.  I shrugged neglecting these theories, right now I'm a bit frisky since I hadn't smoked for a while.  Due to some medical conditions I use an electronic, nicotine-free, cigarette than normal cigarettes.  Not the ideal replacement, but the nostalgia of puffing out smoke calms my nerves.

     An exhaustive week has passed and Fluttershy still consists inside my house.  Normally each day during that week I would be welcomed by Fluttershy's delightful smile as I come home from work.  Prior leaving I leave a small glass of milk and an apple out so she wouldn't starve.  Of course when I return home I find a milky mess all over the kitchen floor.  I'm not knowledgeable to this stuff, especially since I forgot she doesn't have hands.  I myself am to blame for being stupid though.

     Because I refuse to watch the show, I sign on my computer seeking infinite wisdom the internet provides.  What luck that they have profound details of her... and some "other" things I will overlook.

     I researched every vital info necessarily needed, comprehending she's an extremely timid pegasus who adoringly cares for animals.  Regardless, it doesn't explain much else except that her kindness knows no boundaries.

     Believe it or not, back when I used to be a kid I was a lot like Fluttershy in personality; sweet, kind, thoughtful.  But my foster father's negative influence changed me to become the man I am today, not that I'm complaining.  Speaking about parents, bluntly saying why I never mention my real parents is that I was abandoned on a doorstep when I was just a baby.  I presumed they gave me up because it may have been money issues or the fact they didn't love me.  It no longer matters now that I'm living a full and average life, and if they're out there somewhere, I hope they rot under a bridge regrettably sulking for what they did.

     Getting off track.  The internet yields no knowledge of Fluttershy's birth-date, so after thinking long and hard I declared her birthday should be October tenth; the day I found her.  How ironic considering it's the date 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' first premiered.  Knowing that, I fearfully speculate on how I sound almost like a part of the brony community.

     Well, November is just a day away and there's no hope when Fluttershy will return to her home world.  I get the disturbed insight that she could be stuck here longer than I imagine.  Actually, retract that previous statement.  What if she's stuck here forever?  This won't bode well for me at all...

     Early morning in the beginning of November I began my usual routine: waking up, showering, eating breakfast, go to work and return home.  Even with Fluttershy around my lifestyle hasn't changed much, although there were days more unique than others, like one day she would mimic what the characters would do on the television screen.  Her representation of how a child would act causes me to tug a smile oftentimes.  I must somewhat admit that I am enjoying spending time with company, even if it's a pony from a fictional show.  In spite of that I'd rather have everything normal again.

     Around those repetitious days I examined Fluttershy's height and weight, rounding her to be an age of three, or four perhaps.  Not sure how long I'm keeping her, but I suppose for the time being I'll help Fluttershy learn how to talk and read.  Luckily I can memorize my lessons from homeschooling, yet do I want to?  My foster mother wasn't dandy comparing to her husband either.  Still, I can at least try teaching Fluttershy how to speak.

     A whole year loops since that eventful night.  Felt as if that year went very slow, and it kills me not knowing when Fluttershy will have to leave.  Whatever her friends are doing on their world better have a reasonable excuse why they're tardy.

     Through those dull months, Fluttershy has been taught well by my teachings, then again I did remember something on the internet about her fast learning abilities, though she hasn't quite perfected the 'r' as how I've had trouble pronouncing when I was her age.  The times she asks for a carrot she would say "cawwot".  Her concern about my health created a discussion that she comprehends why I smoke an electric cigarette.  I admire her worries, yet I'd say it's none of her business.

     Disputing with my other half, my parental ego, I wanted to let the small pegasus frolic through the wondrous, grassy hills expanded far beyond vision.  After all, I can't keep her confined in this house doing nothing but watching television.  Everyone needs a break every now & then.

     As we start heading outside, Fluttershy initially became anxious, but due time she grows accustom to the natural environment.  I walked as she trotted alongside as we moved towards my favorite point of view; a spectacularly large maple tree centered on a rounded slope apart from many others - the only tree closest from the house.  Plus it's bulk branches and leaves act as an umbrella.  You could stand beneath and stay dry.

     Fluttershy gaily skips around the beautiful tree as I lay down cloud gazing.  Meanwhile at it, I infinitely ponder the peculiar night where I lost control of my willpower to the show.  Is it under this hollow soul there is still a flame flickering within?  Can Fluttershy's kindness truly be an answer for this lonely, depressing life?  Nah, I highly doubt it.  I guess it's the tacos I've eaten recently, once again making a mental note: I really NEED to lay off the special sauce.

     Afterwards, the cheerful pegasus joins me as well.  We played a game naming the clouds corresponding to their patterns and shapes while laying next to each other.

     She points a hoof at the flock of geese flying south, "What are those?" Fluttershy wondered.

     "Why, they're geese." I replied.

     "They're pretty..."

     "You could say that," I shrugged blatantly, "but you know what else is pretty?"

     "Hm?" she hummed.

     I quickly grabbed and held her above me, "You!" I softly hollered, nuzzling my nose's tip to hers.  Fluttershy then joyfully giggles returning the affection.  Her child-like laughter sounded so sweet and delicate.

     As we stayed under the tree, obnoxious winds slowly begin to pick up as tiny raindrops pour down from the misty yonder.  Me and Fluttershy scurry back into the house to avoid catching a cold.  Perhaps tomorrow we'll go outside and glance at the clouds again, though this time we'll camp out under the tree.

     Later a storm reigns over the night, and I wore my pajamas readying for a nocturnal rest.  On the brown couch I tucked Fluttershy in with an olive-colored blanket - a neatly soft fabric I found underneath the tumbled junk in the garage.  I did wash it beforehand.  But the roaring thunder outside startles her that she can't fall asleep.

     "Afraid of thunder, huh?"

     "Y-y-yes." she stutters.

     "You don't have to worry.  Thunder only makes sound, and sound can't hurt you," I lightly patted her head, "Well, sleep tight."

     As I rose up, Fluttershy desperately yelps "No!  Don't leave, please!"

     I sat back down next to her, "But Fluttershy we already established this; you're old enough to sleep by yourself."

     "Can you at least stay until I fall asleep...?" she whimpered.

     There was that look again... the same heart-shattering expression she hasn't used for many months.

     "Hmph.  Alright, I'll tell you what, if you help clean around the house each week you can sleep on my bed however you want, you won't have to sleep on this crummy couch anymore."

     "Weally?!  Oh, thank you- thank you- thank you!" said Fluttershy cheerfully.

     With the predicament diverted, I brought Fluttershy into my bedroom where we both lie comfortably under the bed's sheets.  As I slowly drift to slumber, I'd been given a kiss on my face's left cheek.

     Her eyes close as she audibly whispers "Thank you."

     "You're welcome I guess." I murmured.

     "I love you, daddy."

     My eyelids flip open as my whole body froze up.  Is what I heard cannot be mistaken?  Did she actually call me a dad?  Me... a father?  Of all things I've been told by several people: creep, scumbag, jackhole, etc. etc., the last thing I would imagine being called is a dad.  Not only that but those three words -- "I love you" -- rendered me speechless.  My mind repeats those words again, and again, and again, there isn't any other way she said it.  She... actually loves me.  From when I used to believe I was raising a pet is now a whole different meaning.  I have been raising Fluttershy like... a daughter I never had.

     Having to reply was difficult, because this will be a first time words such as these have ever been spoken out of my mouth, "And... I love you too, my dear shy."

     Here comes another year as Fluttershy hits the age of six, at least according to my estimation.  It's unbelievable that after two whole years I'm caring something people would call me crazy over.  An actual Fluttershy is here sleeping on my lap while I sit watching cartoons.  I normally watched cartoons as a meager escape to happiness from the torturous reality I called life, but it was a hopeless struggle.  Another way I expressed happiness was being distasteful towards others.  It worked since then, however that's when I found this little equine, and I honestly wasn't pleased where life would take me there.  But after experiencing what it's like to be loved -- an ancient feeling I thought long forgotten -- I feel her existence here is possibly just more than a coincidence.

     That is until I realized her time here may not last forever...

     I think to myself on endless possibilities: what if when Fluttershy gets too old and a mystical portal of their realm rips open in front of us, and there, her friends are on the other end awaiting her return.  Or what if she isn't real?  I might be petting a overgrown mutant rat for all I know.  Proving she is real I would ask her to do the simplest thing.

     "Fluttershy," I nervously spoke.

    "Yes?" Fluttershy softly replied.

    "Do you think you're able to flutter down there and change the channel using the remote?"

    She obediently nods and hops on down trotting to the remote laying on the coffee table a few feet ahead.  Instead of using her hooves she profoundly punches a button with her nose thus the channel on the television changed.  Observing the entire thing relieves me of my troubled worries.  Then the pegasus jumps back onto my lap preening her feathers.

     "Did I do good?" she asks staring me anticipating my reply.

     I tugged a wide smirk as I thoroughly comb my soft fingertips through the strands of her elegant mane.  Fluttershy greatly returns a smile and rests her head over my forearm.  It's official: she's not an overgrown rat.

     Fluttershy has grown to the age of seven, and keeping her promise, she cleans the house each and every week while I'm absent.  In a funny way she enjoys it as a hobby now.  Compensating for her work I would purchase movies suited to her interest: The Lion King, 101 Dalmations, Aristocats, and such.  I can't tell how many times Fluttershy loves Lion King, it is her all-time favorite movie, but whenever it came to the Mufasa death scene, Fluttershy would cry out a river of tears.

     Caring Fluttershy's needs is not as tough as one might expect.  I mean, she mainly eats fruits and vegetables that are really cheap to spend.  On random occasions do I allow her to have ice cream, though I myself am partially blamed for introducing the icy treat on her third birthday.

     Little what I know about animals, I've taken notice Fluttershy is becoming more fond of them.

     A specific day where I went grocery shopping (due to our supply of apple juice running low), I stumbled on animal crackers thinking 'Animal crackers?  Fluttershy sure would love these'.  Boy was I terribly wrong.  When I showed them to her she scolded me and wouldn't say a single word for the whole day.  I merely assume she'd love animal shaped products.  Then again... eating miniature animals doesn't sound appealing when you put it that way.  She couldn't stay mad at me forever since it wasn't intentional, but on one condition we both agreed upon that we'll never eat gummy bears, animal crackers or any animal-themed snacks ever again.

     Fluttershy has aged a bit, and considering her wings have nicely developed, I think this is the promising day she'll learn how to fly.  Again, because what I not know much about animals, or birds even, I resort to using the internet for studying aerodynamics while writing down notes on a notepad.  Shame I can't draw step by step sketches - normally those are easier to understand.  You know the saying: "A picture can tell a thousand words just by looking at it".  I suppose writing can still suffice.

     It's almost time... and greatly am I excited that now as I gander outside the sky is crystal clear and subtle.  How most fortunate the weather is barren of storm clouds.  This'll be the utmost opportunity we'll ever get.

     The bright star showers it's scorching rays past the office's window down unto my being, but rather than irritation I favorably welcome it's huggable warmth.  This is a first I'm appreciative at the sun.  That doesn't stop there either, evidently Fluttershy's influence encouraged me to be kind toward others; giving the poor and homeless some nickels and dimes they begged for.  Scribbling truth and facts on events that redeem my respect from the other employees down at work.  I believe I'm slowly turning into a better person than I was before, and in a way does it make me feel satisfied.  I even began quitting smoking.

     Spending extra time researching for precocious reasons, I finally finished up and closed the laptop.  As I stood up getting ready for her momentous day, I could hear Fluttershy tossing and turning in my bedroom.  I guess she's having some sort of terrible dream.  I exit the office and quietly approached the blissful pegasus sleeping on my bed.

     I lean down gently shaking Fluttershy from her beauty sleep, greeting her cheerily, "Good morning."

    "Mmmm.  Morning." she stretches her tired limbs while yawning.

    "Be polished, for after breakfast we're doing something special today."

     "Like what?"

     "Because for your birthday today, I'll be teaching you how to fly."

     "Oh..." she reluctantly answered.

     The sheer nervousness I saw through her wasn't what I expected.  Well, now that I recall, I forgot the internet interprets her persona of being a ground-type pegasus than a normal one.  I wouldn't blame her.  I too get panicky from escalating heights.  Whether or not she must learn how to, I mean, what kind of pegasus wouldn't be able to fly?

    Back to tasks at hand, Fluttershy's face composed tenseful anxiety; acting as if she's unwilling to partake this special event.

