"AJ, have you ever been in a relationship?"
The previously constant sound of hooves hitting apple trees with a regular interval was interrupted by the sound of Applejack missing the tree completely, overbalancing, and falling face first on the ground, her hat a few feet away from her head. The hilarity of the situation was completely lost on the other pony present, as Rainbow Dash continued to lie upon her branch in a tree, and gaze at the sky.
"Erm, could ya repeat that sugarcube?" the Earth pony asked, hardly believing her ears.
"I asked if you'd ever been in a relationship before." repeated the troubled pegasus, completely ignoring Applejacks misplaced buck, preferring instead to focus on the canopy above her, bearing numerous apples that Applejack had yet to buck. Sweet Apple Acres remained quiet for a moment or so as Applejack righted herself and recovered her Stetson, still wondering how to reply to the odd question from her friend. She decided that the best reply would be an honest one, and replied "No. Ah don't suppose ah have RD." she thought for a second then added "Never had the time for all that stuff, too much work on the farm, you know?"
She thought she could hear a small sigh from the immobile pegasus above, before it was replaced by the same pony replying "It's fine AJ, I know you're always busy. Thanks all the same though." followed by a flurry of movement in the tree and the absence of the cyan mare. Applejack was still trying to get over the fact that Rainbow Dash, the self-proclaimed coolest pony in Ponyville, had thanked her for something, let along what she was asking her for advice on, which was certainly not what she'd been expecting when she woke up this morning.
She let out a small sigh, before walking over to the now vacant tree, turned around, lifted herself up onto her front hooves, and bucked it with enough power to drop every single apple in the tree. After all, she lived a working pony's life.
Inside Carousel Boutique, things were far from tranquil, with a seemingly chaotic array of fabrics, mannequins, gems, and even a sowing machine, all laying pell-mell around the shop while an increasingly frustrated unicorn patrolled the room, muttering to herself.
"No, Sweetie Belle has simple gone too far this time, I need needles to do my job, and so help me, if they think that they're going to get their cutie marks as acupuncture specialists then… So help me!" She finally stopped stomping around the room, and could hear a bell from the shop. Taking a moment to recover her shredded nerves and anger, she put on her best salespony smile and headed into the front of the Boutique, already halfway through her usual catchphrase.
"-Where everything is chic, unique and magnifi- Oh hello Rainbow Dash, I have to say I wasn't expecting you to show up today." The fashionista trilled, hardly missing a beat as she spotted the prismatic pegasus who could not have looked more out of place if she'd tried. All the same, she returned Rarities warm greeting with a small smile and a nod at her friend. Seeing that Rainbow wasn't going to take the lead in this conversation any time soon, Rarity continued "What can I do for you today Rainbow, have you finally agreed to let me give you a makeover at last, or maybe it's because you wanted to ask me if you could come to the spa with me and Fluttershy, I know you'll like it this time."
This at least got a response out of the other pony, even if it was a very emphatic "No, no no no, I'm not here for a makeover or any of that gunky stuff." to which Rarities face fell, she'd really wanted to experiment with that prismatic mane and see what she could do.
"I'm here because I mumble mumble mumble."
Rarity was perplexed; she'd expect such behaviour from Fluttershy, but never from brash, overconfident Rainbow Dash.
"Could you say that a little louder dear?"
"I need your mumble."
"Just a bit louder."
"I NEED YOUR ADVICE ALRIGHT!"
Rainbow was now red in the face, not looking at Rarity with her wings fully extended, almost as if she was about to bolt out the window. Rarity took a moment to get over the sudden increase in volume, and looked over, ready to tell her off for raising her voice like that to a lady, but all the words fled from her mind as she looked at the nervous pegasus. Of course she would help in whatever way she could, fixing a smile to her face, she asked Rainbow, "Of course dear, but what would you need advice with?"
Rainbow calmed down slightly, her breathing became more natural, and her wings seemed slightly less, well… less.
"Well, you know how you're always going on about falling for your dream stallion? Erm, I was wondering if you had any tips about romance, and how to get someone to like you?" which was followed by a hopeful expression towards Rarity as she waited for a reply.
