Chapters Twilight stared at her quill with absolute hatred. She focussed on every detail; every fiber of the white feather ingrained itself into her mind. Absolute fury poured from her eyes, not blocked in the least by her frazzled mane. She felt her eye twitch as her scowl deepened. She concentrated, reaching deep within herself.
Now move, damn you!
She felt the energy trickle out, slowly building the spell. Yes! Maybe it’ll work this time!
Suddenly, a wave of darkness crashed over her, and forced her breath away. The crushing burst of depression swept away reality. Her vision faded...
She came to a few moments later, flat on the floor. No longer possessing the will to move, she lay still on the hard oak. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, and a small part of her worried it would stain the floor. Her sense of time vanished as her dark thoughts circled.
“What’s wrong with me?” she sobbed. “Why won’t it work?”
A knock came from her door, effectively silencing her as she waited for the intruder to speak. She tried to count the seconds, but her internal clock, much like her heart, fluttered erratically.
“Twilight, can I come in?” asked Spike.
She answered with silence, absent, yet piercing all the same. She knew it would hurt him, but there was only one who knew her pain right now. The same one whom she had lost.
“Wh-when you’re ready, I’ll be here. You know that, right?”
Again, she did not speak, but this time, a sob forced its way from her throat. Whatever illusion she had hoped for, she knew it was destroyed now. How could she protect Spike if she couldn’t even save herself?
Spike listened from the door. He had known something was wrong from the moment they’d finished that spell. He also knew that Twilight was over-protective, but this bordered the ridiculous. Of all the mares in the world, she should know that friends are there to help; even more so for family.
Of course, he sighed, she’s also the worst at learning these lessons.
He walked downstairs, making sure the mare could hear. She deserved a chance to let it out, even if it wasn’t to him.
The sounds of hushed conversation reached him on the way down.
“Art thou sure she can withstand it? Having one’s psyche altered is an... unpleasant experience.” whispered Luna.
“Now, sister, I’ve said this before: I have the utmost trust in her. She will get through this.” replied the other Princess, in equally hushed tones.
Ugh, I wish I understood this... Wait! Psyche is just another word for mentality, and if anypony had that changed, it’d have to be Rarity!
“But surely thou must have plans in place.”
Wait, she could help, right?
“Yes, if it comes to it. Still, if she can make it through this time, then it will open up endless opportunities for her magical prowess. You know I speak the truth.”
That’s a terrible reason to not help!
“If thou art certain, then we shall still our tongue. Nopony would darest spill these words, anyhow.”
Why should I not tell her?
“I merely hope that she doesn’t require magical aide. Advice is fine, but magic... That would alleviate the symptoms, not the problem.”
“You do seem correct, we merely pray Spike shall understand.”
Celestia, seeing the implication, spun around, panic in her eyes. “What!? You knew?” she asked Luna. “Spike, you must understand. If Twilight Sparkle recieves help of a magical nature, she will remain forever injured. This is no simple wound! Do you understand?”
“O-of course I do... I think.” gulped the dragon.
“Allow me to put it differently. If you try to fix her with magic, it will only hurt her further. Is that better?”
“Yes...” he replied.
“Good. Now, we must go. Lu, if you would?”
“We hast told thee not to call us that.” the Mare of Night grumbled.
Then, in a flash of light, the Royalty disappeared, leaving Spike alone. In the dark.
Forever alone...
Fluttershy knocked at the door, still trying to shake the nightmare that lingered in her mind. Angel lay on her back, dozing peacefully. He hadn’t left her side since two nights ago--when the gems had last glowed. She still couldn’t remember what happened. It hurt to think about it.
As Brother Cleon opened the door, she said, “You wanted to see me?”
“Ah, yes. About that.” he yawned, pawing at his bloodshot eyes. “I looked into that disturbance the other night, and I must say, the indicators are quite strange.”
“What does that mean?” inquired the mare. Fluttershy wiggled her wings, figuring that Angel would want to hear.
Cleon walked through the door, and called, “Follow me, and I’ll show you.”
The trio entered a dark room, two floors below ground. Cleon held his candle to a groove in the wall, and in a flash, flames rose around the walls.
The brickwork walls were scorched from previous flames. In the center, a dark pool of water seemed to absorb the light. It was a dark abyss, bordered by a silver rim. A large, dark ruby hung above it, wreathed in gold. Around the ruby, the small green gems surrounded it in a loose sphere.
“What is this place?” gasped Fluttershy.
“We call it the Room of Reflection.” Cleon explained. “Long ago, when our Founder first discovered the gems’ side effect, he put in a system that tracked down their effects, and revealed what occurred. The down-side to it, was that it must be viewed, and remembered, by the one who’s will altered the spell.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Well, I hate to ask you this, but we need you to try and remember that night. If you succeed, the Pool should take care of the rest.”
Fluttershy swallowed hard. She could feel her face grow pale, and her wings tighten against her. No. This is important. As she forced herself to take a braver pose, she couldn’t help but worry that she may have hurt her friends. I have to do it.
“I-I’ll try.” she stuttered. Darn it, Fluttershy! Suck it up! “No, I will!” she stated.
Cleon nodded. “Would you like me to stay? I know that some prefer to make this sort of journey alone.”
“You can go, if you’d like.” she replied as coolly as she could.
“I’ll be back in an hour. If you get it to work before then, come find me.”
“Okay.”
Cleon padded through the door, the thick wood slamming behind him. Once he left the room, Fluttershy groaned, “Oh, Angel. What have I gotten myself into?”
Fluttershy gasped as the pain overwhelmed her. Her racing heart grew calm as she felt Angel curled up beside her. She struggled to regain the faint image that she’d had, but the details eluded her.
All she could remember was one mare. A unicorn, that much was sure, but who? What really stood out, though, were the eyes. Something looked broken in those deep, bloodshot eyes. It was then that a spark of recognition flew through her mind. She knew that look. It was the same look as when she had told Dash; when she’d told Cleon.
She could feel more details trickling into the image. Long hair grew out, framing the pained face. The face began to fill with color, dying the whole a deep purple. A stern frown fell across, completing the look, yet still seeming incomplete.
Twilight?
Fluttershy felt a scream rip its way through her throat, and then she was elsewhere.
When she opened her eyes, Fluttershy immediately knew something was wrong. She was upstairs in the library, but there were these strange circles on the floor. She saw her friends standing in them. Each glowed with a strange magic.
