Crude Misconceptions

by NintendoGal55

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Comedy, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Applejack
Length: 6872

Rainbow Dash completely misunderstands certain words to write in a love letter

Rainbow Dash wants to write a love letter to Fluttershy, but has no idea what certain sexual terms mean. When she asks Applejack and Pinkie Pie what they mean, they decide to mess with her by telling her that the words are innocent. Hilarity ensues. But the two Earth ponies know exactly what they're doing...

Published 2012-11-02 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-02 02:40:01 UTC

The Letter

This was a funny little idea I had inspired by a fanfic I read a LONG time ago.

But as well as that, Souldin's interpretation of Rainbow Dash being sexually oblivious, as well as what he's got so far in his epic fanfic, Magnetism!, just inspired me. I decided to come out with this. With Rainbow Dash being oblivious to sex and other kinds of terms that relate to it.

Now, there is strong sexual language in here, but everything is implied, not explicit. So this isn't clop.

I would also like to give a HUGE thanks to FlutterDash7, who helped write this a bit and offered some suggestions! :D

Also, silveredchaos has helped give me a much better incentive for how the story's direction should go in terms of the entire prank. So I have to thank them for this, too! I did some re-writing for it and now it's a lot better, without having lost the original humour and fun of the story.

“No no no NO! That's even MORE lame!”

A crumpled up piece of paper was tossed, joining a pile tossed in or by the wastebasket. A minute or two passed, before yet another crumpled ball joined the rest, followed by frustrated groans across the room.

“I'm never gonna get this right!”

Rainbow Dash buried her face in her hooves, sighing loudly as she tried hard to think of what she could write down. But nothing was working. She sat there, a pen in her teeth, now on the table, with a piece of paper. To anypony witnessing this, she was trying to write something down, but kept screwing up, if the pile of balled up paper crumples across the room were any indication. Whatever it was, it was frustrating her.

She now stared out the window, feeling an itch to go flying. Her wings twitched, her muscles contracted, a lump formed in her throat, her heart raced, and a drip of sweat ran down her forehead.

There was a book on the table near her, with a cover depicting two mares, both of them pegasi, interlocked in a romantic embrace. It was entitled Passion Peak, a typical romance novel. Rainbow Dash borrowed it from Twilight, despite her warnings of it being an erotic novel. Next to that was a piece of notebook paper with a few words scribbled on it.

Groaning, Rainbow got off her chair, picked up her saddlebags, and placed the items from the table inside of them. She just couldn't think, couldn't write, and had to find a much better outlet. And moreover, to get a little help on how she could do all of this. But who from? Twilight was out of the question, and Rarity...she wasn't so sure about that yet, either. Especially since she didn't want to have to return the favour by being a model for her silly outfits. She did not feel up to dressing like Marie Antoinette again.

Leaving her cloud home, Rainbow Dash decided to head off toward Sugarcube Corner. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance Pinkie Pie could help. She was good at keeping secrets, and even she had some pretty good advice when you just gave her a chance. And they were good pals who always had each other's backs, so why not? Mind made up, the cyan pegasus flew swiftly into town, heading toward the bakery.

Inside the bakery, thanks to the guidance of Mr. And Mrs. Cake, Rainbow went to the kitchen to find Pinkie Pie there, working with Applejack on some baked goods. This was good too, Applejack was an honest and reliable pony, she would definitely have some good advice about certain issues. She couldn't believe her luck! This was just what she needed!

“Hi, Dashie! Glad you could come!” Pinkie Pie grinned, bouncing up to her. “So, what do you need? Some tasty yummy super duper lip-smacking delicious awesome sweet yummy tasty treats?”

“Uh...not really, no,” Rainbow Dash shook her head and sat down on her haunches, bringing her saddlebags off her back. “See, I've uh...got this problem here.”

“Well, what's up, sugarcube?” Applejack looked up from the cookbook she was reading. “What'cha need?”

“I, well...ya know...got that crush on Fluttershy and all...” Rainbow said, her voice dropping a bit a she blushed.

“Of course we do, silly filly! You told us last week! So, you're finally going to tell her?” Pinkie grinned, looking all the more excited.

“Yeah! No! ...I mean, well, I'm gonna give her a love letter! I heard that kind of thing works, right? I see it in books...sometimes! Yeah, sometimes...” Dash rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof. “I was reading this...uh...book here, I have it in my bag...DON'T tell anypony! And I found some words used in the book, but I don't know what they mean!”

“Why didn't ya ask Twilight?” Applejack queried. “Ah think she'd know!”

