Le Retour

by k12314

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Scootaloo, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Sad, Romance, Original Character
Length: 93375

Kyle thought he was never going to see the ponies again... Well, he was wrong. VERY wrong.

I thought they were all just a dream... That I was just nuts. Then, my entire world comes crashing down around me, and I have to go back. BACK TO THE FUT- Wait, oops. I mean BACK TO EQUESTRIA! And with the help of my friends, I can get my life back on track. The RIGHT track.

(In case you don't know, this is the sequel to "How Did I Get Here?" so read that first.)

Published 2012-01-07 07:05:39 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-24 20:40:44 UTC

Chapter 2: Memories

CHAPTER 2

When everything went back to normal, I was sitting down, under a tree. I stood up, and noticed that everything looked different. Cartoonish, even. Omnius just looked at me, a big grin on his face. I stood up, and recognized this as the hill where Dashie and I had our first date. I looked out over the distance, and saw Ponyville.

(Listen to this)

I felt a wash of memories return. The falling, meeting everypony, making new friends, my family... Everything came back to me. As I watched them play through in my head, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I was finally back home. My REAL home.

"So, do you believe me now?" Omnius had a slightly smug look on his face.

"Yeah... But didn't you say it's been twenty years?" The shock hit me after I remembered that. Nopony would remember me after that much time.

"No no no... You see, it's been twenty years of MY life. I'm a Traveler, remember? I can go through space AND time. So I've been searching for the equivalent of twenty years, but it's only been a year for you... But... Oh no." He then facehoofed, and started mumbling "You idiot" to himself.

"What?"

"I think I made a miscalculation... It's been five years here in Equestria."

I felt myself go pale, and I felt dizzy. "No way... Well, can't you just take me back a few years?"

"No, because if I take you back, the opinions or feelings of anypony from now would change, and we would have to go back to fix that, and then we would end up being in a constant loop of backtracking."

"A paradox..." I let out a sigh, and tried to soak in the knowledge that all of this was real.

"So... Everypony's going to be five years older... That means Scoots'll be in her teen years... Oh joy." I chuckled. I couldn't imagine Scoots as a teenager, I was too used to her cute little filly self.

(Stop the music)

"Yeah. Well, we'd better get moving. We don't wanna keep anypony waiting!"

I nodded, and we went on our way down the hill, and back into town.

It felt good to be back in the hustle and bustle of Ponyville. And when I walked back, all of the ponies gathered around me, saying hello and telling me it was nice to have me back. One mare, a greenish mare with a matching mane, and what looked like a harp as a cutie mark, whom I remembered to be Lyra, was being especially clingy. After they all dispersed, Omnius and I headed off to see Twilight. After arriving at the library, I gave a quick knock on the door.

Knock knock knock

"Hey, Twilight! It's me!" I yelled through the door, hoping to get her attention.

The door flew open, and I saw a very angry looking Twilight glaring daggers at me.

"Woah... Twilight, are you OK?" I took a step back.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I've just spent five years of my life barely speaking to anypony and studying, hoping I would find a way to bring you back. I'M PERFECTLY FINE!"

I just stared. "You spent all of that time... Searching for me? But Omnius was-"

"I know he was searching for you, but I wanted to help. There was no way I was just going to sit back and wait, doing nothing. And now, you just show up... I don't know how to feel other than angry..." She ended her sentence by slamming the door in my face.

"Maybe we should just give her some space..." I was still staring wide-eyed at the door, unable to believe what had just happened to me.

"Yeah... Let's just go see Rarity. She'll probably be happy to see her number one customer back!" Omnius had a determined look in his eyes.

"That's a good idea. And the Carousel Boutique is just around the corner. ALLONS-Y...! Man I have wanted to say that for a while..." I had a big grin on my face. Twilight was just a little upset, but not EVERYPONY could be mad at me.

We walked into the Boutique, and the little bell jingled to alert Rarity to our presence. In ten seconds flat, she bolted out of the back room to greet ups, but got an upset look on her face when she saw who it was.

"Oh, well how long has it been now? Five years? Where have you BEEN?" She gave me a quizzical, yet angry look.

"Alright, listen... I've been stuck back on Earth-"

"So you just abandoned us for your old home, after you dragged us along and built up friendships like that? What's wrong with you? Did you just strike up a deal with that, oh what was his name... Torrentican?"

"What? No! Rarity, listen-"

"I have work to do. Goodbye." She turned around and just walked away. I was still in disbelief.

"Kyle... Maybe we shouldn't visit anypony else for a bit. Let's just let the info spread a bit."

"No... Omnius, I need to see if there isn't at least ONE of my friends who isn't angry with me... Lets go."

Fluttershy didn't answer when we knocked, and AJ was out in the middle of her orchard somewhere, and I didn't feel like looking for her for hours on end. Next up, Pinkie Pie.

At Sugarcube Corner, I was just standing at the counter, waiting for Pinkie to come rushing when I rang the bell. But she didn't respond.

"Oh, this can't be good... PINKIE?" I shouted, hoping she would respond when she heard my voice. Instead, I saw the dark pink, straight haired Pinkie trudge down the stairs, with hurt, sad eyes, but not looking at me.

"Pinkie... Please don't tell me you're angry with me too..."

"Meanie..."

"What...?"

"I SAID MEANIE! You just went and left us all here. I never get to see any of my bestest friends anymore, because they all shut themselves away, trying to think of ways to find you. I was the only one to leave it up to Omnius... And now everypony stopped being friends!" She started crying, and I just walked out of the store, not wanting to see her like that.

"Dude, why did you just leave here like that?"

"Well, I can't bear to see her like that, and I really don't know what to do... I guess it would be best to just see Dashie... Wait..." I looked down at my shoes, and realized they had taken my Hermes sneakers and given me regular ones.

"Well... What do I do now?" I turned to look at Omnius, who had my shoes with him. "How did you-"

"I've learned from Pinkie."

"Ah." I slipped on the sneakers, and felt the mental connection come back. I flew off, and Omnius switched to his pegasus form to follow suit.

When I landed in front of the porch, I asked Omnius to wait outside. I knew Dashie never locked the door, so I just walked in. What I saw scared me to no end. Dashie was just sitting on the couch, staring at seemingly nothing. Her coat was darker, and her hair was as well, and she looked very sickly. She was also skinnier, and had bags under her eyes.

"D-Dashie...?"

She just looked up at me, then rubbed her eyes. When she seemed to notice that I wasn't gone, her eyes seemed to shrink. I just walked up and sat down next to her, and put my hand on her shoulder.

"What happened to you?"

(Listen to this)

"For five years, I've waited. I've waited for you to come back... I eventually just lost hope... I couldn't eat, sleep, or even go out. Every day for five years I've just sat here, waiting for you to walk through that door... And now you're here... And I couldn't be angrier with you. You did this to me... You stole my heart, then tore it to shreds... And now, the Elements have been disassembled. We aren't friends anymore. We never hang out, we never talk... We just searched for you..."

"But Dashie, I-" I was cut off by her hoof connecting with my face. She stood up, and weakly walked into the kitchen. "You're nobody to me. Get out of my life..."

And as if that weren't enough, I looked over at the doorway leading to the stairs, and saw an orange head poking out of it. It just barely managed to squeak out a single word: "Dad?"

"... Yeah... I'm back."

"Where were you? All of that time... I couldn't do anything but watch Mom just slip away, and become what she is now... Why?"

"Scoots, I... I..." I couldn't even begin to explain to her. "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry won't cut it. You tore your way into my life... You convinced me that you cared... You convinced me that you loved me... Then you just left. You're not my Dad. You're just a monster." She slammed the door, and I heard her sobbing as she ran up the stairs.

I had no expression on my face. No expression could display the pain I was feeling. I just walked outside, ready to leave.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Omnius... Go home." My voice was completely monotone.

"Awwww come on, tell me!"

"GO HOME!" I screamed. I didn't want him with me. I didn't want anypony with me. I just needed to be alone.

Before he could even react, I flew off, headed towards Whitetail Wood, somewhere Derpy had told me her daughter went to play with her friend Pipsqueak. I landed near the top of a really tall tree, and laid down in a branch. I just sat there, staring off into the sky. Then, the tears came.

I just cried and cried. I had what little life I had taken away when I fell into Equestria, but managed to carve a meaningful and happy existence, just to have it taken away by Torrentican. Then, the life I led, assuming I was helping psychology, is taken by Omnius, who brings me back. I thought I would be able to go back to my normal life, after being brought up to speed. But instead, I learn that my friends have torn apart, and It's all my fault... All I do is cause trouble and ruin everything, no matter where I go... Scoots was right.

I'm a monster.

Chapter 4: Lifeless

CHAPTER 4

(Listen to this)

I ran at Hoops, screaming like a madman. Then, I grabbed him with my free hand and slammed him against a wall. Be warned, the next few lines are not for the faint of heart. You see, when I get REALLY mad, I get really badmouthed. The only reason I haven't cursed up to this point is because I couldn't bring myself to do it in front of the ponies, but I was drunk... So... Yeah.

"I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT!" I spat as I yelled, and he just cringed.

"I-I-I thought you were dead!" He was squirming a bit, but nothing could get out of the death grip I had him in.

"Well guess what, dumbass... I'M NOT! BUT YOU ARE!" I had the broken bottle up to his neck, ready to cut his throat open at any second. But instead of doing that, I slammed his head on the wall a few times, and slashed his chest a few times. I was going to have a little "fun" before getting rid of him.

"Oh... You think you're so tough? Where were you the past five years, freak?" I felt my eye twitch. I ran right at him, and swung downwards, driving the bottle deep into his leg. He howled in pain as I dug the jagged edges under his kneecap and ripped it out of place. I then yanked the bottle out, and broke it over his head. I picked up one of the shards, and shoved it in his mouth.

"You insulted my daughter..."

PUNCH. He coughed up some blood.

"You've messed with me so many times..."

PUNCH. Blood was running from his mouth, and he was gagging on the shard of glass.

"AND I'M DRUNK AS HELL!"

PUNCH. He was making very light gagging noises, and his breathing was somewhat strained.

I stood up, and kicked him in the ribs a few times until I heard a satisfying CRACK to signal that I broke something. Then I kicked him in the side of the muzzle, and I saw a tooth fly out. I saw a rubbish bin sitting nearby, so I picked it up and slammed it down on his head. Blood was running from his nose and one of his ears. He was twitching, and he was just barely breathing. I landed a few more kicks on his stomach, and then stomped on another one of his kneecaps, making sure that he would never walk again.

I spit on his face, and stumbled away, leaving a horrified Scoots behind.

(Stop the music)

I walked, not knowing where I was even going. I had sobered up, and realized that I just nearly killed somepony right in front of Scoots.

"You FUCKING IDIOT! You probably just scarred her for life... You can't do anything right... Why!?!? Why can't you just do a single damned thing right?"

Then, Scoots ran up behind me. Seeing her up close made me smile. She still didn't have her Cutie Mark, but she had her short, pale pink mane, and she was a good bit taller.

"Hey kiddo... What is it?" I went to ruffle her hair, but she swatted my hand away.

"... You're sick." I felt any shred of happiness that was in me shatter instantly.

"W-What?"

"You heard me. So he insults me, then hits me. So what? You didn't need to nearly kill him! I managed to rush him to the hospital... I hope he's alright..."

"... I assume you're going to turn me in?"

"No. I want you to have to live with everything you've done. You don't deserve prison. I was wrong, you're not a monster. You're something much, much worse... I never want to see you again." She turned and flew off. I was devastated. Both by what she said, and the realization that I missed her first flight. I missed teaching her how to fly. What kind of dad was I...?

After wandering for a bit, and rifling through a few dumpsters for something I needed, I found the hill where me and Dashie had our first date. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I felt my back pocket to see if it was still there, and it was. I walked up the hill, and sighed as I looked up at Luna's night.

"Sorry I never found time to come see you Luna..."

I climbed up the tree on the hill, and just laid in a branch, staring up at the sky, crying. After about ten minutes, I stopped, and wiped my eyes. It had begun raining, hard.

"I just can't keep up like this... I don't know any other way... I know this makes me a coward, but..."

I took the rope out of my back pocket, and started tying it to the branch.

"I can't take it anymore."

(Third Person)

Applejack loomed in the bushes near the top of the hill, braving through the rain that had begun, watching Kyle just lay in the branch, mumbling to himself. Then, he pulled a rope out of his pocket.

"What th' hay is that boy doin'?"

After he tied it around the branch, he tied it around his neck, and sat, ready to jump. Applejack's eyes widened, as she realized what he was doing.

"No! It can't end like that! Not until Ah' tell 'im..."

(Listen to this)

But, instead of jumping, he sat there. She could just barely make out his words.

"I'm sorry, everypony. I'm sorry Dashie... I'm sorry Scoots... I'm sorry AJ... Oh man, I really fucked up this time, didn't I...? There's just no point in keeping up like this. I'm just... I don't even know what I am. I'm just a drunken, murderous THING. I don't deserve this place, these ponies... Why the hell did I even think it would be a good idea to come back? I should have just stayed behind..."

Then, he jumped. He began to make slight choking noises, but mainly stayed quiet, accepting death's embrace. A sharp clap of thunder made Applejack snap out of her shock, and race towards Kyle, who had stopped squirming, and just stared ahead blankly. She worried that she was to late.

As she stood below him, she realized she couldn't do anything to save him. Tears began to run down her cheeks, blending in with the heavy rain, only slightly blocked by her brown Stetson cowpony hat. She realized that she would never get to confess her feelings for him.

Then, as if a gift from the Goddesses, a familiar brown pegasus shot by, smashing the branch off, bringing Kyle down to rest on Applejack's back. Zephyr had saved his life.

"AJ! What happened!?!?" Zephyr was in a panic, trotting in place.

"H-He was in so much p-pain... E-Everypony w-was mad at 'im... He'd lost th' will t' live... Why'd it have t' go this far...? What'd he ever do t' deserve this? He deserves what he had... And it was all jus' taken away from 'im in a heartbeat... Why're Ya' here anyways?"

"I heard that Kyle was back from a few weather pegasi, so I came by to look for him. I thought that he might be here... But not like this..."

Then, a faint cough came from Kyle's lips. Zeph and AJ just looked at each other, and ran at full gallop towards the hospital.

Chapter 5: Awakening

CHAPTER 5

(Third Person)

Kyle laid on the hospital bed, unconscious due to a combo of alcohol, stress, and oxygen deprivation. He still had his clothes on, even his hat and jacket. The doctors had no time to remove them when he was rushed in by Applejack and Zephyr, as he was in critical condition then. There was a large purple ring around his neck, with a few cuts dotting it, apparently caused by the rope. Nopony was there, as nopony had been told of the accident yet. Applejack just sat beside the bed, her eyes red and bloodshot from crying. When she had arrived to visit Kyle, she hadn't said anything, but just stared at him for a few minutes, soaking in the severity of his injury, then broke down crying.

"Ah' don't know if Ya' can hear me, Kyle... But Ah' guess this 's as good a time as ever t' just come out n' say it..." He could hear her, but he couldn't respond, obviously. "Ah've had... Feelin's fer' Ya, fer' a while now... Ah' don't know where they came from, but Ah' know Ah' feel this way, and Ya' deserve t' know... Ah' know Yer' married, but Ah' jus' wanted t' get that off mah' chest... Ah'll jus' go now..."

She slowly got up, and trotted out of the room, letting out a heavy sigh. She felt a LOT better after having said that, even if he didn't hear her.

(First Person)

"Being unconscious sucks..."

I was in a coma-like state, so I was aware of my surroundings, but couldn't interact with them. AJ was talking to me, So I decided I may as well listen.

"... Guess this 's as good a time as ever t' just come out n' say it... Ah've had... Feelin's fer' Ya, fer' a while now... Ah' know Yer' married, but Ah' jus' wanted t' get that off mah' chest... Ah'll jus' go now..."

It felt like my mind had exploded. Twice. Revelations like that always surprise me, and sometimes even blow my mind. This was one of those revelations that cause the latter to happen.

"AJ has feelings for me? When the hay did THAT happen? I mean, I know I'm a hard worker, and I've helped out her family a bit, but that couldn't be the reason. Nopony would fall for me just for THAT. Or... Would they? I mean, Fluttershy fell for me just because I was nice and she was a fan of mine. But that was just a fangirl like... Is AJ into rave music? Hm... I guess I have a bunch of time to think. I'm probably gonna be like this for a while..."

I heard the door squeak open, but nopony came in, as if they were hesitant. Then, Dashie walked in, and I felt my heart sink. She was probably going to be glad to see me like this.

(Listen to this)

She let out a light gasp, and it seemed very controlled. She had held back a much worse show of shock. "It's even worse than she said..." She sat down next to me, and ran her hoof along my neck, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have just cast you away like that... I was just so upset... I should have let you tell your side of the story... Please... Please forgive me..."

"I forgive you, Dashie... If only she could read my thoughts... I wanted to tell her so badly...

"I... I-I never w-wanted you t-to get hurt l-l-like this... W-Why did I do what I-I did... Th-This is all my f-fault... I-I-I'm the r-reason you're like this... I'm s-s-sorry... P-Please... J-J-Just w-wake up... PLEASE..." She rested her head on my chest and started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt her tears soak through my shirt and onto my skin. I could feel a tear roll down the side of my head, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was just a sleeping man, seemingly oblivious to the world. All I could do was lay there, listening to her cry, unable to do a thing about it. I just laid there, while the love of my life poured her sorrow and pain out.

"Please... Just please wake up... Please..." Her voice was just above a whisper.

I wished I could do something. I wished I could answer her pleas. I wished I could just wake up, and embrace her. But I couldn't. All I could do was lay there.

"What was I thinking? Why would I kill myself when I have this? I should have just given them time... Now look at me..." I felt even more worthless than before. But I didn't want to die... But what I wanted was much more tormenting. I wanted Dashie, but I couldn't have her.

"I guess I deserve this... I wish I could just tell her how much I love her... I wish I could just say something... Oh Goddesses, what have I done? This is all my fault... I'm so sorry Dashie... I caused all of this..."

Then my ring began to glow. I felt a new strength flowing through me, something I hadn't felt for an entire year. Something very important to me. Something absolutely wonderful.

"Love..."

My entire body was glowing with a rainbow colored aura. My eyes popped open, and I saw the hospital room, and an astonished Dashie staring at me. I rolled off of the bed, and turned to face her. The aura faded away, and I felt a million times better. I looked in the mirror, and I looked like I felt otherwise.

"Kyle...?" I looked back at Dashie, and she had tears in her eyes.

"Dashie..." I fell to my knees in front of her, pulling her into a deep, loving embrace. We both cried on each other's shoulders, never wanting the moment to end.

I'd never felt happier in my entire life until that day.

Chapter 6: Loose Ends

CHAPTER 6

After our little reunion, Dashie and I were confronted by everypony else, who were all looking at me with guilty faces.

"Wait, THEY feel bad? I'm the guy who did all this stuff! Ugh..."

"Listen... We just wanted to come and say we were sorry... I mean... If that's OK..." Fluttershy looked at my neck, and her eyes shrank. "EEP!"

"Shy, just calm down, I'm fine... I just... Made a really bad choice." Yeah, no kidding.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're OK... We felt so guilty for getting mad at you... We're sorry..." Twilight hung her head in shame.

"You're sorry? Girls... I'M sorry! I'm the one who decided to off himself... I shouldn't have even let the thought cross my mind..." I felt myself getting teary-eyed, so I looked away.

"What'dya mean Yer sorry? We're th' ones who drove Ya t' to that..."

"Well, if anypony is to blame, it's everypony but you and Fluttershy, AJ. I never came to see you guys. But that's not the point. The point is, I tried to take the cowards way out, and that... That's just not right. I shouldn't have done what I did, and I regret it, but hey, I'm alive and kicking, so you girls have nothing to do but be proud of yourselves for saving me..."

They all beamed at me, then Rarity gave me a once-over, and gave me a slightly irked look. "Darling, you can't expect me to just let you walk around looking..." She sniffed the air around me and scrunched up her face. "And smelling like that, can you?"

"Well, let's see, I haven't had anyplace to stay asides from back alleyways for the past few weeks, and I've been drinking heavily and throwing up all over myself. What did you expect me to smell like, roses and tulips?"

"Awww, don't be like that! Come on! Let's turn that frownzie upside downzie!" She shoved her hooves onto my face and started trying to shift it around. I gently pushed her away.

"Thanks, Pinkie... Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have something I need to do... Actually, AJ, would you come with me? I need to talk to you too."

Her face became the same color as her apples. "Umm... Alright. Let's go... Ah'll seeya later everypony."

We headed out of the hospital, and everypony went their separate ways, each with their own things to do.

"So... What is it Ya' wanted t' talk t' me 'bout?"

"I heard what you said to me in the hospital."

She blushed again, and looked away. "Y-Ya' heard that?"

"Yeah. I'm not weirded out or anything, I just wanna know why." I tipped my hat a bit to keep the sun out of my eyes.

"Well, Yer' a hard worker, Yer' real nice, considerate, and Ya always keep 'n open mind t' everything. Not t' mention Ya've helped mah family out a bit, 'specially Mac. And Ya've kept Apple Bloom outta trouble once er' twice." She gave me a small smile. I rubbed my chin, thinking about all of this for a moment or so.

"Huh... She's right... Well, I guess I'd best not press the matter."

"Alright. Well, AJ, I won't let this get in the way of our friendship, as long as things don't get weird." I cocked a slightly accusing eyebrow at her.

"No problem. Like Ah' said, Ah' know Yer' married, so Ah' won't try anything. Ah' am the Element o' Honesty after all."

I chuckled, and got ready to take off. I hadn't used my sneakers much since I got them back, and I needed to talk to Scoots anyways. "Alrighty then, seeya later AJ!"

She waved as I flew off towards Dashie's- my house.

When I landed, I just walked inside, knowing the door wouldn't be locked. I always wondered why we had a door... We could just fly in through the windows.

"Hey... Scoots? You here?" I was semi-yelling for her. I was worried she would be freaked out by my barging in.

She rounded the corner, and just stared in disbelief when she saw me. "You're... Alive?"

I just grinned at her. "You think I'll go out that easily...?" Then, I dropped the act, and went into full on serious mode. "I'm sorry for all the grief I've caused you guys... I never meant to leave. I had no say in the matter..."

"I know... Mom told me all about it. I'm sorry... Dad."

(Listen to this)

I felt myself tear up. "Did you just call me..."

She started tearing up too, and just slowly nodded.

"Scoots..."

"Dad..."

She jumped at me, and knocked me over into a hug, crying. I was bawling my eyes out. I had my daughter back... Nothing could have ruined that moment.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry I w-was so m-mad at you... I-I didn't th-think you w-w-would do that..." She buried her face into my shoulder, and I just stroked the back of her mane.

"I kn-know Scoots... I-I'm sorry I t-tried to take the c-c-cowards way out... It w-wasn't right, I know it w-w-wasn't..." I held her as if my life depended on it, rocking back and forth on the ground. I couldn't believe that I had my life back. It felt so... Right.

"So... I see you two have made up." Dashie rounded the corner, giving me and Scoots a warm look.

I wiped my eyes my nose off on my jacket sleeve. I took the time to throw my hat on the couch and shake my hair out. "Yeah... It feels great for everything to be back to normal... Hey, I know it's a bit soon... But d'ya think I could start... Staying here again?"

She just smiled, and kissed me on the cheek. "Sure, why not." She closed her eyes and smiled, slightly tilting her head. It was like something out of a cartoon.

"So, what do you two think of dinner?" Dashie was heading towards the kitchen. I'd missed her cooking so much...

"YES PLEASE!" I threw my arms up for emphasis, getting a chuckle from both of them.

"Good, because I'm making veggie stir fry."

"That sounds like something AJ would make..." I chuckled at my southern cooking joke.

"Why would you say that?" Dashie gave me a confused look.

"Oh, no reason... You wouldn't understand." I waved my arm dismissively, and she raised her eyebrow even further, until she just smiled and shook her head. I sat down on the couch, and just smiled.

"I'm home..."

Chapter 7: JUST when things were getting back to normal...

CHAPTER 7

"Oh boy..." I stood outside of the castle, and the guards didn't look at me. Still reminded me of those guards from England. You know, the ones with the funny hats? Erm... Anyways... So I'd spent a few weeks spending time with Dashie and Scoots, then I'd started going around telling everypony I was back. I just had one more stop. Yep, you guessed it.

After I managed to muster up the courage to even face the princesses, I walked into the throne room, and Celestia just looked at me.

"So... You're back." She had a monotone... Tone. I need a better vocabulary.

"Yeah... Listen, I can explain-"

"Oh, there's no need to explain. Couldn't wait to get away from us, could you?" She shot me a glare that could make even the most hardened of people flinch.

"Oh come on... Just gimme a chance at least..." I gave her a pleading look. Then she just started laughing.

"Relax, Kyle. I'm only teasing! It's wonderful to see you again. I already know what happened. I hope you'll be able to stop Torrentican permanently this time."

I smiled evilly. "Oh, don't you worry about that... I'm gonna rip his head off..."

"Now now, calm down..." She closed her eyes, seemingly in very deep thought. Then, I saw a blue flash, and Luna stood there, staring at me with wide eyes. "You're back! I can't believe it! I thought I would never see you again! I-" She looked at Celestia, who was barely stifling a laugh, and Luna blushed deeply. "I-I'm happy to see you again."

"Same here, Luna. Always nice to see the one who saved your life after being impaled. Well, it was nice seeing you two again, laters!" I turned to walk away.

"Wait...!" Luna trotted up to me, and gave me a big hug. "It's nice to have you back..."

I smiled, returning the hug. "Thanks. Now I gotta get going. Bye!"

The princesses waved to me as I walked away, ready to go home.

The next day, I decided to have a huge party with Vinyl, to celebrate DJ 1NS4N1TY's comeback.

"Alright, the next song is something I made in about ten minutes last night, enjoy!" I played the track, and just watched as everypony danced like there was no tomorrow under the laser lights. I saw a few ponies making out in corners, and I couldn't help but smile. I LOVE BEING A DJ.

(Listen to this)

Then, a purple pony with a pinkish mane and some grapes and a strawberry as a Cutie Mark approached me. I recognized her as Berry Punch, the local alcoholic... Before my breakdown.

"Hey there... Your a *Hic* goo' lookin' guy... How about you n' me *Hic* have a lil' fun...?"

"Oh jeez... Berry, it's every time I have a party, you get hammered. Just go and let yourself calm down. Besides, I'm married." I flashed her my ring for emphasis.

"I won't tell *Hic* if you won't..." Facepalm.

"Ugh... Berry, just go away... I don't need this right now."

"Fine... Your *Hic* loss..." She stumbled away after bumping into everypony nearby, and proceeded to hit on a stallion nearby.

"Jeez... The ponies I meet..." Then, Dashie flew up to me.

"How goes it DJ?" She punched my shoulder playfully.

"Hey, babe. How're you enjoying the party?" I smiled at her. I was glad she was back to her old self.

"Great! Hey, did you make this music?"

"No, actually. This was a song I really liked back on Earth. I just found it on my playlist, and decided to play it." I shrugged.

"Well, it's nice." She gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Alright... Hey, you go enjoy the party, love. I'm gonna get a drink." I put my MP3 Player on shuffle.

"OK, cool... Just go easy on it, will ya? I don't feel like dragging you home tonight, we can't have nearly as much fun like that..." She gave me a seductive look, and then hovered off. I laughed. "I love that mare..."

I headed down to the bar, eager to relieve some stress.

"Hey dude." I sat down, and the bartender smiled.

"Well, if it ain't the DJ who's made me all sorts of money." He smiled, and sat a bottle down in front of me. "On the house. It's the least I can do."

I gave him a big smile. "Thanks man... Can I have a glass though? I don't like drinking from the bottle."

"Sure thing." He turned around and grabbed a glass for me, and I poured myself a drink. Then a mint green mare sat down next to me.

"Hey Lyra."

"Hey Kyle..." She looked me over, her eyes beaming.

"You checking me out? Sorry, but I'm taken." We both laughed.

"No... It's just... I've always read about humans in old books, but I never knew there were still some around, and I've been studying them for a while now. But to actually know one..."

"Ah, I see. Well... Here I am. I exist."

"Hey, what's that over there?" Lyra pointed behind me. I turned around to see what she was talking about, but I didn't see anything.

"What're you talking about?" I grabbed my glass and drank the entire thing.

"I thought I saw something..."

"Ah, it was probably nothing... Don't think anything of it... Woah, this drink is strong... I think I'll step outside for a minute..."

(Stop the music)

I headed outside, and just leaned on the wall for a second. I felt my vision dimming, and I fell down onto my butt. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was a green hoof coming out of the door.

I woke up, and I felt sore all over. "How much did I have to drink last night...?" I tried to get up, by I couldn't move my arms or legs. I looked at them, and saw that I was chained to a bed.

"Oh you have gotta be SHITTING ME!" It's ALWAYS when I'm trying to enjoy myself that stuff starts happening.

"Ah! I see you're awake. I have a LOT of questions for you." I looked for the source of the voice. It was Lyra, and she was sitting in a chair next to me.

"Lyra! What the hell are you doing? Let me go!" I started squirming.

"Sorry, but I can't. Not until you answer some questions for me. Like, where are you from? And how did you get here?"

"I may as well get this over with..." I sighed, defeated. "Alright... I'm from a place called Earth, in another dimension. I was skydiving one day, and I fell through a rip in space and time. Now I'm here."

"Ohhh... I see... And, how did you get into the sky to skydi- Wait... You know, I've always wondered how humans worked... Maybe I should try and open you up, see how you work."

(Listen to this)

I felt my eyes widen to the size of saucers. "If I get a feel for how you work, I might be able to turn myself into a human!" She clasped her hooves together and smiled, her eyes slowly drifting away from each other.

Knock knock knock "THANK YOU."

"Ugh. You stay put, I'll get that." She got up and walked upstairs. I assumed I was in her basement or something.

"Alright, now I know where I am... AND HOLY SHIT THIS PSYCHO BITCH IS GONNA CUT ME TO PIECES HOW DO I GET OUTTA HERE!?!?" I frantically looked around, and saw a stand next to Lyra's chair, with the key to the locks on the chains. "Great... That really helps..." I started thrashing around and screaming. "HEY! DOWN HERE! HELP ME! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME! HELP!" Sadly, whoever it was upstairs couldn't hear me. "She must've had the place soundproofed... I'm fairly certain she was planning this.

Then, I saw a bright flash of light, and then I heard a THUD.

"What the..." I looked down and saw a young man, probably in his twenties. He was wearing a fancy suit... That was torn up and covered in blood and other fluid that I didn't want to know the origin of.

"Ohhh... Spinny spinny room... Hehehe..."

Oh great, the dude's delusional from blood loss, so it would seem... Wait, he can help me outta here!" I started wriggling around a bit. "Hey! Dude, get up!"

He stirred, then stood up a bit. He looked at me a bit, and gave me a "The hell?" face. "OK... You're into some kinky stuff..."

"Oh why you little..." I shot an angry look at him. "OH HA FUCKING HA! NOW GET ME OUTTA HERE! The key's on that table..."

"Alright, fine! Jeez..." He grabbed the key and unlocked the chains. I sprang up.

"Thank you... Now, how the HELL did you get here? And what's your name?" I put my hands on my hips and raised my eyebrow at him.

"Dr. Owen Vincent Brahms. And I have NO IDEA..." He scratched his head.

"Alright, nice to meet you Owen. Now, we just have to make sure she doesn't see us while we get out of heeeeeeere..." I stretched out my last word as I turned around to see a very excited looking Lyra.

"Two humans!?!? What a-"

"OH MY GOODNESS SO ADORABLE!" Owen threw himself at Lyra and started hugging her.

"DON'T HUG HER! SHE'S THE ONE WHO KIDNAPPED ME!" I yelled at him. Lyra just stood there, dumbfounded by what was going on.

"... So?"

I facepalmed. "Alright... Wait... She's the kidnapper..." I grabbed Owen by the back of the collar and started dragging him. "LYRAITWASNICEHANGINGOUTWITHYOUBUTIGOTTAGOKTHXBAI!"

She didn't even have time to respond, as me and Ownen were already halfway out the door by the time she opened her mouth.

Chapter 8: Why Didn't I Stay Home Today?

CHAPTER 8

Authors note: OK, so... The last chapter was just something that popped into my head after reading Cupcakes, and immediately afterwards, Anthropology. And Owen... He's an OC my friend wanted me to put in, and I decided that it would be kinda cool. So... Think of this HUMONGOUS chapter as an apology for that last one... And as you may have been able to tell, it's based off of "Why Didn't Ah' Stay At Th' Farm?" If you haven't already, read it, it's hilarious.

I had taken Owen to Fluttershy's, since he was in pretty bad shape, but he seemed to be healing REALLY quickly. When I got him there, he walked right into the door.

"Dude... I know you're bleeding badly, but seriously?" I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Man, I have more morphine in my body than I do red blood cells..." He stumbled around a bit, and then fell over onto a patch of flowers.

"Oh, my goodness OK! FLUTTERSHY! YOU HERE?" I shouted. She flew out of a nearby chicken coop, and landed next to me.

"Oh, hello Kyle... Why are y- EEP!" She jumped when she saw Owen sitting in the flower bed.

"Yeah, as you can see, he's hurt pretty bad. Think you can patch him up a bit?"

"Oh... My... Umm... He won't hurt me, will he?"

"YOU'RE SO ADORABLE! I JUST WANNA HUG YA!" Owen jumped at Shy and puts her into a bear hug.

"Does that answer your question?" I smiled, as did she.

I'd gone home, and spent most of the night explaining why I didn't come home, and convincing Dashie not to seriously hurt Lyra. The morning after, I decided to go see Owen.

"I wonder what his story is... I know he didn't get here the same way I did... What if Torrentican... No..." I shook the thought off. Why would he give me more manpower?

I knocked on the cottage door, and Shy answered. She smiled warmly when she saw me, and stepped aside to show me Owen, who looked like he hadn't even been hurt in the first place.

"How did you..." I just stared. NOBODY heals that well.

"The wonders of my job... So... You saved me, eh? What did you say your name was?"

"Kyle. Kyle Alexander Bucy." I stuck my hand out, and he gave me a firm handshake.

"As you know, Dr. Owen Vincent Brahms. Vince, for short. I hate being called Owen, that's my dad's name."

"Ah, I see... Vince... I'm gonna call you Vinnie." I grinned mischievously.

"Oh, please don't..." He facepalmed.

"Relax, I was only joshing..." A couple of mares walked by, and looked at us, wide eyed. They proceeded to whisper to each other. "Weird... It must be because of Vince."

"So... How did you get here Kyle?"

"Well, I was skydiving for my sixteenth birthday, fell through a rip in space and time, and now I'm here. How did you get here?"

"I dunno, I was fighting a giant alien, and I felt like I was dying. Then a voice told me it would take me to a better place... And then I was in that basement."

"Ah... Wait, giant alien? Where were you at, Black Mesa?"

"Oh ha ha, very funny. No. You see, I owned a company that did all sorts of 'stuff' for the government. One day, we were testing a device that could open portals to other worlds, when one portal was picking up MASSIVE heat signals, and then these demonic alien things came through and started killing everyone."

"... So you were on the Phobos moon base?" I raised an eyebrow jokingly.

"You play way too many video games." He shook his head, chuckling.

"No, I USED to, then I did something with my life... I ended up here. I just wish I could have played Half Life 2: Episode 3..." I hung my head dejectedly. I do still wonder where our bespectacled, crowbar swinging hero ended up.

He looked at me with a confused face. "Why didn't you just buy it? It was just released before the accident."

"Wait, WHAT!?!? I missed it!?!? I knew it would be released in 2011..." Gabe Newell, I hate you.

"2011? Dude, it's 2015." WHAT.

"... I THINK you might be from a different time... Well, I have to talk to The Doctor about this..." I started rubbing my chin, thinking. Big Mac walked by, and gave me a friendly nod, which I returned.

"Wait, The Doctor? You don't mean..."

"Yep, THE Doctor. The one with the blue police call box."

He was speechless. I couldn't blame him.

After a few minutes of just walking, he spoke up. "So... What is there to do here in this 'Equestria?'"

"Well, you could tell me the whole story of what happened."

"Alright... Where to begin... I was in the weapons testing area checking out the prototype of a multi-form carbon blade which is basically a super sharp knife that can turn into any type of knife, sword, or even spear on command. A few researchers were walking by, laughing over some sort of joke about waiting for their code to compile. Even though this was a super high security laboratory, we don’t really care too much about the clothes you wear, so I was, and still am, rocking jeans, a charcoal high collar Mao suit coat, white T-shirt, grey converse, and my favourite charcoal grey British driver’s cap. I have prematurely silver hair (I’m twenty eight)," He removed his hat, and sure enough, his hair was silver, shining in the light of day. "I stand at six foot three, and weigh in at a whopping one hundred and sixty five lbs, all muscle and bone. I’d been told that if I wore all black, I could pass as an Enderman from Minecraft."

"So there I was, jamming out to some sick dubstep beats on my personal media device, when all the alarms went off. I mean ALL the alarms. There were sirens, klaxons, wailing screeches, beeping noises, flashing lights, etc."

"I was rather put out, to say the least."

"Urgent calls and messages started assaulting my heads up display (implanted, duh). It turned out that while experimenting with the inter-dimensional storage devices, some idiot accidentally opened a portal to another plane of existence. Now all sorts of vile... things were pouring through the rift. Guns didn’t work on the creatures, most people went mad just seeing the things, and fires were breaking out all over the facility."

"I’m not going to lie, I was flipping out. I was about to fly off the handle and do some sort of acrobatic pirouette off the handle. It was like the handle and I were talking and suddenly, we both want a divorce as quickly as possible, and then I move to a new country just to get away from the handle."

"That ought to give you some sort of the state of mind I was in when I had my first encounter with what I affectionately call 'OH-CRAP-WHAT-IS-THAT!?!??' or Oc’Wit for short. Hey, I’m no H.P. Lovecraft, so I pretty much suck when describing eldritch abominations."

"This creature burst into existence on the other side of the room and promptly began devouring the two researchers who had been joking only moments ago. So, I did that which I had trained to do during those two years at a Shaolin monastery (a nerd can have his hobbies, sue me)."

"I attacked."

"Now, you’ll recall I was examining a prototype melee weapon, that being said, let us continue. I sprinted across the room, the small knife shifting into a broadsword just as I leaped into the air. The atomically sculpted blade cleaved through the body of the vile creature with no sound, and for some inexplicable reason, the beast exploded into a black mist that slowly dissipated. It looked like something straight from a video game. I seriously almost expected to find loot lying on the ground."

