Shadow of Fury

Chapter 8

Adventures Part III

Reaper woke up groggily. Despite the use of the term, "waking up," this did not imply that he opened his eyes. It was far to early to waste precious energy doing something so dangerous. Once he opened his eyes, there was no way he would go back to sleep. And right now, all he wanted was sleep. Last night, when he arrived home, he had been so tired from his day with Pinkie Pie that he never made it to his bedroom. He had collapsed on his couch and practically passed out. It was on this uncomfortable, lumpy couch that Reaper lay now. Suddenly he smelled something. At first, he panicked, expecting it to be the smell of smoke from a fire(undoubtedly caused by Sputnik). However, his nerves were quickly calmed as he took more deep breaths. The smell was strange. It smelled.......sweet.

Reaper began to worry again, but not as badly as before. What was this strange smell in his house? Why did it smell so good? Reaper came to a horrible realization. He would have to open his eyes. Slowly, cautiously, Reaper opened his eyes, to be greeted by........................Pinkie Pie. "Hi!" She said. Reaper yelped in fear, cloaking involuntarily.

Pinkie looked around confusedly. "Reapy, I think you did your cloakey-thingey again," she said. For a moment Reaper considered simply staying invisible and throwing Pinkie out, but instead decided for a more diplomatic approach. He decloaked, before addressing the pink nuisance herself.

"Pinkie," he started calmly, "What in the name of the old kings are you doing in my house?"

Pinkie simply smiled. "Oh, that's easy! After what you told me yesterday, about how I couldn't make you smile cuz you're a changeling and I'm a pony and we're too different for me to make you smile, I started thinking about how to make you smile,"

Reaper's scowl grew just a little bigger. 'Glad to seeI got my point across,' he thought.

"So I started thinking about what's made everyone else I know who isn't a pony smile. And then I realised, the answer is food!"

Reaper facehoofed. "Pinkie, I'm a changeling. I feed on emotions. Your pony food is less than useless to me. How did you even get in here?"

At that point, Sputnik popped up behind Pinkie Pie, and waved hello to his master. Reaper's eye twitched. "Don't answer that, I figured it out,"

But Pinkie would not be so easily dissuaded. "Reapy, come on!" she said. "Can't you at least try it?"

Reaper scowled. "Fine, I will subject myself to trying whatever horrid confection you wish for me to taste,"

Pinkie squeed in delight, before leading Reaper to his seat at the table. At his seat was a plate with a stack of strange, circular pastries with grid patterns throughout them. Syrup had been drizzled all over the stack.  He sniffed it cautiously, before levitating a fork and plunging it into the strange food.

Pinkie watched anxiously as Reaper slowly brought the treat to his mouth. The tension was so great that Pinkie thought she could eat it. Finally, the forkful of food entered the changeling's mouth. He chewed slowly. Suddenly, Reaper's eyes widened in shock. "This is actually really good! What is this treat called?"

Pinkie delayed in her response because she was annoyed. Despite being seemingly happy, Reaper still failed to smile. She stayed silent for a moment, before realizing what he asked. "Oh, those are called waffles,"

Reaper chewed on the waffle. "I enjoy these, 'waffles,' very much," he said with an irritatingly flat face. "I desire more!"

Pinkie smiled a little. She had at least won in that respect. She began work on the next set of waffles, while Reaper continued to munch on his waffle.

Reaper suddenly felt a disturbance. He reached up to his head and confirmed his suspicions. His hat! Where was his hat? Panicking, he quickly turned his head to and fro, searching the room for it. Finally, he found the desired object resting on a coat hanger - conveniently placed next to the stove.

What followed all happened in slow motion for Reaper. Sputnik was walking around, being stupid. Pinkie slowly bounced  towards the stove, eyes closed happily as she bounded along. Sputnik noticed an insect crawling along the floor, and began to chase it. Pinkie reached for a pan. Sputnik bumped into the coat hanger. Reaper watched in horror as the hat fell on top of the stove. Pinkie turned on the stove, never opening her eyes and noticing the precious piece of headwear.

Reaper's eye twitched in absolute shock and disbelief as his most prized possession went up in flames. Pinkie opened her eyes, noticing her fatal mistake. Sputnik, too, realized what had happened. Both waited anxiously for Reaper to react, but for a long time, he simply sat silently, watching the ashes that were once his top hat burn. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Reaper spoke.

"GET. OUT."

And with that, he threw both Pinkie and Sputnik out of his house.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *   *

Reaper lay slumped against his front door, not knowing what to do. The loss of his prized hat still weighed heavily on him. What would he do now? The hat was more than just an article of clothing, it was his way of showing his departure from the hive. It was all that separated him from being a monster or a friend in the eyes of the ponies. And now it was gone. Suddenly, an envelope fell through the mail slot. Reaper opened it, and began to read.

Dear Reapy,

I know you're mad since you lost your hat, but I just wanted to say that I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, reallly, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, sorry!

So, to make it up to you, I was thinking that maybe you should visit my friend Rarity's place. She works at Carousel Boutique, and I'm sure she'd be more than happy to make you a new hat. Again, I'm really, super-duper sorry!

-Love, Pinkie Pie

Reaper threw the letter away in disgust. He lay against the door, a scowl on his face, contemplating his situation. Was it worth it? He didn't have enough money to pay for what he assumed was the price necessary. Damn. He'd have to figure it out later, but it was clear that he had no choice but to go to this Rarity's workplace and get a new hat. He sighed, before opening the door and cloaking. He couldn't risk being spotted and mistaken for a changeling spy. Then, he began to head in the direction of Carousel Boutique.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Willus arrived at Fluttershy's cottage at around noon. He honestly didn't know what to expect out of today, and doubed Fluttershy would be able to find a suitable pet for him. It wasn't that he disliked animals or anything like that, it was just that he didn't think he would be any good at keeping them. Willus was used to books. He liked books. He loved books. Books didn't move, didn't need to be fed, didn't make a mess. He was certain having a pet would challenge all of that.

Fluttershy opened the door upon hearing him knock on it. "Oh, hi Willus! I'm so glad you could make it," she said quietly.

"Don't mention it," he said, "I'm just glad you want to help!"

"Well, come in, then. We should probably get started,"

Willus was struck by how cozy Fluttershy's house felt. The very building itself seemed to radiate a kind of airy, natural warmth. The entire room emanated a feeling, similar to lying down in the grass on a sunny day. All kinds of animals, from rabbits and squirrels to birds and mice, scurried around the house, traveling to and fro from their respective dwellings.

The first animal to walk up to Willus was a very angry looking bunny, who hopped up to fluttershy and forced a cookbook into her hooves. Willus never saw what page it was on, but Fluttershy's reaction told him enough. "I'm sorry, Angel, but I have somepony over who needs my help right now. I'll make this for you later, okay?" Angel merely huffed, before hopping away to go do whatever it was that he did when he wasn't with Fluttershy.

