I took a more laid-back approach to this story. Hope you guys like it.
But remember these next words carefully.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
In case you need it, here's a link to a site that details how to give constructive criticism:
http://personalexcellence.co/blog/constructive-criticism/
~~~ooOoo~~~
And so began the Age of Chaos,
4 Marcs and 4 Provinces,
The Great Serpent and the 20 Heroes of lore,
The 2 Alternatives and the 10 Divines.
-Age of Chaos, by Hobbles Lyra, 5th Bard of Eeust
~oOo~
Gemstone rested calmly in the thick foliage, his sharpened steel blade at his side, it's indented symbols glinting to the sky. The only movement in the forest was the sway of the grass in front of his face, gently caressed by the laying stallions breath. His backpack sat several feet from him, hidden from view by a type of thick tall tree the forest was known for. His emerald eyes peered through the grass, vigilant. Watching. The forest brimmed with bird calls. It was beautiful, and Gemstone wished he could spend more time relaxing here. However that time was not now.
Suddenly the forest went quiet, as if someone had simultaneously killed every creature in the woods. Gemstones dark grey mane rippled as a shiver ran through his body. Another call, this one much more sinister rung through the forest. A wet, gurgling scream echoed through the forest from nearby, its deep tones causing his grey mane to prickle.
He wasn't afraid.
Large footsteps boomed closer, their rumblings vibrating his body. He heard the snap of a tree as it approached
Now.
"Eviiiiiillllll!" He cried as he leaped from his hiding spot high into the air, his sword magically held at the ready. As he fell, he saw a massive grey blob look up, it's dark black eyes scowled at him.
"You will be vanq-" Gemstone was cutoff as a large wet grey fist hammered him into a tree trunk, his body being crushed into the bark as the grey fist enveloped him.
A moment of silence.
A muffled, "Oh manure..." could be heard from within the fist. With the passing of another moment a shining sword burst through the giants hand, cutting upwards and splitting it in two and leaving a pony sized dent in the tree. The small slit burst open as Gemstone let out another yelp, diving towards the giant wet mass with surprising velocity. A clay giant.
The clay giant tried to react, tossing it's other fist at the small pony, but missing as he jumped up and landed on its head. It let out another gurgling wail as it desperately tried to rid himself of the intruder. Trying to knock Gemstone off, it missed and bashed one of it's meaty grey mallets into it's own head. It stumbled for a moment before regaining its balance.
Gemstone jammed his sword into the clay giants belly, making several more fine cuts before hopping out of the giants reach. The giant screamed as a large chunk of clay fell from the side of its stomach and landed on the ground with a plop.
Destabilized and rapidly bending to the right, the giant tossed one more fist at Gemstone. Anticipating this, Gemstone leaped forward, his sword swinging rapidly as the arm passed below. The arm fell to the ground it neatly sliced pieces as the giant collapsed to the ground in a mess.
Gemstone didn't waste any time. Making another athletic jump, he hilted his sword in the giants head, feeling it pierce something harder than clay. He hopped off rapidly as the giant began to vibrate fiercely, the ground shaking. With one more loud scream, the clay lost its form, sinking to the ground in a pile. A faint white mist replaced it, before it slowly floated up to the sky and away. Gemstone smiled as he heard a joyous laugh as it disappeared. He dug through the clay with his hooves, tossing the sword into the ground.
"Alright Pick," He spoke as he rummaged thought the mess, "You can come out now."
A small body burst out of a nearby bush, galloping out to meet him.
"Woah woah woah," Gem stopped and held back the light brown colt with his magic, "stay back buddy."
Gemstone felt a hard object within the clay mass. He wrapped his magic around the large spherical object, pulling it out carefully. As they clay fell away, it revealed a head-sized sphere, smooth as the sky and as black as a warlocks heart. Such an Enchanting Sphere could only hold dark secrets and evils.
Pick let out a comic whistle.
"So what's it do huh?" He asked as his blue eyes looked on inquisitively, showing his youthful enthusiasm, "Does it make things stronger? Or like, bigger and stuff?"
