The Pandoran

The Pandoran

Chapter 2: Your Personal Demon

At the edge of Ponyville sat a small cottage, well known for the kindhearted owner and occupant, and the multitude of animals that were attended to there. Occasionally the house would be visited by various ponies, and every time they would be welcomed with a soft hello. Pinkie Pie had come to expect it, and today was no different in her mind. She bounced down the road towards Flutters’ house, giggling and singing happily, her pink mane bobbing happily with the rest of her.

She was super excited to have the time to drop by, and carried a box of cupcakes on her back. As the cottage came into view she smiled even wider as she saw Flutters, AJ, Twi and Dashie going in. Except for Rarity, the whole gang was there! She didn’t quite know why, and for a moment she considered going back to grab Rarity when it hit. A series of spasms rocked her entire body, causing her to bounce and jolt around. Her Pinkie sense was predicting a doozie. But this time something was different. Each spasm came with a sharp spike of pain, leaving her collapsed on the ground, whimpering.

Throughout the years, through trial and error, Pinkie had come to learn the meanings behind the various twitches and tweaks. She had even learned how to distinguish a doozie from a really long chain, though it had been a tricky process. But in all her years, her Pinkie sense had never caused her pain. She shuddered in fear for a moment. Whatever the sense had picked up, she knew it was going to be bad.

She put a hoof up to her mane to find it had deflated. The box of cupcakes lay just past her reach. She stood up tall, resolved not to worry. She jammed her hoof into her mouth and blew on it. Her mane poofed back up with the sounds of a balloon rapidly inflating and she skipped forwards to Fluttershy’s house. No reason to worry! Today was going to be a happy day!

******

The inside of Fluttershy’s cottage went wild with noise as cyan hooves struck a skull like a brick wall. Rainbow Dash felt the jolt of the blow travelling up her leg and a resounding crack that awoke every creature in the house. Fluttershy could only stare in abject horror as Rainbow spun once more and raised her hooves to strike again. The blow missed by an inch as Twilight levitated the violent Pegasus into the air, much to Fluttershy’s relief.

She rushed over with her newly purchased supplies and flipped the cot and creature over. “Umm, Twilight? Could you come over here? I mean, I don’t think we should ignore this…” she said softly and tentatively. Unfortunately, an argument had broken out behind her. The three mares she had brought to help her were screaming over the noise of the animals, with Applejack criticizing Dash for being so brash, Dash defending herself and attempting to justify her actions, and Twilight twitching and shouting to nopony in particular about the creature speaking Pony.

“Umm, could we please calm down? Not to be rude, but could we, please?” Fluttershy gently squeaked. The shouting continued, arguably getting louder. She cowered from the noise for a moment, and then turned on “The Stare”. The effect was immediate. Everypony in her line of sight felt the presence upon them like a ton of bricks, and they immediately fell silent. Her normally calm and peaceful expression had hardened, spreading an evil aura felt throughout Equestria.

As suddenly as it had come, The Stare vanished, replaced by a soft smile and kind eyes. “Now Twilight, I need your help. I think some of his bones are broken, and I’d very much appreciate it if you could help me set them so I can properly bandage him. I hope it’s not too much trouble.” Fluttershy’s words were soft and calm, and yet held an imposing weight from the aftermath of The Stare. Many miles away, in the city of Fillydelphia, a young stallion’s jaw suddenly broke from the weight of the words, in the form of a collision with a parking meter.

Twilight walked over to the motionless creature, reaching in with her magic to straighten the bones. Fluttershy pointed out where the wounds were, but when Twi reached in, she found nothing. The bones were slightly cracked, and a few were dislocated, but as far as she could tell were already beginning to reattach to the muscles, albeit slowly. “You’re sure his bones were broken, right? Not just dislocated?” she said, looking over the creature.

Most of the blood had dried, and as Fluttershy wiped it off, both the mares saw that the cuts and bruises had begun to heal. “This is so strange. I wonder how these wounds healed so very quickly.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have anything to compare it to, but if your descriptions of what happened are correct, it would seem that his wounds were more superficial than you believed. Presumably he’s stronger and more sturdily built than your average pony. Celestia will definitely want to hear about this.” Twilight’s pulled a piece of paper and a quill from a nearby desk and began to make studies and diagrams of the animal as Fluttershy went to work removing the shrapnel from his legs.

