“C’mon Riley, isn’t it obvious?” The blue pegasus drillled me. She seemed to be catching something I’d overlooked. That tends to happen a lot. Though she could never just come out and tell me what I was missing.
“No, it really isn’t.” I admitted. I took a drink from my glass of water. This case was really starting to wear me down. This was made clear by the pair of sunglasses lying on the table in front of me. I looked up and, of course, the pegasus was still there.
“Really? Wow, ‘cause I figured it out a long time ago. I guess I’m just better than you.” This didn’t make sense. She shouldn’t be here. How did she exist?
“Shut up. You’re not real.” I a took another drink. I was getting dizzy, my vision was fading, and I wasn’t sure why.
“Real or not, I’m all you’ve got. Now c’mon! Put those glasses back on and piece it all together.” I couldn’t. I couldn’t use it anymore.
It was an addiction. The more you used it, the more difficult it was to separate real life from subconscious projections. Though I couldn’t stop using it.... It was so... Exhilarating. It was better than reality, that was for sure.
The middle of a story is never the best place to start. Rewind a few years. 2014, top scientists perfect shared dreaming. It’s an incredibly expensive system, and is only distributed to police forces, to use for more efficient interrogations.
2015, the technology is released to richer civilians. A freelancer scientist, by the name of Alfred Bloomsburg, developed a prototype of the Subconscious Projectal Examination System, or SPES. An incredibly complex, expensive device. He sook a test subject.
The SPES connects to its user’s brain waves, almost telepathically. Because of this, the first person to use a SPES unit becomes its sole user. It simply won’t work for anyone else. The scientist who developped the system found his test subject, a local Private Investigator, by the name of Riley Compton. That’s me.
I recieved the system June 16th, 2015. He said that it would be a very useful investigation tool, and that he had chosen a PI to test it, rather than the police, because he knew the police would have to go through weeks of protocols to be able to use it. I agreed, it was true. The police’s protocols are one of the main reasons I quit the force.
He gave me a quick, basic run down of how the SPES works. Using a modified version of the dreaming sharing technology, it accesses the target’s subconscious, creating projections of their mind. The projections show the target’s true colors, and usually know a lot more than the target, making them much more useful for interrogation.
I didn’t fully understand at first. It sounded crazy and pointless. Not fully understanding, I decided the best option was to see for myself. I removed the system from the packaging. I was incredibly surprised by how sleek it was. All it was was a pair of sunglasses, that wireless connected to this box, similar to the boxes worn at the waste for wireless microphones. There was also a right handed, fingerless glove in the box. I clipped the box to my belt and put on the glasses. Then I slid on the glove and pressed the convenient “on” button on the box.
Immediately, two floating screens appeared in front of me. One said “Connect” and the other said “Cancel”. I took a deep breath and tapped the “Connect” screen with my gloved hand. The screens disappeared and the glasses went completely black, blocking my vision. Eventually, small, green letters appeared that said “Scanning...” I remembered Alfred explaining this part to me. It was scanning my brain for something I could identify with easily to create suitable projections.
“Theme set to “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” Appeared across the screen. “Creating Projection”. This caught me off guard. Alfred mentioned nothing about the SPES making a projection of MY subconscious.
The glasses cleared up, and my vision was restored. Surprisingly, nothing seemed different. Just my usual office. It was a pretty standard PI’s office. A window behind a desk, the door across the room, straight in front of the window. It was a pretty nice setup. My walls were painted a light tan, and were bare except for a painting. “Starry Night”, Vincent Van Gogh. Not the original, of course.
The room was empty, aside from myself. No projections. I figured the device just wasn’t working properly. That’s when something unusual caught my eye. I looked out the window, and saw a small, bluish speck in the distance, growing bigger and bigger. Finally, I realized that it was a rainbow maned pegasus, just like the SPES had promised. CRASH. She crashed through my window, completely shattering it. She flew across the room and face-planted against the wall. I was both amused and appalled.