"After that thought, I really can’t remember all that much honestly. Everything kind of goes into a fuzzy blind rage as I rampaged through the corridors striking down anything that wasn’t human. Several more Oc’Wits and many other strange creatures that defy logic and physics by existing. At some point I must have stopped by the armory and put the experimental organic armor on, because I do remember wearing it for most of the fighting. Also, I quickly discovered that projectile weapons were useless. Even while consumed with righteous fury, I realized that something was emitting micro-excitations that caused the bullets in a gun to swell up and preventing it from firing. I like to imagine that I looked like something out of a really cool anime or something, striding through the blood-stained hallways, evil creatures dissolving into black mist as I relieved them of their bodies, clothed in futuristic armor made of carbon, tungsten, and various ceramics."

"I eventually made it to where the portal first opened in the deepest part of the facility (why do the worst things always happen in the hardest to reach places?). By this point, I had taken quite a beating, and my armor was almost at the breaking point. I opened the door to the room, preparing myself to face whatever was on the other side. This is where my righteous fury was replaced by another emotion."

"Fear."

"Absolute terror gripped me as I stared at the most heinous crime against God’s creations. A massive pile of slime, tentacles, joints, wings, and a huge burning eye atop the whole thing. It was hunched low in the room that was large enough to house five Yankee Stadiums stacked atop each other. It’s great yellow three-lobed eye turned its gaze to me as I entered the room."

"A voice filled with hatred and chaos ripped through my head,"

"'SO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN KILLING MY CHILDREN!'"

"I nodded dully, still processing the fact that there was a colossal alien in my research facility."

"'THOUGH YOU HAVE INCONVENIENCED ME, THE END TIMES ARE COME! NOTHING YOU CAN DO CAN STOP THIS NOW! NYOGTHA IS COMING!'"

"I finally got my head on straight and said the best comeback in the history of humanity."

"'O RLY?'"

"I knew that if this creature escaped this facility, nothing could stop it. The micro-excitations that it emitted would make all conventional weaponry useless against it. Missiles ans bombs would explode before they were even shot at it, guns would not fire, and vehicles would not run. The only reason that my armor was still functioning was because it was based off of organic technology. The situation was hopeless... unless... yes. There was no other way."

"I called up the computer and set it to run subprogram Delta Epsilon Eleven Psi dash Six, the total self destruction program. I had always considered myself a bit of a mad scientist, and what kind of mad scientist doesn’t have a self-destruct protocol built into his lair? I knew that the explosives would have already gone off by now due to the micro-excitations, but there were still a few nanites that were holding the place together. Until I turned them off that is."

"Almost instantly, the whole cavern started to collapse in on the creature."

"'NO! NYARLATHOTEP CANNOT DIE HERE!!!'"

"The creature, 'Nyarlathotep,' suddenly glowed in a brilliant light and it started to shrink till it was only twenty feet tall. Its form was almost identical to its, except for the size difference. Nyarlathotep flapped his wings and tried to fly past me, but I was not having that. Apparently even if you break physics by existing, it is difficult to fly when one of your wings is chopped off by an irate, vengeful human with a sword. A wordless cry of pain emanated from the beast, though I’m not sure where the mouth was. What followed was probably the most epic of all fights in the history of forever. A human with a prototype sword (though I changed it through other forms during the fight, the naginata version was very effective) against a towering monstrosity that shoots flaming lasers out of its eye. No joke. LASERS THAT WERE ON FIRE. I still have no idea how the heck that worked. All the while, the entire facility was crashing down around our heads."

"After what felt like hours, but was really only about five minutes, I plunged my blade into Nyarlathotep’s eye and it exploded into a black mist. I had burn marks all over my armor, and in several places the armor had been burned away. My HUD was lit up like a Christmas tree with health warnings about cracked ribs, lacerations, burn marks, blood loss, etc. I knew that I wasn’t going to leave alive, so I settled down near a wall. I remembered that we weren’t allowed to let research fall into the wrong hands, so I had the armor auto-disintegrate. That hurt. Not literally, but I felt like I had gone through so much with that armor, and now I had to get rid of it. The sword suffered the same fate."

"There I was, lying in a growing puddle of my blood in my old clothes in a collapsing building. Somehow, my hat had survived the whole ordeal. It felt good to know I would at least go out like a man. Wearing a hat. My mind started wandering."

"I had never gotten around to forming a family. I was always too busy experimenting to get into relationships. I was grateful in a way. It meant that now I wasn’t leaving anyone behind. My parents had been long dead due to a drunk driver crashing through their house, and I had long ago accepted that. I even forgave the guy who killed them, because that is what the bible tells us to do. It was kind of funny, usually most scientists end up rejecting religion because it couldn’t be proven, but that was the whole reason I drew closer to it. It made sense of things that didn’t make any sense."

"My thoughts continued spiraling out of control when a new voice pierced my thoughts. It wasn’t loud or hateful like the other one. This voice was calm and quiet."

"'Don’t go giving up yet... You have performed an incredible feat, and you have earned a reward...'"

"My foggy mind barely comprehended what it was saying."

"'I am going to take you to a new place, a place where you can be happy. Know that you will be needed there in the future for a purpose that I cannot yet reveal. Now then, Dr. Brahms... Get going.' And then I was in the basement, I helped you out, and I glomped a mint green pony."

"... Uh-huh... Honestly, I can believe that. Crazier stories have been told to me the whole time I've been here." I still remember the story Twilight told me about "Discord."

'Well, at least you're open minded... Can I just ask one thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Why was that mint green pony going to carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey?" He looked at me, expecting an explanation.

"Well... She apparently has this obsession with humans, because we were supposedly here thousands and thousands of years ago, then we just disappeared. Well, she thought they were all gone, she saw me, and I guess her obsession got the best of her, and she went COMPLETELY off her rocker."

"Ah. I see..." He looked back to the road ahead of us, where we saw a few more mares, and they stood in a defensive position in the middle of the road, blocking our way.

I took a step forward. "Excuse us, ladies... You're sorta blocking the roadways..."

Then, one of them spoke up. "See, girls? Men!" She waved a hoof in our direction for emphasis.

"Alright, so we're dudes. So what?" Vince looked at me, expecting me to know. I just shrugged. Then, I remembered a story Big Mac told me. It happened around this time last year, all the mares in town were in...

I spoke at a near whisper out of the corner of my mouth. "Vince. We need to run. NOW."

"Why?" He gave me a confused look.

Then, one of the mares started galloping at us. "GET 'EM GIRLS!"

"NO THANKS LADIES, I'M TAKEN!" I grabbed Vince by the collar of his shirt, and flew off. I wanted to kiss my sneakers then... "Note to self: Thank Twilight a million times over for enchanting these to fly..."

"So... Why did they all come after us like that? I mean, I know I'm handsome, but that's a little ridiculous..."

'I'm surprised you're not questioning how we're flying."

"Meh, I'll just mark it up to anti-atomic field manipulations." Wait, what?

"Actually, magic."

"Like I said, anti-atoms. If any science is sufficiently advanced, it seems like magic."

"... You know, I think I'll introduce you to the unicorn who enchanted these shoes, THEN try telling me it's just science." I grinned smugly. I just outsmarted a scientist.

"Did you say unicorn?"

"Yep. There are three major species that inhabit this planet, along with several others. The main three being ponies, griffons, and zebras. Ponies come in three types, earth, unicorn, and pegasi." I felt like Twilight. I was even using that "Matter-of-fact" tone of hers.

"... OK then... So, why didn't you tell me that the mares were going to be in heat today? I knew that 'Fluttershy' you took me to was acting strange..."

"Dude, I didn't know. Nopony told me. I guess they assumed that I already knew, and that I told you... Or they MAY have been too... 'Out of it,' to have the sense to tell us." I cleared my throat. The sheer thought of all those mares being... Like THAT...

"And by 'out of it,' you mean horny, right?"

"Yeah. And now we need to find a place to hide... Hey, look, a cloud house... But you can't walk on clouds..." I kept hanging onto him with one hand, and scratched my chin with the other.

"Wait, walk on clouds? Cloud house?" He raised an eyebrow.

I thought of how he could walk here, then in hit me. I landed on the clouds with a little pomf. Vince fell right through the cloud, but I held on with one hand, and took off my sneakers with the other. Twilight had enchanted me to walk on clouds anyways, I didn't need the shoes on all the time. I handed them to Vince. "Here, put these on, you'll be able to walk on clouds."

"OK..." He slipped them on, after taking off his. They were a little small for him, but they worked. I pulled him up to his feet, and he stayed. "Well, apparently this is possible... Now then, where the heck are we?" He looked around a bit, slightly frantic.

"Relax, we're on a cloud. I'm fairly certain there aren't any more mares following us, now we just need to see who lives here..." I knocked on the door, and then somepony eerily familiar answered.

"... Zeph?"

"... Kyle?" His eyes widened, and he broke out into a huge smile.

"ZEPH! It's good to see you man! Sorry I've been gone for so long! And you grew a beard! AWESOME." I brought him into a friendly hug.

"No, it's fine! The girls filled me in on the details. It's great to have you back, but BOY did you come back at a bad time... And thanks, it took me a while to grow it like this." He broke the hug and shot me another smile.

"Yeah, no kidding. I was kidnapped by a crazy mare who wanted to dissect me, and the day afterwards, here I am, on the run from a bunch of mares. It's just one of THOSE parts of my life where random stuff just will NOT STOP happening to me." I remembered whenever I first met The Doctor. THAT was random.

"So... Who's your friend?" Zeph looked behind me, his happy expression changed to a quizzical one.

"Oh, Vince, this is Zephyr Verve, Zeph, this is Vince. He sorta... Popped in, so to speak..." I shrugged.

"Nice to meet you Zephyr." He extended his hand for a hand/hoofshake, which Zeph returned with vigor. I thought Vince's hand was gonna fall off.

"Well... You're the energetic one... SO! Where're we gonna hide...?"

"Come with me, we'll hide upstairs. Spits is up there, but she can control herself... I hope." A twang of fear shot across Zeph's face, but he immediately dismissed it, and had a blank expression on all the way to his guest room.

"So... Welcome to Breezehome, as I like to call it."

"This is a nice place you got here, Zeph... Man, it feels as if I'm forgetting something..."

"Hm... Well don't worry about it. You two are safe here, that's all that matters." Zeph trotted off to another room, and I heard muffled speech. I recognized two of the voices as Zeph and Spits, but the third I couldn't recognize. I looked over to Vince, ready to start a conversation, when I saw that he had a hologram of sorts in the palm of his hands.

"Woah, cool. What is that?" I just stared.

"Oh, just the nanites in my body. I commanded them to show me a hologram of my condition. Your friend, Fluttershy, is really good at fixing people up."

I nodded. "Actually, she probably gets a lot of practice on me. I get hurt all the time. Heck, the first DAY I was here she had to help fix my head. I cracked it open."

We both laughed at that. Then I saw Zeph walk in with a young pegasus filly with a tan coat, freckles, green eyes, a yellow and blue striped mane and matching tail, and a yellow music note as a Cutie Mark. When I looked at her, she shied away behind Zeph's legs. "Hey Zeph. Who's the kid?"

"This is my daughter, Divine Melody. The name speaks for what her special talent is."

"Really? A musician? I can respect that, being a DJ and all."

Then, she hopped out from behind Zeph and was in front of me in a matter of seconds. "Wait, you're a DJ? The only DJ's around here are DJ P0N3 and DJ 1NS4N1TY! I know you're not Vinyl Scratch, so you're..." She hopped up and down, letting out a fangirl squee. "I'm a huge fan! I love your music!" She started jumping circles around me, babbling incoherently about me.

I looked at Zeph, a grin on both of our faces. "You're daughter has good taste in music." When she stopped bouncing around, I ruffled her mane. "So, you play music? What instrument?"

"I play a guitar! I sing too!" Her grin was as wide as Scootaloo's whenever she first moved in with me and Dashie.

"Huh. Ain't that something. I used to play the trumpet when I was a little kid..."

Then, Vince put on his best troll face. "BAND GEEK!"

"Ah shut it, Vinnie." Trollface.jpg

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't call me a band geek." HA!

"... Touché."

Then, we heard several loud banging noises downstairs, followed by the sound of screaming mares... Ascending the stairs.

"Zeph... Can Vince sit on your back while he takes off my shoes so we can get out of here?"

"Sure."

Vince gave me my shoes back, and I grabbed him by the collar and was out the window faster than a bullet. Zeph ran off, but he flew off in another direction, towards the mountains.

"Why can't I just have ONE NORMAL DAY in my life...?" I shook my head.

"I dunno. Hey, I don't see any ponies down there, we could probably land. I wanna stretch my legs, and my arms are falling asleep."

"Alright, sure. We'll probably be fine."

When we landed, I looked around a bit, and realized we were on the path leading to Sweet Apple Acres. Then, I remembered something.

"'... I THINK you might be from a different time... Well, I have to talk to The Doctor about this...' I started rubbing my chin, thinking. Big Mac walked by, and gave me a friendly nod, which I returned."

"... Big Mac." I stopped walking. The realization had hit me like a freight train.

"What? There's McDonald's here?"

I facepalmed. "No... My friend, Big Macintosh Apple, or Big Mac, as most like to call him. I saw him on the streets whenever we were talking. I hope he's alright."

"He's probably fine," I looked behind Vince, and saw AJ approaching. "I mean, he sounds tough enou-"

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "VINCE. TREE. NOW. MARE INCOMING."

Before I could react, Vince was up the tree and out of sight. I jumped into a bush, and pushed some leaves out of the way to see. She walked by, but then stopped, and turned to face the bush. "Y'all can come out now."

I climbed out of the bush, and threw my arms up. "I GIVE..." I had a plan in case she tried to... Yeah.

"It's alright, sugarcube. Ah' c'n control Mah'self." She gave me an honest smile.

"Oh. Alright... I trust you."

"And Ya' can tell Yer' friend t' climb outta Mah' tree." Her smile went from honest to smug.

Vince climbed down from the tree. "Awwww... How did you see us?"

"Ah' know Mah' own property. Ya' cain't hide from me here." I chuckled. Leave it to AJ to have a mental connection to apple trees...

"So, AJ, have you seen Mac anywhere around?"

"Sure did. Last Ah' saw of 'im, he was hidin' in th' barn. Ah' gotta go t' town t' buy some groceries. Figured now'd be a good time, since everypony's either runnin' or chasin'."

"I can see the logic behind that. Well, seeya AJ."

"Bye, sugarcube." She trotted off, and me and Vince headed up to the farm. Outside of the barn, Vince stopped me before I opened the doors.

"Are you SURE we can trust her?" He had a serious expression on.

"Yeah. She's the Element of Honesty, she can't lie... Well, she can, but she is HORRIBLE at it."

"Element of... Nevermind. Lets just check on your friend."

I opened the barn doors, and none of the lanterns were on, so it was pitch black. Somepony had closed the windows. I assumed Big Mac was hiding. But after I walked in, the barn doors swung closed behind me, and I heard a large plank being slid into a slot, barring the door shut. Then, one of the lanterns turned on. AJ was standing there, Big Mac nowhere to be found. "Howdy, sugarcube..." I heard Vince banging on the door, but it slowly ceased, and I heard him walking away.

(Listen to this)

"AJ!?!? What's going on here?" I pretty much already knew, but I wanted to confirm my fears.

She trotted up next to me, and started running her tail along my face. I was pretty much paralyzed with fear of what would happen. "Ya' know full well what's goin' on, hun..." She gave me the "bedroom eyes" and I almost let out a Fluttershy "EEP."

"AJ... You can't do this... What would Dashie think?"

"Oh, Ah'm not worried 'bout her... Right now, Ah'm just worried about you, and all th' fun we're gonna have..." She kept inching closer and closer to with every second. Apparently, when the Element of Honesty is incredibly horny, she throws Honesty out the window. Her having a crush on me COULDN'T have helped the situation.

"Erm..." Then, an idea popped into my head. "Alright... Fine. I give... But, there is one condition..."

"Oh really? And what's that?" She inched even closer, her face was right in front of mine.

"I be the one to take control."

She stepped back a bit, and her face flushed. Then, she grinned, and laid down on a pile of hay. "Ah'm ready when you are..."

"OK... Just close your eyes..." The plan was working. "Just gotta hope her hormones get her to think I'll do this..."

Amazingly, she listened. I silently hovered up to a window, and unlatched it. Then, a lasso wrapped around my ankle.

"Gotcha! Don't Ya' think Yer' gettin' away THAT EASY!"

"AJ, it's been fun, but.. IGOTTAGOBYE!" I yanked as hard as I could, and the lasso came out of her mouth, and I flew off. I had to find Vince AND Big Mac. GREAT.

(Stop the music)

After a half an hour of searching and a few groups of mares chasing me, I ended up in Canterlot. I had half a mind to ask Luna for help, but that didn't seem like a good idea, with her being female and all.

"Sometimes, I really HATE my luck... NOTHING ever goes my way. Heck, the only thing that could make things worse is if Torrentican popped up in my head... Nothing? OK, that's ONE good thing today. Now I just gotta find those two..."

After an hour of wandering, I eventually walked past an antique store, and the door opened. A very fancy looking stallion poked his head out, and mouthed the words "Get in here, NOW." I was all too happy to comply. I walked in, and he closed the door behind me, locking the massive amounts of bolts and locks on the door. After he finished, he turned to me and looked at me like I was crazy.

"I say, what in blazes where you doing out there?"

"Looking for my friends. One of them looks like me, the other is a big red stallion with half an apple as a Cutie Mark."

"Ah, you mean Vincent and Big Macintosh! They are both here, as Macintosh knew they could hide with me. They're upstairs. This way!" He led me up to a big guest room, where Mac and Vince sat, talking to each other.

"An' then she told me t' go t' town, have th' day off... Well look who it is!" Big Mac looked up at me and smiled, that bored expression still on his face otherwise. "Long time no see, bud."

"Yeah, long story..." I rubbed the back of my head.

"AJ already told me all 'bout it. Ah' understand. It's good t' see Ya' again, though. Even un'er these circumstances."

I tried my best to mimic his voice. "Eeyup." We all shared a good laugh. We sat down and started telling our stories of how we got caught up in this mess, and me and Vince told our stories of how we ended up in Equestria.

Vince and I spent the night with the fancy stallion, who's name was revealed to be Fancypants, respectively, and Big Mac. The next morning however, I awoke to the sound of glass shattering, and Big Mac practically kicking the door down to my room.

"KYLE! WE GOTTA GO! NOW!"

(Listen to this)

"What happened!?!?" I rolled out of bed, luckily I slept in my clothes. I put on my jacket and hat and raced down the stairs with Mac to see Vince and Fancypants holding the door shut, barely.

"So... We'd best be running chaps. Come with me, there's a back alley we can escape through. Tally ho!"

"Ah' feel like Ah've been through this b'fore..." Big Mac facehoofed for pretty much repeating what happened to him last year.

"Well, it could happen to any of us... But that doesn't matter right now. Vince! Quick!"

He nodded, and as soon as he let go of the door, it burst open, and A LOT of mares cam through. We all ran out the back door, Fancypants leading the way. Then, I had an idea. I stopped running.

"KYLE! What in blazes do you think you're doing!?!?" Everyone else had stopped running, and were all staring at me.

"You three go ahead! I'll hold them off! I'm not going to listen to reason, now GO!"

They hesitated for a second, but then turned and ran off. The mares then came flooding out of the shop, and I just stood there casually... But I was sweating bullets.

"H-Hey ladies... Now just calm down now... We can talk about this..." I started to back up, and rounded a corner into another alleyway... And ended up backing right into a brick wall. They all advanced on me, and before I knew it, I had a crowd of a hundred-plus mares surrounding me. On of them leaned onto me, and put me in a very awkward position for a married man.

"So, big boy... What'dya say we go back to my place-" Then the entire crowd erupted into a fury of shouts and yells, consisting of "No he's mine" and "Stay away from my man" and phrases to that effect. I couldn't escape, but the inevitable had been withheld. I was so freaked out, I didn't notice the cloud above me until an orange hoof grabbed me and yanked me onto it, and whisked me away. I looked, and my saviour was none other than Scoots.

(Stop the music)

"... Man am I glad you're my daughter." I smiled.

"What were you doing out here during this time of year, Dad!?!?" She gave me the same look Fancypants did.

"Nopony told me! Of course, I think you all thought I knew. I should have known, because when Big Mac told me what happened last year, he told me the month and day... I completely forgot what month it is. Heh..." I rubbed the back of my head, and Scoots just laughed at me.

"Dad, you're nuts."

"Well, I'm not being violated by hundreds of mares right now, so it's all good, right?" I made a crazy face.

She shook her head and kept laughing. We headed home, and I got a long lecture from Dashie, but she eventually just gave up. I don't know why she didn't just pounce on me... Mares, I'll never understand them... But, needless to say, I managed to wait out the rest of the week with Dashie, and we... *Ahem* ANYWAYS, everything went smoothly, and no mares busted down my door, and we kept Scoots under control. So... Everything went well...

And I am STILL mad that this kind of stuff keeps happening to me.

**********************************************

Well, that was long... I guess it's because I was more or less writing another story here... Needless to say, that was fun. I enjoyed writing that! And now that all the ideas I have that were inspired by other fics are out of the way, we can get back on track. ALLONS-Y!.

Chapter 9: Heartstrings

CHAPTER 9

After that... Pleasant week, all the mares in town finally calmed down. I decided it was best to go see AJ and let her apologize, as I knew she would feel pretty bad about trying what she did. But as soon as I opened the door, I saw Pinkie in her hot air balloon, and AJ was with her.

"Hey, AJ." I hopped into the basket.

"Hi... Kyle, Ah' just wanted t' 'pologize. Ah'... Ah' shouldn't 'a done that... It just wasn't right..." She looked away from me. I kneeled down and hugged her.

"It's alright, AJ. I understand... Sorta. You like me, and you were... Yeah. Of course you took up the opportunity. I can't really blame you... Although you did scare the living hay out of me." I cracked a smile, and she couldn't help but do so as well. My smiles are contagious.

"Yer' really gonna fergive me that easily?"

"I don't see why not. You're my friend, and you didn't do anything... Although I did have to run away, but that's besides the point. Don't worry about it." I patted her on the back to reassure her further, and it apparently worked. It looked like she felt a million times better.

"YAY! That's great! I have to throw you two a party..." AJ and I just broke out laughing, and Pinkie ended up joining in. Eventually I got up and said my goodbyes, and flew off. I decided to pay Zeph a visit... A proper one.

"Hey Kyle! Glad to see you survived!" Zeph started laughing, and I couldn't help but chuckle at my own expense.

"So, Zeph, where're Spits and Divine?"

"Oh. They're upstairs. They'll be down in a second..." And sure enough, we heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs. Spits and Divine came around the corner... I was just staring at Spits though. She looked A LOT different. Her mane was much longer, and she combed it. It looked nice.

"Hey Spits. Long time no see. Like the hair, by the way."

"Hey there, Kyle. Nice to see you too. And thanks, Zeph asked me to wear it like this." Then, a little tan ball flew at me and tackled me to the ground. Divine started hopping up and down on my chest, squealing like a fangirl. Zeph and Spits just laughed at me.

"Hey, kid. You can stop jumping on me ANY TIME NOW." She stepped off of me, and gave me a sheepish smile. The cuteness was almost unbearable.

"So, you're the little musician, eh?" I picked her up and placed her on one of my shoulders, and she held on, a huge grin on her face. "You're not little anymore." I gave her a kind smile.

"Weeee! This is fun! Take me flying!" Zeph gave me a 'don't even think about it' look.

"Nope. Sorry kiddo, too dangerous..." I put her down, and she let out the most adorable "Awwwww..." I have ever heard. She started jumping around me, pleading with me to change my mind. "This must be what it was like when Scoots was Dashie's fangirl... Ugh..."

"Hey, it was nice seeing y'all, but I think I'm gonna head into town, look for something to do. See you guys later!" I waved, and headed out the door.

"UGH! I'm so BORED!" I couldn't find anything to do. Seventeen, and as bored as a ten year old in the mall with his mother. I just kept wandering, expecting something to go wrong, like it usually does when I'm around. But instead, I saw a mint green mare walk out of a store, and look directly at me. She smiled and made her way to me.

"OH GOOD GRAVY NO!" I did what I thought was best, and bolted. She gave chase.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I shouted at her over my shoulder as I dodged innocent bystanders.

"I just wanna talk to you!" She was catching up, and I was getting a little tired from all the running. It was a hot day...

"Yeah! And you wanna DISSECT me too!" I picked up the pace. It felt like my lungs were on fire, and my legs felt like lead. But I kept running like my life depended on it, which, given the situation, it did.

"No! Wait!" I ignored her, and looked around for a quick escape. I saw somepony setting a ladder up, so I ran towards them.

"Hey! I gotta use your ladder!" I jumped on and scrambled to the rooftops. Lyra just followed along on the ground. I was getting really tired, and the jumping wasn't helping. I eventually missed a jump, and fell into the alleyway below. Luckily, I had a nice, soft dumpster to land on. "Ohh..." I rolled over, and got up. I looked towards the exit to the street, and saw Lyra advancing on me. Behind me... A brick wall. PANIC.

(Listen to this)

I started to back away from her, and I walked right into the brick wall, of course. There weren't even any doors for me to escape into, or fire escapes to clamber up. I was trapped, and that's all there was to it.

"Alright, Lyra... Listen, lets just be reasonable..." She kept trotting towards me, and I was shaking. I was honestly scared of this pony...

"But I-" She took another step fowards.

"DON'T GET ANY CLOSER..." I looked over to another dumpster that was right next to me, and I saw a bottle sticking out. I grabbed it and smashed it. HOORAY FOR LUCK. "I've got a bottle and I'm not afraid to use it!" I held it out in front of me, and my hands were visibly shaking.

"Would you just listen to me...?" She stepped back a bit, and lowered her head. My paranoia told me she was going to charge, so I braced myself, but she didn't. I just stared at her.

"Aren't you going to try something? Maybe kidnap me again? Or maybe you might use your magic to paralyze me?" Funny thing about me, when I'm mad, I give the person/pony I'm mad at ideas for how to retaliate...

"Listen, I know it doesn't mean anything, but... I'm sorry." She looked at me, and I saw that she was tearing up.

(Stop the music)

"Wait... What?" I dropped the bottle, and took a step closer to her. "You mean, you expect me to believe that you kidnapped me, locked me in your basement, and threatened to dissect me, and you want me to just forgive you?" I was starting to get angrier.

"Well, think about it from my viewpoint! You obsess over something for years, get dead end results, and then suddenly, the thing you are obsessing over drops into your world, but it never stays in one place long enough for you to catch it. Then, you finally snap, and when you get the chance, you do things you regret..." And then she started to cry. I honestly felt really bad for her. I walked over to her and sat down next to her, and stroked her mane.

"Hey, it's alright. I can actually understand what you mean... Sorta. I mean, I used to be obsessed with video games, which I'll explain to you later, and I got REALLY upset when I couldn't play them. Once, I even hit my brother when he took one of them from me... I almost broke one of his ribs... It's alright, Lyra, I forgive you." She looked up at me.

"Really? You mean it?" She wiped her face on her hoof, and then gave me a weak smile.

"Yeah. I'm gonna be really paranoid around you for a while, but hey, that'll pass. Now then! Let's get to your house, I assume there are a lot of questions you want me to answer."

She smiled widely and nodded her head violently, and I giggled a bit. "Alright then, lets get going." I stood up, and we headed to her home.

"Oh, you live with Bon-Bon?" I walked into the little apartment, and I saw the mare in question in the kitchen, making a bunch of sweets.

"Yep! Hey Bon-Bon! Look who I found!" Lyra gestured to me, and Bon-Bon just gave me a faint smile, but I could see a look in her eye that said "Why are you instigating this?" I chuckled a bit.

"Heya Bon-Bon. I'm just gonna answer some questions for Lyra. So..." I looked to Lyra. "Where will you be asking these questions, anyways?"

She started towards a hallway, and motioned for me to follow. We came into a small room with a desk covered in papers and books, and there was a couch in there too. I assumed this was where Lyra did all her research. I saw a bunch of drawings of me, and arrows pointing to different pictures of buildings. I was a little creeped out, but I shook it off. Lyra sat on the couch, and I sat next to her. She had a huge grin on her face, like a foal in a candy shop.

"So... Humans... OH! I know! What is it that you do for fun?"

I rubbed my chin, trying to think of all the things I did on Earth. "Well... We just talk, or we go to parties, or we go to the mall, which is like a big building full of stores, or we play video games, of course some humans frown upon it because some are stupid enough to re-enact the games." I crossed my arms and frowned, remembering all the crap my Mom gave me for being a gamer.

Lyra raised her eyebrow. "Why would you get into trouble for doing what you would in a game?"

"Well... You see, not all of the games were... Appropriate. A lot of games depicted violence, murder, blood, gore, that kind of stuff." Lyra had a horrified look on her face. "One of them which was especially disliked by most people was called Manhunt, which was basically completely BASED around violence."

"Why would someone play a game like that? It sounds awful, not fun!"

"We humans are violent creatures. We don't just put this stuff in our games. We do it in real life too. We have these devices called 'guns' which use gunpowder to fire little chunks of metal through the air at amazing speed. It tears through flesh and can kill someone in seconds." I remembered how much of a gun nut I was... I scare myself sometimes.

"That's AWFUL! Why would people need something like that?" She had scooted away from me a bit, like she thought I was going to hurt her. Oh how the tables turned...

"Because we fought over EVERYTHING. Power, land, energy sources..."

"Becuase humans don't have magic, so you adapt with technology."

"Very good Lyra! Yes... Now, back to what I was saying: People kill each other every day over all sorts of things, from worldwide conflict, to just wanting to kill someone. My home was a cruel, dark world... But it wasn't all bad."

"Really? It sounds horrid." She scooted back up to me, but I could see the terror in her eyes.

"Well, there were all the fun things I listed, then, of course... The food..." Oh, human food... "How I miss my grandmother's pot pie..."

"Oh! What is it that humans eat? Do you eat only fruits or vegatables?"

"Actually, we eat both. We're omnivorous. We eat fruits, veggies, and meat." Her eyes widened at that last part. "Don't worry about it, I'm not going to kill and eat anypony. We can go without meat, but we choose not to. Of course, it's a little sad, because I loved meat. But I guess living here has to have it's downsides. And plus, I don't think I ever ate a single bit of real meat in my entire life..."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I pretty much lived off of what we call 'fast food.' It's basically food, but it's easily and quickly made, and cheap too. But I ALWAYS ate at a place called 'McDonald's,' and nothing there was natural. It was all artificial, and unhealthy. I think my diet here is the healthiest diet I've ever had." I chuckled a bit. I never was a healthy guy.

"That's... Kinda gross. Why would you eat like that?" She looked a bit greener than normal, and I wasn't helping.

"Because I liked the way it tasted. But, that's all in the past now..." Then, a yell came from the kitchen.

"Lyra! If you're done interrogating him, I've made dinner!"

"Hey, do you wanna stay for dinner?" She had a gleam in her eyes that I couldn't say no to. She was REALLY determined to learn anything she could about humans. I respected that.

"Sure. I'm starving."

I spent the rest of the evening telling Lyra about all sorts of things from our world. She especially liked it when I told her about that stunt I pulled with the chickens and the vat of grease. Still not telling about that. After it started to get dark, I decided to head home.

Friendship stems from the strangest of places, doesn't it?

Chapter 10: Hope Restored

CHAPTER 10

A few days went by, nothing interesting happened. I'd been answering questions for Lyra, and I started helping Scoots with her Cutie Mark, telling her she should try getting a scooter Cutie Mark. She's really good on that thing. Dashie and I went out for dinner, with good results back home... OK, moving on! I was wandering town, as per usual, looking for something to do.

"Maybe I could hang out with Vinyl... We never really talk except at parties. Yeah! Maybe Octavia could come along too..." Finally, I come up with a plan instead of stuff just happening to me out of the blue. "I wonder how Apple Bloom is doing... Scoots doesn't seem to hang out with anypony much. I guess the Cutie Mark Crusaders split up when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle got their Cutie Marks... I wonder if Sweetie DID get hers? So much to catch up on..." It then dawned on me just how behind I was on everything. I even had to check in with Luna to see how she was doing. She did sacrifice one-hundred years of her past to save my life. "So much to do... So little time..."

"Kyle! Hey!" I heard a cute, southern accented voice call out to me. I looked towards where it came from, and sure enough, it was Apple Bloom. I got a better look at her as she approached me. She was taller, her mane was longer, and she no longer wore the bow on top of her head. It was instead attached to the side of her hair, near her cheek. She even had a Cutie Mark, but it wasn't any apple-affiliated image. Instead, it was a hammer and nails. I remembered the story of how well she fixed up the CMC Treehouse, and how well she did with the task I gave her when I was coaching them. I smiled at the fact that I was right about her talent. "It's great t' see Ya' again."

I ruffled her hair a bit, and she giggled. "Heh, nice to see you too, squirt. I see you build and repair things now."

"Yep! I actually just got done fixing up a roof." I wished she would have been around when the TARDIS crashed through my roof.

"Good for you... Hey, how have you been getting along with Scootaloo? She talks about you a lot." I rubbed the back of my head, trying to investigate for Scoots without letting her secret out. I am her dad, after all.

Apple Bloom blushed a little. "Well... Actually... Can Ah' tell Ya' a secret?" I raised my eyebrow a bit, and nodded. "Well... Ah' sorta... Like Scootaloo..." She blushed deeply when you said that. Then, my obliviousness kicked in.

"Of course you like her, you two are friends." Curse me and my inability to pick up on girls' feelings.

"No, Ah' mean Ah' LIKE Scootaloo..." I swear, she was red as an apple. I pondered what she said for a second, and when I realized it, my eyes widened at an amazing speed, and I could have sworn I heard glass break.

"Oh. I see... WELL THEN! I have a little secret for you, too." I smiled at how perfect this was. "Scoots likes you too, Apple Bloom." She looked at me for a second with an "Are you kidding me?" face, and when my smiled widened, she just leaped on me and hugged me, saying "Thank you" over and over again. She eventually got off of me.

"Thanks fer' tellin' me that, Kyle. I... I dunno what t' say..."

"It's no trouble. I'll tell Scoots when I get home, and I'll get her to visit you tomorrow. Don't do anything I wouldn't." I laughed when she turned a deep red, and I ruffled her hair again as I walked away. "Achievement get: Matchmaker."

After a little under ten minutes, I was at the door to Vinyl's Ponyville home. She had another house in Manehattan, but she usually stayed here. She says it's more homely. I knocked on the door, and I heard a groan, and a few bottles fall over. The door unlocked, and I saw a tired looking Vinyl. Her mane and tail were all ruffled, and her shades were hanging crookedly from her horn. "Er... Hey Vinyl, wassup?"

"Oh..." She yawned, and rubbed her eyes. "Hey Kyle. Nothing much..." I heard at two snores coming from the other room, I looked behind Vinyl, and saw a satisfied looking Octavia sleeping on the couch... With two other stallions.

"Er... I see you two had fun last night." I put up a mental block so horrid images didn't make their way into my mind.

Vinyl just laughed. "Oh, it was wild. I met those two at the bar with Octy, and decided, 'Why not?' Sad you weren't there, you could have joined us." She gave me a wink. I shuddered a bit, and gave her a serious stare. She still had her wild grin on, her red eyes had an equally wild look in them. I couldn't help but chuckled a bit.

"Sorry Vinyl, but I'm taken. Dashie has me all to herself. You shouldn't have relented so long. Poor you." I flicked the tip of her horn, and we both burst out laughing. Amazingly, the three ponies in the other room didn't wake up.

"Yeah... Well, sorry Kyle, but as you can see, I can't hang out today. Still gotta go for round two when these three wake up." She finally took her shades off of her horn, and sat them on a stand near the door.

"Alright, I'd rather not stick around for that. I'll see you later, Vinyl."

"Later, handsome." Another joking wink, and she closed the door. I started laughing again. "I have the craziest of friends..." I started back down the path, and back into town.

I was about to walk into the café when I saw a familiar tan streak coming for me. Zeph came to a halt mere inches from where I was standing.

"Hey, Kyle. Think you could help me with something?" He had a worried look on his face, and my hero mode kicked on.

"Sure dude. What is it?"

"It's Divine. She told me some crazy story about how she was out in the Everfree for some reason, said she was there for inspiration, when she got lost. She was crying, then this big metal... Thing, saved her. It didn't answer me, but it didn't sem dangerous... To us, at least."

"Hm... How peculiar. Alrighty then. ONWARDS TO BREEZEHOME!" We flew off, both of us concerned about this metal thing.

"... Well, he was big, and yellow-ish, and he had a light on his shoulder!" Divine was telling me about her knight in shining armor. Or, from her description, her knight in grimy armor.

"So... Did you catch his name?"

"Yeah! Delta." I felt my eyes shrink. Delta. Metal man. Hero... BIOSHOCK 2. No way...

"I know that guy... Sorta. He used to be human like me, but he went through some... Changes... And by that, I mean he can't speak, he is inclined to help young girls, and he has a giant drill for an arm."

Divine smiled. "You know him?"

"Sorta... He's the character of a game back where I come from..." I suddenly remembered Omnius telling me a story where he was in the Left 4 Dead universe... Wait a second...

"Processing..."

Ding.

"Divine... You weren't rescued by Delta, you were rescued by my friend, Omnius... Only in a crazy suit of armor... Oh man, why is he out there dressed like a Big Daddy?"

"Who's Omnius, and what's a Big Daddy?" Oops. I said too much. Now she's confused...

"Er... Omnius was the guy in the suit of armor who saved you, and a Big Daddy is a person in said suit of armor." Bullet dodged. "Now, I gotta get going, I have some business to take care of..."

"You aren't gonna hurt Delta, are you?" I stared at her, and gave her a reassuring look.

"No, I'm gonna talk to him. He's just lost his way, and I have to set him back on the right path... Seeya, Divine."

"Bye!" I hopped out the window, and decided to let myself freefall a bit.

"I do have to set him back on the right path... The path of Hope."

I wandered through the Everfree for a bit, and for some reason, I wasn't attacked by anything. It made me feel at ease a bit. "I've had a lot of good luck lately..."

Well, my luck ran out at that point. I saw a familiar face in my mind, and then a familiar voice followed. "Well, look who it is!"

