Every second, it beat faster and faster.
Pu-Pum. Pu-Pum.
Her heartbeat. It pounded. It thrashed. It writhed, screaming for her to slow down, threatening her with the liability of bursting. Her ears bled. Her eyes stung. She couldn't keep this up for much longer. Tears streamed from her eyes, the saltwater pouring down her cheeks, mixing with the freshwater rain. She didn't know where she was going. She just had to get away from here.
The mare couldn't take it anymore, and forced to stop, she panted. She wheezed. She sobbed. The breath seemed as if it could not enter her lungs in large enough quantities, refusing to sustain her. Refusing to do anything for her after what she had done. The strangled cry of Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash's blood. Applejack's screams of anger. Rarity's shrieks of panic. And Pinkie's sobs of pain.
All her fault. If only she had stayed. If only she had cared enough. If only she had been like... um... like Rainbow Dash. That blue pegasus had always been brave, loyal, trustworthy. She had never let her friends down. So what kind of Element of Harmony was our so called 'heroine?' That's right. The 'Element of Kindness'? Please. A kind soul would have stayed. A kind soul would have helped.
A kind soul would have protected her friends.
Fluttershy tried to continue forward. She tried. She struggled. But she couldn't. Laying herself down on a patch of dry land, generally rare in this swampy area, the pegasus set her head down and tried to recall exactly what had happened. Of course, it wouldn't be easy. Fluttershy knew that, as she'd been so panicked, she could hardly remember a thing.
There was no reason not to try, though.
***
It was a sunny day. Well, of course it was. It was the middle of July, after all, and the local weather forecast had promised clear skies all that week. Fluttershy had been taking the sandwiches to Rarity's birthday party. Said white unicorn had chosen a spot in the meadows near Ponyville. While it exhibited great beauty, she had said, the plentiful multitude of flowers also kept away prying eyes. The clearing was surrounded by bluebells and black-eyed Susans, and the crystal blue above the six equines' heads was just lovely. Fluttershy, who had always been captivated by nature, was very much looking forward to seeing the location for said party for herself. It also was a relief for her from the indoor parties she was used to. She saw absolutely no reason in keeping her hooves clean when she could be gardening or tending to animals, which she did on a regular basis. As previously said, she was heading to deliver the sandwiches to the party, when something happened.
It was the kind of something that doesn't frighten you, but does leave you with and odd, 'out of place' feeling. A feeling as if someone is watching you. A feeling, in fact, that eyes are staring at you. Said feeling spooked Fluttershy, and she tried to hurry herself along, trotting at a slightly fast pace. The 'something' itself was a slightly large purple and blue flower. The shape itself was of a rose, but while at first glance you may not notice it, the thorns appeared to be covered in blood.
Now, while they may be the color of this particular liquid, they weren't actually covered in blood. And while Fluttershy was spooked by the flower, she found it mildly alluring. The kind of alluring that is not one of sexual desire, but of material desire, of the longing to pluck the young bloom out of the ground and place it in the finest vase you own, staring at it for a good ten minutes every morning while you sip your coffee.
All of a sudden, Fluttershy felt that the beautiful, hoof-crafted pocket mirror she had planned to gift Rarity with was inadequate. This was truly a marvel, a miracle, something that she needed to share. Something that would be perfect, filled with color and beauty. Rarity would love this item, hoof plucked from the middle of the meadow, spotted and given to her by one of her best friends. Fluttershy couldn't help herself.
The young pony picked up the delicate flower it her mouth. It didn’t taste very good, but then again, it was too pretty to be eaten. The rest of the way, the pegasus carried the flower in her mouth. As she reached the clearing, only Applejack was there.
“Hey, Fluttershy. What’re y’all doing with that there flower?”
Fluttershy gently set the flower on the ground before speaking.
“It’s my gift to Rarity. Don’t you think it’s pretty?” The pegasus inquired.
“It sure is. Would y’all like help planting it? The roots are still attached,” she pointed out.
After a quick nod, Fluttershy set her bags down. “Thanks. Could you please dig up a bit of the soil? I mean, um, if you want to...” she shyly questioned.
“Sure!” After a brief second, Fluttershy put the object of concern in a small hole in the topsoil that Applejack had made. “Ah can just put the soil back over the roots, if ya want me to,” The orange pony added, a slight smile on her freckled cheeks.
“No. It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to trouble you,” Fluttershy said, gently scraping earth back over the roots.
She could see that Applejack had already set down the picnic blanket, not bothering to be neat about it. Rarity would have a fit if she saw it.
“Um, Applejack,” the yellow pony said. “can I smooth out the corners a bit? I’m not sure Rarity would exactly, um...” Fluttershy’s head went blank. She knew that Applejack wasn’t very sensitive, but the pegasus didn’t want to say anything she shouldn’t. “Well, it’s not as neat as she would probably like. But, um, your’s is fine too!” she said, scrambling a bit after the first sentence had come out.
“Nah, it’s okay sugar cube. Ah can fix it later,” Applejack assured her.