“Are you insane! Do you know how much it costs to repair a window?”
“No idea!” She replied as she got to her feet and shook off the crash. “Why not fix it yourself?”
“What do you mean? I’m a private investigator, what makes you think I can fix a window?”
She laughed. I was still slightly in shock that one of my favorite characters from my childhood was here in my office, even though I knew she wasn’t real. She gave me a weird look, as though she thought there was something funny about my inability to fix a window. It was as though there was a joke, and I was getting it at all...
“Oh. Right.” I finally got it. I slid the glasses down my nose and peeked out the top of them. Of course, the window was fine. “Alright, I’m sold.” I smiled, as I slid the glasses back up. I turned back to the blue pegasus. “Hello there, my name is Riley. I’m a private investigator.”
“Hey there! Name’s Rainbow Dash! Fastest pegasus on Earth. Actually, the only pegasus on Earth! For now anyway.”
“Oh. So you actually know what you are?”
“Of course I do. Do I look stupid to you? Why WOULDN’T I know what I am?”
“Well... In movies, a lot of the time...”
“Does this look like a movie to you?”
“... Good point.” Shown up by my own subconscious. There’s something that doesn’t happen everyday. “Okay, there’s one thing I don’t understand.”
“What’s that?”
“How can this technology possibly help me as an investigator? I mean, it’s amusing, but how is it practical?”
She sighed. “Here, I’ll just show you.” She headed over to the door. “Oh, and try not to respond to me around other people. They’ll start to think you’re... As a friend of mine would say, ‘loco in the coco.’”
“Noted. Alright, where are we going?” I asked, opening the door.
“The Daily Bean.” She said, following me out into the hallway. My office was in a building called Express Offices. You know, one of those buildings that rent out offices to people who have nothing better. People such as poor, struggling PIs.
The Daily Bean was a coffee shop. I wasn’t sure why she was leading me there, but I trusted my own subconscious.
“You’ve been going about this all wrong! See, you can’t just put out an ad in the paper and expect people in need of an investigator to come to you. You’ve gotta do a little PR! You gotta go find he action yourself! Take initiative! Get dirty!” Dash lectured me in the elevator on the way to the bottom floor.
“Here’s what you gotta do. Go in to the coffee shop, and find work! If someone needs assistance, trust me, I’ll be able to help you find them.” I nodded. We arrived at the door to the Daily Bean, which was just a block down from Express Offices. I stepped inside and walked up to the counter.
There was no wait, since they weren’t very busy. “Hello.” I said to the barista.
“Hi there! Welcome to the Daily Bean, what can I do for you?” He responded.
“Um... Can I just get a cup of coffee?” I had quite clearly never been in a coffee shop before. He nodded and turned to a large, complicated looking coffee machine, and started filling up a cup of coffee. “So uh... Anything unusual happen around here lately?”
Rainbow Dash sat down beside me and did a head desk. “That’s right, nice and subtle.” She mocked. I sighed. I never was good at being subtle. There were probably good reasons that I never had clients.
“Hm... No. Nothing comes to mind. Isn’t that the kinda stuff newspapers are for?” He motioned to a newspaper stack to my immediate left as he placed the cup of coffee in front of me.
“Yes. Yes it is.” I averted my eyes, probably blushing, sort of embarrassed. I reached over and grabbed a newspaper. The front page headline read “Large Sum of Cash Stolen from Duran Co. Advertising Company.” As I read the article, I noticed something interesting. “The money was found missing from the CEO’s safe at around 2:00 PM today.” I checked the date. June 16th. That was today. I checked my watch. 3:14. Impossible. These newspapers ship out at 6 AM, there’s no way they could know about something that happened an hour ago.
I looked up and jumped slightly when I saw a mint green unicorn staring at me on the other side of the counter. I pointed at the newspaper and asked, “Was this you?”