     I pulled Fluttershy closer and stared deep into her glistening eyes.

     "There's no need to be afraid.  Just remember that I'll be there rooting for you."

     Though nervous, Fluttershy was willing to give it a try.  Finishing breakfast, we mark our path out of the house towards the nearest tilted slant.

     Taking a gander over the broad horizon; the flowery outcropping of waving petunias, the comforting aroma from the sturdy maple trees.  I inhale and exhale a batch of fresh air saying to Fluttershy, "Aren't these hills just glamorous?  It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful life surely can be."

     Fluttershy agreeably nods in gesture.  Based on limited knowledge I instructed the timid pegasus every little warm up to build adrenaline.  At a go her wings began flapping weakly.  Every second of practice they flap faster and faster - to the moment where Fluttershy is hovering a few feet off the ground.

    "Don't look down." I heeded her.

     She of course peeked below and gasped in shock, thus her wings froze in mid-air,  Fluttershy mildly plummets back down onto the ground.  Tending to her aid, I saw the pegasus sulking miserably.  Being thorough, I examine for any injuries or marks.  There, on her left wing, is a small scrape, yet it was nothing serious, however I regret not bringing a first aid kit.  Tears come trickling down across her cheeks with a grimacing expression that sank my heart tremendously, so I lean in to an affectionate hug in order to soften her painful sorrows.

     "Shhh.  It's alright," I whispered, "there's no need to cry.  Not everyone can get it on their first try."

     Fluttershy perks her eyes meeting at mine, listening to my words of sympathy.

     "You know.  Back in the years when I was probably your age, I would attempt at things I never done before.  Now my father wasn't the supportive type, but when he spoke to me he said "As long as you strongly believe in yourself, there is nothing you can't do".  He was right."

     My inspiring words come through as her frown slowly fades.

     "From what I've seen, you have the potential.  You just need to set your fears aside and focus on the main goal.  Don't ever think you're alone, because I will always be there for you, no matter what.  I believe in you, my dear shy."

     My motivational speech has taken effect.  The determination in her zealous eyes.  A strong will made of iron.  She wanted another attempt, and for that I couldn't have been more proud.  Impoverished her first effort was, I could tell the second time shall be the 'moment of truth'.  Standing completely still, Fluttershy congregates enough energy to hover at the same altitude she previously gained before.  Soon she flew higher and higher, at a point where she is gracefully soaring through the sky like an eagle.

    Jumping in sheer joy I cheered loudly, "YOU DID IT!"

     Even with my lack of coaching, Fluttershy has managed to fly without many failed attempts.  This was a true feat to be praised upon; an achievement that should be celebrated.  Though the weather stirs up an upcoming storm as few drops of rain begin dropping down.  I holler at Fluttershy it's time to go, and then she steadily flutters down and follows me home.  To celebrate her success we baked cupcakes which turned out exquisite.  Cupcakes lathered with thick vanilla icing.  Funnily enough, vanilla happens to be her favorite flavor as well.  For the rest of the day we ate the delicious treats while watching television.  Afterwards we went to bed having stomach aches, but today was still an exciting adventure and I hope there'll be a day like that again.

     After several more years later, Fluttershy turns ten years old tomorrow.  Time definitely flies by, it feels like it's only been just yesterday.  I'm particularly aware she's at the size of her ideal self from the show, yet nothing shown they're alike.  Although Fluttershy comes acknowledging the fact that I'm not her real father, but she doesn't care, she loves me with all her heart just how a daughter would.

     Can the same be said for me?  Don't get me wrong, my love for Fluttershy is genuine but..., only will letting her go make it so severely painful that I can't bear living without her.   It's a matter of time when it'll happen, I only wish I knew though.

     Getting off track.  I contemplate on a present to give her for her birthday, then I raised a finger as an idea sprung.  Since Fluttershy has been so helpful around the house I considered she deserves a very, very special gift.  So as the day elapses, while Fluttershy rests, I wrote a sticky note in ink and stuck it on the refrigerator door saying, "Be right back.  Going to the shoe store for a new pair of shoes.  ~Sincerely, your Father."   The "shoe store" was a cover-up to ensure it'd be a surprise.  I drove out to the city's pet store and returned in an hour later.   When I lied saying I was going to the shoe store, it turns out on the way back I bought a new pair of sneakers.

     Returning home, I wore the new sneakers as I hid Fluttershy's gift inside the shoe box to make it more the merrier of a bigger surprise.  As I walked in expecting a warm welcome greeting, it was instead troubled worries.

     "Where did you go?" Fluttershy asked, with a worried sound of voice.

     "Didn't you read the note I left on the fridge?"

     She raises a quzzical brow, "A note?"

     I palmed my forehead with an open hand, then her pointy ears fall back.

     "Oh, did I do something wrong?  Are you mad?  I'm so sorry!" She winces from my gesture.

     "There's no need to be sorry.  Rather, I should be the one who's sorry.  I should have at least spoken to you in person before I left.  Here, let me make it up to you."

     The box behind my back, Fluttershy was pretty eager what I was hiding.  In a second that I present the box to her her curiousness diminishes in utter disappointment.

     "You got me... shoes?"

     I figured Fluttershy would be discouraged, so I placed the box down in front of her.

     "I wouldn't be sure about that." I winked.

     She wondered what it meant, then as I lifted the lid her pupils sparkly widen.

     "A bunny!" she delightfully screamed.

    Inside the box is a lively rabbit with a flourishing, bleachy-white, fur-coat.  White like the snow itself.

     "I heard you wanted a pet of your very own.  Well, here it is.  Happy birthday."

     Fluttershy pounced and locked me into a bone-crushing hug.

     "Thank you so much, Daddy!"

     "You are certainly most welcome.", I place her down onto the ground, "It's a big responsibility, but I'm confident you're more than capable of handling it."

     Fluttershy briefly hugs me once more nodding constantly, then in a sprint she takes her newfound friend into my bedroom to play with.  My room is the only accessible area she's allowed in.  I remain strict about her going into my office, or touching the TV even.  But it's for her and my sake she never uncovers her origin, and the internet for that matter.  There are things I've seen on there I shudder from, and surely it'll mentally scar her forever.  However, there shall come a time when I will have to explain her of her origin - where she came from.  For now though, until she becomes older, I'll focus on what's at hand.

     Hours later, Fluttershy still succumbs herself in my bedroom while I watch TV.  Checking up on her, I creaked the door overhearing the pegasus talking to her new rabbit.

     "You know, I'm not sure where I came from or know who I really am.  But that day dad found me was the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I'll love him no matter what happens." Afterwards, she begins singing a lullaby to the critter, "Hush now quiet now it's time to lay your sleepy head.  Hush now quiet now it's time to go to bed~."

     The moment I personally heard her enchanting lullabies, my heart melted.  Witnessing that miraculous experience touched my soul nobody would've had, and I can also say I have touched hers.  Although I don't recall singing it to her.  She supposedly might have gotten it for just being 'Fluttershy'.  Listen to me, I say this as if she's the one from the show, well, she is but, the only difference is she is my dear shy, and that's something that'll never change.

     Though her soothing voice places a spell on me; my mind sapped and body worn out, I'm practically drifting to sleep.  I go walking towards my living room couch where I collapsed onto, laying down as my head completely shuts down, and later I fall to a peaceful slumber.

     As a year passed, Fluttershy reaches age eleven.  During the first month of this year Fluttershy had obtained her cutie mark -- located on her flank -- and she inquires me of what it meant.  I explained to her the whole purpose she earned it.  She has always wondered how I know these things, and I respond with every answer: "parent's instincts".  Discovering her talent was discovered by tending Angel- she couldn't have been more happier.

     Later upon the same day 'til nightfall, Fluttershy and I were watching television.  Whenever those zoo commercials pop up she would go rambling on and on how we should go there and bring Angel along.

     "Dad, do you think we can go there someday?" Fluttershy tugs my jeans.

     I replied, "I'm sorry, but... we simply can't."

     "But how come?"

     Should I even dare answer?  Would I say that she's a fictional character from a cartoon show?  Even if I did allow her to be trotting around in public, I fear they wouldn't understand.  They would rave crazily and take her away for either experimenting or do terrible "things" which I can't bring myself to imagine.

     "We just can't." I bluntly said.

     It hurts every part of my soul seeing Fluttershy with that depressing look in her eyes, but she wouldn't object nor argue.

     "What is your pet's name, anyway?" I ask changing the subject.

     "Angel.  His name is Angel."

     Getting late, Fluttershy heads off to bed while I stay awake watching nightly programs.  You all are thinking why I'm not readying myself for bed either, well, my boss called earlier today informing all employees to take a day off due to attending a funeral tomorrow.  I sat on the couch eating a granola bar, the name "Angel" still flutters in my mind.  Why does it sound vaguely familiar?

     Then it struck me as I spew chunks of granola over myself, realizing a shocking fact that Fluttershy also owns a rabbit named Angel from the show.  Not that I watch it, I just happen to know from reading the "MLP: FiM Wikipedia".   I'm anxiously wondering if she's slowly converting back into her normal self.  If that happens, will the Fluttershy I love and raised forget everything?  Including me?  No, I mustn't think such tomfoolery.  She even said it herself she'll love me no matter what happens.

     Next year has skipped and Fluttershy turns twelve years old.  Those careful years have been nice and prospering, yet not everything goes out how you hoped.  This is that time when I wish I had a bullet in my head right now.

     It was October the second and I arrived home from work.  After exiting the vehicle I unlocked both the door knob and dead bolt and entered inside normally expecting Fluttershy to greet me, however she wasn't.

     It was queer.  Fluttershy always welcomed me whenever I come home from work.  Then I heard a faint sniffle from the living room, so I rushed over to investigate.  As I did I glanced down at Fluttershy nudging Angel of whom is seemingly sleeping.

     She senses my presence and looked at me slightly sullen,  "He's been like this for hours."

     Something was indeed amiss about this, though I feared what the answer may be.  I ordered Fluttershy to stay put while I took Angel to the vet for a diagnosis.  Swift I went into the car and out towards the city I go.  At the animal hospital, I've sat what felt like hours in those tedious waiting rooms.  Surveying the people with different types of animals, I see a parrot, a cat, a dog, and others sorts.  A female vet walks out and called my name, then I got up following her into the room where they diagnosed Angel.

     In a room I was led in I saw x-ray posters depicting Angel's skeleton planted on a wall.  None of which seem broken.  Alongside are some contraptions.  Their repetitive beeping sound alone makes me want to bash my head against a wall.  There lying across the counter is Angel, with wires from the annoying machines attached to his body.  I'm not knowledgable about hospitals, but that 'flat line' on a display monitor has me praying it's a good thing.

     "The doctor will be right with you." says the nurse leaving the room.

     Minutes after, a bald-headed man comes in deeply staring at his clipboard.

     He speaks an old, british accent, "Ahem, greetings, Mr. Gartners.  We performed various types of operations and I have returned with the concluding results."

     "Just get to the point, old man, is Angel going to be alright?"

     "Well," he examines his clipboard again, "depends your definition of "alright".   You see, your rabbit here carried an uncommon disease known as 'Appendix Cancer'.  I do humbly apologize, but if you brought him here sooner we could've prevented this travesty."

     "P-prevented what... if I may ask?" I nervously said with both palms and forehead sweating.

     The doctor clears his throat apprehensively, "There is no other way to tell you this, but Angel couldn't make it.  I'm terribly sorry."

     My intestines recoil and wrap themselves up to a knot just by hearing that, "How can this possibly happen?!  Angel was under total tender care!" I shook my head.

     "Again, this is an uncommon illness.  Regardless if one's healthy or not, you can still obtain it."

      It might be easy for him saying it straight to my face.  But it's unimaginable how Fluttershy will react, and I'm the one who's gotta break it to her...

     Driving nervously back home with Angel's corpse, thoughts were racing through my mind as I go.  I don't know what to do.  Should I say what they told me?  Or lie for her and my own sake?  No, one way or another she'll figure it out, so I must tell her of this tragedy.  Yet I predict this shall be a terrible affair...

     At home, I remain parked on the driveway with Angel lying across my lap as my tense heart repeatedly hammers my chest.  I gathered what confidence I had and marched into the house while carrying the rabbit in arms.

     Fluttershy has been waiting at the front door, worrying about the poor rabbit's health, "I'm glad you're home!  Please tell me Angel is going to be fine?"

