Chapter 1: Pinkie of the Dead
Celestia’s sun slowly began its descent into the distant horizon, turning the sky a haunting red. Little foals, colts and fillies started to wander the streets of Ponyville, dressed in their most terrifying and impressive costumes. There were ghosts, and monsters, goblins and ghouls. There was even a little orange pegasus dressed as an Eagle, a white hood with a hooked beak and a set of brown feathers over her body. With her, there was a little white unicorn dressed up as a rock-star and a little yellow earth pony dressed as a buffalo, red and white paint streaked over her face and a large feathered headdress atop her crown.
“Scootaloo, why couldn’t you just pick a normal costume to wear?” Sweetie Belle asked her feathered friend.
“Because I’m trying to create a different image,” Scootaloo retorted. “Ever since you gave me that ridiculous nickname everypony’s been calling me by it. I’m sick of it.”
“You mean ‘chicken’?” Sweetie Belle asked, stifling a snicker.
“Yeah, that one.” Scootaloo said flatly. “With this costume, maybe I can get the nickname ‘Eagle’. It's so much cooler than 'Chicken'.”
“Sorry Scoots, but once a chicken, always a chicken. Ain’t no costume gonna change that fact.” Apple Bloom chuckled.
Scootaloo shot her friend a glare.
“Well at least my costume's cool and recognizable. What are you supposed to be, again?”
“Ah’m a buffalo.” Apple Bloom said with a smile, “ah got the idea the last time me and mah sis went to Appleloosa to visit Braeburn and we met some of the buffalo in the local tribe.”
"Yeah, well I think the feathered head-dress is overkill." Scootaloo said, turning her attention back to the road ahead. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and Sweetie Belle snickered, getting a kick out of her friend's bickering.
The three fillies made their way over to Sugarcube corner, hoping to get some treats from the Cakes. Usually they’d pass out mini pastries to passing ponies on Nightmare Night. Once the fillies arrived, however, they froze in place and stared at the dark shop. The lights were off and there was a strange green glow coming from beneath the closed door of the shop. The three fillies, however, didn’t pay it much heed as their mind was on the lack of delicious baked goods that would result from the absence of the baking couple.
“Hey, I thought the cakes kept their shop open on Nightmare Night.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Maybe they got a stand set-up in the square.” Scootaloo said. “Come on guys, let’s...”
Before she could say anything else, there was a loud explosion behind them. Before the three fillies could turn around to see what produced such a bombastic sound, something pink was launched into them, sending all three ponies to the ground, pinning Scootaloo’s face into the dirt road.
“Mpfph...whpthp thpht...” Scootaloo mumbled; her muzzle firmly planted into the soft soil of the road as Pinkie Pie’s heavy cake-filled body lay sprawled on top of her. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both got up, not pinned under the weight of the pink pony like their unfortunate, feathered friend. They rubbed their head while Pinkie Pie sat up on Scootaloo, her mane wild and crazy- even more so than usual- and her face covered in black soot. She shook her head, dust flying out of her mane and creating a small cloud around her face.
“Wow, that was crazy!” Pinkie Pie said with a huge grin on her face.
“Pmpinkie Pwhie, gwet ophf ofph mwe.” Scootaloo mumbled from underneath the hyperactive mare that was using her like a pillow. Her face was now even further embedded in the ground. She could feel worms squirming on her muzzle.
Pinkie Pie looked down at the stuck filly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand, what do you want Scootaloo?”
“Gwet ophf ofph mwe!” Scootaloo screamed, more dirt entering her mouth and covering her tongue. She felt her body get pressed down more when Pinkie Pie leaned over, turning her head towards Scootaloo and a hoof behind her ear.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged a glance before Apple Bloom turned to Pinkie Pie and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Er, Pinkie Pie. Ah think she wants ya to get off of her.”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened, her mind having a clear “light-bulb” moment of clarity. “Oh! Sorry!”
Pinkie Pie bounced off of Scootaloo. The pegasus put both her front hooves onto the ground and pushed up until her muzzle- now covered in clay-like dirt and a few worms- was free from the road. After a few seconds of spitting and scrubbing her hoof against her mouth to rid it of the dirt, she turned to Pinkie Pie.
“Jeez Pinkie Pie, why did you crash into us like that?”
“Oh, no reason. I’m just trying to set up my super-scary frightening exhibit for Nightmare Night!” Pinkie said, rubbing the grime from her face but never losing her big, goofy expression. “It’s so super exciting!”
“What kind of exhibit would launch you from the shop like a rocket?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking from the still-open door of Sugarcube Corner to the Pink pony that exploded out of it moments before.
“A super-awesome one that I'm going to open soon!” Pinkie Pie said with a huge grin. “Hey, would you three like to hear what I did today? Oh, it was so exciting and fun it places up there with my best memories of Nightmare Night!”
The three fillies looked at each other. They didn’t want to stay for any longer than they had to since every second wasted talking to somepony or listening to somepony’s story was one less second they had to partake in the town’s festivities and candy collecting.
“We’d love to, but we’ve got a long night of candy-gathering and apple bobbing and stuff.” Scootaloo said, starting to get fidgety as her desperation for candy overtook her. She turned to leave only to be stopped when Pinkie Pie popped up in front of her, grin on her face. Where the pink mare had spontaneously appeared from was a mystery.
“Oh don’t worry; it’ll only take a minute!”
Scootaloo face-hoofed as her two friends slowly trotted over to Pinkie Pie, somewhat annoyed that she was keeping them from their night-time activities, but interested in her story nonetheless.
“You see, it all started about five hours ago...or was it six? Maybe six and a half?” Pinkie put her hoof to her chin in thought. “That’s what’s so funny about time; it’s so unpredictable that...”
“Pinkie!” all three fillies shouted. Scootaloo was the loudest of all, her own craving for snacks and games pulling at her mind, her hooves trotting in place as her desire to leave grew more and more.
“Oops, sorry.” Pinkie Pie said, “Anyways, it started when I was trying to set up Sugarcube Corner for tonight...”
“Okay, note to self. Cola and Mentos do not mix...especially when used as ingredients in an enormous cake.”
Pinkie Pie grabbed a nearby towel and started to dry herself off. Her pink coat drenched in the sticky liquid, sprayed up and into her face from the plastic bottle. She looked around the bakery and pouted. Not only was it a complete and utter mess- globs of exploded cake, flour and cola covered the floor, walls and ceiling- but it wasn’t the least bit frightening. A few plastic skeletons lay sprawled out on the floor, a few cardboard signs reading “boo!” nailed up onto the wall, a giant, wax sculpture of a pony Frankenstein-eyes half-closed and gazing into nothingness. Saying it wasn’t that scare would be like saying sugar was sweet, or Rarity loved dresses. Pinkie fell back onto her flank and pouted, sad eyes taking in the sad sight as she let out a sigh in defeat.
“Aw, I won't be able to scare anypony with a haunted house this pathetic.”
Just as she said it, one of the signs reading “boo” fell down from where it was stuck, landing on the floor with a solid “thud”, as if to mock the poor pony’s failures as a "scarer".
“There’s gotta be some way for me to add some spice to this place.” Pinkie Pie thought it over when she suddenly had a light-bulb moment. “Oh, I know! I’ll go over to Twilight’s place. Maybe she has a spell or something that can spookify this place up!”
Pinkie Pie stood up and looked over her mess and smiled, “Don’t worry Sugarcube Corner! Pinkie Pie’s on the case!”
Pinkie turned and exited the shop, slamming the door behind her. The force of the door closing was enough to send the remaining signs, the Frankenstein pony, and the cobwebs, tumbling to the ground.
Twilight stood in her kitchen, magically cutting up brownies to put into the oven. The oven beside her was already on, finishing the first batch she had concocted. Her cheeks were covered in flour and chocolate, a tall chef’s hat was placed on her head. She looked down at the tray of uncooked brownies she was about to put into the oven when the current batch was finished. Once she finished cutting them into small squares, she lowered the knife back onto the counter and stared into the tasty dessert. Smiling, she lowered her head, her horn glowing and she cast a spell onto the entire batch, or rather a series of spells in one aura.