I felt my heart skip a beat. Torrentican was in my head again. "No way... You're the LAST THING I needed on my mind..."

"Awww, what's the matter? Aren't you happy to see me? And how was the reunion with all your pony friends? I bet that rope felt wonderful..." I felt my face wrench into a look of pure rage and hatred.

"You son of a bitch... Frankly, I'm not surprised a dirtbag like you would use something like that as ammo against me."

"You know me so well... So, did you enjoy the therapy? And what about that little arson ploy? I wonder how many people you killed..." I hadn't thought of that. I went from angry, to worried. "Oh man... What if I DID kill someone? They could have had a family!"

"Are you serious? You aren't worried about getting into more trouble? Who cares about their families?"

"I don't care about my own well-being, I'm worried about others. I just want the world, no matter which one I may be on, to be a better place. And you aren't helping me. So bugger off."

"I think I'll stay right here, thank you... Oh! What's this? Your daughter is a lesbian? How... Disgusting."

"I'm gonna fucking kill you."

"Remember what happened last time? I could just send you right back to Earth, and you wouldn't be able to come ba-"

"HOLD IT!" I shouted as loud as I could.

(Listen to this)

"Wha-"

"You see, that's where you make me laugh, Torrie. You think you can fool me with your empty threats. You already destroyed the controller crystal, so there aren't anymore rifts to close, so you aren't dimming my hope of return. And I know Omnius'll find me eventually, as do the girls. Poor little Torrie, running out of ideas, are we?"

"B-But I could just take you to another world, one that Omnius doesn't know about!"

"Even if he doesn't know about it now, he'll keep searching until he finds me. I'm not worried about him giving up, he's the Element of Hope, and one of my closest friends. I'd trust him with my life. Face it, you're cornered in this argument, Torrie. You can't win. Just get out of my head, and give up!"

"No! You don't have me beaten! I'll get you yet!"

"Come at me, bro! I've got the Elements of Harmony, AND the Princesses on my side! Not to mention practically all of Equestria! You're outnumbered, bub! No matter what you say, and no matter what trick you pull out of your sleeve, I'll always come back, and fight you until the bitter end. I'm not one to give up when my friends and loved ones are in danger. As long as I still stand, you're in trouble."

"And what if I kill you?"

"Luna'll just bring me back, like she did last time. As much as it pains me to say it, she will, and she won't listen to reason. You. Can't. Win. I can't be stopped!" A huge grin broke across my face. "TAKE THAT!"

"I'll be back, just you wait."

"And I'll be waiting with a smile on my face and a weapon in my hand."

(Stop the music)

He disappeared from my mind, and I heard some leaves and twigs crunch underfoot. It was Omnius, and he was in his Delta armor. "Hey, dude." He took off the helmet, and looked at me. He looked like his very soul had been crushed with guilt and defeat. "I'm assuming you're out here because you've lost Hope..." He just nodded, and I let out a long sigh.

"Was that Torrentican?"

I nodded. "Yeah... You heard that?"

"Did you mean it when you said you'd trust me with your life?" He sounded a bit choked up. I smiled at him.

"Of course. As I said, you're one of my closest friends. You've always stuck by me, and helped me more than you can imagine. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me." I felt a few tears run down my face, but I didn't care.

He took off the rest of the armor, and sent it back to... Wherever. I didn't care, all I cared about was getting Omnius back to normal. "I'm sorry I just hid out here. I should have come talk to you, not just... Y'know..."

"Don't worry about it, dude. Let's go home." We both walked, side by side, back to Ponyville. I knew that the girls would be happy to see Omnius.

I know I was.

Chapter 11: Back to normal... If you can call it that.

CHAPTER 11

On our way out of the forest, we didn't really say anything. I was still feeling guilty for causing all of this trouble, and for bringing all of this down on Omnius. He looked... Different. I couldn't really put my finger on it. I wasn't thinking about all the blood and grime on his clothes either. He just looked... Off. I decided to just ignore it, thinking it was because I hadn't seen him for a while. Then, he stopped, and clenched his fist. Frost started covering up his hand, and spikes came out of it. I almost fell over I was so surprised.

"You can actually use plasmids?!" I felt my mouth hanging open, and quickly shut it.

"Yeah." His eyes darted back and forth a few times. "Does it feel like we're being watched?"

I felt my face twist into an angry look. I started looking around, paranoid of the thought. "You know, now that you mention it-" Suddenly a HUGE Shadow Stalker flew out of nowhere... Straight at me. "HOLY FRIJOLES WHAT DO I DO?!" I was about to react when Omnius shoved me out of the way, and his right arm became an ice-drill, and he rushed the monster. He stabbed it and slammed it into a tree, and it disintegrated. His attack was surprisingly rage filled. I sat there for a moment, staring. "Nice save."

"Thanks." He grunted, then cleared his throat. "Um... Kyle?"

"What?"

"I think I'm stuck." I facepalmed, and looked over his arm. I had a quick fix. I brought my elbow down on the ice, and it all shattered, leaving his arm intact thankfully. I didn't really think that through. The hole left by the drill was huge, so his arm was completely free. We headed back off towards town.

Right at the very edge of the forest, Omnius saw Ponyville, and cringed and stopped walking. "What's wrong?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head and took a few steps back. "I can't go back. Not yet..." I felt a frown break across my face.

"Well why not? I've obviously forgiven you!" Then, his gaze turned into an angry glare.

"Yeah, you have," The bitterness was dripping off of each of his words. "But what about the girls? I wouldn’t be surprised if they haven’t even thought about me while I was gone. Heck, you and Celestia were the only ones who apparently cared enough to try and get me to come back." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"That's a lie." I almost shouted, but I managed to control myself. I grabbed his arm and yanked him into the light. I noticed that everything about him had a grey tint to it. I THOUGHT he looked different. "Omnius... What's wrong with you?"

"I dunno. I just feel like..." He let out a stressed sigh. I could tell he was really upset. "I dunno. If you need me, I'm gonna be at my house..." OK, something is definitely up.

"Are you sure? Come on, the girl's will want to see you!" I put a fake smile on my face.

"Kyle-" That's it.

"NO! You're coming with me!" I yanked on his arm again.

I could tell I just made him even angrier, because he snatched his hand away from me, "If you need me, I'm gonna be at my house." He repeated, but in a much more firm tone, with more finality. Then, he suddenly lightened up. “Hey…my friends call me Nate, or Sean. Or Omnius. Whichever floats your boat.” Where did that come from?

I watched him walk off. I stood there, plotting, when an insane idea came to mind. And insane, evil smile broke across my face, just like when I thought of The Chicken Plan. "I'm gonna need a potato sack..."

I stood outside Omnius' house, which looked like crap. The paint was chipped, and his flower patch was just a bunch of dead shrubs. I had my headphones around my neck, and my MP3 Player in my pocket. The potato sack was in my right hand, which I held behind my back. I knocked on the door, and heard footsteps. It opened, and Omnius just stood there, a nonchalant expression on his face.

"Hey Ky-" I didn't give him a chance to finish. I threw the bag over him, and tightened the strap. He tried to escape, but I had Pinkie use her amazing I-dunno-how-the-heck-she-does-it skills to re-enforce it, making it especially useful for kidnapping. Or in this case, Travelernapping.

"Just shut up, you're coming with me." I had a cheerful voice, mainly because it felt good to do something completely nuts. I put my headphones on, but before I could start a song, Omnius screamed.

"LET ME OUTTA HERE!" The bag started flopping around and convulsing.

"Nope." I turned on a song, and turned the volume up all the way. The feeling of sound waves assaulting my eardrums felt wonderful.

Apparently, Omnius could hear my music. I heard small fragments of what he yelled, and even then, only barely. "...LISTENING... MP3... SOMETHING?!"

"Sorry, can't hear you!" I had a mocking tone to my voice, but it was pretty much true. He finally calmed down, and I kept on dragging the bag.

About fifteen minutes later, Omnius decided to open his mouth again. He'd been asking me "Are we there yet?" repeatedly, and I was getting annoyed.

"Are we there yet?"

"No." Fourteenth time. FOURTEENTH TIME. So much stress... So much RAGE...

"Can you open the bag yet? For that matter, how the hell are you dragging me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I’m kind of heavy I think. And aren’t you a little scrawny?" Rage mode activated. I kicked the bag, aiming for his crotch. Sadly, I missed. He grunted. "Point taken." At this point, I arrived at the library, where I had the girls gather. I opened the door, and dumped Omnius out at everypony's hooves. He looks up at them.

"Um... Hi?"

Twilight stomped her hoof. "Where have you BEEN?"

"Well... You see, I-"

"I was so worried about you! Everypony was! Kyle, where'd you find him?" Twilight gave me an accusing stare, like I knew he was in the forest the whole time.

"Divine Melody, Zeph's daughter, said she was rescued by a metal creature in the Everfree. I sorta deduced it was him."

Twilight nodded in agreement. "I can see why you would come to that conclusion... Wait, why is he all grey like that?"

I took off my hat and scratched my head. "I dunno. But he's sure acting differently." Then, a look of realization popped onto Twilight's face. "What is it, Twi?"

"Grey... Has he been acting like he's lost all hope?" That statement hit me like a speeding buffalo.

"Um..." I looked Omnius square in the eyes. It was as I feared. He seemed lost. Hopeless, even. "Yeah..."

Twilight and everypony else gasped. Rarity stepped forward. "Darling... Something like this has happened to all of us before. We were changed by the evil creature known as "Discord." I believe you remember the story we told you about him?" I nodded, the story coming to memory. "Well, we turned grey and acted the opposite of our Elements. Omnius has lost all hope... I doubt it's Discord, but I believe the same facts apply."

"Oh... My... This isn't good at all..." Shy stepped away from Omnius a bit. I doubt that helped any.

"Well, what 'n tarnation could've happened t' make 'im like this?" I thought for a second... Then it hit me.

"He must blame himself for all of the stuff that happened when he brought me back... Everypony being mad at me, my fall to rock bottom... And... Does he know?" I didn't need to think about it. Dashie brought the answer about for me.

"Do you think it had anything to do with Kyle's... Suicide attempt?" She looked at me, a sad expression on her face. I gave her a reassuring hug, and took another look at Omnius. His expression hadn't changed.

"Did you... Did you kno-" He cut me off.

"Of course I did! How do you think Zephyr knew where to find you? While I was getting the girls together, I also told Spitfire to get Zephyr to patrol the skies just outside of Ponyville, where the best hangin' trees are, just in case something went wrong...Oh, and Lo and behold, but something did! What a surprise!" Well, that's a surprise.

"You did WHAT?! But it was Spike who told me I should see the others again!" Apparently, Twilight was just as surprised as I was.

Then, Pinkie hopped over to him. "And Pumpkin and Pound told me the same thing!"

Omnius went from not caring, to being extremely mad. "And who do you think told them? Sorry if I decided that your friendship with each other, and Kyle, was more important than the fact that none of you could really stand the sight of me!" He'd stood up, and he was heading for the door. I slid in front of it, blocking his exit.

"Kyle, I'd get out of the way if I were you." His teeth were clenched, and he was getting worse by the second.

"Not until you talk to them!" I moved my hat a bit so I could get a better look at him, and crossed my arms.

"You think that I can't-"

I decided to finish his sentence for him. "Beat me to a pulp? No, you can't, and you won't." I stared right into his eyes again. "You're not in your right mind, you need help." I felt myself starting to choke up a bit.

His tone dropped, and he was on the same vocal level as Fluttershy. "Help? Why would a bunch of ponies who think I'm a piece of shit want to help me?" I almost flinched when he said that. "He really has lost all hope..."

"Because they-" He cut me off before I could reason with him.

"I DON'T CARE!" I flinched that time. "I’ve had it with others always pitying me! I’ve had it with always trying to help others, and never receiving any type of thanks in return!" I couldn't believe that I heard that from the Eternal Traveler of Good. OF GOOD. "Do you want to know what I think?" Frankly, no, I didn't, but I let him continue anyways, so he could get it out of his system.

Fluttershy was on the verge of tears, and her words came out shaky and dripping with fear and sadness. "Omnius, please stop!"

Omnius shouted at the top of his lungs. "IT SUCKS TO BE THE TRAVELER!"

Right there, I lost it. I socked him in the jaw, getting a gasp out of everypony. I then grabbed him by the throat, and pinned him to the wall. I threw my next punch...

And it connected with the wall next to his head. I felt tears streaming down my face.

(Listen to this.)

"Dammit Omnius! What's wrong with you?! Can't you see we were all worried about you?! We're your friends, and we care about you! The only reason the girls weren't looking is because they've been a whole mess of hormones! You have to know about that!" A glimmer of realization flashed in his eyes, but he said nothing. "As soon as we realized you've been gone, we all started to worry! I even went into that goddesses forsaken forest for you! I don't understand... Why are you like this? You've lost all hope... But we still have hope in you, Omnius. We know this isn't you. You're just broken, and need some friends to fix you." I clasped a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a smile and a wink. "And we're just the friends you need. So get off your ass, and cheer up! I'll even buy you a drink."

Suddenly, Omnius seemed under a lot of strain. He leaned against the wall, and he threw his hands up to his forehead, a look of pain breaking across his face. Tears were at the edges of his eyes. He started shaking his head madly, and after a few seconds, he slumped down to the floor, and he hung his head dejectedly, as if in shame. I had half a mind to make him stand up, but then he started talking.

(Stop the music.)

"You know something? I don’t think that anything is mad when they hear voices in their head, even if those voices tell us to do bad things."

I smiled, and took a seat on the floor next to him. "Really?"

He nodded. "We’re only mad when we choose to listen to those voices..." He started crying, and his voice started shaking. "I’m…I’m sorry...for yelling at you all, and for…for what I said."

"Ah, it's nothing, you just weren't in your right mind." I knocked on the side of my head a few times for emphasis, but he didn't see. Oh well. Fluttershy walked up to him, and the sound of her hooves on the floor made him look up. She gave him a warm smile, and then a hug.

"It's OK. We forgive you." Then Twi joined in the hug.

"We really should have just listened when we had the chance." Twi started crying, but quickly stopped herself. I wanted to say, "Yeah, that goes for both him AND me." but I decided not to ruin the moment. Everypony else started giving him hugs and apologizing, and then there was a flash of light. When it dimmed, Omnius was back to his normal color scheme. I smiled again.

"Well, it looks like you're back to your normal colors." He glanced at his arm, and then he chuckled.

"You know what?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"That sounded incredibly racist." A stupid grin broke across his face... And I almost doubled over laughing, and that goes for everypony else. After we all calmed down, Omnius stood up and walked over to me. "I take back what I said earlier."

I crossed my arms, and I felt a smug grin on me. "Oh?"

"Yeah... It's good to be The Traveler." We fist-bumped, and he took his bandanna out of his back pocket and put it back on. We all headed into the kitchen, and Twi levitated a bottle to each of us. I looked my bottle over, and it was apple juice. "I was kinda hoping for apple cider... Whatever. I'll get a drink later."

"So, does this mean you're gonna be in human form more often?" Pinkie asked Omnius.

"I think so, at least in this Equestria. After all, I'm not the only human here now." He shrugged, and he popped the cap off of his bottle. Dashie nuzzled my side, and I scratched the top of her head. Omnius... No, I'm gonna call him Sean from now on. Sean lifted his bottle into the air. "I call a toast…To Friendship, and to the reunion of Harmony!" We all raised our bottles, and repeated the toast. I chugged the entire bottle, and threw it into the rubbish bin. Sean then lifted his bottle again. "And... FOR ASGARD!" He drained his bottle, and then smashed it over his head. We all just stared at him. Only one thought could run through my mind. "Well, that was stupid..." He looked down a the shards around his feet. "Ow. I'll clean that up." He knelt down to pick up the glass, but Twi's horn was already glowing and levitating them to the bin.

"No need. I think we’ve all known you long enough to expect something like that." She grinned, and I nodded in agreement.

Then, Sean frowned. "Ah. Hey, you know what I just realized?"

By this time I'd snagged another drink without anybody noticing. I took a sip, then raised my eyebrow at him again. "What?"

"We never properly celebrated."

"Celebrated what?" I raised my eyebrow further.

"Let’s see…Kyle, we never celebrated your return to life," He paused for a moment. "And if I’m not mistaken, we also never celebrated kicking Torrentican’s ass in the first place, and we also need to celebrate the fact that we’re all friends again, right?"

Pinkie had a look of realization on her face, and then she bolted out of the library. I looked at Sean with an expression of mock horror. "Sean?"

"Yeah?"

"What have you done?"

Chapter 12: Party Of A Lifetime

CHAPTER 12

Sean and I just wandered a bit, waiting for Pinkie's partyocalypse to come raining down upon us. He told me a few stories about his time in the Phoenix Wright universe.

"... And then it turns out Torrie messed with Edgeworth's mind, to convince him he was the murderer in DL-6, not Von Karma."

I felt my eyebrow pop up. "Oh really... One more reason to want Torrie dead then..." My face contorted into a scowl, and then, I smiled broadly. "I think I have the perfect story for you..."

He looked at me, curiosity in his expression, so I started. "This is a tale that I like to call... The Chicken Story... Actually, no... That's another story, for another day." He raised his eyebrow.

"Er... OK then... Sure." I guess I sorta freaked him out. WHATEVER! We kept walking for a good fifteen minutes, and I decided to make small talk.

"So... Sean... How exactly DID you become The Traveler?" I slid my left hand into my pocket, shifting my jacket out of the way, and tipped my hat slightly. I never really thought about it, but I have horrible posture.

"Well... As you know, there are Gods. There are Gods of Good, Gods of Evil, and Gods of Neutrality, a set of three for every reality and universe, etcetera etcetera... Well, The Gods of Evil chose Torrie, for obvious reasons." I nodded, frowning a bit. "Then, there's the Neutral one, and she just sorta... Tips the scales, so to speak. Anyways, the Gods of Good decided to choose someone a little different than the others. They chose a seventeen year old boy, not too smart, not too strong... But he loved to learn. He'd just spend HOURS listening to music, reading all sorts of stories... And he was just a totally good person. He'd been created just for the purpose of being the Traveler of Good. And as you probably guessed, I'm that boy. My full name is Sean Nathaniel Brandenburg, but you know I prefer Sean, Nathan, Omnius... You know."

I stood there, absorbing the information. I gotta say, that was a pretty cool story. And I decided that I REALLY owed him a lengthy one. So I decided on the longest story I knew: The story of my life.

"Well... I've got a story for you. For real this time. There once was a boy, who never got along with anyone. He'd just shuffle into the corner with a good book, and read. He was fascinated by all these stories of mystical worlds, of crime, of punishment, of love, of romance... Of hate, and of sorrow. The last two especially piqued his interests, because they were the two things he felt most towards the world. He hated everyone, and they hated him. All he felt every day was pain and suffering. His childhood consisted of a few things. Pain, hate, false hope, and anything else horrible you can think of. You know how I walk with most of my weight on one of my sides?" He nodded and looked at the leg I never stood on. "It's because one day, a kid kicked me right in the knee. My kneecap was snapped out of place, and my leg collapsed. They fixed it, but my mom got pissed at me for costing her so much money... She took all of my books and sent me to the playground every day... And she gave me a sick, sadistic smile every time she dropped me off, knowing what would happen. I got sand thrown in my eyes, I had rocks thrown at me... Some older kids even held me down and tried to filter mud into my ears with a straw one day..." By this time, tears were streaming down my face, and Sean put his hand on my shoulder. "As I got older, I just kept shutting myself away... By the time I got to high school, I was good at just sneaking out of class and hiding in the library. There was this girl, her name was Rose Jameson, and she would always try to be really nice to me. I always felt sorry for her, because she only has one hand, the left one. I think she lost it in an accident or something, I dunno. She never let that get to her though... But every time she tried to speak to me, my self-developed instincts told me to hide myself... And after about two months, she actually tried to touch me. She put her hand on my shoulder..." Sean jerked away. "And I just threw the book I was reading and bolted out of there. She never spoke to me since... I guess I really messed up there, huh? Well... That's how my entire life went... Shit just kept going wrong, and nothing went my way... I suffered hardship after hardship, up until I ended up in Equestria. I know it seems like I would have freaked out, but I actually adjusted in a matter of minutes. As soon as I realized these were ponies, not humans, I thought I could start anew here, and as you can tell, I have... That's my story. I still wish I could apologize to Rose. That happened just a week before I came here. I guess some things are just supposed to be left the way they are." I wiped my eyes, and stopped crying. "Sorry, I guess that was a little depressing... Shouldn't've told that before we go to a party..." I put on my best fake smile, hoping Sean would think remembering all of that didn't get to me, even though it did. We didn't talk to each other for the rest of our walk.

I asked Sean if I could see his house, and he decided it would be fine. When we arrived, I saw something... Unexpected. A normal house. I know Sean can be pretty normal, but he can also be... Nuts, at times. Heh, look who's talking... Anyways, I honestly expected an underground bunker or something, not a regular house. But whatever. It was still nice. The bottom was made of a big chunk of stone, and the top was a huge glass dome that looked like it could survive almost anything.

"Nice place." I stood by the door and waited for him to open it up.

"Thanks..." He looked through one of his windows. "Why are all the lights off?" He opened the door, and we both walked in...

"SURPRISE!" The lights flicked on, and I jumped back. I held onto my chest and regulated my breathing. Sean looked at me with concern.

"You OK, Kyle?" I didn't answer him for a few seconds, and made sure my heart was beating normally. Eventually, I stood back up and stopped leaning on the end table near the door I didn't know I was using to support myself.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine. Just a condition that rears it's ugly head every once in a while... I don't wanna talk about it." I waved my hand dismissively.

"OK..." Then, I saw a familiar pink blur come to a halt in between us.

"HI YOU TWO!" Pinkie bounced around us, giggling and smiling like a maniac. "So, do you like it? Huh? Huh, huh, huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu-" I held her muzzle shut.

"We get it, Pinkie. And yes, we love it." I let her go, and she gave us a huge, toothy grin. Seconds later, Vince came walking in, and Sean's jaw hit the floor.

"... Really?" I chuckled.

"Yes, really. Sean, meet Dr. Owen Vincent Brahms. He prefers to be called Vince, I call him Vinnie just to make him mad." Smug face, activate. Vince gave me an angry look, but extended his hand, and they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Sean. And Kyle, stop calling me that."

I gave him an evil smile. "But it's so fun to make you mad!" He just shot me a dirty look.

"So... Vince, how did you get here?" Sean cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, it's a long story. Well, you see-" I turned on my heels and started off in another direction. I liked the story, but it is SO LONG... I went to the tables with all the food, hoping to find some alcohol, but sadly, only punch... And speaking of punch, Berry Punch was there, and she wasn't drunk. Crazy, I know.

"Oh, hello there, Kyle."

"Ah. Hi... Are you gonna flirt with me again? I really don't feel like dealing with it today." I turned my back to her, but she didn't go away.

"Actually, I wanted to say I was sorry for that. As you know, I can get a bit-"

"Completely wasted? Hammered? Smashed? Drunk off your plot?" I started counting off all of the sayings on my fingers, and she grimaced.

"You don't need to be so frank about it, but yes. I was just hoping we could still be friends after that incident." She extended her hoof, and I shook it.

"Sure, no problem, Berry. I'll just stay away from you when you're drinking." We both laughed a little bit. She saw one of her friends in the crowed, and waved when she trotted away, leaving me alone again... Until Dashie landed in front of me after zooming out of the crowd.

"Hi Kyle!"

"Hey, Dashie. What's up?"

"I found something you might like..." She waggled her eyebrows and pulled a bottle out of her pocket. It was... ALCOHOL!

"Where'd you get that?" I was resisting the urge to just grab it and chug the whole thing.

"I found Nathan's secret hiding place. Wanna see?"

"Do I ever! Lead the way, Dashie!"

(One Hour Later...)

"This. Is. AWESOME." I'd already downed five bottles, and I wasn't even able to see straight anymore. That was some seriously strong booze. Pinkie had joined us, and I was having a LOT of fun.

"Pinkie... Have I ever told you that you're my super bestest friend in the whole world?"

"Aww... Thanks!" She gave me a big hug, and I just started laughing. "You're my bestest best friend too!"

"Yeah... Man, I wonder where Sean even GOT this from? It's insane! Almost as insane as you, you crazy pink ball of energy!" I squeezed her into the hug a bit, and she just lost it, as did I. We were rolling around among the empty bottles, laughing and kicking our legs, trying to get breaths in our lungs. After we finally managed to stop laughing, I saw that my bottle was empty, and remembered what Sean did the other day.

"FOR AZGARD!" I smashed the bottle over my head. Having my hat on helped, but not much. "Ow. That hurt... Alright, that was a little stupid... But now I wanna do it again!"

"I married a nutjob..." Dashie tried to facehoof, but instead poked herself in the eye.

"And you say I'm crazy!"

"Pinkie, you and I are officially drinking buddies."

"What about me? I'm your wife! And plus, if you don't take me drinking with you, I'll tell everypony about that thing you do with your tongue-" I shoved my hand over her mouth.

"AHAHAHA... Right... You win!" I let go, and she just gave me an evil smile. I went to grab another bottle, but the cabinet was empty.

"Oh. It's all gone. OK girls, our fun is over."

"Awww... Well! It was still fun!" And then, she was off like a rocket. I didn't know where she was going, and I really wasn't worried. "What's the worse that could happen?"

"Let's hang out a little bit. We are married." Dashie gave me a little nudge.

"Sure. I'd love to."

We stumbled around a bit, and talked to a few ponies. Not much. I ended up walking right into Sean, though.

"Oh, hey Kyle. A little clumsy tonight, are we?"

"Er... Yeah... *Hic*" He raised his eyebrow.

"What's the matter... Wait, are you two drunk?" His eyes widened a bit.

Dashie decided now would be a good time to start joking. "What gave it away, the fact that he walked into you and hiccuped, or the fact that we can barely stand?"

"Well... You guys got it from Berry, right? Wait... Kyle's completely messed up. Berry's stuff isn't THAT strong!"

Dashie took a clumsy step backwards. "We might have *Hic* found your bootlegged stuff..." His jaw hit the floor.

"MY HOOCH! DAMMIT! I need that stuff so I can out-gangster Al Capone!"

I almost fell over. "You know Al Capone?"

"He's my business rival! I provide good, non criminalized alcohol, and he kills people and makes booze. Did you guys drink all of it?"

I shook my head. "No, I think there's some le-" He was off like a bullet. I just stood there, dazed... And for some reason, Dashie was laughing her head off. A few seconds later, Sean was back, and he was NOT HAPPY.

"Okay, you touched my hooch. Only one thing to do now! Let's see...hair of the dog that bit me, some pepper, a raw egg, aaaaaannnd," He spit in the jumble of things he had in his hands, "some roughage. Now drink up."

I just stared at him for a few seconds. "There is NO WAY I'm-" I couldn't finish. He shoved the concoction in my mouth.

"Shut up and take your medicine! Karma, you've done it again!" After I took the "Medicine" I felt... Less drunk.

"What the hell was- Why am I sober now?!" I was just a little upset. I was having fun, after all.

"Hangover Cure: Monkey Island edition. I learned that it cures hangovers. Convenient, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but don't you know any ways that are a LITTLE less disgusting?" I glared at him.

"Yeah. But you touched my hooch. Kar-ma."

"You son of a-" Just before I went off on him, I felt a hoof tapping me on the side. It was Bon-Bon, and she had Lyra with her.

"Oh, hey you two. What's up?" Bon-Bon sighed, and looked like she was ready to tell a long story.

"Well... There's been a problem at my bakery. Somepony wrecked the place, stole the food, and left behind some less than kind graffiti. And I think I know who." I felt like I was going to go off right there.

Lyra looked as mad as I did. "It was that jerk, Hoops! The one you put in the hospital! Great going there, by the way. He must've figured out we're friends, and decided to take it out on us! He's over there, yelling at the other human." I marched on over, and I started clench my fists and pick up my speed. Sean grabbed me by the collar.

"Easy there, bud. I know Love is a passionate thing, but you need to calm down." I decided to just listen in on the argument going on.

"... You're just another freak, and you're a nerd, eh? You remind me of that loser that Rainbow Crash hangs out with. Maybe you'd like to get into a sick relationship with her, just like your friend?" You have NO IDEA how badly I wanted to kill him right there. Vince just shrugged, and said nothing.

"Hey, Kyle, just be cool. I've got this. Follow my lead." We approached Hoops, and as soon as he saw me, his eyes shrank and he almost passed out.

(Listen to this.)

Sean just smiled like a maniac, and a desk appeared out of nowhere in front of us. "What the-"

"The one who ACTUALLY committed the crime," He slammed his hands on the desk. "IS YOU!" He pointed at Hoops, who flinched, thinking he'd somehow get hurt. "Wait, I think I know this line from- NO WAY. Oh I HAVE TO DO THIS."

I grabbed a stack of papers from the desk, and started tapping them with the back of my hand. "No alibi, no justice, no dreams," I slammed my hands on the desk. "NO HOPE!"

Then, Sean and I started yelling at the same time. "IT'S TIME TO PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES!" We slammed our hands on the desk. "TAKE THIS!" We both pointed at him, and out of NOWHERE, there were loud explosion sounds, and Hoops just collapsed onto the floor.

(Stop the music.)

I couldn't even pick up my jaw, nor could I believe I'd just DONE THAT. "That. Was. FREAKING. AWESOME! WE JUST DID THE HYPER ATTACK COMBO FOR PHOENIX WRIGHT FROM MARVEL VERSUS CAPCOM 3!" I almost fainted from the amount of AWESOME.

"Well, like I say, it's good to be The Traveler." He gave me a smile that I HAD to return.

"And it's good to be your friend, Sean."

Chapter 13: Kyle Bucy: Love Guru

CHAPTER 13

"That. Was the best party. EVER!" Dashie threw her front hooves in the air for emphasis. After the party, we'd all gone home, and I got some much needed rest... OK, not really, I didn't sleep at all... I think you can piece together what happened. "And the best part was when you and Sean went up against Hoops! How'd you two do that?!"

I scratched the back of my head. "Franky, I haven't the faintest friggin' idea. All I know is, it was from a video game back on Earth, and that was the third greatest moment of my life."

Dashie's eyebrow popped up. "What're the first and second?"

I got a huge grin on my face. "The second one is when I met you..." She frowned, but she let me finish. "And the first was when you and I kissed on the altar." She just stared at me for a second, then she smiled warmly.

"You're awesome, you know that? Heck, I think you were destined to end up with me! The awesomest pegasus and the awesomest human!" I tried to suppress it... But I burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"

"I just can't believe how swollen your ego is." I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Hey! My ego is NOT swollen! I'm just that awesome."

"Sure thing, babe." I decided it would just be best to let her think that, and keep stroking her ego instead. "I wonder how Scoots is doing with Apple Bloom..."

"Yeah, she hasn't talked about that in a while. I wonder what's up?" She sat down and I rubbed my chin, both of us thinking. "I don't think we should just outright ask her, that would probably backfire on us."

I nodded. "Oh, big time... OK, this may seem extreme, but what if we check her diary?" Dashie looked at me like I was a psychopath... Oh. Wait. Right.

"Are you CRAZY?! You NEVER read a girl's diary! It holds, like, her deepest, darkest secrets!"

"I know... Alright, you've just made me even more curious. Now I HAVE to check it out." I felt a smile creep onto my face, and I have to admit, I felt my crazy side coming on.

Dashie sighed dejectedly. "Alright... Just... Keep it to yourself, alright?"

"Dashie, really, what do you take me for?" She gave me her "Are you serious?" face. "What?" She shook her head and waved her hoof in the air.

"Nothing... Just go ahead..." I walked up the stairs and went into Scoots' room. I hadn't been in there ever since I got back. IT was MUCH different than how I remembered it, but it was what I expected. Wonderbolts posters everywhere, a little desk near the window, and a single pony bed with Wonderbolts sheets. "Yep. Saw ALL of this coming... Now, where's that diary?" Yes, I realize that reading my daughter's diary wasn't the best course of action, but hey, it was all I could think of. I did some searching in the usual places: Under her bed, under her mattress, in her desk, etc. But I didn't find it.

"Wow, Scoots is a master at hiding stuff. There has to be a-" I felt the bit of cloud below me sink a little. "Oh... I see how it is." I kneeled down and yanked the small flap of loose cloud open, and there was the diary. "Clever girl..." I started flipping through the pages until I got to the most recent entry.

Dear Diary...

Apple Bloom's still avoiding me... I thought Dad told me she liked me! At first, I thought she was just being shy, but now I'm sure she thinks I'm weird. Dad totally ruined my chances by telling her..."

"... Fuck." Well, there goes my self-esteem... And then, I heard the door open.

"What did you find?" Dashie walked in and sat down next to me.

"Apparently, Apple Bloom is being really shy, and it's starting to get to Scoots. I think I need to do something about this..."

Dashie put her hoof on my shoulder. "You don't have to, you know... Just let her figure it out on her own. She's a big girl now, Kyle. You don't have to hold her hoof anymore."

"I know... But I'm the one who told Apple Bloom, so I need to set things straight." With that, I was off to find Apple Bloom.

"Nah, Apple Bloom ain't here. Sorry Kyle." Big Mac shrugged.

"Dangit! Alright, thanks man." I headed off into the orchard, hoping to find Apple Bloom in there. I assumed she was old enough to help out when she wasn't working. "Wait... Why didn't I check where she works? D'OH! Oh well... I don't even know where that is anyways." I tried to think of places she would most likely be.

Then, I stumbled upon the old treehouse. It'd seen better days. The paint was fading, the little flaps on the windows were hanging on their hinges, and the wood was splitting in some spots, rotting in others. I felt a flash of sadness, as I knew this was a part of somepony's childhood just rotting away. I was so busy taking in the details, that I almost didn't pick up on the voice coming from inside.

"... Oh, Ah' don't know what t' say t' her! Ah' feel like Fluttershy... And here Ah' am, talkin' t' mahself." I climbed up into the treehouse and took a seat next to Apple Bloom, who looked at me, surprised.

"Hey there, Apple Bloom... So, I heard you're avoiding Scoots. Care to tell me why?" I already knew, but I just asked the most obvious question out of habit.

"Well... Ah' just... Ah' dunno how t' feel now. Ah' mean, Ah' like her like that too, but... It just feels weird now that Ah' know she likes me like that too!" She was tearing up, so I did the only thing I could think of: I gave her a big hug.

"It's alright, Apple Bloom. I understand. I remember there was someone back on Earth who I really cared about, and I never told them how I felt. Those feelings are gone now, but I still sometimes wonder what could've been. So I have some advice for you: Don't wonder what could be, because you'll spend so much time wondering that you don't act, and you end up lonely. Don't let yourself end up like that. Now, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna wait until Scoots gets home, and I'll tell her to pick me up a cupcake from Sugarcube Corner, and you just wait there for her. Get going!" She gave me a big smile and darted out the door.

"... Jeez, who am I, the Love Guru?"

(Third Person)

(Three Hours Later)

Apple Bloom had been loitering around Sugarcube Corner for almost three hours, and there was still no sign of Scootaloo anywhere. She sighed dejectedly and headed towards the door... Which was thrown open by an orange pegasus. They both just stood there and stared at each other for a few moments before Scootaloo spoke up.

"Oh... Hey Apple Bloom... Uh, w-what's up?" She dug at the floor a bit with her hoof, and looked down a bit. She almost started sweating, even.

"Oh... Uh... N-Nothin'... What 'bout you?" Apple Bloom knew why Scootaloo was there, but she had to get a conversation started somehow.

"Well... I'm here to pick up some cupcakes for Dad, but since you're here... I need to tell you something. I've wanted to say this for a while now, but lately you've been avoiding me..."

"Ah'm sorry 'bout that... There's actually somethin' I wanted to ask you too..." They both looked into each other's eyes, a twinkle of hope evident in both.

"Wait... Do you want to ask what I think you do?" Apple Bloom nodded, and Scoots swallowed hard. "Well... You ask first."

"No... Y'all go ahead and ask first." Apple Bloom's face went as red as her mane.

"How about we ask at the same time?" Apple Bloom nodded again, and they both took deep breaths.

"Will you go out with me?"

Chapter 14: Expression

CHAPTER 14

"... And then, she said YES!" Scoots was jumping up and down, telling me about how Apple Bloom and her had a date soon. I imagined them as a couple, and had to keep myself from going "D'awww" out loud.

"That's great! I'm proud of you. My little Scoots is growing up." I ruffled her mane with my hand and laughed. She pushed my hand away and laughed with me.

"Dad, come on! I'm not little anymore." I felt my heart sink a little at that.

"I know... I just wish I would've been here to see you grow up." She frowned, and I realized I was too. I'd just effectively killed the mood. "I'm sorry, Scoots. I didn't mean to bring that up-" She raised her hoof.

"No, it's alright. I understand why you're upset about that... Hey, you still get to see me get my Cutie Mark, if I ever do." She smiled sadly, and I gave her a big hug.

"Now now, don't go giving up hope... If only Sean were here, he'd tell you not to give up on him. Heh, that's clever... Anyways, just know that you'll get it eventually. Like I said: Don't give up. Now go on, you've got a date with your marefriend." Her face went red, and I chuckled a bit. "I'm just messing with you. Go on, get outta here." She flew out the window, and I leaned back on the couch. "And now, I wait."

(Third Person)

"Hey, Scootaloo! Down here!" Apple Bloom yelled to Scoots from the town square as the pegasus flew overhead. Scoots landed next to Apple Bloom, and they hugged. "So, what'dya wanna do?"

"I dunno, Apple Bloom. Did you think of anything?" Scoots shrugged, and Apple Bloom smirked a bit.

"Ya' never think of nothin', do Ya'? Don't worry, Ah' have an idea. Ah' know this nice spot, near our old tree house." Scoots smiled as the memories started coming back to her.

"Hm... The tree house... We should really go back and fix that place up. But that's for later. Lead on, Apple Bloom!"

"Yer' really startin' t' sound like Yer' dad..." They both laughed, and headed off to have their date. When they walked past the tree house, they felt a twang of sadness, and looked at each other knowingly. They nodded, and kept going on their way, eventually coming on a large, open field. Sweet Apple Acres owned the land, but hadn't used it yet.

"Wow... This is a really big field. I could totally come here to practice!" Scoots flapped her wings in anticipation, and Apple Bloom giggled.

"That's actually why Ah' brought Ya' out here. Ah' wanted t' show Ya' this here field, so Ya' can show me some of Yer' moves." Scoots blushed and laughed a little, and Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Ya' really have been hanging around Yer' dad too much."