Rarity, whose smile had frozen after the first question, was now thinking desperately about how to reveal one of her biggest secrets to her friend. "Well… Rainbow… dear… erm, oh how to say this, well, you see… The thing is… I've never actually found my dream stallion." To which Rainbow's reply was a confused look and
"But what about all those times where you've talked about your special somepony, and when you were talking about Blueblood before the gala, surely you knew what to do then?"
Rarity, now positively squirming where she stood, said hesitantly "Well… I sort of winged it when I was with Blueblood, and you know how that went. Those others… well… I… I… I LIED OK? Every time I was talking about my special somepony, none of it was real; it was all a fantasy of my own creation… all of it." She looked over at Rainbow to see her standing there with her mouth open and her eyes fixated on Rarity. This being the last straw for the poor pony as she fled into her back room sobbing, only to trip on the sowing machine that was lying in the middle of the floor. Remaining content to lie there and wallow in her misery. If she'd paid attention, she would have heard a sigh from Rainbow, and the door opening and closing.
But she was in hysterics, so she didn't.
The sound of hooves creating a steady beat was the only sound that could be heard in Ponyville, as the various patrons, stallholders and fillies and colts all settled down into their houses, the nights were getting colder after all, so much so that the breath of the lone pony could be seen as a cloud against the bright lights of the building ahead. The cloud expanded for a moment as the pony stopped for a moment.
"Hey!"
This had the effect of jump starting the lone pegasus into action as she flew up a few metres before looking around for the cause of her distress, ready to give it a good punch if needed. This motive failed her though as she noticed that it was only Pinkie Pie, mane as unruly as ever, meeting her. "Oh. Hey Pinkie" she said, trying to inject some emotion into her greeting, but failing miserably, and hoping that Pinkie would just leave her as she was, she couldn't deal with the energetic earth ponies antics now.
To her chagrin though, this was Pinkie so the next words that came out of her mouth were "What's up Dashie? What's with the frown?" Rainbow groaned internally, she knew that she wasn't going to get out of this without explaining what was wrong to her pink friend, and maybe Pinkie would have some useful advice. She was after all the most liked pony in Ponyville, friends with everyone, etcetera etcetera.
Letting out a massive sigh again, Rainbow decided to try. If she was honest, the only reason why she had not gone to Pinkie of her own accord was because she had expected a completely random answer, but looking at her reasoning now, she could see that an answer was still an answer.
"Pinkie, have you ever been in a relationship?" There, she said it, now all she had to do was listen for a good bit of advice in the randomness that was surely about to follow any second now. She was rewarded as Pinkie started talking at her usual rate of fifty words per second.
"Well of course I have, everypony is my friend I have relationships with everypony."
"Erm, I meant in a romantic relationship Pinkie." Rainbow attempted again, very close to simply facehoofing and giving up. She waited for Pinkie to continue in a slightly more relevant tirade, but as the seconds ticked by, that seemed less and less likely, until the pegasus decided that Pinkie was taking too long, and looked at the pink pony again to see what had got her tongue in a knot. Seeing that she wore a thoughtful expression, just as Rainbow was about to enquire what was taking her friend so long to answer, Pinkie continued in a slightly more subdued tone.
"No, I haven't Dashie, I've had a few colts who've tried to flirt with me I think… but they all just leave after I talk to them, I don't know why." Pinkie suddenly perked up and finished with "But there's still time yet."
Rainbow thought about what Pinkie said for a moment, slightly amazed that her friend hadn't struck out, but at the same time realising what Pinkie meant, she did have a tendency towards the random after all so it was no surprise that a lot of the ponies that Pinkie met could hardly stand her after a few minutes of being talked to at by Pinkie Pie. It was after all the method that they'd used to torture AJ at the cherry farm. Shaking her head slightly to stop herself from overcomplicating matters within her own head, she thanked Pinkie, and continued towards her original destination, leaving Pinkie to ponder on what had her friend in such a twist.
*Knock, Knock, Knock*
A pause.
