Chaos Theory

by Lucky Seven

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance
Length: 4645

Discord is trapped in stone once again. But this time, he does some thinking.

Discord is trapped in stone once again. But this time, he does some thinking. No, not about revenge, mind you. But about a certain lavender mare...

Published 2012-11-03 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-05 05:39:27 UTC

Chapter 2

Chapter One: Part I

Chaos Theory

Chapter One: Part I

Coauthored by Seven81493 & Miss Dark Angel

It’s been two weeks now since I was imprisoned. For the first week, many ponies would visit me, but their intentions were not benevolent. Fillies and colts painted graffiti on me. Mares and stallions alike used me as some sort of attraction to take pictures next to. Even worse, I was the dead center of a ceremony celebrating my defeat.

But this is the worst part. Another celebration is planned for today! Oh, well. It will simply give me more ideas for how to make the lives of every pony in Equestria miserable when the time comes. Why are they having another one, you may ask? Apparently not enough ponies were able to make it to the first. They actually want me to be humiliated in front of as many ponies as possible. Though, I did the same thing to them eons ago, so I suppose this is one thing I had coming.

Well, when the time comes, they’ll see what it’s like.

“Come on, Twilight. We’re gonna miss the ceremony!” Rainbow Dash’s head popped into the library, where Twilight stood, taking her time to get ready, which Rainbow did not have much patience for herself.

“Is everypony else ready, Rainbow?”

“Yeah, and they’re already at the train station. We have to leave, like, right now!”

“I still don’t understand why the princess feels the need to host a second ceremony celebrating his defeat…”

“Geez, Twilight, what’s been with you the past few weeks? You don’t actually feel sorry for him, do you?”

Twilight contemplated the question for a few seconds, but it was hard to come to a definite conclusion. “I don’t know. Maybe? It’s just, I know how he feels.”

“How could you possibly know how someone like Discord feels? He’s probably plotting his revenge right now!”

Letting out a sigh, Twilight responded, “I don’t mean it like that. It’s just… I was turned to stone once, too.”

At that, Rainbow Dash looked down towards the ground. “Oh… yeah. I forgot about that. So, um, what was it like?”

“Well, being turned into stone was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. You don’t get coated with stone. You become stone, even your organs.”

“H-how do you know your organs became stone?” Rainbow asked nervously. There was no way the answer would sound pleasant.

“My heart stopped when the stone reached my chest. But turning into stone wasn’t even the worst part.”

“What could be worse than what you just described, Twilight?” she questioned, not sure she even wanted to hear the answer.

“The feeling of being alone. It’s hard to describe, but being in there for those few hours…”

Hearing her friend trail off, Rainbow prodded for her to continue. “What is it, Twilight?”

“N-nothing,” she replied, not wanting to dig up wounded memories. “Let’s just go, Rainbow.”

So here I am, in the center of a large room. Tables are scattered around, and Celestia and the Elements of Harmony are sitting at the largest one. I am the centerpiece of the most boring party in existence. Celestia will pay for doing this to me. Seriously, why is everypony sitting around talking?! Do ponies in Canterlot not know what the word ‘party’ means? Partying means letting loose and going wild, not acting like stuck up snobs! Oh, hold that thought. Celestia’s about to give her speech, and everypony is watching, so I may as well watch too.

“Greetings, everypony. I don’t think I have to tell any of you why we’re here, today.”

Nope. I already know you’re just here to humiliate me.

“Two weeks ago, the largest threat ponykind has ever faced was put to rest. Quelled by the magic of friendship.”

Oh, ga-a-ag! Could you possibly say anything lamer, Celestia? Why not do something hilarious like throw a cake at Pinkie Pie? Or better yet, at me. I’m starving over here.

“Were it not for the friendship of the six ponies standing next to me, Discord would surely be ruling us right now.”

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, SISTER.

“But today is not a day for speculations. Today is a day for celebration. So, to that end, I offer a toast.”

