"I sometimes lie down and look back on all the things I’ve done in my life. I remember all of the ponies I’ve met, all the ones that have come and gone. Some I remember fondly; others I think of with sour feelings. I reflect on my time ruling Equestria and consider all the things I may have done wrong. I ponder how different things may have been under different circumstances.
No matter how many years have passed, there are just some things that can’t be forgotten. So many of my loving subjects continue to haunt my dreams. All of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ plague my thoughts. I lay awake and curse my fate as a seemingly-immortal ruler of this land. As much as I tried to detach myself from the world, I grew too fond of certain ponies. That fondness eventually came back to hurt me in the end. It always had.
I’ve lived for several millennia as a wise and benevolent leader. I’ve supported my subjects and helped them prosper. And now I look back on it all. There were some ponies I grew attached to. Those attachments never brought me any good in the long run. Even though I think back and feel the wounds those bonds inflicted, there isn’t a single thing I would change.
Everything I’ve done in my life has led to this moment. All the ponies I’ve taught and helped have brought me to this point. Without those scars, I wouldn’t be the pony I am today. Without those scars, Equestria wouldn’t be the land it is today.
Family and friends have passed away before me. And with each one that has passed, I’ve wanted more and more to follow them out of this world. So many fond creatures have gone on to the afterlife. I have been left in their wake to bear the pain of their loss. For a while I regretted my fate as the one to be left alive. Looking back, I see that it had to be me.
There are a few ponies that rest firmly in my memories. I could never forget my dear sister. We had our fights, and we had our cross words, but we always loved one another dearly. Even when I banished her to the moon, I never went a day without wishing I had her back. And how easily she returned to my side, it was a blessing to me.
I’ve had many students over the years. I remember them all so fondly. Yet one in particular is locked in my dreams. Dear Twilight, the Element of Magic, I could never forget. She was always willing to learn and listen, and never once backed down from any task she was given. She was loyal to Equestria and her princess, never once being tempted by the evils of the world. She had an iron will to do what she believed to be right. I recall the day she passed away.
She took her friends with her…I will never forget.
My niece and nephew beat me to the other world. I remember Blueblood’s funeral vividly. Almost nopony showed up other than relatives. Even then, it was just Luna and I. Cadance was a different tale entirely, with both her kingdom and my own showing up to honor her passing. Not many were sad to see her go, and instead let her leave knowing her people were happy. I respect that about her. She suffered the loss of her husband and her children before she passed, and continued to treat her kingdom kindly.
Those are some ponies I remember fondly. There are others whose names I still curse to this day. Discord, that abominable demon, caused so much trouble while he lived… On the very day my dear student passed away, the fiend was revived and began to cause his mischief. Despite the sorrow that filled the air, I had no choice but to defeat him again… That’s all I will say about the scoundrel…
I’m letting my mind drift off to the past too much. None of what’s passed matters now. But memories are a nice thing to have, aren’t they? Without them, all of the good times would be lost to time. I sometimes think back and wonder if my memories tell the truth. There are so many things that I can’t remember, I wonder if they ever really happened at all. As time has passed, my mind has started to fail me.
There are some things I can’t recall at all. The names of Twilight’s friends, for example. Perhaps I never connected with them enough to be important. That’s not all, though. I can’t remember how I became the ruler of Equestria. I’d chalk that up to not wanting to remember anymore, though.
It’s sad, isn’t it? There are some scars you just don’t want to leave visible, so you cover them up with lies and masks. Once you’ve worn a mask for so long, you begin to forget what your real face looks like. I think that’s me. I talk of all these sad things in my life, and yet as they passed I never once considered them sad.
When faced with the realization that I’ve been forced to watch all my loved ones die before my eyes, I feel a deep pit in my gut. I’m beginning to reflect on everything in life. I know my energy is fading.
I’m writing this because I know my time has almost come. It won’t be long now, and I’ll join them all in the other world. I’ll see all of my loving subjects and friends and family members when I go. I welcome this passing.
I’ve wanted nothing more than this since the day I started reflecting on my actions. Now that it’s here, I have no fear. I’m ready to follow in their footsteps. My ‘eternal’ life is at its end, and I couldn’t be happier. I only hope that my subjects look back on me as a just and kind ruler. I don’t want them to think me selfish for indulging in the peaceful delicacy of passing.
To all those who read this: good-bye. As I write, I feel my energy draining entirely. I think this is the end. Don’t be sad. We’ll meet again in the other world. Of that I have no doubt. I’ve lived a long life…but everything must come to an end…
Good-bye, my subjects. Hello, my friends…"
~Farewell,
Celestia
