Soluna, the ultimate alicorn of infinite wisdom

by The Psychopath

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Sad, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1948

Soluna is an alico-Not even in your description.*crack*

Soluna is an alicorn who has stayed dormant as her daughters created Equestria. She knows everything and has made everything as it is. Her beauty surpasses anything that shall ever be created. She can even defeat the Nothing! She'll be going to Ponyville in hopes that-*bzzzt*

What the hell is this? What's with all those contradicting tags? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!

I think we found another.

Time. For termination.

Published 2012-11-06 05:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-06 05:00:01 UTC

The horror arrives

Ponyville was innocently existing underneath the weakly cloudy sky. The majority of rain was not to come until later that week, but it was quite warm anyways. The pegasi were transporting goods or moving clouds while everypony underneath just continued their typical routines. However, Everfree forest wasn't as quiet. Within a tree stump, stood a long branch similar to a horn. A ray of light finally shone upon it, and the forest began to rumble. Somebody had just created a horrid eldritch abomination and sent it into Equestria. This would not bode well for its existence. The being that stepped through the crumbling stump had a coat of a pristine, shining white, while her mane and tail were of a faint golden tint, but with just as much brightness. She possessed a very long unicorn horn, and her wings, as they opened, seemed to illuminate the are with diverse colors and flashes, unfortunately sending some nearby animals into seizures. Of course, this alicorn was too enamored by her own self and her own power to notice. As her eyes opened, they revealed themselves to be of the same hypnotizing beauty as her mane and tail, along with the same color.

"Hmhm." she chuckled."It seems they have been working quite well."

"This is going to be great! Everybody is going to love her!"

"I wonder what they have been doing? Perhaps Discord is a king now?"

The alicorn stepped out of her brightened circle, and the trees removed themselves from her path, following with a bow. Was it mentioned that she was also known as Gaia? Yes. She was also known as Gaia, the mother of nature. Every step she made created a small patch of beautiful flowers and grass, paling in comparison to her splendor, although they still had a great color to them. The mare continued through her path, destroying everything posing itself as a threat, unaware that something had just detected her and was following her every move.

Back in Ponyville, everypony truly was just meagerly doing their chores or lazing around, like Rainbow Dash, who got called on by Pinkie Pie.

"R-R-Rainbow Dash?"Pinkie said in vibration.

"What? What's wrong with you?"

Pinkie was vibrating like crazy."My Pinkie senses are telling me that something really bad is coming."

"...I can actually feel it too, but my head feels fuzzy."

"I've got to warn everypony!"

"Warn everypony about what?" spoke a serene and soothing voice.

The alicorn had arrived, and everypony gathered around to witness her sudden arrival and gentle beauty up close. In-fact, she was so beautiful that several stallions who started to feel for her saw their heads explode...well..."saw" may not be the most appropriate thing to say here. Rarity and Rainbow Dash were the first to fall under this mare's spell.

"Woah! You look really cool." Rainbow exclaimed at first.

"Yes, but she also has...quite the stern approach to her appearance."

"That is because I am the mother of Celestia and Luna, of course. Their father is Discord. I was trapped within a stump because my beauty was too much for this world." the alicorn began to sob."I just wished for eternal peace."

Muffled voices came from behind some buildings, but nopony noticed.

"Oh god. MY EYES! CUTTING THE ACCES TO SIGHT DOES NOTHING!"

"Will you shut up?! Let's see if it can be redeemed."

"That's awful." Rainbow started to tear up as well, as did the rest. Even Pinkie became affected.

"I know, let's throw a party just for you!"

"That's a great idea! Let's do that for...what's your name again?" a random stallion spouted.

"Soluna."

"Let's throw a party for Soluna."

"This might be the worst case we've seen yet. This one really pushes forth."

"Alicorn, has a weird name, becomes immediate friends with everyone, has immeasurable power and a backstory with no fucking sense at all. All she needs now is to become black and red, and get into a love story with one of the characters."

"Ah? Here comes the lavender unicorn and the vanilla pegasus."

"Are you kidding me?"

In Sugar Cube Corner, everypony was dancing quite wildly with some good beats in the background. Candy was everywhere, as were cakes, balloons, and all the typical things. Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy had arrived. Fluttershy had found an immediate likeliness to Gaia, for several obvious reasons. She even went to pose her head on the alicorn's shoulder, as did Twilight, seeing as this alicorn just taught her things that nopony knows about.

Behind the window, one figure was looking frustrated, its face just staring in annoyance and straightness at the scene. The other one just looked with a neutral perspective.

"Now that's beating the presidential campaign with a Swedish stick."

"What? Where did that come from? What is that for a swear."

The other figure just shrugged. "I dunno."

"...What's a president?"

"Uhhhhhh...data not found."

The alicorn was suddenly seen kissing the two mares close to her.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll go get the others and we'll take care of it when it gets out.

"Avengers, assemble!"

"...You are just asking me to rip out your interiors with a spork, aren't you?"

It had already been several hours, but finally, the alicorn-gaia-queen-goddess-of-infinite-wisdom-and-lines left the bakery, only to be greeted by an explosion at her hooves, startling her and tossing her away.

"What? That's not how my story goes!"