"Nah, I just picked up on that. But I guess he did rub off on me a little." Apple Bloom sat down and gestured out to the field. "Heh, you really wanna see my tricks, don't you? Alright, prepare to be amazed!" She flew off into the air, and Apple Bloom smiled contently, and leaned back a little to just relax and watch the show. Scoots did a few flips, a couple of barrel rolls, and changed a few clouds into different animal shapes. It wasn't anything too special, but it was the best Scoots could do, and that's all that mattered to Apple Bloom. scoots touched down right next to Apple Bloom, and gave her a big smile. "So, what'd ya think?"

"Ah' loved it. Yer' a real good flyer, Scoots. Ya' been gettin' lessons from Rainbow Dash?" Scoots nodded, and sat down. She was sweating a little, but she wasn't too tired. "Ya' worked up a sweat doin' all those stunts."

"Yeah... But I'm fine. It happens when you do stunts like that with as little skill as I have. Mom said I shouldn't be doing a bunch of stunts until my wings are stronger. They should be strong enough now, but I didn't learn to fly until about two years after I should have. But, if I push myself hard enough, I can catch up with everypony else." Apple Bloom gave Scoots a hug.

"Well, don't go pushin' yerself too hard now, Ah' don't wanna see Ya' get hurt. Yer' real important t' me." Scoots squeezed a bit tighter.

"Everypony's too good to me. I have mom and dad, and now I have you, Apple Bloom... Thanks for caring."

"No problem. Yer mah best friend... No... Yer more than that. Yer mah marefriend, so Ah'm supposed to care." Apple Bloom felt Scoots shaking slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just so lucky... I never thought anypony would ever love me. I guess I was wrong." Apple Bloom leaned back and stared into Scoots' eyes, which were bloodshot and red, but she was smiling.

"Yer' nuts. We all love Ya'!"

"Yeah, but that kind of love isn't what I mean. I mean like what we have-" Scoots shoved her hoof in her mouth and blushed, but Apple Bloom pushed her hoof away.

"Ah' know. Ah' love Ya', Scoots. But don't Ya' think fer' more than a second that Ya' don't deserve it, 'cuz Ya' do. Ya've been such a good friend t' me n' Sweetie fer' all this time, and we both just wanted more between th' two of us." Scoots smiled and wiped her eyes.

"You sound just like dad..." Apple Bloom giggled a bit.

"Ah' do, don't Ah'? Maybe Ah'm the one who's been spendin' too much time with Kyle..."

"I doubt my mom would appreciate that." They both started laughing and rolling around on the ground for a few moments, before they recovered.

"Y'know, that's what Ah' like 'bout Ya', Scoots. Yer' always so calm n' lighthearted, even if somethin' important's happenin'. Ya' know how Ah' am, Ah' always get real serious."

"Yeah, but that's what I like about you!"

"Huh... Ain't life funny like that." Apple Bloom smiled, and leaned back, the sun beaming down on her in a way that makes her look almost angelic. Scoots just looks at her for a moment, and then smiles.

"I'm the luckiest pony in the world to have her as a marefriend..."

Chapter 16: Show and Tell

CHAPTER 16

No, Pinkie, get back in the computer!

But I don't wanna!

DANGIT PINKIE! YOU'RE TEARING THE FOURTH WALL APART BEING HERE!

So? Who needs that silly wall anyways?

You're going back in there, and there's nothing you can do about it!

That is, IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!

No! Pinkie! GET BACK HERE YOU!

CRASH. SLAM. SMASH.

Ugh... Oh. Uh... You're all here... Well... BACK TO THE STORY!

"Sugarcube Corner. SANCTUARY."

GRUMBLE.

I grabbed my stomach. I hadn't eaten all day, and Sugarcube Corner was the only place I knew with those awesome banana nut muffins. "Forget healthy eating, I'm hungry." I walked inside, and was met with the rushing pink blur that is Pinkie Pie.

"Hi Kyle! I haven't seen you in a while! How've you been? Oh, wait, don't tell me! Lemme guess-"

"Hi Pinkie. I've been good. Sorry I haven't hung out with you girls lately, I've just been hanging out, getting reacquainted with everything. A lot has changed in..." I looked behind her, and saw two young foals, probably around five years old. "Oh my goodness... THEY'RE ALL GROWN UP!" I walked over to them, and without a doubt, it was Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake. "Pumpkin! Pound! YOU'RE BOTH SO CUTE!" I picked them up and gave them a big hug. I'd met them a few weeks before my wedding.

"Uncle Kyle?" Pound tilted his head.

"Yep! I'm back, kids! I haven't seen you two in a while. Sheesh, you're both getting so big! I can hardly recognize you both! I remember when you were in diapers..." Then, a magic zipper showed up on my mouth.

"Don't talk about that! We're big ponies now!" Pumpkin was getting even better at magic. I still have no idea how they got their talents so young. The zipper disappeared, and I grinned like an idiot.

"Alright, alright. You kids go off and play. Pinkie? Can I get a couple banana nut muffins?"

"Okie-Dokie-Lokie!"

"Speaking of muffins, where the heck has Derpy been? I haven't seen her in my entire time back."

"She's off with that Doctor Whooves guy! He's kinda weird, but she really likes him."

"Yeah, that would make sense. I just hope she doesn't get hurt. Who KNOWS where they're going." I could think of a few things, but I knew that I could only think of a microscopic portion of where The Doctor would take her.

"Here're you're muffins! Don't worry, they're on the house. Or, on me. Why would muffins be on the house anyways? They wouldn't be very yummy like that..." I had to resist the urge to facepalm.

"Alright, Pinkie, I'll see you later." She waved to me as I walked away. I decided it would be nice to eat in the park, which was thankfully nearby. That's how it is with Ponyville, everything seems so close together.

I sat down on my favorite bench, and took a minute to look at the scenery. "So peaceful..." I started munching on a muffin, when all of a sudden, a familiar yellow filly was standing in front of me.

"Oh, hey Divine."

"Hi Kyle!" she hopped up onto the bench next to me. I reached into my baggie and pulled out the other muffin.

"Want it?" She nodded, and I tossed it to her. She practically inhaled the thing. "What're you doing here all by yourself, anyways?"

"Daddy's over there, talking with Mommy."

"Ah. That makes more sense. I thought I'd have to drag you home! Heh." Then, I felt a sharp blow to the side of my head. "ACK!" A bunny was latched onto my head, and was kicking me.
"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

"Pavlov! No! Bad bunny!" Divine pulled him off of me. It was her insane pet again.

"That thing wants me dead! Why can't he be more like Angel?"

"He'll stop attacking you if you talk to him, you know." I turned around to locate the pony who said that, and it was Zeph, and he had Spits with him.

"... Really? OK. Pavlov, I'd really like it if you'd stop attacking me. If it's about Divine, I'm not going to hurt her." He stared at me for a second, but then nodded. Divine giggled and started rubbing the brown patch of fur on his stomach, which he seemed to love.

"So, what're you doing here today, Kyle?" Zeph took a seat next to me. The bench was getting full, so Spits just leaned up against a tree.

"I was eating my breakfast... Lunch... I don't know. I was eating my food. Then Divine came along, and then I was assaulted by a bunny. What an interesting day." I shrugged. I've had weirder things happen.

"So, I see Divine found you. Reminds me of when I was younger and I worshiped the captain of the Wonderbolts from then." Spits smiled a bit, and I decided that it was time for me to go, before we get into the whole "reminisce with the past" thing.

"Alright, well, I'm just gonna go. See you guys later." I hopped back up, and gave everypony a wave... And Divine almost lost her arm waving back. Fans...

"... So, Pumpkin, Pound, I'm assuming you're both in school now." I'd gone back to Sugarcube Corner. The cute was too strong to withstand, I HAD to see those two again.

"Yeah! We're having a show and tell tomorrow, but we don't have anything to show." Pound hung his head dejectedly.

"We were thinking of showing Auntie Pinkie, but Mrs. Cherilee said she isn't allowed on school property anymore." I could imagine why... "Wait... What if we show you?" They both beamed at me, but then they looked at each other. "Wait... We need something for each of us..." Pumpkin grabbed my hand. "I'M SHOWING HIM!"

Pound grabbed my other hand. "NO! I AM!"

"NO! I AM!" Ow.

"I AM!" My arm...

"NO! HE'S MINE!" This is really starting to hurt...

"GIMME!" PAIN.

I yanked myself away from both of them. "HOLD IT!" They both fell flat on their flanks. "I have a human friend, you can show him AND me." They smiled like maniacs.

"What have I gotten myself into..."

(THE NEXT DAY)

"Kyle, where are these kids taking us?" Vince was following us to the school.

"Show and tell. We're more or less going to tell the class about human life and culture and stuff like that." I shrugged.

"Ah. I see... Well, this ought to be interesting." We stopped outside of the school, and Mrs. Cherilee came out, and she smiled when she saw me and Vince.

"Oh! Pumpkin and Pound brought you two for show and tell! This will be very educational for the kids. I've actually been meaning to ask you, Kyle, to come in, but I can never find you."

I stuck my hands in my pockets. "I'm sorta like a wild card. I never do the same thing every day. I'm just all over the place." She nodded, understanding what I meant.

"I was like that in college. Well! Come in, please." We walked in, and I looked over the class. I didn't recognize any of the kids, but they all smiled when they saw me. One of them was wearing a hat that looked a lot like mine. "Oh no. I think they may recognize me. Oh well, who cares. I'm gonna get the pony who made my outfit into a fashion line..." I immediately thought of Rarity. "Oh, she's in for it..."

"Children! I have two special guest speakers today, thanks to Pumpkin and Pound Cake. We have Kyle, and..." She rubbed her head trying to think of Vince's name.

"My name's Dr. Owen Vincent Brahms. Just call me Vince. So, you kids want to know about humans, right?" They all nodded. They actually seemed interested in learning. I felt like I was going to fall asleep just from being in the school building... "Well, as you can probably tell, we're bipedal, and we don't have a coat, mane, or tail."

"That's because we evolved from apes. At least, that's the theory. Nobody knows, really." I shrugged. "But, that's just how we look. When it comes to the way we live... It's completely different from here. First off, we don't have magic." The entire class gasped. "Yeah, I know, crazy, huh? We use technology to get by. We use machines to farm, to make food, and do practically anything, even predict the weather." A kid raised his hand. "Yeah?"

"What do you mean, 'predict?' Don't you mean to control it?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Nope! The weather works on its own where we're from. And different human societies don't just help each other all the time either. We have wars a LOT." Another gasp from the class. "Why, there was a war going on when I ended up here." Vince nudged me in the side, and gave me a look that said I should change the subject. "Heh... B-But enough about that. Any other questions?" Another kid raised her hand. "You?"

"Do humans have Cutie Marks?"

"No, we don't. We actually develop our talents over time, we aren't born with them. And most humans have more than one talent. However, we can get something similar to a Cutie Mark put on us by another person. They're called 'Tattoos.' it's like writing or drawing, but on skin. There's all sorts of them, too. There are just the regular ones, like skulls or flowers, and then there are ones of faces of people you love, and then there are tramp stamps-" OH CRUD.

"What's a 'tramp stamp?'" The kid looked so innocent as he said that... I almost slapped myself.

"Er... Well... You see... Uh..." I spoke out of the corner of my mouth. "Vincehelpmeouthere." He facepalmed.

"It's nothing important, lets change the subject."

I smiled, and muttered under my breath. "Bullet dodged." A kid heard me.

"What's a bullet?" D'OH!

"Ugh, it's nothing. Vince?"

"Alright, now I'm going to tell you all a wonderful tale of something I like to call, nanotechnology." Oh no...

All the kids were asleep. No, seriously. Two of them were drooling. I almost fell asleep too. Vince would NOT SHUT UP.

"... And that's how nanotechnology works. Any questio- You're all asleep. Great."

"You should have seen that coming. Mrs. Cherilee, I think we'll just- She's asleep too. Wow. Bravo, Vince. Bonne passe." Heh, I remembered a little French.

"What?"

"Vous voulez dire que vous ne parlez pas français?"

"Ugh..." I laughed a little bit.

"I'm messing with you. Ne vous inquiétez pas." Trollface.jpg. "Hey, I'm gonna head home... That was... Interesting. See you later Vince."

"Seeya man." I flew off.

Interesting day, no?

Chapter 17: Quality Time

CHAPTER 17

"Hm... What to do..." I'd been wandering around for the better part of an hour, and I couldn't find anything at all. NOTHING was happening, which was pretty strange for Ponyville. There's ALWAYS something going on. I was surprised that Pinkie didn't just pop up out of nowhere.

Wheeeere's Pinkie Pie?

What the-

HERE I AM!

PINKIE! NO! GET BACK IN YOUR UNIVERSE! How the heck did you get here anyways?

But I wanna spend time with you! And what's that thing in your lap? Oooooh... SHINY!

Pinkie, I'm only going to ask you once... Get back in your universe, or I'll make you go back. Like last time.

Awwww... Alright. Bye bye, everyone!

... The things I put up with... Now, where was I? Ah, right. Boredom.

"Maybe I could hang out with somepony for a change. I never really do that..." All of a sudden, a cyan blur appeared right in front of me, a rainbow trail following suit. "DASHIE!" I gave her a big hug.

"Hi Kyle. I was thinking we could go on a date today. I mean, we're married, and you never just hang out with me! What gives?" I facepalmed.

"Uh... I dunno. I'm just kinda oblivious like that. Sorry..." She gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Ah, it's fine. I think it's kinda cute when you're all forgetful and obli... Obilivi... Obluh..."

"Oblivious."

"Yeah. That." I chuckled a bit, and started rubbing the top of her head, and scratching behind her ears a bit. She LOVES it when I do that.

"So, what do you wanna go do? I've got nothing... Wait. Lightbulb!" I flicked my pointer finger up, mimicking those cliché "eureka" moments in the movies.

"What's up?"

"How about we go on a pranking spree... It's been FOREVER since I've thought up a good scheme."

"Oh man am I glad I married you..." She gave me a big hug, and then we were off. We started flying so that nopony would hear us scheming.

"So, who should we prank first?"

Dashie got an evil look on her face, and I loved it. "Rarity." I started laughing and almost fell right out of the sky.

"Yes! This will be done... Hehehe... And I think I have the perfect idea. She's always putting a load of time into her looks, right?"

"Right..."

"Well, what if we replace her makeup with itching powder?" We both went wide-eyed, and started laughing like maniacs. After a few minutes, it quelled down to nothing but a long-winded chuckle.

"That's genius! Where do you come up with this stuff?"

I tapped the side of my head with my finger. "C'est tout ici. It's all here. Now, let's go get some itching powder from Pinkie, and mess with some makeup."

After some questions, Pinkie happily gave me some itching powder. She didn't ask much, just what we were doing. She asked if she could come along, but I told her that Dashie and I were spending some quality time together, and Pinkie didn't want to come along anymore. She said something about "Icky lovey-dovey stuff."

"You know, Dashie, I wonder where Pinkie gets all of this stuff from."

"Just Pinkie being Pinkie." She shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess so. Alright, so here's the plan, you take the powder, I'll distract Rarity. Wait outside when I go in, and come in when I signal you." I gave Dashie the jar of itching powder, and she placed it on her back with her wing.

"How'll you distract her?"

"I dunno, I'll think of something." Dashie giggled a bit, but she nodded. I was a little worried that she might drop the jar, but it seemed balanced enough on her back.

"Hey, Rarity!" I shouted when I opened the Boutique doors. She shot into the front room, and had a happy smile on her face.

"Oh THANK YOU for coming by! I'm ever so bored! I have no work to do! Nopony is making any orders at all, and I can't think of anything at all!" She looked really distressed. I almost felt bad for wanting to prank her. Almost, but not quite there.

"Well... I'm willing to talk." I looked out the window, and Dashie was still waiting for my signal. Rarity sat down on a sofa, and I sat down next to her. "So... How're things?' I did a little wave, and right before the bell above the door jingled, I let out a really loud, and really faked, cough.

"Oh my, are you alright, darling?" She put a hoof on my back. I couldn't hear hoofsteps, so I assumed Dashie was hovering to get around. "Smart move... Why didn't I think to do that? I wouldn't have to distract Rarity... Oh well. I'll take one for the team."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Something was just caught in my throat. Pas de quoi s'inquiéter." Her eyes went wide, and a huge smile shot across her face.

"You speak Prench?!" I almost burst out laughing at that.

"Yeah. I used to speak it well, and then I forgot it all. I dunno why, but it's starting to come back to me now."

"How much more do you know about Prance? I've always loved the culture." And this was the part where I ran out of ideas. Luckily, I payed attention in World Cultures, so a lot of world history is forever etched into my brain.

"Well... I know that they, uh... Made Prench Toast?" I smiled sheepishly, but what she said next almost made me drop my jaw right there.

"I know that!" WHAT. "But, what do you know about the culture? Or maybe a little history?" OK, I lied, I can't remember ANY of that crap from school. Luckily, Dashie flew down the stairs, as I could see out of the corner of my eye, and gave me a smile and a wink before she flew out the door.

"Oh dear, um... Rarity? I think I left the water running at home. AlrightIgottagoSEEYA." I bolted out of the door. I never really liked Rarity, and being stuck in a room with her for only a minute made me feel all low and down and stuff, probably because of the high class atmosphere she carries with her.

"Oh man, this is gonna be AWESOME! Now come on, lets watch through the window!" We flew up, and watched as Rarity walked into her room, and sat down at her makeup stand, and she picked up the brush...

(Listen to this.)

"GET BACK HERE YOU TWO CRETINS!" Rarity chased us through the streets, and she was carrying a brush with her magic... And using it to scratch her face. If it weren't for the fact that I was being chased by an insane fashionesta unicorn, I would have doubled over laughing.

"Oh man, *huff* Dashie, this is *huff* hilarious!" For some reason, I was running, as Dashie just hovered along next to me. I never really like to have an unfair advantage unless the situation is serious.

"Yeah, it is! Oh, hey, she's catching up to you." She spun around and floated with her back to the ground, and her forelegs behind her head. I looked behind me, and Rarity had gained A LOT of ground.

"ACK! CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP..." I continued yelling as I tried to speed up. I leaned forward, and I started pumping my arms and legs more, and I closed my eyes from the strain.

"SLOW DOWN SO I CAN PUNISH YOU!" EEP.

"Heh. You're outrunning her now." I looked at Dashie, and she was giving me a smug look.

"You're so *huff* lucky that you're *huff* my wife..."

"Or what? You think you can take me on? Tough luck, Kyle, but I'd lay you out in ten seconds flat." She landed and started running alongside me almost effortlessly.

"You are *huff* SO SMUG. But that's *huff* why I think *huff* you're so sexy..." And then, she tripped and tumbled a bit before landing flat on her face. I stopped, and helped her up, and we immediately took shelter in a nearby alleyway. My heart felt like it was in my throat.

Thump thump, thump thump thump thump... It was beating REALLY FAST. "Uh-oh... Just calm down... Breathe..."

"Hey Kyle, you OK?" I had my hand on my chest. Apparently, I freaked Dashie out a little bit. My heart slowed down a bit, and the small sting in my chest went away.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I meant that, by the way." She smiled and gave me a kiss, and you would have seen no objections from me.

"You're sweet, you know that?"

"Yes, yes I do." I grinned like an idiot.

"And you're also so modest..." She gave me another smug look.

"You're one to talk, Dashie." She frowned, and I started laughing again, but I managed to calm down again, but when I looked at Dashie, she looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"What's wrong?"

She lifted her hoof to point to something behind me, so I turned around. I saw a VERY pissed looking Rarity standing a few inches away from me.

"... FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

Chapter 18: Breakdown

CHAPTER 18

"... UUUUUUUUUU-" Dashie shoved her hoof in my mouth to shut me up.

"Oh, you two are in a lot of trouble... Come with me, and don't try to run, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES." I cringed when her voice got low and raspy at that last part.

"Dashie..."

"Yeah Kyle?"

"Hold me." Dashie giggled a little bit, but flinched when Rarity gave her the death stare. "I know we pranked her, but SHEESH! Does she really need to be that mad? Then again, we did mess with her beauty products... Ah, I'll think of a way to get out of this... I hope... Oh man I'm screwed." I swallowed hard. I should have just run away right there, I mean, I could've outrun RARITY. But instead, I kept following her. Why? Because I'm an idiot.

The bell above the door jingled as we entered the Carousel Boutique, or, as I was calling it at the time, my grave. Rarity motioned for us to sit on the sofa that she summoned, which we did. She walked into her back room, but not before giving us an evil smile.

"Dashie. I'm honestly scared right now. Who KNOWS what she'll do to us?!" I was sweating bullets. I always look at the worst case scenario for things, and what I was looking at that moment WASN'T pretty.

"Ah, it'll be fine. It's not like she'll kill us or anything." She looked at a table nearby, which had a little flyer on it, and a flash of realization washed over her face.

"What's wrong?" She said nothing, but stood up and walked over to the flyer, and read it over. She went pale as a ghost.

"I HAVE WORK TODAY! It's supposed to be cloudy, and they need help making all of the clouds and getting them in the right spots! I have to go NOW!" Before I could protest, she shot out the door, leaving me to my fate. And right at that moment, Rarity walked out.

"Oh, she left? Well, I guess I'll just punish you twice as badly to make up for her absence." I almost passed out right there.

"... Oh fuck me sideways. WITH A BROOMSTICK... Well, will you at least tell me what you're going to do?" She snickered a bit.

"No. You just sit there, and wait." I plopped back onto the couch, and laid down on it. Rarity walked back into her workshop, so I tilted my hat over my eyes, and decided to take a nap.

"Wake up." I felt a hoof on my side, and i jumped up. Vince was there, apparently helping Rarity out.

"ACK! Woah... Vince, don't do that!" Rarity giggled, and motioned for me to follow her into her workroom. When I saw what she'd done, I felt rage seeping out of every pore in my body.

"I've beautified all of your clothes! I know you hate all this fashion stuff, but I decided that instead of just punishing you by making you a frilly costume and making you wear it all day, I decided that I'd help you out and spruce up your wardrobe!" I looked at all of my clothes. Asides from the outfit I was wearing (That saved my jacket and hat, thank goodness,) everything had designs and jewels on them. I felt my eye twitching.

"What did you do to my clothes?"

"What do you mean? I made them fabulous!" Rarity did a little pose, and I felt my anger reach it's peak.

"What the FUCK did you do to my clothes?" I was getting mad, as you can tell. I normally don't get mad that easily, but when someone messes with my stuff... And there was also the fact that I had NOTHING to wear except the outfit I was in.

"I... I just-"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY CLOTHES?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR NOW! YOU'VE RUINED ALL OF MY CLOTHES!" My fists were clenched, and I was trembling. Rarity took a step towards me, one of her front legs raised. She looked really upset.

"Kyle, just calm down-" Vince put his hand on my shoulder, and I just swatted it away.

"Vince, I've got this." He looked a bit upset, but I just looked back at Rarity, and all my anger started flowing again. "Why did you DO THAT?! DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE DOING ME A FAVOR?!" I grabbed her sowing machine and threw it across the room, and it burst into pieces against the wall. "THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF ALL OF THIS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU PRISSY BITCH!"

"Kyle, would you just-" I spun around and gave Vince my "I'll rip out your heart and eat it" look. He didn't flinch or anything. "You know what, forget it. I'm not babysitting. You wanna freak out, go ahead." He walked out of the Boutique. I was a little mad about the babysitting part, but that just fueled my blind rage. I turned back and looked at Rarity. She was shrunken down to the ground, shaking and crying. I didn't care. I started smashing mannequins, throwing large rolls of cloth through the windows, and things of the such. The whole time, I was screaming about how I was done with all of the crap.

"KYLE! PLEASE STOP!" Twilight? I looked at the door, and I saw everypony else just staring at me. Dashie's eyes were wide as she stared at the damage I'd done. The windows were broken, there were broken bits of plaster from the mannequins all over the place, there were indents on the wall from where I threw things into it, the desk where Rarity did all of her work was in splinters, and Rarity was lying on the ground, shaking in fear, repeatedly mumbling "Don't hurt me" under her breath. I was still in rage mode, however.

"What do you want, Twilight?" The anger and bitterness was practically dripping off of my tongue. Twilight flinched a bit, but recovered quickly.

"You can't do something like this! We almost called the Royal Guards! You're lucky that we saw it was you, but... Why?" I pointed to all of the clothes that were now on the floor, some of them were torn and unrecognizable. Twilight noticed that they were mine, and that Rarity had "improved" them. "So you're going completely insane over THIS?" I didn't say anything. The truth was that I wasn't mad about that. That was just the last thing that made the lid on the bottle I had all my anger in blast off. I wasn't freaking just out over stuff in Equestria, no. This was also events from Earth that I was remembering, and it was causing me so much distress, that I just shoved it away, hoping I could just ignore it. I was constantly feeling guilty over leaving Rose behind when I came to Equestria, even though I had no control over that, and I also felt guilty for nearly killing Hoops a number of times, even if he seemed to deserve it. I would go on, but the list of regrets and horrible events is just too long. "Well?"

"Well what? What do you want me to say?"

"Maybe that you're sorry?" I looked at Rarity, then back to Twilight.

"No."

Everypony's jaws hit the floor. "WHAT?" The combination of all of their voices was like sitting right next to a speaker that was maxed out while listening to some metal. Dashie stepped forward and just stared at me.

"How could you do all of this to Rarity? I mean, I know that she's snobby sometimes, but this is a bit much! Don't expect me to let you in the house unless you apologize." That did it. I jumped out a broken window, and sprinted down the street, tears in my eyes.

"What have I done?"

Chapter 19: Hatred

CHAPTER 19

Yeah, I've slowly written this over the course of two days, even though I'm going through a lot right now. But, I managed to write this, so enjoy it.

I ran.

That was all I could think to do. I was feeling an enormous wash of emotion. Pain, anger, guilt, sorrow... If it was a bad feeling, I was feeling it at that moment. For seventeen years, I'd been bottling all of my negative emotions up, and they finally came blasting out, and I took it out on one of my friends.

"Friends... Can I really call them that anymore, after doing all of that? I can't believe myself... I hate myself..." I stopped in front of a shop window, and I stared at myself. I looked... Different. Darker. Grey. I thought that sounded familiar, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

I didn't love anything anymore. I hated everything. Everywhere I looked, I felt a deep, burning hatred. I didn't understand why, so I just decided to roll with it.

"Why did I even think it was a good idea to stay here? They all hate me, and I hate them back..." I know I sound like I was being stupid, but hear me out. "Maybe I should just run off somewhere else..."

"Yes... Leave them all... They hate you..." Some voice in my head was telling me what to do.

"... Well, I guess it's best I just leave... And I know where I'm going." I headed off for the mountains.

I was in the same cave where I'd smashed the transmitter crystal Torrentican had set up. It felt like a distant, fading memory. My head was clouded with anger.

"I hate everything... I don't see why I cared about any of it in the first place. It's all so... Ugh. I can't even explain it..."

"You don't need to explain anything. You don't need anything but hatred now." I nodded my head in agreement to the painfully familiar voice, and leaned back a bit.

"Ah' think Ah' saw 'im go in here!" Applejack. Of course, I can't just wallow in my hatred alone. I hid behind a large chunk of rocks, listening to the approaching hoofsteps. I was hoping they hadn't seen me.

"Let me use a locator spell. I can pick up on the magic that's inside of him." Crap. I just HAD to be an Element. I peeked out from behind the rock, and saw that they weren't paying attention, so I hovered a bit, and snuck out of the cave...

"Wait... He's outside! How didn't we..." Twilight stopped, knowing that I was avoiding them.

"Ah' don't get it. Why's he runnin' from us? We didn't do nothin' to 'im!"

"I think he's just freaked out from all the stress he's under. We just need to talk to him." Twilight sounded determined. I scowled in disgust. I hovered down the side of the mountain, and looked up at the sky. I saw a rainbow streak fly by.

"Crap." I cut off into the Forest, hoping that she hadn't seen me. "Why can't I just be left alone..?"

"They just want to insult you... To laugh at you... They can't stand you..."

"Yeah... Yeah! They don't care about me! I bet they just wanna rub this whole mess in my face and say it's all my fault. It's THEIR faults!" I spat on the ground, and my frown went even lower. I can't explain the hate that was flowing through me, it was unimaginable. "Now where do I go...?" I looked along the mountains dotting the landscape ahead of me, and my eyes landed on Canterlot. "Large population, large city, loads of places to look..."

(Third Person)

"UGH! I can't believe he said that!" Twilight slammed one hoof down on the ground in anger.

"He... He had to have a reason... Right?" Fluttershy was on the verge of tears after hearing what Kyle had said to Twilight.

"Didn'tcha say he looked a bit... Different? What'd Ya' mean by that?" Applejack raised her eyebrow and tilted her head a bit.

"Who cares?" Twilight looked like she was going to have a mental breakdown. "He doesn't, that's for sure! He said he hates us, and he flipped out like that on Rarity... Where is she, anyways?"

"She said she was gonna go to the spa and relax a little after all of this." Rainbow Dash seemed amazingly calm, despite the circumstances.

"Why are you so calm?! He's your husband for crying out loud!"

"Twilight, don't you think I know that? I know him better than any of you. He would never do all of this unless something was really getting to him... Or unless something is causing him to do all of this. You said he looked grey or something? Remember when Discord messed with all of our heads?" Everypony's expressions changed to a look of sudden realization.

"That explains why he's acting so hateful... But why did he flip out on Rarity?"

"I believe I can answer that question." Everypony looked at the doorway, where Sean was now standing.

"Sean! When did you-"

"I've been standing here almost the whole time. I know why Kyle lost it. He exploded."

"He... Exploded?" Twilight looked confused, because she was.

"Yeah. He's been bottling up all of his emotions for his entire life, and they all came rushing out on Rarity. I guess she's just the one who yanked off the cork. He must've felt so guilty about it, that he ended up losing it completely."

"So whadda we do? We can't just sit by and wait until he comes to his senses! I'm gonna go find him and-" Applejack bit Rainbow Dash's tail, and pulled her down to the ground.

"And what? Rainbow, Ah' hate t' say it, but Ah' don't think no regular talkin' 's gonna help 'im any."

"I think it might, but we all need to be there." Sean motioned for them all to follow him.

"But where exactly is 'there?'"

"Canterlot, Twilight. Just think: Loads of ponies, a huge city, and a load of places we'll have to look. He'll think of that too, I know it. Now come on!" Everypony nodded, and followed Sean out the door.

(First Person)

"Ugh... I hate how similar everything looks here. I can't tell what street I'm on!" I kept on walking through Canterlot, shoving every pony that got in my way out of it. I wasn't going anywhere, I was just trying to confuse Twilight and anypony else who may have been following me.

"Excuse me... Sir. You're being quite rude." A posh looking Pony gave me a smug, yet dirty look. I must've shoved him out of the way. I slapped off the monocle he was wearing, and gave him a dirty look.

"Piss off, you waste of space. I'm in no mood to deal with rich pricks like you." He stared at me, and I just turned and walked away. "These ponies... I swear. One of these days, I'm just gonna lose it." I kept shoving my way through the streets, but decided to stop in at a coffee shop to get something to drink. I took a seat at a table in the back corner of the shop.

"Kyle?" Wow, that voice sounds familiar. I turned around and saw a white unicorn with green eyes, and a pink and purple mane. "It's me, Sweetie Belle. I'm so glad to see you! It's been, what, five years? I heard you where back in Ponyville, but I've been here, singing at concerts for the week. I even got my Cutie Mark!" She turned sideways and showed off her mark, a blue songbird, with musical notes coming out of its beak.

"Yeah yeah yeah..." I waved my hand, and turned back around to my drink.

"K-Kyle... What's wrong?" She sounded hurt.

"Nothing. Just leave me alone." I heard a few sniffles, but Sweetie Belle just said "OK" and I heard her hooftsteps gradually get quieter, and then I heard the door to the shop open and close. I felt a flash of guilt, but it was almost instantly snuffed out by the burning hatred in my heart... But I started crying. I didn't know why at the time, but the tears just kept rolling down my cheeks, and they wouldn't stop.

I felt dead. Dead to the world.

Chapter 20: Remorse

CHAPTER 20

(Third Person)

Scootaloo sat in Sugarcube Corner. She was waiting for Sweetie Belle, who'd sent word that she was coming back to town soon. Scootaloo nervously ate her cupcake, unsure of how to tell Sweetie about everything that's been going on. Kyle's return, and her new relationship. She didn't know what her friend's thoughts were on fillyfoolers, and she was afraid to find out.

"Oh man... I gotta stop freaking out, it'll be fine..."

Then, the bell above the door jingled. Scootaloo looked to see who it was, and smiled when she saw it was none other that Sweetie Belle. Sweetie sat down with Scootaloo, and smiled half-heartedly, and Scootaloo immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"You OK, Sweetie Belle? What's bugging you?"

"I... I saw Kyle a few hours ago..." Sweetie teared up, and Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow.

"That's... A good thing though. He's back! Why're you crying?"

"He told me to leave him alone... He acted like he didn't even care that he got to see me again. What's wrong with him?" Scootaloo was shocked. She put a hoof on her chin, and tried to think.

"Dad would never do that... Would he? He loves everypony! What the hay happened?" Scootaloo knew something was VERY wrong, and she knew that she had to do something about it.

"Sweetie Belle, lets go get Apple Bloom. We're going to find my dad."

(First Person)

"Why am I crying? I don't need them. I can live by myself, like I always used to want to. I don't need friends, I have myself." I felt memories try to resurface, but some force in my head shoved them back down.

I was still in Canterlot, and I hadn't been discovered, which made me... Even angrier, for some reason. Nothing could make me happy, and every time I thought about Sweetie Belle, I felt a pain in my heart. I knew this feeling well.

Guilt.

The feeling you get when you've done something you know you shouldn't have done. I knew that what I did to Sweetie Belle was wrong, and it was eating me alive. But something deep inside me kept covering up that pain with rage.

"I don't want to feel this angry... It's not right."

"Oh, but it is, Kyle. The anger is like fuel. Without it, how would you keep going? It may not seem that way to you, but it is a mighty and powerful thing. Hold onto it, and never let it go."

"... I guess you're right... What are you, anyways?" For some reason, I couldn't trust this voice in my head.

"I am your subconscious." I nodded in understanding. It made sense to me. I smiled a bit, but it wasn't a regular smile: It was a twisted, corrupt smile. A smile laced with anger and hate. I felt some sick gratefulness that my ex-friends hadn't found me. I was disgusted of myself, but felt pleased with my evasion at the same time. I was so busy trying to quell the confliction, that I didn't notice Twilight rounding the corner.

"KYLE!"

"Ah, fuck..." I sighed, and all of my "friends" surrounded me, and bombarded me with questions. I couldn't even understand any of them. Twilight raised her hoof to silence them.

"Listen, Kyle. We know what's wrong. You need to come back to Ponyville with us!" Her eyes were quivering, and tears were welling up in them. Sean grabbed me by both of the shoulders and shook me slightly as he spoke.

"You need to snap out of it, man! Look at what you're doing to everypony!" He gestured to the girls, who were all either crying, or were about to. Rainbow Dash just stared at me sullenly, unsure of what to do. "We all care about you. We don't hate you, and you don't hate us. You're just confused. We just want to help you! You may think we don't understand what you're going through, but we've all lost our Elements at one point or another. We can get you back to your old self: You just need to come with us." He gave me a little smile, and I felt my anger starting to flow through me.

(Listen to this.)

"You think this is just about me losing my element? Do you have any idea what's going on in my head? I feel so guilty... All of the things I've done in my life... I've caused so much pain... So much misery... I can't stand myself. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm staring at some lowlife, not myself. Sean, you should know. I told you about Rose..." His eyes widened a bit. "I never got to say I was sorry. I never got to say goodbye. I'm not the great person that you guys think I am. I'm just some crazy bastard who just happens to do some good shit every once in a while. All those things I did to Hoops and his friends... I know he's an asshole, but he didn't deserve any of that. And worst of all: When I left you guys. I caused you so much pain... Five years. Five long, insufferable years you spent, trying to find a way to bring me back, and then I just pop up out of nowhere, and expect things to go back to normal. I'm just a sick fuck who got lucky. I don't belong here. I don't even deserve to be here. I'm sorry for everything I've caused to happen. If it weren't for me, you would all just have normal lives. I should have just found a way back to Earth, and acted like none of this ever happened... I'm sorry." I looked at myself in a shop window. My colors had faded even more, and I was completely gray all over, not just tinted. Everyone was staring at me, and they were all crying. I knew it was my fault they were so upset. Rainbow Dash walked up to me, and looked up at me, staring me straight in the eyes.

"You listen to me, Kyle. You haven't caused us any pain. I know all this mushy stuff sounds weird, coming from me, but we all love you. We love you more than you can imagine. Sure, you've done some bad things, but who hasn't? You've done a load of good things too. You've brought us much more happiness than you have sadness. Even if things get a bit dramatic, you can't just blame yourself for everything. You're a good person, and we all see that. When we look at you, we don't see just another lowlife: We see a kind, wonderful, and caring person. You've done so much in your time here. You've brought me something that I never thought I would have. A family. I thought I just wanted to join The Wonderbolts, and I would've been happy forever, but I was wrong. I'm happier with you and Scoots than I ever could have been in some team. And you make all of Equestria happy with your music. We hate to see you like this... You being like this has made us more upset than anything else... I don't have anything else to say." She gave me a slow kiss on the cheek, and backed off. I stood there, tears running down my face. I didn't know what to say. I looked over all of my friends.

"What am I doing? I can't just keep beating myself up like this..." Then, the voice came back.

"They're lying! You're better than them, and you can prove it-" He was cut off. I stood there, confused for a second, until Sean put his hand on my shoulder again, and gave me a thumbs up.

"... I'm sorry. I can't believe I did all of this... I just... I don't know what to do..." Sean tightened his grip a bit.

"Just move past this. You can't dwell on the past, Kyle. That's the single worst thing you could do. I've done things I regret, and I've lost a lot of things I care about." He paused for a moment, and took a deep breath. "But you can't let that consume you. You have to move on, and just keep on living." He smiled again, and then he looked surprised. He looked down the street, and his smile widened. "Well, look who it is."

"DAD!" Scoots landed next to me, and I ruffled her hair, a sad smile on my face.

"What's goin' on with Ya', Kyle? Ya' messed up in th' head 'r somethin'?"

"Hey there, kiddo. Hi Apple Bloom... Sweetie Belle." Sweetie almost cried when she saw me.

