The happiest place on Earth.

by Chuckward

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other
Length: 1038

A creepy murderer goes to Equestria and kills ponies.

Mr.# is your everyday fun-loving torture enthusiast, when a mysterious mutant threatens to kill him he decides to go to Equestria. The reason? He's bored, so he deters said boredom in the only way he knows how. Hilarity ensues.

Published 2012-11-03 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-03 03:10:01 UTC

The Eyes of a Child.

It was a beatiful Halloween night, and Mr.# was standing in his doorway staring at children. It wasn't for some sick fetish, Mr.# certainly didn't enjoy the soft supple skin of the children, nor did he tremble in orgasmic delight when the little girls wearing skirts bent over to pick up dropped candy. No, Mr.# was definitely not a child molester, it even said so on his porch. A small child walked up to Mr.# and nervously asked for candy.
"T-trick or treat," the frightened child stuttered out.
Mr.# simply continued to stare at the child, never moving, not even blinking. His rhythmic breathing was the only sound for miles. The child turned to walk away.
"No, don't go." said Mr.# in his slow, soft voice that bordered on the psychopathic.
The voice of Mr.# sent shivers down the child"s spine. The child began to run, but Mr.# was too quick, in an instant he snatched up the small child and pulled him inside the house. Parents and children alike looked on in horror, listening to the pained screams of the child inside the house. Once the screaming ceased the parents and children resumed their trick or treating.
Every year it happens again.
Mr.# steals a child every year, and no one has the courage to stop him, but now the parents were slightly irked by the man's constant murderous acts, and they knew they had to act. They worked tirelessly for five whole minutes, and when they were done, they stood back and admired their creation. It was half man, half eighteen wheeler semi-truck, his name, was Perplexo.

"How can I serve you," asked Perplexo, while breathing fire at the same time, killing half of the crowd.

"Oh great Perplexo," said one of the parents," every year on this very night, Mr.# kills one of our children, please get rid of him."

So Perplexo walked really fast to Mr.#'s house, he then knocked on the door.Mr.# opened the door and stared at Perplexo, he didn't move, he didn't blink, he just stared with those cold unblinking eyes. This made Perplexo very uncomfortable.

"Uh, Mr.#, you have murdered hundreds of millions of innocent children," Mr.# kept staring," I, Perplexo am here to stop you."

Mr.# continued to stare,he didn't move or blink.

"Uh, dude are you okay?" Perplexo waved his hand in front of Mr.#'s face. It was about this time that Perplexo decided to leave, so he turned and started walking away to go tell the humans how creepy Mr.# was. Mr.# immediately grabbed Perplexo and pulled him into the house. Bloodcurdling screams could be heard coming from the inside. When they stopped everyone waited for Perplexo to come outside.

Inside the house Mr.# was standing over the bloody Perplexo who was on the ground before him. He threw the cucumber to the side and began to think. He realized that killing people had just gotten boring, so he walked over to his fridge and pulled out a jar labeled "Portals to Equestria", he opened it and picked out the ripest one, then he ate it and walked into a closet.
_____________________

Berry Punch didn't know when,or how it happened, she just knew that it happened, she was sitting on her couch getting drunk and out of nowhere came a strange bipedal creature wearing a pumpkin on its head. Berry didn't know much, but she did know that she was already head over hooves in love with the mysterious creature. She rushed toward him.

"Kiss me you creepy stranger!"

Mr.# looked at the pony making kissy faces at him. He ran towards her with his arms outstretched, then in one swift motion he snapped her neck. Berry Punch fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Then he heard a knock at the door, he turned and walked over to it. He opened the door. Three small foals greeted him.

"Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give me something sweet to bite," the foals yelled simultaneously.

Mr.# grabbed the foals and pulled them inside. He tied them up and gagged them with socks. They stared into his eyes and began to cry. Mr.# pulled out a small needle. He approached the first foal and in gagged him, then he covered its mouth with his hand. He slowly moved the needle towards the foal's eye. Then he punctured it, gradually pushing the needle in further. He removed his hand from the foal's mouth and piercing screams echoed through the house. The foal struggled against the tight bonds as vitreous fluids leaked from his eye and dripped into his open mouth, forcing him to taste his own sour eye juices. He then did the same to the other eye, arousing more screams of agony from the foal. Slowly the foals eyes deflated as they lost their fluids, exposing the twisted mass of veins and tissue that held the eyes in place. Mr.# stuck both deflated eyeballs into his mouth and bit down, severing the eyeballs and unleashing a cascade of crimson liquid that dripped onto the floor.

Mr.# moved away from the foal, he decided to let this one bleed to death. He had to be merciful sometimes.

Mr.# moved to the next foal and did the same, but this time he grabbed a match and slowly cauterized the wound, eliciting more screams from the foal. This put Mr.# at his limit, he moaned in ecstasy at the shrill cries of the foal. Then he got up and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a large knife and walked back to the foal. He put the knife at the skull and stabbed just far enough to pierce the bone, then he cut around separating a large portion of circular bone matter. Then he peeled back the thin membrane around the brain and began to play with it. He pinched nerves and played with all of the foal's senses. He carefully pushed his finger deep into the brain until he reached the hippocampus, he grabbed it and pulled it out, erasing the foal's memory. He began to feast on the brain matter, squealing in delight at each pained cry that came from the small foal.