Gemstone set the orb on the ground, grabbing his sword.
"What? No. No this is an Enchanting Sphere." Gemstone responded as he faced Pick, "It's what necromancers and agromancers utilize to manifest specific enchantments on the corporeal forms they're attached too."
"Oh cool!" Pick squealed before a confused look came across his face, "Whats that mean?"
Gemstone laughed.
"They make golems and giants with these." Gemstone simplified as he prepared his sword, "Now we need to break it so that it can't be used again. After all, these things do take souls to run, and I can't just let people go around and collect souls."
Thrusting his sword into the orb, it slid in like butter, despite the orbs hard appearance. A high pitched whine sounded as the sphere cracked down it's sides. Splitting in two jagged halves. The whine ceased as they fell apart. Gemstone let out a sigh.
"Wooaaah," Pick droned, "that was awesome."
"Go pick up my saddlebag." Gemstone ordered as he set his sword down and wiped the clay from the halves of the enchanting sphere. Pick handed in to him and Gemstone uttered his thanks.
Being sure to keep the jagged halves separate, he slid them both into his cluttered saddlebag. He let out a sigh and look up through the trees as he closed the bag. The sun was about two thirds through the sky, and he supposed they should be getting home.
"Pick, do you remember how to get to the road from here?" He quizzed slyly.
"Uh...well..." Pick faltered.
Gemstone gave him a jab in the side playfully as he walked by.
"I'm just kidding. But you do need to remember these things if you want to be a hero." Gemstone informed him in a good tone.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry Gem."
"It's okay buddy."
~oOo~
The duo had long since left the forest and were now making their way up the large steep stone road that had been cut into Foal Mountain decades ago. The sun was setting calmly behind them, and Gemstone sensed no immediate danger from the darkness. It was rare to find dangerous creatures all the way up here.
"Hey Gemstone?" Pick started as they walked, "How can you do what you do?"
Gemstone looked over, puzzled.
"What do you mean?"
"Like, how can you get punched into a tree and still be okay afterwards?"
Gemstone paused and thought for a moment.
"It comes from the heart in my opinion." He said finally, "I mean, I don't know exactly how it all works, but I know that when you make a decision from your heart, deep down in your heart, to become a hero, something changes."
You start feeling more powerful almost, like your muscles just grew five times bigger, but your body looks the same."
Gemstone looked to the small colt importantly.
"But this isn't just some random decision. It's not something you can do overnight. It takes lots of emotion and thought and determination to make this change."
"How did you make it?" Pick asked innocently, "Was it really, really, REALLY hard?"
Gemstone looked forward, thinking back.
"Yes." He said solemnly, "It was very hard."
"Ohhh noooo." Pick droned, "Please tell me your not going to clam up and make it some mysterious sob-story that you'll reveal to me 'When I'm Older'."
"Uh, well..."
"And if you are going to tell me, can you not make it like...a super big deal? Like you know, how they always make it solemn and sad and emotionally draining in the old bards books?"
Gemstone laughed uneasily.
"You're sure you want to hear it?" He asked warningly, "It is kinda gruesome."
"Yes!" Pick's face lit up, "PLEASE tell me! But don't make it sappy! Just tell it how it was!"
"Okay. If you insist."
~oOo~
A long time ago, probably hundreds of years ago, the land was peaceful. The four provinces lived in safety, and the forests hills, valleys and plains teemed with wildlife. The land was a utopia, governed by the 10 divines. The divines were powerful, and could strike fear into the hearts of anypony they wished, yet they didn't. Instead, they chose to rule the land peacefully and equally, because unlike us ponies, they weren't susceptible to greed. Un-
What does any of this have to do with you being a hero?
I'm getting there, calm your udders.
Under the rule of the divines, the land was safe for years to come. But one day, a mighty sorceress of light grew tired of being an equal, and sought to take more power for herself. Using the timeless spells of...Rank...Rink...Rynknipheir(?), she summoned a great serpent from the depths of the Earth, letting him loose on the lands. However, in the process of summoning him, she trapped herself in an alternate dimension, where she would live on as if no serpent had ever been unleashed.