That, however, wasn’t even the strangest part. When she looked around, she realized that she was only one of many Fluttershy’s. Each of the others were babbling, incoherent when heard alone, but together forming into a massive chain of thought. She remembered feeling the same conflict in her, both now, and every day since she had left. She could hear their voices, speaking her mind.
“The Beast is out.”
“I should’ve stayed.”
“They deserve to know.”
“The Beast is out.”
“But then they would hate me.”
“Rainbow’s already told them.”
“The Beast is out.”
“What if they didn’t find the letter?”
“The Beast is out.”
“Then it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course, Pinkie would find it.”
“The Beast is out.”
“But what if—”
“Cut the spell!” cried Celestia.
“The Beast is out.”
“I can’t go back.”
“I’m trying!” screeched Rarity.
“The Beast is out.”
“I can’t hurt them.”
“I’m so sorry,” whispered Rainbow Dash.
Then a blinding flash filled the room. Rarity screamed.
When she opened her eyes once more, Fluttershy was in Twilight’s room. This time, not much seemed off. Several books lay open around the room, but that was normal. Parchment lay strewn across the desk, but that wasn’t very unusual. Then she saw Twilight laying on the floor, tears streaking her face. The sound of somepony using the stairs reached her ears.
The purple mare released a loud sob, and Fluttershy’s heart waged war against her. Contrary to her better judgement, the pegasus walked over to her friend, and ran a hoof through the purple hair. Twilight looked up, her eyes wide in shock. Maybe even fear?
“Fluttershy?” she asked.
Her eyes spoke volumes. They screamed of hopes that were shattered, dreams denied. They sang of longing, that only a true friend could have. Her eyes, those violet orbs, they begged for this to be real. Fluttershy couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t look into those eyes , for they were not merely eyes. Whoever had said “Eyes are the gateway to the soul”, Fluttershy now knew exactly how correct they were. Those seas of sadness that beat her Stare into dust; those oceans of anguish that overwhelmed all mental defenses; those continents of confusion, floating amongst a vast white; they destroyed her. How could I have done this? I would never hurt her...
“Am I dreaming?”
Fluttershy wanted to answer. She wanted with all her heart to scream “yes”, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t deny this responsibility. She didn’t dare tempt fate by telling her best friend that it had never happened. What if this wasn’t a dream? All she would do then is hurt Twilight even further.
No, rather than speak; rather than answer that impossible question, Fluttershy continued her motions. She crooned to her friend, much like she had to Angel when he was small. Eventually, they grew into a soft lullaby.
When the other mare had fallen asleep, Fluttershy felt herself pulled away again.
She awoke back in the dark room to find Cleon standing in the doorway. He walked over to her, placing a gentle talon on her shoulder.
“I heard you. I take it the Pool worked?” he asked, concerned.
“I think so.” ventured Fluttershy. “Now what?”
Cleon walked to the wall, and pressed a button, which had, to Fluttershy’s eye, looked to be just another brick. The surface of the pool shimmered in response, before becoming a complete white. Slowly, coor began to fill the picture, and then it began to show her visions.
“Cleon! Tell me where we’re going!”
The monk had bolted upstairs the moment the Pool went dark. He rambled about something being wrong, but refused to say what. At this point, though, the pegasus was completely lost. Following Cleon was the best shot she had at getting to a familiar part of the enormous building.
“Cleon!” she shouted.
“Don’t you see?” he said, turning completely around. “We can help her! That spell, the light you saw, it was her doing. It would’ve been terrible for her, but no, the spell got altered by your will—that’s why the Pool worked—and now you’ve been merged! You have a connection, one that we can use to heal both of you at the same time ! Do you trust me?”
“Of course,” she responded automatically.
“Then don’t question me again. Give me your full trust,” he insisted, “because these methods are going to seem very strange to you, but it works. It’s tradition, in fact. I went through these same procedures when I was small, but we’re going to have to speed up the process a bit. All you have to do is trust me.”
Then the gryphon turned and started running towards his unknown destination once more.
When they finally arrived, Fluttershy collapsed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ran so fast for that long. Her lungs were on fire, and the thick moisture in the air was only making it worse. It was like... a sauna?
In fact, she was not far off in her guess. Looking around, Fluttershy saw steam hanging in the air, sometimes condensing on the thick stone tiles. In the center of the room was yet another pool, but this one seemed different. Upon closer inspection, the water was a deep brown, bubbling slowly throughout its shiny surface.
“Where are we?” she gasped.
“This is the first of the Trials,” Cleon began. “This is the reason I was so excited. You see, things could be a lot worse. Your friend would’ve lost her magic no ma—”
“She what!?”
Cleon sighed impatiently, his left talon scraping lightly at the ground. “Yes. Magical ability is dependant on your state of mind. If you can’t keep yourself calm then all the energy in the world won’t help you. Your aura literally shatters. She’s lucky she’s coping this well, although, from your stories it sounds like she has a mild resistance to this effect. Rather curious that she’s experiencing this only now.”
“You mean this is my fault?” sobbed Fluttershy.
Cleon padded over and sat next to her. His wing extended and draped over her back. He stared, trying to find eyes in the swimming sea of pink mane. “This is not your fault,” he stated. “She knew the risks when she used that magic, and if she didn’t then she obviously isn’t the ‘wise student’ that you make her out to be. Blood Magic is dangerous. She knew that.”
Fluttershy buried her head in the dark brown feathers, staining them with tears. “But if I hadn’t left—”
“But nothing. You left because you had to, and they’re safer for it. You said that yourself, but let me ask you this: are you sure it’s as bad as you thought?”
Cleon rose from his position, leaving a flabbergasted Fluttershy behind him. He walked into the pool, but when his first talon touched the muddy waters, the liquid suddenly hardened in a small circle around it. He continued until he stood over the center.
“Do you see this?” he asked. “The reason I can stand here is because I accept the world around me. I don’t question how I’m standing on liquid, I merely do it. If you can stand here with me, and tell me that you are absolutely certain this ‘Beast’ of yours poses a danger to your friends, then I will help. Until then, I’ll be in my quarters.”
“But you promised... How could you ask me that?”
As Cleon walked past her, he whispered, “I can’t help you learn this, but if I could do it, then so can you.”