“I tried to,” Rainbow shrugged, “But she turned really red for some reason and told me to get a dictionary. But that'll take forever! Can't you guys help me with that?”

Pinkie nodded, “Sure, Dashie! We can help! Hee hee! I love words! Words are a lot of fun! I even like making up words! I just made one right now! Bingle snort! I don't know what it means yet, but it sounds-”

“Pinkie!” Dash interrupted, “Can you help me here?!”

“Sorry! What are the words, Dashie?”

Rainbow Dash took out the piece of notepad and her pen, “Well, I wrote them down here. I figured maybe I could use them in the letter. First up is 'orgasm'. What the hay is an orgasm?!”

Applejack's jaw dropped, and Pinkie giggled madly before winking at the other earth pony. She looked back at Rainbow, smiling widely, “It means a really really happy feeling!”

“Yeah...happy feelin'...” Applejack agreed, hiding a smile behind her hoof.

“Oh, I get it! It's a fancy term for feeling happy!” Dash realized, writing this down. “I mean, I have orgasms all the time! When I'm flying, doing tricks, when I see the Wonderbolts, when I'm eating something real good, more flying...and yeah! Fluttershy makes me feel happy, too! Awesome! I'll use that in my letter!”

Applejack and Pinkie Pie exchanged glances. Especially with Applejack now looking at her as if to say "What are you doing?!" as it all dawned on her. But Pinkie smiled in a way to assure her, and it was true. Pinkie knew exactly what she was doing. While this was indeed a great idea for a fun prank, she knew better than to think it would end up badly. If it did, she wouldn't be doing this. As it settled in, Applejack could see that and looked relieved.

When Dash wasn't looking, Pinkie made a motion for her to play along, winking at her. Understanding, Applejack winked back and nodded in confirmation.

“Okay, then there's scissoring. The book talked about the characters going to try it! What is it? It sounds like you're using scissors for something,” Dash remarked.

“Silly! It's a flight trick!” Pinkie giggled, “You fly around in the air kind of like the motion of scissors!”

Rainbow looked at Pinkie, frowning slightly with confusion, “...That's a weird flight trick. I never heard of that one before. ...But that sounds kinda neat! I'll try it! Maybe Fluttershy's heard of it...” She wrote this down as well. “Okay, next word I found is, well, it’s more than one word... It’s known as going down on somepony. What the hay does that mean? It sounds like you’re walking down somepony’s body like stairs!”

Pinkie stifled her laughter as she held her hooves to her mouth, trying to regain her self, “Oh, it means a heartfelt apology! Kind of metaphorical of getting down on your knees and apologizing!”

“Ohhh, I get it!” Rainbow Dash nodded, writing that down as well, “Now that makes more sense! I’ll definitely go down on Fluttershy...”

“Oh mah Celestia...” Applejack snickered, snorting a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Dash wanted to know.

“It’s just so funny that you’re actually doing this, Dashie!” Pinkie winked at her. “Hee hee!”

“...Right...yeah, laugh it up, chuckleheads. Anyway! Next is a lap dance. A lap dance? I thought it was weird, it sounds like you’re dancing on somepony’s lap! ...How do you do that?”

Pinkie giggled, “Nope! It’s an obscure dance you do while sitting down! Since you need your lap for it, and you don’t have your lap unless you sit down, it’s called a lap dance!” She sat down, keeping her lap out, and began to pivet her upper torso and waving her forelegs in a bit of a weird, silly dance kind of manner, “It’s like this!”

“Weird...okay! We can try something funny like that! Fluttershy would love it!” Rainbow grinned. “Okay, next is...horizontal hustle. It sounds like a flight trick!”

“Uh, it is!” Applejack put in, “You uh...kinda have ta do a hustle while flyin’ horizontally!”

“Uh-huh! And it’s super easy and basic!” Pinkie nodded rapidly at three times her speed.

“I figured! All right! Rainbow wrote that down. “It sounds like a trick Fluttershy could do! Awesome! Okay...next is some book called the Pony Kama Sutra. What the hay is that book? Anytime I heard about it, somepony laughs their head off!”

“It’s an exotic cookbook, of course!” Said the eager pink earth pony.

“Exotic is right...” Applejack snickered.

“An exotic cookbook? That’s neat, then Fluttershy and me can make some dinner with it! Nice!” The eager pegasus wrote that down as well, “Now this word, I have no idea how to pronounce, so I definitely wanted to know!” This time she held the paper out toward them to see. “It’s this one!” She pointed to one of the words.

Applejack turned bright red, rivaling the three apples on her flank, and Pinkie laughed madly.