She stood back up and smiled, satisfied with her work. As she did this, Spike sat on the ground directly in front of the oven, his eyes wide open and his tongue hanging out as he drooled, mentally picturing himself chowing down on the brownies baking within.
“So...what kind of brownies are these again?” Spike asked; his eyes still glued to the oven as the snacks entered their last minute of baking.
“I told you, they’re magical brownies that are given out to young ponies in Canterlot.” Twilight smiled, using her magic to lift her hat off and put it onto the counter. She then levitated the tray of uncooked brownies up to her. “Each one gives the pony that eats it a temporary ability or a change in their appearance based on tricks that I came up with- like changing colors, breathing fire, or...”
Spike turned his attention towards Twilight, marking it as the first time he took his waiting eyes off of the oven since the unicorn put the brownies in.
“Spell number twenty-five?” Spike asked eagerly.
Twilight chuckled and gave him a small nod. “Yep I included mustache growth as one of the tricks.”
“Sweet,” Spike said, turning his head back to the oven. “I just hope I get something other than breathing fire, I can do that just fine already.”
"Don't worry, I cast a fire-breathing trick on this uncooked batch, not the batch in the oven."
”DING!”
Twilight’s eyes lit up and she clapped her hooves together in delight.
‘Oh! They’re done!” Twilight said excitedly, trotting over to her oven to pull out the tasty treats. She trotted over to where Spike was sitting and placed the tray of brownies in front of him, a delectable scent wafting in the form of steam from the chocolaty goodness into the young dragon’s waiting nostrils. As soon as the smell hit his nose, Spike’s senses flared, a feeling of pure delight engulfed him like a blanket. He took a long, drawn deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell of baked brownie, before exhaling. His eyes were half-closed. His face was in an expression of pure bliss, like he was getting a massage from Rarity while he ate from a mountain of turquoise gems.
“Wow, I sure hope they taste as good as they smell.” Spike said, licking his chops and wiggling his fingers above the brownie tray.
Twilight slid the next tray of uncooked brownies into the oven and closed it. She then reset the timer and pressed “START”, watching as the timer began and the brownies began to cook.
Twilight smiled, “Now Spike, you can have one brownie for now...”
“Mphfone?” Spike mumbled.
Twilight turned to see her number one assistant sitting in front of an empty tray of brownies, his cheeks puffed to their limits, chocolate icing and crumbs smeared on his cheeks and slightly protruding stomach.
Twilight’s jaw dropped, “S-Spike...did you just eat all ten brownies?”
“Yep!” Spike said with a small belch, patting his stomach and letting out a sigh of content. “And they were quite exquisite, if I do say so myself.”
This response didn’t make the panic in Twilight’s face disappear. In fact, she looked even more horrified than she did before. Like Spike confirming his action pulled away any shred of hope she had left for the baby dragon’s predicament.
“But Spike! Each of those brownies has a different trick! Do you know what will happen now that you ate ten of them!?!”
Spike thought for a second before shrugging, “Meh, can’t help it now can I?”
Twilight was about to say something when there was a flash of white light where Spike was sitting.
FLASH
She covered her eyes with her right hoof to block the blinding rays of white light. Slowly, she lowered them to see Spike still sitting in the chair, only now his main body colors were blue and red-not green and purple. And on his stomach, which was now red, were the letters “ny” in lowercase, the tail of the “y” extending under the “n”.
“What?” Spike asked. Twilight gestured to his body. He looked down and screamed. “Gah! What happened?”
“That must be one of the effects that were included in the spell I cast.” Twilight said.
Horrified, the baby dragon stood up and ran over to a nearby body-length mirror that was leaning against the wall by the bookshelves. Twilight followed her assistant as he examined his new look in the mirror. To say he looked stunned would have been an understatement. The blue and red coloration on his body didn’t sit well with him.
“Ah! I look like a map of Ponyville during mayoral elections!” he said, looking at every inch of the front of his body before he turned to Twilight, “Twilight you’ve gotta fix this!”
“I can’t.” Twilight said. “It has to work its way out of your system. All the tricks put into those brownies need to.
“Dang it.” Spike sighed before his eyes lit up. “Wait! They’re temporary, right?”
Twilight nodded, “Yeah, they only last about a minute. Maybe less.”
“Well, at least it won’t last long.” Spike said with a sigh of relief before he turned back to his reflection. His eyes then landed on his stomach, and the bizarre letters that were printed on it.
“Why is there ‘ny’ on my stomach?” Spike asked. He then turned around in the mirror and stopped, noticing more, white writing on his back.
“And what in the hay does “Manning” mean? And why is there a big number ten?”
Twilight thought for a moment before she knew the answer.
“Oh! That’s right the color changing trick must’ve mixed with the ‘Elite’ trick.”
“What does Elite have to do with ‘Manning’?” Spike asked. Twilight was about to respond, but was cut off by another blinding flash of light.
FLASH
When the light disappeared, Twilight looked at Spike to see that his head was completely normal, but his body was the size of a mouse.
“I say! What the bloody hay happened to me?” Spike asked, freezing when he heard his voice. “Egad! What is wrong with my voice?”
Twilight face-hoofed. “That’s the Ritzy Voice changing trick, and the other is the body shrinking trick. I guess you’re going two tricks at a time.”
“I sound so fancy and sophisticated, like I just came back from a royal ball with Princess Celestia herself.”
“Ugh, Spike please shut it.” Twilight complained, pressing her ears to the side of her head. Spike, realizing the benefit of his temporary ailment, decided to make the most of it.
“Ah, so you don’t enjoy the ‘cultured’ Spike, eh Twilight, old chap?”
“Stop.” Twilight said flatly.
“Perhaps we should settle this over some tea and crumpets.” Spike said, putting his hands on his hips, a smug smile on his face.
“Spike, enough!”
“Pip-pip! Cheerio!”
“You can be so annoying sometimes!”
Spike started to enjoy what the spell did to his voice. He opened his mouth to continue annoying Twilight when he was engulfed in another flash of light.
FLASH
This time Spike first noticed the familiar sight of a long, hairy mustache curled up on his upper lip. Slowly feeling it in-between his finger and thumb, Spike smiled.
“Ah-hah! Spell number 25, now this I can live...” Spike froze. His voice was once again different, but not because it sounded ritzy, like it had before. “Um...why is my voice, like, all high pitched and girly?”
Spike looked between his legs and his...or ‘her’...eyes went wide in horror.
He shrieked. “Ahh!!! It’s gone! My pride!”
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth, trying not to snicker. Spike shot her a glare. “You think this is funny Twilight? I’m a girl!”
“I know,” Twilight said, chuckling, “But it serves you right for being so annoying with the last spell.”
Spike rolled up a pair of imaginary sleeves and put one hand onto her hip and the other held up, pointer finger sticking up and waving around, “Okay, like, you listen here Twilight...!”
FLASH
Spike was wearing a tuxedo and talking about dreams...but doing so in the Royal Canterlot voice.
“DREAMS FEEL REAL WHILE WE’RE IN THEM. IT’S ONLY WHEN WE WAKE UP THAT WE REALIZE SOMETHING WAS ACTUALLY STRANGE!”
Twilight grimaced, plugging her hooves into her ears.
“Ow! You’re going to break my eardrums!” she shouted.
“THOU ART WAITING FOR A TRAIN...!”
“SPIKE!” Twilight shouted just in time for another flash.
FLASH
Spike’s body was covered in zebra stripes, but this time that seemed to be the only trick cast on him. He looked himself over and spoke, “I wonder if these zebra stripes have made me become the rhyming type.”
Twilight smirked and Spike’s expression fell flat.
“Aw! Son of a gun.”
He realized he rhymed again and raised his fists into the air, ready to curse when...
FLASH
Spike was now an exact copy Twilight. From his purple hooves to his star-laden cutie mark. He looked exactly like his sister figure. Though he wasn’t really a “he” anymore, marking his second gender change in the span of a couple of minutes.