The door slammed as he left the room, the echo bouncing throughout only to be drowned out by the bubbling and sobs. Angel crawled out of his wing-crib and carefully stroked his companion’s mane as she cried.
After what felt like an eternity, Fluttershy began to regain some semblance of consciousness. The first thing she noticed was Angel. The little white furball was still stroking through her long mane. He was even trying to hum her lullaby back to her. She never would have had the heart to tell him, but he was horribly off key.
The next thing she noticed was less than comfortable. There was sand congealed throughout her fur, making an unbearable itch. It must have been from the mud pool, but she couldn’t remember coming into contact with it.
She tried standing up, but her legs didn’t have the strength to support her. As she slid down, her hoof brushed the mud. Unlike for Cleon, however, it did not solidify. Instead it felt rather soothing. The heat soaked through her skin in a way that only one thing had ever done. That was so long ago...
“Mommy, can I have some more?” asked Fluttershy.
“Sorry, hun, but we’re all out of dumplings,” replied Empty Sound, gesturing towards the empty soup-pot. A hint of her southern drawl had leaked back into her voice.
“But it’s so good!” whined the filly. “Can’t you get s’more?”
“Well, somepony’s gotta watch you. Do you want me to call Trace, or should I take you to Granny’s?”
“Will she have the chocolate!?” squealed Fluttershy, her face lighting up in joy.
“Of course! Look outside,” said her mother, pointing through the window. Gentle snowflakes were falling from the sky, casting a white glow to contrast the gloomy winter shade. “It is toffy making weather. You know,” she continued, leaning in close, “I bet if we hurry, she might make some while you’re there.”
“Let’s go!”
Fluttershy recoiled at the memory, gasping at how vivid it was. She tried to slam her eyes shut, but the memories kept flooding in.
“That food was delicious,” signed Fluttershy.
Her mother laughed. “You’re getting better, but be more careful; you’re confusing ‘food’ with ‘word’. It’s only one hoof for food, remember?”
“How do you remember all of these, Momma?”
“It’s my special talent,” she replied, gesturing toward her flank. “Who knows, maybe it’ll be yours too.”
Fluttershy shook her head. They just kept coming. How could I have felt so safe with that Beast?
“Momma, will you read to me?”
“Of course! Do you want me to start over, or keep going?”
“Keep going! I wanna hear more about Yuna!”
“Okay, okay. Settle down.” Empty Sound picked up the old book, flipping through the pages. Eventually, she settled on a spot a little over halfway through.
“The Chamber was glowing with the faint light of pyreflies, with the Fayth casting a bluish tint to the world around them. As Yuna prayed, a translucent, ghostly pony rose from the ornately carved floor.
“The purple unicorn stood up, revealing a golden wheel on her flank. She staggered slightly, as if just awakening. Her eyes were hollow and black, far too old for her filly body. They spoke of lives lost, lies told, and lifetimes lived, and yet they burned on through the ages.
“Then the Summoner stopped her prayers and walked towards the apparition, but the filly refused to acknowledge her. Instead, it floated over to Tidus. It spoke with a beautiful, terrible voice. It was wise, yet hollow at the same time.
“It said, ‘We’re so tired. Let us stop dreaming.’
Then Fluttershy realized the irony of her mother’s “name”. She was an animal caretaker, so what business did she have in fearing beasts? Capital letters or not, an animal is an animal, and that will never change.
Cleon was right, but now she had to prove it.
Empty Sound gazed at the fire, her thoughts as turbulent as the flames that warmed her. She was lucky to have this much tonight. In most places she hadn’t even gotten a meal. Even her ex-husband had shown her the door with little more than a hello. That wasn’t the worst part, either.
Nopony, not a single one, was willing to help her find Fluttershy. Everypony she asked had done the same thing: they would look at her, drink in her age and dishevelled appearance, and then they would keep walking. They dismissed her as an old loon. Maybe that’s all I am.
She took her gaze from the fire, the ghosts of its image burned into her vision. She looked up, expecting to see Luna’s sky, but instead saw naught but thunderclouds. Consulting her map, she saw that there was a town nearby. She could probably make it by the end of the night.
Empty Sound kicked dirt in the fire, not trusting the rain to put it out. As the fire sputtered into silence, the determined mare marched for Ponyville.
Twilight stood at the shore, her eyes fixed outward. The smell of fish and salt tickled her nose as the ocean breeze drew in the moist coastal air. The water brushed against her hooves as the swells moved back and forth across the shore. Gulls were calling above her, their besital squabbles filling the air with noise.
Twilight braced herself as the wind picked up. The gusts threatened to tip her into the salty waters. The waves grew in size, sweeping sand away from her hooves. As she stumbled on the shifting ground, the unicorn saw an enormous wave approach the shore.
A gigantic blue wall towered over her, blocking out the sun in its immeasurable height. It roared ever closer to her until suddenly, it broke. Foam filled its top as water came pouring down by the gallon. Twilight was quickly swept away into the murky depths.
She kicked and swam, trying to remember which way was up. Already her lungs had begun to burn. Her world slowly grew darker as she struggled against the current. As a last resort, she lit her horn, attempting to teleport away. Instead, she gasped in pain, bringing a torrent of brine into her already pained lungs. Twilight could feel the world fading. It darkened and began to fall away.
But suddenly she felt a pressure on her back. The surface seemed to get closer and closer, until miraculously, she breached the shimmering barrier.
Twilight rolled over, staggering to her hooves. A foul stench filled the ocean air as she wretched bile and brine. Something sharp gripped her shoulder, but she refused to look as she continued to sputter and cough.
Eventually, she recovered, but what happened next was a large series of confusion.
First of all, she was on land. It would seem that a vast plateau had risen from the ocean. The damp, brown earth was almost spongy in quality. Even for a dream, this was rather strange.
Secondly, she knew that she was dreaming. That was especially odd. The world felt real, but she had no idea how she’d gotten there. She remembered the spell circle, and that strange dream with Fluttershy, and then... nothing. It had to be a dream.
Strangest of all, however, was the large gryphon standing over her. His eyes seemed to dig into her, analyzing each detail about her. The brown orbs matched the color of his feathers, which were an unusually dark shade of brown. The effect was only more imposing with the backlight of the sun accenting his features. It seemed as if he was on fire.
He spoke, shocking her with his deep voice.
“Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight was baffled at how much those two words seemed to communicate. He obviously knew who she was, and that gleam to his eyes suggested some hint of wisdom. The collar around his neck was obviously of importance to him; perhaps it was a social indicator of some sort. The slight swagger to his step showed that he knew what he was doing, but it was only slight. It was definitely his first time, either ever, or for a very long time. But the real question was, what was he so confident about?
“Are you Twilight Sparkle?” the gryphon repeated.
Twilight staggered back to her hooves and bore herself in what she hoped was an intimidating manner. “Y-yes,” she said, cursing her stutter.
“Oh good!” he said, relaxing his posture. “For a moment there I thought I’d wandered into the wrong dream again.” The gryphon stretched like a cat as his wings extended from his sides. “I hope I never meet that pink monster. Her dreams are...” He shuddered.
“If I know who you mean, then I don’t think she’d hurt you,” Twilight responded, before realizing what had been said. “Wait, did you just say ‘wrong dream’? How can you be in my dream? That’s not possible!”
“Great,” the gryphon sighed. “Well, she did warn me. Anyhow, I’m Brother Cleon, and I believe we have a lot to talk about. If I’m right,” Cleon said, analyzing the position of the sun, “Fluttershy should be here fairly soon, but I’ll start my explanation now, if you’d like.”
“How can you be in my dream?” she asked, slowly backing away.
“Ah, I’m just hitching a ride on your psychic connection to Fluttershy.” He shrugged. “I can explain that too.”
“Psychic connection?”
Cleon paused for a moment, considering what he should say. “So you really have no idea, do you? Oh well. Let’s start with that failed spell of yours. The explanation is both simple and long. Three things prevented you from completing i—”
“How do you know about that?” Twilight shrieked.
“Just trust me,” the monk said, taking a step closer, “I can explain everything.
“Anyhow, back to the failed spell. Three things stopped it. First, you forgot to take into account that there might be a magical defense system where Fluttershy was. The projections of her were a direct result of that, because our system casts a counterspell based on the strongest willpower within a certain radius.
“Secondly—wait, you learned magic from Celestia, right?”
“Yes,” Twilight said, slowly nodding.
“That explains your next two errors then. You see, Celestia tends to skip over a very important part of magical theory, so that she can promote raw ability. It’s called the Wide-Scope Theorem. Basically, it describes where you can, and can’t, mix different types of magic. It’s been a specialty of mine ever since I took up training.”
“Wait, gryphons can use magic?” Twilight asked, honestly confused.
Cleon sighed. “Not directly, but we can practice it through alternative means. For instance, we can store the energy in crystals, or convert it from the natural energies around us. Both of those take time, so I tend to devote myself to the theoretical aspects. Now, can I finish, or not? This is very important to you.”
Twilight nodded.
“Good. Anyhow, part of the Wide-Scope Theorem describes certain magical Purities: Black Magic, Chaotic Magic, White Magic, and Natural Magic. When you try to mix these Purities, there are catastrophic failures. Each of these break down into Dark, Blood, Light, and Elemental, respectively. For these, you can mix anything except opposites. You can’t mix Blood with Elemental, or Light with Dark.
“The problem you faced was two-fold. First, you cast a Blood Magic spell. On its own that would be fine, but you also used an Elemental spell-circle, to retain the excess energy. When the spell was cut off, the Elemental energy flooded into the spell, and it backlashed inside of you. That’s what caused the extreme pain.
“The second part was the fact that you bear an Element of Harmony. You see, these are some of the few Purities left in Equestria. Each one represents a different aspect of Natural Magic. Generosity is water, honesty is earth, loyalty is fire, kindness is air, and laughter is quintessence. Magic, however is different. I imagine you already knew this.
“The Element of Magic does not represent all magic, nor does it represent an Elemental Magic. Your Element represents Natural Magic itself; it’s a Purity. When you were tied to this Element, all Chaotic Magic was forever sealed off for you.”
Twilight screamed. Something inside of her snapped. Days of built up fury and frustration poured out onto the only available target: Cleon. “You invade my mind, chastise me, and lie about where my friend is, and then you expect me to sit here while you tell me I can’t practice magic!? HOW DARE YOU!”
Then, Twilight felt a hoof tap her shoulder. She spun around in a whirlwind of anger, only to see the sweet face of Fluttershy.
“This isn’t real,” Twilight recited. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real.”
Fluttershy, turned towards Cleon, a hint of anger in her eyes. “What did you do? Why didn’t you wait for me, like we agreed? Why couldn’t you have been gentle? She’s been through so much lately, and she doesn’t need you to make it worse.” Twilight’s chanting continued in the background, emphasizing the pegasus’ point. “Now tell me, what have you done? ”
Cleon took a green gem from the folds of his wing. “Believe me, Fluttershy, she will recover.” Placing the gem onto Twilight’s head, the gryphon stepped back. “I’m sorry about this Twilight, but when we came, we were only delaying the inevitable. I charged this with a memory spell, so you should know everything you need when you wake up. Just remember, Earth comes before Water, and the tide comes before the flood.”
“Do you even know what you’re saying all the time?” Fluttershy asked as the two began to fade.
“Usually,” the gryphon replied.
Then the plateau disappeared, and the water rushed to fill the void.
Twilight sputtered awake, continuing to choke on the dream-water. When she managed to stop her choking, she laid in her bed, the stench of her own sweat surrounding her and wafting through the air. Her chest heaved furiously as she struggled for each breath.
After some time, Twilight managed to calm herself. She realized three things. First of all, it had been only half an hour since she had last woken—which she knew because of a very cleverly styled candle, with lines marking every fifteen minutes of burn-time. Second, Spike was still at Sugarcube Corner with the others.
The third realization was the most unsettling: Twilight couldn’t feel her horn. Not that she ever could feel it, per say. There were no nerve endings to feel it with in a physical sense. Before now, there had always been a slight tingle at its base, where her magic naturally focused itself, but now it was gone. The light that she could normally “see” was no longer there. It was as if somepony had put out a candle. One moment there was a glow—faint, but present—and the next it was gone.
Twilight grabbed a quill, struggling to write with her teeth. The Void is inside me, and upon magic it shall feed. The trials Five, can save my life. Honesty, and Water, then Air, Fire and Laughter. The trials Five can stop the worst, but only if Fluttershy passes them first.
Cleon stared at the green stone. His talon moved gingerly along its engraved surface, brushing against the crimson and hold cloth. How can I wear this? How could I take your place?