Fluttershy led Willus to her backyard, which had a path leading to the Everfree Forest. Animals were frolicking in the soft grass, but suddenly perked up when Fluttershy entered the area. All of the animals present then lined up for her to address them. Present were a ferret, a bunny, a bear, a snake, and a squirrel. Fluttershy walked up to the group of critters and turned to Willus. "These are all the little critters who want to be pets, at lest I think so," she said worriedly, before doing a quick head count. "Wait," she said worriedly, "one is missing!"

It was then that a small sparrow appeared, hopping up behind the bear. Willus was surprised to see that the bird had only one wing, with bandages covering the area where the other wing should be. "Oh, there you are Terrence!" Fluttershy said upon his arrival. "I was wondering where you went,"

Willus looked over the animals present, and addressed them, although one might argue he was talking more to himself. "Alright, which of you is least likely to hurt my books?" He looked at the bear and the snake. "Okay, you two are definitely out," With audible "aww"s of disappointment, the two walked(slithered) away. Fluttershy, however, tried to console them. "It's okay, I'm sure somepony will want you," Afterwards, the pair disappeared into the everfree forest.

The remaining animals began to shuffle about worriedly. "Now, you have all been selected as being eligible to be my pet," Willus said to the remaining critters. "Unfortunately, there are four of you, and only one will be my pet. So, to narrow things down, we're going to have a series of games. Whoever wins will be my companion! Now who's ready?" The animals began to get even more worried. The rabbit started sweating profusely.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy merely looked on and facehoofed. It was Rainbow Dash all over again. She sighed, and decided to go get a cup of her "Special Cider," which she kept for just these kinds of occasions. It was going to be a very long day.

*  *  *  * *  *  * *  *  *  *  *  *

Lightning Hawk stood outside of Twilight's house, a bouquet of daisies in tow. He had picked them up from a florist on his way to the library. Because mares liked flowers. And Twilight was a mare. Therefore she must like flowers. And if she liked flowers, she would like him for getting her flowers. It was absolute genius, he had to admit. At least by his standards. He was, after all, the pegasus who thought punching an ursa major in the face was a good idea.

Lightning took a deep breath, then opened the door. "Twilight? Twilight?" he called into the library. Instead of Twilight, however, Spike appeared. Lightning felt disappointed. "Sorry, Lightning. Twilight's not here today. She went off to Canterlot to talk with Princess Celestia. Guess that's what happens when she's your teacher," he said with a slight tone of annoyance. "She'll probably be back tonight,"

Lightning, however, would not brush this aside so easily. "Wait, did you just say Princess Celestia? As in THE Princess Celestia?" he asked.

"Yeah, so?" Spike asked in a bored tone.

"So? SO?" Lighting shouted, panicking. "This changes everything! Now she's WAY out of my league! I mean, she was out of my league before, but NOW! It's just a lost cause at this point. I mean, how can I, some random pegasus, possibly hope to win over the heart of Princess Celestia's personal student?!"

Spike, however, was not worried. "Dude, don't worry. You're a great guy! So what if she happens to be studying under the most powerful pony in all of equestria? That's more of a con than a pro,"

"But won't she have higher standards then? And if she's used to Canterlot, then the chances that she'll like me are even lower!" Lightning continued to panic.

Spike was getting a little frustrated. "Look, I don't think your getting what I'm trying to say. You're a fantastic colt with a great personality. What more would twilight want?"

"Money, power, fame," Lightning responded, counting off the obvious things.

Spike thought for a moment. "Point taken. But still, it's not like she's the most popular mare in the world, especially when it comes to colts. She'd be just as surprised as anypony to find out she has a secret admirer,"

Now it was Lightning Hawk's turn to think. "But even if that's true," he said, "how would I even go about telling her how I really feel about her?"

At this, Spike became visibly more excited. "Well, then. Looks like somepony might need a little help with romance. I'm happy to tell you you've come to the right dragon,"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. I've spent plenty of time reading books on how to pick up mares. If anyone knows how to do it, it's me,"

"Has it ever worked?"

Spike blushed. "Well, you see, here's the thing. I've never gotten around to actually trying to use them," he said. Lightning rolled his eyes. "But, hey! There's a first time for everything, right?"

Lightning sighed. It wasn't like he had anything else to do today. "Fine. Go ahead, teach me,"

"Great!" Spike said enthusiastically. "Now we can start with those flowers of yours,"

Lightning looked down at the bouquet of daisies he held in his hoof. "What about 'em?" he asked.

"Twilight hates flowers," Spike said, crushing Lightning's previous notions. "Especially daisies," That was just insult to injury.

"But I was a genius-" Lightning mumbled sadly to himself.

"If you really want to impress her, you're going to have to do something awesome. But not too awesome, otherwise you'll just look like Rainbow Dash. It also needs to be a favor to her in some way, otherwise she won't notice,"

"But I thought you just said my personality was enough?"

Spike sighed disappointedly. "Lightning, if you're going to do something, always do it in style," he said simply. Spike then began tapping a claw to his chin as he tried to think of something for Lightning to do.

"Aha! I got it!" He suddenly shouted.

"What? What is it?" Lightning asked.

Spike grabbed Lightning by the hoof and began to lead him towards the door. "I'll explain on the way. For now, you just need to help me find a chainsaw!"

Lightning gulped. It was going to be one of those days.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

The invisible Reaper stood outside of a building labeled "Carousel Boutique." This had to be the place. He took a deep breath, took a look around to ensure that nopony was present, decloaked and knocked on the door.

Rarity opened the door to be met face to face with a changeling. She screamed, "Changeling!" at the top of her lungs before giving it the hardest punch to the jaw she could muster. She smiled in satisfaction as the insectoid was sent sprawling on the floor. "Ha! Try and disguise yourself as moi would you? Well, I'm afraid you chose the wrong mare!"

Reaper's head was spinning. Who would have thought that such a ladylike mare could pack such a wallop. "Crazy mare," he mumbled loudly. "It's me, Reaper! Remember? Ponyville's resident changeling?"

Rarity blinked for a moment. Suddenly, realisation hit her. "Reaper! Oh, dear me! I'm so sorry, but without your hat to set you apart, I thought you were just an ordinary changeling!" Rarity helped the dazed changeling back up as he rubbed his aching jaw. "Speaking of which, whatever happened to it?" she asked. "Funny you should ask," Reaper replied in a grumpy tone as she led him inside and shut the door.

Reaper told her everything that had transpired. Pinkie, the waffles, Sputnik, and finally, the tragic fate of Hatty. He finished by explaining how Pinkie had left the letter for him, followed by his unseen trek to her boutique. "And that's why I need a new hat," he said, out of breath from both his storytelling and the beating he took. Rarity thought for a moment, mulling over the information she had just taken in.

"Well, luckily for you, today's a quiet day here at the boutique, so I can probably have it finished within a few hours," she said.

"Really?" Reaper asked, suddenly perking up.