“Oh my gosh!!! That’s...eee!! Hahaha! Cunnilingus! That’s just a fancy term for having a chat with somepony!” Pinkie Pie squealed with laughter, holding her tummy.

Dash raised an eyebrow, but wrote that down anyway, “Okay, I don’t know why that’s so hilarious, but whatever! Now what’s the sixty-nine? They called this position the sixty-nine! What the heck does that mean?!”

“It kinda means lyin’ in a position like a six an’ a nine, with yer heads bein’ the six er nine...” Applejack offered, hiding a smile behind her hoof.

“Kinda weird, but okay!” Shrugged the daredevil pony, scribbling down more notes. “This is awesome, ladies! I can definitely use all this for my love letter to Fluttershy! It’s cheesy, but she’s totally gonna love it! She likes all that cutesy romantic cheesy stuff, anyway.”

Applejack and Pinkie Pie snickered at each other, winking before turning back to their friend.

“Happy to help, Dashie!” Said Pinkie, bouncing on the spot. “And don’t you worry about a thing, we won’t tell ANYPONY, especially not Fluttershy! Pinkie Promise! Cross our hearts, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eye!” She made the hoof gestures to prove her point.

Applejack did as well, though with less gusto, “Yeah, what she said. Now go an’ win Fluttershy’s heart!”

“I will! Thanks, you guys!” Rainbow waved as she left the kitchen.

Once they were sure she left the shop, the two Earth ponies collapsed into a fit of laughter on the floor. They held their aching stomachs and sides, rolling about like a couple of fillies. Oh, it had worked. Rainbow Dash truly was sexually oblivious! How that worked, considering she was their age, neither of them knew. To think they were able to fool her with the lies or half truths of the terms she’d written down, it was priceless!

"Ah cain't believe it! This was too priceless!" Applejack hooted, managing to sit up. "So...yer really sure that it ain't gonna hurt her?"

"Of course not!" Pinkie shook her head. "I wouldn't do that to Dashie! I know exactly what I'm doing, Applejackie! It's a perfect little prank and it'll win Fluttershy's heart!"

"So...does she know about...all them sexy stuff?" The orange farm pony wanted to know, her brow furrowing.

Pinkie just smiled.

This was it.

Rainbow Dash stood outside of Fluttershy’s cottage, the letter in an envelope that she held in her mouth, trying to think of how she could go about it. Knocking on the door and giving it to her? Knocking on the door, leaving the letter for her to see, and flying out of sight? Or leaving it in her mailbox? What to do?

‘I really want this to work... I like Fluttershy a lot! But, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she’ll hate me? ...No, no, Fluttershy wouldn’t do that, no. She’s not like that! She’d just turn me down in the nicest way possible. And all I’d have to show for it would be that I was brave to tell her somehow. But best case scenario, she likes me and wants to give me a chance. Okay, Rainbow Dash! You can do this! You’ve helped defeat Nightmare Moon, Discord, and an army of Changelings! Giving the pony you have a crush on a love letter should be easy peasy!’

Taking a breath, Rainbow decided to just do it. She approached the front walk, ready to knock on the door and present it to her.

'I can do this. I'm going to do it! I'll give it right to her and hope it'll win her heart. Come on, Rainbow Dash! You're awesome! There's no way she can't like you! ...What the hay am I thinking? She can decide for herself about that. But I hope she does. I never felt this way about anypony before...she'd be so worth it! I'd...feel so lucky to have her. Anypony would be lucky to have Fluttershy. She's so kind, gentle, sweet, caring...and she has such a sweet voice, her smile lights up the room, and she's so cute! She's so adorable I could just roll over like a dog! Come on...time to give Fluttershy the love letter! I can do it!'

Rainbow Dash placed the letter onto the doorstep, knocked on the door a few times, and then took off as if there were a swarm of changelings on her trail.

“Hello?” Fluttershy opened the door, looking around the doorstep only to find no one there. “Hello? Is someone there? Who knocked?”

Being an animal caretaker, Fluttershy knew better to take a glance down toward her doorstep in the assumption that whoever knocked was surely an animal smaller than her. But instead of seeing a small creature, she instead found an envelope laying there, with her name written on it. A letter? It didn’t have a stamp or a return address, but why didn’t whoever left it there put it in her mailbox? Did that even matter?

Picking it up with her mouth, the creamy yellow pegasus went back inside and closed the door.

Going over to her table, she retrieved a letter opener, using it to tear through the envelope carefully. She produced the letter, curious to read it.

Only for her cheeks to turn bright pink before even reading the first paragraph.