He was fully aware when the door creaked open, but he gave it no heed. It was not until he heard the timid mare clear her throat that he turned towards her. She looked dreadful, as he probably did himself. Her mane and feathers were muddy, her eyes red, and her face wet. She only said three words, but they had more force than he would have imagined.
“What was that?”
Is this how you would handle it?
“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he flatly replied, placing the pendant back on his desk. “If you mean this, it has quite the story. Would you like to hear it?”
“No.” She looked angry. Perhaps this wasn’t my best plan. “What I want to hear is why you left me in a dark cellar and invaded my dreams.”
Or maybe not. “As far as the cellar ,” he spat, “is concerned, it’s part of a thousand-year-old tradition to purge your psyche of interfering influences. The dream, however, requires a long and boring story. You truly wouldn’t want to hear it.”
“Stop. I don’t care how it happened, Cleon.” Fluttershy stamped forward, her ears flattening. “I want to know why ”
Drat. “Very well then. Not so long ago, I passed these same trials. Because I did rather well, my late mentor took me under his wing. For years I helped in his studies, hardly leaving his side. Then, about three years ago, we discovered a curious phenomenon: Chaotic magic was growing at a much more rapid rate.
“He took this on as his legacy; he grew obsessed. Eventually, he got so depraved that I fled to my own researches, if only to get away from his madness . Soon afterwards, he passed on. That was three months ago. I never got to tell him that I found a possible lead. He died a hopeless soul.
“Then you appear, an Element of Harmony, incarnation of Aerial Magic herself. That same night I had been drafting a letter to Celestia, requesting immediate assistance. Even with our Houses’ feud, she could hardly refuse. I never sent it. I took it as a sign from the heavens that you had arrived; I thought you were going to help me restore balance to this world. Then the defense grid went berserk, and the Element of Magic lost her powers. Now, one of the few who could help me is a magic-deprived lunatic. Does that answer your question?”
Fluttershy blinked. “No.”
“Strange. Perhaps that will give you something to think on during the next Trial.” Cleon put the pendant over his neck, draping the loose ends behind his shoulders. “For now, though, you sleep.”
Cleon felt the familiar surge of magic flow outwards—from the gem out into his talons. He touched Fluttershy’s forehead, releasing a burst of green light. The mare collapsed.
I hope I’m right to trust her... Can you see me, Archelaus?
I knew they wouldn’t like it.
Pinkie glanced from friend to friend. Each of them looked shocked, though their reactions did vary.
Spike and Dashie both had looks of pure rage on their faces. Neither took her idea kindly, but they could not find the words to deny its validity.
Then there was Rarity. Her steadfast gaze locked onto Pinkie, sadness only showing in the tear-tracks down her face. Pinkie was unsure if she was merely steeling herself, or if she had gone into some sort of shock.
Applejack was the only one who looked accepting of it. Perhaps she’d had the same thoughts herself, but in the end it didn’t matter.
“Come again?” asked Rarity.
Pinkie sighed, feeling her mane begin to droop once more, as it was so often doing these days. “I said we can only help one of them at a time. We know where Fluttershy is, more or less. So why don’t we go after her first?”
“We have no idea where she is,” stated Dashie.
“But we do,” Pinkie countered. “Twilight was taking notes during the spell. With Spike’s background knowledge and a little intuition, I’m sure we can figure it out.”
“And if we can’t?” asked Spike, hope dancing in his eyes.
“Then we help Twilight as best we can.” I just know that I’m right. Trust me, girls.
“Ah think that’s a great idea,” Applejack put in.
“Well it’s a good thing some pony likes this. Or are you just abandoning Twi?” accused Dashie.
“Why Ah nev—”
Suddenly, the group heard a knocking at the door.
“Coming!” Pinkie yelled, bouncing over the table.
Why couldn’t I have bought an umbrella?
Empty Sound was soaked. It had been raining for the past few miles, and she needed to rest. The lights in town were the only thing keeping her going. The thought of a warm fire drove her forward the entire way.
Eventually she found herself near the town’s square. Looking around her, there were relatively few places with the lights on. It had looked so much brighter from the hilltop. I suppose this one will do, she thought, walking up to a strange looking home. Maybe not... What right-minded person makes their house out of candy anyways?
No. I have to stay somewhere, so it might as well be with other madponies.
She raised her hoof and knocked at the door.
Then she waited...
and waited...
and waited...
Why are their lights on if they won’t answer a door? That’s just common decency!
Empty Sound tried again, knocking a bit louder this time. Almost immediately the door slammed open revealing a pink blur. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but then she saw it wasn’t a blur —even if it was moving fast enough to be one—but a pony.
“Why are you outside so late?” the pink blur asked. “Don’t you know that it’s dark and raining? Besides, I’ve never seen you in town before, so that means you’re new, and if you’re new then you must not have any friends, and if you don’t have any friends that must mean you’re lonely; oh my gosh you should come inside! Where are my manners? My name is Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie pulled the older mare in as Empty Sound tried to wrap her head around what had just happened. Someone cared... She wants to help me...
The next thing she knew, Empty Sound was in a large room. A single table lay in it’s center, the rest having been put away. It seemed to be some sort of bakery.
Three ponies sat at the table. A white unicorn with tears still flowing, a blue pegasus with a crazy rainbow mane, and an orange earth pony with a strange hat.
Pinkie planted herself in between the lonely mare and the small gathering. “These are my friends, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack,” she said, pointing to the unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony respectively. “Girls, this is... I’m sorry, what was your name?”
“I’m Empty Sound.”
Then the pink blur moved again. “OH MY GOSH! That’s such a sad name... I know, can I call you Melody? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?”
Empty Sound flinched, unsure of what to say. It’s been so long. How am I supposed to react to this?
As it turned out, she didn’t have to. The blue pegasus—Rainbow Dash, remember that —stood up. “Pinkie, get away from her.”
“But wh—”
“I said, get away from her ,” the pegasus yelled. “Get away from that monster!”
Author's Note
As you've probably heard, this is now on an update schedule. I plan to do this every Tuesday, but I might end up editing some weeks instead of writing, so be warned. In the meantime, please feel free to criticize this chapter. I think I need it, because I feel like I lost connection with the characters in my little break.that way...)
Twilight was alone in the dark. The area felt somehow familiar, but there was no light to see it by, only the hard ground beneath her hooves.