Rainbow and AJ stared at their friends and the mysterious creature. “Whadya reckon it is Dash?” Applejack nodded towards the figure strapped to the cot, and Dash gave a shrug in response.

“Omigoshahuman!” The sudden loud and excited voice drew the attention of everypony in the room to the pink earth pony now standing in the doorway, eyes locked on the “human”. She rushed over, bombarding everypony, especially poor Fluttershy, with questions. “Ohmygosh, howdidhegethere andwhy’sheallbloody andFluttershy’shurttoo? What’sgoingon comeontellmeplease!” The questions continued to pour from the pink mare’s mouth as Fluttershy cowered away, Twilight tried to calm Pinkie down, and Dash and AJ watched in confusion. None of them noticed as the human began to stir, and started laughing weakly.

Bad odds. Five voices now. Fucking hell, he was in trouble. Mind was scrambled, confused. More so than usual, couldn’t even think. His eyes peeled open, spotted a thatched roof. Looked to the side and saw the newcomer; a pink one, no horn or wings, ranting about something. Words blurred together, vision too. Saw a blob of cotton candy. Had never eaten cotton candy, but knew of it. He looked down; saw fresh bandages and small amounts of fresh blood on his pants. Recovery was faster for psychos, especially with wounds as small as these. Nothing deep, no broken bones. A few manageable cracks in the arms and ribs, and a throbbing headache.

He embraced the pain, let it clear his mind, let it sharpen him up. He was looking into the eyes of a pink pony just inches from his face now. It was staring at him. He could hear the purple one talking, telling the others to leave. The quiet one was asking the pink one to back away. His eyes locked with hers. On Pandora, he killed things that stared at him.

The pony bolted up, and the man started to pick out the words along with the meanings.

“Heeeey! There’s no need to be a meany mean pants!” Her response came as a shock to him. His mind clearing up, he wondered if this creature was in his head.

“Well of course not silly! I’m just speaking with your eyes!”

This was getting ridiculous. He stopped her from interrupting, and cast her a glare. He was getting pissed off, and if the bloodlust came back, then all hell would break loose, and nobody would be able to stop it.

“Hell? What’s that? Is there cake?”

His thoughts drifted to Pandora, and how he had never once eaten a cake on the planet.

“You’ve never had cake?” she exclaimed, her mind foreign to the concept of one never having tried such confections.

He had eaten things made to look like cake, like skag cake, spider-ant cake, and once a midget cake, but never the pastry itself. The pink equine gasped at the revelation.

“You eat meat!” She screamed.

******

For the past few minutes Twilight and Fluttershy had watched Pinkie Pie carry on a one-way conversation with the cackling creature, occasionally making a strange outburst. When she suddenly screamed “You eat meat!” they pulled her away. Pinkie’s mane had deflated, and she trembled more than Fluttershy had at the loud scream. The creature was still laughing, but now it began to toss and flex against his bonds. Fluttershy rushed over, worried that he would hurt himself.

“Wait!” she yelped, “Please wait! Don’t do that please! You might hurt yourself!” Her hooves hovered over the thrashing beast, his teeth clenched. He shot a glare at her that hit like boulder from the top of a mountain.

“Gotta move. Need to stand, rise, must rise!” He groaned as he pushed against his bonds. The creature seemed more in control, definitely much calmer. Fluttershy ran a hoof across the top of his head, causing him to pause at stare at her again.

“I need you to calm down now please. I’ll undo the straps, but you need to promise not to run away. You’re still hurt, okay?” Her voice was soft, and it miraculously managed to calm him down. After all, at heart he was an animal, driven by instincts and aggression. He lay still as Fluttershy began to loosen the straps, starting at the legs and working her way up.

Pinkie twitched nervously the entire time, and Twilight began to worry as well. Pinkie was normally the most receptive of the group, the most willing to open up. “Uh, Pinkie? Are you all right?” she said.

The response was immediate with Pinkie grabbing Twilight by the shoulders, a task most ponies would find difficult from a lack of fingers. Her mane poofed up and her eyes went wide. “Of course I’m not okay! That’s a human! And he eats meat! He’s probably gonna eat somepony! I even came up with a song!”

Twilight put a hoof over Pinkie’s mouth. “I’ve heard enough Pinkie. Where did you even come up with this? And how do you know this- this creature even is a ‘human’ as you call it?”

“Lyra told me!” The abrupt response prompted a facehoof and a groan from the unicorn. She knew the word human had sounded familiar; Lyra would often rant and rave about how they had existed long before ponykind. Most of the time Twilight dismissed it, but this creature’s appearance made her wonder if the mint green pony might have known what she was talking about.