"Fluttershy? Are you there?"
Another pause.
"It's me, Rainbow. Listen, I need to talk to you."
Scuffling could be heard from inside the darkness of the cottage, a bit of clinking, and then the sound of a key turning in a lock.
The door swung open to reveal the yellow pegasus that Rainbow was searching for. She appeared to be hiding behind her bubble-gum-pink hair, "Oh, hi Rainbow" she muttered out, her voice only slightly louder than the rustling of the forest nearby. "What's wrong?" Rainbow looked at her oldest friend with an odd look. Fluttershy never ceased to amaze her, she lived on the edge of the Everfree for pony's sake, and she was scared of somepony knocking on her door in the early evening. Then again, she was also a pegasus who was scared of flying, so anything was possible.
"Erm, do you mind if I come in? It's kind of cold out here." Rainbow said, fluffing her wings slightly. Of course there was an ulterior motive for getting out of sight, but the demure pegasus didn't need to know that.
Fluttershy nodded her approval before moving out of the way. She knew Rainbow well enough to tell when something was wrong with her brash friend, and if letting her inside to get warm could cheer her up, even slightly, then Fluttershy would be willing to help her friend.
Once Rainbow was inside, Fluttershy quickly shut the door on the chilly air which had started to invade her cottage, before moving towards her kitchen with a question of Tea or Coffee to Rainbow. "Coffee please, milk and three sugars." Yes Rainbow knew that coffee was bad for her, but at the moment she didn't care. She needed a way to think better, and maybe coffee could help her to that. Twilight was going on about how it improved her brain in the morning after all. She made her way towards the living room, knowing that Fluttershy usually entertained guest in here, and not wishing to cause her any undue worry. She had undoubtedly seen that Rainbow was worried about something, even if she hadn't said so herself.
She waited patiently for Fluttershy to finish in the kitchen, and when she finally emerged with a tray held by her mouth, she started talking.
"Listen, Shy, you know how I trust you and all that?"
Fluttershy was about to nod, before she realised that she was still carrying the loaded tray, which she placed on the table, and was about to reply to Rainbows question, when she continued herself
"Well, I need some advice from you Flutters."
Fluttershy didn't mind being interrupted, in fact she welcomed it, it meant that she wouldn't have to draw attention to herself as much, and she could continue to be a pony in the background. Wait, is Rainbow waiting for a reply?
Again, by this time Rainbow had continued her monologue, to which Fluttershy sighed softly, and listened to what her oldest friend was asking of her.
"Have you ever been in a relationship Fluttershy?"
This caught Fluttershy completely by surprise, and because of this, she spent a while just opening and closing her mouth as she wondered what she could say as a reply to that question.
"Well, I, erm. I mean, oh, you see, sort of, no."
She looked up at Rainbow who raised a quizzical eyebrow at her, as if to ask her to elaborate slightly.
"Well, you see, I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself, knowing that I had somepony constantly watching me all the time, judging my actions, I mean it was bad enough when I was a model for Photo Finish, but those were ponies that were only watching me for a minute while I was on stage. I wouldn't be able to have that constantly."
She looked up at Rainbow again to see her friends’ reaction to her answer. Sadly, her answer seemed to have had a negative effect on the usually loud pegasus as Rainbow let out a dejected sigh, thanked Fluttershy for her hospitality, and left, not hearing the small voice behind her, calling out "But Rainbow, you didn't even touch your drink."
Twilight was the last pony she could go to, well; the last pony she could go to who she was sure wouldn't judge her. But Rainbow couldn't stop herself from doubting that Twilight, the resident shut-in of Ponyville, would be able to help her in this. Still, if Twilight wasn't able to give her any advice, then she'd at least have closure that none of her friends could help her. In any case, it was another visit to her friends that she really needed to do more of. The moon was now up in full view, and stars littered the sky. Surely Twilight would still be awake while the skies were clear and Luna's sky was full of stars. Her resolve now set, Rainbow set off to the library where her bookish friend whittled the night away.