     I couldn't answer right away, neither did I have the courage to, rather I knelt down placing her pet in front of her.  She closely observes him and perks back up at me.

     "He's not breathing..." she said.

     "F-Fluttershy..." I started, "they told me of Angel's illness.  And... well.  You know that one scene on your favorite movie, Lion King, where Mufasa wouldn't wake up?"

     Fluttershy gravely frowned from the question, "You...- what are you saying...?"

     Silence once again pulls me under.  I was afraid, very, very afraid as I embrace a whole world of regret.  But I gut up and upright told her, "I'm saying that Angel could not make it.  I'm regrettably sorry, Fluttershy."

     Heart-broken, Fluttershy's eyes begun to swell and leak a waterfall of mourning tears. Angel was one of her only friends of the outside world; a birthday present she had senti-mental value for- a special present gifted from me, her considered father.  Her sobs and wails were heart-wrenching, and the only thing I could do was embrace her in a tight hug, "Shh-sh, my dear shy, I know how he meant so much to you.  Let it all out until the pain stops."

     As time went on; ten to fifteen minutes after, Fluttershy falls asleep due the exhaustion from crying.  I carried her into my bedroom and tucked her in sheets, and even in sleep she still cries.  It makes me regret for what I've done, but what's done cannot be undone.

     Leaving the bedroom, I began thinking on other serious matters; imagine the inexplicable horror it could have been if she found out her origins before I would tell her.  She would be devastatingly struck and probably hate me forever.

     I took the rabbit's body and brought it outside.  Using the shovel from the garage, I dug a hole out in the backyard whereas Angel's body shall be buried in.  The hole filled back up with dirt, I took a stake, a plank, some nails and a hammer, and created a sign as means of a gravestone.  Only this case it's made of wood.

     In and back out of the house I held a pin and wrote on the plank - "Here lies Angel.  May you watch over us from the heavens above."

     I made my way back inside avoiding catching a cold.  Resided in my bedroom, I tried going to sleep, but the haunting nightmares of Fluttershy leaving me wake me up every now and then.  Wishing it shall never happen, I'm sure enough it will.  Holding Fluttershy dearly, I whisper to her ear, "At least you still have me, my dear shy.  I won't be leaving you anytime soon.  That, I promise."

     A couple of weeks passed and it may be safe to assume Fluttershy had forgotten that dreadful day, though I believe deep within her heart she still mourns for Angel.

      It has been an awfully long while since we've done an activity together.  I can't take her to a zoo, but I decided to tell her about an idea of going out hiking in the woods.  As usual Fluttershy would express uncertainty.  Once I told her there's plenty of interesting critters to find she immediately begs for our departure.

     We packed the car's trunk with food and water and made our way towards the city.  Ensuring Fluttershy has a safe journey without being noticeable I have her covered using my coat as we drive through the metropolis.  As I halted at a red light, I survey my surroundings noticing this city has less beggars than the last time I drove through here.  To my appalling surprise I see that same "homeless man" from many years ago.  His tattered rags are filthier as he has grown a fluffy, yet rugged, beard.  He walks on over towards me on my left, gently knocking on my window, "Can you spare change for this poor soul?" he says dryly.

     Thinking back on my horrendous deed, I figured a five dollar bill should suffice.  I roll down my window handing him the valuable piece of paper, "Here.", then I drive off when the street light turned green.  A small glimpse before I stepped on the pedal, the beggar widely smirked given his appreciation to my generosity.  Earlier when I wasn't happy and bright, I had no remorse for what I've done to him.  But now I'm a changed man, a changed man for the better.

     Thankfully he doesn't remember that day, otherwise things would've gotten messy if he did.  Fluttershy peeks her head out smiling upon my generous act, "That was awfully nice of you." she said.

     I gratefully reply, "All thanks to you, my dear shy."

     As we've passed the outskirts we have taken a thirty-mile excursion towards our mountainous destination.  The meanwhile, Fluttershy was allowed to glance past the car windows, admiring every beautiful scenery she can collect in her mind; farms extent with unfathomable yards of fertilized lands.  Plus there were some large cows mooing and chewing grass as we drove along.  After our long drive, we finally have reached the mountain plains.

     Exiting the vehicle, we traverse and plentifully discover a variety of animals such as deer, squirrels, and different-colored birds chiming their unique, wondrous chirps.

     However during the time I wasn't paying any attention I noticed she headed off all by herself.  My head rushed into a state of panic and I desperately call out her name whilst blindly pacing in several directions.  My ears then caught sound what seems to be singing from a distance.  Obviously stating it had to be Fluttershy, I followed her enchanting voice and came across an open circular land with bulky, moss-infested trees surrounding the environment.  There in front of me was Fluttershy, sitting on a huge stump, lullabying to the animals that inhabit the forest.

     I shout out to her, and the animals frightfully run off as fast as they could upon hearing my voice.  Struck by a breeze of relief I hurried and hugged Fluttershy dearly tight, "You had me worried sick." I said to her.

     After that, me and Fluttershy return home safe and sound.  She enjoyed hiking outdoors and hoped if we're able to do something like that again.  We could, yet I made sure the next time she'll stay by my side.

     Fluttershy is fourteen years old, and no longer does she need my help on many things.  I speculate this should be the time; the time I reveal her of who she really is.  It ails me that its come down to this...

     In the late evening after work, I return home parked on my house's driveway having some concerns clouding my mind.  Will she take it well?  I'm afraid she won't.  Supposedly what if I don't say anything at all?  What with their show's popularity growing, she'll find out eventually.  This secret cannot remain hidden, it's time I step up and tell her the truth.  The affair shall be most unpleasing, however.

     Entering the house, Fluttershy sits there before me as usual, greeting me with a heart-warming smile,  "Welcome home, Father."

     I didn't bother returning her warm welcome for I sought out the plan I had made.

     "Fluttershy..." I spoke a tad anxiously, "there's something I have to tell you.  Meet me at the living room couch."

     Confused yet understanding, Fluttershy trotted towards the couch while I hanged my jacket on the door hanger.  I then joined her in the room where I sat beside feeling agitated.

     "Are you ok, Dad?" Fluttershy concernedly asks.

     I idly glance around the living room, collecting fortitude for the upcoming dilemma, "You see... you-," my heart thumps eccentrically, "Fluttershy, there's a secret I've been keeping from you ever since you were a filly.  Now that you're all grown up, I feel you're ready to take on the truth."

     Fluttershy lightly giggles, "Oh, Dad, I know that you're not my biological father.  But I'll love you like one always." she hugs me affectionately.

     I brought out a smirk for awhile, but it quickly reverts to a deep frown as I remind myself what is intended.

     "That's not what I'm trying to tell you," I shook her off, "The truth is more than you highly expect.  I wish I could straight-away tell you but, I think I can't.  Instead this is why I have to do this..."

     Turning on the television with the remote, I switched to 'The Hub' channel where 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' is currently playing.

     The show caught her immediate attention once she heard her name on the screen.  An episode named 'Dragonshy' could not have been more convenient and inconvenient.  As she watched, I could see the mass confusion within her horrifying expression.  She remained silent throughout the show until it was finished.  When I turned off the television she still retains her confused look; building up questions inside her head, thinking about my whole purpose of doing this.

     "Dad... what's the meaning of this?"

     My heart thumps harder with each beat.  I can't believe I did such a terrible thing, but I did what was necessary.

     "You are Fluttershy; a pegasus from a TV show which teaches the remarkable values of friendship.  I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn't.  I'm sincerely sorry, my dear Shy."

     "So what are you saying?  Am I... not real?" Fluttershy flusters as she began to cry.

     "Of course not!" I angrily objected.

     "Then what?!  Look at the evidence.  I'm just an illusive pony that has no meaning of life!"

     I firmly hugged Fluttershy and claimed, "No! You mustn't say irrational words!  You are real!  Everything you've done here is real, and I for one believe that you are real!"

     Fluttershy pushed me away, she didn't even want to look at me.  She jumps off the couch and hurries into my bedroom and slams it shut.  I could only let her do so while soaking up in tears.  Why must it be so darn painful?  Why couldn't I let it go?  Because... I care about her- it is because I love her that I had to do what seemed right, even if she hates me then.

     About an hour gone by and I could no longer hear Fluttershy's weeping.  I wanted to make sure if she was alright by checking up on her.  Alas I discovered she wasn't on the bed.  I searched every corner, my closet, under my bed, and there is no sign of her whatsoever.

     A strong stroke of wind blows against my skin and I turn towards it's whereabouts fearing the worst.  The window was widely opened, leaving me assuming Fluttershy had ran away.  I don't blame her.  I've been holding this truth since I found her and I would understand her upsetting behavior.

     Although it was irrelevant for me to regret, I'm going to go out searching for her no matter the cost.  I rush out the front door thoroughly looking for Fluttershy; everywhere within a mile radius.  At day's end, I return home with no hope of finding her.  On my bed I cried endlessly until I've completely fallen asleep from exhaustion.

     The next day I went out in search again, except I hadn't called my boss.  But this was more important than anything else I valued.  Being that it's raining outside, I figured the tree we both always sat under is where she would be hiding at.  Afterwards, I come back inside having no absolute luck on my search.

     Tomorrow I tried searching again without eating breakfast, lunch or dinner.  I was exhausted and my legs were aching, but thoughts of Fluttershy kept my spirit lingering, despite my weariness.

     It's been a total of five days and there's still no trace of her.  I've lost the sense and willpower since the fourth day, for without Fluttershy I fear my old habits are slowly returning.  Yet I refuse subjecting to them.  I'd prefer blasting my brains out using my father's revolver rather than revert back to my old self.

     I sat lonely on the living room couch and grieved remorsefully; plummeting down to an abyss of regret as I speak out of my mind of how I desperately feel, "My dear Shy... I'm sorry for what's happened.  I am so sorry for everything.  You may be from a cartoon, but to me you were everything.  To me you were my dear shy.  There was not a single thought crossing my mind that you were unreal.  You're probably, by now, at the point of no return, which I can guess you found your way back home.  Yet I hope deep inside my heart that you'll forever think about me..."

     Then there came a knock on my wooden front door.  Exhilaration ideas spun around as I believed it could have been Fluttershy.  I jump off the couch racing over, opening the door to welcome my beloved daughter, however a moment that I saw who it was my smile disappeared instantly.

     "Oh, greetings Mr. Gartners.  Happy receiving some mail, are we?" asked a cheerful postman.

     I became angry.  More specifically, I was outraged.  I anticipated Fluttershy would be sitting at the other end.  I aggressively slam my door shut then went sitting back down moping.  A minute later, another knock is heard.

     I stood up tremendously frustrated, "For the love of god, just leave me alone!" I shouted.  Thinking the postman hasn't left yet.

     It happened again.  Though it sounded weaker this time.

     I answer the persistent knocker, and who I saw is a doleful pegasus completely drenched both by the rain and tears, sitting before me.

     "F-Fluttershy...?" I inaudibly spoke.

     She silently stood there, with strands of her mane draping down all soaked and ruined and hooves masked in filthy mud.  Fluttershy was an absolute train wreck.  Although I could say the same for me; I haven't ate food or showered for three days straight.

     "I - I'm very sorry running off like that..." she apologetically whimpered.

     I abruptly knelt down hugging her tight while choking in sobs, "You don't have to be sorry!  Ever since you left I had been lost without you.  I was scared I'd lose you forever.  Please don't ever leave me again!" I moaned.

     "B-but that day..."

     "Forget it!  I don't care if you are imaginary.  All that matters is you're back, and a small dispute won't break the bond between us.  You'll forever be my dear Shy, and I love you!" I cried.

     She replied, "I love you too!", while crying uncontrollably.

     We bawled for ten minutes as we exchanged one apology to another.  I carried Fluttershy inside where I've given her a nice, warm bath cleansing the mud from her hooves & fur.  Never do I feel so much better now that the 'weight of guilt' has been lifted off my shoulders.  Although, the thoughts of her leaving still haunt me.  Because I know for certain her friends are probably searching for her.  "When though?" is the only question slinging around my mind.  Thinking about it, I seriously pray that won't happen anytime soon.

     With Fluttershy at seventeen years old, it has been officially counted fourteen years since she was the timid bundle of joy I raised as.  There were numerous times of fun & happiness.  However, there were also those unforgettable times of agony & sadness.  I used to be a heartless creep who enjoyed his past life, but after these precious years with Fluttershy, I can proudly say that she made me become a better man; a man who knows kindness, love, and compassion.