The Great Serpent used its untold powers to corrupt the 10 Divines, altering their minds and turning them into creatures as dark as night, and as evil as the black heart of the serpent itself. The land was plunged into chaos, and the Great Serpent took his place on an ancient throne in the center of Equestria, destroying the land and turning it into The Shards that we know today, where stone floats and large tracts of land shift and sway.
The 4 Rulers, the Marcs, of each province were powerless against the serpent as he unleashed his corrupting chaos over the land, spawning abominations and dark creatures that rose up to attack villages and cities, often overwhelming them and nearly bringing the ponies of Equestria to their knees. As they frantically tossed together a military, they managed to stave off the attacks on most towns,
I'm still missing the point here.
Shut your face. I'm telling an epic story.
But-
Face. Shut.
Mmmfff...
150 years later (give or take a few) we now enter the land we know today, albeit 20 years earlier than this date, before you were born, a lone filly known as Gemstone played alone on the farming compound his family owned. Aware of, but not worried about the dangers outside the walls, he lived in blissful ignorance. His family was rich, and the compound was full of farmhands and armed guards. It was a good life. Quiet, but eventful. Then, one day in late July, while coming home from a routine trading trip with the farmhands, a small Gemstone spotted smoke in the forest. The caravans guards readied their weapons, but when they finally approached the chaotic blaze that was the farm, they realized there was no battle. Only a simple fire gone wild.
Amidst smoke and flames, the remaining farmhands and guards pumped water to try and stop the blaze, but it was hours before it finally died down. 16 of the 30 farm-staff were killed in the blaze, along with my parents. To add insult to injury, the family dog, sparky, never got out either.
That's...kinda humorous?
Yeah it's actually kinda ironic, heh, don't feel bad.
Anyways. While the unemployed guards and farmhands split up, fathers right hand colt, Cornmeal, told me that my father had told him to take me to the town of Rocky Ridge, where the families old vacation house still stood.
So wait...Cornmeal...thats Old Colt Cornmeal now right?
Yup. He took care of me most of my life up until now. But it was on that very day that I vowed I would fight to protect the lives of others. Maybe from fires, from monsters, whatever it was, I would keep people safe.
Not gunna' lie Gem, that's a pretty good story, even if it did get a little dramatic and sappy. And...it didn't really make a lot of sense at the beginning.
What was I supposed to say? My parents died in a fire. I'm a hero. The end? Haha
Nah. Your good. It was a nice story. Thanks for telling me.
Anytime pal.
~oOo~
As the duo approached the small stone and wood buildings that marked the edge of Rocky ridge, Gemstone scolded himself for waiting so late to come home, as the sun had set and the moon was a 3rd through the sky already and Picks mother would surely be worried sick. Gemstone had agreed to take Pick on as his understudy for a time being, but his mother didn't approve. His father? He was all for it. Mother? Not so much.
As Gem tapped a hoof against the two massive stone slabs that served as a gate, it opened inwards and the two ponies were given access, giving a nod to the guards who had opened it for them. They nodded back before one spoke up.
"Aye, Pick. Your mother was worried about you." He scolded lightly, "You should go find her before she has a heart-attack."
Gemstone gave the small Colt a hit with his shoulder.
"Get going bud." He ordered him, "We can adventure more another day. If your mother lets me take you again."
Pick laughed as he ran up ahead through the main streets towards his home.
"Okay. Thanks Gemstone!"
As Pick disappeared into his home, Gemstone trotted back to his own. Opening the creaky door to his thin two-story house, he cringed, trying to not wake up Cornmeal. He heard a throaty snore from inside, and as he passed through the door quickly, closing it behind him, he saw Cornmeal splayed out on the fur couch next to a dying fire, his blanket fallen of in the night.