Fluttershy,

I'll be honest here. I really really like you. There, I said it! I can't help it, ever since we met and have been friends, you really give me an orgasm. An orgasm so strong, I can't contain it anymore. I really want to go down on you for all those times I've been a jerk. I'll even get down on my knees and do it! You didn't deserve that at all, and I hope we can have a good cunnilingus about it, because you deserve the best.

Why don't we do dinner? Do you have the Pony Kama Sutra book? If not we can just go buy it, 'cause we'll need it! I want our night to be special, okay? Yeah, I can be sappy! So what? I want to make you orgasm!

Then after, we'll go out to watch the sunset! We can try the horizontal hustle together, that should be a lot of fun! Have you ever heard of the scissoring? I haven't until now! It sounds awesome! Then for the heck of it, we'll take turns doing lap dances! I bet I can do the best lap dance ever! We'll watch the sunset together, just you and me on a cloud. Then, we'll do the 69...yeah, weird term for that, but whatever, and we'll gaze into the stars!

So that's how I feel, okay? I really like you and I want to give us a chance! Okay, fine. I'm just gonna say it. I'm falling in love with you, okay? I really meant it when I said you give me an orgasm, and I hope you know you mean a lot to me, Flutters.

~Rainbow Dash

To say that Fluttershy was stunned would have been the understatement of the millenium. She could not believe what she had just read! To think that Rainbow Dash felt that way about her, and that strongly, no less. Fluttershy would have never expected to have inflicted such stimulation on somepony, let alone Rainbow Dash of all ponies. Cheeks red, eyes wide, she stood, almost frozen as a statue. Only her eyeballs were in motion as they scanned the letter over and over a couple of times.

“Oh my gosh....” Fluttershy uttered, placing the letter down for a moment on the table.

Angel, having been munching on a carrot, was now curious as to what his caretaker was up to, and why it seemed to knock her for a loop. When he saw her place the piece of paper on the table, he immediately leaped into action to go and see what it contained. He climbed up the chair she’d been sitting on, and then hopped onto the table to peer over the letter.

His little jaw dropped and his eyes went wide.

‘She can’t possibly....!!’

“Oh, hello there, Angel!” Fluttershy said sweetly, taking the letter and tucking it under her wing. “I...just um...have to take care of some business... I’ll be back a little later. You take care of things while I’m gone!”

Oh no, what has she gotten herself into?!

He had to stop this, but how?! Did she not realize that her blue, rainbow-maned friend wanted to molest her?! What was he supposed to do to protect her now? Angel shook his head and grabbed for Fluttershy’s tail frantically, holding her back. Reaching for the remains of his carrot, he tossed it, aiming for his caretaker's head. Successfully, it bopped the top of her head, earning a yelp of surprise.

"Angel Bunny...please, I need to go now." Fluttershy responded, her voice shaky and nervous as she tried to free her tail from the hold of his paws.

Angel was not having it. He could tell by the one of her voice that she had to be hesitant about this situation. As much as he grew to somewhat tolerate having the rainbow pony around in small doses, there was no way he was letting this happen to her. She didn't need to deal with this, he could easily just go for her. The last thing Fluttershy needed was that jerk molesting her!

Letting her tail go, he hopped around to face her, glaring up at her. The creamy yellow pony, however, looked nervous yet undeterred as she faced him.

"Angel... I know you're worried, but I need to settle this..."

Angel didn't move.

"Please?"

Shaking his head, he crossed his little arms and remained where he was.

Much to his surprise, Fluttershy gave him a look before she lifted off the floor, flying over him and out the window, closing it behind her. Angel turned, stunned. She had actually used her wings to her advantage of what he was trying to do! Because she was just that determined? Or was the influence from the rainbow one that strong? He sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter.

‘She better know what she’s doing...’

“What do you mean she's gone?!”

Spike sighed, shaking his head and letting her in anyway. “She just went to bring Pinkie Pie a cookbook she ordered. She'll be back in a bit.”

“Darn it...” Rainbow Dash slumped on the floor, shaking a bit.

“What's up, Rainbow Dash? Why are you antsy?” Spike wanted to know, closing the door.

“Did Twilight tell you that I have a crush on Fluttershy?” The cyan pegasus responded, not quite looking at him.

Eyes going wide, Spike's jaw dropped. “Say what?! No, Twilight never told me that! How come I'm always the last to know these things?!”

“...Oh, heh heh...guess I thought she'd at least tell you...” Dash said sheepishly, realizing her error. “Yeah, I admit it! Go on, I know you're just DYING to say it. Yeah, Rainbow Dash the Speed Demon, Fastest Flyer in Equestria...falls in love with the super softie sweet adorable Fluttershy! She MUST be a softie!”