Oh no, here it comes. She’s gonna say ‘to friendship’ or something lame like that.

“To the magic of friendship!”

I totally called that.

Having just finished her speech, Celestia turned to her left, giving Twilight and her friends a smile. All of them returned it. All of them… but Twilight.

“Could you girls excuse us? Twilight and I need to have a little talk.”

Everypony nodded and walked off, leaving Celestia and Twilight alone at their table.

“Twilight, what’s bothering you?”

“N-nothing, princess.”

“Now now, Twilight,” Celestia scolded her, “you should know better than to lie to me.”

“I-is it wrong for me to feel bad for Discord?” she asked suddenly, stunning her mentor.

Celestia took a moment to ponder the question. On the one hoof, Discord wasn’t truly evil, he was just a misguided spirit. But on the other, he had made the lives of every pony in Equestria miserable, even if it had been for just a brief time.

“It doesn’t matter what I think of it, Twilight. All that matters is what you think. Now tell me, are you ashamed to feel bad for him?”

“Not really, no…”

“Then you have nothing to worry about. Often times, I find myself thinking the same thing. He may cause chaos on a global scale, but nopony deserves to be imprisoned in stone.”

“If he doesn’t deserve it, though, then why put him in it?”

“Because even if he doesn’t deserve it, it needed to be done to protect Equestria. Now you go enjoy yourself, Twilight.”

What’s this? Celestia actually feels bad for me? Hm… I’m going to have to use this against her at some point. Lure her into a false sense of security and then BAM! She won’t even know what hit her.

“FOOD FIGHT!”

Well I didn't mean she would get hit by a cake, but okay. Thank you, Pinkie Pie, you actually made this affair seem less boring.

Celestia merely giggled upon being hit with the flying pastry, and simply took the piece that was on her plate and launched it right at the pink party pony, hitting her square in the snout. Soon enough, everyone was throwing food. It had turned into a war, and there would be no last pony standing. Everypony was going to be hit at some point. And amidst all the chaos, nopony heard the first crack.

Ponies were jumping around, flipping tables over and hiding behind them, and generally having a bawl. Everything was fair game, too. Cakes, pudding, cookies, muffins, cups full of fruit punch, you name it. And all the while, the cracking continued.

I can’t believe how stupid these ponies are. Celestia of all ponies should know that doing this will free me. Yet they’re actually causing enough chaos to free me in the middle of a party for beating me! Oh, the irony is just too perfect! Only one more crack and I’ll be free forever!

The last crack came at the best of moments. Princess Luna slammed the doors of the ballroom open and let loose her loudest scream.

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!”

Everypony silenced themselves instantly, and that’s when they heard it. A series of cracking noises began to assault everypony’s ears, and the sound only got louder and louder until finally, it stopped. But the noise that replaced it was worse. So much worse. Everypony turned their heads to the familiar statue of Discord, the source of a low pitched laugh which resonated throughout the entire castle.

Chapter 3

Chapter One: Part II

Chaos Theory

Chapter One: Part II

Coauthored by Seven81493 & Miss Dark Angel

The ballroom was dead silent. Everypony was staring at the petrified Discord, waiting for him to make his first move, but it never came. The statue simply crumbled to bits, a pile of marble taking its place on the floor. The ponies were confused. Was he dead, or was he simply toying with them? But they quickly came to the conclusion that the first option was simply impossible. He could not return a third time now, could he?

That was when they heard his voice.

“Oh, don’t stop partying on my account.”

“Discord, show yourself!”

“Oh please, Celestia, just like a broken record. Can’t you say something funny every once in a while?”

Discord’s retort, of course, caused Rainbow Dash to get mad. “Hey, stop making fun of the princess and show yourself, you coward.”

Just as hot-headed as ever, he thought.

“I will, but first, some thanks are in order.”

“Thanks?” questioned Twilight, seeing as nopony else was going to.