"Why were you so mean to me? I thought you would be happy to see me again..." I kneeled down, and yanked her into a hug. My crying became audible.

"I... I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just confused, Sweetie. I'd never do that to you. I'm so happy to see you again. I've missed you. I hope you can forgive me..." She hugged me back, and I could tell she was crying.

"I-I f-forgive you..." I tightened my grasp on her, and started crying even louder, but it wasn't a sad cry anymore. It was a happy cry. I felt wonderful knowing that all of my closest and dearest friends and family were willing to forgive me. I just sat there, hugging Sweetie, rocking back and forth on the ground.

(Stop the music)

After a few minutes, I let go, and I stood up, wiping my face off on my jacket sleeve. When I looked at everyone, they had huge smiles on their faces.

"What?"

Pinkie bounced up and down around me. "Look at your clothes! They're all pretty and colorful again!" I looked at the sleeve I'd wiped my face on, and sure enough, it was dark brown, not gray. I noticed that all of my anger had dissipated, and all I felt was happiness.

"Everyone... I think I'm ready to go home." I smiled, and they all nodded. We all started the long walk back to Ponyville together.

As friends.

Chapter 21: The Vault

CHAPTER 21

"So... I'm assuming that voice in my head was Torrie, then." After we'd arrived back in Ponyville, the girls had broken off from our group, and headed to their respective homes. I insisted that I help Rarity fix up her store, but she said that I'd been through enough already. Sean and I just kept on walking, Sean being the one leading.

"Yeah. The same thing happened to me when I lost Hope. Don't worry man, none of us are mad at you. You just lost your way, is all." He gave me a big smile, but I still felt horrible.

"I know, but what I did was just wrong. I shouldn't have gone off on Rarity like that. I mean, I never really liked her, and sometimes she would act a bit stuck up, sure. But she didn't deserve what I did. I'm still questioning whether I deserve friends like you all or not..." I felt myself starting to choke up, and remembered what I had said about myself.

"I've caused so much pain... So much misery..."

"I'm just some crazy bastard who just happens to do some good shit every once in a while."

"I caused you so much pain..."

"Five years. Five long, insufferable years you spent, trying to find a way to bring me back..."

"I'm just a sick fuck who got lucky."

"Kyle, you OK?" I shook my head and snapped out of my trance. Sean had a concerned look on his face. "Dude, you're crying." I wiped my face, and sure enough, there were tears on my sleeve.

"I'm fine... What was it you were saying?"

"Well, come inside, I wanna show you something." Inside? I looked right in front of me. When did that house get there? "Oh, right. Sean wanted to show me something."

"Alright. What is it?"

"It's a surprise." He grinned like an idiot, and I cocked my eyebrow, but didn't press the matter. We stepped inside, and it was as I remembered it. He led me to a door that was under his stairs, and we went down a large, winding staircase, and at the bottom, there was a REALLY long hallway, with a small white square at the end. I felt a slight pain in my chest.

"Please don't tell me we have to walk that entire way..." I groaned, and he cocked his eyebrow.

"Dude. You've done some MUCH MORE exerting things than this walk. What's the big deal?" The pain in my chest got a little worse, and I gingerly put my hand on it. "What's wrong? The same thing happened to you at the party..."

"I have arrhythmia. You know, really bad heart condition, causes an irregular heartbeat. Too much physical activity or a hard enough blow to the chest'll make me have a heart attack."

"How come it hasn't acted up until now? What about all the physical stuff you've done up to this point?" He looked really worried now.

"Relax... I was first made aware of it when I was fifteen. I excersised a bit every day, and slowly made my heart stronger. Then I came here... And all the stuff I've done has made my heart even stronger. It'll still act up every once in a while, but nowhere near as much as it used to back when I was first diagnosed. Heck, this is only the second time it's popped up in a little over a year. It'll pass. Alright then... The surprise?"

"OK... Well, we just gotta take this walk, but are you sure you're up to it?" He still looked a bit concerned.

"I'm fine. Alright then." I started walking. "Onwards and upwards, ALLONS-Y!"

"FINALLY! So... Tired..." I slumped down against the wall next to two GIANT white doors. They were around the size of aircraft hangar doors. The hangars that hold the passenger planes. Yeah. That big. I looked at Sean, who was looking up at the doors like he was ready to have a conversation with them.

"I am the Eternal Traveler of Good. May the stars in the skies watch over all, may the sun give us light, and may the moon give us beauty and mystery." Scratch that, he IS having a conversation with them. But before I can even call him crazy, a bunch of runes that were on the door moved around to take the shape of a long face with a beard that reminded me of my great, great grandfather, whom I've seen in pictures.

"What is your greatest physical fear?" The face spoke with a deep voice that echoed a lot.

"Bears..." He shuddered a bit.

"Indeed. What is the name of the hero that taught you some of your greatest lessons?"

"Mario!" I had to stifle a laugh.

"Very good. Would you sacrifice yourself to save any other person's life, no matter who they are?" Sean paused for a moment, and looked at me. He smiled broadly, and looked back at the doors.

"Yes."

The face simply nodded, and then fell apart. I heard a loud cracking noise as the doors opened, a blinding white light pouring out. I got up, and moved to Sean's side.

"So... This is your vault..." It was a clean, white color all over, and there were pedestals with all sorts of different things sitting in them sitting around the place, and various buildings. "Nice."

"Wait, that's it? No gasp? No shock? Nothing?" I shook my head, my nonchalant expression not changing at all. Sean just dropped his jaw. "How are you so chill about this?"

"Because I've seen this stuff in movies and video games. And I've spent time around Pinkie, dude. NOTHING shocks me anymore." He nodded in understanding, but I could see a glimmer of disbelief in his eyes.

"So, what do you wanna see first? We've got the library, the animal pens..."

"I wanna see the library first. I like reading. I actually used to write a bit back on Earth."

"Really? Hm. Well, come on then." When we reached the bookshelves, Sean snapped his fingers, and a large, flat, silver screen appeared, with a pixelated smiley face. "Hey, Ivy."

"Ivy... Lemme guess, she holds all of the archive data and stuff like that, and helps to keep the library organized."

"How do you know all of this stuff?"

"I'm good at guessing."

He shrugged, and looked back to Ivy. "Ivy, add Kyle Alexander Bucy, Human, to the list of things allowed to access the library."

"Added. Apply the usual restrictions?"

"You know it, Ivy." I took this as a sign that I was allowed to start looking at books, and skimmed the shelves. Nothing really piqued my interest though. I thought I even saw that crazy man-eating book from Harry Potter. As I skimmed through, I noticed one of those yellow envelopes that businesses use, and it was labled "DL-6." I realized what it was, and kept it with me, hoping that I'd be able to take it with me.

"Hey, do you have any suggestions, Sean?" I went back to skimming shelves, until Sean tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a book. "The complete guide to gaming. Sweet."

"I see you got the DL-6 case files. You can take those too, if you want." I smiled, and slipped the envelope into my jacket. I skimmed through the pages of the book a bit, and noted a few good looking spots in the it, and then slid it in my jacket. "So, what next?"

"You seem really chill about all of this. I mean, look around you! Look at all of these books! Aren't you amazed at the amount of books or something? And you found the DL-6 case files!" I shrugged, and put my left hand in my pocket.

"I'm just being really chill about all of this. This is all pretty darn cool though." I stepped out of the library, and looked around at everything, and my eyes landed on what looked like where he kept the animals. "Can I see the animals next?"

"Sure. They're not real animals though, I don't spend nearly enough time down here to take care of them all. No, I had a system of magical holograms set up by Slim to simulate any animal I've encountered."

"Slim? A cowboy?" Sean chuckled, and put his two index fingers in the corners of his mouth, and whistled.

"HEY! SLIM! COME HERE! I'VE GOT SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO MEET!" I heard some clanking metal, and then a thin looking robot with no face at all and a cowboy hat came up to me, and extended his hand, which I shook. "This is Slim. Slim, meet Kyle. Slim used to work on a radioactive dude ranch, until he got the wrong end of a bull's hooves. I found him on a scrap heap, and got some help in fixing him from the Lone Wanderer."

"THE Lone Wanderer? I LOVED Fallout 3! Of course, I'm a FO 1-2 man myself..." We both chuckled a bit. "So, what animals can you show me? Any animal at all?"

"Yep. Anything I've encountered, and that's a WHOLE LOT." I hooked my pointer finger on my chin, and looked off out of the corner of my eyes, and started tapping my foot. "What do I wanna see...?" Then, I snapped my fingers together, which made Sean jump a bit.

"I'd like to see a Windigo. But not an Equestria Windigo, a D&D Windigo." Suddenly I saw a Windigo circling above us. I stared at it, and it stared back at me, as if it were a real creature.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah..." Suddenly, it made a dive for me. "AH!" I threw myself to the ground, and slammed down hard on my chest. I felt a pain surge through my chest, and I rolled over on my back, and clutched at my heart.

"Woah, are you alright, man?" He helped me up, but I still had to lean on a wall for a second until the pain went away, and I was sure my heart was beating normally.

*Thump-Thump*

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine. That was just a stupid idea on my part..." Suddenly, the pain returned, but it was much, much worse. As if someone had driven a red hot dagger right through my chest. I tried to make a sound, but nothing came out. I couldn't move, and if I tried, I felt intense pain in whatever I was trying to move.

*Thump Thump Thump Thump*

"Uh... Kyle?" Sean waved his hand in front of my face, and my vision began to shake. "Come on man, you're scaring me."

*Thump Thump Thump...* And then it stopped.

The intense beating in my chest was replaced with stillness, and my vision replaced with darkness.

Chapter 22: Lunar Dreams

CHAPTER 22

(Third Person)

"I can't believe it... He had a heart attack?" Dashie was pacing back and forth in Kyle's hospital room, worried sick.

"Yeah." Sean leaned back against a wall. " He has arrhythmia. He never told you that?" Twilight cocked her eyebrow. Dashie puffed out her cheeks in anger.

"No, he didn't! Why would he keep something like that away from me?! I'm his wife!" Dashie was... Well, you can tell that she was mad.

"Well, maybe he didn't want you to worry. I mean, he loves you, so why would he tell you something that hadn't effected him for a while? He didn't want to trouble you." Sean pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on, and looked Kyle over. "Still, I wish he would have been a bit more careful. He knew that Windigo was a hologram..." He'd told everypony about showing Kyle the vault. "With how chill he was being, I didn't expect him to throw himself to the ground like that. I'm sure he'll be alright, though. He's pulled through worse." Everypony nodded, and then Nurse Redheart walked in.

"Excuse me, but you all need to leave, visiting hours are almost over."

(First Person)

"Well... Fuck." Everypony left the hospital room, and Nurse Redheart pulled the curtains around my bed shut. "I guess it's high-time I rest... How am I not resting now? Is it because I'm semi-conscious? Whatever..." I saw my already dim view of the world around me fade to black, and I went to actual sleep. I felt a familiar falling sensation, and next thing I knew, I was in the Lunar Dream, the name I'd given the dreams I had where Luna spoke to me.

"Hello, Kyle. It's bit a while. Hey, that rhymes." She giggled a bit, and I cracked her a grin. She noticed how pale and sickly I looked, and her grin faded into a look of worry. "What happened?"

"I had a heart attack." She put a hoof over her mouth in shock. "Yeah, this is the third one I've had in my entire life. The first one wasn't as severe, and it was caused by stress. The second one was caused from being hit in the chest, as was this one. I threw myself to the ground, and due to a simulated image, no less. If there's one thing this ordeal proves, it's that I'm an idiot." Luna shook her head.

"No you are not. You're quite intelligent, from what I can tell. You're just brash, and you act on instinct most of the time." I nodded in agreement.

"Yep. That's the truth... It's funny. All of my friends were there... It reminds me of when I had my second heart attack." Luna cocked her eyebrow, and saw what memory was rising from the depths of my mind.

"Ah... Rose Shannon. You think quite highly of her, don't you?" I smiled, and blushed a bit.

"Uh... It's a bit more complicated than that. You see, she and I were boyfriend and girlfriend before I came here. But, I decided that since I couldn't go back home, I had to forget about my past... And that plan clearly failed. I have Dashie now, and I'm happy with her, but I still sometimes think about what could have been." I leaned my head back a bit, and closed my eyes. "I know it's wrong that I just shoved my past away and tried to forget it. But I couldn't think of any other way that I could start a new life here, other than forgetting about the old life I had on Earth. What I wouldn't give to at least get to say I'm sorry..."

"Say you're sorry? Whatever for?"

I opened my eyes, and felt tears welling up. "For being such an insensitive jerk. You see, there was this thing I was writing back on Earth in my spare time, and I put Rose in it... And she really didn't know what to think of it, because it portrayed my true feelings for her. I actually forgot I put that in there when I showed it to her. I shouldn't have ever shown it to her... Or even put her in it, for that matter. Like I said: I'm an idiot. I know that a lot of ponies think highly of me, but they really shouldn't. Dig into my memories a bit, and look at what I did to Rarity." Luna closed her eyes, and I saw her start to grimace. When she opened her eyes, she looked at me, but her look was understanding.

"Do you think I am without guilt? Do you know about my banishment to the moon, and my descent into madness?" I nodded. "Then you must realize I did wrong to be banished." I nodded again. "I tried to bring eternal night to Equestria... Nopony appreciated my beautiful creation. At least, that's what it seemed like to me. They just slept through it. Well, this slowly began to bug me, and when I asked Tia about it, she said that the night is for signaling the end of the day, no more, no less. But she didn't, and still doesn't, understand. My night is so much more than that... It is a work of art. I work so very hard to get the alignment just right every night, and even create new stars, or be rid of old ones when I see fit, and nopony appreciates it. Well, asides from you." She smiled warmly, and I couldn't help but smile back. "You're a kind soul, unlike most other humans. I've peeked into your world from time to time, and it is quite disturbing. You most likely know of what I'm talking about." I nodded again, but before she could continue, I raised my hand up to silence her.

"I know that, Luna. But not all humans are bad. There are a lot of good ones out there, too. You've got me, and you've got Rose. I know that's not much of an example, but I assure you that not all humans are bad. Earth isn't even that bad of a place, either. You've just got to find the right place to live, is all. Honestly, it's actually a pretty nice place. There are loads of beautiful places, especially in the more northern parts of the planet. You can see an Aurora Borealis from time to time in those places, and when you add it to the already wonderful night sky there... It'd knock you right off of your hooves. But that's not the point. The point is, Earth is actually a pretty decent place, despite all of its flaws." Luna smiled at me again.

"Despite all of the horrible things people there did to you, you still speak well of them... You truly are a good soul. but you're the Element of Love, so why am I surprised?" We both laughed a bit, and Luna walked up next to me, and sat down, which I did as well. "I'm surprised of how forgiving you are towards them."

"I still resent what those people did to me, but I can't really do anything about it now, can I? So, why not forgive them?" I suddenly thought of Hoops. I know he's a dirtbag, but I couldn't help but pity him a bit. I never even once stopped to think about WHY he was being such a jerk. I felt even more guilt stack onto me.

"You are thinking of the stallion you've harmed in the past. Maybe you should try diplomacy next time he confronts you?" I nodded, and slowly slipped into deep thought.

"She's right, I'm not the worst guy in the world, but... I've done so much bad stuff in my life... I don't know what to do anymore. I've caused so much pain. Even if I've caused good, it's not worth it. I'm not good, but I'm not evil either... I guess I'm corrupted. I'm twisted..."

"I can hear all of that, you know that, right?" I snapped out of it, and looked at Luna, who had a very upset look on her face. "You can't think of yourself like that. No matter what you, or anypony else thinks, you're a wonderful person. I demand that you stop thinking so lowly of yourself. Not as a princess, but as your friend." I paused for a moment, and I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes.

"... Thanks, Luna. You're too good to me. You're right, I'm a good person... At least, to others. And I guess I need to cheer up, for everypony else."

"That's right..." Luna closed her eyes for a second, and then opened them again. "We still have plenty of time. Would you like to just stay here and talk?" She smiled warmly at me, and I gave her a hug.

"Yeah... Thanks again, Luna." I broke away from the hug, and Luna stared off into the darkness surrounding the platform of stars we stood upon.

"Please, call me Lulu." I chuckled a bit.

"Alright then... Thanks again, Lulu."

Chapter 23: Mental Intrusion

CHAPTER 23

(Third Person)

"I don't know what to do... He could die at any second, and we're stuck here doing nothing at all!" Dashie was pacing back and forth outside of the hospital, along with everyone else.

"Well, all we can do is hope. And he'll probably be fine. He's survived heart attacks before. Why should this time be any different?" Sean smiled, and Dashie stared at him for a moment.

"He's had heart attacks before?" Sean nodded, and Dashie went pale. "So even if he survives this, he could have another..." Sean kneeled down, and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, I know you're his wife, and you have every right to worry, but you really shouldn't. Kyle is a tough guy. Sure, he has his flaws, but who doesn't? He'll survive, and if he has another heart attack, it'll be another he lives through. There's no way he could just die now. I know he won't." Dashie wiped her eyes and smiled. It was silent for a few moments, until Twilight cleared her throat.

"Now that we're all straightened out... Maybe we should get home. It's getting late, and we can come back tomorrow."

Fluttershy nodded. "I need to take care of my animals. I'll see you all later." Everyone else said their respective goodbyes, and left.

(First Person)

"So... What was it like a thousand years ago?" I was still in a Lunar Dream, talking to Lulu.

"It was quite different. All ponies spoke ancient Equestrian, which is equivalent to Elizabethan English, as it is called in your memories. I do say, you know many different things about your world from it's more ancient times."

"That's not even ancient. Our world goes back billions of years." Lulu's eyes widened a bit. "Crazy, huh? But humans weren't around until WAY after the world was made. Before us, the world was inhabited with dinosaurs. Go ahead and dig up memories of those." Lulu did just that, and her eyes widened even more.

"Such violent creatures..."

"No kidding. But that's how a lot of things on Earth were, or are, or will be. That's just how it works. Like I've said, there are good things on Earth as well... Wait, I completely forgot! There's another human here. His name is Owen Vincent Brahms, but he prefers to be called Vince. He's a pretty good guy... But he's one of those scientist types. When you get him talking on a subject, he won't shut up about it. He put the entire schoolhouse in Ponville asleep." Lulu and I started laughing.

"You are quite the interesting one, Kyle. I never know what you're thinking, or what you're going to do next. And it's hard to fool me." I gave her a sly grin, and that coined me another chuckle.

"Hm... You know, I've been wondering... I have a friend named Lyra. She knows about Humans. And I don't just mean me, I mean our culture. She's been studying us... How could a regular pony know about us?" Lulu looked away from me, and I could tell she was hiding something. Time to use my silver tongue...

"Listen, Lulu, you can tell me whatever it is that you know. I won't be mad. Trust me." She looked at me, and she looked very guilty.

"Well... Humans used to live here, on Equestria. Earth... Isn't your true home." My jaw hit the ground.

"WHAT?!"

"Yes. You see, Over one thousand years ago, humans were here, advancing their technologies, living their lives... They had their quarrels, yes, but 'Tia and I defused them before they escalated into war. But then, Discord came along, and he wanted to throw everything into chaos, and take the throne of Equestria. He went after humans first. He put chaos into their hearts, and caused a war like no other. Left and right, there were bodies everywhere, human and pony alike. We had to do something, so we did. We found a world that seemed habitable, and empty, and we found yours. So we sent the remaining humans there. Apparently, human leaders had the same ideas 'Tia and I did. We did our best to wipe all traces of humans from our history, and I'm assuming humans did the same to ponies. But we must not have gotten it all, as your friend found out... And of course, some inventions of theirs were left behind, and architecture as well, which we adopted into Equestrian culture. That play we have every year on Hearth Warming Eve?" I nodded, and remembered how Lyra poked all sorts of holes into the story. "It's all made up. Every last word of it." Saw that one coming.

"So lemme get this straight: My home world is actually HERE, not Earth?" Lulu nodded.

"I understand completely if you're mad at me."

"No, Lulu. I'm so happy, I think I could jump for joy! I KNEW I had a feeling that I belonged here! I can't thank you enough for telling me this!"

Lulu blinked. "You mean... You aren't upset that most of your history is a lie?"

"Who cares? I'd rather it be a lie than this place!" I gave her a big hug.

"Kyle... Can't... Breath..." I let her go, and smiled sheepishly.

"Eh... Heh. Sorry. But seriously, thanks."

"Oh, it's no trouble at a-" Suddenly, everything went dark, and Lulu melted away from my vision.

"What the-" Then, a familiar face appeared in front of me. Black, slicked back hair, pure black eyes, pale, pasty skin, and an evil smile. "Torrie."

"Hello again, Kyle. Enjoying your little visit to the hospital? I never would have thought the Element of Love would have a weak heart. Ironic, isn't it?" He cackled like a maniac, and I tightened my fists.

"Get the hell out of my head."

"Oh, I'm so scared... What can you possibly do to get me ou-" My fist dug into his cheek, and he fell over. When he pulled himself up, I saw that I'd split his cheek open. Blood ran down his face, and he just stared at me, until he started laughing again. "Well we're just as violent as ever, aren't we? I bet you've done the same thing to your pathetic wife and worthless child!" I felt my vision start to shake, and the vein on my forehead started throbbing.

"You. Shut. Your. FUCKING. MOUTH!" I rocked him in the jaw again, and I saw a tooth go flying into the darkness we were surrounded by. But after he recovered, he started laughing again. "What the FUCK is so funny?!"

"You. You believe that you are a hero, yet you are so violent. Don't heros always try to be diplomatic before they go diving into combat? You're just a crazy bastard!" His laughter got even louder, and I almost busted a gasket right there. But I managed to calm myself down, and a crazy idea popped into my head.

"OBJECTION!" I smiled like a maniac.

"What?"

"Your claim is false! You say that heros ALWAYS try to be diplomatic, but heros are only diplomatic the first few times they encounter a repeat villain, and then they start jumping straight into combat!" I balled my fists and put them on my hips, striking a heroic pose.

"What in blazes are you going on about?"

I waggled my finger. "Tsk tsk tsk... Poor Torrie, no taste in good games. But what I'm saying is, I'm done with trying to be diplomatic with you. You're the crazy bastard here. So I'm a bit violent, so what? I'm human, I have my flaws. You're just a raging murderer, always trying to kill everyone or everything. What is it that makes you so evil, anyways? Why were you chosen to be the Traveler of Evil? Did your uncle touch you when you were little?" It was my turn to laugh like a nut, which I did. He clenched his fists, and I saw a twinkle of anger in his eyes. "Did I touch a nerve? WAIT! Maybe I was wrong... Maybe YOU touched your uncle, eh? I feel sorry for the poor man."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" He threw his arm sideways.

"HOLD IT! I may not, but that's the point! You're getting all upset, but I have no proof! What's the matter, were my claims correct? Oh Torrie, you naughty, naughty boy, you!" He was getting beyond pissed. I could practically see the fire in his eyes. "Heh, I gotcha. Well then, shouldn't you be going?"

"Oh no, Kyle, you've pushed my buttons for the last time. Now I think I'll push yours. I see that you are dear friends with Princess Luna..." My eyes widened.

"I swear, if you lay a FINGER on her, you're dead. I'll make sure of it."

"Oh, I won't have to lay a finger on her. I've already got a plan, and it'll make you regret ever crossing me." He disappeared into the darkness, leaving a wake of evil laughter.

"What's that son of a bitch planning...? Oh well, I can take whatever he throws at me." I saw the Lunar Dream begin to materialize around me again, and Lulu was still there, and she looked terrified.

"Kyle, are you OK? I couldn't get through to you. Something was blocking my mental link from reaching you."

"Torrentican is planning something... And it involves you, Lulu. But don't worry, if he tries anything with you, I'll kick his rear end, don't you worry." She smiled, and we sat back down together.

"You're quite the hero, aren't you?" I shook my head.

"No. I'm just one of the good guys."

Chapter 24: Remembering

CHAPTER 24

I know this is a bit short, but... I promise that everything will pick up in the next chapter. So just bear with me.

(Third Person)

Rainbow Dash was talking with Twilight in the Library. It had been a day since Kyle had gone to the hospital. "He's been in the hospital for a day, Twilight! Why not make that a week, or a month, or a YEAR?!" Dashie was freaking out due to the stress she was under.

"I know, Rainbow Dash, but he'll be fine! He's been through worse, after all. I'm sure he just needs time to recover." Twilight put her hoof on Dashie's shoulder. "I know that he'll pull through. You've just gotta wait, OK?"

"... He loves to keep me waiting, doesn't he?" They both laughed a bit. The mood had definitely lightened a bit.

"It sure seems like it. Now come on, lets go get the girls, and have a girls only day? It's been a while since we all hung out without any men around." Rainbow Dash nodded, and hovered out the door with Twilight.

(First Person)

"... And then he called the cops. I never found all of those chickens..." Just take a wild guess at what story I told Lulu.

"That was... Incredibly amusing." She was giggling uncontrollably, and I had to stifle my own laughter.

"Yeah... I was always getting into trouble. Until I started writing... What was it that I wrote about anyways?" I leaned my head back and tried to think, but any memory of my stories that tried to surface was shoved away by an unknown force. "Huh... I remember it being about a TV show, but..." I put my hands on my head, and ruffled my hair. "GAH! Stupid forgetfulness..." I looked at Lulu, and she looked very guilty for some reason. "What's wrong...?"

"Oh!" She quickly changed her expression to an obviously forced smile. "Nothing!" I could see right through her lie.

"Don't lie to me Lulu, please. You can tell me anything, I won't be upset or something like that. I promise." Lulu let out a long sigh, and then took a deep breath, looking me right in the eyes with a very serious expression.

"'Tia and I are the reason you can't remember." I blinked.

"What?"

"Yes. When you first fell through the rift and came here, we sense the disturbance, and we noticed that you were a human, so... We erased any prior knowledge you had of this world." I scratched the side of my head in confusion.

"Prior knowledge? How could I POSSIBLY know about this place beforehand?"

"Well... You know the television show your stories were based off of?" I nodded.

"I just can't remember the name, is all." Lulu took another deep breath.

"It was called 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.'" I felt something in my mind click, and all the memories slowly began to unfold. I remembered all of the episodes, the fan art, the fanfiction, my own stories, the few friends I managed to make due to it.

"W-Wait... But this is all... It's real! How could it be a TV show?! I... How is this possible?" I put my hands on my head and tried to gather my thoughts, but I felt myself tearing up because of this new knowledge.

"Please, Kyle, calm down! I understand that this may be stressful, but you have to listen to me!" I shook my head, and tried to ignore all of the memories flying through my head. "Now, even though this is all supposed to be fictional in your world, as you know, it's real. 'Tia and I were shocked when we first learned of the show, but we didn't think any humans would be coming back, so we let it be. When we found out about you, we were worried you would do something dangerous, but instead, we got a wonderful person. Just... Don't let this get to you, OK?" I didn't know what to think.

"If this is all a TV show, is this even actually happening? What if this is all a dream? What if I'm actually in the hospital back on Earth, in a coma or something? Wait... Dashie was one of my favorite ponies... Is that the only reason I'm so close to her? Have I just been leading her on all of this time, without my feelings being more than just love for a favorite character?" I was feeling every emotion at once. My mind and my heart were both racing, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I put a hand on the side of my head, and I felt myself swaying back and forth on my feet, until Lulu supported me with her magic.

"I think you need to rest. I haven't much more time to speak with you anyways. I'm behind on my royal duties as it is. I will speak to you soon... And don't let this get to you, OK?" I nodded my head, and she let go of me, and everything faded to darkness. I started to remember when I first watched the show, going on an all night binge watching it, becoming a writer, gaining fans that cared about me, talking and laughing with other authors on Skype, and meeting Rose because of all of it... I decided then that even if the ponies were just a TV show on Earth, they were real to me. I knew it. I wouldn't let myself go nuts just because of some little revelation. I watched all of the memories whiz by, and I felt a smile across my face. The show had been the one bright thing in my dark life. And I was living it as a reality now.

"I'm the luckiest guy ever..."

Chapter 25: Forgiven

CHAPTER 25

"So... My life is in a TV show. That's... Interesting. At least I ended up in one of the better ones. If I would have ended up in Jersey Shore..." I shuddered at the very thought. At least, my dream self shuddered, I knew that I was completely motionless in the hospital. I was still watching the memories float past, and I was taking the memories of all of the episodes I'd watched from the show, and was reliving them. It was weird, because I was there, in the episode, but I also wasn't. I was like a ghost that nopony could see. I was in the middle of "Read it and Weep." I couldn't believe how much Dashie reminded me of myself when I was in the hospital. Bored out of her mind. I chuckled a bit at her little montage of boredom.

"I still wonder why Dashie isn't my number one favorite pony... And being tied with Twilight, no less." If you're wondering why Dashie was tied with Twilight, it's because I liked how practical Twilight was about everything, and how she made sense a lot of the time. "Oh man, this is gonna make hanging out with Twilight so awkward..." I facepalmed, and decided to pay it no mind, and returned my focus to the episode.

(Third Person)
(Four Hours Later)

Everyone was in Kyle's hospital room again. Dashie was getting more and more worried by the second, but everyone else seemed calm. AJ put a reassuring hoof on Dashie's shoulder.

"Now, Y'all just calm yerself. He's gonna be fine, Ah' know it." Dashie hung her head.

"I know, it's just... I'm scared. Even if he does survive this, what if it happens again? I can't calm down, AJ. I'm just too worried..." AJ nodded, and backed off. Nobody said a word for almost ten minutes after that. They sat there, listening to the silent hum of machinery, and the heart rate monitor beeping.

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... It was totally steady. That offered some solace to everyone, but they were still worried. Sean sighed.

"I'm sorry, everypony. This is my fault... I should have known that if I showed him a more dangerous animal, something could have gone wrong..." Everypony gathered around him, and nuzzled him.

"Now Sean, don't talk like that... How could you have known he was going to have a heart attack? You couldn't have, so don't blame yourself." Twilight looked up at him, and gave him a big smile, which he couldn't help but return. He crossed his arms, and leaned his head back a bit.

"I know, Twilight... It's just... I'm worried about him, and this is kinda my fault." Twilight frowned, but didn't press him any further.

"Umm... Even though he hasn't woken up for a bit, I know that he'll be OK. From all the times I've had to help him, he seems to be in decent condition, despite his health issues." Shy smiled a bit, as did everyone else.

"Well, whenever he wakes up, I can throw him a "Glad you're OK!" party!" Pinkie started laughing and jumping all over the room.

"Pinkie, darling... Do you really think a large, stressful party would be good for his heart?" Pinkie stopped going nuts, and looked at Rarity.

"Oh, right... Sorry." Pinkie smiled sheepishly, and everyone giggled.

(First Person)

I was almost done with all of the memories, when everything faded to black, and I felt a strong falling sensation. It went on for a few seconds, until my eyes shot open, and I saw a white ceiling. I shot up in the hospital bed, and looked at everyone. Dashie, AJ, Pinkie, Twilight, Shy, Sean, and... Rarity? I was surprised, but I was too busy clutching my chest, which felt like it was on fire.

"Oh jeez this hurts... Hey everyone, how goes it?" They all stared at me as if I was nuts. Dashie started hugging me and kissing me on the cheek, spouting off a rant that was completely unintelligible, but I knew it was about her being thankful that I was OK. I hugged her back, and looked at everyone else. Everyone looked like they were extremely relieved. Dashie eventually let go of me, and I slowly got out of the bed. I started sweating a lot, and I felt like everything in my body was burning. I managed to take a step forwards, but I fell down onto all fours. "Woah... Ouch... Someone help me up?" Twilight lifted me back to my feet with her magic... And then sat me back down on the bed.

"You need to rest... You just woke up after being unconscious from having a heart attack. Do you really think you should be up and about right now?" I chuckled and shook my head, but the chuckling made my chest hurt, so I stopped.

"I'm fine... Really..." I noticed how weak my voice sounded. "Hey... Any of you got a mirror?" Rarity nodded, and her horn started to glow. A mirror popped up out of nowhere, I assumed it was a summoning spell of sorts, and levitated it to me. When I looked at myself, I looked how I felt. I was ghost white, and my eyes were really glassy, and I was still sweating. "Wow. I look like crap." I tried to get out of bed again, and that got me a lot of dirty looks. I rolled my eyes, and stood back up. But this time, I could walk, but every step made me feel like I was on fire, and my chest felt like it was going to pop like a zit.

"You're a really stubborn dude, you know that?" I shot Sean a dirty look and made my way to the door.

"Well... Lets all get going... No point in staying here, is there?" Everyone looked at each other, the worry evident on their faces, and then followed me out the door, and out of the hospital. We all said our goodbyes, and went our separate ways. I walked with Rarity.

"So, did you want to talk with me or something?" Rarity looked up at me with a forced smile, but I could see fear in her eyes. The guilt was unbearable. I dropped onto my knees, and gave her a big hug.

"I'm sorry for what I did, Rarity... I... I couldn't help it, I just went off. I'm sorry... I know you probably don't want to be my friend anymore after this, but at least tell me that you forgive me..." Rarity broke the hug, and stared me right in the eyes.

"Now I won't have any of that nonsense. You're a very nice man, Kyle. I know that what you did was more than... Uncouth, but I forgive you. Sean told us what happened, and I want to tell you that if you ever need to talk to anypony, you can come to me, or any one of the girls. We're here for you." I felt tears begin to build up in my eyes. I used to think that Rarity was just stuck-up and prissy, and I never really hung out with her much because of that. But she was really a kind pony, just... A bit too fancy at times.

"Thanks, Rarity... That makes me feel a lot better." I gave her another hug. That was one massive weight off of my shoulders, but there was still one more.

"How am I gonna deal with all of this being a cartoon?!"

Chapter 26: Stricken Back

CHAPTER 26

"OK... Cartoon... But real... You know what? I really shouldn't even be thinking about this. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for all of this... I just haven't found it yet. I guess it'll come with time. Best just to not worry about it."

"Oh, hello Kyle." I jumped a bit at the voice. It was Twilight.

"Oh... Uh... Hi, Twilight... How are you?" I put on my best fake smile.

"I'm fine. What about you? You seemed like you were lost in thought. Something wrong?" Oh, you have no idea.

"Nah, I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle, so don't worry about it." Twilight frowned at me. Oops, I guess I said the wrong thing.

"Listen, if something's wrong, I can help you. Anypony can. You've got all of us to go to if you need anything. I'm sure I have a book that could help with your problem." Do you have a copy of My Entire Life is in a Cartoon: Volume Two? I sighed, and leaned back a bit to relax.

"I'm fine, Twilight. I don't think anybody could help me anyways... Wait..." Sean. If he's been into worlds like the Fallout universe and... He knew. He knew the entire time. "Oh he's a dead man."

"Excuse me?" Twilight cocked her eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing. I've just gotta go see Sean. I'll talk to you later, Twilight." I stood up, and started cracking my knuckles. As you can tell, I wasn't in the best of moods.

"O... K then. Bye... I guess." And, I'm off.

BANG BANG BANG

"SEAN! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR! WE NEED TO TALK, NOW!" The anger really wasn't helping with the fact that I was still supposed to be in the hospital. It felt like someone punched me square in the chest. Twice. With a car.

"Alright, alright!" The door opened, and Sean stood there smiling at me, until he noticed how mad I was. "What did I do this time?" He rolled his eyes, and motioned for me to come inside. I crossed my arms, and drummed my fingers on one.

"Well, you could start by telling me why you didn't say this was all in a CARTOON!" His eyes widened a bit, but he maintained his composure otherwise.

"Wait, you didn't know...? Oh, right. I remember Celestia telling me that she had to wipe your prior knowledge. Sorry about that." I closed my eyes, and started gritting my teeth. WRONG. ANSWER.

"So... You knew not only about this whole place being a cartoon, but you knew that Celestia fucked with my head... Do you have any idea just how pissed I am right now?"

"Yes... You seem... Upset." He tilted his head a bit, and smiled even wider. You have no idea how much restraint it took to keep myself from throwing a punch.

"Now you listen here... I'm not. In. The. MOOD." My eye started twitching.

"Yeesh... Alright, sorry."

"So... How exactly do YOU get to remember, but I don't? That don't seem a mite bit fair."

"You've been hanging around Applejack too much." So. Much. Rage. I let out a long sigh. "Dude, I was allowed to remember it. Do you remember who my 'bosses' are?" I nodded. All of the Gods of Good from every dimension. "I thought you would have made the connection, really. Of COURSE I was allowed to remember! I need all the advantages I can get, and my knowledge is a big advantage. And besides, I just barely remember it, anyways." I started to calm down a bit. It made sense, really. I'm not exactly the most stable person in the world, so there's no telling what I would have done if I would have had all of my prior knowledge of My Little Pony. Sean needed his knowledge to have the upper hand on Torrie, even if he only remembered little bits about the show.

"Alright... Still, it just doesn't seem right to mess with someone's head like that. Reminds me of a certain someone we know." Sean nodded, knowing EXACTLY who I meant.

"Speaking of which, how long has it been since he got into your head?"

"A while. He said he had plans for Luna... And it really worries me. I wonder if he'll try anything beforehand..." I closed my eyes and started rubbing my chin, thinking as hard as I could as to what he would do.

"Hey, I've got another question for you." I opened my eyes, and looked at him, a bit of annoyance in my expression, but he ignored it. "Have you told ANYPONY about Torrie getting into your head?" I rubbed my chin again. I needed to shave.

"Nope. Not that I know of." His expression darkened a bit.

"Not even Dashie...?" I nodded. "So nopony has any idea that a mental attack could come at them at any time?!" I almost fell over.

"OH FU- This isn't good. No, this isn't good AT ALL. It's ALWAYS when shit starts happening! Why can't I just have ONE normal day around here?! Alright, who do you think Torrie would attack first?" Sean didn't even need to stop and think.

"Dashie. She's the most important thing in the world to you, and you're not with her right now." I felt my heart do backflips. I know he didn't mean to, but Sean made me feel really guilty by saying that.

"Alright. Lets get going then. I'll go check on Dashie and Scoots, you go check the rest of the Mane Six." I smiled after that last part. I always felt like there was a name for them, but I never could get it.

"Alright. But what're you gonna do if they get attacked?" I shrugged.

"I'll think of something. But NO-ONE touches those who I care about, unless they wanna wear their ass as a hat. Now come on! Let's get moving!" I sprinted out the door and shot off into the sky.

I almost yanked the door off of it's hinges when I walked back into my house. "Dashie? Scoots? You guys here?" It was completely quiet. I couldn't hear my footsteps, given the fact that I was walking on clouds, and it gave the whole place a very eerie atmosphere. "Anypony home?" Nothing. This was very worrying.