Before she even reached the door, she could tell that something was wrong. There was a racket coming from inside the tree, as numerous thumps, bumps and crashes could be heard, with occasional shadows passing in front of the windows, seemingly in chase of one another. After shaking her head to rid her mind of whatever scenario she'd just dreamed up, she headed quickly towards the door, not bothering to knock, she kicked it open to see what was going on inside.
The scene that met her eyes was… strange.
It was as if someone had taken a picture from one of the old comic books that she still had in her house somewhere, and instead of a road runner and a coyote, had replaced them with a small purple and green dragon, and a small owl, with a snarling purple unicorn thrown in for added effect. When Rainbow had finished drinking in the scene of chaos, she finally noticed that the whole room had stopped trying to kill one another, and were all now looking at the intruder. All that is except for the small owl, who spotting his chance for escape, had seized it and darted upstairs. Once Spike noticed this, he too ran after the owl, a determined growl resonating from him. This left Rainbow alone with the seething Twilight.
Very quietly, Rainbow closed the door behind her, not quite meeting the unicorns’ stern gaze.
"Hi… Twilight."
There was a bone shuddering crunch from upstairs, causing Twilight to avert her gaze from the Rainbow headed disaster in her front room. She started upstairs but not before shooting Rainbow a look which clearly said 'I'll deal with you in a moment.'
Rainbow couldn't help it, she gulped nervously, any thoughts of escaping the tree via flight were instantly forgotten as a click sounded from the door, and an ethereal cloud faded from view over the lock. There was always the windows, but Rainbow doubted that would help her standing with the purple unicorn any more.
Resolving herself to dealing with an angry Twilight, she decided to at least make herself comfortable by lying down on a cushion in the corner of the library, lit by a small lamp that she often used for reading the latest adventure novels that Twilight thought she might like. Twilight had once called it the 'eggheads anonymous' corner which, much to Rainbows dismay, had stuck. No amount of pleading, begging, or even whimpering had been able to change it… It had taken her a while to regain her pride though; in fact she was still sore about it all.
Eventually enough Twilight appeared at the top of the stairs, her mouth set in a thin line, and made her way down towards where Rainbow lay. She fixated her gaze upon the poor pegasus, and stated in a matter of fact tone,
"Because of you, I now have to explain to the princess why the library needs a new collection of horticultural magazines, and why Spike is missing exactly 27 scales on his left leg. Any excuses that you'd be happy to share?"
If it was possible to sink any further into the cushion, then Rainbow would have done that there and then, sadly though, the cushion didn't want to comply with her, and refused her any deeper entry. Probably because she was already lying prone on the floor, cushion long forgotten.
After a moment or two though, Twilight realised how unusually uncomfortable she was making her pegasus friend. Though she wasn't able to take back what she'd said, and wasn't intending to, she couldn't really blame it on the pegasus. It was after all her pet and her small charge that had done the deed. She let out a sigh, before apologising to the nervous pegasus. "Sorry Rainbow, it's just that everything's been hectic over here, I'm sorry for laying the blame on you like that, it wasn't your fault."
Looking up to check if her words had had the desired effect, she noted that Rainbow had reclaimed her cushion, and was now looking at Twilight with a bit less fear in her eyes. "So what can I do for you?" Twilight asked, curious as to why Rainbow would drop by at this late hour.
Rainbow perked up as she was finally given the chance to ask Twilight what she'd planned to ask her in the first place, that way she could get the negative reply, and get away from the slightly mad unicorn. Not that she didn't like her company, it was just that Twilight was properly scary when she was worked up enough, and that seemed like only a short fuse away from a meltdown at the moment.
"Have you ever been in a relationship Twilight?"
There, she'd asked her, now all she needed to do was wait for the obvious answer, and she could escape.
"Hrmm, a few I guess. Why'd you ask?"
Well… That's one way to prove an opinion wrong Rainbow thought to herself, her brain working overtime to process the fact that the studious bookworm in front of her had been in a relationship with someone. Quick brain, think of a response to that…
"Ah… bwuh?"
… Brilliant job brain… just brilliant.