Spike examined him...er...herself while Twilight just stared, mouth agape and eyes wide. Even a mind as complex as hers was having trouble processing what she saw. Spike sat down on her flank and started rubbing the back of her neck with a lavender hoof.
“Um...well...this certainly is awkward.” Spike said Twilight’s voice.
Twilight could only bring herself to slowly nod when there was a final FLASH and Spike returned to his normal self, having gone through all twelve tricks. The last trick clearly sucked out all of his energy. He looked exhausted, panting and sweating from his little ordeal.
“No...more...brownies...ever!” he mumbled before falling backwards onto the floor, eyes closed and body limp. Realizing that he was asleep, Twilight used her magic to levitate him over to the couch. She gently lowered him onto the soft cushion. Her aura disappeared and she let out a sigh of relief, glad that the entire ordeal was over.
She turned to leave when she was stopped by a familiar pink face dropping down in front of her.
“Heya Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said, grinning at her stunned friend.
“Ahh!” Twilight leapt back, falling onto the floor with her eyes wide. When she realized who it was, her shocked expression immediately became angry. “Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie Pie fell, back-down, to the ground, what she was holding onto to keep herself suspended in the air, not even the brilliant Twilight Sparkle knew. She got up on all four hooves, and took a giant hop closer to where Twilight lay before leaning into her, their faces pressed up against each other.
“Hey Twilight, I wanted to ask if you knew any super cool, spooky spells that could help me turn Sugarcube Corner into a totally awesome Haunted House for tonight.”
Twilight scowled. “Pinkie, can I have some space please?” she raised her hoof and gently pressed her friend’s face away from her. “You’re suffocating me with your bakery-scented perfume”
Pinkie Pie shook her head, “Oh my smell isn't from perfume. My fur and mane are just covered in cake ingredients.” Pinkie Pie put her hoof to her mane and pulled a long, thick strand of what appeared to be batter from it.
“Ewwww, that's disgusting.” Twilight recoiled, sticking out her tongue.
“Nope, just cake batter.” Pinkie said, pulling out the batter and licking it off of her hoof like a lollipop. She then put her hoof down and grinned at her annoyed friend.
“So, Twilight, do you have anything that could help me?”
“For a haunted house?” Twilight asked, her annoyed expression gone. After all, she when a friend needed her help, she’d be there. No matter how annoying they were being.
She gave her hyperactive friend a nod. “Yeah, probably. Just give me a second to look through my books.” Twilight got onto her hooves. “Is there anything specific you had in mind?”
“Oh, I don’t know. If you can create spooky ghosts or icky, sticky cobwebs that look authentically spider-made, that would be great!”
Twilight nodded, “Okay, give me a second. Let me get my spell book.”
Twilight turned and trotted off towards one of the massive bookshelves that lined the walls of her library home.
While Twilight went to go search for whatever book would help solve the dilemma, Pinkie Pie decided to let her eyes wander the library. It didn’t look any different than it usually did, except with a few little Nightmare Night decorations, such as a couple of jack-o-lanterns, some faux cobwebs, and a plastic tombstone. She saw Spike on the couch, sleeping with loud snores escaping his mouth. She then looked towards one of the walls, where a large device was placed. It looked like a large laser-gun, metallic and silver, on a set of four wheels, ready to be moved at a moment’s notice. She tilted her head in bewilderment.
“Hey, what’s that?” she asked Twilight before trotting closer to the strange device.
Twilight looked down from the ladder she was currently standing at the top of.
“Huh? Oh, that’s my new invention, the Portal Creator 2000.” Twilight said.
“Portal Creator 2000? Wow, it sounds so...portally.” Pinkie Pie reached out towards the device.
“It’s still a work in progress. So keep your hooves off of it.”
But Pinkie Pie didn’t hear her, and even if she did she probably wouldn't have done anything differently. All of her attention was on a big, red button located on the side of the device. Not surprisingly, the little bit of common sense Pinkie Pie had lost out to her overwhelming curiosity.
“Ooooh, I wonder what this does.” Pinkie Pie pressed hoof into the button. There was a loud “whirring” sound as a glowing section of the laser began to spin around and around, the device pointing into nothingness.
“Pinkie! What did you...wah!” Twilight screamed. Her focus on Pinkie’s carelessness caused her to lose her balance on the ladder. She tumbled down, hitting almost every step before landing face-down on the floor. She groggily lifted her face up, her eyes crossed and horn throbbing. She shook her head, trying to rid her vision of the spinning stars; she looked up to see the laser fire off a beam of green light. It hit the air, spreading so that the end of the beam of light was circular.
Pinkie Pie trotted over to her downed friend, “Oops, sorry Twilight...”
She stuck her hoof out to help her friend up. Twilight pushed it away and stood up, horrified eyes bearing into Pinkie’s clueless ones’.
“Pinkie! Do you realize what you’ve done!?!” Twilight shouted, though she didn't know either.
“Um..” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin in thought, her eyes wandering behind Twilight and towards where the laser was pointed. “Oh! I know! Did I open a portal to a dimension filled with flesh-eating zombies?”
Twilight looked at her friend, confused about her specificity. “What?”
Pinkie pointed behind Twilight. Slowly, the unicorn turned around, her eyes landing on where the laser had pointed moments before. The beam of light was still on full-blast, but she didn't notice. Her attention was on the sight of four zombie ponies climbing out of the portal. Their manes were mangy and matted; their flesh torn and green. Once out of the portal, the zombies' tired-looking eyes scanned the library until they landed on the two mares. Groaning, they made their way to the ponies in front of them, just as the beam cut off and the portal closed.
Twilight looked absolutely terrified while Pinkie Pie just grinned, as if all her fantasies were coming true.
“Oh...no...” Twilight muttered, slowly backing away. Pinkie Pie did as well, but her inner joy was clear as day.
“Oh, this is perfect Twilight!” she said, still backing up with her terrified friend as the zombies approached, walking at a ridiculously slow pace. “Can I use these zombies in my haunted house tonight? Huh? Pretty please?”
“Pinkie! This isn’t a game.” Twilight said with a tone of harshness, though her fear was all too clear.
“Really? It seems like a game. I mean, there are portals and zombies.” Pinkie Pie said, but Twilight’s attention was on something else entirely. Or rather, someone.
“Spike!” she screamed at the still sleeping dragon. He started to stir just as one of the zombie ponies reached him, towering over the baby dragon like a green statue. Globs of drool dripped from its green lips onto Spike's face. Spike sleepily wiped the gooey liquid off of his cheek. He started to open his eyes.
“Uh...what’s going on?”
“Uuuuuuggghhhhhhh....” the zombie moaned.
“Hm?” Spike said, eyes still half-closed, “Twilight, is that you?”
“Uuuuggghhhhhhh......”
“Have you been drinking Applejack’s special cider agai....AHHHHH!” Spike screamed, looking up into the soulless eyes of the zombie pony that stood above him. Its eyes were wide and mouth open, saliva dripping down onto the dragon’s face. Spike threw his hands over his head preparing for the worst, when there was a “pop” and Spike was gone. He reappeared next to Twilight, still shivering with his hands above his head. His eyes were clenched shut like he was a toddler watching a horror movie. Finally he opened his eyes to see that he was at a safer distance, but that the zombies were approaching.
“T-twilight, why are there zombies in the library!?!” he asked.
“Pinkie turned on my spooky ray and it opened a portal to a dimension of zombie-ponies!” Twilight screamed, panic overtaking her.
“We have to get out of here, and quick!” Spike pleaded, grabbing his unicorn friend by the foreleg, a pleading look in his eyes as he tried to pull her towards the door.
“No, we can’t leave the zombies unattended, what if they get loose and start terrorizing the town? We have to get rid of them!”
“But how?”
“Hey!” Pinkie Pie shouted. Both Twilight and Spike looked up to see the pink pony standing about one foot in front of a hungry zombie.
“Pinkie! What on Earth are you doing!?!” Twilight shouted. She closed her eyes and started to charge up her horn, ready to teleport her friend away when she heard giggling. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Pinkie Pie being bitten by the zombie pony, but she wasn’t screaming.
She was laughing.