     Though like life - all good things must come to an end.

     Around the afternoon, 3:15PM to be specific, Fluttershy and I reside in the living room putting together some pieces of an elephant puzzle to pass periods of time.  Surprisingly we heard someone knocking on the front door.  Finding it queerly unexpected, I never received any notice of a visit.  I didn't arrange for a congregation either.  Determining it'd may be anyone I may or may not know, I ordered Fluttershy to go into my room until I signified the prompted clearance.  Fluttershy goes past the hallway and into the bedroom as told, then she shuts her door from behind.

     Hearing the door closed shut, I stood up walking away from the sturdy coffee table and proceeded answering the person continually knocking.

     I hollered, "Coming!", while rushing over.

     Cautiously approaching the door I asked aloud of who it was.  Hearing it closely she sounded so majestically wonderful; a female whose voice suchlike speaks alluringly in an ideal manner.

     "May we come in?"

     A split moment to ponder, I swear her voice sounded vaguely familiar to me.  Then again, I could be imagining it.  After all, it's definately been a couple of months since I last spoke to anyone.  Including my foster parents.

     Realizing the door is still shut, I open the wooden gate, to then gape my mouth open massively wide becoming genuinely awestruck.  The anonymous female at the front of my doorstep had hooves instead of feet; a groomed mane graciously flowing without support of wind- standing remotely tall as I am.  Taller if you count her long, divine horn that could pierce the heavens.  It's been so long since I can remember who the characters were from the wikipedia but as memory refreshes I found out this was Princess Celestia - Equestria's benevolent ruler.

     The mare stares at me weirdly, "Excuse me but are we permitted to enter?"

     I immediately snap out of the paralyzing state, "Oh- oh! Of course, please make yourself fit right at home here."  I bowed respectively.

     The celestial mare laid her gentle smile down upon me and trotted in slowly.  During the time she came in I thought to myself 'We?'.

     Indeed she wasn't alone.  Following pursuit was a smaller mare; the Princess' dependant protege, Twilight Sparkle.  I closed the door and stood before the Princess, "I would've expected some resistance from you." Celestia speaks mildly surprised.

     I replied in a gentleman-like attitude, "Why should I when I'm humbly honoured to be in the presence of royalty such as yourself?"

     She once again smiled from my compliment, "My how kind of you.  Allow me to introduce myself.  I'am Princess Celestia, and this here is my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

     The friendly unicorn trots up and happily greets, "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

     "Charmed, but you'll have to pardon my rudeness.  I'd perhaps like to skip the introductory."

     The Princess clears her throat, "Oh, why, of course.  So, if I'm not mistaken, she is here is she not?"

     "She?  ...Ah yes- yes she is.  Though I'd prefer to take this to the living room.  And where are my manners, would you two like some refreshments?" I offered.

     "Actually yes, I'm quite parched." said the student.

     I point my sight towards the Princess, inclining a gesture if she too would like a beverage.  She shook her head but again smiles towards my hospitality anyway.  While they attended themselves sitting on the brown couch of the living room, I headed in the kitchen rummaging the refrigerator in order to whip up a small glass of carrot juice.  We have a large supply of Carrot Juice considering it's Fluttershy's favorite drink.  In no time I took the glass to the living room and a purple glow synced that of Twilight's horn envelopes around the dishware and levitates next to her

     "Thank you." says Twilight gratefully.

     She lightly tips the glass upward, letting the cool, refreshing liquid down her throat as I can hear her small gulps.

     "Any chance I ask where your other friends are?  Surely they must have been worried sick as you would have." I inquired.

     Twilight's eyes widen, then she spontaneously spat a mouthful of carrot juice all over the carpet, staining it orange, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," she greatly apologized.

     I'm not sure why she did that.  Perhaps my question could have been the reason?  Regardless, for right now my concern is what's happening in front of me.

     "I can clean that up for you." Twilight sincerely offers.

     "No worries," I protested, "I'll clean that up later,"

     "So how long has she been here?" Princess Celestia asks knowingly.

    I respond trying to restrain my nerve-wracking anxiety, "About fourteen years."

     The celestial mare hardly reacts surprised from the answer, "In that case, how old was she when you found her?  A filly, I presume?"

     I was shocked hearing her say that, "How on earth could you possibly know anything about it?  But yes, you're right- she used to be a filly."

     "My this is troublesome." Celestia barely frowns.

     "Why do you say that?" I ask curiously worried.

     "Well, you see, we've encountered this kind of predicament before, and I'd hate to go into details about it as I simply imagined this would go all very smoothly, but I'm afraid this'll be quite unappealing."

     They've gone through this before?!  I guess someone else other than me has had this experience before.  I merely believed I was the only one.  Supposedly they must've went through an ordeal locating which universe Fluttershy plunged into.  Although as Princess Celestia quoted on "sparing the details", I'll refrain myself from asking how they found her.

     "I'll assume you're both here for not just a visit then?"

     "You guess correctly, human.  Although your calm behavior somewhat baffles me.  You act as if you were expecting our arrival."

     "True, quaint it is I'm not freaking out because I'm interacting with a couple of cartoon horses." I spoke bitterly in an obnoxious tone.

     The Princess' smile fades from my sudden negative attitude, "Be careful, I'm not particularly in a mood for a dispute." The Princess says with eyes stern-gazing.

     I remain my stature as I continued, "That so?  Considering you both enter my house, refusing to tell me why she was summoned here as a filly, I wouldn't have a right to raise my tone under my own house?  I demand an explanation, otherwise you both can get out."

     I noticed the lavender unicorn sitting beside her benevolent teacher resented my warning. She too didn't fare well with my irrational behavior, "You can't talk to her like that!" Twilight splurred out angrily.

     I knew for certain they were hiding something, however without confirmation about how this situation started I had to act stern and rude to convince them.  The celestial alicorn reverts to her normal state and stares down at the little unicorn.

     "He's right, my pupil," said Celestia calming her student, "Perhaps it is fair that he should know."

     The celestial mare turns her head back at me and begins her story; interpreting what travesty occurred in their homeworld, "You see... there's been strange things happening in our world, and-"

     Celestia then got cut off when Fluttershy suddenly calls out for me from my bedroom, "Dad?  Is everything okay out there?"

     My entire body froze for seconds while Celestia cocked a confusing brow at me.  Twilight also wore an exact look.  The moment Fluttershy had called me 'Dad' created an awkward silence in the household.  Minutes later, I was able to move and tended to the pegasus' call whereas I kindly ask the alicorn and unicorn for their patience.  They nodded, thus I proceeded into my bedroom.

     As I enter the room, Fluttershy flutters off my bed inquiring what is going on.

     "Dad...?  Who's here?" she asked.

     "F-Fluttershy..." my lips quivered, "The visitors who are here, well, you won't believe it but they're Princess Celestia & Twilight Sparkle.  You know, the ones from the show I showed you..."

     Fluttershy would then hysterically giggle taking it as a joke, "Oh, dad.  Surely you're just kidding... right?"

     I stayed silent momentarily.  How I wish it were a joke, oh how I wish it weren't true.  But by golly after Fluttershy had seen the horrific look on my face her expression mirrors mine as well.

     "Dad..." she spoke timorously, "please tell me they're over for just a visit."

     A similar question I wanted to believe that be the case, but I couldn't deny their sole purpose of being here.  The minute I saw them my heart sunk as my mind trembled.  I thought I could help myself slamming the door shut on them, yet I couldn't, things would turn out for the worst if I did.

     Kneeling down to her, I calmly stroke her mane, "Don't worry, Fluttershy.  Leave everything to me."

     Without prolonging the inevitable, Fluttershy and I anxiously headed back out passing through the corridor slowly.  As we entered the living room, Twilight upright cheers to her friend, "Fluttershy!  Thank goodness you're all right!"

     The pegasus quietly cowers behind me in utter shyness.

     "It's okay.  They don't mean any harm." I assured Fluttershy.

     Twilight's heart was gruesomely afflicted seeing that her timid friend shows no remembrance of her.  "Fluttershy..." Twilight inaudibly spoke.

     I needed to verify the entire story between Fluttershy and I; the story of how I found her and raised her throughout the years, and the bizarre storm that might be related.  The Princess understood and nods to every speck of detail.

     As I idly stand around with Fluttershy beside me, I muse a few questions that were clogging my mind.  Questions I dreadfully feared most.

     "I must know one or two things before we move on forward.  What is to become of Fluttershy?"

     Twilight quickly answers, "Once we return to Ponyville, I'll cast a spell that'll replace her reminiscing memories with that of our perilous adventures and bonding friendship.  It's guaranteed to erase every trace of this world."

     "And what are to become of my memories?"

     Twilight firmly bites her bottom lip- answering only with pure silence.

     "I see," I lower my head, "Then would you by chance know a spell that can rewind time?"

     "The Princess does.  But I don't know what good that'll...-" Twilight drops her sentence as she finally grasps on to my intention.

     "Are you sure you want to go through with this?  Once it's been made there is no, in any, possible way to undo it." heeded Celestia.

     "I heard what Twilight said earlier.  I raised Fluttershy under this house for fourteen years;  cleaning her, feeding her, loving her.  All of which I've done until up to this point.  Last thing I want is for her to be happy, and I consider this as the only viable option..."

     Princess Celestia did not fare well with my final decision, but she nonetheless accepted my request.

     Fluttershy butted in exclaiming, "Wait a minute!  Don't I have a say in this?!"

     "I'm sorry, Fluttershy.  For everyone's sake, this has to be done." I said.

     "But- but-, you promised everything would be alright!  You're not going to let me go just like that are you?!"

     Fluttershy contradicts to what I say, even though its hurting Twilight more than me, and I know I can't interfere between their valuable friendship.  I ignore Fluttershy's sorrowful pleas whilst staring down at the hardware floor.  She kept snagging my pants with her mouth as sullen tears endlessly trickle down her cheeks.

     Seeing Fluttershy crying aches Twilight's heart most severely, and when the unicorn was about to move in on the pegasus, Celestia descends a wing and prevented Twilight from approaching further.

     Again the pegasus constantly nags my pants- crying so desperately, "You can't let them take me away!  I want to stay!  Why aren't you answering me?!"

     Such saddening tears pour out from her swollen eyes, and I couldn't bear looking at them.  It ails my soul that I neglect Fluttershy's pitiful cries, but I chose to so the pain would seem less heart-tearing.

     "Please... answer me, Daddy, please!"

     That'd been one or the couple of times she's called me that.  I can still remember that eventful night when she first spoke those words, 'I love you, Daddy'.  Afterwards, my mind mentally projects a cycle of the times we shared; her first bath, her first pet, her first view of the world.  These precious memories... these unforgettable memories that we spent together kept breaking through, no matter how many times I push them back.

     My bottled emotions got up to a point where tears finally broke free as I picked up the sullen pegasus, embracing her in a heartwarming hug.  Never wanting to let go.  She held me very tight as I sway left and right easing her sorrow, "Shhh... please don't cry anymore," I softly whisper in her ear, "I know how awful you must feel.  To me even.  But you must understand that these two are here to bring you back home where you mainly belong.  All this was a mistake to begin with."

     Fluttershy shakes her head, "How can it be a mistake?!  This is my real home!  You took me in and nurtured me!  Please tell me that I don't have to go!" she whimpered.

     I connect my forehead to hers as I hugged her tighter, "My dear Shy... in this world you have standards- boundaries; you are limited here.  Whereas in their world you are free to fly around as you please.  And there are lots of animals more unique than the ones here."

     My eyes began filling up in bigger tears as I continue, "From the moment I found you I knew it had to have been fate.  When nobody, even my parents, have given me love, you- and only you- have given me so much love; love of which I never thought I could receive and return.  Yet, I knew this day would come, and I can't muster the thought of losing you, but you can't live in a world you're not meant for,"

     "C-can you at least come with me...?"

     I figured Fluttershy would ask of that, however I had to shake my head knowing I can't abandon my life here in the real world, "I'm sorry... but remember even when both our minds can be erased, know that our hearts are linked.  Worlds we may be apart, and memories we may forget, but in our hearts, our love can never be broken, and that I will forever cherish.  Remember that I'll always love you, from the bottom of my heart!  Goodbye, my dear Shy."

      Fluttershy nuzzles her nose to mine before I finally let her go, "And I'll always love you too, Daddy.  I'll miss you..."

     I knelt down and released Fluttershy from my grasp, letting her trot next to the sniffling unicorn who's eyes were too in captivating tears.