"Of course, dear. Now that'll be thirty bits,"

Reaper's face fell from surprised to a more natural scowl. His horn glowed, and a small bag teleported in front of him. he opened the bag, revealing it to contain fifteen bits. Great.

"That may be a problem...." He said, "I only have fifteen bits,"

"Oh, that's alright dear! You can just pay me the rest with a favor," Rarity replied.

Reaper was shocked. "Really? Why?"

"Well, I'm not the Element of Generosity for nothing!"

Now, Reaper was no fool. During the course of his research into the ponies he now surrounded himself with, he had learned all about the Elements of Harmony. He knew about Twilight Sparkle, her friends(Pinkie and Rarity among them), and the adventures they had gone on. If they could defeat not one, but two Gods, could they not help him take back the empire so swiftly taken from him?

Rarity's voice broke him out of his brief trance. "Of course, I am running a business here, and I do need to keep it going, so your favor will have to be business related. You wouldn't mind, would you?" she asked.

Reaper hardly noticed, nor cared. "Yes, yes, whatever. As long as I get my hat back,"

Rarity smiled, then left to prepare whatever it was she wanted Reaper to do. He simply waited, wondering what it could be. Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad, right? Right?

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Reaper felt an excruciating itch in his side. Normally, he would scratch it, but at present that was simply not possible. He was under oath to not move, and no matter how much he may have wanted to, he could not. The reason for that was incredibly embarassing. He thanked Celestia- that was who ponies thanked, right?- that noling he knew was here. For Reaper, once the mighty high general of the Changeling Empire, was now standing in a fluffy, red dress.

Rarity took in every ounce of her captive model. "Alright," she said, "now Applejack,"

Reaper hissed softly in annoyance, before shifting. In a flash of cyan fire, the changeling was replaced with a very annoyed-looking farmer. "How's this?" Applejack asked in Reaper's voice, a combination that nearly caused Rarity to die of laughter. BUt a lady must be self-contained, of course, so she held it in. "That's fine, dear. Red isn't her color anyway," Reaper returned to his natural form, before asking, "Is that it?"

"Sweet Celestia, no! We still have the rest of my friends to go through!"

Reaper groaned, and prepared to shift into his next form. "Very well," he grumbled. It mattered not how many ponies he must impersonate in this infernal clothing. No price was too high for his top hat.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Willus stared at the obstacle course he had constructed. He didn't like to brag, but damn. That was one finely made obstacle course. It was so good, in fact, even HE wasn't entirely sure what surprises it contained. It was that good. He was that good.

The ferret, rabbit, squirrel, and one-winged sparrow stood behind the designated starting line. Willus walked up to them, and began to speak. "Alright, listen up, critters! In this obstacle course are a series of challenges similar to things that my pet will encounter on a day-to-day basis. Your reaction to these challenges will dictate everything - and I mean everything! - that helps you. This is the only test. If you fail, you fail. Now good luck,"

After this inspirational pep-talk, that animals each prepared to run the course. The squirrel and ferret looked down at the one-winged sparrow. 'Loser,' they both seemed to express through their faces. The sparrow chirped sadly.

Fluttershy watched from a distance, sipping from her mug of Special Cider. She couldn't help but notice that she was feeling a growing sense of anger inside. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but it seemed to be that everytime somepony came to her for a pet, they had to make it some sort of sick competition. It was horrible. Fluttershy would have said something, but judging from how fuzzy she was feeling, she would probably say something far meaner than intended. And so, Fluttershy watched, silently seething, hoping for the best.

Willus watched the animals line up. They each took their respective postitions, their little muscles tensed as they prepared to prove their worth. Willus blew his whistle and they shot off. All except for Terrence the one-winged sparrow, who hopped forward a few paces before tripping.

The first obstacle was a series of collapsed bookshelves. The three mammals adeptly scurried underneath the tilted structures, making sure not to bump into one and cause it to fall. They passed easily, and continued on to the next obstacle. However, Terrence stopped once he reached these. Instead of running past them, he turned around, and found a rock of considerable size. With great difficulty, he pushed this rock towards the bookshelves, until it finally reached a position in which it supported all of them. With a tap of his taloned foot, the bookshelves sat upright.

The next obstacle was more intimidating. This was Trial By Fire. A path of smoldering rocks lay between the critters and their next destination, and there were only two ways to cross. Either by taking the inferno of a road in front of them, or traversing the rough terrain around it. Obviously, all thee opted for the second option, and after a short space were on their way to the next obstacle. When Terrence reached the road, he paused. With a chirp that probably translated to "YOLO," Terrence hopped across quickly through the burning coals. Upon reaching the other side, he realised that he had been deceived, and that the heat was just an illusion. Curtosy of Willus' magic no doubt. He advanced to the third and final obstacle.

This was quite possibly the most difficult obstacle of them all. Between the critters and the finish line was a great, steaming, pit filled to the brim with mashed potatoes. As they reached it, all four animals stopped and stared at the thing, perplexed. On the sidelines, Fluttershy, too, was confused. "Hey, Willus?" she said, not noticing how drunk her voice had become. "Under what circ-*hic*-circumstances would a pit of mashed potatoes be *hic* day-to-day?"

Willus looked at her in a manner that was both surprised and confused. "Don't judge me," he said simply, before asking, "How many of those have you had to drink?" while gesturing to her mug of Special Cider.

Fluttershy closed one eye, while using the other to thoroughly examine her mug. Willus didn't know it, but she was actually giving it The Stare. "Uhhh," she said, "Six? I think. Maybe *hic* seven,"

Willus began to feel awkward. "Don't you think that's a little much?" he asked quietly.

"Nah, nah, *hic* it's cool," Fluttershy said uncharacteristically. Willus gulped, and turned back to the competing critters. He really hoped they would be done soon.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Lightning and Spike stood before a large block of solid wood, Lightning with a chainsaw in tow. "Are you sure about this?" he asked Spike.

"Of course, I am. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Remind me, why am I doing this again?"

Spike rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I already told you. If you wanna win over Twilight you have to impress her. And If you want to impress her, all you have to do is carve an exact replica of her out of wood with a chainsaw!" he said as if his plan were the obvious conclusion. "If you say so," Lightning replied unsurely, before lifting the chainsaw and revving it up.

He was about to make the first cut when he was interrupted by a certain robotic cat falling out of the tree next to him. Sputnik landed with a metallic thud as he hit the ground. "Hi!" he said cheerily.

Lightning and Spike looked at him oddly. "Hey, aren't you Reaper's robot? Uhh...Sputnik right?" Lightning asked.

Sputnik merely made a "mmhmm" sound to answer Lightning's question. "What were you doing in that tree?" Spike asked.