Fluttershy undid the last rope and the creature sat up, stretching out widely. He sat up slowly and looked around. The three watched the human gazing over the room. He turned and stared intently at Pinkie. Their eyes met for a minute.

You’re like me, aren’t you?

I do not eat meat! Meat is super-duper nasty!

I meant bat-shit crazy. The only other time this happens is with the other Psychos.

Psychos? What’s a psycho? I’m Pinkie Pie!

…Never mind. Where’s the fucking toilet?

“Oh, the toilet?” Pinkie said loudly, causing the human to cringe slightly. “It’s up the stairs, second door on the right! Be sure to wash your hooves! Wait, you don’t have hooves. Wash whatever you use instead of hooves!” The human rolled his eyes and walked away, occasionally letting out an uncontrollable manic laugh. Once again all eyes were on the surprisingly happy Pinkie Pie.

“Umm, Pinkie, I hope I’m not intruding, but how are you able to talk to him like that?” Fluttershy whispered.

“Aww, its easy Flutters! You just look into his eyes and read what his he says!”

In the past the rest of the Elements of Harmony had thought of getting Pinkie professional help, but each time had decided against it. The memories of the discussions popped into the two other ponies minds as they tried to understand what Pinkie had said.

******

Aside from a minor pain in his legs, the psycho was more or less recovered. He had to admit, the new world was surprising in many ways. The colors were brighter, and for that matter there were plenty of colors. The animals were certainly friendlier, even the Pegasus that had for all intents and purposes made him her bitch. The fact that the ponies were talking wasn’t as confusing as the fact that the bathroom had a normal toilet, complete with toilet paper.

He had once seen a skag singing West Side Story, but had never even heard of anything but people using a toilet. There was definitely an issue of how they used toilet paper without hands, but he was willing to dismiss that for the time being.

Bathrooms and Ponies aside, he had to wonder how the Pink one, Pinkie Pie, had been able to communicate with him. He knew of telepathy and the like, and one of the little known effects of the mutations he had partaken in was the ability to communicate with others who had been… whatever had happened to him. He couldn’t remember, but he knew that all Psychos had an unspoken bond, one that allowed them to cooperate more than the other bandits.

Was it possible this pony had experienced a similar mutation? If so, what had changed about her? She seemed energetic, exceptionally happy, and most certainly insane, but he still couldn’t tell if she was indeed a mutant like him. One of the first things that had changed about him when he changed was a desire to eat, especially when it came to meat. Perhaps she had a carnivorous sweet tooth as well?

He pushed the thought from his head. He needed to focus on the important things, like securing a place in whatever society was established here. On Pandora, he had been known as a ruthless bandit, willing to charge whatever threat crossed his path and chop it to bits. Here however, his special brand of sadistic violence would most likely not be as accepted; assuming the yellow one’s reaction to feasting could be an acceptable basis for the inhabitant’s attitudes, it seemed he would need a new niche.

The waste in the toilet went down easily, not clogging or overflowing, and the sink cleansed his hands of germs. The stairs creaked with each booted footstep, and the ponies turned to face him as he arrived once more downstairs. The purple one stepped forward tentatively. He could see her fear; it hung around her, a thick aura that smelt slightly like onions and sugar. He tried hard but felt the laughter coming. Fear always stoked the bloodlust, fanned the flames, made him crazy. Right now he needed to be focused.

“Hey there crazy daisy! Feeling better now?” Pinkie’s exuberance provided a welcome stop to the insanity bubbling up from his gut. He grinned, trying to keep his face from going to its normal demented stare. He slowly opened his mouth, keeping his words as simple as clear as he could.

“So. You got me here. What ‘cha need?” He laughed softly the entire time, and the scent of fear grew stronger. His eye twitched, and the unicorn shuddered slightly. Pinkie was still jumping around, unable to sit still, and the Pegasus wrapped a wing around the shivering unicorn. She straightened out, raising her head high, which meant she was roughly eye level with his waist.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Her voice trembled, but still held an air of authority. “And on behalf of the Princesses Celestia and Luna, I welcome you to Equestria, and warn you that we will not stand for any continued aggression against any of the citizens of Equestria.”