“Oh! Stop! He-he! It tickles!” she giggled, the zombie pony still glomping onto her neck like she were a sugary doughnut. Both Twilight and Spike stared in complete shock at what they saw. One of the zombie ponies were biting their friend, but she wasn’t bleeding, turning into a zombie, or anything terrible that was promised from the countless zombie books and movies Twilight read.
Nope, Pinkie Pie just kept laughing like she was at a comedy club.
“Um...Twilight? What’s going on? Why is Pinkie Pie not getting eaten?” Spike asked, tugging Twilight’s mane in an attempt to get her attention.
Twilight squinted, focusing on the zombie pony. Suddenly, she stopped squinting and adopted a look of pure disbelief.
“Oh my gosh, that zombie pony it...it doesn’t have any teeth.”
Spike looked at Twilight in confusion before turning around and looking at the zombie, who was nipping at Pinkie Pie, or rather mouthing her with its gums. She then looked at the other zombies, and noticed that each of them lacked teeth.
“He-he, you feel like gummy!” Pinkie giggled before walking away from the toothless zombie pony.
Twilight shook her head, “Wait...how can zombies have no teeth? Don’t they eat flesh?”
Pinkie Pie giggled, “Silly Twilight. These aren’t those kinds of zombies. They’re cookie eating zombies!”
“C-cookie eating?” both Twilight and Spike uttered in unison, as if repeating what their friend said would make it sound more ludicrous.
“Yeah! Watch!” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a chocolate-chip cookie. She turned back to her friends, “In case of cookie emergency.”
with a wink, she turned and walked over to the zombie ponies and handed one of them a part of the cookie. She then shoved it into the zombie pony’s mouth. Its eyes bulged at first, but when he realized what was in his mouth, he began to chew; its gums mashed the cookie until it was easy enough to swallow. Its face lit up in a smile.
“Their gums are strong enough to eat cookies, but not strong enough to break skin.” Pinkie giggled. She then tossed another cookie at one of the other zombies, who caught the treat in its mouth before sitting back on its haunches and eating it like a rat would eat cheese, holding the cookie in booth hooves and nibbling at it. The other two zombie ponies trotted over excitedly, smiling at Pinkie as they waited for their turn to eat.
“See they’re harmless.”
“But...but how did you know they eat cookies?” Spike asked.
“I asked.” Twilight and Spike exchanged a look, and Pinkie Pie just looked confused, “What? Doesn’t everypony speak zombie?”
“Um...no.” Twilight said.
“Pfft.” Pinkie waved them off before turning to the four zombies, “Ugh, Ugh-ugh...blah-blah.”
“Uhhhhhhhh-ha-ha-uhhhh.” The zombies groaned with what sounded like laughter at the end.
“Haha! You guys are a riot.” Pinkie Pie giggled as her friend and dragon stared at her like she had three heads. “So Twilight, would it be okay if I borrow these four for my haunted house tonight?”
“Um....” Twilight started, but that was enough for Pinkie Pie to take as a “yes”.
“Great!” she said, before turning to the zombies, “Uhhh, uh-uhhhhhh.”
“Uhhhhhhh.” The zombie ponies nodded, all smiling in a very goofy manner, licking their lips as images of cookies filled their mind. Pinkie Pie laughed as she led the horde of now harmless and smiling zombie ponies out of the library. Spike and Twilight just kept staring into the space that the zombies had just been in, only the slamming of the door snapped them out of their confusion.
“Twilight...is Pinkie Pie for real?”
Twilight shook her head, “She is a unique individual, that’s for sure.”
“...and that’s how I helped a cow give birth!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other, perplexity in their faces from, what had to be, one of the most random things they ever heard in their life. Not just the story, but Pinkie’s random trailing off at the end into something that didn't have anything to do with the story.
“When in the hay did you help a cow give birth?” Scootaloo asked, still annoyed that they had to sit through the entire story when they had so many fun activities to do.
“Oops, sorry that was another time,” Pinkie Pie said, looking down at Apple Bloom, “actually I was helping your sister. You see, Daisy Jo the cow was ...”
“Ooookkayyy....” Sweetie Belle said, now feeling a bit of Scootaloo’s own annoyance. “Thanks for telling us the story Pinkie, but...”
“UUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!” came a loud moan from inside Sugarcube Corner.
All three fillies screamed, throwing their hooves around each other. Pinkie Pie turned back to the shop.
“Oh! And ‘Ughh’ back at you Mister Impatient-Pants!” she giggled, turning back to the three terrified fillies. She waved her hoof. “Sheesh, zombies. They get so cranky if you don't give them their cookies.”
“Um...Pinkie Pie, what was that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Are those the cookie zombies you told us about?” Scootaloo asked.
“Huh?” Pinkie Pie asked, momentarily confused before what the little pegasus asked sunk in. “Oh yeah,that was the story I was telling. Yep, they’re in there and ready to scare all of the little colts and fillies that stop by tonight!”
“You brought real zombies into your haunted house?”
“Real cookie-eating zombie ponies, to be exact.” Pinkie Pie corrected, “which reminds me. I have to finish gluing dentures onto their gums.”
The three fillies screamed.
“Are ya crazy, Pinkie Pie!?! They'll eat ponies if you give them teeth!” Apple Bloom asked.
Pinkie Pie giggled, patting the filly on the head.
“Oh Apple Bloom, you silly little filly. Just because they have teeth, doesn’t mean they eat meat. They’re morally opposed to it!"
“So you have....vegan zombies?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Pinkie Pie nodded, “Ya-huh. They're vegan, cookie-eating zombies that will scare the pants off anypony that walks into Sugarcube Corner tonight!”
All three fillies relaxed a little at the news, just as another set of moans came from the bakery.
“Ughhhhhhh!”
“Okay! Okay! I’m coming! Ugh-uhhhhhh!” Pinkie Pie shouted back before turning to the little fillies, “Have a good night you three, and be sure to stop by Sugarcube Corner later for some frights!”
“Thank ya, Pinkie Pie!” Apple Bloom said, trotting after her two friends, both of whom were already halfway down the road, leaving the waving pink pony behind. Pinkie Pie then let out a happy sigh and turned around, trotting back towards the entrance of the bakery.
“Hey! Who wants cookies and another cola and mentos demonstration? Uhhhhh? Ugh-uhhhh?”
“UHHHHHH!!!!” the zombies shouted back in joyful unison, ready for their next batch of sweets and entertainment.
Chapter 2: The Prankster Pegasus
“Come on girls, we’re wasting time! We need to get some candy.” Sweetie Belle said, leading the troupe of fillies down the road. The streets were starting to clear up a bit; most ponies had finished their candy obtaining and were either heading over to the center of town or to Pinkie Pie’s haunted house which, unbeknownst to them, was filled with cookie-eating zombies. Even worse, most homes and buildings were dark. Most of the adults had either left for the town square to partake in the festivities, or had already gone off to bed.
“Dang it, almost all of the houses are dark!” Apple Bloom complained, stomping her hoof into the ground.
Scootaloo groaned. “I told you we shouldn’t have let Pinkie Pie tell us that stupid story, now we’re behind schedule.”
The trio continued to stand in the middle of the street, looking around for lighted houses. However, not one of them turned their attention up, which is why they remained completely oblivious to the ominous cloud drifting their way.
“Maybe we could try Twilight’s library?” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“You think she’s still there?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah, maybe she and Spike went out.” Apple Bloom added.
The dark cloud hovered just above the three fillies. On top sat a sky-blue pegasus wearing armor, as if she were about to jump into the middle of a coliseum and battle tigers.
“You mean after everything Spike went through with the brownies and zombies?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I don’t know, don’t you think he’d be sort of...”
BOOM!
“AHHHH!” the three fillies screamed in unison as a bright light flashed above them, coupled with the terrifying, whip-like crack of thunder. The three friends threw their hooves around each other and began to shiver. Suddenly, there was a loud outburst of laughter coming from directly above them. They looked up to see a black cloud floating above them, bouncing up and down as somepony was clearly having a giggle-fit on it. Rainbow Dash’s head popped out from the top of the cloud, a huge grin on her face as she looked down at her prank victims, still visibly shaken by her action.