     "I'm gravely sorry, Fluttershy, I just wish there was another way to resolve this..." Twilight grieved.

     Celestia moves and stood before me as I remain on the floor crying in pity.

     "Kind sir, much as it painfully is that you have to give up someone you love, I'am truly grateful of how much tender care you've given to this pony," Princess Celestia then levitates the tattered diary off the coffee table with her magic; reading my life's history.   "And all these times you spent together- the history you two shared.  This was all out of compassionate love."

     I listen to the mare's sympathizing words.

     "Finding out Fluttershy landed here I feared this depraved world would tarnish her.  But I am most thankful that you, out of all of them, have been chosen to care for one of my little ponies.  I speak for all of us that we owe our most heartfelt thanks for your kindness."

     Princess Celestia, given her gratefulness, joins back between the pegasus & unicorn.  I saw the celestial mare's horn pulsating an orb of light and eventually becomes more brighter by each second.  I glance at Fluttershy's face as this was a one last time I'll see it again.  The pegasus would dry her tears and stare back at me with a heartwarming smile.

     I try hiding my sniffles returning the favor, knowing I've done my job; my job... of being a father.

     And just like that the horn brimmed with magical power and casts a blinding flash which engulfs the entire premises.  As the light vanishes, the three mares where they stood upon are no longer there.  What moment does my mind still hold of the memories, I head into my room as I lie on my bed waiting for the magic to take it's course.

     Shuffling to my left, I see some sort of scrolled-up piece of paper atop of my white drawer.  Has it been there this entire time?  Could it a be farewell note?  Tempting it were, I strain myself from reaching out to it but without knowing what it yields would make me regrettably sorry.  I grab the neatly scrolled paper and thoroughly read:

     Hello, Dad.  I'm writing this letter to you on behalf of the Princess' permission before they take my memories away.  I never have gotten a chance to say thank you on how much you've done for me through all those years.  Watching TV.  Playing together.  Hiking through the woods.  You cared and loved me, and would always be there for me.  No matter what.  But I suppose now this is our last farewell... yet before I go I have to say thank you again for everything.  You'll always be in a special place inside my heart.

     With much love and regards,

     ~Your dear Shy.

     Tears began forming and fall onto the note as I weep.  Fluttershy sent me a letter before she's forgotten me completely.

     I wish I can reconsider, but things must go back where they once was.  I turn over on the bed sulking, then I notice the olive-colored blanket Fluttershy slept with.  Reminding me of her, I snatched and smothered the fabric like as if it were Fluttershy, whispering to myself, "You'll always be in my heart too, my dear Shy."

     Then my body becomes almost light as a feather, and before realizing, I'm gradually turning transparent... until seconds later... my whole being was nearly gone, but prior returning to my boring, everyday life I write one last paragraph at the first page of my diary for all those willing to read:

     "My name is Rick Gärtners, and I write this diary to whomever comes across it. I am a thirty-eight year-old male with no spouse, but that's irrelevant right now. If you do happen to come across this, note for what you're about to read is a record of my life's history; day by day, month by month, and year by year.  But never will you expect what's written in this forgotten journal.  So sit a while, my readers, as you'll see how being shown to "kindness" can change my malevolent life... forever."

The End

Aftermath - Log One

     On a early, sunny morning, I abruptly woke up from my clock's ear-wrenching siren.  I slammed an entire palm onto it until the noise quelled.  I slowly sat up yawning and stretching, rubbing the bags underneath my eyes until I noticed something unfamiliar to my morning ritual; a folded olive-colored blanket lays next to me on my bed.  It was rather peculiar to ponder.  When I used to be ten years old, I had a "protective blankey" phase where I would have a small blanket and use it to protect me from the "monsters" that I pretend that come out at night.

     Snapping back to reality, I shrugged and got up to begin my daily schedule: I took a steaming hot shower, ate Applejacks for breakfast, got dressed in my fine jacket and pants, then drove off to work.  During my ten mile commute, I couldn't shake off the thoughts of that blanket that keeps popping up inside my mind.  It was like something very personal or dear to me, yet it eludes my mind.  Disregarding the subliminal subject, I slowed down to pull out a CD from my glove compartment and inserted it in my car's disc player.

     'Surely some songs will help make me forget about it.' I said in thought.

     There's not many selections on the CD; ten songs it should be about.  Some of them I don't listen to anymore, but there are plenty I still enjoy.  Skipping tracks, I stopped to a track (Denis Leary - I'm An Asshole) and sang along with it.  This was someone I can really relate to because, after all, we're both jerks to an extent.  Such as one time a week ago I was at work and there was a commotion about one of the employees rumored being gay.  Hilarious for not only was there a dispute among the staff but they didn't expect it was I who started the rumor.  Thankfully our boss pardoned my prank, seeing as he knew I caused it all.  Call it fortunate he is a swell guy, even though at times he does get angry at me when I pull those sort of stunts.

     What can I say?  Like father, like son.

     I remain focused on the road while singing the rest of Denis Leary's song.  One day I hope to even God himself that I'll get a chance to meet Denis Leary in person.  But that's a reality that'll unlikely happen.  A simple man can dream, can't he?  Before long I finally arrive at my everyday miserable job.  Not that I picture it as miserable, I like to put it as an...

     Over-the-top-crappyass-job-that-when-I-become-an-author-I'll-quit-this-shithole kind of job.

     I probably shouldn't complain over it that much, since a certain "friend" who works there vouched for me when I was searching for well-paid jobs.  If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have the job as a journalist.  Her name was Tina Staubsauger, and frankly her last name stood to be german like mine is.  However the difference she and I don't share is that I'm not german, but my foster family were and thus that's why my last name is Gärtners.  When I quoted the word "friend", allow me to interpret by saying that "friend" is another word I use to introduce someone.  I don't consider Tina as significant, and a friend for that matter, but I felt that the word friend was the only thing I could make up up at that point.

     I don't know much about her besides the fact she moved here from Germany, although I can describe how she looks.  She's twenty years old and stands tall at about an amazing height of six feet, and has lovely brownie-colored eyes.

     How we met was remarkable; It was supposedly three years ago and I was at a grocery store buying some milk and cereal, and I me and a lot of people were stuck on a long line that hadn't moved what felt like since forever.  It had appeared the one responsible for holding up the line was Tina.  Not really, later I found out it wasn't her but the idiot manning the register.

     The register guy, well, I could care less how or what he looks like, but his utter stupidity of trying to scan her last item was wasting my precious time.  Tina wasn't much help either, yet I guess I wouldn't blame her plausible excuse for being blonde.  Still, waiting in line pestered me thus it compelled me to leave my cart and walk past the crowd up to the register.

     "Sir," the guy standing at the register pointed at me.  "You'll have to move back at the end of the line and-"

     I swiped the item that is a carton of milk and skid it across the scanner once.  The scanner beeped and displayed the item on the monitor.

     "Can we please get a move on now?" I growled at him.

     I heard several people behind me cheer in praise for my action.

     The register guy stood there speechless, his mouth opened like he was about to say something but then immediately closed as he silently gave Tina the receipt.

     Tina looked to me and said.  "Uh... thank you."

     "Whatever." I bitterly replied as I turned around ready to move back to my position in line.

    However Tina decided to pinch my coat and gave it a tug before I even moved.

    She grabbed my attention as I asked.  "What is it?"

     Tina was hesitant, but she gathered the courage and spoke.  "My name is Tina, Tina Staubsauger."

     I wasn't exactly sure why she was reluctant, and moreover why did she address herself to a complete stranger who she doesn't know about?  Regardless, suppose if one has addressed one's name to another it wouldn't be right not to return the gesture.

     "...Rick, Rick Gärtners." I said.

     And that was how I met Tina....

Aftermath - Log Two

10/10/2012

     It was still early in the day, evening it should be, I sat at my office's desk on the fourth floor of Marker Co., and yes my work is evidently named after my boss' last name.  Anyway, I was sitting at my office's desk on the fourth floor, bored as I'll ever be.  Considering whenever I get a story printed in the newspaper, I still had to go through memorizing the entire thing on Marker Co.'s website and some others.

     Let me tell you that that if your work had Twitter, Facebook, and everything related of those sorts, you'll be stuck on a computer going through repetitive phases of categorizing, organizing, updating, commenting, reviewing; repeating over and over and over again every single day.  This was the majority of my time spent here as a journalist and it can be nerve wracking, but there are those particular moments where I go out and scoop up some dirt.  And to be metaphorically literal, whatever I write down is "dirty"; the lies I spread throughout the city earned me a couple of promotions, and once I reach the fifth floor I shall be promoted to co-manager.

     All those wasted years working here will finally pay off when that happens.  But... I still prefer the life of an author, although working here as a journalist is almost compared to one I guess.  But I digress.  I've already had some of my years wasted in this job so I might as well see through it from here 'til end.

     As I sat around on my desk, a few of the employees who also worked for a position on this floor were far behind me nonsensically blabbering about stuff they've seen on the internet, like memes and other garbage.  I turned my head to glance at them and then turned back to my computer.  It seemed they were having fun talking.  What would I care, though?  Those were some of the people I once made fun of, especially that weird one who wears the pair of yellow jacket and pants for his go-to-work clothes.  That was the one I rumored him as being gay.  Even if he realized that I was the one who started it, what would he do?  Beat me up?  Ha!  If there was one thing they should know about me was that I'm not a pushover, or a nice guy for the matter of fact.  If they want a brawl I can most certainly give them one.  However, it is most unlikely that'll happen.  As stated before, my boss could deal with my prank habit and such, but he won't tolerate irrational behavior like brawling.  If my boss had to know who started it, that employee's ass would definitely be fired.

     Back to the matter at hand, as I sat at my office desk on a cheap black swivel chair I heard a vaguely familiar voice behind me; that person would be none other than Tina Staubsauger.

     "Hello there." said Tina who was the first to greet.

     "Hey." I blatantly greeted without giving so much a glance or care even.

     We had been working together for the past several years, but that doesn't mean we're friends.  She's still placed as insignificant, and I will forever keep it that way.  What was it that she saw in me, I'll never know.

     "So what are you going to do when work ends in an hour?" asked Tina leaning against the back of my swivel chair.

     The wheels of the chair rolled forward a little which almost broke my concentration, but I ignored it and continued typing on the keyboard.

     "I'm going to go home and just do nothing, as usual, so why not you go on your merry way so I can finish this here Twitter update."

     If there was another thing I knew about Tina was that she was a persistent type.

     "Come on, Rick." Tina groaned.  "We should do something together; go to a movie, or go to dinner.  There are many things out there we could do."

     I stopped typing and swiveled my chair around until I faced Tina.

     "Look.  I'am a very, very, busy man, and I have many plans to do for today.  But... tomorrow, if there's room in my schedule, I'll think about it.  Today, not right now.  Okay?"

     Tina didn't reply using a word but responded with a grateful smile, and later she headed off to attend some paperwork.

     I faced back to my computer's screen and laid my right elbow on the desk with my right palm planted across my forehead.

     "This is going to be a an awful weekend..." I grumbled.

     Work was almost over.  Only five minutes until the clock hits 3:00PM, and I had everything done since 2:40PM.  My fingers were sore after hours and hours of typing computer keys nonstop, but there's nothing like a warm mug of coffee to give you a jump start on an exhaustive day at work.

     Four minutes left, and I sat just swirling around in my chair completely bored at random; I folded plain paper into paper planes and tossed one or two out of the window nearby, watching them soar, watching the paper modeled airplanes gliding by mother nature's calm breaths with the blazing afternoon sun basking the side of Marker Co.'s building with it's brimming rays.  It was such an amazing view, besides the glaring, of course, but that's what I've always hated about the afternoon hours is the sun.  It is always so glaringly damn bright.

     Strange when I fool around time seems to flow much more slowly; what felt what could have been ten minutes was rather a couple, and I still had two minutes of work time left hanging.  Some of the employees had already gone and left the building, including Tina, and it was so quiet and serene here in the building's office.  Here I am, all alone, nobody of which to talk with or to talk to.  And yet I must say again: why would I care?  These people, all of these people are insignificant to me, just like my parents, but there's something telling me; almost as if some unknown obscurity is trying to make me reconsider my judgments.

     I threw the burden aside and readied myself for heading out.  As usual the winds picked up when I exited the building, making me incline to believe mother nature always had this planned each and every day.  This kind of wind isn't ravaging or cold, however.  This wind... felt warm and caring, like mother nature was deliberately giving me a hug, but I neglected it and hopped into my car and begun driving back to my humbling sanctuary what I call known as home.

