The Third Ruler

by TheWhiteWolf125

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3046

Celestia and Luna have to put up living with Discord as the third co-ruler of Equestria.

The reign of both princesses was never meant to last. Celestia and Luna have to put up with Discord as the third co-ruler of Equestria for the good of all ponies. Living under the same roof as the king of trolls proves to be a royal pain.

Published 2012-11-03 11:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-03 11:10:01 UTC

Chapter_01

Chapter_01

Several shady figures approached an abandoned, run-down building in a remote part of Ponyville hidden by the shadows of the night. For many years it had been used to store old furniture, but the constant rain had taken its toll and the roof had collapsed, making a hole in the already crumbling floor. Nopony ever approached it as it was dangerous to go near the construction, which could sink to the ground at any given moment. The owner of the formerly two-story house had not been identified so there were still issues with doing the paperwork for its demolition.

The door was closed shut. The leader of the group glanced backwards to make sure that they weren't being followed and then knocked three times.

"The password," an emotionless voice could be heard from behind the soaked wood.

"Dungeons of the old hide the darkest truths."

The door opened slightly, revealing a tunnel, going under the ground. The figure in question slipped in.

"I will be waiting on the other side, my ponies."

"Next!" a much smaller mare was invited to step closer, as the opening closed with a loud creak.

"....ummm...." she started, "Somepony loves the cute bunny rabbit. "

"Come in," the process was repeated.

"Next!"

"That is a very large and long book you have been reading."

"Welcome," now a pegasai approached the entrance.

''Hold on a sec......hmmmm.....g........right?"

No answer.

"Gymnasts love the apple-bucking season."

"Next!"

The following "customer" preferred bouncing to trotting.

"Never bring cake to a muffin fight!"

"All right."

''Ahem, " another came closer.

"The cider is poison-free."

"Huh?....Okay....next please!"

"Even this cape is soooo ugly! How do you expect me to wear these simplistic rags? Oh, this is just absolutely wrong. I can't even take my hat!"

"Come in.....NOW!"

The door was closed shut.

Seven ponies were sitting at a round table in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. The room was dim, it was filled with baking supplies in large, robust crates. Shadows were everywhere as a small fireplace was the sole source of light. A small spider had settled down near a barrel, rubbing his two hairy legs, planning something.

Princess Celestia started the meeting, "We have come here today for a matter of great importance. As you all know the tranquility of our land is in grave danger," several shifted in their seats, "the evidence is there for everyone to see. Never has Equestria faced such difficulty, yet fear not, my ponies, for it has come to my attention that a solution has presented itself. But before we begin, do any of you wish to speak?"

"I do!" Pinkie jumped up with such energy that she ended up standing on her chair.

"Go on."

"Oki doki loki," she said in a serious tone, lowering her eyelids, " a little someone has told me that one of us....." the mare paused, "is a spy!"

Celestia scanned the room - only she, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy were gathered in the basement.

"Is it you?" Pinkie was already on the table, drawing their attention at Rainbow Dash.

The cyan mare said nothing.

"Or maybe....." Pinkie gasped ".....Impossible!.....Applejack?"

"I didn't do anythin'."

"Of course......How about......" she trotted to the other side of the table, "......Rarity?"

"Pinkie, I believe everypony has gotten your point now, please return to the seat," Celestia cleared up the disturbance.

"It never hurts to check!" the pink mare said with a big smile as she landed on the ground.

"Now, anypony got something to add?" the princess continued, "No?....Then without further ado - there is something you must all witness with your own two eyes," she said as she put a black bag on the table.

Celestia turned it upside down, seven six-sided dice fell out, none of them bounced off the oak surface. However, all showed only one number.

Three.

"This is what I have feared a long time, but never thought that it could happen, " Celestia picked up one of the dice, "please go ahead, it's yet another proof that chaos has gone away from our world.......completely."

"Princess, if I may?" Twilight spoke up.

"Of course, child."

"As always the start of the month is reordering day in the library, when I put all the books in the right places and sections, according to the alphabet......yet....." she sighed, "I must tell you the truth....there have been no imperfections in their order for weeks......and it's not my doing......"