“Bwahaha! You three should see the looks on your faces! Priceless!” Rainbow Dash laughed, pointing at the three fillies, all of whom seemed annoyed- except for Scootaloo, who was beaming like she usually did when in the presence of her hero.
“Very funny Rainbow Dash.” Sweetie Belle said flatly.
“Yeah! You sure got us good!” Scootaloo said with a snicker, earning glares from her two friends. She turned back to them and shrugged, “What? She did.”
The fillies rolled their eyes and looked up at Rainbow Dash.
“Why are ya pranking us like that anyway?” Apple Bloom asked.
Rainbow Dash put her hoof to her chin as she ‘thought’ over the question before shrugging, “I don’t know. I guess it’s because I feel like it?” she said, laughing like she was just asked the dumbest question of all time. “I’m a prankster, you three know that.”
“Yeah but after Luna scared you last year, I thought you would’ve learned your lesson.” Sweetie Belle muttered.
“Oh, that?” Rainbow Dash scoffed, “Eh, she got me good, I’ll give her that much. But it wasn’t enough to get me to change my ways. Pranking isn’t a game, it’s a lifestyle, and it’ll take a lot more than one moment of weakness to get me to stop doing it.”
“But why do you have to prank everypony? Can’t ya just enjoy Nightmare Night for the games and candy and fun stuff?” Apple Bloom asked.
Rainbow Dash shook her head, ‘“Nah, I’ll stick with the pranking.” She then turned to see a group of three mares standing nearby, all chatting and completely oblivious to the storm-cloud riding pegasus. An evil smile spread across Rainbow Dash’s face. “Now, if you three will excuse me, I’ve got some other unsuspecting ponies to scare.”
Grinning, Rainbow Dash turned to zip off.
“Wait! Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash stopped and turned to see Scootaloo looking up at her, a set of violet eyes full of wonder and excitement.
Rainbow Dash sighed, “What do you want, squirt?”
“Could you tell us about your favorite Nightmare Night?” Scootaloo asked, earning glares from her two friends. She turned to them and shrugged, “I’m interested.”
“Weren’t ya the one that wanted ta ditch Pinkie Pie the most?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yeah, why are you suddenly patient now?” Sweetie Belle added.
“Because it’s Rainbow Dash! Duh!” Scootaloo said, giving her idol the biggest smile she could muster. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but blush, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof awkwardly as she giggled.
“He-he, are you sure? It’s sort of long.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Um...” Sweetie Belle began, imagining all the tasty treats they were missing out on.
“Well...” Apple Bloom said, thinking about all of the activities that had been set up in the center of town.
“Yeah! We’d love to hear it!” Scootaloo said, cutting off her two friends, who both looked at her as if she’d slapped them across the face. Before either of them could scold their orange friend, Rainbow Dash was already off.
“Well, if you three really want to know.” Rainbow Dash flew directly in front of the fillies, clearing her throat to speak. Scootaloo sat on her flank, hooves under her chin as she looked up at Rainbow Dash, her eyes filled with wonder. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom simply had bemused expressions on their faces.
Rainbow Dash began her story. “My favorite Nightmare Night had to be back when I lived in Cloudsdale. It was the year after I got my cutie mark, back when I was still a filly.”
Rainbow Dash shivered as a cool breeze blew through her mane. She stood in the middle of the street, surrounded by cloud-made architecture and costumed pegasi on all sides. Her Wonderbolts costume fit snug against her body, hiding her recently-obtained cutie mark from view. She was alone, the only thing keeping her outside in the chilly weather was the promise of treats.
”Brrr, it’s so chilly out here. This candy better be worth it.”
She looked around. Most ponies were travelling in groups, fluttering down the lane, laughing with small bags in their mouths, full of treats. A pang of loneliness overcame Rainbow Dash. Here she was, on one of the most celebrated nights of the year, alone and without anypony to share it with. She tucked her tail between her legs and sighed.
”I just wish I had someone to hang out with.”
The downtrodden filly slunk her way down the white street, head held low. Normally she’d try to look stoic, even when she was alone. Yet this time, under the guise of her strikingly blue Wonderbolts uniform, she felt some sense of security from the outside world where she was able to let her guard down just a bit.
A cool breeze blew through her exposed mane and tail, messing them both up further. Not that it bothered her that much- she hated a kempt mane anyway. Her style was one of rebellion and the inability to be tamed, much like how she viewed herself.
Unfortunately, even the most hardened, tough ponies out there tend to get lonely if they can’t seem to make any friends.
The streetlights leading her way down the street, Rainbow Dash continued looking for the next house she’d hit. Her mind was reeling with a mixture of fretting over her loneliness and a desire to drown her sorrows in the deliciousness that was milk chocolate and candies handed out by residents. The one thing her mind wasn’t on was the looming shadow that hovered over her like a threatening apparition, ready to swoop down and engulf her.
She finally noticed the ground at her hooves grow darker, followed by her entire body. Her eyes went wide and she stopped moving. Before a single syllable could escape her lips there was the familiar crack of thunder behind her. Yelping, turned towards the side of the road where there was a stack of cardboard boxes, towering above like a silent protector. She dove behind them, crouched down with her hooves over her head as if she was avoiding an incoming airstrike. Rainbow cowered there until she heard a mix of laughter from above
“Haha! I got you good!” Somepony said, their voice young and cracking.
Slowly , Rainbow Dash poked her head out from behind the stack of boxes. Hovering just above the area she had been standing moments before was a black storm cloud; on it was a little filly, dressed up in what appeared to be a costume of feathers- like a bird. She was also laughing non-stop, which annoyed Rainbow Dash to no end.
“Ha-ha, very funny.” Rainbow Dash said, creeping out from behind the stack of boxes. “Shouldn’t you be at a farm somewhere, chicken?”
“Hey!” the pegasus screamed, hopping from the cloud and landing onto the ground. From the close proximity, coupled with her now being directly under a street-light, Rainbow Dash was able to make out her lilac-colored coat and periwinkle mane, cut in a tom-boyish manner much like Rainbow’s own. Despite that, she looked more like a young Cloudchaser. Rainbow could see her cutie mark, three raindrops that matched the color of her mane.
The cyan filly could also see her costume more clearly: It was composed of white and brown feathers that were glued to a cloth that simply draped over her body.
“I am not a chicken! I’m an Eagle!” She exclaimed defensively.
“Hold on a sec!” Scootaloo screamed, halting her idol from telling the story. “You called your friend a chicken, and she was dressed like an eagle. Did this really happen or are you just messing with me?.”
Rainbow Dash, seemingly clueless to what the Eagle-dressed Scootaloo was driving at, cocked an eyebrow.
“No, why would I be messing with you?”
“Well because...” Scootaloo started saying, only to stop. She sat down on her flank, forelegs crossed and a pout on her face. She sighed. “Nevermind.”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom couldn’t help but snicker, earning a piercing glare from their pegasus pal as Rainbow Dash continued.
“Now, as I was saying...”
Rainbow, who was now eye-to-eye with the clearly confrontational filly, scoffed. “Pfft, yeah sure. Why don’t you go off and scare somepony else.”
Rainbow Dash pushed her way past, making her way down the road when the filly called after her.
“Well you’re all alone, so you’re a much better target.”
Rainbow Dash froze. She turned around, a fire welling up from within her. Before the lavender filly could say anything more, Rainbow Dash flew at her. She came to a halt just in front of the pegasus, so close that their noses were pressed against the others’.
“Are you saying that I don’t have friends?”
“What are you talking about?” The filly said, clearly taken aback by Rainbow Dash’s confrontational tone.
“Don’t play dumb with me, I know your kind.” Rainbow Dash spat, stepping away from the confused pegasus filly.
“Always mocking me behind my back, laughing. Saying things like ‘oh, that Rainbow Dash is a real piece of work, all she does is brag and talk about how great she is.’” The cyan pegasus turned to the now silent prankster. “Like you know anything about me.”