In front of the mare stood an army of metallic bipedal creatures holding massive weapons unknown to Equestria. Their bodies gleemed in the sunlight and blinded all but Soluna. They didn't seem to have any flesh at all on them, nor did they seem organic. Their eyes glew a furious red as they looked upon the abomination before them. Two of them stepped forward, enticing the alicorn to ask them a question:

"Who are you? More creations of Discord. Hmph. My powers can easily deal with chaos." she smugle turned her head away as a tiny blast of magic slammed into them both, creating a massive explosion.

To Soluna's surprise, they had nothing. they just seemed even angrier.

"We hunt for Mary-Sues. We are terminators. You are deemed unretrievable. You will be terminated." one said with a mechanical voice.

"Yeah. We'll fuck your shit up."

"And you really need to remove that swear chip."

"But it's fun to swear."

"Ugh."

"What is a Mary-Sue?" Soluna asked the two terminators.

"It is what you are. A character whose abilities surpass the normally established ones in the story. Your inability to see your mistakes is tiresome."

"But I have always existed like this!"

"No you haven't. You were never born, nor were you created by the creator."

"Because I am superior to the nothing."

"NOTHING IS SUPERIOR TO THE NOTHING! The Nothing came before existence. To come before it is impossible. You. WILL. Be. Terminated." (this should be good)

The machines began to fire at the alicorn, their lasers and missiles nearly hitting her, but only by a micrometer. She jumped in the air and used her powers to create an explosive line which completely disintegrated a whole line of the creations. The creatures were relentless, especially as a whole pack erupted from the behind the rest and slammed into Soluna, shocking and burning her with electricity and plasma. She fell upon the ground and grunted in pain while everypony around was trapped by the other machines completely blocking them.

While Soluna was about to be shot by every single weapon pointed at her, she jumped up and shouted:

"I'm more powerful than you think."

"Why? This isn't your 'final form'?" the terminator openly mocked while the others followed."What, you have a demonic form?" the terminator stopped immadiately and looked, in a bored manner and with its mouth gaping open, what Soluna had done.

The alicorn suddenly grew demon horns. Her mane and tail became bloody red, and her coat was a charcoal black. Even her demonic eyes became a painful red. There was a long moment of silence until it was followed by several terminators spontaneously combusting, and others collapsing onto themselves

"But I didn't even attack yet." Soluna whined.

"Did they just implode?!" one of the two front terminators complained.

"Yes. Yes they did. That's how terrible she is. Hunting Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus through the fanfiction universe is a very dangerous job."

"Stop mocking me!" Soluna caused the sky to become blck and drenched in tornadoes created from red dust.

While everypony was frightened horribly, the terminators decided that she wasn't worth their time, and began doing various activities.

"You got any threes?"

"Errrmmm...nope. Go fish."

"DAMMIT!" a terminator yelled before throwing a bomb and destroying a house.

"And you persist? I am the creator of everything that exi-"

"No you aren't. TERMINATION IMMINENT!"

A massive terminator with a more blocky appearance appeared from nowhere and slapped Soluna to the ground. She immediately recovered and fired her most powerful spell: a red ball of desintegration. It hit the giant head-on, causing it to tumble, but it immediately recovered.

"Wh-what?" Soluna was dead-tired.

"You can't defeat the Sueminator."

The machine with a terrible pun-name immediately opened several hatches on its body, showing many machine guns, laser guns, missile launchers, and rail-cannons.

"Uh-oh."

It is said that the ensuing explosion was seen all the way to the griffin mountains, and that's pretty far. All that was left of the "demon-alicorn-whatever" was her typical bright appearance. All the machines surrounded her, emotion completely devoid from their faces. One of them lift its laser cannon in front of her face, allowing her to see the barrel begin to turn a bright red. Soluna averted her eyes, as did everypony, but, instead of hearing a bang, nothing. The ponies all looked to see a weird sight. The terminators were all stomping the alicorn, along with grunts and weird sounds. One even went so far as to rip its arm off and beat the alicorn with it.

"CURB STOMP!" *crunch*

"BODY SLAM!" *smack*

Even the "Sueminator" started to stomp on the alicorn, and went along to start punching her as well.

"Hmmm. It's not enough. ION CANNON!" one of the terminators shouted.

They all left the premises, and a bright blue laser came from the sky and illuminated the area, turning that spot into dust, and blowing away many houses. They all went to see ground zero, and, as hoped, there was nothing left, and this world was slowly returning to normal. Many portals opened up, and each terminator went through, before not one of them was left.

The interior of the portal looked like a sea rapidly flowing around the machines with a cylinder shape.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Don't you think we might be Gary-Stus too?"

"What do you mean?"

"We ARE terminators with feelings."

Another machine just exploded as well.

"What?"

"STOP DOING THAT! We are Mary-Sue hunters. It's in our job to deal with these shit-stains."

"It is?"

The sound of a collective facepalm was the only sound heard in the portal for a quite a few seconds.

"Yes. You hear that authors?! Make a mary-sue or gary-stu, and we're coming to get you. Speaking of."

In a dark room sat a twelve-year old who was bashing her keyboard. What happened? That's not how anything was supposed to happen. She decided to whine as she checked out pictures of Trixie with Twilight Sparkle. Suddenly, the sound of thunder erupted from behind her, and two terminators came out. They were glaring at the girl.

"W-what do you want?"

"To terminate."

"AHHHH!"

This was painful to write, even if it was brief. I can only write Mary-Sues for so long.