“Actually, I knew you liked Fluttershy all along.” Spike said dryly, staring at her. “I'm just surprised you admitted it! The way you look at her and act around her is pretty obvious, you know. Besides, what do I care who you like? If it makes you happy, well, then go for it!”

Rainbow smiled a bit, feeling relieved, “Thanks, Spike.”

Spike grinned, “Sure thing! So, did you tell her yet? Is that why you're here?”

“Kinda. I left her a letter.”

“And? What did she think?”

“I left it at her doorstep and flew off before she answered the door.”

“Why?” Spike frowned in confusion. “Were you scared?”

“No! I was just...I wanted to give her space, that's all!” Rainbow shook her head frantically. “It’ll be a lot for her to take in, you know? One of her best friends confesses that she likes her? I’m doing her a favour! She’ll want to think it over for a while!”

Spike thought about that for a moment and then shrugged, “Well, considering Fluttershy, you’ve got a point.”

“See? That’s what I mean! So I’m gonna sit back here and wait until-”

The door suddenly flew open, revealing a wide-eyed, panting Fluttershy, as if she had just been running a marathon. Spike and Rainbow Dash jerked their heads toward her, taken aback by this sudden appearance and change in mood, neither of them saying a word or even moving. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was staring at them both, equally wide-eyed. Tucked between one of her wings, was a piece of paper.

“R-Rainbow...? Where’s...Twilight...?”

“Sugarcube Corner.” Spike answered for her.

“Uh...h-hey, Fluttershy...” Dash rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof, smiling widely in a very nervous manner. “What’s up! Nothing? Great! Same here! So I’ll just be going and-”

“Rainbow...wait...” Fluttershy stepped closer to her, blushing immensely. “I...I just...want to know something...and please...be honest with me...okay? It’s...it’s all I ask.”

Rainbow felt as if she wanted to burrow away and hide, or fly away rather, and yet, still knew that she owed her best friend that. She did come out very strongly about her feelings, which in itself is surprising, so she knew she had to do the right thing. For Fluttershy. “Oh, uh, sure! Yeah! What’s, uh, on your mind, Fluttershy?”

“I...well...I received this letter from you...” Fluttershy produced it, holding it out to her. “Did...you write it?”

Gulping, all Rainbow could do was nod.

“I knew it...it is your writing... Okay...um...now please tell me... I...” Fluttershy blushed all the more, looking down at the floor. “...Did you mean it? If...If you didn’t and you were just joking, I understand, but I just want to-”

“Of course I mean it, Fluttershy! I would never prank you like that! But I wouldn’t prank you anyway since I know you wouldn’t like that! But I...no! I wouldn’t prank somepony about feelings for them!” Dash near-shouted, overtaken by the moment at hoof. “Of course I meant what I wrote! I like you a lot, Fluttershy! I really do! I want to date you! I want you to be my special somepony! I meant every word!”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wider, if that were possible, as she stared back at her, the blush on her cheeks becoming all the more red. Rainbow Dash gulped, feeling all the more uncertain. Why had she outburst like that? What a way to confess to somepony. Especially Fluttershy. She had to have been putting way too much on her now! How could she be so inconsiderate and insensitive? Oh, what had she done? Already the guilt was eating at her gut and only grew as each moment of silence passed.

“I’m...gonna go feed my...bed...” Spike said before quickly departing the room.

Another period of silence passed, neither pegasi making any sudden movement or sound. It was as if they were either afraid to or were waiting for the other to do just that.

Rainbow Dash felt more tense. What was going to happen now? Why wasn’t Fluttershy doing or saying anything? Was it really too much for her? Her heart sank at the thought of pressuring Fluttershy into dating her and hoped it wasn’t the case. As well as that, what if she really was going to get rejected? As prepared as she was for it, it still wasn’t a favourable outcome, especially after everything.

“...Rainbow...?” Fluttershy’s soft, timid voice broke her thoughts.

Dash looked at the creamy yellow mare she crushed on, feeling her own cheeks heat up a bit, “Y-Yeah, Fluttershy? What is it...?”

A sweet smile broke out on Fluttershy’s face before she came forward and enveloped the surprised Rainbow Dash into a warm hug. This still rose a lot of questions; what did it mean? Was it out of saying she felt the same way? Was it a comforting hug to say that she was sorry and didn’t feel that way?

Either way, Dash returned it and held her close, just taking one moment to savour the wonderful feeling. Her sweet scent, the way it felt just so right to hold her, everything. If this was indeed going to be one of the last times she could ever hold Fluttershy while relishing the love she had for her, she had to make it count.