She nodded. I looked around to make sure no one else was watching. Then I leaned close to the projection. “Let me see if I understand...” I said very softly. “You’re another projection, correct?” She nodded again. “You’re altering my perception of reality in order to tell me something?” Another nod.
I slid the glasses down and took a peak at the newspaper. “Local Man Saves Baby from Burning Building.” The headline now read. I smiled. This SPES really was something else. I looked back up at the mint green unicorn. I wasn’t entirely sure who she was from the show. I remembered that she was a background pony, famous for a scene where she sits like a human. I couldn’t remember her name though.
“How do you know about this?” I asked quietly.
“Another one of the baristas that works here is related to someone who works at the company. He was talking on the phone about it in the break room.”
“Why didn’t that barista tell me about that?”
“Well he didn’t know you were an investigator.”
“... And you do?”
“Well of course. Your basic information is programmed into the SPES. Mainly your name and occupation.”
“Well, that will certainly make things easier.” I turned to Rainbow Dash. “Okay, I’m sold, this will definitely be useful for investigation. Let’s go take a look at Duran Advertising.”
“You bet it is!” She jumped out of her seat. “Come on, let’s go!”
I left a five dollar tip for the helpful unicorn, which I realized would probably go to the barista, but that was okay. He was more helpful to me than he’ll ever know. I took the newspaper with me. I got the feeling that it would come in handy in the future.
It seemed uncanny. I hadn’t had a case in so long, then I stumble upon one almost immediately at the Daily Bean. I guess that’s the advantage of being able to talk to someone’s subconscious directly.
I arrived at the Duran company building, which was only a couple blocks down from the Daily Bean. The entrance led to a rather small lobby, with a reception desk and a hall leading to an elevator. This building only had three floors, which was unusual for an advertising company.
The bottom floor was empty. I started down the hall, examining the walls as I went. They were relatively plain, white walls. The only thing that added any sort of interest to them at all was a portrait of the CEO of the company, Thomas Duran. He was a heavy built man, with wide shoulders and an almost squared off face. He wore a standard black business suit and a red tie, and the portrait showed him from the waste up. His hair was a dark brown, short, straight and well maintained. In all, he seemed like very dignified, respectable man.
“Look at this egghead.” Rainbow Dash said from behind me. I sighed, I’d forgotten she was there. “Guess he’s the victim then right?”
I nodded. “His company more specifically, but if you had to label someone specifically, it would be him. We moved past the picture and down the hall to the elevator I pressed the bottom with the arrow pointing upwards on it and waited for the elevator.
“Any ideas yet?” Dash asked.
“About the case?” I responded.
“No, tonight’s football game.” She said sarcastically.
“Oh... Well, no, I’m not a fan of football.”
“... Right. Okay. Let’s go.” The elevator reached the bottom floor and the door opened. I stepped in, Rainbow hovering close behind. I pressed the button labelled “2” and the door closed.
While in the elevator, I took a few moments to examine the glove. It was a rather long, black glove, the base of which went a few inches past my wrist. At the base of the glove were three flat, touch activated buttons. One showed what seemed to be a person, another showed what looked like a computer monitor, and the other was a traditional power button, the circle with a little line on top.
It was safe to assume what the power button did, so I gave the monitor button a try. Suddenly, three floating monitors popped up in front of me. They were labelled “Information”, “Memories”, and “Observations”.
“... So what exactly is this?” I asked.
“Oh, that.” Dash seemed slightly more condescending than usual. “The SPES takes in information as you learn it. It’s like a super awesome notepad. The Information section gives you the facts you’ve picked up. The Memory section lets you literally relive memories you’ve had. Be careful with that one, it can be dangerous. Oh, and Observations is like information, but instead of facts it gives you subconscious assumptions and opinions you’ve made and stuff.”
I nodded along as Dash spoke. It was kind of amusing really, Dash had to say a lot of things that didn’t really match her character because she had to be my guide through the SPES at the same time. She didn’t seem to like it much... If projections CAN like or dislike something that is.