Rainbow Dash turned to leave, but stopped when she felt something warm and soft land on her back. She looked behind her to see the pegasus filly had draped a tiny wing across her back and looked into her eyes with sadness.
“Hey look, I didn’t mean to hurt you any. I was just having a little fun.”
“Yeah, sure.” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. She wasn’t willing to buy into what she thought was a half-baked apology brought forth by pity rather than genuine regret. “I have to get going.”
She extended her wings and started to get airborne when she was pulled back to the cloud-ground. She turned to see the filly. No longer did she look cocky and prideful. Instead, she now looked somewhat saddened. Her eyes were filled with either concern or pity- Rainbow was too angry to bother deciding which.
“You’re really going around on Nightmare Night by yourself?”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to shoot off one of the hot-headed comebacks she had stocked in her mental holster. Something brash and cocky- just like the attitude she projected. But she couldn’t. Her mouth closed as she looked into the filly’s eyes. It didn’t look like she was putting on an act, her melancholy look was genuine. Still, Rainbow Dash didn’t completely trust her and kept her guard up.
“What do you care?” She asked bitterly.
The filly shrugged. “I’m just curious.” She said, looking away with shame in her eyes. “It would be sad to hear that you didn’t have anypony to hang out with tonight. Nopony should be alone on Nightmare Night.”
“Bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “I don’t see you hanging around with anypony. You are as alone as me.”
“Yeah.” the filly said quietly, so Rainbow Dash could barely make it out. “But my situation is different.”
“Really? How so?” Rainbow asked. The filly opened her mouth to respond, but quickly closed it. She looked down, face blushing and ears flattened against the top of her head. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes
“Right, I’m leaving.” She turned to walk off. She only managed to get a couple of feet when the filly landed in front of her.
“Cut that out!” Rainbow Dash complained, trying to walk around, but every time she tried, the filly found a way to block her path. Rainbow Dash could feel herself start to become more aggravated. “Quit it!”
“Look,” the filly said. She stuck her hoof out and placed it onto Rainbow Dash’s shoulder to prevent her from flying away. “Before you storm off I want to ask you...if you’d like to hang out tonight. You know, seeing as you’re alone.”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head. “Huh? What do you mean hang out?”
“You know, get candy, walk around, and talk about nonsense. Fun stuff like that.” the filly said, smiling.
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to shoot down the offer, but found that the words wouldn’t come. It was like they were stuck in her throat, wanting to come out yet they were being held back. Slowly, she closed her mouth and looked down, conceding to the stranger filly.
“Fine.”
The filly smiled. “Awesome,” she stuck her hoof out. “By the way, my name’s Lilac Storm.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went wide. “Wow, that’s a cool name.”
The filly, Lilac, chuckled. “Yeah, what’s yours?”
“I’m Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash said, with much less enthusiasm than normal.
“Sweet, I actually think your’s is nicer.” Lilac said.
Rainbow Dash answered with a simple shrug. “Whatever. Look, if you really want to do this whole ‘hanging out’ thing, I need to lay out a few ground rules. First, you’ve gotta be cool enough to be seen with me.”
“Cool enough?” Lilac asked, her head tilted.
“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said, puffing her chest out and rubbing her hoof on it, like she was polishing them. “Sort of like me.”
“You? Cool?” Lilac asked with a bemused expression. “You do realize that you’ve been walking around Cloudsdale on Nightmare Night, alone? Don’t you?”
“Coolness is more than just how many friends you have.”
“It is?”
Rainbow Dash nodded. She reached into her saddle-bag, trying to fish out what she wanted. “It isn’t determined by popularity, that’s awesomeness. Coolness deals with how well you present yourself, no matter how jealous everypony else is of your flying ability.”
Lilac rolled her eyes. “Yes. Clearly that’s why you aren’t popular. Not because of your gigantic ego or your arrogant attitude.”
“Whatever, it’s not like I’m new to being judged. Here you go.” Rainbow Dash said, plopping a pair of sunglasses onto the filly’s face. Lilac just kept still. Had her eyes been visible, they would most likely have shown an expression of pure irritation.
“Sunglasses?” She asked, annoyance in her voice.
“Yep.” Rainbow Dash said, squinting as she assessed the ‘coolness’ of Lilac. “Hm...I think you should need a hat.”
The cyan pegasus pulled a cap out from her bag and put it onto her friend’s head, the brim facing back. Rainbow Dash looked Lilac over before shaking her head.
“Nope, I overdid the coolness and moved right into radicalness.” She took the hat off and stuffed it back into her bag. Putting her hoof to her chin in thought, she looked over Lilac who now only wore the sunglasses.
She gave a small shrug. “Close enough.”
Lilac sighed. “Okay, now can we get going?”
“Sure thing.” Rainbow Dash said, a touch more enthusiasm was present in her voice. “So, what do you want to do?”
A sly smirk spread across Lilac’s face. “Pull pranks on other ponies, of course.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went wide in excitement.
“So, I wasn’t a target you singled out. You really were just going around pulling random pranks.”
“Yep.” Lilac said, nodding.
Rainbow Dash looked from side to side. She turned back to Lilac. “Do you take requests for pranking victims?”
“That depends.” She leaned closer to Rainbow Dash, a devious look on her face. “Who did you have in mind?”
Rainbow Dash grinned.
“Hey dude, come on! We don’t have all night.”
“I’m almost done, guys. Just a few more seconds.” Score said with a snicker, spray-painting the side of the Cloudsdale Flight School gym. Dumb-Bell and Hoops watched as their friend completed his message. Once done, Score walked away from the wall. He looked over his work with a satisfied grin while Hoops and Dumb-Bell did the same. They read the blue-painted message: ‘School iz for chumpz’
“Whoa.” Hoops said, staring up.
“Dude...” Dumb-Bell said, staring up in shock. Slowly, he looked back down at the satisfied Score. His mouth curled into a smile. “That’s so awesome!”
“Darn straight!” Score said, flying over to his friends and giving them each a nice, solid hoof-bump as they continued to rain praise down upon him. Meanwhile, about twenty yards away, both Rainbow Dash and Lilac Storm were peeking out from behind a tree- observing the three colts’ delinquency.
“That’s who you want to prank?” Lilac asked Rainbow.
“Uh-huh.” Rainbow Dash confirmed, a demonic grin on her face. “This will be awesome, and totally easy.”
“How is it easy?”
“Let’s just say these guys aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.”
“Not the most original either.” Lilac muttered. “I mean, they spray-painted the blandest message of all time.” Suddenly Lilac took on a much more sarcastic tone. “Oh, you turned the ‘s’ into ‘z’. Truly, you are a master at creativity.”
“Ssshhh.” Rainbow Dash shushed. “They’re coming. Are you ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Lilac said with a sigh. “Keep them busy and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Got it.” Rainbow Dash said before she stepped out into the street. She made her way over to the three, dopey pegasi jocks, whistling a tune. As she drew near, the laughter ceased. It was quickly replaced by a harsh whispering. The three colts, with the smuggest of expressions on their faces, trotted over to Rainbow Dash.
“Well, well, well...” said Hoops. “If it isn’t Rainbow Crash.”
“Hey guys, how’s it hanging?” Rainbow Dash asked, smirking at the colts in an attempt to seem as cocky as possible.
“What do you want?” Dumb-Bell asked, taking a step towards Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, there aren’t any mares around, so you can’t possible looking for somepony to ask to the ball.” Score said, laughing a little as his juvenile joke. But Rainbow Dash was unfazed, used to being made fun of and being called a ‘fillyfooler’, which wasn’t true in the slightest.
“Just seeing what you guys are up to.” Rainbow Dash said, craning her neck to see the graffiti-laden wall behind the three colts. “Doing a little spray-painting I see.”
“This is none of your business.” Dumb-Bell said, leaning close to the filly. “And you best keep your little mouth shut.”
Rainbow Dash flinched, but it wasn’t from fear. It was from something else entirely.
“Geez,” she gagged, covering her nose with a hoof. “I know you guys like to be rebels and all, but would it kill you to have a breath-mint every now and then?”