"Big deal, " Rainbow Dash intervened, " all the Wonderbolt shows are exactly the same, every sport has never been so predictable as it is now."

"It's literally impossible to create something new," Rarity continued, "all my inspiration has gone. The once fabulous world of art has turned from diamond to dust. "

"I hate to admit it, but.....Discord has to be brought back, we can't go on like this, " Celestia summed up all the ideas.

"I agree!" six voices said unanimously.

"Just one last try, " the princess rolled her dice, the others followed.

They all looked at the table.

Only the number three was visible.

"Look!...." everypony was speechless.

One of the dice.

Showed number one.

"I must know," Celestia spoke quietly, "have any of you been able to sleep at your own will?" now all the ponies in Equestria always shut their eyes at 08.00 PM and woke up at 05.00 AM. No one could resist this order.

Nopony answered the question.

Seven ponies were joined by Luna near the statue of the draconequus named Discord, who after their last encounter had an expression of horror.

Luna's wet mane was blowing in the wind as she had just finished her morning routine. Accustomed to working at night, the princess was satisfied as any other day.

"Are you sure about this, sis?"

"I know, we won't be able to undo this, but it's for the good of all Equestria."

"I had one of the most perfect showers today, the water was just right," Luna smiled, remembering her fulfilling time in the bathroom.

"We have already decided to proceed with the plan," Celestia had had better days.

"But what if the elements of harmony can't defeat him this time? Have you forgotten the time long ago, when he ruled in Equestria?"

"We have defeated him twice already and will do so again if needed. Is everypony ready?"

"Ready!" the voices echoed.

Celestia and Luna both concentrated their magic on the statue. Bright light filled their eyes, a sudden flash and the frozen lord of chaos was gone.

Laughter surrounded them all.

"It's been so long, my dears! Miss me?" A cloud came closer, revealing Discord in a pink hawaiian t-shirt and sunglasses, lazing under a beach parasol.

"What have you done?" Celestia demanded.

"Me? Let's see," he gave it some thought, " nothing much. The sun, the beach and the waves, they all have been great company," Discord grinned.

"Stop playing games, we all know you are behind this madness!" she pressed on.

"Games? Really? Oh, I am done with games this time."

"Spill it! You can't escape from us," Rainbow added.

He looked around, being cornered by eight mares was not an everyday situation, even for him.

Discord sighed "This again? Haven't done anything. You see, my conscience is clear as the sunny skies of Ponyville. "

"What do you mean by this?"

"Aaaah.....as there can be no light without shadows, there can be no order without good ol' chaos."

"So?"

"Go ahead. What are you waiting for? Defeat poor Discord. Problem solved? No! Violence is not the answer."

"He is right this time, my ponies," Celestia agreed.

"Oh, look! The great and powerful princess, making sense as always."

Nopony found this to be funny.

"Of you Celestia and Luna, I ask just one little, yet precious thing. I will rule once again beside you both."

"Never!" that was one of the most outrageous suggestions ever.

"Really? Well, don't blame me, have fun living in your world of order. I can sleep for another thousand years."

"Wait......we must think this through."

"I have waited for eons and no time I give you.....Arrivederci!"

"Don't go......"Celestia stopped abruptly," with the power invested in me you shall now be known as lord Discord, the third co-ruler of Equestria."

"Tia!" Luna protested.

"Oh, yesss! Now if you will excuse me, I have some important things to do.....Sayonara!" Discord flew away.

The next day came with chocolate rain and Discord strolling in the Canterlot Royal Gardens. He was holding an umbrella and a coconut with a straw in it.

"Magnificent!" he said to himself. "Oh...I believe this will be fun, just wait, Equestria.....you will see all the wonders of chaos I have in store for you. Don't forget that ol' Discord knows a thing or two about ruling. Ha!"

He unrolled a piece of paper "Shall I?" he invited himself to its contents. "Let's see.....today's agenda.....breakfast.....check.....moving in.....check.....aaaah....but what's this?....The weather meeting?....Can't miss that now, can I?"