“Okay...”
About ten minutes later, everyone had arrived, and Fluttershy was waiting to reveal the rose to Rarity. Standing in front of it, she had managed to keep it a secret from everyone, except for Applejack, whom she knew she could trust. The six friends were eating sandwiches together, laughing, telling jokes, and just talking about anything and everything. Spike had stayed back at the library to clean, and even though it was Rarity’s birthday, he had still listened to Twilight. Fluttershy was a little bit disappointed, as she had hoped to see the little dragon. He still fascinated her, and even though she showed it less and less, it was still there.
Eventually, it was time to give the gifts to Rarity.
Rainbow Dash had given her a nice card and some bits, to, as Rainbow put it, 'buy fabric’. Fluttershy secretly suspected she had actually had no idea what to get her.
Applejack had given her a mirror carved out of the apple tree wood. Fluttershy was kind of glad she had decided not to have given Rarity a mirror herself.
Twilight had gotten Rarity a book on sewing, and also had brought Spike’s gift; a crystal blue gem, one which sparkled in the sunlight when you turned it to a specific angle. Fluttershy was not really a bookworm, but the gem was absolutely gorgeous.
And Pinkie’s gift was a bag of ‘gem-y’ and ‘sparkley-y’ fabrics that were covered in little beads and glitter. It was a bit blinding to the yellow pegasus, but then again, that was typical of Pinkie.
When it was time for Fluttershy to give her gift, the pony stepped out of the way, revealing the flower.
That was when the horror movie began.
Fluttershy gasped. The beautiful rose was gone. In its place was a giant blood-red patch of ivy, tangled together and thick with thorns.
Suddenly, tendrils reached out from the plants. One of them, stained with some sort of liquid, flew out and grabbed Rarity’s neck. A cry of pain and panic turned to a frantic gurgle as the thorns seeped into the polished white neck, turning it red with blood.
Fluttershy screamed.
Rainbow Dash charged in, pounding on the tendril holding the unicorn. Another tendril grabbed at her legs, thorns sinking into the sensitive, blood-filled area of her hooves. Tons of blood gushed out, covering the scene with the liquid. A curled, snake-like tendril wrapped around Rainbow’s chest, squeezing until it punctured her heart.
That was when the yellow pegasus flew for her life. She could hear her friends, screaming, sobbing, behind her, but she just kept flying...
***
In the real world, not the world of memories, Fluttershy started sobbing. Gallons of water poured down her cheeks, glueing grass to her face as she lied there, crying her exhausted heart out.
They were gone.
Vanished.
Like snowflakes on your hoof.
If only her animals were here now. If only they would comfort her. Then again, she didn’t deserve it. After all, it was she who had put all her friends in danger, and then left them to fend for themselves against that... that... thing. She didn’t want to live in this world anymore, such a world filled with pain and death. She wished she could just evaporate. Disappear. Something. Just not be here.
“No, Fluttershy,” The pegasus muttered, trying to balance her heavy sobs. “You can do this. You can manage. You still have all your animal friends, right? Your cottage? Your health? You... you...” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to muster the words ‘have a lot to be thankful for’.
All that came out was a squeak.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept that heavily.
In some ways, the deep, dreamless slumber had been a blessing. In others, it had been a curse. Despite the fact that she hadn’t lost her sanity via nightmares, she was still despairing, and sweet dreams would, at the very least, have been nice. Of course, maybe they wouldn’t have been nice. Maybe they would wake her up with a cold, jarring shock as she would have realized that the dreams were only a fantasy.
In some ways, Fluttershy was relieved that she didn’t have to keep resting anymore. Her body was in good shape again, and she could continue flying. So, as if spurred on by some invisible force, she continued. She thought about things as she flew, which she did more slowly this time; and, as she contemplated events that had taken place previously, she realized that the ivy may have started spreading all over Equestria. The pegasus knew, somewhere deep down, that this was true, but instead of feeling urgency, she felt somehow calm. Calm, still, and serene. Fluttershy reckoned that she was losing her sanity, and at the thought, a shock of fear punctured her heart. She didn’t know how this was possible; just the day before, she had been happy, sane, the average villager of that little town she inhabited. She had felt peaceful among the flowers, the animals, and just being home.
Wait. Her animals.
She needed to get back to them!
Flying as fast as her wings could carry her, Fluttershy spread towards the direction of her cottage. Branches smacked her in the face as she flew, trying desperately to reach her non-pony friends. If she didn’t care about anything else, she cared about her animals.
One branch smacked her eye, poking it with one of its sharp branches. The little pony stopped, holding her eye, a cry of pain escaping her lips. Fresh blood seeped from a small cut of the white of her eye.
Suddenly, a wave of nausea overtook Fluttershy. She threw up in the swamp, vomit landing in the murky water. The yellow pegasus, resisting the urge to faint, tried to carry on. She could hardly breathe, thoughts clouded, lungs malfunctioning, painfully deflating as soon as she tried to suck in a breath. Her eye continued bleeding, and desperately, she tried to stop the bleeding with a cobweb on a nearby branch. After slapping it over her eye, the pegasus could hardly fly. Her wings seemed to weigh her down, screaming in protest for her to stop. Fluttershy couldn’t take it. She frantically landed.