Gemstone grabbed some firewood with his magic and placed it in the fire to warm the house up, proceeding to tuck the fallen blanket snugly around Cornmeal's grey body and brittle bones. He smiled, and crept upstairs to his room, setting his saddlebag down, the two pieces of black stone clunked dully against the floor. With a small levitation he slid himself into bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't feel tired, his mind still raced, but his muscles ached, and he closed his eyes, falling into a peaceful slumber filled with images of dragon slaying, and adventuring.
~oOo~
"LOOK OUT THERE'S A BUCKING DRAGON ATTACKING!"
Gemstone flew out of bed in a panic, eyes still closed. Hitting the floor with his face, he fumbled for his sword blindly. As he calmed down he heard a cackling laugh erupt from the doorway. As his muscles pried his eyes open, he saw Old Cornmeal standing at the doorway, a toothless grin spread across his face as he wheezed in glee. Gemstone let out a sigh and his head fell to the ground limply.
"You sslept through breafasst!" Cornmeal informed him in good humor, his toothless mouth causing him to slur his s's ever-so-slightly, "You were out too late lasst night!"
"Cornmeal. You know you don't have any teeth in right now right?" Gemstone smiled to the ground as he informed the old grey pony of his mishap.
Cornmeal went silent as his tongue felt around in his mouth.
"Well shit." He swore as he walked down the stairs, his bones creaking almost as much as the steps themselves. It was Gemstones turn to laugh now. He got up and donned his saddlebag, making sure both pieces of black stone were inside.
He trotted downstairs, still partially asleep, but happy none-the-less.
"Alright Corn, I'm going to run some errands. I'll be back soon." Gemstone called out as he nearly sprinted out of the house.
"Wait you wheat-spitting rule-breaker!" Cornmeal called out slyly, knowing that Gem was trying to escape before he could dump work on him, "I need you to pick me up honey from the market. Can you do that?"
Gemstone sighed, but took it in good faith.
"Yes Corn. I'll bring some back."
"Hey kid."
"What?"
"It's Cornmeal to you." Cornmeal smiled as Gemstone trotted from the house.
A warm breeze hit him as he walked outside, the sun glared at him angrily. The sun was high in the sky, and it seemed to be almost mid-day. He was running out of time. He knew that the honey could wait, but there was only a limited time frame that he could get these Enchanting Sphere Halves used for something. Only in the daylight could you truly appreciate the beauty of Rocky Ridge. The intricate masonry of it's buildings, and the hollows cut into the mountainside for space. The people who streamed in and out of its various markets and shops. However Gemstone had seen it all before, and was much more focused on getting to his goal on time. He estimated Crazy Crazz would be closing in about 5 minutes. He could get there in time.
As he galloped, teleporting several meters where it was convenient, he finally approached a detailed and unique looking caravan sitting at the gates as it prepared to pack up. Trinkets of all shapes and sizes hung from its open window, and to an outsider it would be apparent that this caravan specialized in junk, the tools of junk, and all other junk liek objects it could get its hooves on.
"Crazz!" Gem called out as he teleported right outside the window of the caravan, startling the guards with such intensity that they drew their weapons.
"Boys boys boys!" A rambunctious voice came from inside the caravan, "Put those away! All y'all!"
The guards sighed in frustration, and Gem wondered just how much they were being payed to put up with the antics of Crazz.
"Gemstone!" Crazz, a bright orange stallion with a green mane, flamboyantly called out and he exited the gypsie-style cart, "Well it's so good to see you again!"
"Well it's good to se-" Gemstone began greeting him before he was cut off by the accented Sorvth-Dweller.
"But shucks, looks like I'm just packin' up. You know how I am with my schedules. All tight and sorts."
Gemstone laughed nervously, knowing where this was going.
"Listen Crazz..." He started before he was interrupted again.
"But I do reckon you tried so hard to get your little hooves here to see me that I must just be flattered right?" Crazz tipped his large-rimmed hat down over his face, "So I reckon I could make an exception for you."
Crazz crept up close to him in a comical fashion.
"On ONE...tiny...eetsy beetsy little condition..." he whispered as Gemstone stood still, an unimpressed look on his face, "Say...dinner here tonight? Sunset?"