If only I had my magic , she thought. Then I could at least see where I am.
But alas, she only had touch and sound to deal with the surrounding area. Even then, sound was constantly trying to trick her. She could hear water dripping all around her, echoing off some distant surface. It was almost like drowning all over again.
After hours of wandering this strange, dark world, she saw a light. It was very dim, and it seemed to flicker in and out, but it was light !
Twilight felt herself speed up the closer she got. She felt compelled towards the light, by some strange ethereal force. That journey stopped, however, when she hit the large crystal in front of her.
The gem was magnificent, like nothing she had ever seen. A great purple jewel stood before her, emitting light from a dozen different places within it. Four lights, however, were far brighter.
In the bottom, a yellow light pierced through, spreading a strange shade of sunrise throughout the chamber. Opposite to that was a deep blue. It was so dark it was almost black, yet, the light it emitted was somehow just as intense.
On the right, there was a green light that peeked through the surrounding gem, barely piercing the surface. It looked so delicate, but gave the feel of a sturdy boulder. Opposite of that was a red beam.
This one was different. It had no fixed brightness. It fluctuated and faded, only to come back twice as strong, and then fade away once more. Even at its dimmest, however, it seemed to overpower the green light. When it grew brighter, Twilight could feel a great tension in the air around her.
"Do you like it?" someone said.
Twilight jumped, quickly turning around to face this new foe. But when she turned, the light faded away.
"W-who are you?" she stuttered.
"I've had many names over the years," the voice droned, almost like it was reading a script. "Some called me Orion, some called me Doctor, and even more still called me God." Twilight heard a sigh. "If you ask me, they were all fools. They seemed to believe I could change things, rather than merely watch it happen. It's rare I get to interfere even this much."
"But what do you call yourself?" asked Twilight, her rational mind beginning to return.
"Isn't that a tricky question?” the voice responded, suddenly coming from the opposite direction. "I suppose that if you must have a name for me, it could be Omega," he said, as hornlight revealed his features.
Cleon sat in the mess, sipping at his tea. He had never really cared for the brew, as it was much too bitter, but it helped him think. He needed to do that a lot lately.
Steam rose off the clay mug, bringing with it the herbal aroma of its source. The little clouds constantly shifted through the near-empty room. Cleon felt himself being drawn in. He couldn’t stop staring at the dark brew.
He remembered a night, long ago, when he hadn’t felt quite so wicked. It had been a gloomy day, much like this one.
Cleon slinked around the corner, keeping his thin body tight against the wall. This was one of the few times that starving helped you, he had come to realize. He could feel spittle coming off of his tiny beak, the aroma of fresh bread and herbs filling his nostrils.
Sticking to the shadows, he slowly stalked over to the window. The inside was a kitchen, by the looks of things. At the very least it was where they left the bread to cool for those who worked through the night.
The gryphon slipped through the window, landing with hardly a noise. He could hardly resist the sweet smell of the fresh bread, so he stopped trying to. He tore into the first loaf that he could find, eating it with a ferocity only the starving can have. Soon the whole loaf was gone, and he moved on to another.
“You don’t need to sneak around, you know,” an old voice wheezed from behind him. “We would have given it to you, had you only asked.”
Cleon ignored the voice, continuing to focus on the bread.
“If you want, you could stay here the night. We have plenty of extra room.”
That got his attention. The young gryphon looked up from his feast, slowly turning about. It had been so long since somepony had trusted him. He had to see the face of whoever this fool was.
What he saw, however, surprised him. A very old, but no less regal, gryphon stood before him. His wizened face held only trust, not the condescension of those who he’d seen in the past.
“I,” Cleon began, trying to find his voice. “I’d like that.”
“My name is Archelaus,” the monk said. “But what is yours, boy? It’s not like I can call you ‘boy’ all the time.”
For the first time in ages, Cleon grinned.
His grin didn’t last for long however. He soon snapped back to the harsh reality around him. His tea had long stopped steaming, rendering the brew undrinkable. He scowled at the mug, sliding it across the table, only to be stopped by the monk who now sat there.
“Master, the Cloistered Council requests your presence.”
"I'm afraid I'll have to refuse. I have a very time sensitive project of moment," Cleon stated, the half-truth spilling from his beak. After all, that sleep spell won't last forever, even if I did overdo it.
"I understand, Master, but I was told to bring you no matter the circumstance. I'm afraid you must come with me."
"Fine. Take me to them," Cleon replied, so I can finally put them back in their place, just as Master Archelaus did before me.
"Dashie!" the pink blur yelled, astonished at her friend's outburst. "You've never even met Melody before. How could you know if she's a monster or not?"
Meanwhile, Empty Sound stood silently, absorbing her newest denouncement. She looked as if her heart had been shattered—and not for the first time, either.
"I must say, Rainbow, that is quite rude of you," put in the unicorn.
Empty Sound felt her flank hit the ground.
“Now hold on a minute,” the earth pony exclaimed. “Ah don’t know what’s going on, but maybe we should hear 'er out.” Then she turned towards Rainbow Dash, worry overtaking her now-usual sternness. “I want ya to consider this before ya say anything. Ya might have the wrong pony. This is a serious accusation, Rainbow. Ya can’t just make it willy-nilly.”
Rainbow Dash trotted right up to Empty Sound and snarled, barely raising her voice, “You think I don’t know who you are? You think I haven’t seen your picture? You disgust me.” A look of pure hatred filled the blue mare’s eyes as she turned away. “Did you know she used to sleep with a picture of you every night, so she’d dream of you coming home? I had to wake her up from her nightmares almost every night. Her nightmares about you,” she said, turning back, “they all came true. You never came home, and you did something horrible enough to not deserve to.”
Then they all saw the tear tracks running down Empty Sound’s eyes. Rarity decided to speak up. “Rainbow, my dear, maybe we should go a little easy on her. I’m sure whatever it is—”
“No !” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Do you really not get it? That’s The Beast. That’s her mother. What else could she have meant by ‘The Beast is out’ ?”
“Well, like Ah said, Ah don’t know much about this,” the orange pony said, trotting over. “Ah did just find out about it, after all, but Ah do know this: ponies come here for a fresh start, another chance.” She put her hoof around Empty Sound. “And that’s exactly what we’re gonna give ‘er.”