"I see you're searching for your family." Torrie. I felt rage shoot through me at the very sound of his voice. "Sadly, they aren't here... I'm going to have all sorts of fun, and you can't do a thing about it!"

"You son of a... You're dead. I don't care what Sean says. 'Respawn' or not, I'll kill you, and kill you, and KILL YOU!" I clenched my fists so tight that they went completely white.

"My my, so violent. Keep it up, I do love to watch you writhe and squirm. Get angry, hit something! Amuse me." If you would have looked at me at that moment, you would have seen mushroom clouds in my eyes. I didn't say anything, and instead bolted out the door and jumped off of the cloud. I had searching to do.

But the incessant evil laughter in my head made me worry.

Chapter 27: Revealing One's True Feelings

CHAPTER 26

"He is so fucking dead... I'm gonna tear his head off, and mount it on the wall..." I was running at full sprint back to Sean's house, ignoring the pain shooting through my entire body, and the burning in my chest. I knew that what I was doing wasn't exactly the safest for me in the condition I was in, but my friends and family's safety came before my own. "I'm probably going to die if we fight Torrie, but at least I'll die knowing I'm fighting for those I care about. And even if I die, they have Sean to look after them. He's a much more capable and useful person than I am... Hm... Torrie kidnapped my family, eh? Didn't he say he was going after Lulu- OH NO!" I walked into a wall. I was so lost in thought that I wasn't paying attention. But it wasn't a wall, it was a door. The door to Sean's house. I started banging it, each bang sending a wave of pain through my arm. The door swung open.

"Kyle! Calm down! Jeez!" I pushed past him and started spouting off my theory.

"We gotta get to Cantelot, PRONTO! This whole thing was just a distraction! Torrie's actually going after Luna! I don't know what he's gonna do, but I know it isn't good! We need to get moving right now and get all of the girls who aren't missing so we can beat Torrie and save everypony otherwise we're all doomed and then everything'll go wrong and-" Sean cupped his hand over my mouth.

"OK, now just calm down, and explain to me, SLOWLY, what it is that you're freaking out about." He let go, and I took a deep breath.

"Alright... I think Torrie kidnapped Dashie and Scoots." His expression darkened. "This is all just a distraction. He wants Luna. For what, I don't know, but what I DO know is that it ain't good. So we need to get it in gear, and get to Canterlot, before anything REALLY bad happens." Sean nodded, but then he looked like he'd just remembered something.

"Wait, before we go... You might need this." He reached behind his sofa, and pulled out... My golf club?

"How did you... Pinkie?" He smiled.

"Pinkie." I had a giant grin on my face.

"Alright... Lets go get the girls, and get ready to kick some ass."

After gathering up all of the girls, who were very confused, we got on the first train to Canterlot. Everypony had questioned me about my golf club, but I just told them it was an old trinket from Earth. It's funny, really. I wanted to leave my past behind, but here I was, holding something that was important to me back then. It made me feel both glad, and nostalgic. I couldn't help but reflect on everything I'd done on Earth. Shutting myself away, hardening my heart... And meeting Rose. I shook my head and tried to think of something else. "No need to feel guilty now." I felt a hoof on my shoulder, and I jolted awake with a slight yelp. Applejack pulled back a bit.

"'Ya OK, sugarcube? 'Ya seem real troubled." I shook my head, and waved my hand dismissively.

"It's nothing. I really don't wanna talk about it right now." She nodded, and trotted back over to Twilight.

"Kyle..." I cocked my eyebrow. It was Fluttershy. "Please... Be careful... Don't get yourself hurt... I don't wanna lose you... None of us do. We all love you, and we're worried..."

(Listen to this)

I felt myself go cold. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I was ready to die... But was everyone else ready for me die? I looked around the train car. All of my friends looked back at me and smiled, but looks of fear were evident on their faces. They were worried about me, and not once did I consider their feelings. It made me feel horrible, really. I was about to put my life on the line, and I didn't care what happened to me, and I never thought about what effects my death would have on everything around me. It frightened me. I was so important to so many ponies, whether they be my fans, my friends... Or my family. I gave Shy a big hug, and I felt tears start running down my cheeks.

"I... I will... I won't leave you guys. I never will." She hugged me back, and I felt a bit better. I felt more hooves wrap around me, and I opened my eyes a bit to check what it was. Everypony else had joined in on the hug. It was tugging at my heart. I knew they all cared about me... But then something else clicked in my mind: I have multiple health problems. My doctors on Earth always said I'd be lucky to make it past thirty years old. So even if I were to survive this fight... I didn't have much time left anyways, and I'd gotten close to so many ponies... I started to feel very guilty. They would be torn apart when I finally did die, whether it be from natural causes, or something else. I always had a philosophy of never getting close to anyone, but I guess I'd abandoned it ever since Rose came along.

There she is again. I guess I'll never escape my past. It's just going to keep catching up with me, no matter how far I run, and no matter where I hide.

"Kyle... What's wrong? Don't make me sing my smile song!" Pinkie had a slight authoritative tone to it, but she still sounded as light-hearted as ever. I opened my eyes again, and they stung really badly. I must have been crying very badly. When I looked at Pinkie, she cringed a bit. "Uh... What's wrong?" I closed my eyes, and let my head hang.

"I've... I've just done everything wrong. I've gotten close to you all, and I've become important to so many ponies... It was wrong of me." I heard a collection of gasps, and everyone gathered around me. Everypony had a look of confusion or sadness on their faces, whereas Sean looked like he was angry with me. Rarity took a single step forward, the worry evident in her voice.

"Whatever do you mean, Darling? Isn't making friends and becoming close to others a good thing?" I shook my head.

"In most cases, yes. But not in mine. You all know that I've got a lot of health problems, right?" Everyone nodded almost simultaneously. "Well, I've been keeping something else from all of you. All of my doctors back on Earth... They'd pre-determined my longevity. I'll be lucky to make it past thirty." Everyone's eyes widened. "I made a promise to myself a few years back. I promised I'd never get close to anyone, so I wouldn't tear them apart when I went. But then someone came along and changed all of that. I got close to her, and then I came here. She must have been crushed. She probably hates me now. And here I am, with six of the best friends in the universe, and I shouldn't have any of you. I know there's no changing anything now, but-" A magical energy forced my lips shut, and Twilight had a mixed look of anger, sorrow, and fear in her eyes.

(Stop the music)

"You listen to me, Kyle. We're your friends. Why would we be crushed if you died? We'd mourn you, yes. We'd be sad, yes. But those are signs that we all care about you! Even if your life won't be long, we'll be happy to know that we got to know you prior to it's end." I didn't know what to say. She let me go, and I just stared at everyone. They were all smiling at me, even after all of that.

"You're all too good to me..." I wiped my face off, and let out a long sigh. "Well... I guess I'm stuck with you all then." We laughed, and I started to feel a lot better. I was with those who cared about me. And I was going to rescue more of them.

It was the greatest feeling in the world.

Chapter 28: Confrontation

CHAPTER 28

The train pulled into Canterlot, and I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I ignored it. "Time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... And I'm all outta gum." I felt a giant grin creep across my face, but then Pinkie frowned a bit.

"Awwww... But I wanted some gum!" FACEPALM.

"No, Pinkie, it's- You know what? Never mind... Are we all ready?" Everything went silent.

"Um..." Twilight dug at the ground a bit.

"Well... We ain't exactly likin' the whole idea of beatin' the tar outta someone. Ah' know he's been muckin' everythin' up, but-" I put my hands on AJ's shoulders, and gave her a very serious look.

"AJ, if there's one thing humans know best, is that violence is sometimes the only answer. Duke Nukem taught me that." I saw Sean try his hardest to suppress his laughter, and everypony stared at me in confusion. "I'll explain it to you all later... Right now, we've got some evil to thwart, and ponies to save." I heard a collection of agreements, and we were off.

"If that ruffian did anything to Rainbow Dash or Scootaloo..." Rarity looked pretty darn mad, and I felt my respect for her rise a bit.

"Trust me, if he did ANYTHING to them, he's getting a club to the head." I tightened my grip on my club, and my knuckles turned white. Twilight put her hoof on my side.

"Please Kyle, just calm down... You're going to get yourself hurt again, or even worse..." She looked like she was going to cry again. I put my hand on the top of her head, and smiled at her.

"Don't worry, if anyone's getting hurt, it's Torrie. I'm gonna make him wear his rear-end as a hat, I'm gonna make darn sure of that." She didn't seem to convinced. "Oh come on, Twilight. I love you guys! I'm not gonna let myself get hurt and make you all take care of me again." I gave her a big hug, and she must've loosened up a bit, because when I let go, she seemed satisfied.

"Alright, I trust you."

"Thanks. And I know that I'm gonna be fine, because I have all of you going in there with me. I'm not going it alone like last time..." Everyone's expressions darkened, as did mine. We walked the rest of the way to the castle in silence.

(Third Person)

Torrentican waited, almost eagerly, for Kyle and his little group to show up. He had quite a few surprises for them. He looked at the two bound and gagged ponies in front of him. One was orange with a purple mane, and no Cutie Mark. The other: A cyan pegasus with a technicolor mane, and a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of a cloud as a Cutie Mark. They'd both put up a very good fight. The bite marks all up and down Torrie's arms and the slight soreness in his crotch proved that point. But, he just used a paralysis spell on them, and dragged them along with him to Canterlot to use them as hostages for the next part of his plan. Celestia was away in Zebrica on royal business, and Luna was sitting in the other room, completely under his control. "These two being my hostages will surely be enough to make that wretch surrender. And if not, I can always just rough them up a bit more..." The two pegasi already had a few marks and bruises on them from when he'd gotten bored not ten minutes ago. "And if all else fails, I have their beloved princess of the night. Surely they'll give up this time."

He has absolutely no idea how wrong he is, does he? As soon as he was done with his little talk with himself, the doors to the throne room burst open.

(First Person)

I threw the doors open, and what I saw next almost made me lose it right then and there. Torrie had Dashie and Scoots tied up and gagged. I could hear their muffled cries for help. My vision was already washed with red.

"Ah, well if it isn't my dear friends. Come in, and bow down to your new ruler." Sean took a step forward. He looked absolutely PISSED.

"Torrentican, you've gone WAY too far this time. You're gonna pay." Torrie just laughed at us.

"Oh, I'm so scared. For that little threat, I think some punishment is in order." He kicked Scoots in the stomach. I heard her yelp, and then start crying. That got me. I stepped forward, shaking all over from sheer rage.

"You... You have no idea what you just did..." He cocked his eyebrow.

"I kicked your pathetic daughter. That's what I just did." I slowly shook my head.

"No... You didn't kick just my daughter... You kicked one of the most precious things to me in this world. You just signed your own death warrant." He laughed again, and grabbed Dashie by the hair, and started yanking her around, laughing maniacally as she started to tear up and eventually cry.

"Kyle..." Twilight stepped up next to me.

"Yeah, Twilight?"

"I take back what I said before. Don't be careful, go all out on this sicko." I smiled, and nodded. I rushed forward, screaming like a maniac, with my golf club readied like a baseball bat. Torrie wasn't expecting this, and when he switched his focus to me, the club was already in contact with the side of his skull.

PING!

Torrie was hunched over, clutching the side of his head, which had blood trickling out of it. I stared at him, and I felt a threat coming on.

"So, Torrie... I can see this working in two ways. One: You get the hell out of here, and never come back, or Two: I beat the living shit out of you, and MAKE you leave. Which'll it be?" He slowly stood up, but he had a crooked smile on his face. "What is he up to...?"

"Actually, I can only see this going one way..." I cocked my eyebrow, but then he punched me... Right in the chest. I felt extreme pain all over my body, and then I felt another blow connect with my face. I stumbled backwards, and then tumbled down the stairs leading to the thrones. Torrie stood over me, staring me straight in the eyes, his insane smile still there. I looked over to my friends, who were staring in shock. Torrie hefted me up, and I could barely stand. He grabbed my right arm, stretched it out, and then...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" He slammed his elbow down on mine as hard as he could, and it bent the wrong way. But he wasn't done yet. He picked me up over his head with both arms, and threw me against the stone wall, and I left a dent from the blow. My golf club clattered to the ground next to me, and almost all of my senses shut down. All I could do was watch helplessly as all of my friends rushed in to fight Torrie off. Sean yelled something, but I don't know what it was, and then a bucket hit Torrie on the head. They all went after him at once, and the only reason all of my friends weren't gravely injured is because they had Torrie overwhelmed. There was all sorts of commotion. Pinkie doing... SOMETHING... Applejack bucking the crap out of Torrie's midsection, yelling about how he should never touch me, Fluttershy... Was tending to me. Rarity and Twilight were sending blasts of magic at Torrie, and Sean was just doing his job. I felt completely useless, but I knew that my friends were more than capable of taking him on.

Or so I thought.

Torrie's hand started to glow, and Twilight was raised into the air, and she was completely motionless. He must have paralyzed her with magic. He swung her around, slammed her into a few walls, and even used her to smack the others away from him. Eventually, he got bored with her, and threw her into one of the stone pillars holding the room up, and she smashed through it. I looked at her form on the ground. It didn't move. It didn't get up. I felt a burning rage through my entire body, and I slowly stood up, which surprised Fluttershy.

"Torrentican..." I wobbled a bit, and almost fell back over. The fight stopped, and everyone involved stared at me. I picked up my golf club with my left hand, the one that didn't have a broken arm attached to it, and stared straight into Torrie's eyes. He cringed a little under my stare. "You just made your last mistake."

I rushed into the battle, which resumed. I clubbed Torrie in the back of the knee, and he stumbled, putting his jaw right into AJ's line of kicking. I heard a satisfying CRACK as his jawline was thrown out of place. Rarity zapped him with a stun spell, and I saw his muscles convulsing. I brought my club down on his back twice, and he groaned in pain. He laid there for a moment, but he pushed himself back up on his feet, slowly.

"How much of a beating can you take?!" I smacked him in the side with the club, but he just glared at me. I felt myself become very warm, and I saw the glowing in his hand. I flew up into the air, and Torrie blasted me with a projectile spell. It hurt. Really badly. Pinkie Pie tackled him down, and I landed on the ground, and fell onto my knees, gasping for breath. Rarity picked me up with her magic, and gave me a slight nod before focusing on Torrie again. Everything was blurry, and I didn't think I could go on anymore. All of the different colored figures in front of me were moving too quickly for me to focus on them. Before I knew it, I was stumbling up the stairs to the thrones, where two other figures were lying on the ground, writhing slightly. My vision managed to focus a little bit, and I saw it was Dashie and Scoots, still tied up. I undid the gags first, and they both started muttering "thank you" over and over again as I undid the rope holding their legs together.

"Daddy..." Scoots fell into my arms, and just started sobbing. Dashie however, was brushing herself off and flexing.

"Dashie... You need to go home and rest." She looked at me like I was crazy.

"No way! That jerk is getting a piece of my mind!"

"And I'll take care of Scootaloo while you two fend him off." Fluttershy gave me a kind smile, and I nodded to her.

"OK then. Dashie, shall we?" She smiled ear-to-ear, and shot off towards Torrie, whereas I just sprinted down the stairs. And the fight was on again! Dashie grabbed Torrie by the collar of his shirt, and hefted him up into the air, and spun him around, and even let go a couple of times and just barely caught him. We were all laughing. She eventually let go of him for real, and he slammed back into the ground. It looked like it really hurt, because it most likely did. Everything started going completely crazy, and I lost track of everything that was going on. It was like being in the middle of a riot...

Then, I felt something connect with the back of my head, and I fell over, the ground rushing up to meet me, along with the darkness of unconsciousness.

I felt myself slowly coming to. When my vision had returned to me slightly, even though everything was blurry, I could make out a few other figures laying strewn about the room. They were all of my friends, alive, but unconscious, and badly hurt. Even Sean was knocked out cold. "There's no way Torrie did all of this..." My ears stopped ringing... And I heard the sound of fire. After actually looking over the room, I realized why. The tapestries and carped were torn and of fire in some spots, and there were giant holes in the walls and ceiling, and some of the pillars were destroyed. "What the hell happened?!"

My question was answered for me when a large, black pony stepped in front of me. It had blue armor on, and green, dragon-like eyes, and a flowing, blue, ethereal mane... And a horn, and wings.

"It appears you have awoken. Good, now you can experience what I'm going to put you through..." I shook my head. I didn't recognize this... Mare, I was assuming from the voice.

"Who... Who are you?" I wondered where Luna was. She wasn't among my knocked out friends.

"Why must you know? You are going to die anyways." I decided to play it smart, and use my silver tongue.

"May I at least know the name of my executioner?" She pondered this for a moment.

"I don't see why not..." She paused for a moment, and then grinned evilly. "I..."

"Am Nightmare Moon."

Chapter 29: Nightmare

CHAPTER 29

I had to force my way through writers block (AGAIN) to write this... UGH! I've been stuck in a rut lately.

I blinked, and stared at her for a moment or two. "Nightmare Moon... Why does that sound familiar- Oh no." I felt my pupils shrink to pinpricks, and I tried to inch backwards a bit, but I was sitting against a wall. "No... You... But everypony-" A dark blue aura surrounded my lips, and forced them shut.

"Oh, I know what you're thinking. That The Elements destroyed me, and that I would never be back again. Well, Torrentican has served me well, and has released me from my prison. As a reward, when I take over this miserable kingdom, he will rule alongside me." I wanted to scream out in protest, by I was completely muted by her magical grip.

"OH SHIT."

"Of course, for giving him and I so much trouble, I'm going to have fun with you first..." Her lips curled into a wicked, deranged smile. It was the smile of a murderer.

"OH SHIT."

"Now, are you going to come quietly, or am I going to have to toy with you beforehand?" She let go of my lips, and an idea hatched in my head. I put on my best expression of defeat that I could, and nodded my head. "You don't even disgrace my ears with your voice. I like that, human."

"Yeah, you keep on acting all high and mighty. I've got a plan." She led me down hallways and corridors, and the whole time she had her eyes locked on me. She knew I was going to try to escape. We kept walking for about fifteen minutes, and she let her guard down, and looked straight ahead of her. I slipped into another hallway, and went from a sneaky walk, to a quick walk, and then started running full sprint back to the throne room to help my friends. It was pretty easy to find the way bak: I followed the smell of the smoke from the little fires burning all over the place that I saw when I woke up. But of course, only a couple of minutes after my escape, I heard a booming voice spread through the whole castle.

"GET BACK HERE, HUMAN SWINE!" Wow. Classy. Of course, this made me start panicking, and just furthered my adrenaline rush, and made me run even faster. But I heard her wings beating.

"NONONONONONONON-" Before I could finish that thought, I felt myself hoisted into the air. "Oh dear..."

"YOU'RE IN FOR IT NOW. I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THIS." Crap. There goes my escape plan, in ten seconds flat.

"OK, come on Kyle, think of something... Oh if only I had a vat of grease and some chickens... And I wasn't being dragged by the collar by a deranged pony goddess that wanted me dead. Hm..." I noticed there were loads of banners everywhere that were displaying Celestia's face. Another idea hatched in my head. "Hey, Nightmare."

"That's Nightmare Moon to you, DOG." Harsh...

"Yeah... Well, all of these banners, they have Celestia's face on them, right?"

"Yes... I'm not understanding where you are going with this." She cocked her eyebrow at me. I must have piqued her interest.

"Well... What if I took them all down for you? When you take over the kingdom, you're gonna want banners of yourself, and royalty shouldn't have to do such work themselves... Right?" She put her hoof on her chin, and pondered this for a moment. And then gave me a slight smile.

"You make a good point. Get to work, and I've got my eye on you. Don't even think of trying to make an escape." I nodded, and flew up to the banners, and started untying them, one by one. As they all fell down, I noticed that Nightmare Moon was standing directly below one.

"Perfect..." I untied the last few banners, and then I got to the one above Nightmare Moon. She was so focused on me that she didn't even notice that the banner would land on her if it fell. I untied it, and as soon as it landed on her, I dashed back down the hallways, taking different routes, zipping in and out of different rooms, and things like that. I heard her shouting again, but I was too focused on getting back to my friends and helping them. But then...

SLAM!

"Hey, watch it, will ya?" I'd slammed right into Dashie- WAIT, DASHIE? I jumped at her and gave her a big hug.

"When did you wake up?! Are the others OK?"

"We all woke up about five minutes ago. We split up to look for you. I guess I found you first. Heh, I knew I would." I couldn't help but grin at that. We were up against Nightmare Moon, and Dashie is stroking her ego.

"Alright, lets get back to the throne room, and wait until everyone gathers back there." Dashie nodded, and we both flew off at top speed through the halls of Canterlot Castle, Nightmare Moon's angered shouts echoing through them the entire way.

"... And then we just hit her with our Elemental Attack, as I like to call it." Sean was going over the whole game plan with us. Scoots was even going in with us. I always thought I'd raised her right, and that just proved it. Of course, I'd protested, but Dashie said she'd be a big help, and you NEVER argue with your wife. NEVER.

"I like this idea. Lulu won't be hurt any, right?" Twilight shook her head.

"No, there's no injury involved with this spell. It just banishes Nightmare Moon to the depths of Luna's mind, and Luna will be back to normal." I felt myself frown. "What's wrong?"

"Do you really think that's all we need to do? We need to get Nightmare Moon out of Lulu's head COMPLETELY, or this could happen again." Everyone looked at me with bright eyes, like I was a genius or something. "Really? Y'all NEVER thought of that before...? UGH!" I facepalmed. "Alright... Twilight, you have a spell for this, right?"

"Yes, it's a spell used to cure split personality syndrome. We simply go into the REAL pony's mind, and fish out the alternate personality, and simply destroy it. Of course, Nightmare Moon will be a little bit harder to defeat, but in her weakened state after using the Elements, I'm sure it won't be too hard." I nodded, satisfied with our plan.

"Alright then. Let's go! ALLONS-Y!" I dashed off down the hallway, but a small voice came out from behind me.

"Wait...!" It was Fluttershy.

"Yeah? What is it, Shy?" I kneeled down in front of her.

"Um... Well... You aren't going to actually... Hurt... Nightmare Moon, are you? I mean, what if Luna feels it..." I hadn't thought of that. I had my golf club in my hands, and I guess I did look a little violent... OK, I looked like I wanted blood. Shy was looking right at the club with a worried look on her face.

"... I'll only use it for defense. I promise." She closed her eyes and smiled, slightly tilting her head. "MUST. RESIST. URGE. TO HUG."

"OK... We can get going now... I mean... Unless there's anything else we need to do..." I shook my head.

"Nope. Anyone else got anything to say?" Silence. "Good. Now then... Onwards and upwards, ALLONS-Y!"

"Shhh... There she is..." I'd lowered my tone to a whisper. I always love getting the drop on my enemies.

"How're we gonna summon The Elements stealthily?" Sean sounded very unsure of my plan, for some reason.

"Easy. I distract her while Twilight and you guys ready up. I'll think of something." Everypony facehooved, while Sean just smiled.

"Kyle, are you SURE about this?" Rarity cocked her eyebrow, and pursed her lips.

"Absolutely. It'll work, trust me..."

"Just... Be careful, Dad." Scoots looked really worried. I ruffled her hair a bit, and she let out a small giggle.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. Alright... Here goes nothing!" I jumped out from behind the wall, and threw my club to the side. "HEY! OVER HERE YA BIG LUG!" That got her attention... And she was also extremely angry. She charged at me, horn pointed right down, ready to dig out my insides. "Oh HELL no! Not again!" I jumped out of the way, and then climbed up onto her back, and hung onto the collar of her armor. "Ride em' cowboy!" She started trying to buck me off, but to no avail. I saw Twilight and the others gathered up, their Elements glowing. I needed to get over there. But then, as luck would have it, I lost my grip, and got tossed right into a wall. "Ouch..."

"So, you thought you were so smart, riding me like a common bull? Now you're REALLY in for it, you pest."

"Ohmanthinkofsomethingcomeonthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink- LIGHTBULB!" I pointed over Nightmare Moon's shoulder. "WOAH! WHAT'S THAT?!" And then, she actually looked. I still can't believe she fell for that. I jumped up and ran into position, and my ring started glowing. My vision was washed with a white glow, and then it got even brighter, presumably from the flash of light.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then, after another flash, we all fell to the floor.

"Woah... That was nuts. I'll never get used to that..." I put my hand to the side of my head, and stood up. Lulu was on the floor in front of us, unconscious. "Uh... So! What do we do now?"

Sean took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Well, we could start cleaning this mess up, and wait until Luna wakes up..."

"Ah' like that plan."

I nodded. "Me too... Now lets get to work. Cleaning this whole mess up isn't going to be easy..." We headed back off to the throne room, and I saw a glowing, yellow pair of eyes dart away from the doorway ahead. "And this isn't over yet."

Alright, sorry if this seems rushed or sloppy. Again, I forced my way through writers block to get this chapter out. I was leaning towards having Nightmare Moon torture Kyle, but I think he's been through enough, no?

Chapter 30: Wilting

CHAPTER 30

"... I really can't thank all of you enough for saving me from Nightmare Moon. Again." Lulu pawed at the ground a bit with her hoof. She looked unimaginably guilty. I put my hand on her shoulder, and I felt a smile creep across my face.

"Don't worry about it. But I promise you, next time we fight Torrie, I'm gonna rip off his head and plant it on the handle of my club, and parade it around for all to see." Lulu stared at me for a moment, but then she giggled a bit.

"Oh Kyle... You're quite the character. One minute, your a kind, gentle person, and the next, you're..." She trailed off, unable to explain me in my crazy, bloodthirsty I'll-bash-your-head-in-with-a-fairway-driver mood.

"That I am... Ouch..." My right arm dangled uselessly on my side, small surges of pain shooting through it every once in a while. "Hey, does anybody have a stick and some gauze? Oh, and some tape."

Fluttershy trotted up next to me. "I have gauze, and I'm sure you could get a stick and tape from just about anywhere, but... Why?"

"Oh, I'm gonna make a splint for my arm. I'll also need a belt or something to use as a sling-" Twilight picked me up with her magic, and started marching me towards the exit of the castle. "Woah woah woah! What're you doing?!"

"I'm taking you to the hospital, you stubborn boy, you! You want to make a splint for yourself instead of seek medical attention! What's wrong with you?! Are you nuts or something?!" Twilight was apparently upset at me for putting myself in danger all the time.

"Well, the last bit I'm not so sure about, but as for stubborn... Yeah, that works. I just don't like hospitals, since I spent so much time in them back on Earth... So much time spent on the Internet..."

"The what?" Twilight looked at me and cocked her eyebrow. I could see the curious scientist starting to show.

"It's like a virtual reality, of sorts, where people go to spend time doing all sorts of things. Work, reading, watching funny things... Heck, I used to write fanfi-" I shut up right there. "The LAST thing I need to do is tell them that they're being watched by millions of people all the time. No, this secret goes with me to the grave."

"What was that last one?" I wanted to shake my head and wave my hand, but I was locked in place by the telekinesis.

"Nothing. I was remembering something else. It was- Er... A bad memory." Twilight nodded in understanding, and focused on hauling me away to a doctor. "Uh, Twilight? Do you think you could let me go? I don't need you carrying me everywhere."

"Oh. Right... Heh, sorry." She put me down, and I took a moment to stretch all of my non-broken limbs.

"Oh, that feels good..." I cracked my neck, and then we were off. "OK then... What other questions do you have for me? I've never really told anypony about my past, have I?"

"Well, I have a few, but if you don't wanna talk about it-"

"Nah, I'm fine! Go ahead, ask away." I shoved my hand in my pocket.

"Alright... Well, how do you know how to improvise this medical stuff?"

I chuckled a bit. "Oh, that's easy. I've had to do it before. I've gone to the hospital in situations where I just couldn't fix myself. Like when I got bit by a dog, or when I had my knee collapsed. But there was one time when I broke my arm when I was twelve. It's not a good idea to go sledding down a hill covered in tree stumps... My arm caught on one of those stumps, and I felt something crack, and I fell off of my sled, started rolling down the hill. It hurt, it really did. So what I did, was I went home, and I took a rod from my basement, and I pushed the bone back into place, and put the rod on it to keep it from moving, and I used tape to hold it in place. It healed up pretty well."

"You were bit by a dog? Why?"

"I was looking for my ball that I was playing with. I was about... Eight, I think. I went into someone's backyard to get it, and they saw me, so they let their vicious dog out of the house, and it bit me right on the leg." I pointed to the upper part of my right thigh. "It tore the skin all the way down to the bone. Human bones aren't white, like most people think. They're grey." Twilight looked like she was going to be sick.

"Why was the dog vicious, though? Did it have rabies or something?"

"No. It turns out, the family beat the dog and starved it and stuff like that, so that it would become vicious and protect their home. It's sick, I know. There are sick humans back where I'm from. They're not ALL bad. It was just because I lived in a really bad place."

"That's... Awful. How could you live in a place like that?"

"Like I said, not all people are bad. There are people like me, like Vince, like Rose-" I had to stop. I saw all of my memories of her flash through my head. I started to feel guilt build up in me again. I'd left her behind, even with everything we'd been through together.

(Listen to this)

"Who's Rose?" I stopped walking, and Twilight looked up at me, her eyes full of worry. "Kyle? What's wrong?" I was completely still at first, but then I felt myself start trembling. I suddenly felt a warm wetness running down my cheeks. I was crying. I fell to my knees, and let the memories pass.

Memories.

That's all they are now. Thoughts of the past. I can't go back. I can never see her again. Even though I still have Dashie, I love Rose. I took a deep breath, and tried to explain it to Twilight the best I could.

"She was the only person who was there for me when I was alone in the world. I had nobody. My family was either living far away, or resented me. Everyone in school hated me or wanted me dead for no reason. At first, I tried to drive Rose away. I ran away from her, I avoided her, I ignored her... But she kept on coming back to me. No matter what I did, she would come back, ready for whatever I was going to throw at her. So I gave up, and let her into my life. We became fast friends. We had the same interests, and we always managed to strike up conversations with each other. Our friendship slowly strengthened, and we were always hanging out. Of course, my parents didn't approve of me dating a 'freak.' Rose only has one hand. She lost it in an accident." Twilight looked like she wanted to do something to comfort me, but she couldn't think of what. I took a deep, shakey breath, and continued.

"One day, she got a really bad fever She was admitted into the hospital, and she'd fallen into a coma-like state... I was there for her the whole time, waiting... Praying. I didn't want death to claim the only good thing left in my life. She was still conscious of the world around her, and I told her how I really felt about her. I told her that I love her. Whenever she woke up, she didn't know what to think of my feelings, so she stayed away from me. I was crushed. Destroyed. I felt dead inside. I went on automatic. Woke up automatically, went to school automatically... I wasn't actually there. She was all I could think about. One day, she finally started talking to me again... And she didn't share my feelings. I still felt a little sad, but we were friends again." I smiled a bit, thinking back to all of this was probably good for me, no matter how painful it was.

That changed the next day. After school, she came up to me, and she didn't say anything. It's what she did that told me she'd changed her mind. She kissed me, right there. No warning, nothing. It was an amazing feeling. We started dating after that, and it was wonderful. We were ridiculed, yes. We were called names, like 'The Disabled Duo' and 'Lovey-Dovey Losers' and things of the such, but we didn't care. We had each other. We didn't need them. There were times where our relationship would sour a bit, the reasons for which I don't want to talk about, but we worked through those problems... Together. But about a week before I ended up here in Equestria, we'd gotten into an argument. I don't remember what it was about, but we didn't speak for about a week... And my birthday came along. I thought that skydiving would calm my nerves and help me think a bit... And I never saw Rose again..."

The tears came at full blast, and I leaned my head back, staring into the sky. I'd come to Equestria, and tried to completely forget all of my past, but I knew I'd never forget Rose. I'd found love again, but I still loved Rose. I couldn't help but wonder what could have happened if I would have never came to Equestria. Would we still be together? Would we be married? Would we spend the rest of our lives together? Sadly, none of those questions will ever be answered. I felt a warmth wrap around my neck. Twilight was giving me a hug.

"It's alright, Kyle... Just be thankful for the time you had with her. I'm sure that she's moved on, and that you can both be happy. You have Rainbow Dash now, and you two love each other very much. From what I can tell, you still care a lot about Rose, and you have every right to. But you can't just break down like this. Me and everypony else love you, and it breaks our hearts to see you like this."

I leaned in and hugged Twilight back. The warmth of her body was very soothing. "Thanks... I don't deserve you girls, I really don't."

"Yes you do. With everything you've been through, you deserve friends." I closed my eyes, and smiled. Twilight was right. I always sell myself short, and I need to stop.

(Stop the music)

"Now come on... Lets get you to the hospital. Or even better, I could take you to Vince. He'll probably be better at fixing you up than ponies. You know those little machine things in his blood? Well, I used a spell on him, and they adapted to my magic, and they let it flow in his body, and he can harness it. I've taught him some healing spells, he'd be able to fix you right up!" I let go of Twilight, and slowly stood up, and stretched my legs out.

"Alright then... How about you teleport us? I don't think it'd be smart to walk all the way back to Ponyville." Twilight nodded, and put her hoof on my hip. Her horn began to glow, and the world around me melted away.

Chapter 31: Drinking

CHAPTER 31

When Twilight had taken me to Fluttershy's, Shy of course made me rest for a day, and it was already late in the evening by the time Vince was ready to fix my arm. I hadn't been paying attention to him the entire time, but I decided it'd probably be for the best. "... Alright, now this is gonna hurt. A lot. So... Hold still?" Vince was trying, and failing, to convince me to not be a little nervous of him messing with my arm.

"Come one, do you really think that's gonna convince- AGH!" I felt white hot pain through my arm, and watched as the bones shifted around, eventually finding the spots where they belong, and mending back together. I felt a little happy knowing I wouldn't have to go for weeks with my arm in a sling, but I was too busy biting my lip, holding back my yelps of pain. It eventually died down, and I opened my eyes, although I didn't remember closing them.

"Now, that's probably gonna feel weird for a few days, but you can use it. Just don't go getting your arm folded like a blanket again." A little grin went across his face.

"Oh hardy-har-har. Very funny. So, you can use magic now? I'm assuming it has to do with those nanowhatchamacallits in your blood." He almost facepalmed. I could tell he really wanted to.

"They're called nano machines. And yes, Twilight cast a spell on me, and they adapted to it, and now I can-" I tuned him out. I didn't feel like listening to a big sciencey explanation. Fluttershy smiled sympathetically, and motioned for the door. I nodded, and headed out.

"Now... What to do..." It was getting a little late. I decided that it would be best to just head home.

"HEY! KYLE!" Dashie was shouting my name from straight above me. Right when I looked up, she slammed right into me, and pinned me to the ground. "Heh, you need to work on your reaction time."

"Alright, you got me... So! Is there a reason you've got me pinned to the ground in the middle of the road?" She let me go, and I stood up, and brushed myself off. "Or did you just feel like domestic assault?"

She furrowed her brow a little bit. "Oh, so you don't want to take your wife drinking?"

"Wait, what?"

"Remember when you said you'd take me out drinking at the party? At Sean's place?"

I took off my hat, and scratched my head. "Yeah, I remember that. You wanna go now? I'd gladly take you. I feel like a drink anyways." She smiled ear to ear.

"It's been a while since we really spent time together." I nodded.

"Yeah, we've been out for a bit before, but we can consider tonight a date. I'd love to take you out more, but crazy stuff won't stop happening. It seems as if when I'm around, trouble follows."

Dashie trotted in a little closer to me, and leaned on me as we walked. "That may be so, but hey, it's not your fault. Besides, you always manage to deal with it." I chuckled, and scratched her behind her ears. She loved that.

"Yeah... Alright, well, the place I always go isn't too far from here. It's probably only a ten minute walk-" Dashie grabbed my hand, and bolted off. We were going so fast, everything was a blur. In only ten seconds flat, we were standing right in front of my favorite bar. "... Or we could just do that. I'm assuming you remembered it from my little breakdown..." Her expression darkened, and she nodded. "Well then... In we go." I pushed open the door for her, and followed her in. We took a seat at the bar, and the bartender recognized me.

"Well, if it isn't Kyle... And I see you brought your lady friend!" He gave Dashie a joking wink, and I had to stifle a laugh.

Tonight is going to be a long night... In a good way, of course.

(One hour later)

"*Hic*" Dashie was swaying back and forth, and one of her eyes was half-closed. "This... This is a LOT of fun... We need to *Hic* go drinking more often..." I was biting my knuckles, trying not to laugh. Dashie was ridiculously cute, and hilarious when she was drunk. "What're you laughin' at?"

"You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk! I might be a little tipsy, but..." I gave her a slight nudge on the shoulder, and she almost fell out of her stool. "Wah... That's not very nice, you know... *Hic*

"You, my fine-feathered wife, are completely drunk. Just sayin'."

"You can be really *Hic* mean sometimes, you know that, Kyle?"

"Yes, yes I do."

At this point, some pegasus stallion walks up to Dashie, and he looks like the kind of guy who you'd want to punch in the face just because of the way he looks.

"Hey there..." He looked at me for a second, and then back to Dashie. "How about you ditch your... 'Friend' over there, and come home with me tonight?" Uh-oh. Sleazeball detected. Dashie, in her drunken state, had no idea how to respond. Everypony else in the bar knew me, and they knew about my family. They were all giving the sleaze the "you're digging your own grave" look.

"Well... Uh... He... *Hic*"

"Awwww come on, babe! He's just a... Whatever he is, but I'm a good looking, well mannered, kind stallion! What's not to like about me?" It was at this point that I stood up, and stared down at him. he didn't seem scared, much to his ignorance. He took a step back, and raised his front hooves in a mock-defensive position.

"Woah, look out everypony, we're dealing with a badflank over here." I started cracking my knuckles.

"What'd you just say?" He tilted his head up slightly, and a smug grin ended up on his face.

"You heard me-" My uppercut connected with his jaw, and he almost did a backflip. He stood back up, and I saw that he'd bit his tongue, seeing as to how he spit out a glob of blood. "What the hay, man?! I'm just hitting on a girl, and you go and hit me?"

"That's my WIFE, you moron!" I pointed to Dashie's earrings, and then to my ring, which he had imprinted on his chin. He did a double take, and then shook it off.

"Ah, come on! You gotta let your wife have some variety in be-" A stool connected with his head, and he stumbled back, and bumped into a rather mean-looking stallion.