"Oh, well, this morning, I was with Master, and the Pinkie Cake was there tooo. And I saw a bug, and then I did a little dance," Sputnik said, showing of his moves at the same time. "But then I knocked Master's hat into a fire, and then he gots real mad at me and Rose Pie! So then he kicked us outs the house, and I saw this tree! And I sayed, 'Hi Tree,' but it just ignored me. So I gots real mad just like Boss, so I jumped up on the tree and started beatin it, like this!" Sputnik proceeded to lunge at the tree, but merely bounced off. "And that's how Equesria was made!"

Lightning and Spike were at a loss for words. "Well, I don't really doubt him," Spike said simply, deciding to leave the topic at that.

"So what you guys up to?" Sputnik asked, apparently forgetting the insulting tree.

"Well, Lightning over here was gonna make a statue to win over Twilight," Spike said, ignoring Lightning Hawks gestures to stop talking. 'Great, why don't you just tell everyone?' Lightning thought angrily.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I help?"

Spike and Lightning hesitated. "Well...."

"I know all abouts the ladies! I can help you get the mare you want!"

At this, Spike huffed. "You? Know all about the ladies? Ha! When pigs fly,"

It was right at that moment that a pig flew overhead, apparently launched at high velocity. It whizzed through the air for a moment, before being caught by a pegasus who happened to be nearby. There was a silence among the three on the ground. "Well, this is awkward," Lightning said.

Sputnik groaned in annoyance. "Well, if you guys don't believe me, I'll just have to tell you my wise wards,"

"Don't you mean 'words'?"

"Nope. 'Wards',"

Sputnik then leaned next to Spike's ear(or hole or whatever he has) and whispered something. "Dear sweet Celestia! That's amazing!" he said. Sputnik nodded in an 'I told you so' fashion.

"What? What's amazing?" Lightning asked, feeling left behind.

Spike and Sputnik looked at each other, both knowing what to do.

(Link) "If you wanna get Twilight, you just gotta act stupid!" they said in unison.

Lightning Hawk was confused. "Act stupid? In what universe does that make sense?"

"Opposites attract, right? So if you act like an idiot, Twilight will like you for sure!"

"I still don't get it,"

Sputnik and Spike groaned. "Look, let me explain it to you," Sputnik said.

Sputnik then jumped in front of Lightning Hawk, grabbed the chainsaw he held in his hooves, and threw it nonchalantly behind him. Then he began to sing.

Sputnik:  Put down that chainsaw and listen to me,

It's time for us to join in the fight!

It's time to let your fillies

grow up to be cowcolts,

It's time to let the bedbugs bite!

You better put all your eggs in one basket,

You better count your chickens before they hatch,

You better sell some wine

before its time,

You better find yourself an itch to scratch!

Spike: You better take all the books that you can,

when the librarian's not around!

Stick your head in a microwave

and get yourself a tan!

Sputnik: Talk with your mouth full!

Bite the hand that feeds you!

Bite off more than you can chew!

What can you do?

Dare to be stupid!

Take some wooden nickels,

Look for the mailmare,

Get your mojo working now!

I'll show you how!

You can dare to be stupid!

You can turn the other cheek,

You can just give up the ship.

Spike: You can eat a bunch of hay-fries

then forget to leave a tip!

Both:  Dare to be stupid!

Come on and

dare to be stupid!

It's so easy to do!

(Dare to be stupid!)

We're all waiting for you!

Sputnik: Let's go!

This musical number had not helped Lightning however. "This still doesn't make any sense! Am I supposed to try and just be lovably idiotic and hope she likes it?"

"That's exactly what we're saying!" Spike said. "It's genius, isn't it?"

"Whatever floats your boat..."

Sputnik: It's time to make a mountain

out of a molehill,

so can I have a volunteer?

There's no more time for crying over spilled milk,

now it's time for crying in cider!

Settle down,

Raise a family,

Join the PTA,

Buy some sensible shoes,

Then say, "What the hay?"

Then party til your broke

And they drag you away,

It's okay!

Both: You can dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: It's like spitting on a fish!

Spike: It's like barking up a tree!

Both: It's like I say you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free!

Lightning was starting to get it. "Yes," he said, motioning for them to continue.

Spike: Why don't you dare to be stupid?

Sputnik: It's so easy to do!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: We're all waiting for you!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Spike: Burn a candle at both ends,

Look a gift horse in the mouth!

Mashed potatoes

can be your friends!

Sputnik: You can be

A coffee achiever,

You can just live in the woods,

And leave it to beavers!

The future's up to you!

So what you gonna do?

Both: Dare to be stupid!

Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: What did I say?

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Tell me, what did I say?

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: It's alright!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: We can be stupid all night!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Come on, join the crowd!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Shout it out loud!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: I can't hear you!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Okay, I can hear you now!

Spike: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Let's go, Dare to be stupid!

Both: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Dare to be stupid!

Both: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Dare to be stupid!

Both: Dare to be stupid!

Sputnik: Dare to be stupid!

Both: Dare to be stupid!

Spike and Sputnik finished their song, panting from exhaustion. "So? What do you think?" Spike asked.

"Well, the idea has some merit," Lightning said. Spike and Sputnik grew excited. "But no. I think I'll just stick to doing things my way,"

One could actually here the duo deflate in dissapointment. "Are you kidding?" Spike asked. For whatever reason, Sputnik actually cheered, but that was probably because he was a moron. Spike groaned. "Well, if you're not gonna take our expert advice, can you at least ask somepony else?"

"Like who?"

"I don't know, Rarity seems like she reads a lot of romance novels,"

Lightning considered it for a moment. "Yeah, sure. Why not?" he decided.

"Good," Spike said grumpily, and the trio made for Carousel Boutique, Sputnik singing all the way.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Reaper sat in a chair next to Rarity's front desk, happy to be out of that damned dress. Rarity was sitting not far away, working on his new hat. He had made sure to specify that it be exactly the same as his old one, so as not to feel uncomfortable when he wore it. As he sat there, not sure if he wanted to risk reading a magazine, two mares walked in. One was a mint colored unicorn, and the other was a cream colored earth pony. Luckily, Rarity quickly explained that the changeling sitting across from her was indeed Reaper, and not a spy. This prevented the mares from freaking out, after which Rarity properly greeted them.

"So how have you been, Lyra and Bon-bon?"

Reaper nearly groaned. If there was one thing he hated about ponies it was their idle chit-chat. Shouldn't Rarity focus on his hat instead?

"Oh, we've been fine, just a few minor issues," said the mint one. Lyra, if Reaper was correct.

"Oh really? Do tell. That is, if it's not too intrusive, of course," Reaper wanted to barf. 'Please don't,' he thought.

But Reaper's desires were clearly going to be ignored. "Oh, of course not. It's just," Lyra looked at Bon-bon awkwardly. "Are you okay with.....?"

"Yeah, sure," Bon-bon replied.

Lyra thanked her, before continuing.  "You see, Bon-bon's been kinda out of it lately. Neither of us know why, she just feels kinda.......sad? Is that what you told me?"

