The Tale of Scale

Chapter 6: To the Kitchen!

The white alicorn began to pace slowly back and forth. She was deep in thought. Of course, my head was still buried in the ground. I was really hoping that I didn’t burn anything down. I can only imagine how popular burning Canterlot Castle would make me. Suddenly, Luna clicked a hoof upon the ground.

“Sister, I have an idea.”

Celestia stopped pacing and looked expectantly at Luna.

“Why not place him in the kitchen? He could heat the ovens. Perhaps something good can come of this yet.”

Heat the ovens? Thank you, oh mighty Luna, for suggesting such menial labor. Thank you soooo much. But Celestia’s eyes lit up. Oh no. Please tell me they weren’t serious.

“A good idea. Today you will work in the kitchens heating the ovens and stoves. That way nothing will get burnt down and you will do some good with your newfound abilities.”

“To the kitchen!” Luna shouted.

I so wanted to slap myself. If only I was dreaming! But I wasn’t. I was pinching myself as hard as I could back in my apartment. Now my brain hurt, my mouth hurt, and my arm hurt. I should really stop hurting myself. It’s not good for my health.

I felt myself being levitated. A light blue haze filled my vision and a golden bubble surrounded my frame. A barrier to keep the fire in? Clever. Soon the three of us had made it to the royal kitchens. Where Celestia explained what I was to be doing for Chef Flour. Oh joy, I now had that grumpy mare as a boss.

“A dragon? No. No dragons in MY kitchen. He eats too much as it is. Letting him in here will not help at all.”

I wasn’t sure whether to be happy that Chef Flour was trying to dissuade the Princess or whether I should feel insulted.

“He will be helping you,” Celestia demanded. “I suggest that you make the best of it.”

Flour threw her hooves into the air and sighed.

“But I don’t think he’ll be eating much today. You can trust me on that,” Celestia finished with a slight smirk on her face.

Within no time I had been moved over to the ovens. I was placed near the back of them and belched forth my unending green fire.

“Just stay out of trouble and don’t eat anything,” Flour snapped at me. “I have better things to do than to baby-sit some misguided dragon.”

She then turned to her kitchen staff. They were staring. Big surprise.

“By order of the Princesses this dragon-”

“Scale!” I heard a small voice call from the back. Brownie points for you Chip.

“Eh hem…this dragon will be ‘helping’ us by powering the ovens. Nothing is to be done differently than normal. Now back to work. Chop chop!”

The staff quickly fumbled around with whatever they had in their hooves or mouths and soon the place was abuzz with activity. I watched as the ponies worked. It’s not like there was much else to do.

Ponies stirred. Ponies rolled. Ponies poured. Ponies even came to the ovens. I noticed that they approached the ovens cautiously though. Chef Flour never seemed to stop yelling at somepony.

“More salt! Roll faster! Cook longer! Stop talking! Chop chop!”

Urgh…that voice was starting to wear on me. I will admit one thing however; the kitchen was definitely well organized. Each pony knew where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to be doing. The reason for this was simple, if they ever messed up Flour would immediately let them know. And I do mean immediately.

As my time in the kitchen passed I noticed one particular stallion begin to edge his work closer and closer to me, a certain brown earth stallion with black hair.

“Hey Scale!” Chip whispered over to me with a small wave.

“No talking to it!” Flour snapped.

Chip went abruptly back to work. This only lasted for a few minutes, if that long, before he was once again vying for my attention. A feat that was not very difficult considering that I really had nothing to do. I think this time he was trying to use a primitive form of charades as he whipped up some kind of batter.

“No sign language either!” Flour’s voice again echoed through the kitchen.

This made Chip freeze up for a second before he stiffly went back to work. Chip was most definitely impressive to watch. It seemed that he had his mouth doing one thing even while both front hooves were each doing separate tasks of their own. Within no time whatsoever a large bowl full of batter was taking shape in front of him. It wasn’t long before I knew what he was making. As soon as he poured a large bag of chocolate chips into the mix I knew why he gotten his cutie mark. He was making cookies, chocolate chip cookies. My favorite!