I didn’t get a chance to use the SPES interface much because the elevator arrived on floor 2. In retrospect, it was a rather slow elevator, since it took all that time to go up one floor. I looked at Dash. She nodded at me, a determined look on her face. I returned the nod, bearing a much more unsure expression.
The elevator door opened and I grew nervous, completely unsure of what was to happen in the near future.
Rainbow Dash flew out of the elevator eagerly. I followed her out, significantly more timid. We turned the corner and found ourselves in another hallway, this one much shorter. It lead into a room with another reception desk, and several desks with computers and papers and the works. Police were running all around investigating everything.
There was a woman at the reception desk. She was gorgeous. Her hair was long and brown, and her eyes were a dark bluish green. I stopped when I saw her. There was a policeman standing behind her, watching her. Unsure of what to do, I stepped up to the reception desk.
“Um, hello, I’m looking for...” He started.
“Sorry, no press allowed right now.” She said, without looking up from her computer.
I was caught slightly off guard by her presumption. What about the way I looked implied that I was press? Rainbow Dash landed behind me, giggling. “Um, I’m not press, I’m...”
“Oh. Then if you’re not press, and you’re clearly not police, you have no business here anyway.”
“I.. Er...” Such a rude receptionist! “I’m... Er, my name. Riley Compton, yes. I’m a, er... Private Detective.”
“Ah. I see.” She looked up at me for the first time. “Who hired you then?”
I winced slightly. I really hadn’t thought this through very well. “I... Er, well, see, I’m a very private detective.”
“So no one knows you exist?”
“Yes, that.” I avoided eye contact.
“So you’re just here for the hell of it?”
If she was my receptionist, I would fire her. For the hell of it. “Um... Well, yes, that’s about it.”
“Well, there’s no need. The police already have a culprit.”
I gave a noticeably disappointed look. I guess this whole thing was a waste of time. “Oh. Well, that’s good, right?” I was pathetic.
“I guess so.” She seemed unamused. After a short awkward stare, she returned her gaze to her computer, and I turned to leave.
“Hold it!” Rainbow Dash shouted from behind me. She jumped in front of me, blocking my way to the exit. For a few moments, I forgot that she wasn’t actually there, and that I could have walked right through her. I stopped dead in my tracks. “So, you’re just gonna give up, eh?”
“That was the idea. They already have it figured out.” The receptionist and the police guard guarding her both gave me strange looks. I realized that to them I was talking to myself, and became embarrassed. Dash laughed for a moment, then got serious.
“You could at LEAST do some detective-ing while you’re here! Think about it. Use your logics!” I had no idea what she was talking about. I looked back at the receptionist and the guard who was guarding her. I couldn’t really see anything else past the reception desk, except some empty office desks. All I saw was the receptionist and the guard guarding her.
Wait a minute...
I stepped back over to the reception desk. “So um... If there’s a big investigation going on in there...” I pointed to the policeman standing behind her, who seemed to be staring off in the distance. “What’s he doing over here?”
“He’s guarding the culprit, of course.” She responded, not looking at me.
“Oh, so YOU did it?”
“According to the police, yes. I guess I underestimated you, you clearly have some real top-notch deduction skills.” She said, noticeably sarcastically.
“... But DID you do it?”
“What does that matter? You don’t look like a defense attorney to me.”
“Er... Well... I guess not...” That was a lie.
I went to college at North Carolina State University. I was a psychology major. I then proceeded to Campbell Law School for four years, and am now, in fact, a bar registered lawyer. Amazing that I did all that without ever leaving Raleigh, North Carolina. Unfortunately, I proved to be completely inadequate as a lawyer, and remained completely unemployed.
And that is how I became a useless PI. It all started when I was a useless lawyer. Anyway, the flashback cuts away and I find myself in the middle of an awkward silence. She is still focused on whatever is on her computer. “Right then...” I say, and turn to leave, giving up.