"Bub, you've messed with the wrong bar-goer." The mean stallion gave me a slight smile and nod, and started wailing on the sleaze... And next thing you know, a full-on barfight had broken out. Dashie was sitting off to the side, laughing like a maniac, while I was struggling not to get pulverized by a bunch of crazed, drunken ponies.

(Listen to this)

I had absolutely no idea what was going on, but I was having a blast. Ponies were breaking chairs over each other, glasses were flying everywhere, and I was in the middle of all of it. "Might as well have a little fun!" I picked up a glass from a table, and smashed it over the nearest pony's head, and ducked before another pony socked me in the jaw.

"Not so fast!" I grabbed his outstretched leg, and threw him into another group of brawlers. "So long!" I turned around to fight ponies on my other side, when a stool connected with my back. I stumbled a bit, and turned around to see who signed their own death warrant. It was the sleazeball.

"Not so tough now, are you?" I slowly laughed, and approached him. "What the-" I clasped my hand on his shoulder, and gave him a big smile.

"I say, you have some SERIOUS testicular fortitude to even THINK that you could get away with that." I tightened my grip, and my expression changed to a more... Crazed one.

"Umm... Can't we talk about this?" I slowly shook my head. I could have sworn I heard rusty hinges as I did so.

"Oh no, you've already made your choice."

(Pause the music)

(Meanwhile, just outside, moments before the previous scene...)

"I say, Twilight, you do have great taste in books. But what else should I expect from a librarian?" Rarity and Twilight were heading off to the Boutique to have a sleepover, after picking up a large collection of romance novels.

"Well, I've never really been the most... Outgoing of mares. I guess novels are just my escape. There aren't that many stallions around here, and some of them are gay anyways." Rarity nodded her head.

"Yes, it's a shame, really. They're missing out..." Rarity looked past Twilight, and stared into the window of the bar across the street. "Is that Kyle?" Twilight looked as well, and sure enough, Kyle was there, in the middle of a bar fight, with his hand on a stallion's shoulder.

"Oh no... What's going on now?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

(Resume the music)

Suddenly, Kyle picked the stallion up, and threw him through the bar window, and the stallion bounced out into the middle of the street.

"You LIKE THAT, you sleazeball?" Kyle walked over to him, and kneeled down next to him. "Now, what have we learned?" The "sleazeball" looked absolutely terrified.

"N-Never m-mess with mares, EVER! Please don't hurt me..." Kyle stood up, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Good... Oh, hey Rarity, hey Twilight. Lovely night we're having, huh?" The two mares stared at Kyle, and then looked to the sleazeball, who was running at full gallop down the street. They looked back to Kyle, who looked confused. "What?"

The two shook their heads, and Kyle just shrugged, and ran back into the bar, eager to get back into the fight.

(Stop the music)

"You know, Twilight, I think things are going to be like this from now on. Kyle seems to bring these kinds of situations around a lot..." Twilight nodded her head.

"I agree. You do have to give him credit for his... Vigor."

"I suppose."

Chapter 32: Father-Daughter Bonding

CHAPTER 32

THUD

"Ohhhh..." I stood up, holding the side of my head with my hand. I wasn't hungover: I'd taken a few glasses and chairs to the head in the brawl the night before. "That. Was awesome..." I looked back to the bed I'd fallen out of, where Dashie was sleeping peacefully.

"Alcohol sure gets her going..." I chuckled a bit, and threw on some clothes. "I'd spend the day with her, but... I think she'd rather spend the day in bed... What about Scoots?" I nodded in agreement with myself. I headed out of the room, and down the hallway. I looked at Scoots' door for a second. It was covered in posters of The Wonderbolts, and had a "DO NOT ENTER" sign on the middle.

"What a teenager..." Another chuckle, and then I knocked on the door. "Hey, Scoots, you up?" I heard frantic movement, and then the lock on the door came undone. Scoots had a guilty smile on her face.

"Uh... Hi dad." I ruffled her mane a bit.

"Whatever it is you're doing in there, I'm not going to press the matter. Your secret is your secret." I had the sudden hope that there weren't any drugs in Equestria. They have medicine... "Uh... Unless it's illegal, of course." Scoots' eyes widened, and she stared at me like I was crazy.

"Wait, do you mean drugs?" I nodded, and Scoots almost fell over laughing. "I'd never do that! No, it's just- Uh..." I raised a silencing hand.

"It's alright, I trust you. As long as it isn't illegal, or dangerous, I'm fine with it." As you can all tell, I'm a very chill parent. "So, how about you hang out with your old dad today?" She smiled, did a little jump.

"Sure! I've always wondered what you do for fun." Suddenly, a list appeared in my mind.

"I beat the hell out of Hoops, argue, drink... Wow, I'm such a responsible person..." I shrugged, and motioned for her to follow me. Instead of just walking with me, she hovered alongside me.

"You know, you're growing up fast." It pained me to know that I wasn't going to be around much longer to see my own daughter grow up. Thirty years of life... At best... I shook the thought off, and decided to focus on the present.

"Whaddya mean? Like, I'm getting big?" I chuckled, and shook my head.

"Well, yeah, but not just physically, but in other ways as well. You've got a marefriend, and you two go great together, and you've got so much time to spend together. It's a wonderful feeling, knowing your daughter has her special somepony." Scoots' face turned red. "Heh. I'm proud of you, you know that? Even if you don't have your Cutie Mark yet, you've still made me so proud. And on the topic of Cutie Marks... What do you think it'll be?" Scoots shrugged, closing her eyes in the process.

"Dunno. I hope it's something cool, like mom's." I let out another chuckle. Scoots still had that hero worship thing going on.

"Well, with what I know... I think your talent is stuff like rhythm, and balance. You're really good on that old scooter of yours, and you're a good dancer too. I'm thinking stuff like choreography or something." Scoots put her hoof on her chin for a moment, and a smile crept across her face.

"You know, you're probably right. How come I never thought of that... Maybe I could dance at one of Sweetie Belle's shows." We both laughed, and I had to wipe a tear out of my eye.

"Speaking of Sweetie, where is she? Is she off performing again? I never see her." Scoots frowned. I'd hit a touchy topic.

"Well, she is off on a tour again... She tries to stop by whenever she can, and we're all still friends. I'm not mad at her, it's just... Sometimes I wish things could go back to the way they were. Before Sweetie Belle was always away." I pulled Scoots into a hug, and stroked her mane a bit.

"Now come on... You can't wish away the present, or the future. I know that from experience. And plus, if everything went back to the way it was, you wouldn't be with Apple Bloom the way you are now. And like you said, Sweetie stops by whenever she can. That's dedication. You're all good friends, and nothing will ever change that. Now, enough with all this sad stuff, lets go out and do something. Allons-y!" Scoots giggled, and we raced each other to the door.

"... So then, I ended up completely turning it all around, and I won the case, and got the prosecutor arrested instead. Man did I love that..." I was telling Scoots about my days in Mock Trial in school. Winning cases, always surprising everyone with my tactics... It was fun.

"Wow. It sounds like you could think really quickly." I nodded my head,and took a sip from the drink I'd bought from Pony Joe's. Coffee always gets me going, no matter how tired I am.

"Yeah. Some of that was me getting lucky, though. I'm just glad the jury was on my side. I put on quite the show for them." Scoots put her hoof on her chin. I could see the gears turning in her head. "What's this girl up to...?" When Scoots let out a gasp from a good idea, I could have sworn a lightbulb popped up above her head.

"What if I get some of my friends together, and we put a case together?" I did a double take, and dropped my drink.

"Wait, really? Are you serious?" Scoots nodded, and I had a smile on that would make Pinkie jealous. "Scoots. I love you. So much. You know that, right?"

"I know. That's WHY I'm doing this! Besides, it'd be fun!" She held out her hoof for a hoof bump, which I did.

"Oh man, I'm finally gonna get to wear that suit Rarity made for me. That thing looks comfortable... So! How exactly are you going to set this up?" Scoots just grinned, and then got up.

"Meet me back at home in an hour. And get ready!" I nodded, and she flew off into the air.

"Well... I'd better get my pointer finger warmed up."

(One hour later)

"Wow. Dad, that's really how you looked when you were a lawyer?" I nodded my head. I had my hair slicked back, ending in spikes pointing down to the floor. I had my suit's jacket unbuttoned, and the collar of the dress shirt underneath overtop the jacket's collar.

"Yep." I shoved my left hand into my pocket. "So, where's this taking place?"

"Town hall. There's a small courtroom there. We get to use it since there's never any crime here, so they don't see the problem." I nodded.

"I like that. So, can you tell me anything about my case? Defendant, witnesses, evidence..."

"I can tell you who's playing as who." I shrugged. Something is better than nothing.

"Shoot. Anything helps."

"Well, Mayor Mare is the judge, you're the defense attorney, obviously, and Twilight is the prosecution." I did another double take, and I felt panic grip me.

"WHAT?! Oh, words cannot describe how screwed I am... She's gonna out-logic me for sure!" Scoots punched me on the shoulder playfully.

"Come on, you're Kyle Bucy: Ace Attorney! Remember?" I calmed down a bit, and chuckled at the nickname I'd been given by a kid in the stands one time in a case.

"I guess. Alright, come on let's get moving. ALLONS-Y!"

(Listen to this)

Whenever we arrived at the town hall, I was led to the defense lounge room, just outside of the courtroom itself.

"Feeling nervous, dad?" I nodded frantically.

"Yeah... It's been a couple of years since I've done this..." Scoots gave me a quick hug.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. I bet it'll all come back to you!"

"Thanks Scoots... I sure hope so." Scoots hopped off of her seat, and walked away. "Where're you going?"

"Oh, I'm the defendant. I need to go to my stand before the case starts."

"You're the defendant." I said it more like a statement than a question.

"Yep! I'll see you in there!" Scoots walked away, and I stared at the wall blankly for about a minute, until somepony tapped me on the shoulder.

"Come on, it's time to start the case." I stood up, and walked to the double doors leading to the court room. I took a deep breath, and then burst through them, and stepped up to my desk. Twilight had her determined face on, and gave me a coy smile, which I countered with a scowl. Mayor Mare cleared her throat.

"Is the prosecution ready?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

"Is the defense ready?" I cleared my throat, and took another deep breath.

(Stop the music)

"Yes, Your Honor."

Chapter 35: Worry

CHAPTER 35

"WHY ME?!"

I was crouched down in a shrub near the entrance to the Everfree. I was hoping to Luna that Sean and his posse wouldn't see me.

"I just pull a few little harmless pranks, and now I'm running for my life!"

I heard a twig snap almost right in front of me. It was Vince... And he had a bottle of pink hair dye.

"Oh Kyle~... Come on out, I'm not gonna hurt you... Much."

"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap..."

My heart started racing, and I felt a tension in my chest. Of all the lousy times...

"Just control your breathing..."

As if an answer to my prayers, Vince walked away, satisfied with his look around. I felt my heart slow to a less deadly pace.

"Too close..."

I crawled out of the shrub, and brushed myself off. I decided that hiding in a dangerous place like the Everfree would NOT hinder their search, unlike I had thought.

"I knew Sean would come out here to look for me, but as for the others... Oh, lady luck has given me such a backhand today..."

(Listen to this)

"Hey there, ya' prankster you..."

I froze. The southern voice coming from behind me was all too familiar. And it was one of the last voices I needed to hear.

"Oh... Dear... AJ?"

I heard a slight giggle. "Guilty as charged. Now, are ya' gonna come quietly, or am Ah' gonna have t' hog tie ya'?"

"Wait. AJ has a crush on me..."

I turned around, and grinned like a sleazeball. "Oh, I bet you'd like that, huh?"

Her face turned red, and she fell onto her haunches. "Wh-Wha-"

I took a step closer to her. "I bet you'd like to just tie me up and drag me home, wouldn't you, you dirty girl you?"

And thus, Applejack's face was the color of the fruit she grows. Her eyes darted around, and sweat started to drip from her face. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear...

"I can't believe you just fell for that." Next thing you know, I'm flying, weaving in-between the trees.

"HAHA! Oh MAN! The look on her face... That was worth it. Oh, it's gonna be so awkward to talk to her for a while... Well, more awkward."

Sadly, with all of my thinking, I wasn't doing much paying attention. I slammed into a large stallion, and fell right onto my rear end.

"Oh... Hey, sorry dude..." I stood up, and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, but on closer inspection...

"Wait. You're not a dude..." It was Twilight. She was still under the effects of the Gender Bender.

He... She... Er... I have no idea, smiled evilly. "Oh, that's right... You know, Kyle, I wonder what you'd look like as a woman..."

My eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "Eheh... Well... About that..."

Before I could even react, purple magic surrounded me, and I felt myself going under some rather awkward changes.

(Stop the music)

I slammed the cloud door shut, and threw myself down on the couch.

"Assholes... I pull a few little pranks on them, and they turn me into a girl and dye my hair pink! Thank Luna that dye was only temporary... I know what I'm doing to Vince next time he's asleep..." I imagined myself shaving his head, and I must say, it was a satisfying mental image. I wasn't a girl anymore, and Twilight let me wash the dye out in his/her sink. But I did have a few choice words for them before I ran off in anger.

"Now I'm in a bad mood. Great... Man, having boobs was weird..." I shook my head, trying to get the image of my reflection in the mirror after my... Change.

Luckily, I didn't have to dwell on it much longer, because the door opened and closed again. Dashie was home, and she had her saddlebags full of stuff for a party.

"Hey, babe. So, I see shopping was a good turnout."

Dashie took one look at me, and fell over laughing. I slouched a little bit, and gave her a deadpan stare. "Lemme guess, somepony told you about what happened to me."

Dashie stoop up, and wiped a tear out of her eyes. "Heh... Yeah. I just wish I could have seen it for myself... I bet you're pretty cute as a girl." She walked by me, and brushed her tail along my chin.

"... I love my life."

I let out an exaggerated cough to get Dashie's attention. "So, you need any help setting things up for Scoots' birthday party?"

She shrugged, and dumped her bags out on the dinner table. "If you want. I could set it up myself, and you could just go off and hang out with everypony."

"SIGNAL RECEIVED. She wants to spend more time with me."

"I think I'll stick around and help." Dashie looked away from me, but I saw a smile.

"Thanks. And we don't need to worry about Scoots finding out about this. She's staying over with Apple Bloom tonight."

I put my hand on my chin, thinking of all the things that could happen. "I sure hope they don't try anything..."

Dashie and I let out a little chuckle, and she gave me a reassuring smile. "I'm sure we raised her better than that. And besides, they're practically grown up now. So even if they do..."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I just don't want Scoots rushing her relationship, lest it fall apart. I do appreciate the fact that since she's dating a mare, I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant... The stress from that would kill me."

Dashie stopped what she was doing, and looked at me, with concern in her eyes. I cocked my eyebrow. "Dashie? What's wro-"

She raised a hoof to silence me. "You know what's wrong... Please don't talk about dying. Remember what you said on the train when you were heading to Canterlot?"

I stayed silent. I knew what she was talking about. I'd everypony about my shortened longevity, and they must have told Dashie.

Dashie nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "Exactly... Just... Please, don't talk about dying or anything like that. I'm terrified of losing you. Every day, I'm worried that you're going to get hurt or have a heart attack... It's horrifying, knowing that the one you love could die at any moment."

"Wow... I didn't know how much I'd worried everypony from telling them that. Me and my big mouth..."

I picked Dashie up, and hugged her, and stroked her mane. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine..."

She nuzzled the side of my neck. "We don't know that..."

I sat her down, and crouched down to stay on eye level with her. "Listen, I've lived this long without any problems. I just have to be careful, is all. Do you really think I'll let myself get hurt and be taken away from you all? I don't think so. I promise you that I won't be dying any time soon."

Dashie smiled, and wiped her eyes. "OK... Pinkie Pie Promise?"

I smiled, and rolled my eyes. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I slapped my hand over my eye. "Ow."

We both started laughing, and then looked around the half-decorated room. "Kyle... I think we'd better finish decorating."

I nodded. "Yeah."

The next hour or so passed in silence. I could feel Dashie's gaze staring at me every once in a while, and I could tell she was still very worried, but I didn't call her out on it. She was my wife, and she had every right to be scared of me dying. I didn't hold it against her, but it made me feel guilty. I never liked making anybody worry, and when I did, I felt like I was doing them wrong.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, and just kept on decorating.

Chapter 36: Scoots' Birthday

CHAPTER 36

"... And there we go! Hey, Dashie, everything in the living room is done! How're you holding up?"

I heard her chuckling, and before I knew it, she was hovering right in front of my face. "Done! Have been for the past five minutes. Hehehe..."

I chuckled at her a bit, and then flicked her on the nose. "Why am I not surprised? You are the 'Fastest in Equestria.' Self proclaimed, of course." I shot her an evil grin.

Dashie puffed out her cheeks and glared at me. "Hey!"

I stuck my tongue out at her, and went to put away all of the decorations. I looked at our handiwork. Nothing was too girly, but nothing was too boyish either. Perfect for a tomboy's birthday. I smiled when I imagined Scoots' reaction, and put the last of the decorations in the closet next to the kitchen.

"This is gonna rock! It feels good getting to give my own kid a nice birthday. My mum never threw me any birthday parties..."

I stopped myself right there. I didn't need to be thinking depressing thoughts when my own daughter's birthday is right around the corner. Dashie and I had been working since we woke up that morning. I was wondering how her sleepover with Apple Bloom went.

"They better not have done anything too crazy... Oh who am I kidding? I'd probably end up being proud of her anyways... Hmmm... Not sure if irresponsible, or supportive. Ah, whatever... Hm. Apple Bloom's coming too. I bet she'll flip when she first starts walking on clouds. Hehehe..."

Dashie nudged me in the side. I blinked, and shook my head. "Uh... Yeah, Dashie?"

"You looked like you were pretty out of it. Something on your mind?"

I chuckled a bit. "Nah, just wondering how Apple Bloom is gonna react when she sets hoof on a cloud. That's all."

Dashie giggled a bit, and then plopped down on the couch. "I'm pooped."

I sat down too. "Yeah... I'm bored now. Whaddya wanna do until Scoots gets here?"

Dashie leaned in on me a little bit, and looked up at me. "Oh, I have an idea..."

I grinned. "Here, or the bedroom?"

(One Hour Later)

I pulled my jeans back up, and buttoned them. "Well, that was fun."

Dashie rolled out of bed. "I'll say..."

And just then, I heard the door open. Good timing.

"Mom? Dad? I'm here!"

"Wow... Ah'm really walkin' on a cloud! This's amazin'!" I let out a small chuckle.

"I knew it..."

I headed down the stairs, and gave Apple Bloom a small wave, and ruffled Scoots' hair. "Happy birthday, kiddo!"

Scoots giggled, and pushed my hand away. "Dad, not in front of my marefriend..."

I let out a goofy laugh, and grinned like a complete moron. "Oh man... My little Scoots is growing up. So, when's the wedding?"

Apple Bloom blushed, and looked away, and Scoots furrowed her brow and glared at me.

"Dad~!"

Evil grin: Activated. "Hehehe... Relax, I'm just messin' with ya'! Now then... What do you want to do? Do you just want to stay here and do something, or go out?"

Scoots rubbed the back of her head, and grinned sheepishly. "Well... I was kinda hoping I could have another sleepover... Here..."

I crossed my arms, and put on my serious face. "Now young lady, I cannot allow that..." Scoots scrunched her face up in a mixture of anger and sadness. "Oh who am I kidding? Just don't go doing anything stupid, and I'm fine with it!" And, she's happy again.

"Oh, how I love to troll my own family... I'm terrible."

"So Ah' c'n stay th' night? In a cloud house?" I nodded. "Awesome!"

Dashie leaned in on my leg, and looked up at me, smiling. I rubbed her head a little bit.

Apple Bloom looked around a little bit. She looked like a lost dog. She didn't really know what to do, so I made a suggestion.

"How about you two go up to Scoots' room? Dashie and I have a bit of reading to catch up on." The Daring Do series is absolutely amazing. It really reminded me of Indiana Jones.

"I wonder if Daring is still alive... Or if she's even real, for that matter."

Scoots and Apple Bloom smiled, and ran up the stairs, both giggling like schoolgirls... Well, they are schoolgirls, so I can't blame them.

"So! Dashie, where'd you put the books?" I stood over the coffee table, and started pushing a bunch of stuff off of it, and of course, the books were strewn out across the table. "We really need to start cleaning this place more often."

"Ah, who cares? It's fine. We found 'em, didn't we?" I sat down, and grinned at her.

"Good point... Now, where was I? Ah, yes..." I mumbled under my breath as I read, not very concerned with what was going on upstairs.

"If I hear moaning up there, they're in trouble. Well, as long as they keep it down..."

(A Few Hours Later)

I closed the book, and rubbed my eyes.

"Hours of non-stop reading... Oh me eyes... Why did I think that would be a good idea?"

I looked over at Dashie, and she was sound asleep.

"Why did I see that coming?"

I looked at the clock on the stand next to me. 10:32pm. It was getting a little late.

"I guess I should say goodnight to the girls. I hope they had fun, but sadly, I can't join them in their little all-nighter, because I'm beat."

I slowly walked up the stairs, a dull tenseness in my knees. Of course, my knees decide to act up when I'm climbing the stairs.

"Sometimes, I think there's some higher power out there, writing all of this out, laughing as he torments me."

Somewhere, a certain pink mare laughed at the sheer disregard to what's left of the fourth wall.

"Ugh..." When I reached the top, I kicked my legs a little bit, to work the kinks out. "Not... Fun..." I shook my head a little bit, and walked over to Scoots' room, and opened the door.

"Hey girls, I just wanted to say goodni-" I stopped mid-sentence, and looked at them. They both had magazines in their hands... But not just any magazines.

"Wingboner Illustrated... Oh. My. Goddesses."

(Listen to this)

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I felt my face turning red, but it wasn't from anger... That cover image... Oh goodness.

Scoots' mind finally registered that I was there, and she started freaking out, and tried to hide the magazine. "Dad! Uh- We were just- Um- I... I... I can explain!"

I crossed my arms, and started tapping my foot. "You better get started then..."

Apple Bloom tossed her magazine under the bed, and looked up to me, her cheeks as red as her mane. "Well... We was just... Uh... Ah'... Well..."

I shook my head, and rubbed my face with both hands. "You were both looking at porn." They both nodded.

"In Scoots' bedroom." They nodded again.

"And you're both dating." They half-nodded, and then looked at each other, their faces getting even redder.

Scoots stuttered as she tried to comprehend what I was thinking. "W-Wait, you mean you- But we... NO!"

Apple Bloom just shook her head violently, saying "no" over and over again.

I sighed, and cracked my neck to calm down. "Alright... Well... If you two are just gonna..." I cleared my throat. "'Read...' Then I'm just gonna go to bed. Don't... Oh, you know what I'm gonna say."

They both slowly nodded, but their faces stayed red. I closed the door, and was met by Dashie in the hallway. I must have woken her up.

(Stop the music)

"What's with all the yelling, Kyle?"

I shrugged. "Oh, nothing, I just walked in on Scoots' and Apple Bloom looking at porn."

Dashie's eyes widened, and she slowly turned around to head to our bedroom, but looked back at us.

"They weren't planning on... You know..."

I shook my head. "No, and I told them not to."

"OK, good... Lets go to bed."

I nodded, and sighed. "Yeah..."

"Today's been a long day... Again, I think there's someone out there controlling all of this, and he's getting a sick kick out of tormenting me."

And again, a certain pink mare giggled at the tears forming in the fourth wall, which now consists of duct-tape.

Well, that was fun. Now then... I'm thinking of either the next chapter, or the chapter after being another "Case Chapter." What do you guys think? My urge to write it is overwhelming...

Chapter 37: Kyle Bucy: Ace Attorney! Turnabout Forgiveness: Day 1

CHAPTER 37

Another case, but there's a little more in this one. Not only do I have music... I'm also marking the important bits in orange text. So if you want to try to figure this out, then write it down or something. Have fun!

"Well, yesterday certainly was... Interesting... Oh man, catching my daughter and her marefriend looking at porn... AWKWARD."

"Kyle! Hey!" I turned around, and a slightly familiar face was coming at me. It was a red earth pony. One of Hoops' friends. I got into a fighting stance, but he slowed down, and kept his distance. "Listen, I'm not here for a fight... You've gotta help me!"

I lowered my guard... Slightly, and cocked my eyebrow. "Why should I?"

"Because! Hoops is in serious trouble. I know you two don't get along, but this is really serious!"

I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms. "How serious could it possibly be?"

"He's been accused of murder!"

I felt my eyes widen, and I let my arms fall to my sides. "OK, yeah, that's pretty serious..."

"Hoops may be a jerk, but he'd never murder anypony... He doesn't have the guts! But this is a real, honest-to-goodness case, not a Mock Trial... But I can't just let Hoops be tried 'Guilty.'"

The red pony started trotting in place, freaking out. "Well, will you help?!"

"Relax... I will. Hoops is in good hands."

"Alright! Well, the case is tomorrow... Come on, I'll take you to the Detention Center."

"Of COURSE it's tomorrow... Just my luck."

(Listen to this)

I sat down in the chair, and looked through the glass. Hoops looked depressed, and as if he were about to lose it.

"So... You're here to laugh at me?" Hoops hung his head, and I saw a tear run down his face.

"No. Hoops, I'm here to offer my help. I'm a decent attorney, and you can trust me. I'd never let an innocent pony go to jail, no matter who they are."

He looked up at me, and I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "You really mean that?"

I nodded. "I just need you to tell me: Did you, or did you not, kill whoever the victim is?"

He shook his head. "No. I couldn't do that. It's just sick."

I smiled, and gave him a nod of approval. "You're not so bad, you know that, Hoops? I promise you, I'm not letting you stay in there... Can you tell me anything about the case?"

He put his hoof on his chin, and nodded. "I don't know much, but I do know that the victim is somepony named... Lightning Speed. He was this pegasus in Cloudsdale, always messing with ponies, and stabbing them in the back... Well, this time, it was him who got stabbed in the back."

"So I take it the murder weapon was a knife, and death was caused by being... Well, backstabbed. Wow. Irony."

He chuckled a bit. "Yeah. Well, he messed with my mom about a year back, and I told him to back off. I didn't touch him or anything. They think that's my motive."

I shook my head, and let out a sigh. "They don't have much on you... Why did they arrest you?"

"I'm the one who found the body."

(Stop the music)

I blinked. "Say again?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I found the body, and when I went to call the guards, they'd already arrived, and arrested me."

I scratched my chin a bit. "Where's the crime scene?"

"An alleyway, up in Cloudsdale. It's on Starswirl Street."

I stood up, and nodded to Hoops to say goodbye. "I've got this. You just sit tight, and wait until the trial tomorrow."

"Alright. And Kyle?" I turned to look at him. "Thanks."

I grinned, and waved my hand dismissively. "No problem."

(Listen to this)

I stepped into the alleyway, which had a wall at the end of it, making it a dead end, and noticed the red spot on the cloud, and the slight indent in the shape of a body.

"Eh, so that's where he died." I looked around the point of death, and saw some hoof indents in the clouds. "It looks like there was a bit of a struggle, but the victim was chased into the alleyway... Hm... Both of these sets of hoofprints seem too big to be Hoops'."

Suddenly, I heard hoofsteps behind me, a bit muffled by the clouds, but otherwise, quite audible. I turned around, and saw a brown pegasus, wearing a black coat, with a black mane, which was quite messy. His Cutie Mark was a magnifying glass, and he had an angry look on his face.

"Hey! What're you doing, snooping around on a crime scene?"

I raised my hands in front of me defensively. "Woah, easy there. I'm investigating. I'm the defense's attorney."

He furrowed his brow even more. "Hm... Give me one reason why I shouldn't haul you off right now."

I shook my head, and grinned. "Because, I'm just doing my job. Who are you, anyways?"

He smiled, and leaned his head back a bit, proudly. "Whick Horseshoe. Just call me Detective Horseshoe. And you are?"

"Kyle Bucy."

"Yeah, I figured. Everypony knows about you. Alright, I'll let you look around, just don't go messing with anything, OK, bub?"

I nodded. "Yes sir."

He grinned a bit at being called sir, and went off to the side, looking over the scene as well. I crouched down next to the bloodstain, and looked it over.

"Hm... It's dried up, that's to be expected. It looks like it spread a little bit as the victim bled out... Nothing strange here..."

I stood back up, and then I noticed a small glimmer of light come from next to the blood. "What the...?" I checked it out, and it was small metal shards.

"Metal shards... What if they're from the murder weapon?"

"Hey, detective?"

"Yeah?"

I stood up, and shoved my hand in my jacket pocket, and tipped my hat a bit. "Do you have a copy of the autopsy report?"

He nodded, and reached into his jacket, and pulled out a yellow envelope. "Yeah, here ya' go, bub. I'll just get another copy from the precinct."

I gave him a thankful nod, and pulled the autopsy report out.

"Victim: Lightning Speed. Cause of Death: Single stab wound to the back, causing the victim to bleed out. Time of Death: Sometime around 12:00am. Murder weapon: Switchblade knife. Blade broken in center. End of blade found in body. Hm... So those metal shards are from the murder weapon... And it broke off in the victim's back... Ouch. I guess it wouldn't hurt to just borrow these shards then." I stealthily picked up the shards, and put them in my jacket pocket, and kept my hand out of it.

"Hey, detective... Do you have any other suspects, other than Hoops?"

He shook his head. "No, sorry. I hate to say it, but I think your friend did it."

"Dammit. This is gonna be tough..."

"Well, I'm heading home. I don't see anything here. You have fun." He chuckled a bit, and trotted away.

"What a cool guy. I like him... Back to investigating."

After looking around a bit more, I found something else interesting. A wallet hidden under a dumpster.

"The money is gone, but everything else is still in here... The victim's ID, some tickets to a Wonderbolts show... This may have just been a mugging."

(Stop the music)

I stood up, and looked around. There was nothing else to be found. And then, something clicked in my mind.

"I need some place to stay. I can't run between home and here. I doubt this trial will last only one day. Hm... I wonder if I could catch up with Horseshoe? Worth a shot!"

And thankfully, I did. I asked him if I could crash on his couch, and he let me. Next up: The trial.

(Listen to this)

I sat on the bench in the Courtroom Lounge. I felt a little nervous, but I also felt confident. I had some evidence, and I was actually informed of the details of the case beforehand.

"Oh man, my first REAL case... This is gonna be intense... Man I hope I win. I know Hoops didn't do it... But who? And who's the prosecutor? I guess it'll all become clear in there..." I looked at the large double doors. It felt strange, being in a courthouse made of clouds, but I could get over it.

"Ah, so you're Mr. Bucy. A pleasure to meet you." I looked to my other side, and saw a posh pegasus, with a bow-tie, and grey hair, which is slicked to the right. His coat was a light blue, and his eyes were green. His Cutie Mark was the Scales of Justice.

"Hello... Who are you?"

He smiled, and did a little bow. "My name, is Guilt Trip. I will be prosecuting today. A pleasure to meet you, Loser."

I cocked my eyebrow. "What did you just call me?"

His smile turned into a smug grin. "I called you 'Loser.' Do you think you're going to win today? Think again."

"Why are all prosecutors stuck-up jerks? I mean, really."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Whatever, just leave me alone." I fixed the collar on my suit, and checked to make sure my hair was still properly slicked back. Everything was in check.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that you haven't a chance in the world! I bid you, adieu." He did another one of his bows, and trotted off.

"The urge to beat his face in is unbearable... I can't wait to see the look on his face when I turn the tables on him."

One of the guards, who watch over the Courthouse to make sure nopony causes any problems or tries to run off, tapped me on the shoulder.

"Mr. Bucy, the trial is starting."

I nodded, and stood up, heading for the double doors.

"Wait!" I turned around and saw... Dashie? She was flying at me pretty fast.

"Dashie, what the heck are you doing here?"

She landed, and skidded to a hault right in front of me. "I was out with Twilight, when I heard you talking to that red pony! I heard you had to come here, so I followed you. I wanna help!"

The guard shrugged. "You could be his co-council."

We both nodded, and the guard nodded back at us. We both walked into the courtroom.

"Oh, this is gonna be fun..."

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

I looked around. Everypony was a pegasus, obviously. The judge was a grey pegasus, with no mane, but a white beard, and a black robe, hiding his Cutie Mark.

"I bet it's a gavel..."

He cleared his throat, and looked over the courtroom. "The trial is now in session. Is the prosecution ready?"

Guilt Trip did another bow. "Yes, Your Honor."

The judge looked at me, and looked me over for a second. "Is the defense ready?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

He nodded. "Then the Prosecution may make it's opening statement."

Guilt Trip shot me a smug look, which earned him a scowl from me. "Of course. It's quite simple, really. The defendant, Hoops Basket, followed the victim into an alleyway, and stabbed him a single time in the back, and left the victim to bleed out. The reason? The victim was toying with his mother's emotions and using her a little under a year ago. May I call my first witness?" The judge nodded. "Then, I'd like to call Ditzy Do to the stand."

"WHAT."

Dashie stared at the doors to the prosecutor's lounge, behind the witness' stand. "What could Derpy possibly have to do with this?"

I swallowed hard. "I have no idea... I hope she's just a witness, and nothing else."

Derpy came out from the prosecutor's lounge, and climbed up to the witness stand. She looked over to me, and smiled, waving.

"Hi Kyle! Long time no see!"

"I'm assuming she's not traveling with The Doctor anymore..."

Guilt Trip leaned on his desk. "State your name and occupation, please."

Derpy did a little salute. "My name is Ditzy Do. I run the Equestrian Postal Offices. I also deliver mail."

Guilt put his hooves back on the ground, and gave Derpy a nod. "You may testify. What did you see?"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Derpy did another little salute. "I was doing my usual nighttime mail route. I think it was around... Midnight. Well, I was flying over the alleyway, and I saw somepony follow Lightning into the alleyway, he was probably taking a shortcut. Well, the pony had a knife, and they... They stabbed Lightning in the back... I think he was stabbed only once. I'm not sure. I rushed off to tell the guards, but when I told them, they told me they'd already taken care of it."

The judge nodded, and looked to me. "Do you wish to cross examine the witness?"

"Yes, Your Honor." I leaned in on my desk, and looked Derpy straight in her good eye. "So... Derpy... About your nighttime mail route... Do you usually look around below you while you're delivering mail?"

She nodded, and smiled. "Yeah! I love looking at the pretty scenery."

"Hm... I guess that makes sense."

"And you saw Lightning enter the alleyway on his own accord?" She nodded again. I chuckled, and tapped the side of my head. "Derpy, there's only one problem with your testimony..."

She tilted her head sideways. "Huh?"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"When I went to the crime scene, I saw signs of a struggle. And the hoofprints suggest that he was chased into the alleyway! He didn't enter on his own accord, he was trying to escape the murderer. Ergo, you couldn't have seen him calmly walking along, you had to have seen him being chased. I'm not saying your lying, you were probably just really tired, and you're having a hard time remembering because of that." I crossed my arms, and shot a smug look at Guilt, who was looking a bit irritated.

Derpy nodded. "Yeah! I was pretty sleepy. It was midnight, after all."

"Poor thing... I have insomnia, and I know how it feels to not be able to sleep for hours or even days on end... Not fun."

The judge nodded to the witness understandingly. "I know how you feel. I've been rather restless today. I almost forgot I had to work today!"

I slouched, and stared at the judge. "Why am I not surprised?"

Dashie looked up at me. "How did you catch that? I didn't notice any of that stuff until you pointed it out."

I shrugged. "Intuition. I have an eye for detail."

The judge cleared his throat again. "The witness may re-state her testimony accordingly."

Guilt Trip slammed a hoof down on his desk. "Why? This testimony isn't proving anything. We already have a suspect, we can put him a the scene of the crime, and he has a motive. I think you can pass judgement-"

"OBJECTION!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I leaned on my desk, and glared at Guilt. "You can't just cast away all of these details. We still need to hear the witness' revised testimony, and I still need to cross examine it. So calm down, and be patient."

He shook his head, and chuckled a bit. "What's the point of these useless details? They won't change anyth-"

"HOLD IT! You don't know that, so like I said, SHUT UP, and listen."

The judge nodded. "I agree with the defense. The prosecution may remain quiet until they have something meaningful to add."

I crossed my arms and grinned, and Guilt Trip looked like he wanted to scream.

The judge cocked his eyebrow. "Mr. Trip... Are you alright?"

Guilt leaned down on his desk, and glared daggers at me. "Yes... Your Honor..."

"Guilt needs to lighten up... He looks like he's ready to go ballistic."

Dashie nudged me in the side. "So what happens now?"

I leaned in on my desk a little bit, and ran a hand over my hair. "Now, Derpy just says her testimony over again, changing any mistakes, and adding details. Then, I cross examine her again, and point out any contradictions, if there are any. Otherwise, I just keep digging for more info." Dashie nodded, and we both looked up at Derpy again.

"Oh man... I really hope Derpy doesn't try anything. I don't see why she would lie, though..."

The judge cleared his throat, and gave Derpy a small nod.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Okie Dokie..." Derpy put a hoof on her chin. "Like I said, I was doing my nighttime delivery route, and it was around midnight, and I saw two stallions... And they were... Running around. One was chasing the other, and I saw a little glint come from his mouth, I think it was the knife. Well, the one in front, Lightning, ran into an alley, and he was cornered. The one chasing him stabbed him, and then ran away. I flew off to tell the guards, but they were already on it."

"Wait..." Dashie cocked her eyebrow. "If the killer ran away, how could it have been Hoops? They arrested him in the alleyway!"

I crossed my arms, and nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That doesn't make any sense."

The judge closed his eyes, and tapped his hoof on his podium. "Yes, that doesn't make much sense, does it? Mr. Trip, would you like to offer an explanation for this?"

Guilt tapped his hoof on his chin, and then smiled. "Of course, Your Honor."

"Dammit."

He shrugged, and his smile turned smug. "It's quite simple. Hoops DID run away, but he came back to make sure he finished the job, and got caught right before he left again."

"DAMMIT!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I slouched over a bit, and felt myself start to sweat.

The judge nodded. "That does make sense. And that means that the witness' testimony only re-enforces the court's suspicions of Mr. Basket. And this isn't his first time in my courtroom, either."

"Words cannot describe how screwed I am..."

Guilt nodded in satisfaction. "Well, Your Honor? Are you ready to deliver your verdict?"

The judge picked up his gavel. "I believe so. Mr. Bucy, do you have anything to say?"