Bon-bon nodded, before adding, "More of worthless, really. It's weird, I just get these sudden bouts of depression, and I don't know why,"

It was all Reaper could do to not facehoof. These two mares were quite possibly the stupidest beings he had encountered in the last two minutes. Was it really that hard to figure out what was wrong with this, 'Bon-bon?' Not that he cared. He was just observing. Angrily. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Rarity said, breaking Reaper out of his rage-filled trance. "It's too bad Ponyville doesn't have a psychiatrist. I'm sure all of your problems would be solved,"

"Yeah, I know, right?" Bon-bon replied. "If only I had somepony to help me understand these emotions I'm going through,"

Alright, now Reaper was a little curious. He didn't care, but he was curious. He tapped into his sixth sense, which detected emotions. From Bon-bon he noted a lot of sadness. As a matter of fact, she positively reeked of it. It was disgusting, in a way, and pitiful in another. He probed the pony with his sense, trying to determine the cause of such a foul "odor," although it was difficult to apply such a word to an emotion.

Now, Reaper was no mind reader, but he was still able to connect emotions with abstract thoughts and ideas. Let's see...the sadness seemed to be emanating from thoughts about her....past? It was frustratingly vague, but it would have to satisfy him for now. It's not like he cared or anything. Reaper sat for a little while, trying not to pay attention.

"Isn't it weird that I can't even figure out what I'm feeling?" Bon-bon said. Celestia-dammit.

Reaper groaned loudly, getting the three mare's attention. "Excuse me?" Lyra asked.

"I can't take it anymore! Do you know what it's like to be able to feel everything another being is feeling, but not want any of it? Do you?" The mares shook their heads. "Well, I can tell you it sucks! Now, with that out of the way, I must ask, how was your fillyhood?"

All three mares present were slightly unsettled by Reaper's mood swing, but Bon-bon decided to humor him nonetheless. "Well, my mom owned a candy store, and my dad was an architect. Both of my parents wanted me to follow in their footsteps, but I guess I could only have one cutie mark, right?" Bon-bon hoped the joke would help alleviate the tension. Reaper didn't laugh, his stony expression barely changed by his stating, "Go on."

"Well, I eventually got mine in candy-making. I still run the store I got it in, and Lyra shares a room with me,"

"Go on,"

"I guess my dad never got over the fact that I never became an architect. He never really took mom's job seriously, and I think he secretly hated the fact that I followed in her hoofsteps,"

"And do you think he still harbors these emotions?"

It was then that Rarity realized what Reaper was doing, before even he did himself. He was psychoanalyzing her! Rarity didn't know why Reaper had taken it upon himself to do this, but that didn't matter.

"Well, I guess so. I haven't talked to either of my parents ever since they moved to Manehatten,"

"And how long ago was that?"

"Six years ago. They left me here when I was fifteen. I guess they thought that I was mature enough to handle myself,"

"And do you ever feel like they abandoned you?"

"Well, I don't think my mom would have done something like that,"

"But your father?"

Bon-bon hesitated. "Well, maybe," she said slowly.

Reaper nodded, saying "I've determined the source of your problem,"

"You have?"

"Yes. It's actually rather clear now,"

"Then what is it?" Lyra asked, her patience being tried.

"Must I spell it out for you ponies? Clearly, Bon-bon still feels hurt by the possibility that her father abandoned her. Emotions that you had pressed down are now resurging at unpredictable intervals, causing you to feel depression. Duh,"

This, however, did not satisfy Bon-bon. "That's nice to know, but how do I fix this?"

Reaper was admittedly lost for the answer to that. He decided to just make something up to satisfy the mare. "Well, do you like your current life?"

"Yes, I wouldn't give it up for the world!"

"Then screw your father. What does he know?"

Bon-bon was surprised how simple the answer was. But this changeling was right. Screw her dad! It was her life and she was going to live it the way she wanted to!

"Thanks Mr. Reaper! You've helped me more than you can possibly imagine!"

Reaper merely grumbled something along the lines of "Your welcome," but it was too quiet for anypony to be certain. "Wait," Lyra suddenly said, "Something's been bothering me recently too,"

Reaper's left eye twitched. "And that would be?" he asked. Supid ponies with their stupid problems. Why couldn't they just figure it out themselves?

"Well, I also have these weird feelings around certain ponies. I can't really describe it, but-"

"Your homosexual," Reaper interrupted.

There was an awkward silence in the room, all three mares shocked at how matter-of-factly Reaper had said those words. Lyra was the first to speak. "Hey! You're right! I'm homosexual! I'm a filly-fooler!" Reaper merely grinned smugly. 'Thank you sixth sense for sparing me any trouble,' he thought. "Thank you so much for showing me this! I guess I should get right to it!"

Reaper didn't know what Lyra was referring to, but he didn't want to. Now it was Rarity's turn to speak up, having remained silent throughout nearly the whole conersation. "Girls, what did you come in here for again?"

Lyra and Bon-bon looked at each other in confusion. "I don't remember," Bon-bon said. "Huh, guess we got carried away,"

"Well, thanks for stopping by anyway," Rarity replied.

Lyra and Bon-bon left, thanking Reaper again for his help, to which he grunted in response. Rarity then chose to address Reaper over what had happened. "That was a very kind service you made for those two," she said.

Reaper snorted. "You didn't have to put up with the combined stench of their emotions,"

Rarity wasn't sure how to take that, so she just continued on. "All the same, you were very good at what you did. I think you should go on to be a psychiatrist,"

"A psychiatrist? Me? As if. Besides, shouldn't my hat be done by now?"

Rarity looked down at her work. The hat was finished, but Reaper needn't know that. She planned to stall him further, when she was suddenly startled by a tapping noise from her window. She turned to see Sputnik, Spike, and Lightning Hawk standing outside. "Just a moment," she told Reaper, "I have to use the ladies' room,"

Rarity opened the window. "What do you want? I'm in the middle of something!" she said in a hushed tone.

"We need help with something, and you're the only pony we know that might be able to help," Spike said.

"Well then? Spit it out!"

Lightning gulped. "Well, you see, there's this mare-"

"Say no more, dear, I'll tell you exactly what to do," Rarity interrupted.

"Really?"

"Yes, it's quite simple really. All you have to do is be yourself!"

"That's what I said," Spike piped up.

"Ignore him," Lightning said. "So that's all?"

"Yes, dear, it's that simple!" Rarity then turned her attention to Sputnik. "Hey, aren't you Reaper's robot?"

"Mmmhmmm," he replied in a stupid tone.

"Then come closer, I need you to do something for me,"

Rarity leaned out the window, and began to whisper into Sputnik's ear. He would periodically go "uh-huh" every once in a while, signifying that he was paying attention. When she was done, Rarity leaned back in and said, "Now be quick, this is your most important assignment ever!" Sputnik took off running to fulfill his duty, leaving Spike and Lightning Hawk in the dust.

"Well, thanks for the help," Lightning said, before leaving.

Rarity returned to find Reaper tapping his hoof impatiently. "Well? Is it almost finished?" he asked.