Their embrace lasted for some time, neither knew how long, but it still felt all too soon when Fluttershy pulled away and looked at her.

“I...I...I didn’t...think you felt that way about me, Rainbow... To be honest...I...well I...have always had a crush on you...and...um, well...ever since I knew about...certain things...it certainly hasn’t helped my attraction to you. I want you, too... I have for years...”

A huge, happy grin broke out on Rainbow’s face. “Really?! You do?!”

Despite how uncertain and shy she looked, Fluttershy leaned in and kissed her right on the lips. Rainbow Dash’s wings fluttered with excitement before receding at her sides. She managed to regain herself and kiss her crush back. They prolonged the kiss as it grew deeper, interlocking them in love and passion, years of pent-up tension coming into play. Fluttershy held her a lot closer, running her hooves through the prismatic mane and powerful wings.

Rainbow felt a strange jolt when Fluttershy moaned softly between kisses. It did confuse her a little, but she didn’t mind, she liked the adorable little sound. She guessed it was just Fluttershy’s way of expressing just how happy she was when she couldn’t speak. And why not? Kissing her felt wonderful! She loved it! Her wings softly fluttered open as yellow hooves traced their way through them.

A strange feeling came to her mouth, to which Dash realized that it was Fluttershy’s tongue. What was she doing? What did she want her to do? Either way, it surprised her and caused her to open her mouth amidst their kiss. Fluttershy’s tongue gently and slowly came into her mouth, touching against her own tongue and seeming to wander around her mouth, touching everywhere she could. What was she doing?

Whatever it was, Rainbow liked it and decided to play along. Maybe it was a kissing game Fluttershy wanted to try. She opened her mouth, allowing entry to the foreign object. Her eyes burst open in surprise as she tasted the shy pony’s tongue against her own. Fluttershy was being very...bold! The pretty mare looked so adorable up close and Dash found herself pulled back in by the passion of her new fillyfriend.

Pulling away, the two of them gazed at each other with bashful smiles.

Fluttershy giggled, looking at her with a loving smile. “I’d love to be with you, Rainbow... I’d love to do all those wonderful things you suggested! My answer is yes!”

“ALL RIGHT!!!” Rainbow Dash yelled out in joy, scooping up Fluttershy into a huge hug and flying her all around the library. “Aw man, Fluttershy, thanks so much! This is awesome! I promise I’m going to be an awesome fillyfriend to you, pal!”

Giggling, Fluttershy nuzzled her and then kissed her on the cheek. “And I...I promise to give our relationship my all, too... Oh, Rainbow! I’m so happy! I’m glad you’re happy, too... I...oh my...you certainly came on strongly in your letter...I didn’t think you wanted me that badly...”

“Are you kidding? I’ve wanted this for ages!” Dash admitted, setting them down onto the floor, but still holding her.

“Oooh...” Fluttershy blinked, and blushed more. “Oh my... Well Rainbow...you certainly made that abundantly clear in your letter... Well...why don’t we go back to my cottage...and...well...we could...start slow and we’ll...see where it all goes...let it evolve naturally...”

“Awesome! That sounds great!” Rainbow hugged her again, feeling more giddy. “I have an idea! Let’s have a sleepover! Then we can have fun all night!”

“Well, sure...given what we’ll be doing, a sleepover is in order...” Fluttershy smiled, nodding.

“Sweet! I’ll even help you make dinner! I mean...I’m not a good cook, but, I can help you! You know, giving you stuff, helping you chop vegetables, all that good stuff!” Dash offered, nuzzling her.

“Aww...you’re sweet to want to help me, Rainbow...thank you...” Fluttershy giggled, looking delighted. “I’d love that very much.”

“And we’ll even do the cheesy thing and light some candles! Romantic candlelight dinner! I know, I know, not like me...but for you, well, I want to do that...” Rainbow looked away with a bashful smile.

“Hee! I’ve always wanted a romantic candlelit dinner...” Fluttershy beamed.

“Great! Then it’s settled! Let’s go buy all the stuff we’ll need on the way back, okay? And that Pony Kama Sutra book, definitely!”

“Absolutely, yes. We’ll go right now and go get what we need!”

“Sounds great! Aw man, tonight’s going to be the best night ever, Fluttershy! I promise I’m going to make you feel loved...cheesy as that sounds, but I mean it!” Dash blushed more, looking away.

“Awww...” Fluttershy giggled, nuzzling her. “And you’re going to be so loved as well, Rainbow.”

“Think you can handle an all-nighter of awesome?”

