Trick or Treat!

by Troll

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 1167

Get your ass off my porch children I aint go no candy

"I choose trick."

The door slammed.

Well, what do we do now?

Published 2012-11-02 05:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-02 05:30:02 UTC

If you pick trick, you're gonna have a bad time.

The moonlight was dim, the majority of the stars were covered by ominous clouds, and the weather was just perfect, not too cold and not too hot. The perfect conditions for Nightmare Night.

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom were all out trick or treating, filling their multi-colored bags with sugary sweets and other dental nightmares.

Sweetie Belle was dressed as a vampire, her costume sewed by Rarity. Scootaloo was dressed as Rainbow Dash, a fitting costume. Apple Bloom was dressed as an... apple... how original.

The three ponies trotted through Ponyville, knocking on the doors and chiming the usual "Trick or Treat!" to the patrons inside the house, which then granted them one piece of candy.

Some of the older folks gave them an apple or a rock, which were promptly thrown into the bushes somewhere along their journey. Each house brought new candy and new fun, each pony commenting on the fillies' costumes. Most ponies thought that Scootaloo's costume was interesting.

As the night drew later and the candy bags grew larger, the fillies were coming to the end of their candy-filled journey. It was almost time to go home. Of course, there was still one house left. Filthy Rich's house.

It was hard to miss, a gigantic mansion on the outskirts of town, in order to keep it out of the "poor" section of Ponyville, even though all sections of Ponyville were poor by comparison.

Everypony knew that Filthy Rich's house gave out the most, the best, and the largest candy in all of Ponyville.

"Come on, girls, let's go to Filthy Rich's house," suggested Scootaloo.

"I don't know, Diamond Tiara doesn't really like us," said Sweetie Belle.

"Ah reckon that her father will open the door, an' we won't have to talk with Diamond Tiara," said Apple Bloom.

"I concede to your point, Apple Bloom, allow us to advance forth on such a journey," said Sweetie Belle.

"Likewise, I concur with your contention," said Scootaloo.

"Indeed, quite indubitably," said Apple Bloom.

The three fillies trotted onward towards the large, looming mansion. When they finally got to the door, Sweetie Belle bashed her head on it a couple of times in order to signal that three fillies were awaiting sweets.

The door swung open, and as if on command, all three fillies sang,"Trick or treat!"

Inside the doorway was a bemused Diamond Tiara.

"I must say your presence at mine establishment is quite uncommon, however presented these options I will have to select 'trick'."

All three fillies stared in disbelief at Diamond Tiara, who slammed the door in their faces.

"I must say, her greeting was ridden with acrimony. She appears to wish us to become the harbingers of tricks. Allow us to act in such a manner," stated Apple Bloom.

The other fillies agreed. They went back to the tree house to discuss plans on how to play a trick on Diamond Tiara.

When they arrived, Sweetie Belle already had a plan.

"I believe that the correct course of action would be to perform a 'trick' in the variety of defacement of property, such as throwing the unfertilized ovaries of a chicken at Diamond Tiara's establishment," she said.

"I must negate your argument, Sweetie Belle," said Scootaloo,"I believe that devolving to such tomfoolery will only result in the instigation of more hostility between the two parties, it is necessary and proper to provide a trick that will not proliferate in to silly practical jokes on either side. It must be swift and well-planned. Apple Bloom do you wish to say anything?"

"Indeed I do, and I shall make is succinct. Truculence should not be the course of action, a ploy utilizing Diamond Tiara's perfunctory hubris will stultify her most properly. Any suggestions?" said Apple Bloom.

"Yes, allow us to perform such a trick digging a hole underground and using said hole to break and enter into her mansion, then we find her bedroom and fill it with frozen cubes of milk. Said frozen cubes of milk will melt under the heated mansions temperature and when Diamond Tiara enters the room a wave of milk will hit her," said Sweetie Belle.

"Excellent suggestion!" exclaimed Scootaloo, "However I am able to pinpoint a glaring error in your calculations, how are we to obtain a large amount of frozen cubes of milk?"

"Never fear, I have them saved within the barn," said Apple Bloom.

"Very well," said Scootaloo, "We shall employ the plan when Diamond Tiara is at her chosen shopping establishment, purchasing goods. However, I fear this is not a sufficient trick, Sweetie Belle do you have a suggestion?"

"Indeed I do," started Sweetie Belle, "I propose that we cover her floors with sand, and then leave her sink running so that it slowly creates mud!"

"A sufficient trick indeed!" exclaimed Scootaloo, "Very well, be prepared with the sand when we go to put the milk cubes in place tomorrow morning. Team move out!"

The three fillies exited the tree house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, the three fillies arrived in a field nearby Diamond Tiara's house. Filthy Rich was off on business and Diamond Tiara was busy shopping.

The fillies entered the mansion through the hole that Scootaloo had dug. They quickly got to work.

Sweetie Belle poured sand all over the house's floor, while Scootaloo turned on the faucet and got the water running. Apple Bloom trotted up to Diamond Tiara's room and placed the milk cubes in. She then closed the door.

Little did Apple Bloom know that the door was elevated slightly off the ground.

When the ponies were finished with their trickery, they exited the mansion from the hole and stood outside of it for a little while. Then, they hid in a bush, awaiting the arrival of Diamond Tiara to view the results of their trickery.

"Has the milk begun melting yet?" asked Scootaloo.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that I gave the incorrect information at the time of planning. I did not have cubes of milk, I had frozen cubes of chlorine gas," said Apple Bloom.

"I, too, did not give accurate information. I could not find any sand so I substituted small bits of sodium metal instead. Do not ask me where I obtained such a large quantity of it," said Sweetie Belle.

"Likewise," said Apple Bloom, "Do not interrogate me of the procuring of the frozen chlorine gas cubes."

Scootaloo sighed, "I suppose, then, that there is no trick at all. We have failed."

All of a sudden, Diamond Tiara's house exploded.

Scootaloo was aghast. The ponies watched in awe. After it was over, Scootaloo spoke.

"I suppose a lack of house is a sufficient trick to play on Diamond Tiara. Allow us to skip away and giggle about our misdeed."

And so they did.

"Twas such an exceptional trick!"

And that's what happens if you don't put a treat in the bag.

The End