"Your hat is ready,"

Reaper snatched the hat from her hooves and began to kiss it as if it were his own child. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" he said.

"Not a problem dear. Now, are you sure you don't want to be a psychiatrist?"

"Positive," Reaper replied without looking up from his hat.

Rarity sighed. "Very well dear. I hope you have a good day!" But Reaper was already gone.

Rarity closed the door Reaper had left open, chuckling to herself. She could already picture his face when he found her little 'surprise.'

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

As Reaper trotted up to his house, he found Rarity's surprise. Above his front door was a sign that said, written in bold red letters, "Reaper's Seyekiatry." Sputnik stood at the door, putting up an open/closed sign, when he noticed his master. "Hi Boss! Do ya like it?"

Reaper merely hissed. "Rarity...." Whatever. Fine. She won. He would take this stupid job, and help the stupid ponies with their stupid lives and their stupid problems. It wasn't like he had any more money to live off of anyway. Maybe something good would come from this after all.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie appeared. "Hi Reaper," she said softly, trying not to anger him.

"Hello, Pinkie," he replied flatly.

"Are you still mad at me?" she asked timidly. Fluttershy would have been proud had she not been inebriated far away.

Reaper paused for a moment, considering Pinkie's question. "Well, I suppose it was just an accident...."

Pinkie squeeled in joy, before boucing away happily. Reaper had to admit that the sight made him feel better, for whatever reason.

Reaper looked up at Sputnik's sign once again. "Come, Sputnik. We have work to do," And with that he went inside.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Boy, things had really escalated quickly. To Willus, it seemed like they had gotten out of hoof incredibly fast. He tried to remember how this had all started.

He was able to trace it back to right after the critters had finished the obstacle course. The placings were - The ferret in first, the squirrel in second, the bunny in third, and the one-winged sparrow at a pitiful fourth. The ferret had seemed to be gloating about his victory to the other three animals. Fluttershy had downed her tenth cup. The ferret then hopped on Willus' back. The weight was annoying, but Willus was sure he'd get used to it. That's when things got weird.

Fluttershy started to mumble something about "Not right," and "Unfair." Willus wasn't too sure what she had said exactly, but whatever it was it seemed to fuel her anger. Suddenly a pig appeared. Willus assumed it had followed them from Fluttershy's cottage, but that hardly mattered. Fluttershy suddenly hoisted the pig over her head and shouted, "Bring me your virgins!" at the top of her lungs. The pig, squeeling in absolute horror, was then thrown violently in Willus' direction. Luckily, Fluttershy was far too drunk to aim properly and the pig was sent flying into the distance to interrupt somepony else's adventure.

And so began what he wished he could describe as an epic battle, but was really more of a cowardly-fleeing-type situation. Drunkenshy was clearly not in a good mood, although Willus had no idea why. Was this really the timid mare he had met the day before? Oh, if only Applejack were here, she would know what to do. As Willus dodged a large rock hurled at him, he turned to the previously competing animals, which were now hiding behind a tree. "Can't you guys do something?" he shouted.

The first to react was the ferret. Perhaps cocky because of his victory, he simply charged Drunkenshy head-on. Bad Idea. Drunkenshy lifted the little ferret and let out a fierce battle cry. The poor little creature was absolutely horrified. Drunkenshy then threw the ferret behind her as if he were a piece of garbage. "Who challenges me next?" she shouted.

The next challenger happened to be the squirrel. Unlike the ferret, the second-placer was not so eager to fight. The squirrel reluctantly climbed a tree, before lobbing an acorn at Drunkenshy. The nut bounced off of her head with a conk-ing sound. Drunkenshy's eyes nearly turned red with pure rage. "Oh no you didn't!" Drunkenshy then slammed her body headfirst into the tree, breaking it in two. The squirrel ran away.

"Cowards!" Willus shouted at the now departed animals, while hypocritically hiding behind a bush. He turned to the rabbit. "Looks like it's your turn," he said. The rabbit gulped loudly before hopping off to face its inebriated mistress. It stood before Drunkenshy, who then gave it The Stare. Dear, sweet, Celestia. That Stare. That all-encompassing, univers-shattering Stare! Its awe and horror caused the rabbit to collapse and have a seizure. Drunkenshy laughed maniacally.

Willus was beginning to panic. He turned to his last hope, Terrence the one-winged sparrow. Yeah, he was doomed. "Well," he said shakily, "You're all that's left! G-Go get 'em!" The little bird chirped in determination, saluting with his single wing. He then hopped off to meet his destiny.

Dunkenshy looked down at the bird. "Ha! You dare face me?" she shouted. The sparrow was unperturbed. As she brought a hoof down to deal a swift and crippling blow, the bird darted to the left, dodging the attack. He then hopped left, then right, then up, landing on Drunkenshy's back. He then proceeded to pinch her at the base of the neck with his small talons. The mare let out a gasp of shock, her eyes rolling over as she slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Willus let out a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. The bird hopped off of Fluttershy's unoncsious body, and looked up a Willus hopefully. "You did good," Willus said, not trying to get the bird's hopes up. After all, he didn't win the obstacle course, did he? But Willus felt bad. All the other critters had failed him when it really mattered, but this one hadn't. Maybe there was something to him after all. "Say, Terrence, right?" The sparrow chirped affirmatively. "How would you like to be my pet?"

The little bird hopped for joy. "That's great!" Willus said, lifting Fluttershy with his magic. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!" Willus walked off into the sunset, with his new pet hitching a ride on his back.

*  *  *  *  * *   *  *  *  *  *

Fluttershy would not wake up until the next morning. When she did, she would have a splitting headache and no memory of what had happened. She vowed never to drink alcohol ever again. She broke that vow a few hours later.

*  *  *  *  * *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Lightning Hawk was at a loss for what to do. After Sputnik had ditched them to go whatever it was he left to go do, Lightning and Spike had returned to the library to see if they could find any books that would help the golden pegasus in his romantic plight. None had proven useful. Lightning let out a groan of annoyance.

"What am I going to do?" he said. Spike lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Well, there's the tried and true 'Fake-Your-Death' method, but we'd need that chainsaw again. And a shed. And ketchup,"

Lightning didn't even bother asking what he meant by that. "Do you think Rarity was right?" he asked. "Should I just be myself and hope that works?"

Spike was silent for a little while.  "I think that only you know the answer to that," he replied eventually. "Nopony can win her over for you, so in the end, it's up to you to decide how you want to do that,"

Lightning nodded. "It's been a long day," he said. "I think I'll head home and think this over,"

As Lightning got up and opened the door, he found himself walking into Twilight Sparkle. Both bounced off of each other and landed flank-first on the ground. "Oh, hi Lightning! Sorry I was out all day, did you need something?"

Once again, Lightning felt himself be hypnotised by her huge, gorgeous eyes. "Uhh...."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"No! I mean, yes! Wait, what? I mean, I did need something, but Spike already helped me with that," Spike waved in the background.