A familiar pony was bouncing towards him.

"Huh....it's you....what a surprise. What's on your mind now?" his good mood changed a little.

"Awwww! You know, just making sure, someone will keep up the show, you silly!"

"But of course! See the rain? Sometimes even I wonder who is responsible," Discord said.

"Well we both know, don't we? Just remember our little "side deal"."

"Oh, my! You flatter me. Now.....I remember they still serve breakfast here."

The two parted their ways.

Two hours later.

Luna was sleeping in her bed, hugging the pillow, when she woke up. The time was 08.00 AM.

"At least one problem is solved," the black mare remained positive. It was cold so she rolled up in her blanket.

"There is something fishy about this. Discord not going berserk? He must be hiding something, but what?" a grumbling tummy interrupted the train of thought.

She burrowed her face in the pillow and held it tighter, but sleep did not come.

"Might as well make an exception today," Luna left the bed.

At the same time.

Celestia looked through the dining hall's window and noticed that it was raining chocolate, somehow the princess was not surprised by such a turn of events.

"Hmm...Pinkie Pie will be happy about this."

Discord was sitting at the far end of the table, eating something, but she could not tell what as there was a big distance between them.

"Good morning, sis," Luna sat down near Celestia.

"Good morning....I see somepony is up early."

"You know, just wanted to make sure everything is all right."

"It is not," Celestia shifted in her seat, "look over there."

"Discord?.....Well that's..."

"Not okay....it means that he will also come to the weather meeting today."

"Don't worry, nopony will listen to him."

"That hasn't stopped him from changing it anyway......so.....why would he bother to attend?.....It's not like Discord enjoys discussing the law."

"Can't say that you are wrong, Tia," Luna looked at Discord.

"What will you be having today?" the serving pony had arrived.

"Tea and a large serving of pasta!" Luna announced as he scribbled it down.

"The usual for me."

"I am afraid to say that we are out of cakes, mam."

"Could you repeat that, please, it seems that I have misheard you," Celestia's eyes widened.

"There is no cake left, Discord ordered everything we had."

"No cake? But that's impossible," she was in denial.

"I am sooo sorry, princess."

Celestia rose.

"HOW DARE HE? THAT MONSTER! HE JUST COMES HERE AND THINKS THAT HE OWNS EVERYTHING. I'LL TEACH HIM NOT TO MESS WITH ME."

"Calm down, sis," Luna's effort was in vain as her sister flew across the hall.

Only now Celestia noticed that Discord had three different cakes in front of him, also an abundance of empty plates indicated that he had been at it for some time.

"YOU ARE THE WORST!"

"Oh? Really? That's something new. Good morning by the way, how is my dear princess doing this fine day?" Discord grinned, cake frosting smudged all over his face.

"YOU ATE ALL THE CAKE!"

He glanced at the table, "well that is entirely possible. Being imprisoned sure works up the appetite, doesn't it?"

"GIVE IT BACK TO ME!" Celestia had an idea.

"No, I don't think so," the answer was short.

"AGH!!!!" no words could describe her feelings.

"There, there," Discord patted her on the head, "have you heard? Cake is bad for my little chubby bunny."

Celestia's face had gone from white to red, the lord of chaos also imagined white steam coming out of her ears.

"Oh....While you are absorbing all that knowledge," Discord giggled as he put out the royal schedule, "I wanted to ask you, what's on today's agenda?"

"Where did you even get that? That's confidential information," Celestia focused her attention on the document.

"Well.....if you must know.....let's just say someone helped me. Yet being a co-ruler and all, I thought I should know. No?"

"That is not my responsibility."

"Really? I am very disappointed then," he sighed.

"Let's go, sis," Luna interrupted.

"I am watching you!" Celestia warned as she was leaving.

Discord said to himself, "Aaah, I am in no hurry to finish my meal.....he-he."

The great hall of Canterlot Castle was the place, where all the important decisions for Equestria's future were made. Lately all of them were easy to handle as everypony always agreed with both the princesses. But today was different. Discord was sitting in a chair, which was levitating above all. At times doing some tricks in the air, he was as happy as a little child.