“But of course! I’d like to thank you all for being here. You will be the first to witness the new Equestria. Or, as I’m going to call it, the Discord Continuum.”

Before anypony could react, they heard claws snapping, and the room shifted. They suddenly found themselves on the ceiling of the now upside down room, and Discord let out a boisterous laugh. Of course, nopony else found it funny, and they were soon complaining to each other, too shocked to be terrified of the master of chaos’s return. All the while, Discord simply watched from afar.

Ah, omnipotence is amazing, is it not? I don’t even have to be there to see how foolish those ponies look. I may as well make my grand entrance, however, seeing as this is just the beginning. Oh, but first, I have to run a quick errand.

Meanwhile, Celestia and Luna, once bringing the room into its original state, were attempting to calm everyone in the ballroom down.

“I assure you, my little ponies, we have the situation under control.”

“That’s what you two always say!” yelled out one of the many noble ponies who had turned up for the event. “When will you two actually be able to protect us?!”

“Sir, I assure you that we can take of Discord.”

“Oh, really?” responded the disembodied voice of the spirit of chaos. Before Celestia could offer a retort, a loud buzzing emanated from the center of the room, where his crumbled statue lay. Everypony watched in awe as a green orb formed at the center of the rubble. Electricity crackled off of it, and it began growing in size until finally, it exploded. Taking its place was the master of chaos himself. Only, something seemed different.

The ponies quickly took notice of the large crown adorning his head, along with the scepter he was holding in his lion’s paw. the crown was a bright gold in color, while the scepter was striped like a candy cane. But adorning the top of the scepter were oval gems of various colors.

“Oh, you’ve noticed my new accessories. Well I have you to thank for them.”

“And why is that, Discord?” demanded Celestia, causing Discord to chuckle.

“I’m quite shocked, Celestia. You’d think you would recognize your precious Elements of Harmony,” he spat, immediately enjoying the look that found its way onto the faces of every pony in the ballroom once the realization hit them. He had turned the elements into his royal apparel.

“H-how c-could you?!” Celestia stammered, to which Discord quickly responded.

“Well, melting them was the easy part. But shaping them into this? That was a bit of a challenge. Well, not really,” he concluded with a laugh before flying over to Celestia and flicking her on the muzzle. “As I said before, Discord rules, Celestia drools.”

In a very feral manner, Celestia attempted to bite down on his paw, but he simply retracted it and waved it as if to ‘no’.

“Now now, Celestia, resorting to violence? That’s so unlike you.”

“I will destroy you, Discord!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice shifting to fury in seconds. Quickly, she lifted herself into the air, channeled a great deal of magic into her horn, and fired off the most powerful blast she could muster at Discord. Instead of moving, he feigned yawning with his paw. The blast hit him mid-yawn, and a cloud of dust enshrouded him. After a few seconds, it cleared, to reveal Discord in the same position. He gave a jump after a second, and his classic wit kicked in.

“Is that all, then? Well, let me show you how it’s done.”

Just to make her humiliation even worse, Discord summoned a magazine into existence and began reading. As he held the magazine with his bird claw, he extended his lion’s paw to the left and fired a blast of magic out of it absentmindedly. The blast struck Celestia with enough force to send her flying into the wall of the room, the impact making a large dent. As her body lay in a heap on the floor, he simply chuckled.

“Come now, Celestia, do you really think that would work against someone like me? I mean, me?”

Among the first to react to Celestia’s swift defeat was Rainbow Dash. Ever loyal to her princess, she launched herself at Discord with all the speed she could muster. To her, he would never see it coming; she was approaching from behind him, after all. But before she even had a chance to touch him, his tail swatted her up into the air, straight into the ceiling. Her head hit first, and the impact knocked her out instantly, causing her to fall back down to the floor below.

“Now, would anypony else like to try and assault me? No? Good,” he concluded, snapping his talons. Instantly, Rainbow Dash and Celestia woke up, rubbing their heads in the process. The many ponies in the ballroom began whispering amongst one another all the while, trying to think of ways to escape.