For the first time in years the man let out a whole hearted laugh. She was, to put it scientifically, full of skag shit. He had heard such authority speeches before, and in several cases the ones giving them had wound up dead. For a tiny creature to try and intimidate him like this? It was downright hilarious.

Unfortunately, she didn’t share his sense of humor, lashing out with a bolt of magic. He took the full brunt of it in his chest, and while it knocked the wind out of him, he was still ready for action. He leapt forward, tackling her and pinning her to the ground. Pinkie gasped and started chattering away, the words blurring together to the point of being completely unintelligible.

That was when he felt it. A presence on his side, a presence burning into him. He turned and came face to face with the yellow Pegasus, her eyes giving him a powerful glare. It burned into him, and if he had his mask on he was sure it would have burned through that too. He felt his arms begin to weaken, and his manic laughter began to die down.

“Stop that.” The Pegasus’s voice was as soft and smooth as ever, but now it carried a sternness that he couldn’t dismiss. He glared back, bracing his will against hers. “I want you to let Twilight go now. What you’re doing is very, very bad and I want you to stop right now.”

The purple unicorn slowly pulled herself out from underneath the man, still locked in a battle of wills with the Pegasus. He felt it coming; the bloodlust rose, his mind began to falter. Eyes locked, his laughing ended. The room was almost empty, two occupants; man versus mare, a battle of wits. Gentle but firm words came: “I want you to play nice, okay? Don’t hurt anypony.”

Beads of sweat, yet she still stood firm. On his hands and knees, but his will was as strong as ever. A drop of sweat fell from both faces. Silence, a drop of water echoed through the room. Miles away, a statue of the Princesses cracked under the redirected force. Nobody noticed. The eyes of a human and the eyes of a pony remained locked.

The connection suddenly crashed, and the man’s head smashed into the ground, cracking the floorboards and leaving a bloody splotch. The Pegasus jolted upright and shook her head, as the man’s mind became whole for a few glorious seconds. He remembered everything; his life before prison, before the Dahl corporation came, before Pandora, and before they stabbed him with that damn artifact. He remembered it all now. They stabbed him with the thing they found, the key to the vault. It twisted him up, changed him mind and body, and ripped his memories and most of his sanity from him.

For a few glorious moments, he remembered everything. And in the next, he was lying on the floor, blood pouring from his forehead and the yellow Pegasus flipping him over so she could apply another bandage.

******

“C’mon Twilight! I’m sure he won’t be a meany mean pants anymore! Fluttershy’s even using The Stare! The STARE!” Pinkie shouted in vain at the fleeing unicorn. She knew why Twi ran; being pinned by the human definitely seemed like a scary situation, even though he was laughing the entire time, even if it wasn’t exactly a happy laugh so much as a kookie lookie laugh. Under most circumstances Pinkie would be encouraging her to run, or skipping behind her. Today was different though; today she had brought cupcakes.

She bounced in, slowed a bit out of concern for both her friends, and spotted Fluttershy bandaging up the human again. Even given the seriousness of the situation, she found it funny how much blood the human had. Seriously, the blood was all over the ground floor of the cottage! She wasn’t even sure how it all fit in his body! Despite that, she giddily hopped over to the two with her box of cupcakes.

“Looks like he had one heck of a doozy! I didn’t know the stare could do that!” Pinkie wrapped a leg around Flutter’s neck, as relaxed as usual. Fluttershy remained quiet, finishing up the bandages. “I mean, look at all the blood! It’s cu-ray-zee!” Pinkie took note of how creepy she must have sounded, and silently promised herself not to do something that super creepy again.

Fluttershy began to tremble and sob, her eyes welling up as she finished the bandages. Pinkie pulled the yellow Pegasus into a warm hug. “C’mon, cheer up Fluttershy! There’s nothing to worry about! He’ll be fine!”

“… I saw everything.” The already soft voice came out as a whimper so quiet that Pinkie barely picked it up. Fluttershy lifted her head up, eyes full of tears. “I saw that horrible, horrible world he came from. I saw all the monsters, and vicious animals, and the other humans- oh Celestia the humans!”

She buried her head into Pinkies shoulder, crying wildly as she continued. “The things they did to the other creature, or to each other, or themselves, it was all so horrible! It’s no wonder he acted the way he did! It’s no wonder he acted like a monster!”

For a few minutes, she did nothing but cry while Pinkie Pie held her close, trying to get her to calm down. “There there, it’s all right. Your old Aunt Pinkie Pie’s here to cheer you up! Besides,” she opened the pink box at her side, removed one of the slightly battered cupcakes and passed it to Fluttershy, “I brought cupcakes! Nopony can be sad with cupcakes!”

