The Taste of Shenanigans

CHAPTER 3: Basements make good dungeons

The ponies sat, slurping milkshakes, as Twilight Sparkle taped Dr Madbrain to the basement wall. She took one step back, examined him, and then nodded.
“There. You cannot escape. Now, Madbrain… spill all.”
“NEVER!” he shrieked, and began laughing hysterically.
Rainbow Dash smirked. “You got a plan B?”
“Yes.” replied Twilight. “As a matter of fact I have.” She walked up to Dr Madbrain and slapped him. He just continued to laugh.
“You ARE aware that was a hoofslap, right?” asked Twilight, to which there was no reply beyond more laughs. “…they’re supposed to hurt… ‘cause hooves.”
Rainbow Dash butted in. “Screw this! Hey, Dr Evilface, listen. Fess up, and you get a milkshake.”
Dr Madbrain stopped laughing.
“Yeah, OK zen. Vat do you vant to know?”
Twilight squinted intensely. “EVERYTHING.”
“Be more specific.”
“OK. Tell us why you kidnapped Rarity.”
Dr Madbrain smiled. “For my project, of course!”
“Go on.”
“Vell you see… ze town of Scienceville is holding a science competition zis Friday. Zey hold von every year, and each von I have entered. In fact, I vas ze sole VINNER of each von. Until… until ze day ze science died.”
“You lost?” asked Fluttershy.
“Zat is correct. I vas set to vin ze competition vith my model volcano, ven up valks a stupid-looking pegasus named ‘Loopsworth’, who claims he has ze answer for perpetual motion. Of course, nopony believed him. He vasn’t even vearing goggles. However, he did indeed have ze answer for perpetual motion.”
“Was it the toast-on-cat method?” asked Twilight. “Because I tried that on Rarity’s cat and it didn’t work. It just ate the toast in mid-air and then scratched me.”
“No. It vas not zat. I do not even understand how it vorked. It vas some sort of machine zat kept dispensing liquid, vithout running out. it vas rather impressive. Anyway, his entry beat mine, and he claimed ze sixteenth annual Scienceville Science Competition Science Trophy.”
His gaze became fixed on Twilight’s milkshake dispensing machine.
“Can I have a milkshake now?” he asked.
“No. You still haven’t told us why you took Rarity.”
“OK, OK.”
Dr Madbrain cleared his throat.
“After ze competition, I became very sad, and took up drinking. Zen I got bored of zat, and decided to vork on my next project for ze science competition.”
His mouth widened into a sinister smile.
“A robot. But not just ANY robot. A robot capable of FREE VILL.”
The ponies glasped.
“Nooo….” said Twilight. “That’s not possible. It isn’t possible… is it?”
“It is.” he replied. “But I required some pony DNA. Very specific DNA, zat is very rare and only exists in certain bloodlines. Ze DNA zat vas present in your friend.”
“I don’t understand.” said Applejack. “Why would you need DNA for a machine?”
He chuckled. “You vould not understand.”
“No, go on. Why?”
His expression turned serious. “It’s too complicated to explain. Just go vith it.”
“…OK.” she replied.
“Anyvay, as I vas saying, your friend had ze DNA I needed. Her entire family did, in fact.”
“Waaaaaaait one second!” interrupted Twilight. “Her entire family?”
At that moment, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom walked down the stairs.
“YO TWILIGHT!” shouted Scootaloo. “YOU SEEN SWEETIE BELLE ANYWHERE, DAWG?!”
“No, sorry.” she replied, before doing a suspicious face at Dr Madbrain.
“OK THANKS ANYWAY, BRO! BYE!”
The two fillies left.
Twilight waited until they were out of earshot, and then approached Dr Madbrain.
“Got anything you want to tell us?” she asked, prodding his face with her horn.
“Yes.” he replied smugly. “I took Sweetie Belle, made a robot from her DNA, and zen incinerated her. Can I have a milkshake now?”
Twilight sighed. “Fine. I can’t be bothered asking questions now anyway.”
She walked up to her milkshake dispensing machine, and made a vanilla milkshake. She then moved a table up to Dr Madbrain, and placed the milkshake on it, straw next to his face.
“There. If you want more, we’ll be upstairs. The machine won’t run out, so you can have as much as you like.”
Dr Madbrain, already halfway through the drink, spluttered and spat the straw out.
“VAT?! IT DOESN’T RUN OUT?! VHERE DID YOU GET ZIS FROM?!”
Twilight tilted her head towards Pinkie Pie. “Her.”
“VELL VHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM?!”
“Oh, just some guy I know. I think his name was Loopsworth.”