Archelaus stood on the balcony, a large storm darkening the monk's silhouette. He almost seemed to blend into the dark clouds of this rare, naturally-occurring storm. His apprentice stood next to him, no longer a cub, or even a wildling, but a graceful Brother himself. A silence went between them, deeper than any conversation, and only broken by the rain in the distance.
"A storm approaches, from the east," Archelaus stated.
Cleon stared at him, once more questioning the old monk's sanity. "But Master, the storm is in the west."
Archelaus turned to him, suddenly dead serious. His face looked more like stone than feathers. "Storms take many forms, Cleon. To rule, you must see them, navigate their treacherous winds. So far you have served this House well, and you will continue to do so, I'm sure, but this must be learned. Now, what is the storm in the east? That is what you should be asking."
Cleon was baffled. Nothing had been happening lately, not anything important, anyhow. The solstice was approaching, but that was all he could think of.
"What could it be, Master? You've finally gotten the Council under control, people are rejoicing across the land for the solstice, and we celebrate our 793rd year of peace with Celestia. What could be turbulent in a time like this?"
His master turned aside, gazing at the storm once more. "Just an old bird's gut. Mark my words, something will happen soon, and it will be in the east. I just know it. Now go have some fun for once. Not even the heir to House Cleos can be serious all the time, even if Cleon Cleos sounds like fate at work."
Strangely enough, that was the same year that the Elements were reactivated. He never did let that go, Cleon reflected. Every night it was, "remember that lucky guess, Cleon? Always trust your gut."
Still, he was right about one thing: storms take many forms. What kind of storm is this?
Cleon shook his head in attempt to remove these rattling thoughts. He needed his full attention for the task ahead. Even as the large, oaken doors creaked open, he felt a tension grow in his stomach and wings.
Cleon pawed at the green pendant, which had replaced his usual silver chain. The last time I was here...
He shook his head once more, before gazing ahead through the doors.
The interior was very sparse, but it still held all you might expect. In the center of the room, there was a large dias. Surrounding it were five raised seats, with a simple barrier between the seats and the dias. Like the walls, it was circular.
Cleon stepped in, hearing the doors snap shut behind him. That's strange. Was there a change in power? he thought as he noticed their new seating arrangement.
In the central seat, which was pained pure white, was a small unicorn. His green coat and strange, white mane gave him a much older appearance than he actually was. His name is Nexus, Cleon recalled. Didn't he focus on conversion spells? Or was it transport?
To the right of Nexus was an earth pony. His brown coat blended quite well with the green chair he occupied, but he was also the oldest of the group. He has a very strong support of tradition. That could be problem, later on.
On the far right, in the blue chair, was a gryphon. She had a wicked temper, as Cleon recalled, but never acted outside her jurisdiction. If she thought something was out of her control, it immediately became that way. What was her name? Alta?
On the far left, a pegasus sat the black chair. Aero Blitz. I wonder how he made it here, Cleon thought. At least the fool only holds the dark seat. There was never much power there, only an empty title.
Between Aero Blitz and Nexus, however, was what interested him most. The red seat was unoccupied, leaving a gap in their precious council. Either Cleon was early, or someone was late.
Empty Sound walked into the dimly lit room, allowing her eyes to adjust to the quaint interior. Before her was a bed. A thick, green quilt, with a red apple at the center, covered it. Two feather pillows sat at its head.
"Well, what're 'ya waitin' for, an invitation?" asked Applejack.
Actually, yes, she thought, before saying, "I'm just not sure about this. Your friend seemed pretty angry."
Applejack sighed. "There never was any contollin' RD, but Ah suppose Ah can understand. But look here: as long as yer on Sweet Apple Acres, yer under my protection." Empty Sound felt herself relax a little, before she heard, "But this isn't a free ride. Ya still hurt my friend, and even if ya paid yer time for it, Ah still can't trust ya completely. As long as ya listen to me, though, you'll be fine. Just don't leave the farm."
Is this how she treats all her guests? I suppose I deserve it, but still, I've never even met her! "Okay," she meekly responded.
Applejack walked through out the door, once more, calling, "And don't forget, yer helpin' with the farm tomorrow. We get up nice and early. Hope ya like pancakes."
Twilight Sparkle stared at the strange figure before her. She'd never expected to see another one, not after all the damage it had caused. But, regardless of her expectations, there it was: a draconequus.
Author's Note
FEEDBACK!
Celestia stared at the moon, at its pure, unmarred face. The scars had long faded from its clean surface, but their memory would never leave her. If she focused, she could still see the faintest outline, a slight darkening in a sea of light. Maybe it was just her imagination. She would never know for sure.
Her gaze shifted elsewhere, to the stars. A curious sensation washed over her, as she felt her awareness expand. Details came into focus, revealing intricacies that her day could never match. She saw galaxies swirling around their centers. She saw the planets and moons and stars. She’d never had a memory for their orbits, not like her sister.
“‘Tis unhealthy to dwell on the past, dear sister.”
Celestia sighed. Even after a thousand years she can still sneak up on me.
“No, it isn’t,” she replied, “but one does need to review their errors. Could I get a second opinion, Lu?”
“Of course,” said Luna. “Nothing could make us happier.”
“Well, a thousand years ago, your actions inspired a cult. It wasn’t anything that you could’ve prevented—after all, how could you have known that denying a gryphon business would incite rebellion? The point is, I could have stopped them. I could have stopped them when they celebrated your Descent, when they used it as evidence towards their foalish cause.
“The problem is, had I stopped them, we would never have discovered many of the more advanced forms of magic. What should I have done? What could I have done? I tried to act against my anger, and yet I still feel it boiling within me. A century of rebellion in exchange for immeasurable advance; was that the right move?”
“Why do you ask?” her sister probed.
“Because I’ve seen that counterspell before.”
Pinkie loved it when it rained. It wasn’t the extra customers that tried to warm up, or the thunder that scared everypony. It wasn’t the water that gathered in the street, or the lightning that arced across the sky. No, the rain always seemed to bring energy into the world. It was as if life had a sugar rush, and that was something she could understand.
The pounding on the roof brought a steady rhythm to her work as she dashed around the kitchen. Have to go fast. They’re almost here.
And indeed they were. The others were on their way to meet her. Everypony was concerned, but with their new worry, they now had to work together. Something had to be done—first about Twilight, and then they could find Fluttershy.