“Hold it!” I hear a male voice from behind me. I wonder for a moment why all these ponies found it necessary to yell so loudly. I turn around to see a brown pony standing in front of the receptionist’s desk. His mane is a darker brown than his fur, and his flank was labelled with a peculiar yellow hourglass. If this pony had ever existed in the actual TV show, I had never noticed him.
“Um...” I almost asked him what he wanted, but stopped because I didn’t want to look foolish. I just stood there and waited for him to explain himself. The guard and receptionist paid me no mind this time.
“Don’t leave... Please. I need you.” I stood dumbfounded as the pony pleaded. “Well... She needs you.” He motioned towards the receptionist. I stared blankly for a few moments before I finally understood. All the males I’ve seen have female pony personas, so it only makes sense that a female would have a male persona.
“I... Er...” I mumbled. The cop guarding the receptionist turned and looked at me, but the receptionist herself couldn’t care less. I motioned towards the elevator, and the brown pony nodded, and followed me to seclusion.
“What are you talking about?” I asked when we were finally alone. “She said she doesn’t want help, so clearly she doesn’t want help.”
Rainbow did a facehoof. “You still don’t get it, do you?”
“I guess not.” I mumbled.
“She needs help, she’s just too stubborn to ask for it.” The brown pony explained. “Though we subconscious projections aren’t tied back by things like stubborness.”
“I see...” I didn’t actually see at all.
Rainbow shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Come on man, get back in there and solve that crime!”
“But...” I was confused. “The police already have a suspect, what’s the point in...”
“The suspect is innocent.” The brown pony interrupted.
“How can I know that for sure?”
“Look at my face, do I look like I’m lying?” I honestly didn’t know. I had never taking courses on the body language of equines, unfortunately. I glanced at Dash, who was floating beside me with a stern look on her face.
“Does it look like he’s lying?” I asked Rainbow.
“How should I know? YOU’RE the private eye.”
“Right... Well then... I guess there’s only one way to find out.” I reached out and pressed the third floor button. It was at that point I realized that the elevator had never left the third floor. The door opened, and I saw the cop who was guarding the receptionist standing outside.
“That was a weird conversation.” He must have been listening in. “I wish I’d heard the other half.” He had a disappointed look on his face. Of all expressions, I was expecting him to look confused, or think I was a freak. Instead, he just seemed disappointed.
“Well.” I said with a sarcastic tone. “This brown horse wanted me to investigate this crime, so I was arguing with him over whether or not I should.” It would have sounded crazy if it didn’t seem so blatantly sarcastic.
“Oh!” He perked up. “Well, you’d better get to investigating.” He leaned closer to me. “You don’t want to disappoint those horses.” And he slid into the elevator as I stepped out.
“What a loon.” Rainbow Dash commented.
“Yeah really.” I answered, foolishly. Luckily, no one else was around. The receptionist was no where to be seen. I let out a sigh of relief, then took a look around. There were three little work spaces inside the room. To the far left was a door, and there was another door to the far right. They both lead to larger offices. Directly across the room from the entrance were two more doors right beside each other. The door on the far left opened and a man came out.
“Who are you?” He asked. He was a man of average height and average build, with average short brown hair, and he wore an average business suit. When it came down to it, he seemed like a pretty average guy.
“My name’s Riley Compton.” I introduced myself. “I’m a private investigator, I’m here to investigate the robbery.”
“A P.I.? Who hired you?”
“Well... Er... No one actually. It just seemed like it was worth investigating...”
“Ah, I get it, you have no clients so you’re trying to solve a random case in order to gain some publicity?” Was it really that obvious?”
“Something like that... So uh... Do you know anything about the crime?”
“All I know is that my girlfriend Brittanie was blamed for it.” He seemed unhappy about this... Obviously.