"Oh, well that's nice," Twilight replied. "How is your new home? Did the book help?"

"Yeah, yeah, it helped a lot," Lightning said, slowly creeping his way around Twilight and out hte door. "Look, I hate to end the conversation so abruptly, but I really have to go,"

"Oh, that's okay. Go on ahead now!" Lightning flew away, breathing a sigh of relief for not screwing anything up.

Once he was out of sight, Twlight closed the door, leaving her alone with Spike. "So how did it go?" he asked.

Twilight sighed. "Princess Celestia gave me some very frustrating information. She told me some stuff, but I'm not sure what it means,"

"What did she say?"

"She said that something big was coming, and that I needed to be prepared to do what was neccesarry. It was really weird, like she was holding something back from me. I had never seen her that sad before. It was almost as if she were........afraid,"

"Afraid? What could possibly scare Princess Celestia?"

Twililght paused as she considered the question.

"I don't know, Spike. And I don't think I want to find out,"

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Shamrock sat at his dining table, munching on a bowl of cereal. He stared straight ahead, focused entirely on the flavor of his breakfast. Suddenly, knocking on his door broke him out of his food-induced stupor. "Who could that be?" he asked himself.

Shamrock opened the door to reveal Derpy. "Hey Shamrock! I was doing my rounds, but I just happened to finish right next to your house! So I thought I'd pay you a visit. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not! Come in, please,"

Derpy walked inside, and left her empty mailbag by the door. "So how are things with you?" she asked, taking a seat opposite from where Shamrock was once again eating.

"Fine. How's Dinky?"

Derpy smiled. "She's fine. She takes school very seriously. I say a little too seriously," Both chuckled.

"You know, I hope you don't mind my asking," Shamrock said, "But who's her.....you know...."

"Father?"

Shamrock nodded, and Derpy sighed. "He was such a great colt. He didn't care about how clumsy I was, or how my eyes looked. He used to always say I had the best eyes. But then he got some horrible disease. He knew he wouldn't make it. He made sure to spend his last moments with me and Dinky count. She was just a foal then. He....he....passed not long after," Derpy's eyes began to water.

"I understand. You don't have to say more," Shamrock said.

"You know, it's funny. Last night, I was talking to Dinky, and she said she hoped her dad was like you,"

There was a pause, as Shamrock processed the information.

"What about you?" Derpy asked. "What's your story?"

Shamrock then became uncomfortable. "Are you sure you want to know? Derpy, there are things I've done......things I'm not proud of......things nopony should have to do....Are you sure?"

Derpy's curiosity was only piqued. "Yes, I'm sure,"

Shamrock took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll tell you my story. But you may not be so enthusiastic by the end of it,"

*  *  *  *  *  *   *  *  *

Shamrock was born to a normal family in Manehatten. His family was fairly normal, and he lived a normal life. He attended a normal school. He had normal friends. Well, that part was a lie. They were much better than normal. As a matter of fact, they were pretty much Shamrock's whole life. He was quite the popular colt growing up. In total, he had seventeen friends. This, combined with his exceptional good luck, resulted in his cutie mark - a four leaf clover with a 17 in the center.

All was fine for Shamrock until he left for college. He attended college in Canterlot, and graduated as a stellar student. Happy to have acquired such prestige, he returned home expecting praise. But what he found was nowhere near what he had hoped for. Upon returning home, he found that his friends were not the same ponies they were before. They had all changed, for the worse. Even his parents were hostile and snooty now, and he had no idea why.

Shamrock's life had been turned on its head. For as long as he could remember, he had been entirely dependent on his friends, and now they had rejected him. What was he to do?

What he was to do would change his life forever. Shamrock decided that Equestria was no longer the place for him. He looked to the north, and saw hope in the land of the minotaurs. He had graduated with flying colors, and he knew how to work in the city. Surely nothing could go amiss if he were to immigrate, right?

Wrong. The minotaur kingdom of Minos was in tough times. An economic depression as ravaging the country, and prejudice against other races was not helping to fix the problems. The bulls in charge were both too arrogant and too blind to see that help would only come from foreign influence. Times were hard enough if you were a minotaur, but if you were a pony?

Life was hell.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

The first time Shamrock killed to eat was when he was 20. It was the middle of the Minosan winter. This far north, the cold was absolutely brutal. Shamrock was on the streets, penniless and begging for food. Few were willing to give their hard-earned bread to an outsider. As the blizzard raged on, the green colt took refuge next to a blazing trash can. He tried in vain to warm his hooves, when he spotted a clearly wealthy bull walking through the alley. He wore a luxurious, warm-looking cape, and carried with him a loaf of bread.

Shamrock felt his mouth water, his coat tingle in anticipation of the apparent warmth. The bull gave him a slight glance, before moving on his way. "Another hobo," he muttered. "Damn immigrants,"

Shamrock felt a growing rage inside of him. Who was this bull to judge him? He was poor, put in this place by bad chance and choices. This bull knew nothing. He felt himself get up, and begin walking towards the bull from behind. The bull never saw it coming.

Shamrock hit him in the back of the head. Hard. The minotaur was knocked unconscious instantly. But Shamrock's rage soon got the better of him. He pounded into the bull's head over and over and over, until a pool of red blood stained the snow. Shamrock looked down, shocked at what he had done. How could he have done this? He began to hyperventilate, fearing that someone had seen him. He looked around in a panic, but saw no one.

Shamrock returned to the corpse at his hooves. This ws absolutely horrible. He had killed in cold blood, quite literally given the temperture. But, that cloak did look very warm, and that bread was still edible. Shamrock forced the meager meal into his mouth. With a final glace around, he ran. And never looked back.

*  *  *  *  * *  *   *  *

Shamrock was tortured by that first murder for his whole life. Never again would he be able to sleep soundly. Not that he slept much those days.

Shamrock became a master thief. He had decided quickly that murder was not the way to go. He only wished to return to Equestria, but for that he needed money. And so began a long month of avoiding law enforcement as he tiptoed into the homes of the wealthy at night. He got very, very good at it. He got off without a hitch every time. He became well known as the thief who struck in the night, and the police were always after him. And when they figured out that he had killed the nobleman bull, it got even worse. But still, there were never any problems. Except that one night. That one final night.

Shamrock had already collected all the money he would need to leave, minus a small, insignificant amount. It was hardly anything, equivalent to about five bits. All he needed was to pull off one last heist, and he was homefree.

It went badly. The police were waiting for him, as his reputation had grown significantly in the time he had been doing this. He got the money he needed, and ran. He evaded the cops for as long as he could. He bought his ticket to Equestria, and boarded the train. The head officer arrived just as the train was leaving.

"I swear," he shouted, "On the blood of my father, on the blood of my sons, I will find you, Shamrock!"

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Shamrock arrived in a small village in Equestria, and immediately set out on his own. For a week or two he wandered, until one day when he came upon something that would change his life yet again.

