Now where can we start? I guess the beginning.
It all started one fine morning, the sun was shining, birds flew overhead, Rainbow Dash was taking a nap on the clouds as usual. The ponies below hustled and bustled as they got on with their regular, average lives. Twilight Sparkle was just preparing to leave, she had planned to drop by Sugarcube Corner to visit Pinkie before she left for Canterlot. Mr. and Ms. Cake had just left for the desert festival so she must've been quite lonely.
Twilight walked through the crowded streets. She made her way to the bakery and found a unusually small amount of customers. The place was often packed, what about today? Where was everypony?
Twilight waited as the line shuffled along, finally she reached the counter where Pinkie was waiting.
"Hiya Twilight!"
Twilight looked up to find a pink mare smiling like crazy, she probably was crazy judging from the amount of sugar she eats everyday.
"Hi there Pinkie."
There was nopony else in line so Twilight could chat with Pinkie Pie all day long if she wanted.
"Where's all the customers?"
"I dunno. Weird though right? Just yesterday the place was filled with customers! Everyone wanted-"
While Pinkie continued to ramble on, Twilight noticed something.
"Pinkie, are these the same exact cupcakes from yesterday? And the day before that? And the day before that?"
Pinkie stopped and stared at the cupcakes in the display case. They were the same thing again and again, no new recipes, no new nothing. It was just the same bland vanilla cupcake.
"Why don't you try something new?"
"Because silly, cupcakes come in only two recipes. One is that." Pinkie pointed at the display case
"And the other one is just downright disgusting."
Twilight stared at the cupcakes for awhile before leaving to go continue her duties as Princess Celestia's prized pupil. Pinkie waited for the next wave of customers, but they never came. A pony or two would glance in once in a while and then he or she would leave.
Pinkie decided to shut down early since there was nobody anyway, she sadly climbed the stairs to her room. She leaped into her bed and wondered where everypony went. Were they all really tired of her cupcakes? Probably.
Pinkie sighed and buried her face in her pillow. Hopefully tomorrow would be different.
The next morning, the sun rose high in the sky, the peacefully asleep Pinkie woke up and yawned. Today was day two of the bland cupcakes situation.
Pinkie Pie trudged down the stairs and walked towards the door. She flipped the sign and took her place behind the counter, she waited for the customers to roll in. Normally, the place would be packed with customers as soon as Pinkie declared the shop open. Not today.
The pink mare went to the kitchen to prepare a new batch of cupcakes, she baked a dozen of the little delicacies and put them into the display case. Pinkie waited for any signs of life. Nothing. She waited for what seemed like two agonizing hours until two mares, one blue one aquamarine, showed up. They browsed the bakery and left, buying absolutely nothing. Pinkie sighed in frustration at the lack of business.
For the next few hours, nopony came. Pinkie sat there doing nothing which was actually kind of dangerous considering the fact that she had enough energy to power all of Equestria. Pinkie would hop around the room once in awhile to make sure she didn't explode from all the energy.
Finally closing time came. Pinkie was feeling demoralized. No pony had come in after the first two mares. Pinkie walked to the door and flipped the sign, she had gotten exactly nothing. As Pinkie was turning her back on the door, she saw a colt approaching. He had a pale yellow mane and an alabaster coat of fur. He wore a monocle over his left eye alongside a fancy looking suit, signalling that he was possibly from Canterlot.
Pinkie flipped the sign again and bounded back to the counter. She watched in excitement as the colt stepped in the bakery. He walked back and forth, examining the tasty treats. He took one more long look at the cupcakes and left. Pinkie however was not going to lose this battle, she leaped in front of the colt and stopped him.
'Why aren't you buying anything? Is there something wrong?" Pinkie asked pleadingly
The white colt raised an eyebrow, brushed some dust off his suit and cleared his throat.
"My dear mare, the reason I am not purchasing any of your merchandise is because that, well, it's just too bland."
"Bland?"
"Yes, bland. I mean, anypony can find normal cupcakes anywhere. You're going to have to come up with something new if you want to keep this establishment up and running."
The alabaster colt opened the door and trotted out, leaving Pinkie with a decision. She was going to have to risk closing the shop. Or she was going to have to do the unthinkable.
Pinkie clambered up the stairs, she opened her bedroom door and walked in, she simply climbed onto her bed and stayed there, torn by such a hard decision. If Pinkie took the colt's advice, she'd have to go to vile, disgusting, terrifying new heights.
The next few days seemed like a complete copy of today, except with no customers at all. Pinkie was slowly being driven insane by the lack of activity. Twilight was in Canterlot after being summoned by Princess Celestia, Rarity was too busy designing her dresses, Fluttershy had to tend to the recent up rise of animal population, it was in the middle of applebuck season so AJ was out, Rainbow Dash was too busy training.
One fine night, Pinkie went back to her "Pinkamena Diane Pie" ways again. Throwing herself parties and what not. She gathered a group of the most pathetic items ever. One of them was a cupcake, another was Gummy, and another was a bucket of nails.
Pinkie continued chatting with herself and the inanimate objects. Eventually she turned her insane attention to the tasty golden treat. The cupcake.
"Everypony says your boring. Old. Bland. But not me! I know your still the greatest little thing I ever made!"
The pink mare rubbed the cupcake against her cheek and let out an insane laugh. She held it at arm's length and stared at it. Suddenly she noticed where everypony was coming from. The cupcake DID look bland and boring. It was just a normal cupcake. Nothing special.
"But what can I do? What should I do?"
Pinkie sat on the floor thinking of new ways to customize the cake. She had to think outside the box, but every idea she thought of had already been taken by various baker's all across Equestria. She had only one idea, a concept so inhumane that it was only found in the oldest and darkest of cookbooks. Nopony was crazy enough to try THIS.
Pinkie tried to make a decision. Either she was going to have to close down the shop, or resort to dark, evil deeds. It was clear which path Pinkie had to take.