     Later at night, I was sitting on my sofa watching television after I got done writing a page of a novel I'm working on: Light & Darkness.  It'll be explaining everything the bad and good times of my past; how I've endured all the happiness and sorrow throughout my years of childhood.

     Anyway, I was watching 'Regular Show', and as irregular as it may be, it is one of my favorites with 'Adventure Time' and 'Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy' as the top three.  I found it a tad shame Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy is no longer continuous as they've pretty much stopped when they made the movie: 'Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy's Big Picture Show', and by far I considered it the best epilogue of the series.  So I guess it'd be best if they stopped there.

     After an hour I got bored and turned the television off, realizing the time was 8:15PM.  I sat for a long while on my sofa, inside my living room, thinking about the blanket which still resides in my bedroom.  I dared not touch it.  For a particular reason?  I don't know.  Something about that blanket throws me off each time I think of it.  I would push the persistent thought aside, wanting to forget everything about it, yet it keeps crawling it's way back into my mind.  Why can't I ignore it?  Why was it even there in the first place?  Why am I conflicting myself because of it?  For the same reason - I don't know.

     I had enough as I rose from the couch and angrily stomped towards my bedroom and as expected the blanket still lied there on my bed.  Taunting me.  I hesitated, but I shook off the unsettle and grabbed it thus nothing happened, which made me incline that earlier in the living room I was just being superstitious.  Regardless, I firmly held on to the fabric while making my way to the garage door, opening it as I threw the cursed blanket as hard as I can until it faded into the abyss of darkness.

     When I threw it, though, I saw something detach itself from the blanket and floated slowly down towards the ground.  I knelt down with one knee to get a closer look, and the object what appeared to be some sort of feather.  And it wasn't just some ordinary feather, it happened to be a... preened, yellow feather....

Aftermath - Log Three

     It was 9:00PM; my whole house stands dead silent under the moon's soft glow whilst the winds gently breeze through the misty yonder against my fortress of solitude that I call home.  I had been sitting on my living room's sofa for forty-five minutes, moping.  It all started not too long ago at 8:15PM today when I just discovered a yellow feather; a yellow feather my heart and mind were too familiar with, even at first I didn't know what it was.  When I picked it up, a pang of shock sparked both my mind and heart simultaneously, that's when I started remembering....

     Celestia, Princess Celestia....  Why didn't the spell take the blanket back, too?  Why did Fluttershy's feather still remained here after the spell took its effect?

     I thought back to that moment when I was sulking on my bed -- before I forgot all the memories I spent raising Fluttershy and loving her -- where I remembered holding the cherished fabric.  So, what does it mean?  Was it that the blanket traveled with me because I held on to it before the spell activated...?

     I was so, so foolish.  I am the main cause why this is happening.  I couldn't just let it all go, could I?

     My dear Shy, my once whole world full of happiness and joy, I remember everything now - I remember the happy moments we both shared, and I must regrettably say that I wish I hadn't.  This feather I hold now -- this feather of what's left of you here -- this was the very first feather you preened back when I asked you to change the channel.  You were so beautiful, now that I think of it, and you listened to me without saying a no nor a complaint because I was....  Because I was... your father.

     Having to say that word was painful, knowing that I WAS her father, but now I'm just Rick Gärtners - a shallow twenty-four year old man living inside an empty house with silence as his only friend.

     I sat on the couch for forty-five minutes, moping, reminiscing everything of Fluttershy.  I held the bottom-end of her feather with a careful thumb and index finger while staring at it.  Every single minute were grimacing; tears hadn't stopped falling from my eyes, and I had an open palm over my mouth masking the broken sobs that often escaped from time to time.

     My dear Shy, I pray you won't have to see me again as I can imagine the unbearable pain you'll go through if you do.  Luckily I won't have to pray for I know you won't.  The only way you'll be able to remember me is if you get a glance of me and my face, and I know that'll unlikely happen for sure.  Unfortunately, many people in my world acknowledge you but only because of a TV show, but I acknowledge you because I already know you and the others exist.  I wish I could talk through the television screen so I could let Princess Celestia take my memories away.  However, as a simple human being, I don't have the magic powers to do that.  All I can do is silently watch you go spring about on your adventures with your friends.  Nothing else.

     So now, having to remember everything that's happened, I will have to live carrying this burden; I will have to experience years of torture of remembering you, my dear Shy.

Aftermath - Log Four

     Under the same night -- 10:30PM it was -- I was lying down on my bed, exhausted from the excessive weeping I had been doing for a long period of time.  I think my fluffed up pillow was completely drenched by my lamenting tears.  I held on to the blanket -- the object which started it all -- as I tried to sleep, but every damn time I do I always woke up after having that recurring dream of her, Fluttershy, sitting underneath the cooling shades of the humongous maple tree, staring up at the clouds while the sun was out.

     She would then see me and say, "Come on, Daddy, let's play 'name the clouds' together!"

     "Hm, hm," I hummed chuckling, waving to her as I climbed over the slope.  "Be right there!" I hollered.

     It all felt so real, so real that I wished it were, and every time I realized it wasn't, the sky would turn black and a storm would suddenly brew with brutal winds strong enough to lift the maple tree off of its roots.  I'd idly stand there traumatized by the nightmarish cause, and Fluttershy would also stand there where the tree used to be, crying.

     "Daddy...?" was what Fluttershy always uttered before she vanished in to the darkness.

     My eyes leaked a waterfall of tears as I so desperately cried out to her, "Nooo!"

     And that's when I woke up, each and every time.

     I would sit up from my beds' sheets and smoke my electronic cigarette each time that happened.  It was so painful to see her cry, it reminded me the time when I had told her of Angel's death.  My god that was horrible.  The sheer pain she felt, the agony she endured, it was too heart-wrenching that not even smoking would make the memories go away.  But that's all I can practically do at this type of point was smoke....  Smoking had been my answer to my stress since then, but lately its not doing much good anymore.

     I found the device meaningless as I ended up throwing it aside out of swift anger mixed with pure misery.  I was breathing eccentrically, so hard my chest was heavily pushing in and out at a rapid rate.  I then used my hands and rubbed against my face with them, trying to ease my lament, anguish, and sorrow.  I took my hands off my face and glanced around the quiet and emptiness of my bedroom before I went and tried falling back asleep.

     Many hours later, I was still sleeping while the sun rose from Earth's unreachable boundary.  I heard birds chirping outside the window, which indicated me it was the time to wake up.  I sat up and threw my silky sheets off my body as my tired eyes winced from the glaring rays of warm sunlight brimming past my window's glass down on to my being.

     I briefly took a gander at my alarm clock and it showed the time was 6:00AM on the dot.  This was a first that I woke up two hours before my alarm setting.  Still, I begun the day with the typical routine of brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and eating cereal for breakfast, although I skipped getting dressed.  There was no point since I wasn't particularly keen on going to work this today.  I guess Tina will just have to deal with it.

     Something did occur to me earlier that night; the night I mentioned about watching Fluttershy going on her adventures with her friends.  I suppose for the first time in my life I'll take a seat and watch the darned show... but I won't be enjoying it in particular to how other people do.  I will watch it because I want to see how my dear Shy is living her life without any remembrance of me.

     I turned the television on, and my hands were slightly shaking from anxiety.  Am I really going to do something I swore I would never do again?  I am, but this is served as a matter of principle - a principle of an ex-father.  I pressed the following numbers on my comcast remote and, as expected, 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' was currently playing on the 'Hub' channel.

     First I was introduced to an opening scene where Fluttershy was standing atop of a bridge with an iron bucket full of what appear to be fish and she had a mouthful of two and hopped off the side of the bridge and went underneath it and gave each a fish to a pair of ferrets.  She then perked up a motherly smile.

     "That's it!" I bursted out shouting as I couldn't take the stress, so I killed the television by the press of a power button on the remote.

     What was I thinking?  All that did was make my heart ache even more, knowing that that episode was the one I showed to my dear Shy....  I can remember that uneventful moment.  She looked confused, bewildered, and above all... hurt.  I could not imagine such torture that may have went through her mind.  I wasn't sure if I had forgiven myself for doing a horrible thing, but I did it because I cared about her, and it could have gone worse if she discovered her origin if I hadn't told her.

     After I had shut off the television, I hung and shook my head in regret with an entire left palm covering my eyes.

     "I'm sorry...." I murmured with a sorrowful tone.

Aftermath - Log Six Part 1

     I was extremely shocked.  When I assumed I was watching a cartoon show -- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -- I never had thought a mare's face would pop out out of nowhere on the center of my television's screen; a mare I've acquainted with - Princess Celestia.  I wasn't sure what was happening or what was going on.  I sat on my couch, dumbfounded, with no idea why Princess Celestia's face was on my screen directly staring at me while I stared back.

     My voice shook when I spoke,"H-hello?"

     And to a wicked surprise she actually responded, "Hello, Rick," she said perking up a gentle smile.  "It's good to see you again."

     I cannot be certain whether it was my special sauce or an hallucination because that alone made my body shiver from the supernatural.

     "You- you actually responded..."

     "Of course," Celestia contently replied, looking at me with yet another smile.  "I have been observing you from my world, Rick, and I sensed that you now remember everything that's happened."

     I tried to respond without sounding nervous, "You've been watching me?  For how long, if I might ask?"

     It wasn't long before she answered, "After the spell occurred, I've been looking over you since then.  When you began acting strange as of late, I realized you had remembered."

     I took a brief silence and rose up from the couch; walking back and forth while rubbing both my temples, contemplating as to what Celestia stated.

     "Let me get this straight," I started.  "You've been watching me for a whole week and you were aware of all of this?  Why couldn't you have contacted me sooner?"

     "I would have, but our universe and yours are widely spread apart." Celestia said bluntly.

     "What do you mean by that?" I questioned with a raised, confusing brow.

     "I'll try my best to carefully explain what I meant," Celestia obliged.  "You see, there is a large universal gap between our world and yours.  Because of this, it exhausts a great amount of my magic power doing something similar to what I'm doing now.  Before me and Twilight came to your world, I had my student study a spell that could teleport us to different universes, and it took merely two weeks for her to perfect it."

     "I can understand that," I partially lied; I had no clue to what she was saying. "But if it took her two weeks to perfect it, then why did it took all of you fourteen years to get here?"

     "I'm getting to that." said Celestia.  "Please, allow me to finish."

     "Very well," I nodded as I sat back down onto the couch.  I motioned my hand as a 'proceed' sort of gesture, "Go ahead." I said.

     Celestia then continued her plausible interpretation.

     "When Twilight had located your world and teleported us to it, it took a vast number of her power that she wasn't able to perform any other magic for a little while.  It was why I came along to ensure we can come back home safe and sound.  And this is where your question comes in.  Our universes have different timelines that are either divided or multiplied through light years by the gap; determined by how far a parallel universe is between each one."

     I placed some of the thoughts together and asked out of curiosity, "Are you saying a week here is like a day in your world?"

     Celestia looked at me a bit uneasily.

     "Not necessarily," she shook her head.  "It's more likely a year...."

     I blinked, and then I scrubbed one of my ears with a small finger and leaned closer so I could hear her more clearly in case if I misunderstood.

     "Come again?" my voice cracked.

     "You didn't misheard it." Celestia re-assured with a small frown.  "I'm afraid that was the reason why you raised Fluttershy for fourteen years."

     If you all thought I was bewildered from Celestia's face on my television screen, think what my reaction was when I heard what she said.  I was utterly dumbfounded.  I just can't believe it.  A year.  A WHOLE year on Earth is like a day in their world!  That really explained everything about why they took a long time getting here in the first place.

     I leaned back against my couch, baffled beyond recognition, as I buried my whole face into both my palms, murmuring to myself.

     "I-... I can't believe this." I painfully said with my voice muffled.  Pulling my hands away, my eyes were swelled as a tear formed only on my right eye, trickling its way down to the bottom of my chin.  Then my mouth anchored to a deep, depressing frown.

     "I'm sorry," Celestia apologized sympathetically, looking at me with a concerning expression.  "Will you be okay?"

     I held a finger out in a way to tell her to hold on, and a cough came out before I could open my mouth.

     "It's fine..." I grunted between my coughing.  "This is all a bit too shockingly sudden.  However, now that it occurred to me, and you couldn't have been here in the most convenient time, I must ask something about the spell."