If I could have licked my lips and drooled I would have done that. Unfortunately having fire blaze out of my mouth made this near impossible. Then, Chip got his chance. His batch of cookies was ready to be baked, which meant that he needed an oven. As luck would have it, the oven closest to me was open. Well, perhaps luck and the fact that everypony seemed to strangely stay as far away from that oven as possible. Chip flung a sheet of gooey globs of goodness into the oven.

“How’s it goin’ Scale?” he whispered.

I waited, but there was no response from Flour. I tried to reply, but the only thing that came out was a soft, “Mmumph urf grummt shmooze.” Or something like that.

Chip nodded his head happily. Either he actually understood what I said or he was simply being polite, I really didn’t know. Another tray was flung into the oven and another whisper came my way.

“Sounds like a rough day.”

I waited again, still no reply from Chef Flour. Ha! She must have been off her game. I smirked inwardly to myself. I would have smirked on the outside, but fire tends to deter my lips from their smirkishness.

Back in my apartment I also would have smirked, but I was downing water like it was nobody’s business. Before this unfortunate serious of events occurred I never would have thought that one human could be capable of drinking an entire waterfall. Now, I’m not so sure about that. Apparently breathing endless amounts of fire makes my human mouth feel like it’s full of ghost chilies. Such a wonderful side effect! At least I’ll get my doctor’s daily recommended amount of water in. This’ll also take care of the past weeks that I skimped on too. In fact, this might possibly finish off my recommended consumption of water for the year. But I digress.

In the royal Canterlot kitchen, Chip was just taking out his first tray of perfectly baked treats. They smelled so wonderful and yet slightly burnt. No, wait. That was just the fire coming out of my nostrils.

“When do you get your break?” Chip whispered as he passed me.

For only the briefest of seconds had he turned his head to speak, but it was during this second that he collided with something solid. The tray of cookies flew into the air, but was skillfully caught by none other than Chef Flour. Of course, Flour was also the thing that Chip had run into.

“Mister Coco,” she stated calmly. “I do believe I asked- No. Told you to stop chatting on the job. If you listened as well as you talked then we wouldn’t have to be having this conversation. Now please, get back to work.”

She gently placed the tray on the nearest counter and walked a few paces away.

“Oh, and the cookies look particularly well made today. Now back to work. Chop chop!”

Chip picked himself off the floor. I didn’t know that my jaw could open any larger than it already was, but I swear it fell all the way to the floor. Did I just hear a compliment from Chef Flour? Chip seemed happy enough as he continued his work, but he did actually stop talking to me.

I’m positive that the rest of my day would have been particularly boring aside from watching Flour yell at the staff and seldom hand out compliments, but thankfully something else happened. A pegasus burst through the kitchen doors.

“Scale! I missed ya’ yesterday you big lug!”

The only thought that registered in my mind goes as follows: “Stormchaser in the royal kitchens…Celestia help us.”

“NO!” a sharp yell caused the entire staff to freeze. “Out! Out! Out! Out!” Flour commanded as she stormed over to the entrance.

“Chillax. I’m Scale’s flight trainer and as such, I demand to see my student. I was told I could find the big guy down here, so here I am and there he is.”

Stormchaser moved ever so slowly into the kitchen even as Flour moved closer to intercept the brazen pegasus.

“Unless you are staff or a special guest you are not allowed in MY kitchen.”

Both of their faces came together and Flour glared into Stormchaser’s eyes.

“Well that’s nice,” the pegasus said before flying over the chef and to my side.

“So how’s it going Scale?” she asked.

“Rrrrrr…” Flour growled and then noticed that her staff had stopped working. “Well, what are you looking at? Back to work!”

The other ponies quickly went back to their tasks. Flour gave Stormchaser another threatening glare, but went back to work herself. And by work, I mean criticizing everypony else’s work. Stormchaser chuckled and gave me a shoulder bump.

“Nice to see ya’ again. Heard you were out sick yesterday and that they had you working here today. What’s up?”

“Mimf rigget guggle furf,” my sore throat replied.

“Come again?”