The sudden appearance of the sarcastic voice in her head not doing much to help her at the moment, she realised that Twilight was looking at her with no small amount of contempt.
"Let me guess… you expected me to say no, that I'd never had time to see anypony, that I'd been too preoccupied with my studies, Correct?"
All Rainbow could do was nod, to which Twilight shook her head slightly, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face for a moment before she started talking again.
"I've been in a few relationships Rainbow, during my time in Canterlot as a student under the princess. A few one night stands, a few… other relationships. Only one that went somewhere though." To which Twilight let out a small sigh before looking at Rainbow whose brain was only just catching up to the conversation at hand.
"You mean that you've been in a relationship… with other ponies… as a couple… Who are you and what have you done with Twilight sparkle!" This last exclamation was matched by the Pegasus jumping up and eyeing Twilight with a measure of suspicion in her eyes. Twilight waved her back down, quelling Rainbows' accusations as she did so.
"Yes Rainbow, I suppose I have been in a romantic relationship with another pony. Really, you shouldn't believe Spike in these matters, I do keep secrets from some ponies. Why the sudden interest though?"
Rainbow backpedalled slightly, she hadn't bothered to think this far ahead, doubting that Twilight would be able to give her the answer that she just did. Deciding to just wing it, she replied "Well… suppose I've found somepony that I'd metaphorically wanted to be with, and I had no idea how to ask them out on a date… how do you do it? Er, metaphorically of course."
Twilight raised an eyebrow at Dash's vocabulary, but chose not to mention it; she didn't want to rib the pegasus any more than she had in her vulnerable state. She pondered the question for a moment, unsure about how to answer a question for once.
"Most of my relationships started by them asking me out Rainbow, although there were a few that I asked out myself." She stated, her usual lecture tone returning within a few moments of speaking. This she knew how to do; it was simply educating one of her friends in something that they didn't know about, that was all. But still, she needed to know what Rainbow wanted to hear. "Did you want advice on how to ask somepony out, or how to deal with somepony on a first date?"
"I suppose hearing about both can't hurt right? But still, you… in a relationship?" Yes Dash knew she sounded like a broken record, but at the moment, there was nothing she could do to change that, she still wanted answers on how the introverted librarian had managed to even socialise with a member of the opposite sex, let alone spin a relationship from that. This earned her a glare from Twilight as she deviated from her story.
"Yes Dash. I socialised with ponies. If you must know it was while I was a teenager and I wandered the streets of Canterlot on Celestia's instructions to get to know the town better. I may have found my way into a couple of bars and lost some of my inhibitions somewhere down the line. Meaning that I… I-I failed one of the tasks that Celestia set me." While she said this last bit, her voice shrunk until it became little more than a high-pitched squeak. She shook her head, and continued in a stronger voice, but still Dash could hear the slight hint of a waver under the stronger words.
"Whenever I asked somepony out, it was always a spur of the moment thing, one of those moments where you decide that nothing else really matters, you've probably had your fair share of those, where I just go up to the pony and ask them there and then, probably like what you've been doing with your own question of late." At this, Twilight fixated her gaze back on her cyan friend and waited for her reply. Said reply still seemed to be a little way off, so Twilight settled down, and waited for Dash's thoughts to catch up with her brain. When that finally happens, I can probably hold an actual conversation with her.
As it happened, it was a whole five minutes before Rainbow started speaking again, by which time Twilight had started on the second chapter of a new arrival in the library and was deeply engrossed in the book. Said concentration was broken though as the other occupant of the room started laughing raucously at something, causing Twilight to jump a few feet in the air, and slam the book shut in order to protect it better. Once she'd calmed herself down enough and made sure that the book wasn't going to come under any more harm, she turned to the Pegasus who was still laughing happily, and glared at her, waiting for her to notice.
It took Rainbow Dash exactly 53 seconds to notice that she was now the subject of a very unhappy unicorn, and a further thirteen seconds for her to calm down enough to hear Twilights question. "Mind telling me what's so funny Rainbow?" The ice almost forming in the air to Twilights chilly tone.