“Oh my goodness, Rainbow! Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked as she and her friends rushed to Rainbow Dash’s side.

“Ugh, I feel like I flew into a wall…” Rainbow complained, unaware of how right she was.

Celestia, on the other hand, flew up into the air and readied herself for another attack on Discord.

“Sorry, Celestia, but I can’t let you do that. You’ll only end up hurting yourself,” Discord stated calmly. As he finished speaking, he flicked his claws, and the entire ballroom was appalled into silence yet again. Celestia’s wings and horn were gone, and she had fallen to the floor, a look of absolute shock on her face. It wasn’t long before the effects of the spell reached the night princess as well, and Luna’s disappeared, too.

“Do you see now what happens when you attempt to harm me?” he addressed the ponies, who wisely remained quiet. “Anypony else who tries a stunt like that will wish they had never been born.”

Nopony dared to even move a muscle. The situation in the room was beyond tense. Silence fell over the room, and nopony had the guts to break it, lest he punish them as well. But eventually, one pony decided to speak for all of them.

“W-why are you doing this, Discord?”

Discord didn’t need to look to know who had asked the question. Her voice had haunted him for those few weeks he had been imprisoned. So, without turning around, he gave a haunting response.

“Because, Twilight Sparkle, it’s fun. And if you think what I did to them was bad, just wait until you see what I have in store for you and your friends.”

Chapter 4

Chapter Two

Chaos Theory

Chapter 02

Coauthored by Seven81493 & Miss Dark Angel

“AH!” Twilight shot up in her bed, sweat soaking her coat. Confusion ran rampant through her mind. Had it all been a dream? Perhaps. And if that was the case, Discord was still in his prison. Which was a good thing, of course. Still, she had to be absolutely sure.

“Spike!”

Unbeknownst to her, Spike was right next to her, and her yelling caused him to roll right out of his basket and smack face first into the floor. “Ow! Ugh, what is it, Twilight? It’s the middle of the night…”

“I need you to come with me, Spike. We’re going to the Castle Garden. We’ll have to take the hot air balloon, most likely. After all, I doubt Celestia is awake at this hour.”

“And we shouldn’t be, either. Go back to sleep, Twilight.”

“But Sp--”

“No, go back to sleep. Every time you panic about something, it turns out to be nothing.”

Twilight resigned herself to a disappointed sigh, but did as her friend told her. He was right, after all. It was probably nothing. Just a dream.

“AH!” Twilight shot up in her bed, coat caked in sweat. Again.

“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle! Nightmares plaguing you?”

“Yes, Discord, now go away. You ruined my life…”

“Oh, I did no such thing! I’ve improved it, if anything!” he shouted boisterously, the sheer power of his voice making Twilight fall off of the bed she occupied.

She grunted in pain as she hit the floor before raising herself up slightly, allowing her eyes to appear over the bed. “You are such a jerk…”

“Now now, Twilight, didn’t Celestia teach you to be nice to ponies?”

“You’re not even a pony! You’re just a freak!”

Discord’s smile instantly vanished, and Twilight knew she had hit a chord with the draconequus. “If I were you, I’d watch it, Twilight Sparkle. I may be the god of chaos, but I will not deal with your blatant racism.”

Twilight sat up and opened her mouth to reply, but before she could Discord teleported away, leaving her to herself. Maybe she had crossed a line…

Meanwhile, all the way across the castle, Discord was visibly upset. His stomps resonated throughout the halls of the castle, causing any of the ponies who happened to be nearby to flee. He had known Twilight to be an introvert, but racist too? Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the pink pony in front of him and they collided head on, forming a small pile on the ground.

As the pink pony got up and began rubbing her head, she noticed just who she had run into. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright, Discord?”