“I didn’t think we’d be getting any sleep, anyway...”

Applejack and Pinkie Pie were at Sweet Apple Acres, collecting some apples to bring to Sugarcube corner to make some apple treats together. It was the day after Rainbow Dash had approached them with some help on writing a love letter to Fluttershy, and they’d taken the chance to mess with her.

“Ah wonder if she did go through with it...” Applejack mused.

“Maybe she did! Or maybe she’ll wait until later?” Pinkie Pie hopped after her, grinning. “It’s been a day now! Or, she’ll wait a week!”

“Why would she wait a week?”

“Because! A week is seven days, seven whole days that Fluttershy doesn’t expect it, and Rainbow Dash uses that to buy her time...and then...when the moment is right...will SWOOP in and sweep the enraptured Fluttershy right off her hooves and carry her off into the sunset!”

The orange farm pony just stared at her friend with a deadpan look.

Undeterred, Pinkie hopped over to a nearby apple tree, “The point is, we’ll have to wait and see what Dashie will do!”

“Ah guess so, it is her call, after all.” Applejack shrugged, trotting over to the tree, ready to get into some bucking action. “Awright, so let’s do this-”

“Hey, AJ! Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash landed in front of them, grinning widely. “Mrs. Cake said you were out here, Pinks! So I wanted to thank you guys for helping me yesterday! I wrote the love letter, finally, and gave it to Fluttershy!”

“Oooooohhhh!! And what happened?!” Pinkie asked eagerly.

“Fluttershy was so happy! It turns out, she wanted me, too! I mean, wow! She came to the library where I was, apparently about to ask Twilight if she’d seen me, but saw me there...yeah, Twilight wasn’t around, you know, and we started to talk about it. And she said she liked me too! YEAH!!”

“Well Ah’ll be!” Applejack laughed. “Good fer you, RD!”

“What happened last night?! Did you have fun?!” Pinkie asked, a glint in her eyes. “Did you get laid?!”

“You bet I got laid!” Rainbow laughed. “Aw man, last night was the BEST! On our way back, we bought the stuff we’d need, but they didn’t have the Pony Kama Sutra book...bummer. Oh well! We made do with our own improvising! After we got back to the cottage, I just went down on Fluttershy! Big time! A lot of cunnilingus was had, let me tell you! And it felt awesome! Better than I thought it would! Yeah, it was a bit tough for me at first since I had no idea what to do, but Fluttershy was so sweet to help me with it, eventually it just came on naturally and I felt a lot more comfortable after that!”

Pinkie Pie and Applejack stared at her with wide eyes, jaws dropped. Was she really telling them all this? They weren’t sure what to think!

“I know, right?! I didn’t see it coming! But it worked so well! Anyway, so after we ate...yeah, of course we ate! It was delicious! Really romantic, too! I didn’t think I’d be into that sort of thing, but it was nice!” Rainbow smiled, looking dreamy. “So we hung around awhile after that, doing lap dances! It was great! Then we went out to watch the sunset together, it was real romantic! Fluttershy was so pretty cute, how can I not like that? Anyway, then we did the horizontal hustle, and scissoring! Let me tell you, it was all awesome! Fluttershy was really into it, too, so of course that just made it more fun! Of course, they say it takes two to tango, all right! They were meant to be shared! After that, we did a little sixty-nine-ing and watching the stars together. I honestly really enjoyed that, just the two of us there on the cloud doing all that, I mean, wow! It felt amazing!

“So after that, we headed back to the cottage, played some games, and eventually we got tired before we eventually fell asleep. ...I’ll be honest, I really liked falling asleep holding her, she was so cute and all cuddly! And waking up next to her, d’aww...Yeah, so what? I liked it! Get used to it! So we had breakfast of some waffles I made...yeah, I made waffles! Frozen, right in the toaster! Easy peasy! Like making toast! We decided to go out later! I’m gonna take her to see a movie! And then we might go to MY place this time! And that was my night with Fluttershy! It was AWESOME!”

Applejack just started in shock, unable to process the volume of unexpected information coming her way. Here was one of her friends and a good pony to compete with just pouring her heart out about her...special...time she had just had with another of her friends. After the joke yesterday, the poor farm pony wasn’t sure if today was still a joke or not.

Pinkie blinked a few times, processing the new information in her own strange way before bursting into gales of laughter. “Oh Dashie, it sure sounds like you had a great time!”

“You bet I did, Pinks! Last night was the best night ever!” Grinned Rainbow Dash.

“With all that... Ah’m sure it was a mighty tiring night too.” Applejack remarked, hiding her newfound grin behind a hoof.