“And you don’t think she did it?”
“No, she couldn’t have.”
“Oh really?” I looked off to the side a little bit, and saw Rainbow Dash sprawled out on a desk, clearly uninterested with the current investigation.
“Yes, she was with me at the time! We were at my place, alone, and what not.
“Oh.. Well, that’s a fairly sturdy alibi. Couldn’t imagine why they didn’t believe you.” I turned to Rainbow, who was no longer on the desk. Now, she was talking to a white unicorn, who had appeared at some point by the desk.
“What are you looking at?” He looked over at the desk.
“Oh, I... Er... Was looking at...” I stepped over to the desk, looking for something to claim that I was looking at. THat’s when I found a framed picture of the receptionist, wearing a yellow tank top. I grabbed the picture and held it out to him. “This! I was looking at this! This is your girlfriend, right?”
“Why, yes, she is. What’s your point?”
“Well it seems weird that a picture of your girlfriend is on someone else’s desk, doesn’t it?”
“... That’s my desk.”
“... Really?”
“Yep.”
“... But you were just...”
“Meeting with our HR rep?”
“... So that’s not your office?”
“Do I look like I have my own office?” Honestly, he did.
“Um, well, no... But...”
“You’re really not very good at this investigating thing, are you?”
In the corner of my eye, I saw Rainbow Dash bawling in laughter, while the white pony chuckled in a sophisticated manner. I believe she was Rarity, the prim and proper, fashion pony from the series. “No, I guess I’m not.”
Without another word, the man headed to the elevator. Once he was gone, I leaned down beside the white pony. “Who are you?” I asked.
“My name is Rarity, I-”
“I know that, I mean who are you with?”
She gave me a scolding look. “It’s rude to interrupt, you know. I’m with Calvin McQueen, the under-appreciated advertisement agent, and the only man here who knows how to treat a lady.”
“... You mean tht guy who just in here?”
“Of course! He’s going to run this place one day, I just know it!”
“Odd.... You seem nothing like him.”
“Hey buddy, I’m nothing like you either, yet here I am!” Rainbow jumped in. She had a point. I examined the glove on my hand. This SPES thing was certainly hard to keep up with, especially since everything it did seemed completely random.
“Was the receptionist actually with... Er... Calvin at the time of the robbery?”
“Of course he was! Did he LOOK like he was lying?”
I sighed. Apparently all these ponies were on the same wavelength or something... Oh wait, they were, literally. “No, but you can never be too sure.”
“The police just don’t believe because they know he would cover for her, for ANYTHING.” She stared off for a few moments. “He truly loves her. It’s so lovely.”
The problem with this is that she had a point. It’s the word of the defendant and the defendant’s boyfriend against the evidence.... “Wait, do they even have any evidence on her?”
“How should I know?”
“Er... Well, I just thought...”
“Is the brown horse back?” A familiar voice came from behind me. I turned around to see the cop who was guarding the receptionist early. He was staring down at me, and had quite possibly been there for several minutes.
“Er... No, this time it’s a white unicorn.” I told the truth, equally sarcastically.
“Wow, you’re actually honest about speaking with us.” Rarity commented. “I respect that, not at all like that hooligan who was here earlier.”
“Wait, what?” I asked, caught off guard.
“What?” The cop asked, confused.
“WHAT!?” Rainbow asked, just for fun, then started laughing again.
“Nothing, sorry.” I said.
“That other guy with those glasses. He was so rude.” Rarity answered.
“What other guy with glasses.” I questioned further.
“What about glasses?” The cop was even more confused.
“OH!” I heard an unfamiliar, female voice butt in. “That prosecutor, right! Yes! I guessed it! I win!” I saw a pink pony bounce from out behind the cop. Pinkie Pie, no doubt. I remember Pinkie Pie distinctly. How could you forget her?
“Someone else can see you guys?” I gulped hard. Well, there goes my ONE advantage in this case...