He let out a small groan in response, slowly making his way to his feet. As he began dusting himself off, he addressed the pony before him. “I am quite alright, Cadance. A little upset about being called a ‘freak’, but it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

“Who called you a freak?” the alicorn questioned innocently. Jerk or no jerk, calling somepony else a freak was completely uncalled for.

“Your little sister. You would think that after her encounter with that zebra in the Everfree, she wouldn’t be a racist,” he spat, clearly getting more upset by the second. Cadance looked at him inquisitively. Sure, he looked angry, but that couldn’t be what was bothering him. Maybe he was covering up some other emotions?

“Are you sad, Discord?” The question threw Discord off. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting it, which meant he likely was trying to mask his sadness.

“Why dont you go ask Celestia?” he finally replied. Yet again, he teleported away before the pony adjacent to him could press him further. Letting out a sigh, Cadance slowly began walking to where she suspected Celestia was residing.

“Stupid ponies. They think they can treat me like a common animal?! I’ll show them all what it’s like!” Discord exclaimed, looking down at the city of Canterlot. Floating high above it, he began singing a slow tune.

“As I gaze down upon this town, I can’t help but frown

For all these ponies see me as is a clown!

But I’ll show them once, I’ll show them twice,

Why they had better treat me nice!

I’m the baddest of the bad, the meanest of the mean?

Well I’ll show them all why I’m a total fiend!

They take me for a fool, they think I’m a joke

Well I hope they like this next joke…”

As his little song came to a close, he began laughing grimly. These ponies were in for the chaos of a lifetime.

As Cadance walked through the halls of Canterlot Castle, she finally reached the room she had been making her way to for the past few minutes. Pushing the door open with one hoof, she trotted inside and used her tail to slam it shut.

“Auntie!”

“Over here, Cadance,” came the reply she was looking for. Celestia was seated across the room, snout stuffed in a history book. No doubt looking for ways to stop Discord again. After all, that had been her agenda for almost a week now.

“Auntie, it’s not healthy to stuff your face in books for a week straight.”

“I know, and I have no idea how Twilight was able to do this sort of thing,” she replied, throwing the book behind her without a care. She had changed since Discord had returned, that much was clear to Cadance.

“I actually came to ask you about something,” Cadance informed her ‘aunt’ as she took a seat across from her.

“Oh?”

“It’s about Discord. He seemed upset earlier,” she began, certain Celestia didn’t care, “something about Twilight being racist?”

“O-oh dear. What did she say to him?” Celestia questioned, suddenly full of intrigue.

“I don’t know, but Discord seemed sad, almost. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell,” she informed Celestia, hoping the information would help.

“I think it’s time I tell you something, Cadance. Something nopony but Luna and I know.”

Cadance’s eyes lit up at that. So Celestia did know why he was upset! “What is it?”

“I think it’s time somepony besides myself and Luna knew about Discord’s past.”

Chapter 5

Bonus Chapter #1

Chaos Theory

Bonus Chapter #1

Written by Seven81493

“Remind me again why we’re doing this, Discord?”

Discord looked at the pony who had questioned him, Twilight Sparkle, and couldn’t help but giggle like a girl. “Oh, no reason, Twilight Sparkle.”

Before anypony could ask any more questions, Discord slowly began stepping towards them. He reared his arm backwards, the ball in his hand going with him, before underhanding it forwards, sending it rolling towards the girls. Within a few seconds, it had covered the gap and hit Twilight, sending her flying backwards into her friends, causing them to fall down as well.

“Yes! Strike!” yelled Discord jubilantly. With a chuckle, he snapped his fingers and the girls were turned back into their normal pony selves. “Now what did I say? Wasn’t that fun, girls?”

“What part of being turned into bowling pins and knocked around is fun?!” yelled Twilight irately.

“Oh, come now, Twilight Sparkle! You just need to let loose and have some fun every once in a while!”

“I hate to say it, but I think he’s right,” agreed Rainbow Dash. “You’ve complained about everything he’s done so far today.”

“That’s because everything he does is crazy!”