“He’s keepin’ the oven going with his fire,” Chip told her without looking up from his work.

I saw Chef Flour glance over our way, but she didn’t say anything.

“No way! You finally figured out fire breathing? That’s sweet bro! But seriously, we need to get you back in the air. I sort of feel like I need my flight buddy, it’s not the same crashing into plants without someone to crash with me.”

How I wished I was outside crashing, I mean flying, with Stormchaser! But I’m sure that the Princesses wouldn’t be too appreciative of a flaming death trap flying around their castle.

“Ah wursh ee kulld,” I groaned with my mouth stuck in the ovens.

“Hey man, don’t sweat it. When the Princesses say something, you’d better do it. We’ll just have to get some extra flying in tomorrow.”

She then turned from me and noticed Chip busy stirring up another bowl of something tasty.

“I’ve never actually seen you at work before. Whatcha doin’?”

I had never seen Chip act so secretively before. I think he might even have blushed ever so slightly. He shielded the mixing bowl from Stormchaser.

“Just baking. You know, the usual.”

The pegasus tried to move her head around to get a better look at what Chip was up to. But Chip mirrored every move perfectly so that she couldn’t see what he was doing. Now, I’m not one to go pointing out what I don’t know for certain…but Chip had a crush.

After a few moments of these shenanigans, Stormchaser flew into the air a few inches above Chip’s head. He was mixing up yet another batch of cookies.

“That looks good. What is it?” asked the pegasus.

“N-Nothing special, just some chocolate chip cookies,” mumbled Chip. He began to stir faster than usual.

“Putting that cutie mark of yours to work I see.” Stormchaser winked at him.

“Heh. Yeah, I g-guess so.”

Chip stirred even faster and fumbled around a little as he looked for more ingredients. I wasn’t the only one to take notice of this little scene. Most of the other ponies in the kitchen seemed to be taking a mild interest as they glanced up from their work from time to time. Finally, Chef Flour moved in. She came right up to Stormchaser and blocked the pegasus’ view from Chip.

“First, you invite yourself to MY kitchen and now you are interrupting MY staff. If you’re going to continue to be a problem I will. Will. Kick you out.”

“Uh huh…” Stormchaser didn’t look Flour in the eyes but instead moved her head around like she was scanning the kitchen for something. “So, what kind of grub do you have to eat around here?”

“Ooo! That is it! Out!” Roared Flour.

Quickly Chip moved between the two mares.

“Hold on Chef. Will you let me take care of this please?”

Flour’s gaze met the pleading eyes of Chip.

“Harrumph. Fine, but make it quick. I need more cookies before dinner. Lots of guests tonight you know.”

The angry Chef turned away and began to bark orders at the other staff. My head might have been throbbing and my mouth might have been on fire, but these two had somehow managed to distract me from feeling the pain for a little while. I watched as Chip pulled Stormchaser out to the side room where the stallion and I usually ate lunch. Though I couldn’t tell exactly what was said, I could still guess based on Stormchaser’s next actions.

The pegasus and stallion both came back in with smiles. Chip started working again almost instantly, but this time Stormchaser didn’t bother him. Instead she started bothering everypony else.

“So, what exactly is this thing used for? What are you making? What’s for dinner? Is there a special occasion? How do you…Oh wait! I figured it out!”

I saw Chef Flour’s patience visibly wearing thin as the pegasus continued her probing, poking, and questioning. If I thought that the kitchen was busy before, I had no idea how much nervous energy that one pegasus brought with her. At last the final straw was blown.

“You want one of those bowls on the top shelf? No problem! Hold on a sec,” I heard Stormchaser say. “Oh! This is where you keep the chocolate chips! Nice!”

I heard the crumpling of a bag as the pegasus grunted and yanked on the bag of chocolate chips. What she didn’t know was that the bag had been caught under a stack of large metal bowls. As she wrenched the bag full of sweets off, down came a clatter of bowls which bounced and rolled all around the kitchen. One of the bowls splattered into a bowl full of cake batter which had been resting on one of the many counters. Goo flung through the air and painted the kitchen and staff. Sheepishly Stormchaser handed one of the staff a bowl that had come to rest at her feet.