Dr Madbrain’s face went as red as a tomato milkshake, and he screamed.
“LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPSWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTH!”
“We’re going upstairs now.” said Twilight. “Bye.”
And off they went.
Spike was sorting books, running back and forth frantically.
“Spike, have a rest.” said Twilight. “You’ve been doing that for ages. Don’t strain yourself.”
“Thanks, Twilight.” he said.
Twilight Sparkle looked at her friends. “What were we going to do now? I forgot, lol.”
“Rainbow Dash was going to tell us a story!” shouted Pinkie Pie.
“Oh yes. The socks story.”
They all looked at Rainbow Dash with deep interest and expectation. She cleared her throat, and was just about to speak, when Twilight opened her mouth.
“Spike! Bring us drinks!”
Spike headed down the basement steps.
“OK…” said Rainbow Dash, grinning. “I was outside the lab, when-“
A shriek came from the basement.
“Ignore that.” said Twilight. “Carry on.”
“Right. I was outside the lab and-“
Spike ran up the steps, flailing his arms.
“THAT EVIL DOCTOR DUDE’S MISSING!”
“You sure?” asked Twilight.
Dr Madbrain then called from the basement. “I’m still here!”
Spike shrugged, and returned downstairs.
“Sorry about that, Dash.” said Twilight. “Spike’s a bit dim. Go on.”
“Well… I was outside the lab, right, and I-“
Spike appeared, carrying multiple milkshakes. “I got the drinks. And yeah, he’s still there. I just didn’t see him.”
“Thank you, Spike.” said Twilight, taking the milkshakes. “Now go away.”
Spike walked out of the door, whistling obnoxiously.
Rainbow Dash hesitated, before starting again.
“Right then… I was waiting outside the lab, when I realised it was boring, so I went back home. I played games and stuff for a bit, but that was interrupted when my house exploded. I was knocked about a little, but I was barely hurt.”
“Whoa… you sure you’re alright, Rainbow?” asked Applejack.
“Yeah.”
“As long as you’re sure. By the way, aren’t you upset about losing your house?”
“Not really. I was hardly ever in it anyway.”
“Well… what happened after that?”
“At first I was like ‘Oh no my house’ but then Princess Celestia flew down and she was like ‘Sorry, I wasn’t aiming for your house’ and I was like ‘No probs’ and then she flew off. I had nothing to do at that point, you know, ‘cause my house was gone, so I followed her.”
“NO!” shouted Twilight. “One does not simply follow the princess! You have to have a good reason to see her, and make appointments and things!”
“Nah, she didn’t care.”
“So… she knew you were following her?”
“No. But I’m getting there. See, I thought she was going back to her castle, but she was heading towards the mountains. I was interested as to why, so I kept following her. After a while, she stopped at this one cave and went inside.”
“Please tell me you turned back…” said Twilight.
“Pfft. I went in after her.”
Twilight buried her face in her hooves.
“But yeah, she noticed me then, and she was like ‘Why are you here?’ and I was like ‘Bored’ and she was like ‘Oh OK’. She then invited me inside for a drink. I didn’t have anything else to do, so I accepted.”
“This is certainly an odd story.” said Applejack. “What happened next?”
“I don’t remember. I just woke up in a field. Then I came back here.”
They all stared at Rainbow Dash.
“Is that it? You just… woke up? In a field?” asked Twilight.
“Yep.”
“What about the socks?”
“Oh yeah, I dunno, I was just wearing them when I woke up.”
Twilight began to pace around the room. “Something’s not right. You wouldn’t just wake up in a field with no memory.”
“Don’t fret it.” said Rainbow Dash. “I’m not worried.”
“How can you be so cool about this?”
“Are you questioning my coolness?!”
Twilight sighed. “No, Rainbow. I just think there’s something fishy going on… not that the princess would do anything wrong. Still, I think maybe we should go and ask her about it… just in case.”
Fluttershy tapped Twilight on the shoulder. “Um… what about the guy downstairs? And Rarity?”
“We know all we need to know about that.” Twilight replied. “Besides, Rarity’s dead. You can forget about her now.”
“Sooo… we gonna hand him in? Or what?” asked Applejack.
“Pfft. Just leave him here. I’ll leave a note for Spike, telling him to guard him or something. Anyway, off to Canterlot!”
“Yeah, whatever.” said Rainbow Dash.

END OF CHAPTER 3