"Sorry Twi, but you drunk? Pull the other one; I've never even seen you touch the stuff."
"You haven't seen me touch the stuff? So you've been stalking me all day long for the duration of my stay in Ponyville?"
Instead of quieting the pegasus, this only server to bring about another round of laughter as Rainbow gasped out "What sort of drunk are you then Twi? A bookish one? No, let me guess, a shy one?" this was all she could say before giving into the body shaking laughter that she was now producing. To which Twilight rolled her eyes at Rainbows antics, a disgruntled expression on her face as she was forced into yet another tangent on her story. After Rainbow had finally calmed down enough to stop laughing out loud, Twilight started talking again, with a look that dared the brash pegasus to interrupt her again.
"If you must know, alcohol doesn’t do that much to me, probably something to do with me being the element of magic; it probably reduces the toxin absorption into my liver." A quick glance at the pegasus confirmed that she'd lost her around the point of magic. "Basically magic. That's why it takes an absurd amount of alcohol to remove my inhibitions entirely."
Having covered that tangent nicely, she moved on with her story. "A few of them said no, but there were the odd few that said yes to a first date. The best of them I'd say was when we went for a meal at a fancy restaurant in the middle of Canterlot. It served some actual food as well as the stupidly small servings that fancy restaurants usually serve, so that suited me just fine. It was quite nice actually, all we did was talk. Turned out that we didn't have much in common though, so I didn't ask him out for another date."
This caused Rainbow to give a double take. "But I thought you said that was the best date you'd been on?" To which Twilight chuckled, it seemed like Rainbow had been paying attention after all.
"Yes, it was. I didn't say anything about the person who was dating me though. Just that the plan was very well thought out, and it would have been much more wonderful if the pony I was with knew just how strongly I felt about Celestia's rule though. Turned out that he was an anti-monarchist. Still, it was the nicest date I'd ever been on."
Rainbow swore that she could see Twilight's eyes lose focus and stare off into the middle distance. Once she started talking again though, Twilight started paying attention to her again. "So what happened to him after you dumped him?"
With the same nonchalance, Twilight replied "I called the royal guard upon him, and they had him arrested for spreading disharmony towards Celestia."
There was silence for a minute or so as Rainbow regarded Twilight in a new light. "Wasn't that a little… you know… harsh?"
"Oh no, I did speak in his favour in the court trial, so I consider myself morally absolved in that regard." was the reply.
"What did it change?"
"The sentence was altered from a month in a minimum security prison, to half a year in solitary confinement."
Rainbow facehooved. There really was no point reasoning with that unicorn sometimes. Still, she thought that she had the gist of how to go about getting a date sorted.
"So let me get this straight, I should just go up and ask the guy if he wants to go out on a date with me, and if he says yes, I should find something that we both enjoy, and make small talk with him?"
Twilight was silent for a moment as she went through Rainbow's statement, before nodding, "Yes, that about sums it up. If you don't mind me asking, who's the lucky stallion?"
Rainbow contemplated avoiding the question, but seeing as Twilight already knew she was romantically interested in somepony, what harm could it do to let her know who she was interested in?
"It's Soarin. After the wedding of your brother and Cadence, I got talking to him again, and well… I think I'm in with a chance if I don't say so myself."
Twilight smiled brightly, happy that Rainbow appeared to have found someone she could relate to. Rainbow got up, stretching herself off after lying on the cushion for so long before saying, "Well, thanks for the advice Twilight, I have to say that I wasn't expecting you to be any help whatsoever in this, but I think I've been proved wrong."
"Why not write to Princess Celestia about it then, I don't think you've written to her in a while, it would probably make a very interesting letter at the very least."
"Great idea, do you have a quill and some parchment anywhere?" replied Rainbow, why hadn't she thought about that, of course it would go well in a letter to the princess. All she needed to do was write it.
"I'll let you get on with that then, I need some sleep." came the reply from Twilight as she headed upstairs. "Call Spike when you've finished it, he'll pass it on to the Princess."