Dumb-Bell’s tough-guy expression fell. Blushing a bit, he pulled back, breathing into his hoof and sniffing. His eyes bulged when the smell hit his nostrils. Rainbow Dash had to fight the urge to break out into a torrent of laughter, watching as Dumb-Bell retched at the smell of his own breath.
Hoops and Score walked over to Rainbow Dash, now perfectly lined up with the queasy-looking Dumb-Bell. Rainbow Dash kept smiling, watching as a very shifty Lilac Storm flew behind the trio, holding something sharp and silver. It glistened under the moonlight.
“Why don’t you just run along little filly?” Hoops asked, leaning towards Rainbow Dash.
“Um...sure thing.” Rainbow Dash said, smiling. “I just wanted to ask you guys something real quick.”
“We’re listening.” Hoops said.
Rainbow Dash, realizing that he was right where she wanted him, put on the most competitive face she could muster.
“I was wondering if you were down for a little race around the track tomorrow. Loser has to eat the cafeteria food for a week.”
The three colts let out a collective gasp. No student that could afford a home-made meal ate from the school cafeteria. It was so utterly disgusting- rumors spread saying that pigs who were fed leftovers died of food poisoning. Rainbow Dash looked down at her hoof, like there wasn’t a glimmer of doubt that she’d be victorious.
“So we’ll meet at the track right after school?” She glanced up at her competitors with a smirk.
Scowling, the three colts looked at each other, their eyes silently consulting over the terms of the polychromatic pegasus’ proposal. They then looked back at Rainbow Dash.
“You’ve got a deal.” The three colts said at the same time. When they turned to fly off, Rainbow Dash started cracking up as if she were in a comedy club. They froze and turned around, glaring at the giggling filly.
“What in the hay is so funny?” Score asked.
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about a funny joke one of my friends told me earlier.”
“You don’t have any friends.” Dumb-Bell hissed. Rainbow Dash’s cocky expression disappeared. She suddenly looked hurt, and then enraged. The three colts flew off into the night. Unbeknownst to them, the back part of their manes had been clipped off, leaving them partially bald.
Lilac Storm landed beside Rainbow Dash, twirling around a pair of scissors with a victorious grin.
“He-he, cue-balled losers didn’t even notice me. Betcha they’ll be so embarrassed that they don’t even show up for your little race tomorrow.” Lilac said, but Rainbow Dash was barely listening. Her head hung low, her ears flattened and her tail tucked neatly between her legs. She started to sniffle, tears rolling down her cheek and landed on the ground. Lilac looked down at her, her smile gone and face full of concern. “Hey, Rainbow are you okay?”
She didn’t answer. The truth was that Rainbow Dash had never felt such an emotional buck to the gut. Sure, she wasn’t the most popular filly, but she had never realized just how unpopular she was. For the first time it dawned on her that what Dumb-Bell said was right. She had nopony to call her friend. She fell back onto her flank so she was in a sitting position.
“What’s wrong?” Lilac asked. “Please don’t tell me those stupid-heads made you feel bad.”
“They’re stupid,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “But they’re right. I don’t have any friends.”
“Well, I’m your friend.” Lilac said, placing a hoof onto Rainbow’s back.
“Who’d be there to cheer me on?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Heck, who could I even go celebrate my victory with.”
“You could celebrate with me.” Lilac said, but it didn’t do any good. Rainbow Dash couldn’t hold back anymore- burying her face in her hooves, she burst into tears. She felt Lilac wrap her hooves around her. It did make her feel a little better, but only by so very little.
“Come on,” Lilac muttered. “I know the perfect place we can go.”
“A cemetery?”
“Yep.” Lilac said, gesturing Rainbow Dash inside. The cyan pegasus took a step forward and froze, gazing up at the creepy, black gate. The twisted metal seemed to be reaching out, as if trying to strangle her or drag her into the darkness within the boneyard.
Lilac chuckled. “What, are you scared or something?”
At the word ‘scared’, Rainbow Dash snapped out of her state of fright. She shook her head with a scowl. “Heck no! I’m not afraid anything.” She said confidently.
She took a couple of deep breaths before trotting through the gate, eyes focused and face determined, though she was panicking on the inside. She made her way into the spooky cemetery, Lilac trotting past her.
“It’s this way.”
Sighing, Rainbow Dash followed her new friend further into the depths of the obscure cemetery. They walked past rows of graves, haunting in the darkness of the night. When a Pegasus died, there were three options regarding what was to be done with its remains. They could either opt to purchase a winged coffin and be sent out into the sky, where they would float higher and higher before vanishing altogether. Most pegasi preferred this, even though the final resting place of the deceased was an eternal mystery. Not even Princess Celestia, nor the pegasi in charge of Cloudsdale, was certain.
A less-popular option would be to purchase an enchanted coffin and be buried in the clouds, where they’d hang while the clouds acted like a magical kind of soil- eventually converting the bodies to more cloud matter. Fortunately, those clouds would stay extremely high up in the atmosphere, so most pegasi never encountered what they called ‘corpse clouds’.
The third option would be to have a traditional burial on the surface, along with unicorns and earth ponies. This was generally preferred by pegasi who lived in towns like Ponyville.
Regardless, a pegasi cemetery in the clouds was just as creepy as one located on the ground, where the bodies were buried in soil and grass. Rainbow Dash could feel herself start to shiver, walking over tufts covering the bodies underneath.
Finally, Lilac stopped trotting in front of one headstone. Unlike the others, this one stood out. It wasn’t magnificent in size but rather in its craftsmanship. It was carved in the shape of a soaring eagle, wings extended and beak open as if screeching. It looked like a dark predator, hunting for prey under the veil of night. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but feel in awe of the terrifyingly amazing stone.
Lilac sat down, lying back against the soft clouds. Rainbow Dash stood beside her, looking down at her in confusion.
“What are you doing?”
Lilac shrugged. “Escaping. Clearing my mind. It’s what I always do when I come out here.”
“Here?” Rainbow Dash asked in shock. “You come out to a cemetery to escape your problems?”
“It’s either come here or stay at home,” Lilac said, eyes tearing up. “Waiting for my drunken father to sober up or pass out so I can leave my room without getting a bottle smashed against my head.”
The lavender pegasus cried silently, hardly a sniffle escaping her. Even when she spoke, her voice was barely quivered- as if she was simply lounging on a public beach instead of lying in the middle of a cemetery. But she wore her sorrow for the world to see, her clouded eyes gazing up at the starlit sky, moist from the tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m...I’m sorry...Lilac. I really didn’t know.” Rainbow Dash said, reaching out to place a reassuring hoof onto her friend’s shoulder.
Lilac sighed. “Don’t be. You have nothing to do with it.”
“Is there anything I could do?”
“You’ve already done a bunch, just by giving me somepony to talk to.” She said, turning to her friend with a smile. “In fact, you’re the first pony I’ve brought to this spot.”
“Really?” The Lilac mare nodded. Rainbow Dash looked around, the creepy feel of the cemetery suddenly lessened. She didn’t fear the dead around her as much as when she had first entered the cemetery. “But why would you take me here over anypony else?”
“Because I wanted to show you how much I consider you a friend.” Lilac muttered. “Like I said, I’ve never really opened up to anypony before. If you weren't my friend, I wouldn’t be telling you all of this. Heck, I wouldn’t have even considered bringing you here. But in the short amount of time we’ve known each other, I already see you as something more than just another pony.”
Rainbow Dash just stared, not sure how to react. Swallowing, she finally found the right words.
“Wow. I’m touched. Really. It’s just that...like you said...we’ve only known each other for an hour, how can you suddenly see me as a friend?” Rainbow asked.
Lilac closed her eyes. “The truth is I really don’t have any friends. And honestly, when I saw you slinking off, all alone on the street, I felt like I had to do something.” She turned to her friend. “I couldn’t stand to see anypony look like that.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Look like what?”
“To look like the world had abandoned them.” she said. She lifted her head up towards the sky but kept her eyes firmly closed. “To look like me.”
Rainbow Dash laid back against the clouds close beside her new friend. Lilac looked over to see rose-tinted eyes gazing back into her own. A small smile crept onto the little blue filly’s face. Lilac kept looking until she couldn’t hold it in anymore and smiled back. Then she turned, looking up at the sky, and placed both hooves behind her head.