"I'm really not-"
"Cider."
"Comf-"
"Biscuts."
"Crazz I-"
"Alright alright fine!" The Sorvth-Dwelling pony let out exasperatedly, although not frustratingly, "Jus' show me what you got."
Gemstone pulled the two black pieces from his saddlebags and handed them to the awed merchant.
"Well I never...how...in..." He looked up paste his hat, his eyes wide, "obsidian? Enchanting obsidian?"
Gemstone nodded wit ha smile.
"I saved it just for you!"
Crazz leaped forward, dropping the stones to the ground and wrapping his front hooves around Gemstones neck.
"Just one kiss. On the cheek. Please." Crazz begged, "A thank-you kiss?"
Gemstone gave up.
"Sure."
~oOo~
Gemstone wiped the humorously flamboyant merchants lipstick off his cheek as he trotted lazily towards the market, on his new found quest for honey. As he passed by the carpenters dens carved into the rock, a mares voice called to him from behind a fence.
"Aye Gem!" A familiar mare called out to him, "How'r ya doin' this fine day?"
He altered his course to the right, bringing him closer to the pegasus mare in question.
"Oh, hey there Fine Graine." He slowed and stopped in front of the fence. She batted at his shoulder with a hoof playfully.
"C'mon Gem, just call me Fine." she winked at him, "We've known each other for long enough."
"We've known each other for 3 years...and in that three year period you've talked to me like...5 times." He retorted, smiling, but an unimpressed tone in his voice, "And I think one of those conversations was you yelling at me for stepping on your hoof."
Fine seemed taken aback for a moment before she recovered, once again smiling.
"Oh c'mon, let bygones be bygones." She chuckled.
"I really don't think we HAVE enough bygones to let them be bygones." He responded, causing her mouth to press into a fine line. "I'm gunna' get going now..."
He trotted off, leaving her to her own devices. Thinking back, she's probably thinking of a way to murder him in his sleep now. Or at least molest him or something. The cold hard truth was that most of the mares in the village only wanted to be friends with him because he was a hero. They didn't really notice him until he killed his first couple timber wolves. He shrugged it off and moved on. He preferred to be alone anyways. Less distractions, and if you thought about it. You could be sure no one was using you for fame if there was no one close enough to use you.
He walked under a simple stone arch, entering a bustling stone dome that echoed with the sounds of transactions and advertisements. The Grand Market. As the center for most of the commerce in all of Eeust, even traders from the provincial capitol in Hollow Shades came to buy and sell wares simply because of Rocky Ridge's location. The ore and precious metal deposits within the mountain were invaluable to some products sold province-wide, while the lack of farmland left shipments of food to be traded in exchange. On top of that, the skilled carpenters and masons of Rocky Ridge were constantly creating fine pieces of work to sell and trade.
As Gemstone pressed through the crowds towards the back of the massive stone dome, he spotted the honey stand. Slapping down some bits on the table he took a glass jar of the sweet bee-excess and began to struggle for a way out again. By the time he reached the exit, he had nearly dropped the honey several times as well as almost had it snatched from him. Reaching his house he bashed open the door dramatically and levitated the honey onto the simple wooden counter top. Closing the door behind him he collapsed on the couch, trying to catch his breath from the running and claustrophobia.
"Oh get up ya' pansy." Cornmeal called as he opened the jar and added it to a mix her was working on.
"What? I don't even get a thank you? How rude." Gemstone joked.
"Hey, I've been haulin' yer' lazy ass around for half my life now, protecting you and cleanin' up after you." He mixed the pot slowly and spoke through gritted teeth, "This is just payment for all the shit I've done for you in my lifetime."
Gemstone and Cornmeal both chuckled, the older pony stirring the pot slowly while the younger one fell into a quick nap.
It was that time when everything felt normal.
The calm before the storm.
TO BE CONTINUED SOON...
~~ooOoo~~
You know the drill everypony. Finished at 3:00 and I've spell checked it as best as I can, so if you would do me the favor of PM'ing me any errors you find I would be eternally grateful.