     Celestia cocked a brow, "What is it that you want to know?" she asked.

     Before asking I breathed heavily in and out, building confidential bravery.  My forehead and palms were sweating, my arms and knees anxiously shaking, I felt I was about to become limp.

     I finally built up what courage I had and gave Celestia a stern gaze as I pulled a preened feather from my left pocket.

     "You see this here," I raised presenting the feather for Celestia to see.  "I found this in Fluttershy's blanket."

     There was a momentary silence between Celestia and me.  Her pupils shrunk while her eyes were examining the feather with a somewhat bewildering expression.  It was hard to notice, but I saw that she was quite surprised seeing Fluttershy's feather.

     "How and where did you get that?" Celestia asked.

     Even she didn't know?

     "I was about to ask the same thing; why didn't the blanket go with the rest of everything?" I asked.

     Again the both of us went silent for a minute.  Celestia hanged her head, as if she was contemplating; deeply thinking on the possible solution she can muster.  After a couple minutes of thinking, Celestia perked her eyes up to meet mine, which inclined me to believe she could have figured it out.

     Her brows narrowed slightly, "I might need to ask you to retrieve this "blanket" so I can examine it." Celestia politely demanded.

     I jumped from the couch and springed into the garage and grabbed the blanket and returned to the living room.

     "Here it is." I said holding the untainted fabric in front of her.

     Celestia huffed out a large, meditating hum, and she soon came to an unsettling conclusion.

     "That blanket..." said Celestia, her pupils slightly recoiling from the sight.

     Her saying that had made my stomach loudly protest; my intestines felt like they wrapped themselves in to a big knot, and my legs were wobbling and my hands were shaking due from the intense anxiety building within me.

     "What about it?" I nervously asked.

     Celestia stared at me with a slight, petrified frown.

     "You see, Rick, before I executed the spell, I wanted to leave you a gift; a precious memoir that should've been oblivious to you."

     Is she going to say what I think she is going to say?

     "However, I never thought that feather still remained in your world."

     "W-what are you trying to say...?" I choked.

     Celestia huffed out a sigh and answered, "I," she then briefly paused.  "I bounded the blanket to you, ensuring it'd travel with you.  Now I realize it was a big mistake."

     What Celestia had said had left me paralyzed out of pure shock.

     Deadpanned, I inaudibly whispered, "No... this cannot be happening...."

To be continued... on 'Part Two'

Aftermath - Log Six Part 2

     "You must be lying." I croaked through sobbing.

     I wanted that to be true; I wanted to believe I was asleep and this was all a nightmare I'm inadvertently dreaming.  No matter how much I denied it, it was very real.  Everything was happening here before my own swollen, bluish eyes with tears of mourning pain falling from my face down on the rug beneath me.  In my heart I was hurt; hurt like how Kano on a Mortal Kombat arcade stand would always finish me by puncturing his hand into my character's chest and pulling his heart out.  That's how I am feeling right now.  However, rage slowly enveloped every corner of my mind; like a serious flu that'd hit you when you least expect it.

     My face brightly flushed in rage as I angrily point at Celestia repeatedly in spite of her revelation.

     "You have to be lying.  You're saying that only to cover my mistake!" I snarled through clenching teeth.

     "Rick, understand that what I'm telling you is the exact truth.  But in all that is honest I never knew that feather was in there." said Celestia in her best attempts of reasoning.

     I repeatedly pointed at the celestial mare, "Cut the bull crap!" I stomped.  You intentionally did this so I wouldn't forget.  Do you take the joy of torturing me like this?!"

     "Of course not!" Celestia answered loudly, shaking her head once.  "But please calm down.  I can tell you are very upset, but nothing good comes out by accusing one of slander.  I'm sure we can resolve this in a civilized manner."

     Some of her words were blurred by my rising anger.  There was nothing Celestia could do to change my mind at this point.  Through my burning rage I saw that the royal mare maintained her poker face.  I'll admit, she had quite the control of keeping her emotions in place, even at the most critical conditions.

     Still, not even the goddess herself will tame this beast that I've unleashed.

     My eyes darkened, and I sternly leered at Celestia as my face's cheeks were stained by lamenting tears that hadn't stopped flowing since the revelation.

     I bellowed, "Don't play that game with me, Princess!  All my life I was rejected, unloved, unwanted.  My foster parents kicked me out the moment they had a chance to, and I had to live off what money I had from savings.  When nobody, literally nobody, had given me love, Fluttershy was the only soul who gave me such love," I then choked out a coughing sob.  "Then you and her showed up," I was referring Twilight as the 'her'.  "And it was both of you that took her away from me!"

     Celestia frowned upon those words as she resentfully glared back.

     "You act like I had a choice.  Rick, everything happens for a reason, whether they are good or bad.  I bestowed you with my gratefulness, and you stand here accusing me of feeling no emotion for what I've done."

     "You've already done enough; what with the blanket and such," I said wailing.  "What other purpose do you now have being here?  Was it that you want to see me wallowing in agony?"

     "No." said Celestia.  "My purpose of my presence here is that I have come here with a very important proposal."

     A proposal?  What could Celestia offer something to make up for what I'd endured?

     "I kind of foretold something like this might happen, but never I expected it to occur so early.  So I propose a sympathetic offer to help quell your anguish and misery; I have come here to offer a portal to Equestria, where your beloved daughter lives and resides."

     I froze and blinked several times.  This time I heard her loud and clear without mistaking it.

     "You're... offering me a portal to your world?" I said in a low, calm voice.

     "Correct," Celestia replied, giving me a relieving smile.  "Rick, as a princess it is my sworn duty to right what I have wronged.  I couldn't think about sending Fluttershy back to your world, but I resolved by using this method.  I would never consider letting a soul who took care of one of my little ponies end up suffering from my cause."

     My bitter anger was simmering down, I attentively listened to Celestia, realizing she was serious.

     "And so, Rick," she continued.  "Today I am here to offer you sanctuary, where you can be reunited with your beloved daughter you've grown to adore and love.  It is you to decide what you want best."

     I knew there was nothing the celestial mare couldn't do.  She lives in a world where magic existed, where anything was possible with a simple flash.  I stood before the princess, knowing this was reality before me.  And so I am left with two difficult choices.  Either I stay here, where I can live the rest of my loveless life inside my empty home, or go with Celestia and be with Fluttershy once again.

     What should I choose...?

Aftermath - Log Seven - Epilogue

     I hung my head down and thoroughly gazed at the tender bare skin of my palms and fingertips, fighting the conflict that this had to be a dream.  I pinched myself as hard as I possibly could on my neck, and for a second my brain responded to actual pain.  I blinked several times as another attempt to prove I wasn't delusional.  Each time I did the images before me remained the same; I was idly standing in my living room with a celestial mare -- whose multicolored mane somehow flowing without any support of wind -- staring at me from my television's monitor.  My anger quickly vanished as the corners of my mouth struggled perking up a smile.

     There was no more denying the inevitability, and soon I begun sobbing a handful of tears of absolute joy.  My vision coated by a wall of tears, I rubbed the sappiness away with an entire right forearm.  I wished to release the river of tears from the dam of my eyes, but I ironed my gut and swallowed the pressure.  It ached me a little, but I disregarded the internal pain as I was extremely happy.

     I locked my hands together, kneeling down to Celestia and praised, "You..." I sniffed, holding the urge from wailing again.  "You have no idea how happy I feel right now." I moaned.

     Celestia lent me an heavenly smile, "So you've made your choice then?" she asked.

     There was a time I wanted to yell to express my sheer gratitude.  However, I answered calmly, "Yes.  But if it is allowed, I must do something before we continue."

     "Of course," Celestia nodded.  "Take your spare time to gather whatever it is you need." she said, as if she read my mind.

     I can't say I hadn't enjoyed my years here on Earth, yet I can say it was also a living hell.  At first I thought my whole world was turning out for the worst when I remembered Fluttershy.  But I had been given a second chance.  Now I'll be able to fulfill my promise to her - to love her, and always be there for her.  I still couldn't believe this was truly happening.

     I darted from the living room into my bedroom like a kid going to a candy store and started packing up anything necessary that could fit in a large suitcase.  Such as my clothes and my diary.  I briefly stopped and took a gander around my bedroom. The years I lived here; everything I earned, bought and worked for.  All of it no longer mattered to me, not anymore.

     There was something on my mind concerning of Tina.  If it weren't for her I wouldn't have had a job as a journalist, and if it weren't for that job I wouldn't have had this house.  Having this thought, I made a call to her after I finished packing.

     Sitting down on my bed, I waited while the phone was ringing.

     In a matter of minutes Tina decided to pick up as she answered, "Rick?" she yawned, as if she had just woken up.

     "Tina," I started.  "Do you think you could tell the boss that I'm quitting."

     Immediately Tina replied, yelling in shock, "What?!  What for?!"

     I held my breath for a moment.  Much as she was a friend, my only friend, I couldn't be straight with her.  If I really told her the reason I'm leaving, I think there would be no further discussion.  She'd probably hang up the phone in a heartbeat.

     "Let's just say that I'm going away, is all." I said to her bluntly.

     "Going away?  Like, moving?"

     "You could say that." I closed my eyes, nodding.

     "Where to?" Tina asked.

     I separated the black smartphone from my ear, pondering on how I should answer her question.

     Hugging the phone back to my ear I replied, "I think it's best if you didn't know.  Today before I leave-"

     "Wait, you're leaving today?!" Tina interrupted.

     "Yes, and I will say I won't be coming back.  But before I leave, I want to say... I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I've kind of been a jerk most of the time, and I truly want to thank you on how much you did for me."

     "Rick..." Tina depressingly uttered.

     She sounded hurt, like she was crying.

     "Tina, are you... crying?" I questioned

     There was no doubt about it.  Tina was in fact sobbing, loud enough even I heard it through the smartphone's speaker.  I can't imagine why she was sullen.

      "Yes," she admitted.  "I'm just sad to hear that you have to leave.  But may I ask why you're leaving?"

     "I..."

     I paused there for a while.  Was Tina crying because she cared about me; as if she was affectionately in love... with me?  Why else would she go out of her way by giving me her phone number, vouch for me at Marker Co., asking me out for dinner?  I was so thick I hadn't realized it until now.  It made absolute sense.

     "Tina," I murmured staring down at the white rug beneath my black Nike's.  "I'm sorry how badly hurt you must feel," I said in a sympathetic tone.  "Things like this just happen for a reason.  But," I continued.  "I want to let you know that you've been such a great friend."

     I probably shouldn't had said something like that, it only seemed to hurt Tina even worse.

     "So that's how you view me as?  A friend?" Tina remarked.

     I irritably sighed, "Look.  I really can't take the time to discuss about us," I pointed myself.  "However, I'll let you know that whatever you've done for me was kind and thoughtful.  If you hadn't helped me get a job, I wouldn't be where I am today.  For that, I will always remember you as a friend."

     Tina was silent for several seconds, until she spoke.

     "W-w-will I..." Tina stuttered a little.  "Will I still be able to talk to you?" she asked.

     There was no guarantee I'll be able to talk to her again, not where I'm going.  I'm pretty sure signals from cellphones can't be reached when you're in a different universe.

     With my final words I replied, "I'm afraid not....  Goodbye, Tina."

     Just like that, I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the red button ending the call.  I slightly frowned, and the core of my heart felt cold and shallow.  Guilt invaded my conscience, convincing me going to Equestria was the wrong thing to do.  Regardless, I already made my decision.  I want nothing more than to be with my dear Shy.

     I threw the smartphone onto my bed and headed out to the living room where the celestial mare on my television screen was waiting in.

     Once I approached Celestia she asked, "Are you ready now, Rick?"

     Raising an index finger I motioned the mare to hold on for another minute.  Celestia nodded.  I looked over past my shoulder, surveying my belongings around the house one last time.  The television, oh how it provided me some joyful entertainment throughout many of my oppressive years.  I always fancied myself living in a cartoon world and frankly that dream was becoming a reality, although I hadn't known it would be this out of them all.  There was the antique grandfather clock next to the hallway.  How I'll miss the darned thing.  It always served a great purpose singing its chimes to indicate me what time it was.  And there was Fluttershy's olive-colored blanket, laying across the brown couch.  I had to thank myself that I stopped to look around, otherwise I would have forgotten to bring it with me.  I snatched the cherished fabric and hung it on the left of my shoulder and without delay glanced back at Celestia.