“Um…here’s that bowl you wanted.”

“OUT!” screamed Flour.

“But I-”

“OUT!”

Flour started to push Stormchaser closer to the exit.

“Did you want these-?”

“No! Take the chocolate chips! Just leave. Please.”

“Sweet. See ya’ around Scale! And I’ll see you later, Chip.” The pegasus waved farewell and winked at Chip before taking off.

The kitchen was cluttered with round metallic bowls and goo. All over, the staff was frozen in shock. A mass of mostly finished foodstuffs littered many messy tables and countertops. The ponies themselves, including Chef Flour, were partly covered in goo, paste, and flour.

“Everypony,” declared Chef Flour. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Let’s take a break. Good work today. Fifteen minutes. Now shoo! Go! Relax!”

A mass of sighs came from the staff. I hadn’t realized that they had even been holding their breath. Chatting and light laughter came from the ponies as they quickly walked out of the kitchen and into the side room. Most brushed themselves off, but others were just happy to be able to sit down. Almost all of them still avoided me, but some braver ones or maybe inattentive ones, passed suspiciously close to me.

I would have loved to have a break as well, but I had a suspicion that endless fire wouldn’t be a welcome addition to the brake room. So I sat there, blowing fire into the ovens. The kitchen soon cleared out and I was left alone with Chef Flour. The mare sighed deeply, looked around, and hung her head.

“Aren’t you going to take a break as well?” she asked without looking my way.

I shook my head. This was the only action I could actually perform unless I wanted another round of “Mffriggle mcdootle,” coming out of my pie hole. She nodded and looked me in the eye.

“You know, I respect that Scale. You’re a hard worker. You’ve done good today.”

She walked away to clean herself off. Of course, I kind of lost track of time due to the fact that she had actually said my name and I think she threw in a compliment too. My brain was already exploding and there she goes and makes it explode again. Is that possible? Is it possible to explode twice? Whatever the case, I could tell that Flour was starting to calm down as she paced around and looked over her messy kitchen. Soon, however, the fifteen minutes were over and the staff walked back into the kitchen quite cheerily.

“Attention all staff!” declared Flour after they had reentered. “We’re almost done for the day. Just another hour or two of good hard work and then you can all go home.”

The kitchen staff raised a small cheer and got right back to work. There was a kind of rhythm in the kitchen that I began to pick up on as the last few hours passed. Each pony had their job and knew what they were doing. One would finish using an oven and not a second later another would be right there to take their place. One pony would grab for a bowl, but would actually snag a tray as well and pass it on to another in the staff. Chef Flour was the main cog in this ‘machine’ as it turned out. She would keep everypony at the top of their game, and would always give praise but only if the staff really deserved it.

At long last, the work day ended. I glanced around the kitchen. It was dirty, but everything smelled so wonderful. Amazing dishes were spread out everywhere and server ponies would come in and take the wonderful looking food away to some large dinner party. To tell the truth I didn’t know that spinach could look so tasty. The staff quickly cleaned up their messes and then walked out of the kitchen. When they had all left, except for Chip and Flour, the most wondrous thing occurred: My fire finally stopped! One long stream of smoke exited my lungs and then…nothing. Blessed nothingness!

I instantly collapsed to the floor and sucked in clean, fresh, fireless, air. Oh the bliss of simply breathing! I felt like I was in heaven.

“Scale, you alright there bud?” Chip asked as he walked up to me.

“I can breath,” I whispered contentedly.

Then I started laughing. It felt so good to finally be free.

“Mister Coco, a bit of a rough start today, but you finished strong,” Flour walked over to us. “And Scale, I shall be seeing you again tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“But of course! With you around we don’t need to waste any resources for heating the ovens. I’m going to have a chat with Princess Celestia about having you instated as an official staff member. I could use more hard workers like you, even if you do eat too much. Well, good evening.”

She nodded her head respectfully toward us and then left the kitchen.

“So, anything you want to do with the rest of your day?” Chip asked.

“Sleep,” I stated. And I promptly crashed right then and there.