Rainbow Dash nodded, whistling for emphasis. “Ohhhh yeah, I was really tired! I mean, wow! Everything we did just tuckered me out! By the time we fell asleep, I felt liked I’d flown all around Equestria ten times! No, twenty!”

Pinkie fell into fresh giggles, “Wow, Dashie! Your Flutters must be feeling really special now...” She thrashed against the ground, beating her hooves against it trying to calm her hysterics before she exploded.

“Nah, I’m the one who’s special...” Dash giggled, “But I guess I wanted to make sure she felt special too. Even though it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing most of the time! Fluttershy kinda felt weird herself at some point, but eventually everything just went awesomely! She was really helpful!”

“Well Ah’ll be...” Applejack sat down on her haunches, chuckling a bit. “Ah’m sure glad y’all had a good time. Y’all do make a cute couple, Ah gotta say...”

Pinkie rolled uncontrollably on the ground, gathering a curious glance from Rainbow Dash who wondered what could be causing her such glee.

“Anywaaayy... ” Dash cleared her throat, “Thanks, AJ! I feel really happy! Being with Fluttershy is the best!" She looked to her right, and grinned. "Hey look, there she is right now!"

Both friends jaws dropped open, this was truly an amazing turn of events.

The normally shy mare glided toward the group of friends with a radiant smile upon her face. She immediately cuddled up to her rainbow who in turn brought a protective wing around her.

“Gee Fluttershy, you really are shining today!” Pinkie gleefully noted.

“Oh...thank you, Pinkie...” Fluttershy giggled, blushing as she hid behind her fillyfriend’s mane.

“So uh, comin’ ta get Rainbow Dash, Ah take it?” Applejack grinned a bit nervously.

“Oh yes. We have something special planned for later. I think there are still a few new fun things for us to try.” She grinned shyly.

“Yep!” Agreed Rainbow Dash, nuzzling the creamy yellow pegasus. “Our date’s going to be a ton of fun!”

“Awright, don’t let us keep ya...” Applejack snickered. “Have a good time, y’all!”

“Thanks, AJ! Same to you, Pinks! You guys have been a big help!” Rainbow grinned. “Anyway, guess what? Later on I’m also gonna try this new awesome stunt I read about last week! It sounds freaking awesome! Only the Wonderbolts have ever performed it, but I’m gonna show that I can, too!”

“Rainbow...” The soft tone of the shy mare drew the excited one’s attention.

“Uh...yeah?” Rainbow’s ears drooped as her smile became sheepish.

Fluttershy gently nuzzled her mare, “No. I don’t want you trying that too soon. Not until you get a little more practice. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you...especially so soon after our relationship blossomed like it did now. Please, Rainbow...not so soon. Give it more time and practice.”

“Awww come on, Fluttershy. You know I’ll be fine!” The bold pegasus tried to defend herself.

“Of course I do. I just don’t want my wonderful fillyfriend to take any risky chances like that until you’ve had more practice.” The yellow mare gave her companion a sad, beseeching look.

There was nothing in all of Equestria that could defend Rainbow Dash from that look. Nopony could ever say no to that face.

“D’aww...okay, Fluttershy, I won’t do it...” Rainbow laughed a bit nervously, turning a bit pink.

“Thats a good nibbly-wibbly! Now come on, shall we go, sweetie?” She brushed against her blushing companion and led the stunned rainbow pegasus off, safely under her yellow wing.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie stared after them for a few seconds, jaws dropped. What...had just happened?

At least until the two of them collapsed into barrels of laughter.

Pinkie beat the ground like a drum, this was all too much for the party pony. “Oh Dashie....! You soo got whipped!” She continued to roll around in hysterics, completely unaware of her companions slightly more serious mood.

“Ah know!” Agreed Applejack, laughing too. “But Ah guess Ah can see why, Fluttershy’s just the kinda pony ta keep her grounded an’ turnin’ inta churned butter in her hooves when she needs it! But man! Ah cain't believe it! You were right, Pinkie! Fluttershy does look mighty happy!"

A bouncing happy pink pony gave her a big grin. "I told you so, Applejackie! Our prank was perfect and Dashie got together with Fluttershy! See? I told you I knew what I was doing!"

"Ya sure told me, Pinkie! Ya sure told me," Applejack smiled. "Ah really should never have doubted ya. Ah know you'd never do that ta Rainbow or Fluttershy."

The farm pony paused then, looking contemplative as she managed to sit up. She bit her lip before voicing her thoughts.

“But Ah wonder...what really happened last night?”

The End!