A crack of thunder pealed through the air as Pinkie took her cupcakes out of the oven. As the wind whistled against the bakery, she found herself swaying with the trees. The drumming rain pounded a pulsating rhythm into her mind. A shiver ran down her spine as a gust brought in the moist, chill air.
We really ought to get that draught fixed , she thought.
A ringing came from the doorway, alerting Pinkie that one of her friends had arrived. She rushed from the kitchen to find that Spike was just inside, his purple scales glistening from the rain. She’d never noticed them being so shiny before! They looked like opals, like wet grapes, like... What do they look like? she thought. Is there a word for it?
Pinkie shook her head to clear these stray thoughts. Her mind had been all over the place lately, and while that seemed to reassure her friends, Pinkie couldn’t help but worry. What if she messed something up? What if Twilight got hurt even more?
Then she saw his eyes. The emerald orbs glistened with water—but not rain. The rest of his face was blank and expressionless, the easiest giveaway of somepony fighting back their tears. He was trying to be brave, to be strong. Why can’t he just be honest about it? she wondered. Does he think he has to be strong for us?
She gripped the dragon in a wordless embrace. At first Spike resisted, but then he melted in her warmth. Pinkie could feel him breaking down, giving into his sorrow. As the water soaked into her fur, the pink mare felt herself give a slight shiver, but she knew she had to stay. Something had to be done but this was the pain of Laughter: sometimes a joke can’t help.
“I simply detest this rain!” wailed Rarity as she walked through the door. “Why on earth must they schedule a storm this... Spike, darling, are you alright?”
Spike broke his grip on Pinkie, only to latch onto his love. By this point he was weeping openly. At least she can help him. ..
Pinkie felt her mane beginning to flatten out, and immediately searched for a distraction. Her gaze frantically swept the room, taking in all the details in swift succession. A cake lay on the table, a red balloon in the corner, a blue streamer hung from the ceiling. Wait, a red balloon? When did I put that there? Red doesn’t go with blue, silly Pinkie. Aw, but it’s such a shiny balloon, too. Maybe I should take out the ribbon. Hm... blue fits the theme, but red is shiny! Maybe I have a red ribbon? That could work.
“Don’t worry, Spikey-wikey. We’re going to fix everything,” Rarity cooed.
But why would I use yellow frosting? I hate yellow cakes! It’s so hard to match anything to it. I mean, you could do flowers, or dress it up like Fluttershy, but it just doesn’t look right. Yellow! What was I thinking? These colors are all over the place! Where’s the pattern? Where’s the thought?
“And I’m tellin’ ya, Dash, that ain’t gonna work without magic! We need Twi first, then we can help.”
Wait, when did they get here?
“Well what do you want me to say?” retorted Rainbow Dash. “It’s not like she—I don’t know—gave up her magic to try and get Flutters back. Are you saying we should just give up on that?”
The four others were gathered around the table. Applejack—apparently the most recent arrival—was dripping water onto the floor. The arguing pair both had their forehooves on the table as Spike shrank back in fear. Rarity’s eyes were bloodshot and pink, with tear stains in their corners.
“Then how do we find ‘er? All we got is Twi. She was in ‘er head, remember?”
“Stop!” wailed Rarity. “All of this nonsensical bickering is utterly pointless! What’s the point of arguing over something we don’t even know how to do?”
“I have an idea,” stated Pinkie, “but you won’t like it.”
A beautiful lake filled Twilight’s vision. The shining blue water stretched to the edges of the world. Unknown to her, it was the very same lake that Applejack had gone to for so many years.
The world was overcast with a bright white glow, yet not a star was in the dark night sky. The leaves whispered behind her, but when she turned to look, Twilight only saw an impenetrable fog. The mists swirled and condensed in an ever-shifting pattern. It called to her, beckoning in a language beyond language. As she stared, Twilight began to make out a shadow in the mist. Suddenly, the mists parted, and Fluttershy burst forth from within them.
She landed at the edge of the lake, retaining a dainty grace even in her frantic state. A light dust cloud billowed around her as she touched the ground. The pegasus collapsed to the ground, a hollow sob bursting from her throat. Tears made ripples on the ethereal surface of the water. Then she swiftly turned her head, revealing the empty pits that had replaced her eyes. They drilled into Twilight’s very soul, carving a deep pain into her. She felt a vast cavern open inside her soul, a void of emotion that drained the joy even from memory.
Those dark openings drew in light, casting a dark shadow around Fluttershy. The shadow could only be described as one thing: pain. Its very presence killed the plants around it. Yet in its steady presence, there seemed to be something else, the barest hint of light. It flickered like a candle, winking in and out of existence.
Twilight felt hope flutter in her chest as the pegasus opened her mouth to speak.
“The Beast is out,” her hollow voice echoed, “and someday the dream must end.”
“Why?” yelled Twilight. “Why does it need to end? Live the dream, if you think that’s what this is! Live the dream, because as long as we’re here, it’s a life worth dreaming!”
Fluttershy rose, repeating, “Someday the dream must end. Let me stop dreaming.” Then she began a solemn march into the water, slowly sinking into its depths.
“What do you mean?” the unicorn yelled, running after her friend. The distance, however, only seemed to increase.
“I’m so tired. Let me wake up,” she said, barely above a whisper. Then she disappeared into the water. Twilight screamed, trying to teleport to her friend, but instead she collapsed in a heap. Her magic was still gone. The fog began to close around her.
A loud crack woke Twilight as lightning flickered in the stormy skies. She sighed. Another dream about her. At least the last one was comforting, but this... What could it mean? That last one was so vivid, but this one was obvious. I suppose “the dream must end”. I feel like she was quoting somepony... I wonder who.
Hi.
I want to apologize for the incredibly long wait, but I hope you'll understand why.
About 6 months ago, the original inspiration for this story passed away. Empty Sound killed herself, while in solitary confinement for her own protection.
I can't say I'm sad, nor that I'm sorry. She did terrible things, both to me, and the rest of her family. Dealing with that, and all the stress of school, and now work, has taken nearly all of my time.
This story originally started as a way to express my fears, my doubts. Fluttershy was the version of me that I was afraid of becoming, placed in the situation I was most afraid of—Empty Sound being released on parole. It was a way to bring a character to life that I had dreamed of for a long time, in a way that would help me heal.
I'm no longer sure I need this. But, if you would like, I can try one more time.