     Inhaling an excessive amount of air and exhaling it, I muttered, "Okay, I'm ready this time...."

     Suddenly, the black background behind Celestia was slowly turning white and kept turning brighter and brighter up to a point where it was blinding.  I closed my eyes to avoid getting blinded.  My body then was tingling with an unusual sensation I found hard to describe.  If I had to, I would say it was nothing alike the spell that sent me back in time.  It was farfetched.  My mind filled with serene as a sudden wave of warmth coursed through my muscles and veins.  Such a warming embrace, like sitting inside a cozy cabin in front of a fireplace.  When the warmth faded I finally opened my eyes, and I noticed I was no longer standing in the midst of my humble living room or my house even

     I stood in an enormous room with numerous stain glass windows depicting ponies across the grey, concrete walls. A couple of them had Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and lastly... Fluttershy.  One window had each of them wearing trinkets and they were zapping a strange, slender-like creature possessing varieties of animal parts, a creature that I'm not intrigued to know or remember.  The sun, though, was profoundly angled as its rays brim past the window, casting a plethora of colorful beams onto the ground below it.

     Afterwards, I turned and observed a rather comfy-looking throne fitted for a king or queen far ahead of me.  It was skillfully sculpted out of solid gold, with a plushy red square pillow as its seat comforter.  I wondered how it would feel sitting in one of those.  It must be quite comfortable.  Once I caught a good glimpse of the environment around me I turned to face the celestial mare who stood beside me.

     "Here we are.  My throne room," said Celestia.

     Itching the bottom of my chin, I envied in thought, 'The throne room, huh? I must say this beats my house, that's for sure.'

      However, it came to my shocking surprise when a female voice other than Celestia's chimed, "Hello there."

      I recognized that voice from anywhere.  Turning and tilting my head down I saw a lavender unicorn perking up at me with a friendly smile.

     "Hmph, fancy meeting you here," I said with a snarky grin, seeing it was Twilight Sparkle.

     "It's great to see you too," Twilight giggled.

     Gazing every inch of my surroundings, I highly expected I'd see Fluttershy here.  Yet she wasn't anywhere in plain view.

     "So," I said, cocking a confused brow.  "Where is she?"

     Twilight was the first to answer, "She's plucking flowers for her basket.  I'd say this is the perfect time." she advised.

     Celestia trotted beside her student, locking my eyes with hers.

     "Are you up to it?" Celestia asked.

     I lowered my head and narrowed my brows entering a deep trance of pondering.  The question the celestial mare asked; the feeling to see my dear Shy made the butterflies in my stomach flutter about.  But that wasn't really the case why I was feeling this way.  I had fearful thoughts of what Twilight explained long ago before I got sent back in time.

"I must know one or two things before we move on forward.  What is to become of Fluttershy?"

     "Once we return to Ponyville I'll cast a spell that'll replace her memories here with our adventures and bonding friendship.  It's guaranteed to erase every trace of this world."

     Recalling that, I feared to consider the possibility that if Fluttershy even saw me she might not remember me.  Yet, I knew for certain that'll unlikely happen.  Because if I was able to remember her by a simple feather, surely she'll remember me too, so I don't know why I was worrying why she wouldn't.

     I firmly bit my bottom lip, and tightened my grip on the leathery handle of my suitcase while I peered down at the floor for some time.   Honestly, I was afraid, but I didn't let nervousness or the question alone be the reason I shouldn't go through with it.  Shifting my eyes back to meet Celestia's, I spoke with a puffed out chest,  "I can't back out now, not while I made it this far.  I'll see this until the very end."

     "Very well," Celestia replied, giving me a confident smile.  She  looked down and bobbled a single nod to her honorable student.

     Twilight nodded back as her horn glowed with a purplish aura which brimmed brighter and stronger in each second.  She then conjured a large, transparent sphere which enveloped us.  Once more my whole vision was re-introduced to nothing but momentary blindness.

     The imagery of white blinding me partially faded away, and I had a hard time seeing where I was standing in now.  However, my ears picked up the sounds of birds elegantly chirping, the bare skin of both my arms and face felt the soothing waves of cool winds stroking them, and the aroma of flowers was appealing to my nostrils.

     After a while, the whiteness blocking my vision fully dissipated, and I found myself clear out in an open and endless field of waving, white petaled daisies.  Well, to me they looked like daisies, and it explained the sweet aroma.  I held a hand over my eyes to shade myself from the blazing sun as I gazed up at the cloudless sky above me.  Never had I seen a sky so very clear, especially by Earth's standards.  The sight of it awed me immensely.

     However, I noticed the princess and her student were nowhere to be seen, which made me believe they sent me out here alone.  I wouldn't say I was completely alone, though.  I still had my hand shading over my eyes as I kept a lookout for anybody.  I managed to spot a familiar... someone, several yards ahead of me.  Squinting, I pointed out that it was definitely my dear Shy, sitting around gathering flowers and putting them in a basket.  Just as how Twilight had said.

     I  mildly jogged, then walked, then crept as I got closer and closer until I was ten feet away from her.  She still hadn't sensed my presence as she had her back turned against me.  I felt the oil oozing from my sideburns, something made far worse by the sun's rays bathing me above.  My stomach growled with anticipation as I took one quiet step at a time - foot by foot.

     I glanced at the butter-colored pegasus picking flower by flower with her mouth as she dropped each one into a hay-woven basket next to her.

     At six feet away I stopped, and stood silent and still like a british guard guarding his queen's castle.  I took a nervous deep breath and whispered loudly, "F-Fluttershy?" I stuttered.

     Her head lifted as her soft, pointy ears pricked up.  Bouncing in several directions.

     "Fluttershy...?" I muttered.

     Her ears moved toward me, and she rotated her whole body around facing me.

     How I dreamt the day I'd see that gorgeous face of her.  Not by television but in total person.  Her long, pinkish mane drooping almost near to the ground, her glistening blue eyes reflecting from the sunlight.  She was exactly like the last time I remembered her, and for that my own eyes were beginning to water.  The moment Fluttershy saw me, however, she slightly frowned, and curtained her face with her mane.

     "H-hello?  D-do I k-know you?" Fluttershy inquired shyly, her tail curling between her hind legs.

      I stared at her, hurt and confused, "Fluttershy..." I said.  "Don't you recognize me?"

     Fluttershy took a step backward, shaking her head, "I-I-I'm afraid I don't know who you are," she replied.  "Or whatever it is you are..."

     "Surely," my lips quivered.  "Surely you haven't forgotten me completely, have you?" I asked in a sullen tone.

     I watched as the timid pegasus quietly stood there without uttering another word.  There was no mistaking it, she had no idea who I was.  Not even my appearance triggered anything inside her mind.  No.  No, this wasn't what I imagined.  I thought when Fluttershy saw me I'd hoped she would become the adoring daughter I came to know and love.  But, that was only a mere thought.  A silly fantasy....

     My pupils recoiled, and the affliction inside my broken heart cringed me.  "Have I..." I whispered through gritted teeth while a tear from my right eye slowly trickled its way down to the bottom of my chin.  "Have I really lost her," and from that point I was reluctant finishing what I feared to be true.  "...forever?"

     I wasn't going to give up so I dropped the blanket and suitcase and knelt down to one knee, wailing, "Please, Fluttershy," I pleaded sorrowfully.  "Remember!"

     It was meaningless getting her to remember.  She would let out a whimper and kept herself at a fair distance.  Seeing her acting that way only brought more pain to my already shattered soul.

     I brushed my runny nose with a clean sleeve, "So that's it," I rose to my feet, sniffling.  "There's no way for me to change you back..."

     Depressed, I turned and slowly dragged myself away from her leaving both the olive-colored blanket and silver suitcase lying on the ground without a care.  Looking back, I was creating a pathway of ruined daisies as I walked.  Some tears fell along the way and stained the fabric of my red t-shirt, they'd then shrivel instantly by the sun's scorching heat.  I stopped, since I had no clue where I'm supposed to go now.  I wondered if it wasn't too late for Celestia to take me back home.  But then again, I already had told Tina I wasn't coming back, and I had her tell my boss that I was quitting.

     I closed my eyelids deeply shut and re-opened them.  "Still not a dream..." I depressingly sighed.

     Then, a muffled voice behind me rung my ears.

     I rotated around and saw Fluttershy holding a corner of the olive-colored blanket with her mouth.  She had her eyes fixed to mine, staring like she was contemplating or in a long process of thinking.  I wasn't sure what was happening but one thing was certain that something sparked within those sparkling orbs of hers.  Her pupils dilated, and the fabric took a fall and flattened softly onto the ground when she lowered her jaw.  She stretched her neck an inch out with a hint of disbelief crossed on her expression.  Almost as if she had seen a ghost... or, maybe she....

     "D-... Daddy?" she uttered, taking one step closer.

     That word.  Could it be?

     "...Fluttershy?" I muttered with eyes slightly widened.

     "Daddy!" she cried.

     Everything inside my mind went blank.  Everything except Fluttershy, because all I saw was her and only her.  It was this moment, this exact moment I realized this was... my dear Shy, my one and only true daughter I loved and raised.

     She began galloping towards me.  Her swollen eyes, glossed with substances of longing, left a sparkling trail of tears behind her as she galloped in haste.  I spread my arms far and wide and readied myself for a reuniting celebration.  She leaped and wrapped her hooves around me, clutching herself to my body so tightly she'd never want to let go.  She buried her sobs into my left shoulder in the meanwhile soaking it.

     How I had longed for this moment; how I longed wanting to see, to hear, to feel her.  I brushed my face against her silk-like mane, swaying left and right as I fought the urge to cry uncontrollably.  But I failed.  The dam was filled to the brim, and I had no other choice but to let the waters overflow from the corners of my eyes.

     "I thought," Fluttershy muffled out a wailing moan as she continued nuzzling my shoulder with her perky nose.  "I thought I'd never see you again!"

     I slithered my hand to the back of her head, gently caressing it, "Sshhh.  It's okay," I whispered in her ear.  "I'm here now, and I won't be going anywhere this time.  I promise."

     We pushed ourselves away for a breathing second but came back hugging each other as we connected our foreheads together.

     Fluttershy managed to tuck away her sobbing, while nuzzling her nose to mine affectionately, "I love you, Daddy." she said to me with a brightened smile.

     I had been waiting to hear those cherishing words.  Words that'd send my heart aflutter.  This was the everlasting happiness I gave up everything for, and I couldn't had been any happier making that decision.

     "And," I smiled back.  "I love you too, my dear Shy."

The End

Bonus: Christmas Log

Link to Sequel

Much like many authors who post a chapter of a link to their sequels, I too will do just that.  Here it is, fellas!

My Dear Shy - Life in Equestria

Bonus: Scrapped Log

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Aftermath - Log Five

     It had been a week since that day I remembered Fluttershy.  Those days of that week had been excruciating.

     The first day when I tried to watch the show I just couldn't handle the thought of watching her, and after I had turned the television off I sat on the couch murmuring to myself about how foolish I was.  First I was sad, but anger then infused within me so abruptly that I threw the remote with intense might and it caused a dent on one of my walls.  I don't know why I did it, but in a way it sort of helped calm me down.

     The second day I didn't go to work again, although I had my boss know why I was absent; I told him I was sick, plain and simple.  Of course I didn't tell him the main reason, because if you told someone that a fictional cartoon pony was your daughter, they'd call you a lunatic, senile, crazy and so forth.  I wouldn't have cared anyway, I'm basically at my mind's end.

     The third day I had finally went to work.  But I was busy isolating myself from everyone that I was a mute throughout that entire day.  My boss was worried about my health, and Tina too, yet I neglected their concerns because I dared not to have them get involved with my dilemma.

     The fourth to the sixth day weren't any different, so I will omit them to spare a page of my diary.

     However, the seventh day of the week had to be my re-attempt at watching the show.  Before I had gone to bed for the seventh day I had my alarm set for 5:30AM -- thirty minutes prior to the show's schedule -- so that it'd be my new day-by-day schedule.

     At 5:55AM I had my shower and clothes on and waited for 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' to be aired after 'Littlest Pet Shop'.  Barely do I understand about the pet shop gimmick being a cartoon show, I mean, if you look further into it there's really nothing too identical between the toys and the show.  But I digress.

     Soon 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' begun with its harmonious theme and I sat through the intro until it actually started.  When the show started however, all I saw was nothing but pure blackness on the big screen.  And suddenly a face appeared - a face I never would have expected....

     Princess Celestia's face.