“But what about when he made us those cupcakes, Twilight!” yelled Pinkie, equalling the volume of her friend’s voice.

“Or when we went on that rollercoaster,” added Rainbow Dash.

“I must admit, I did have quite a bit of fun playing laser tag,” Rarity said in agreement.

“See, Twilight? Your friends are having fun, so why can’t you?” questioned Discord, who was seriously beginning to wonder if Twilight was simply incapable of having fun.

“BECAUSE YOU DESTROYED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY AND OVERTHREW PRINCESS CELESTIA!”

“Oh, come now, Twilight. You and I both know that Celestia has wanted a break for ages. I simply provided her with a little push.”

“YOU SLAMMED HER INTO A WALL!”

“She attacked me first. What goes around comes around,” he replied nonchalantly. To his surprise, Twilight couldn’t come up with a retort. Her friends, meanwhile, were staring at her in anticipation, waiting for the dam to break. But, to both their surprise and Discord’s, it never happened. She simply fell down on her haunches, knowing that no matter what she said, it wouldn’t make a difference. Discord had won, and that was that.

As Rainbow Dash rested on her “chair”, she began to grow unsure of the situation she found herself in. “Hey, Discord, are you sure tha--”

“FORE!” yelled Discord, cutting off Rainbow Dash. the next thing she knew, she was flying through the air. As the trees and water went by, she resigned herself to a sigh of relief. At least it hadn’t hu--

Rainbow’s thoughts were cut off as she smacked right into a tree, pain instantly taking over her entire body.

“Discord, I don’t think that this is a good idea…”

“Oh, come now, Fluttershy. You’ll be fine, I promise,” Discord responded as he blew air through the straw in his mouth. Expelled from the other side was none other than Fluttershy, now the size of a spitball. Within seconds, Spitshy landed in the mane of none other than Luna, and everypony scattered as she angrily turned towards the spirit of chaos and began yelling.

“Discord, what do you think you’re doing?!”

“Just having a bit of fun with the girls,” he replied without any hint of interest, causing the princess of love to sigh.

“Discord, you can’t just--”

“Excuse me, but unless you have something interesting to say, please leave.”

“Ugh, fine, you freak.”

Discord chuckled as Cadance left the room, and quickly smacked Twilight and Rainbow Dash together. Turning them all into toys was the best idea he’d ever had. “... and then they kissed.”

Chapter 6

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Chapter 7

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Chapter 8

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Chapter 9

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Chapter 10

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Author's Notes

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Chapter 1

Prologue

Chaos Theory

Prologue

Coauthored by Seven81493 and Miss Dark Angel

Darkness. That’s all there is. It taunts me. Ridicules me. I haven’t seen the light of day in a week. That’s how long I’ve been trapped in this blasted prison. Those stupid ponies and their elements of harmony. When I get out of this prison, they’re going to suffer for what they did to me. The first time was bad enough, with Celestia and Luna catching me off guard while singing. But for me to be turned to stone on my throne? They will pay dearly for doing that.

But it was that stupid purple pony who truly ended my second reign. What made her so different? How was she able to break free of my bonds when no other pony in history had? Perhaps my questions will be answered soon enough. But for now, it’s best not to think too much about it. I should be planning my revenge on those accursed equines. They may have taken away my ability to see, but I can hear everything they’ve been doing over the past week.

Calling me names. Taking pictures next to my statue. And worst of all, saying that my defeat was too easy. If only they knew just how easy I had made it for them. I admit that I was too cocky, and it cost me dearly. But I won’t make that mistake this time. This time, I’m going to trap Celestia and Luna in stone. Then they’ll know just how agonizing the process is. But that won’t be enough. Then I’ll take their precious Elements of Harmony and melt them down into a crown for myself. That will teach them who the boss is.

I am Discord, the master of chaos, and nopony is going to stop me! I am going to wreak havoc the likes of which they can’t even begin to fathom! Fear me, for I will be your new master soon enough, my little ponies...