As he wandered through the forest, he thought he heard a young filly scream. He was a little unnerved, but decided it was just a figment of his imagination, and continued on his way. Then it came again, louder this time, and more urgent. This time, Shamrock was sure it was real. Shamrock rushed to the source of the voice.

What he found shocked him as much as it angered him. A little filly, with a gold coat and a dark blue mane, was hiding under a log. Attacking her, trying to shake her from her hiding place, was an ursa minor. The great blue star bear was evidently upset that its current meal was so difficult to acquire. "Help!" The young filly kept shouting, causing the ursa to roar in annoyance.

Shamrock couldn't believe it. Of all things for an ursa minor to attack, it chose a filly? That didn't even make sense. And that made him angry. With a mighty battle cry, he charged the ursa.

The battle was brief. The ursa minor was inexperienced, and relied too much on intimidation. It was no match for the combination of Shamrock's skill and luck. The ursa exploded in a classic ursa death mere moments after engaging Shamrock. With the predator defeated, he returned his attention to the filly. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Mmhmm," she whimpered.

"What were you doing all the way out here?"

"Lost," she mumbled.

"Do you have any parents?"

The filly shook her head.

Shamrock was at a loss for what to do. Clearly this filly was out on her own, and had no one to care for her. She seemed so innocent, yet so tragic. He assumed that her parents must have died, probably recently, but he wasn't sure. He was almost surprised at how little that bothered him. But Death didn't bother him any more. He was numb to Death. In this filly, he saw a chance at redemption. He had done things that nopony should ever have to do, and he wanted to make up for it. Perhaps by adopting this filly, he somehow could.

He took the filly under his wing, and named her Sapphie, for her dark blue mane. She claimed to not have a name, and if she ever ahd one she didn't remember it. The pair of them lived happily for a long time. He built a shack in the woods, a humble home. They lived out their lives, happy to be away from the rest of reality. But, as was a continuing theme with Shamrock, that was not to last.

One day, everything was fine. The birds were singing. The sun was shining. The ground was shaking. Wait, that's not supposed to happen. Shamrock rushed outside of his humble abode to see a sight that would cause most to soil themselves. Sapphire had been playing outside, chasing butterflies. Now she lay dead, reduced to a bloody pulp, at the claws of an ursa major. On that day, Shamrock learned that ursas not only had a sense of justice, but more importantly of revenge. And that had led this ursa, mother of the ursa he had killed, to kill his adoptive daughter.

The battle that ensued was long and exhausting. This ursa was no fool, and knew very well how to fight. Shamrock was nothing to it, even with his astonishing luck. On that day he learned how to perform his Lucky Charm spell, using it on himself. In the end, that won him the battle, but he had suffered heavy blood loss, and at least three of his bones were broken.

Shamrock collapsed on the ground, wishing to be dead.

*  *  *  *  *  *    *  *  *

But fate would have none of that, and in the end, Shamrock was to live. Not only that, but Shamrock was changed. The initial Lucky CHarm spell he had performed on himself had an unitentional side-effect: He could no longer kill. Something that didn't seem so bad, except for one thing. He only wished to kill himself.

With nothing left to accomplish, Shamrock gave up, and moved to nearby town by the name of Ponyville. There, he tried to have a noral life. But that was hard, bogged down with the weight of his past. So he decdided to give it all up - to act as though the pst had never happened. It was no small feat, but he managed.

And then the other ursa attacked Ponyville. Now, his life was changing again, and he didn't know how to respond. And now, for the first time, his fate would lie in the hooves of others.

*  *  *  *  *   *  *  *  *

And so Shamrock concluded his story, both the good and the bad. He took a deep breath, and waited for Derpy to respond. He waited. And waited. And waited some more. "Well? Aren't you going to tell me I'm a horrible pony, and I should never have done those things?" He finally asked, his patience run out.

"No. I'm not," Derpy said simply. This caught Shamrock completely off-guard.

"You're not? Why?"

"Because you did what you had to do. Nopony can judge you, and nopony should judge you. What you did wasn't particularly good, but you had no choice. And I understand that," she said sagely.

Shamrock was pleasantly surprised at her understanding. "Thank you, Derpy," he said. "Most ponies wouldn't react like you would,"

Derpy smiled warmly. "I'm not Most Ponies," she said simply.

Derpy stayed with Shamrock until he finished his breakfast, before returning home. In all his years, Shamrock was never more glad to have a friend.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * *

Reaper awoke to the sound of urgent knocking on his door. He groaned, and looked at his clock. 5:34 in the morning. The knocking came again. This had better be worth it.

Reaper got up and slowly walked towards his door. He thought he smelled something again, but found this to simply be Sputnik cooking. It was too early for Reaper to realize what a horribly dangerous thing that was. He opened the door, revealing Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

"What do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Reaper asked angrily.

"We hate to disturb you, Mr. Reaper," Mr. Cake said warily. "But there's something we want to ask you, and we needed to be pretty early for this to go unnoticed,"

"And why does it matter if it's noticed?"

"If all goes well, it won't," Mrs. Cake interjected.

Reaper hissed softly. "You have my attention," he said.

"Well, here's the thing. We have two foals, which are quickly growing up. You know about that, right?"

Reaper nodded.

"Well, since they're growing up so fast, we realized that they would need to be seperated, and given seperate rooms. We can't do that right now, though, because Pinkie is living with us. Do you follow?"

Reaper nodded.

"Here's where you come in. We were wondering if, maybe, if you don't mind, Pinkie could move in with you? She'd still have her job at Sugarcube corner, and she's great around the house. We just need more room than we can possibly have with her around, y'know?" Mr. Cake concluded.

Reaper thought for a moment. He took a deep breath, before saying, "No,"

"But-"

Mr. Cake was interrupted by the slamming of Reaper's door.

Reaper sighed, before hearing Sputnik's high-pitched voice. "Guess who made waffles!" he shouted, causing the changeling to wince.

"Well, I'm already up. I may as well have some breakfast," he reasoned.

He sat down at the table, and began to unhesitatingly stuff his face with food. Bad idea. Reaper nearly choked as he coughed out the horrid pastry. "These are horrible! How did you make these?"

"They've gots peanutes and soap in 'em!" Sputnik replied cheerily.

"These are the worst things I've ever had the displeasure of tasting. Pinkie Pie's were so much-" Reaper stopped mid-sentence. He then rushed to the door, to find the Cakes had not gone far. "Wait!" he shouted, as he ran to them.

"I've changed my mind," he said between short breaths, panting.

The Cakes looked at each other and smiled.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

"Well, Sputnik, it looks like we're gonna have a new roommate now," Reaper said. "I'm going down to the study to make some precautions. When our new guest arrives, see to it she doesn't destroy anything,"

Sputnik saluted to his master as he walked away. Neither Reaper nor the robot noticed, but Sputnik's normally light blue eyes flashed red.