When the Bough Breaks

Applebuck season is over now. Took a lot longer without Applejack...but Apple Bloom and AJ’s friends helped when they could. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but having them here sometimes makes it harder. Rarity is always hinting she wants to talk but I’d rather not right now. Can’t be all that important.

Apple Bloom’s getting by. I try not to worry about her, but I can tell she’s hurting. She’s holds more things in now, like her sister used to...and like I still do. I keep asking Granny Smith  about it. I tell her that Apple Bloom needs to go  somewhere for awhile so she can have a change of environment. But Granny Smith always insists that Apples stick together. She’s gotten so much more crankier since Applejack passed. Maybe it’s just her getting old and I never noticed it.

Right now, I’m making the annual barrels of apple cider to store for the winter. It will be harder to make it all without AJ...but it will have to work. It usually does anyway. Rarity is of course inspecting and sorting the apples, and trying to get me to talk.

“Are you certain you want to mix Galas and Golden Delicious?”

“Nope.” I say and she levitates an apple into it’s proper barrel. She knew better than to ask if I wanted to mix the two. Stupid mare.

“How is Apple Bloom handling the situation?”

“Ask her.” I say with a shrug, drowning her out for awhile by rolling a barrel up to the spigot.

“I shall then. How are you...”

“Applejack’s death isn’t a situation, Rarity. It happened and it’s no good talking about it.” I could practically hear her roll her eyes.

“Finally, you speak.” I shrug her off then turn the spigot handle with my mouth. “My concern is mostly for Apple Bloom.” I turn the spigot off.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Well, I understand she is an Apple and needs to stay with her family...but, Sweetie Belle has told me how much of a change has come over Apple Bloom since Applejack passed away... I know it's none of my concern but it troubles me. I just wonder if it would be better for her, for this next semester of the school year, to go to a boarding school to get away and recover. Just for a while... I think a change of scenery would help her. What do you think?”

“...Ee-yup.” is all I say.

“Really? I would have thought you would put up more of a fight.”

“Nope.”

“Well, There is one school in Canterlot I was considering...”

“Before asking me?” I interject, turning the spigot on again.

“Well, I was looking to send Sweetie Belle there...”

“Hmph...”

“Well, I was intending to send her there!”

“Send who where?” Granny Smith pipes up over the sound of cider filling the barrel.

“Oh, why hello, Granny Smith, I was suggesting that sending Apple Bloom to school in Canterlot with Sweetie Belle might be good for her...”

“But that’s a family affair, Rarity.” Granny Smith says cooly. I become very interested in how the cider is coming along.

“Of course. It was only a friendly suggestion.”

“Aw, shucks, Rarity. Don’t feel the need to apologize! It’s the thought for us that counts...” Granny Smith says, poking Rarity with a wrinkled hoof, “...no matter how misguided... But we apples can defend ourselves. A strong apple tree only needs itself for support, you see. But we certainly appreciate the concern.”

I can almost feel the heat radiating off of Rarity. Not really sure if I feel bad for her though. I reckon both of them are too stubborn for their own good. Although...Rarity’s suggestion does seem like a mighty good one. Perhaps coming from me it wouldn’t be so bad sounding to Granny Smith. Maybe after this has cooled off for a bit. I wait for Rarity to blow up, continue to argument, or say something ridiculous. She just smiles politely, nods, then walks off. The spigot runs dry and I close and seal the barrel. Granny Smith’s eyes are on me the whole time. I know I’m about to get a talking-to. Not entirely sure about what this time.

“Big McIntosh...”

“Ee-yup?”

“Where did Rarity get an idea like that? That we’d send Apple Bloom off to Canerlot to some Hoity-toity school?”

“Don’t know.”

“And just why was Rarity down here in the first place?”

“She was helping me.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you told her to keep her muzzle to herself!” she said with a firm nod before climbing the stairs again. I wonder how in Equestria she’s lived this long... She’s grown more creaky than the stairs. Guess she just refuses to die. If only all Apple mares could be that able to control their lives...

Nope. I won’t think about it. Applejack couldn’t have been saved. She died the way she wanted. But Apple Bloom...Apple Bloom will have a chance too. Hopefully a better one. I roll the barrel to stand with the others by the wall. We won’t need as much this year.

Why is it only with Applejack that I have trouble with crying? I’ve cried over her before because I’ve missed her...but why can’t I now? I got nopony to impress and nopony to stop me from crying. It don't make any sense to me.

Maybe...maybe because this time she’s really gone for good. All those other times she was planning on coming back or could come back...now she is back...and can’t ever leave. There's no more hope to see her again. She only exists in pictures and memories now...and I still can't give her the decency to cry for her.

“Big Mac?” I hear Apple Bloom ask me. I turn and almost think I see Mama’s face coming through in the filly who is growing up so quickly. She’s wearing her saddle bag.

“Ee-yup?”

“Were you crying down here?”

“Nope. What are you down here for?”

“Granny Smith said I’d find you here...I was just wondering if you were crying and needed Miss Smartypants...”

I had no reason to be angry with her. She was allowed in my room or AJ’s old room. She already knew about Miss Smartypants. Yet, seeing her take the doll out and hold it in her mouth towards me...thinking she could change something...

“Quit touching my things!” I shout before ripping the doll away from her. I ignore her eyes welling up and carry Miss Smartypants off towards my room upstairs. Applejack and I had talked around the time she was born. I couldn’t help but agree. Things would have been better if she had never come around. Mom would still be around. Maybe Applejack would have made it better. Only my mom could ever stand up to Granny Smith and maybe we could have done more than just follow tradition...

She don’t deserve this.

I’m outside the cellar and I place Miss Smartypants on the table of the kitchen and return. Apple Bloom is standing where I left her and she tries to hide her face from me. I don’t need anypony to tell me Applejack would be ashamed. I’m ashamed enough of myself.

I lie on the floor next to her and place my foreleg across her withers. She lies down too and lets her tears go. I sigh as she leans up against me and cries. I don’t have to apologize but she knows I’m sorry.

I think I need to talk to Granny Smith about school a little more seriously. I have to get Apple Bloom out of here and away from me. I just don't know what it is.