“Thanks for coming here with me, it means a lot.”
Rainbow smiled, “Hey, what are friends for?”
Lilac turned to look back at Rainbow Dash “We should get out of her before the groundskeeper spots us.” She said with a soft chuckle.
“Yeah, that’d probably be best. I could walk you home if you want.” Rainbow Dash suggested.
“I’d like that very much.” Lilac said, still smiling softly.
Rainbow Dash and Lilac finally arrived at an older, three-story house. Most of the lights had been turned off; only two windows were illuminated, and even those glowed with the dullness of a lamp in need of a change in bulbs. Lilac stopped walking and stared at the tall building before letting out a deep sigh.
“Well, this is it.” She said. “Home sweet home.”
She then turned to Rainbow Dash. “Listen, thanks again for hanging out with me, it meant a lot.”
Rainbow Dash laughed, “No problem. Besides, I should be the one thanking you for hanging out with me. I know I’m not the easiest pony to get along with.”
“You’re fine, Rainbow. A lot easier to get along with than you know.” Lilac said with a chuckle. She turned and began climbing the steps when Rainbow Dash thought of something.
“Hey Lilac!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Lilac stopped and turned around, looking down at the cyan pegasus that had spoken up. “I was sort of wondering...do you want to hang out again tomorrow? I could stop by and we could grab some a shake or something.”
Lilac smiled, “I’d like that.”
With a wave of her hoof, Lilac continued up the stairs. She then froze and turned back around. “Oh, but after your race. You’ve gotta whoop those losers’ flanks. You know, if they have the guts to show up bald.” Lilac said with a smugness that made Rainbow Dash laugh.
“I will.” Rainbow replied, still snickering.
The two friends gave each other a final wave before Lilac entered the house and closed the door behind her. Rainbow Dash smiled, staring at the home for a few more seconds before she trotted away, looking forward to spending some more quality time with her friend the next day.
The following afternoon Rainbow Dash trotted down the street, smiling as she approached Lilac’s home. She was in high spirits, even though she did not get a chance to race.
She had run into her three, shaved adversaries several times throughout the day, though the constant mockery they had received robbed them of all desire to race, at least while they were partially bald. She was off the hook, and could spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out with her new friend.
She finally reached Lilac’s house and made her way up the stairs before lightly knocking her hoof against the door. She stood back and waited for somepony to answer. Eventually the door opened, revealing an exhausted-looking mare holding a newborn foal in her arms. The little fella crying like there was no tomorrow.
“May I help you?”
“Yes. Hello ma'am, my name is Rainbow Dash. I was wondering if Lilac happened to be here, we have plans to hang out.” Rainbow Dash said, repressing a squeal of delight at finally being able to say she was hanging out with somepony.
The mare just stared, confusion plain on her face. “Lilac? Sorry kid, there isn’t anyone here named Lilac.”
Before Rainbow Dash could protest, the door closed in her face. Puzzled, she made her way down the steps.
“What the hay was that all about? How can she not live here?” Rainbow Dash muttered before her eyes lit up. “Maybe she’s back at the cemetery.”
About ten minutes later, Rainbow Dash arrived at the cemetery. She couldn’t tell if it was due to the relaxing experience she had the previous night or the now-present sun, but the rows of headstones didn’t scare her as much this time. She quickly made her way over to the same eagle-shaped headstone she saw the night before, slowing her pace to a light trot before she reached it. Once there, she stopped completely and stood in front of the eagle. She looked left, right, up and down, hoping to see a blur of lilac-colored fur, but nopony was there.
“Ugh, come on Lilac. Where would you go?” Rainbow Dash said, looking at the grave. She chuckled, “Funny, an eagle. Just like Lilac’s....”
Rainbow Dash stopped, her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. “Wait...no that can’t be right.”
She trotted over to the headstone, squinting to get a better view. The front of the stone where the name would be was covered in cloud matter, piled high like grass would in a ground-based cemetery. She slowly reached out and brushed the clouds away. Once the stone was clean and she was finally able to read the name, she nearly jumped back in fright.
”Lilac Storm
Beloved Daughter
And Loving Filly
Taken too Soon”
Rainbow stared at the name, reading it again, and again, as if she thought by doing so the name would magically change. It didn’t. A breeze blew through her mane. But instead of sending a chill down her spine, it warmed her. The breeze was tepid and relaxing, soothing as it passed over her. Her shock subsided, replaced by contentment. She slowly got to her hooves and chuckled.
“You making me think you were alive. Great job. I guess you are the prank master." She laughed, trotting closer to the grave so she was right in front of the name. She reached out and touched it, smiling. “Thanks for the awesome night.”
“Okay! Time out! Time out!” Apple Bloom yelled, waving her hooves to get Rainbow Dash to stop talking. She shot a skeptical look at the flying mare, one eyebrow raised and a face showing disbelief. “Ya seriously expect us to believe that hooey?”
Rainbow Dash chuckled, “Hey, I never said the story wasn’t unreal. But it did happen.”
“Yeah right.” Apple Bloom muttered. “Next ya’ll be telling us the sky is purple.”
“Well actually, at dawn it tends to have a violet hue.” Rainbow Dash said.
Apple Bloom face-hoofed and let out a groan. “Ugh, it doesn’t matter! Mah point still stands.”
“Now hold on Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Maybe Rainbow Dash here is telling the truth.”
“Really?” Apple Bloom asked before turning to Rainbow Dash, slowly approaching her with a smug look on her face. “Ah’m sorry, but when it comes to ghost stories like that. Ah follow a strict motto of ‘proof or it didn’t happen’.”
“Like I have any proof,” Rainbow Dash said with a chuckle, “Besides, where’s your proof that it didn’t happen?”
Apple Bloom tilted her head before opening her mouth to retort. Unfortunately, a certain fan-filly interrupted her.
“Oh! She got you good Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo said. Apple Bloom glared at her, but the orange pegasus just ignored her friend’s probing eyes.
“That story was so cool, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said excitedly. “Pulling off a Sonic Rainboom and befriending a ghost? You really are the coolest pegasus of all time!”
“Yep, no doubt about it.” Rainbow Dash said proudly. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the same three ponies she saw before she had begun telling her story. They were still talking to each other in front of the shop. Rainbow Dash smirked, remembering her original intent. “Okay, story time is over. I’ve got to get back to pranking, but maybe I’ll see you guys later. Happy Nightmare Night.”
With that Rainbow flew off, pushing her storm cloud towards the three mares.
Apple Bloom looked at both of her friends, “Please don’t tell me y’all believe that mumbo-jumbo Rainbow Dash was telling us.”
“Why not? I mean, if it’s not true, at least it made for a great ghost story.” Scootaloo said, “Besides, I’d like to believe that if anypony could talk to the dead, it would be Rainbow Dash.”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Look can we just get going? We have to start hitting up some houses and make our way into the center of town. Applejack won’t be happy if we’re late.”
“Okay. But first, let’s stop by Twilight’s place.” Sweetie Belle said. “Spike could probably use a pick-me-up if he’s still not feeling well.”
“And she probably has some cool candy,” Apple Bloom said. “Maybe even some more of those magic brownies!”
“Alright, then it’s settled! Let’s head over to Twilight’s!” Scootaloo said enthusiastically.
The three fillies trotted off just as another flash of lightning illuminated the night behind them. The three mares that had been chatting peacefully only a moment before were now screaming, running around in a blind panic.
Rainbow Dash chortled from atop her cloud, clutching her sides for fear that she’d crack a rib from laughing so hard. She gazed up at the night sky, stars twinkling like tiny fireflies. Her laughter slowed to a light chuckle before it stopped altogether. But her smile remained as bright as ever. It wasn’t a smile of mockery, it was one of genuine happiness. She pointed up towards the sky.
“That one’s for you, Lilac.”
[A/N]: A special thanks to Featherprop and Garbo802 for helping me edit this.
I hoped you enjoy and I apologize for the long gap since I last wrote this story.