Fluttershy seemed to pick up slightly, and started nibbling on the cupcake. Pinkie turned to the human, lying flat on the ground with his eyes wide and locked on the ceiling. His mouth was barely open, and he drooled slightly in his apparent daze. Pinkie’s energy returned, and she began to talk a mile a minute. “Hey, we should pick a name for him. Or ask him his name. Do you think he has a name? I mean, we can’t just call him ‘human’, though I ‘s’pose we could call him ‘Hugh Man’, but that seems kind of silly.”

“Call me Evets.” The human stirred and sat up slowly, his cackling returning and his eyes focusing. “Evets the Psycho.” He stood up to his full height, oblivious to his injuries. “Your personal psycho Fluttershy!” He bent over and grabbed one of Flutters’ forehooves and planted a big, loud kiss on it. Fluttershy turned pale, and Pinkie could only watch as Evets began to laugh and roar wildly.

“WE’RE GONNA HAVE ONE HELL OF A TIME!” He began to slap his head and throw his arms about, jumping madly all over the room, laughing loudly. “AWW YEAH!”

******

Evets smiled as he rested on his blood stained cot. When the night came she offered to get him a clean one, but he had assured her he would sleep more soundly on one covered in his very life essence. Back on Pandora he had grown accustomed to resting atop the bloody carcasses of his enemies. It was obvious now that this was a planet with minimal conflict, and that he would need to wean himself out of the habit.

Sleep was far from his mind, so his thoughts drifted to his new boss, the yellow Pegasus by the name of Fluttershy. Ah, such an enigma she was! He had met her that very morning, and she promptly and effectively beat him into a state of submission. And yet she stopped him from ending his own life and in fact set out to nurse him back to health.

He didn’t feel he owed her anything, as was normal for him, and yet he couldn’t help but desire to follow her. Perhaps it was her combat ability? He had to admit, the pony knew how to handle herself; taking on a psycho in close combat is a difficult task. More than that she seemed to be a master of psychological combat, proven by her ability to freeze and control him with a stare.

Perhaps it was simply the old instincts and reflexes from Pandora staying true; power allowed for survival, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that this pink-haired pony would definitely aid such an endeavor.

A tap on the head caused Evets to open his eyes, coming face to face with the white rabbit. This time it carried a small rat that it set on his forehead. Evets sat up and stared at the bunny. Their eyes met, and he could see its intentions.

You keep her safe and don’t upset her, I’ll find you meat. You like meat, don’t you? I can only do so much for her. You fuck up though? I swear to Luna herself I’ll beat your ass.

Evets began to laugh, focusing on keeping the volume low. The rabbit was crazy, definitely more violent than the average bunny. There were at least two people as crazy as he was in this world!

He chomped down on the rat, taking its head off and noting the coldness of the meat. This thing had been dead for a while, but food was food. The skull crunched as he leaned back, letting his thoughts drift to Pinkie Pie. She was definitely an interesting one, crazy, energetic, and one hell of a chef. If it was possible for him to make friends out here, he figured she would be a good candidate.

But that other one, the purple unicorn, seemed to be something of a danger. She had been completely convinced when she talked about representing the local authority, and had to wonder how they would react, especially if they learned about the blue unicorn he had eaten the day before. Would he be locked up? Experimented upon? Deported to an alien planet to mine for riches, or simply be left there to die?

Frankly, none of the possibilities worried him. The only thing to worry about would be execution, and he figured he could take a fair amount of them in a fight, assuming they didn’t all fight like Fluttershy. That gave him pause; he had a limited pool of intelligence about the ponies, meaning any generalizations he would make had the possibility of exploding in his face like a protean grenade.

Evets dismissed all his thoughts as he sucked down the rat’s tail like a strand of spaghetti, vaguely remembering how the last meal he had on Pandora had been rat tail soup. Sleep began to take him, and as he lay down in the silent house he heard the soft snoring of the Pegasus upstairs. If any other person was to sleep so soundly with a psycho downstairs they would be written down as too stupid to live, but she slept soundly because…

Sleep finally pulled Evets down as he tried his hardest to understand why she trusted him. Just another mystery of this yellow winged pony. With the moon high in the sky and only the chirping of crickets and soft breathing of animals for ambiance, he slept sounder than he had slept in a great many years.