An hour later, there were numerous attempts that filled the bin in the corner, a spilled inkwell on the desk, and a few snapped quills that had been discarded and now littered the floor. But she had her letter, and she was happy with how it had turned out, she re-read it once more to check that she hadn't forgotten anything. In a quick moment of inspiration, she copied out the letter onto yet another sheet of parchment; sure that Twilight would want to see what she had learned with her help. After a quick comparison between the two scrolls to decide which one was neater, the rolled the neater one into a tight scroll, and let out a call for Spike, who appeared at the top of the stairs, still clutching a blanky to his chest as he regarded Rainbow through half closed eyes.
"What?" He yawned out, making sure to convey his displeasure of being woken up so late at night.
"Sorry Spike, but can you send this off to Princess Celestia, Twilight said that you'd send it when I'd finished." Rainbow explained, not even bothering to tease Spike about the blanky that he still clutched as he came down the stairs.
"Fine, fine, give it here and I'll send it." So saying, he took the proffered scroll, and let out a burst of green dragon fire, sending the scroll on its way. "Now can I please go to bed?"
Rainbow nodded, watching the tired dragon make his way back upstairs, blanky still trailing behind him.
She let out a small giggle, before deciding to call it a night herself, it had been a long day, and she had plans to make.
The next Morning:
Twilight rolled out of bed at nine 'o'clock sharp, her days around the palace guards were still affecting her in that regard. After performing her usual ritual of taming her mane, brushing her teeth, and making sure that her horn was right where she left it; she went downstairs in search of breakfast.
Spike was already awake, and was fixing up breakfast for the two of them. She smiled to herself, that was her number one assistant alright. After giving Spike a quick greeting to let him know she was awake, followed by an assurance that breakfast would be ready in a minute or two, she headed into the front room to see what destruction Rainbow Dash had wrought upon her writing supplies. Surveying the casualties of Rainbow's writing, she was surprised at how little destruction there was in regard to what she would have expected.
The pile of discarded and failed attempts at letters? Now a pile of ash that went swiftly into the bin.
A spilled inkwell? With a bit of exertion from Twilight, the dried ink seemed to rise up from the desk, and followed the ash to the depths of the waste disposal.
A few broken quills here and there? All swiftly swept into the trash to join the other two.
Glancing around to make sure that she hadn't missed any other casualties, she noticed that there was a scroll still laid on the desk with a note attached to it. She picked up the note then, smiling, read the scroll.
Slowly, her smile became fixed, then forced, then non-existent as she read the whole of the letter. Her eye twitched, and she sat there for a few more moments, before falling flat on her back, out cold.
Spike entered a minute later, about to tell Twilight that food was served. Seeing his mistress in an apparent coma, he dashed to her side to check if she was still breathing, and sure enough, he could hear her strong heart beating, and the breath entering and leaving her body, indicating that she'd just fainted. Looking around for the cause of this, his eyes fell on a small note and a scroll lying next to it. The note read 'Hey Twilight, thanks for that talk last night again, just thought you'd like to know what I learned too so I made a copy of my message to the princess. Thanks again, Rainbow.'
Intrigued, Spike picked up the scroll, and started reading.
Dear Princess Celestia
I realise how odd this is, me, Rainbow Dash, writing to you. But I thought that this deserved a letter.
Today I learned how sometimes advice can be found in the strangest of places, this piece of romantically centred advice coming from Twilight herself. I mean I never would have guessed that for such a bookish pony, she could have had a social life like she has.
She taught me that I should explore all possibilities for a problem rather than the obvious ones; for such a studious unicorn, I’d never expect that I’d hear about her getting completely drunk in a few bars in Canterlot, even meeting up with a few one night stands, apparently while she should have been doing other things for you.
I suppose that you can't judge a book by its cover any more than you can by the first page you read.
Your faithful subject,
Rainbow Dash
There was a small groan as Twilight regained consciousness behind him. He rushed to her side, and helped her to her hooves. Sadly, Twilight saw the letter out of the corner of her eye, and let out a scream that could have probably been heard in Canterlot.
"RAINBOW!!!"
The End.