Celestia, standing on the speaking podium, started the session.

"Thank you all who have come here today. I hereby announce the weather discussion officially open, rain being today's question at issue," she coughed and stared at Discord, who was doing a 360 degrees backwards flip in the background.

She continued, "As everypony knows, rain is vital to our economy. Without it, crops can't grow and the industry won't produce any hay to satisfy the demand for food. In addition to that, both flora and fauna would die out, leaving a lasting effect on the environment. In my opinion only a few changes should be introduced as the current plan works well. Firstly, there have been major complaints about the high intensity of the rain in Manehattan, 14% of the population have sent in a formal complaint, a copy of which you can find in today's print-outs. As discussed beforehand in the workgroups, I suggest moving the regular rain zone 25 kilometers to the North. All in favor?"

As expected everypony agreed. Discord only shrugged his shoulders and yawned.

"Well that was easy," Celestia thought.

"Moving on. The major of Los Pegasus has requested for changes in the rain schedule as it is conflicting with their Halloween celebration. I support the plan to distribute the heavy rain day in two parts - before and after the festivities, consequently the final decision for the rain intensity project in the area will be postponed to consider the new changes. All in favor?"

The decision was reached once again. Discord was quietly snoring in his chair.

"With that I conclude today's voting. It's now time to suggest and discuss new law projects," she moved away from the podium.

Her place was then taken by one of her most trusted pegasai advisors - Lord Henry Lindsworth Sebastian the Fifth of Baltimare.

He cleared his throat before starting to speak.

"The members of the rain committee would like to draw your attention towards the Cloudsdale rain project as there is an insufficient amount of weather ponies to clear up the sky after rain. Currently there are five ponies in this department of who two are inexperienced and working half-time, 10 x 11 kilometer area to take care of. It has been reported that even up to 10 times per month a 7 x 7 kilometer area is not cleared. To me it seems that one experienced pegasus could make up for the gap that is left."

Suddenly the door slammed open from the use of magic and Discord accidentally fell down from the impact.

"Finally, even with wings it was soooo unbelievably hard to find you all, don't test my patience ever again....mmmkay?"

Transformed alicorn Pinkie Pie entered the great hall, her mane magically floating in the air, radiating pink light that could match even Celestia's own.

"DISCORD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Celestia almost wanted to unleash her Royal Canterlot voice for this one.

"Me? Really? Oh my, I am so shocked! Even struck by lightning you may say."

"Stop denying the obvious, draconequus."

"First things first. Shall we? This is my new assistant, I like to call her Pinkamena......Pinkamena, this is one of the royal rulers of Equestria, Celestia."

"NICE TO MEET YOU!" the pink alicorn shouted in Royal Canterlot voice.

"Aaaah, you see, how helpful she is."

"How did you do this?"

"Well, ol' me hates to boast, but I will anyway," Discord grinned, "chaos can give as well as it can take. You see my magic holds many-many secrets."

"MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ISSUE AT HOOF," Pinkamena didn't hesitate to use her new-found powers.

Discord was now at the podium, wearing glasses and reordering documents.

"So......I have been reading all these great ideas of yours.....and.....I am unimpressed.....such nonsense!" he threw all the papers in the air.

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW OR I WILL......" Celestia couldn't finish as magic forced her to sit down.

"Or what? Nothing? Such simple indecisiveness on your part!" Discord continued, "Therefore I, your ruler, have come up with a brand new project. I believe that the rain in Equestria lacks style and randomness. I suggest switching between soda, chocolate, candy, cookie, sweet cream and vanilla rains to brighten up the day, " he pulled out a small pocket watch and pressed the timer, "Pinkamena, if you will?"

"ALL IN FAVOR?" this time the Royal Canterlot voice was accompanied by bright, pink light and left everypony speechless.

After a while Discord looked at his watch and nodded towards the new alicorn.

"ACCEPTED!"

"Well I'd really love to stay and chat, my dears, but duty calls! Au revoir!" he and Pinkamena both left the hall.