***
After a generally long trek, the pony collapsed near the village, shocked from exhaustion. Her little body could hardly take this treatment; she was over exhausting herself, treating her body as if it were a machine. Under such conditions, the small pony might have died, if not for a certain, derpy-eyed mare. The young mail-mare had been lost on her way to deliver letters, when she spotted Fluttershy through blurry vision. Fluttershy could faintly feel Derpy poking her a bit, then picking up her scruff and trying to drag her to the hospital. The pegasus could hardly feel a thing.
After what seemed like a moment later, the pony woke up to find herself in a hospital bed. Her hooves were numb, and she had no clue why, but she had the haunting suspicion that the hospital workers had done something to her hooves. Holding them up gently, she could see stitches around where the hoof was connected to her leg. Hoof replacement surgery only happened if the circulation to the feet had been cut off. Fluttershy could faintly remember lack of feeling in her hooves before she collapsed. Was this what had happened to her? Was her original tissue--the one she was born with--really gone?
The thought made her visibly shudder.
Aside from her newly added hooves, Fluttershy could see that she was wearing a violet hospital gown. She was next to a table with a tray on top, which held a dandelion sandwich and some custard. The pony pushed the small dish away, lack of appetite threatening to spill any content she attempted to digest back up. Any craving for food she had even once had had evaporated long ago, turning to air that she had released as she breathed.
Nurse Redheart entered the room.
Fluttershy muttered a quiet hello, a bit shy, and not very happy.
Redheart looked at her, smiled, and said hello back before scribbling something down on a sheet of paper.
Fluttershy gently sat up, looking to observe her surroundings a bit more. All of a sudden, it hit her like a bat against a baseball.
“My animals!” she cried out, covering her mouth as she realized she had said this aloud. She saw Redheart look at her, and the other pony asked,
“What’s the matter?”
Fluttershy looked at her. The nurse probably wouldn’t let her go. But she needed to. She had to protect her animals, no matter what.
So she jumped out of the bed and ran.
As she rushed past Redheart, a sound of surprise came from the earth pony’s lips. The yellow pegasus continued. After opening up the door, she ran down the hall, feeling returning to her new hooves. She swerved around one of the doctors, another nurse, and a tray filled with books lying out in the hall. The pink-haired pegasus pushed open the front doors as she ran out of the lobby and into town.
The pegasus sighed, then remembered she was running back to her cottage. She had to protect her animals from that... plant. It was the least she could do, after... after...
She bitterly swallowed, then stretched her wings and flew.
Up in the clean air, she could feel the air stretching her wings out, rushing through her feathers. While she should have felt good, worry kept her from feeling anything but fear, and she needed to protect her animals, anyway.
She wondered if Angel was all right. She had left him in charge of the other animals while she was gone, and she hoped to almighty Faust that he wasn’t hurt in any way. She couldn’t bear the thought of him hurt like her friends had been.
***
A short time later, Fluttershy reached her cottage. It looked all right, and she quickly ran back around the small house to her backyard.
Thank Celestia, she thought, gazing upon the multitude of creatures. At least they were all right; but she wasn’t sure they would be for long.
It was at this point she remembered that she was still wearing the hospital robe.
After going inside and changing, the pony grabbed some tools, wood, and water, and set to work building a fence around her house. She knew that it probably wouldn’t work; why in Equestria would it?
It was the only option she had. That’s why it had to work.
It HAD to.
Desperately she set up a couple posts and attempted to nail them together. Unfortunately, she had absolutely no ability building fences.
Boarding up doors, she could do.
Building fences? Not so much.
If only one of her friends were still here. They could have helped her...
Could they?
Fluttershy sat down and began to cry again. It was all her fault. She was pathetic. Idiotic. Gullible. Weak-willed. And the worst part was, she could be the meanest pony ever, and not even realize it. The was no reason to continue living like this, without her friends to help her.
She felt a tiny paw pat her shoulder.
Looking over, she saw Angel. He wasn’t usually nice to her, and he certainly didn’t comfort her very often. He was still trying to now, though, which she didn’t get. What had she ever done for him? What could she ever do to redeem herself even the slightest bit?
She had no clue.
***
Suddenly, she remembered.
Spike.
He... he didn’t know...
It was the next day. Fluttershy didn’t realize that she had to tell him before now. She HAD to tell him. There was no one left to do it for her.
So, in the depressed atmosphere of the next morning, the yellow pegasus set out towards the tree. She didn’t know if he’d be there or not. She could only hope that he would be there, and understand.
To be honest, she seriously doubted the latter.
There was no good reason he would forgive her. She was useless. Unfeeling. That’s what she felt he would think of her, anyways.
So with a heavy heart, she trudged along.