"Uhhh..." I couldn't think of anything. "W-Well... M-Maybe it wasn't Hoops? I mean, we can't be one-hundred percent sure-"

"HOLD IT!" Guilt glared at me. "You're just prolonging the inevitable! You don't even have a case. Just give up. Nopony'll hold it against you. Hoops is just a punk anyways."

"Even though he has a point, I know that Hoops didn't do it... But I can't prove it... Oh man... Hoops... What do I do?!"

The judge furrowed his brow. "Mr. Bucy?"

I scratched the side of my head. "Uh... Well, again, we don't have any concrete evidence that the killer was Hoops-"

"OBJECTION!" Guilt sighed, and shook his head. "You just don't know when to quit, do you, Bucy?"

"Ugh... I can never win, can I?"

He pointed at me, and his smug grin returned. "You lose. Plain and simple. Judge?"

The judge nodded. "Right then. If there won't be anymore interruptions..." He shot a dirty look at me, and I grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of my neck, and then tugged on the collar of my suit. I was still sweating. The judge shook his head, and raised his gavel. "I declare the defendant, Hoops Basket-"

"HOLD IT!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Everyone in the courtroom, even me, was shocked. We all looked at the source of the voice. Dashie.

The judge's eyes were wide in surprise. "Um... Is there a problem, Ms...."

Dashie slammed her hoof on the desk. "It's Mrs., Your Honor. Mrs. Dash. I'm Kyle's wife, and co-council."

"When the heck did Dashie learn anything about law...? She must have taken an interest in it after my Mock Trial... how convenient."

The judge nodded. "Right... So what is it, Mrs. Dash? Do you need to use the facilities?"

Dashie shook her head. "No, Your Honor. I just wanted to say that the prosecution has no idea of what he's doing."

Guilt took a step back. "What?"

Dashie leaned in on the desk, and grinned. "Yeah! You're rushing this whole thing! We don't have any decisive evidence, as Kyle said, and plus, I doubt Hoops would run away, and then come back to check the body. Nopony's that stupid, not even Hoops."

The judge closed his eyes, and fell into deep thought. "Hm... Mrs. Dash has a point. That would be quite irrational. But maybe he just came back because he felt bad or something?"

I shook my head. "Not likely, Your Honor, because you see, I found a wallet at the crime scene. The money in it was missing, and it was well hidden. So it could have been a robbery, and the murdered just didn't want Lightning crying to the authorities, so he finished him off."

Guilt laughed, and glared at me. "Then why didn't he hide the body?!"

"Crap."

I scratched my chin, trying to think. "Uhh..."

Dashie's eyes suddenly widened. "What if the murderer knew Hoops was going to find the body? The guards were on their way by the time Derpy told them. What if the murderer alerted the guards, knowing Hoops would be there, and framed him?"

(Stop the music)

The judge nodded. "Excellent observation, Mrs. Dash. The defense has raised several good points, and I cannot make my verdict now. We need to investigate this more thoroughly. I give both sides another day for research and investigation. Court is adjourned!"

The judge banged his gavel, and Guilt Trip looked like he wanted to gouge my eyes out. He said nothing, and just marched out.

I wiped my forehead with my arm, and pulled Dashie into a hug. "You, my wonderful wife, just saved my skin."

She nuzzled my cheek a bit. "Heh, it was nothing. Now... Where are we staying?"

"Oh, uh... Detective Horseshoe's couch. Ehehe..."

Dashie shrugged. "It's fine. I've got a pillow. You."

"I love my life..."

We both headed out of the courtroom, and the detective was standing in the defense's lounge.

"Hey, bub. Nice work in there. You've got me thinkin'... Maybe Hoops didn't do it. I don't know how you figured it out, but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, and you and your wife there are gonna help me."

I gave him a nod. "Don't worry, Detective. I've got your back."

Dashie did a little salute. "I'm on it!"

He chuckled. "Great." He flicked his head in the direction of the door. "Now let's get going, I've got instant noodles at the house if any of you want any dinner."

We followed him to his house, and sure enough, we had a wonderful instant noodle dinner. The guy's house is a little small, but it gets the job done. I felt good, like I was gonna win this thing.

But little did I know, that I was being watched by the very pony I was trying to find.

Chapter 38: Kyle Bucy: Ace Attorney! Turnabout Forgiveness: Day 2

CHAPTER 38

Here we go, day two of three. You all know what to do by now.

(Listen to this)

I rolled off of the couch, and let out a loud yawn. I was in a tanktop, and my boxers, which are very comfortable for PJs. I looked over the little counter separating the living room and the kitchen, and as I expected, Dashie and Horseshoe were sitting at the little table in the center, eating some cheap cereal. Horseshoe smiled and chuckled a bit when he saw me. I look terrible in the mornings.

"Well mornin' there, bub. Sleep well? Oh, and nice PJs, by the way." He chuckled again, and I shook my head, grinning.

"Shut up... Hehe, so, ready to do some investigating?" I twisted myself around a bit, trying to crack my back. When I heard my spine popping, I let out a sigh of relief.

Dashie stood up, and trotted over to me. "That's what's got me confused. Don't you investigate after that day's trial? It'd make more sense."

I crossed my arms. "Yeah, you'd expect that. I investigate beforehand, so no snooping prosecutors can find anything before me."

Horseshoe nodded. "Good plan. I like that. Real clever." He pushed his bowl to the center of the table, and stood up. "Alright, get dressed. We should head out now."

I grabbed my t-shirt, pulled on my jeans, and threw on my jacket and hat, and out the door we went.

"There's gotta be more at the scene that I didn't notice before... Or maybe I know who the killer is, I just can't remember who... Only time will tell."

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

Back at the scene of the crime, I was trying to find a way that it could have been somepony else, who would have tried to frame Hoops.

"Alright, so... Hoops came from the upper part of the street... That heads towards the Weather Factory. That means it was somepony who knew he took this route home from work, ergo, they timed the murder to frame him. So it wasn't just a robbery, it was pre-meditated."

Detective Horseshoe waved me over to some hoofprints from where Hoops came from. "Hey, Kyle, these hoofprints, these are Hoops'. I know, because they match his hoof size when we arrested him. He was heading from the Weather Factory, right?" I nodded. "So... He stopped there," he pointed to the entrance to the alleyway, "and saw the body, and walked in," he pointed to the hoofprints leading to the bloodstain, "and then turned around to leave... When the guards got him."

I nodded in agreement. "That would explain all of these hoofprints in a straight formation at the entrance. They belong to the guards who arrested Hoops."

Dashie called out from the other side of the alleyway. "And these hoofprints here. These are too big to be Hoops'. They must be the killer's! They lead all across the street, like there was a chase, and then lead back into the alleyway, right next to the bloodstain, then back out, and in the opposite direction of where Hoops was coming from."

I smiled. "Meaning Hoops couldn't be the killer."

"That's right, killer... I'm getting closer. Just you wait." Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

"Hey, Horseshoe, are there any abandoned places in that direction, where the killer ran?"

He put his hoof on his chin, and then nodded. "Yeah, an old apartment complex... Ah! I see what you're getting at. You think it's his hideout?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Lets not investigate it now, it'd be suspicious for three ponies to be walking away from a crime scene and into a potential hideout in broad daylight." Dashie and Horseshoe nodded in agreement.

"Alright. Dashie, you were right." I rubbed her head a bit. "The murderer is a friend of Hoops'. He knew Hoops was walking home from work, so he killed Lightning, and left the body out, knowing Hoops would see it, and alerted the guards to said murder. Then, he hunkered down in the abandoned apartment complex."

"Heh. I'm not as dumb as I seem."

I cocked my eyebrow at her. "Don't get too sure of yourself."

"Hey!"

Horseshoe and I laughed. Then, Horseshoe nudged my side. "Is there anything else we should be looking for?"

I rubbed my chin a bit. "Well... I don't think so... Yeah, I think we're good here. Lets get to the courthouse. But first, lets go back to your house, Horseshoe. I need to change into my suit."

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

"Hm... I can't figure out who the killer is! I know he's Hoops' friend, but that's a load of ponies. I need more information. Maybe... No... Gah! I can't figure it out! Just calm down, Kyle... Focus on what's going on now. You have a trial to win!"

"Ah, hello, Mr. Bucy." It was Guilt Trip again.

"Oh not this jackass again..."

"Hello, Guilt Trip... What do you want? I'm trying to think." I glared at him, and he put on a very serious face.

"I believe that your assumptions are right. Although I still suspect Hoops, I also believe that you may be correct. I don't really know what to think. You've opened many doors for this case. I'm not going to help you or give you evidence, but I won't be completely against you in there, either." He gave me a dismissive nod, and trotted away. Dashie just stared at him.

"Well... That was interesting."

I nodded. "Yeah... Well, at least he won't keep trying to shoot my logic down. That'll help. A lot. And that also means that his logic will actually contribute to my case as well."

Dashie shrugged. "As long as we don't lose this, I'm fine with anything that happens."

"Seriously... You know, I'm wondering what exactly the motive was. If it wasn't just for the money in the wallet, then what? I mean, it was obviously pre-meditated. Why would somepony plan a murder just to steal some money? That's a bit... Much. I mean, really."

Dashie shrugged again. "Maybe he wanted revenge for something. I dunno if it was against Hoops, Lightning, or both, but it could be revenge."

I scratched my chin. "Hm... That's a good thought. I think I'll use that..."

The guard cleared his throat, and flicked his head towards the door. Dashie looked at me expectantly. "You ready?"

I nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be. Lets get in there, and blow this case outta the water."

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

The judge cleared his throat. "Court is now in session. Is the prosecution ready?"

Guilt Trip nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

The judge looked at me. "Is the defense ready?"

I stuffed my hand in my pocket. "Of course, Your Honor."

The judge nodded. "Then we may resume this case. The prosecution may make it's opening statement."

Guilt Trip nodded again, and cleared his throat. "Well, the prosecution has reason to believe that the defendant is, in fact, not the killer. I still have my suspicions, but the points the defense raised yesterday are too conspicuous to let slide. We have established that it may have been one of Mr. Basket's friends who committed the murder, not Mr. Basket himself."

The judge closed his eyes, and sighed. "Right... OK, the prosecution may call it's witness."

Guilt Trip leaned in on his desk. "The prosecution would like to call Mrs. Basket to the stand."

"Hoops' mom? Hm..."

Then, an elderly mare, with a grey mane, dark blue eyes, and a coat that was brown like Hoops', but a bit lighter. Her Cutie Mark was a foal in a basket, wrapped in blankets, sleeping soundly.

"She must babysit or something."

Guilt Trip tapped his hoof on his desk. "Name and occupation, please."

Mrs. Basket smiled, and nodded slightly. Her head shook a little when she moved it. "Sure thing, sonny. My name's Caring. Caring Basket. I run a daycare business, and I do a darn good job at it too."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Guilt stood on all fours, and stared straight at Mrs. Basket. "Right. Now, witness, you knew the victim, correct?"

"Yessir. I knew him back when I was a bit younger. He was just coming of age then. He was a kind one, he was, always taking me on dates, bringing me flowers..." Her eyes flitted back and forth. She looked very nervous. "I don't understand why anypony would hurt the poor dear. He was getting on in years. He was only five years younger than me, you know-"

I shook my head. "The witness should refrain from getting off topic, please."

Mrs. Basket glared at me. "You hush up, whippersnapper. I'm gettin' to it."

I slouched forward, and frowned. "Whippersnapper... I'm seventeen, lady."

Dashie cocked her eyebrow. "Sheesh, what a cranky old bag."

She scoffed, and whipped her mane out of her eyes. "Now where was I... Oh, right. Lightning... A kind fella... I don't remember much about him, though. But like I said, nopony would ever want to harm a hair on his pretty little head."

Guilt Trip closed his eyes. "Is that all?"

Mrs. Basket nodded. "Yep. I don't understand why anypony would wanna kill him, much less my son."

I chuckled, and shook my head. "Are you sure you remember anything about him at all? Your son said he wasn't the nicest guy in Equestria."

Mrs. Basket blinked. "What're you saying, whippersnapper?"

I put my hands on my hips. "There's a problem with your testimony. You keep insisting that Lightning was a really nice pony."

She glared at me. "That's because he was! You tryin' to speak ill of the dead, boy?"

I shook my head again. "No... But your son, is a different story."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"When I visited him in the Detention Center, he told me that he toyed with mares, and swindled them, and used them, and then stabbed them in the back in the end. Hoops also told me that he did the same thing to you."

Guilt Trip stared at me like I was nuts. "But that means Hoops has a motive!"

"Not so fast, Guilt. I was at the scene again before this trial. I saw Hoops' hoofprints there, but they were headed here from the Weather Factory, where he works. His hoofprints lead from the opposite end of the street from where the killer ran after the murder, and said hoofprints lead into the alley, when he was arrested by the guards. There's no way Hoops could have killed him!"

Guilt Trip closed his eyes, and furrowed his brow. "Hm... You're right. There doesn't seem to be any way Hoops could have done it. But we still don't have any other suspect, so he is still under suspicion."

"Can't blame him for that. It's only logical."

Suddenly, Mrs. Basket growled. "You were just bad-mouthin' Lightning... Who do you think you are?"

I cocked my eyebrow. "Uh... A defense attorney?"

Mrs. Basket started gritting her teeth, and gave me a stare that made me shudder a bit. "No. You're just a dirty-mouthed good-for-nothing!"

"Ack!" I recoiled a bit. I wasn't expecting such an old woman to get so mad.

"He was a sweet boy! He never did anything to me! He didn't swindle me! He didn't do anything like that! I... I swear it..." A tear ran down her face.

"She must've really liked him... All that happened years ago, and she still can't let go... Poor mare."

I slammed my hands on my desk. "Mrs. Basket, I believe that you, in fact, were 'swindled' by Lightning. If so, I say that you re-testify to satisfy these facts."

She kept crying, and shook her head, repeatedly saying "it's not true." She eventually stopped, wiped her face, and let out a long, stressed sigh.

(Stop the music)

"Alright, whippersnapper... You got me. I... I just don't understand why he did those things to me... I'll tell you everything."

The judge nodded. "Please, go on, Mrs. Basket. And Mr. Bucy?"

"Yes, Your Honor?"

He gave me a sad look. "Go easy on her, OK?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

Guilt Trip leaned down on his desk a bit. "Witness, if you will."

(Listen to this)

Mrs. Basket took a deep breath, and hung her head in shame. "Lightning was always nice to me at first whenever we first started seeing each other... But eventually, he began to act harshly, always yelling at me, and demanding that I loan him some money. He started getting physical when I said no... So I was always giving him money, and myself... I know Hoops didn't kill him. I think it may have been his friend at the Weather Factory. Hoops told me Lightning snatched one of his friends' marefriend away..."

I rubbed my chin. "Do you know this friend's name?"

She put a hoof to her chin, and then smiled sheepishly. "Uh, I forgot. Sorry about that."

"Of course you did. OF. COURSE. I can never catch a break, can I?"

Guilt Trip slammed his hoof on his desk. "Witness! I implore you to try to remember. Dig deeper! Any nugget of information will help!"

Mrs. Basket rubbed the side of her head, and closed her eyes. "It was... I can't remember his name, but I do know that he worked in the Rainbow part, with Hoops."

I nodded. "That could narrow it down. Now the guards don't need to interrogate the entire factory."

Dashie grinned. "Alright! We've got this in our favor now."

I crossed my arms, and nodded. "Right. Lets just hope it stays that way..."

Guilt smiled. "I will be personally interrogating some of the workers myself. I assure you that tomorrow, one of them will be on the witness stand... Is that all, Mrs. Basket?" She nodded meekly. "Then that will be all. You may leave." She slowly climbed down from the stand, and left. I felt bad for making her have to dig up those horrible memories, but she gave us some valuable information.

(Stop the music)

The judge cleared his throat. "Alright then. Does the prosecution have any more witnesses to call?"

Guilt Trip shook his head. "No, Your Honor."

The judge nodded. "Right then. I grant both sides one final day to find the murderer, if not, I will be forced to declare Hoops guilty. This is your last chance, you two, make it count."

He banged his gavel, and we were off.

(Third Person)

A little ways down the street, Kyle broke off in the direction to head back to the scene of the crime. Dashie looked worried, and Horseshoe looked confused.

"Kyle... Where are you going?"

Horseshoe furrowed his brow. "I hope you aren't planning on investigating more, and not getting any sleep."

Kyle waved his hand dismissively, and grinned. "Relax, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna go over the scene a bit more, and then head back. I'll catch you two later."

They both nodded, and headed back to Horseshoe's house. Kyle headed back to the scene of the crime. But that's not where he was actually headed.

"I didn't want to worry them... Time to check out that old apartment complex. I bet the murderer knows we're on his trail, so he probably turned tail and is running to hide somewhere else. He probably left behind some evidence."

The building definitely fit the "abandoned" description. The door looked like it had been boarded up in the past, but the boards were gone, and the door was slightly open. Kyle decided to let himself in.

*Crrrrreeeeaaaaak*

(Listen to this)

The door made a terrible sound when Kyle opened it. He shook his head, and looked around. There were bits of rubble laying on the ground, most likely from the building falling apart from disuse.

"Hm... Yep. Creepy, falling apart, and dark. Definitely a hideout. Lets get searching..."

Kyle looked in a few of the rooms, but he didn't see anything important. Just old, empty apartments. He went up a few floors, and saw that on the fourth floor, all the walls to each apartment had been knocked out, making the floor one large room.

"Hm... This must have been his main area of the building... Spiffing, if I do say so myself."

A dark figure loomed in the shadows, watching Kyle, who was oblivious to its presence.

"I wonder who this nutter is. He's taken over an abandoned apartment complex, hollowed out a floor, and only stayed there for a day or two."

Kyle almost tripped over something, and when he kneeled down to see what it was, he couldn't believe his luck.

"The handle of the knife! Ha! Now I can show this to any witnesses from the factory, and if any of them get nervous... It's our killer. I've got you now..."

Kyle kept on looking around a bit, but he couldn't find anything. He took off his hat, and wiped his forehead.

"Sheesh, it's hot today... Where the heck did this guy keep all of his stuff? He couldn't have moved his entire setup out of here without getting caught."

The dark figure crept out of his shadowy hiding place, and picked up a bit of wood from an old table that had broken long ago.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Kyle scratched his head, and put his hat back on. "Yeesh, this guy didn't have anything. Who could he be...?"

The figure, who was a stallion, shook his head, and smiled wickedly.

Kyle stepped over some smashed furniture, and into an old living room, which was the only room without the walls busted out. He let out a whistle.

"Jackpot... This is where he was staying, no doubt about it. Old food, newspapers... Wait a second."

The stallion's eyes widened, and he knew what Kyle had found.

Kyle took the photo off of the nightstand, and looked at it.

"It's an old picture of Hoops, and one of his friends... The darn picture is faded... Who is it? He looks so familiar..."

The killer climbed over the furniture. He was so close. Kyle had no idea.

Kyle crossed his arms. " I know that stallion... But from where... Dang it! Why can't I remember?!"

The stallion raised the wooden plank with his wing.

Kyle rubbed his chin, and then his eyes widened with realization.

"Oh my Goddesses... The killer... He's-"

The stallion cut Kyle off. "Right behind you."

THWACK

(Stop the music)

Kyle fell to the floor with a dull thud. The killer smiled like a madstallion.

"You thought you were so smart, didn't you, Kyle? Well now you're mine. I'm gonna lock you away, and after tomorrow's trial... You're dead."

Chapter 39: Kyle Bucy: Ace Attorney! Turnabout Forgiveness: Day 3

CHAPTER 39

This is it! All will be revealed in this chapter. Did you guess who the killer was? You're about to find out.

I heard my ears ringing, and I put my hand on the side of my head.

"Oh man... What happened?"

I rolled over, and pushed myself onto my feet. My vision was a little shaky at first, but I managed to steady myself.

"Ugh... My head... The killer... He knocked me out, and kidnapped me... Who was it..."

I remembered two ponies wearing hardhats, one was Hoops, the other... I couldn't remember. The memory was fuzzy.

"Damn..." I slammed my fist against the stone wall. "DAMN! I almost had him... And now I'm locked down here... I was so close. I'm sorry, Hoops... I let you down... Good going, Kyle, you really messed up this time. Hoops is going to be on death row for this! You've just cost an innocent pony his life..."

I slumped down against the wall, and hung my head. I was in a stone room, with a wooden door, which I was assuming was locked. I was going to be murdered after the trial. I leaned my head back against the wall, and closed my eyes.

"How am I gonna get outta this mess?"

I checked my pockets. I still had the evidence with me. The metal shards, and the knife's handle. I didn't have the picture, of course.

"Well, that does me a whole lotta good... I guess I just have to hope somepony saves me."

(Third Person)

"Woah, Dash! Slow down! I'm not in the best shape, here..." Horseshoe was struggling to keep up with Dashie, who was frantically searching for Kyle in the area around the crime scene.

"I can't slow down! He didn't come home last night, and there's a murderer on the loose! I can't just take my time! We gotta find him! What if he's hurt... Or worse?!" Dashie became even more hectic after that, and Horseshoe understood why. What he didn't understand, is why Kyle wasn't a the crime scene.

"Where did that guy go...? Wait. He didn't... Oh no."

(Listen to this)

"DASH! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Dashie halted in mid-air, and landed in front of the detective. "What?! What's wrong?!"

Horseshoe started sweating. "Remember when I warned Kyle not to go check out the abandoned apartments near here...?"

Dashie nodded. "Yeah. Why- Oh no. No, no no no NO NO NO! What if the killer was still there! Who knows what he did to Kyle!"

Horseshoe bolted off at full sprint towards the apartments. "Exactly! Come one, we've gotta-" Dashie blasted ahead of him at full speed. "Hurry... WAIT FOR ME!"

(Stop the music)

(First Person)

"How the hell am I gonna get out of here? Stone walls... Only one window that's WAY too small for me to fit through... And a locked door. Seems impenetrable to me."

I rubbed my chin, trying to think of an escape. I'd regained my confidence, and was ready to find the killer, and give him what he rightfully deserves.

"MAN my head hurts... And this thinking isn't helping. At least I don't have amnesia. That would just be... Awful."

I thought I heard something come from above me, but when I focused, I didn't hear it again. "Hm... I'm underground... A bit. I wonder... What if I'm in the basement of the apartments?But then why would this room be here...? It may have just been a storage closet. That would make sense. The door is just one of those stupid ones that locks on the outside only."

I heard more scuffling above me, and this time, when I listened, I could just barely make out voices. They were saying something about coming downstairs.

"Who the heck...? What if it's some buddies of the murderer? Oh, great... Just great."

I stood in the center of the room, ready to at least try to make an escape. I raised my fists, ready to wail on whoever came in the door. I saw the handle jigling a bit, but the door didn't unlock. I heard the voices continue, but I couldn't make any of it out, asides from them stating the obvious fact that the door is locked.

BANG

Something, or somepony, slammed into the door. It buckled a bit, but stayed strong.

"They're not friends of the murderer... It must be Dashie and Horseshoe! Oh man they're gonna be mad at me... Oh well!"

I started kicking at the door, and it was pretty effective. I saw dents and cracks forming in the frame and around the hinges, and eventually...

CRASH

The door fell off of the hinges, and I saw Horseshoe and Dashie standing there, their faces a mix of worry and anger. Dashie was the first to confront me.

"What were you thinking?! You could have been killed!"

I crossed my arms. "I need more evidence. I'm sorry I put myself at risk, but I just can't lose this. I don't think you realize the seriousness of the situation. If I don't win this, Hoops will be executed for a murder he didn't commit. I need to win this. Hoops' life is in my hands."

Dashie calmed down a bit, and nodded slowly. Horseshoe let out a long sigh.

"Yeesh, bub. You always this intense?"

I nodded. "Yes, yes I am. Now come on. We need to go upstairs. I want to see if the murderer left anything. He most likely tried to clear the place out after catching me."

Horseshoe nodded in agreement, and then cocked his eyebrow. "Wait, he knocked you out, right? Did you see him?"

I shook my head, and frowned. "Sadly, he snuck up behind me, and hit me over the head. I saw a picture of him and Hoops, but I can't remember it... The memory's all fuzzy. I think that has something to do with having a large chunk of wood bashed over my head..." I rubbed the back of my head, where there was a big welt. "Oh~... Goose egg... Hey, wait a minute... What time is it?"

Horseshoe took a cheap-looking pocket watch. "It's about... 8:45 in the morning. We've got a couple of hours before the case. Come on, let's get upstairs."

(Listen to this)

Dashie looked around the "hideout floor" of the apartment complex. "Yeesh, this place sure took a beating."

Horseshoe nodded. "Yeah, no kidding... This guy really is crazy."

I cocked my eyebrow. "What was your first clue? The fact that he's a murderer, or the fact that he attacked me, and then locked me in the basement? Now come on, lets split up- Wait, no, that's a really stupid idea. It NEVER works in the movies, and it usually results in someone getting killed. Lets stick together. That's the smart thing to do."

Dashie and Horseshoe looked at each other, and shrugged.

"They probably think I'm nuts right now... What the hell. Alright, now then... That living room. That was the only place where I saw anything important."

I headed towards said living room, and sure enough, it was almost completely empty. The only thing left was...

"The picture...!" I picked it up, but the frame was empty, and the glass on it was smashed. "DAMMIT. Oh well, I could probably use this against the witnesses Guilt's gonna call. I KNOW one of them will be the killer, and if not..." I swallowed hard, knowing that I was being very risking letting my case ride on the chance that the murderer turns up on the stand.

"Well, if you don't take any risks, you don't get any rewards. I just hope I'm right about all of this..."

Horseshoe looked around the room a bit. "It doesn't look like there's much here."

Dashie lifted a loose bit of cloud, and smiled. "Oh, but there is. It's a plaque from the Weather Factory. The nameplate is gone, but the plaque... It might be useful."

I nodded, and took it. "Right. I can use it to unnerve the killer, just like I'm gonna use the rest of my evidence on him. Eventually, he'll snap, and he'll end up spilling his guts to us. That's how these things go."

Horseshoe grunted. "Yeah, but what if the killer isn't even on the stand?"

I closed my eyes, and furrowed my brow. "I thought of that... That's why I'm trusting Guilt Trip to make the right decisions, and bring in the right witnesses."

Dashie stared at me like I was insane. "You're trusting that creep? Come on! He's probably gonna bring in bogus witnesses and shoot our case down."

I shook my head. "No. I know his type. He just wants the truth revealed, nothing more, nothing less. He's a bit of a snob, sure, but he's a good pony nonetheless. I trust him, and I just hope I'm placing my trust properly."

They both just stared at me, but their eyes told me that they trusted my decision.

"I have some of the best friends ever..."

Dashie looked around the room a little bit. "I think we're done here."

Horseshoe nodded. "Yeah. Whaddya say, bub? Should we leave, or should we pick around in here for another minute or two?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "I think we're done here. Come on, lets go get ready for the trial."

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

"Alright... This is gonna go well... You'll be fine... Holy crap I'm nervous..." I shook my head, and Dashie rubbed my back with her hoof.

"Calm down, Kyle... You'll be alright! Sheesh, you're acting like it's the end of the world."

I rubbed my face, and cracked my neck. "I know I need to calm down, but I'm just really freaked out. What if I lose this? Hoops-"

Dashie covered my mouth with her hoof. "Shut up, and calm yourself. You'll be fine. I mean, come on, this is you we're talking about. You've pulled some pretty slick tricks in there, I doubt you couldn't do it again. I believe in you." She smiled. It was a sweet, trusting smile. She knew I could do it, and she was right.

"Alright... Calm down... You've got this..."

I leaned back, and let out a long sigh, and ran a hand across my hair. "Alright... I'm good. I'm calm... I'm cool..."

Dashie gave me a quick hug. "Good. Now, what's the plan?"

I cracked my knuckles, and then my back. "Alright. So what I'm gonna do, is instead of try to press the witnesses for information or contradict them, I'm going to show them evidence like the knife handle, the plaque, the picture frame... Things like that. If the witness I show them to is the killer... They'll react. It's as simple as that."

"A very clever plan, Mr. Bucy." Guilt Trip's voice came from beside me, and it almost gave me a heart attack.

"WOAH! Man, don't do that! You scared the heck out of me..."

He chuckled. "Terribly sorry. I do like your plan though. Now, I came to tell you that I've got two witnesses who worked closely with Hoops. They are both stallions, and seem like the thuggish type."

I grinned. "Thanks. I'm assuming you can't tell me their names?"

He shook his head. "I cannot."

I shrugged. "That's fine. I'll learn them in there anyways."

The guard tapped me on the shoulder, and Guilt Trip gave me a nod goodbye before heading back to the prosecutor's lounge. I took a deep breath, and headed into the courtroom.

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

The judge cleared his throat. "Court is now in session. Is the prosecution ready?"

Guilt nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

The judge looked at me, and stared for a moment. "Is the defense ready?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. Always."

"Then the prosecution may make its opening statement."

Guilt gave me a small grin, before putting on his serious face again. "Well, I have called in two witnesses from the Weather Factory. A Mr. Tornado, and a Mr. Dumb-Bell. They both work with the defendant, and are waiting for us as we speak. May I call my first witness, Your Honor?"

The judge nodded. "Go ahead."

"The the prosecution calls Mr. Tornado to the stand."

A blue pegasus, with a blonde mane, and yellow eyes, wearing a white work shirt, and matching hard hat, came to the stands.

Guilt Trip leaned down on his desk. "Name and occupation, please."

"My name is Tornado, and I work at the weather factory, mainly making rainbows, but I help the other departments from time to time."

Guilt nodded, satisfied. "Would you like to tell me who you think killed Mr. Lightning?"

Tornado nodded, and suddenly furrowed his brow, a very serious expression on his face.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Well, I don't think Hoops did it. I know you all suspect me, but I swear, I didn't do it either. He may have... 'Messed with' my sister, and broke her heart, but I couldn't kill anypony! I promise! I mean, he was a bad pony, and he didn't exactly consider anypony's feelings, but... I don't understand why somepony killed him."

I slouched forward, and stared at him. "It's as if he wants me to suspect him."

Guilt slammed his hoof on his desk. "You do realize you just established a motive for yourself, and you've made yourself sound very suspicious with your opinion of Mr. Lightning."

The judge nodded. "I agree. Now... The defense may begin it's cross examination."

"Alright, lets do this."

I slammed my hands on my desk. "Mr. Tornado!"

He recoiled a bit, and started to sweat. "Y-Yes?"

I pulled out the knife handle, the plaque, and the picture frame. "Do any of these items mean anything to you?"

He looked them over, and blinked once when he saw the knife handle. "Hey, that's the handle to my knife! I was wondering where that thing went."

I stared at him like he was crazy. "Wow. You're a really good criminal, you know that?"

The judge furrowed his brow. "Hm... Very suspicious. I say that the bailiff take the witness in to holding until he is otherwise proven un-suspicious."

The bailiff, a large, brown stallion, wearing a police uniform, stared down Tornado, who said nothing, but hung his head, and followed the bailiff out of the courtroom.

Guilt tapped his hoof on his desk. "I call my next witness. Mr. Dumb-Bell."

Suddenly, a large, dark-brown pony, with a light cream mane, and a dumb-bell as a Cutie Mark burst into the courtroom, carrying a certain swagger about him. He was wearing the same uniform as Tornado.

"Seems like a show-off to me..."

Guilt cocked his eyebrow. "Name and occupation... Please..."

Dumb-Bell snorted, and raised his head to appear as if he were looking down on all of us. "The name's Dumb-Bell. I work at the Weather Factory, and I'm the best worker they've got."

"Yep. Show-off. Big time."

The judge seemed surprised at Dumb-Bell's arrogance. "Right... Defense?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor... So, Dumb-Bell..."

"What?"

I showed him the plaque first. "What does this mean to you?"

He grinned. "It's a plaque for 'Employee of the Month' down at the factory. I've got a load of them at home."

I slouched forward again, and stared at him. "I doubt that, Dumb-Bell."

"Alright..." I pulled out the knife handle. "What about this?"

He cocked his eyebrow. "What's that? It looks like a handle to something."

I rubbed my chin. "So he doesn't know about the knife handle... Interesting."

I leaned down on my desk. "Alright, enough with the displays. Dumb-Bell, what is your opinion of the defendant?"

"Who, Hoops? I think he's a pushover. There's some mare he likes, and she's a goodie-goodie-two-shoes. Not hot at all. I think he's going soft."

"So he doesn't like Hoops... I can't tell which one of these guys really did it... I still have the picture frame, but I'd better keep pushing for more info, so I can make a solid connection."

"Alright, Dumb-Bell... What about Lightning? What do you think of him?"

He shrugged. "He's a pimp. He goes around, bucking any mare that he can get his hooves on. He's a creep, too. Always trying to steal mares from other stallions..." He gritted his teeth a little bit.

"Wait... He steals mares... AHA!"

I slammed my hands down on the desk, and glared at Dumb-Bell. "So... He steals mares... I heard that one of Hoops' friends got his mare snatched away from him not too long ago."

He tried to keep a straight face, but I could tell that got to him.

"Alright... I have my suspicions... But still, I can't be sure if this is our guy."

Dumb-Bell let out a sigh, and nodded. "Yeah... He stole my marefriend. I'm pretty peeved about it, but that's no reason to kill somepony."

I nodded in agreement. "True. Now..." I pulled out the picture frame. "Ever seen this before?"

He shrugged again. "Yeah, it's mi-" His eyes widened, and he stopped himself mid-sentence.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I grinned, and put my hands on my hips. "Ah, so this is yours, huh? Funny, because I found it in the hideout of the murder."

The judge stared at me. "What?!"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. The abandoned apartment complex, just down the street from the scene of the crime."

The judge closed his eyes, and thought about that. "Yes... Yes, it was abandoned a few years ago. Continue, Mr. Bucy."

I shrugged, and held my arms out in front of me in a matter of fact way. "It's quite simple. The hoofprints that seemed too big to belong to Hoops? They belong to Mr. Dumb-Bell here. He's slightly bigger than Hoops, he'd fit, I bet. And the handle of the knife that belongs to Mr. Tornado... Dumb-Bell borrowed the knife, hoping he might be able to pin it on Tornado." Dumb-Bell winced a bit. I'd cornered him. "And leaving the body... He's friends with Hoops. He knew Hoops walked that way to get home every day after work, and he knew Hoops would see the body, so he alerted the guards right after committing the murder! He's just been trying to dump all of this on his friends!"

Dumb-Bell glared at me, and just shook his head. "OK... So how can you prove all of that?"

I leaned down on my desk. I felt something brewing in my head.

"His voice... The picture... The killer attacking me..." Then, I remembered the picture.

"Oh, it's quite simple... Can I have the picture?"

Dumb-Bell's eyes widened, and he started to sweat. "W-What picture?"

I looked to the bailiff. "Could you search him, please?" And the bailiff did just that. Sure enough, Dumb-Bell had a picture in his shirt's pocket, and I took it. Just as I'd suspected, Dumb-Bell was the other stallion in the picture.

"I've got you now..."

"Look! I found this frame in the murderer's hideout last night, and this picture was in the frame. I had it with me... Until the murderer knocked me out. I have a welt on the back of my head to prove that."

The judge looked to Dumb-Bell, and back to me. "But-" The bailiff checked, and he looked to the judge, and nodded. "Oh my word..."

I smiled, and lifted the picture and the frame in front of me, and put the picture in. It was a perfect fit, and the picture had small cuts on it where the glass from the frame was smashed, and the picture was yanked out.

Dumb-Bell just stared, shocked at my discoveries.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I slammed my hands down on the desk, and stared straight into Dumb-Bell's eyes. "You've only got one option now... Confess. Give up. I've got you."

Dumb-Bell leaned down on the witness stand, and clenched his eyes shut, and started shaking. "You... You think you've got me? What do you know, huh?"

I crossed my arms. "The truth."

He flicked his head up, and stared at me, gritting his teeth, his eyes the size of pins. "AND HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?! YOU HAVEN'T WON YET! I'M NO MURDERER!"

I shook my head, and tapped my temple. "Face it, I've followed all of my leads, and come to a logical conclusion.You killed Lighting because he stole your marefriend, and tried to frame your friend. You disgust me."

He started to sweat, and then pounded his hooves on the stand over and over again. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! HOW COULD YOU HAVE FIGURED ALL OF THIS OUT! I PLANNED IT ALL! IT WAS PERFECT! How did you... I don't understand. I thought I'd covered all of my tracks..."

I chuckled. "You did. But you covered them with bright red paint, my friend."

He rested his head on the stand for a second or two, breathing heavily, until he composed himself, and looked out over the room. "Alright... You got me. I did it. I give up... Take me away."

(Stop the music)

Dashie looked up at me, and smiled. "You did it!"

I looked down at her. "I did... You were pretty quiet today, what's up?"

She shook her head, and smiled. "You're the attorney here, not me." I smiled, and ruffled her mane a bit.

"I have one last thing to say to you..." Dumb-Bell stared at me, a sinister smile on his face. "Just know, that by proving that I did it, you've condemned me to die. I'm going to be executed... And it's all thanks to you... I hope you're happy. Just imagine, my mother crying, as my head rolls from the chopping block-" The bailiff nudged him, and frog-marched him out of the courtroom.

(Listen to this (Do not replay when it ends))

I just stared at him. "He's right... I just killed him, right there. He's a dead pony walking now..."

The judge shook his head. "That's that, then... I declare the defendant, Hoops Basket..."

NOT GUILTY.

Dashie pulled me into a big hug. "You did it! You saved Hoops!"

I nodded, and swallowed hard. "Yeah... But at the cost of another pony's life..."

"Hey, bub. Don't let it get to you." Horseshoe stood in front of me, and he had a smile on his face. "You did a good thing today. You saved the life of an innocent pony, and got rid of a killer. Be happy. Come on, lets get out of here."

I followed Dashie and Horseshoe out of the courtroom, but I wasn't really there. My mind was clouded, and I was unsure of whether I'd done something truly right or not.

"Sure, I've saved Hoops... But I just put another pony to death... I... I don't know what to think right now. Am I a savior... Or a murderer?"

I felt a hoof connect with my side. "Hey, Kyle... Somepony wants to talk to you." Dashie had a big grin on my face. The pony in question was none other than Hoops.

(Listen to this)

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Hey..."

I grinned. "Hey. How does it feel to know that you're free again?"

He smiled. "Pretty good. Thanks for going through all of that for me. I don't know how to thank you. Even after everything I did, you still helped me."

I shrugged. "Hey, it's what I do. I knew that you couldn't have killed anypony. You just don't have it in you."

He chuckled a bit, and nodded. "Yeah, I really don't. Still... How did you manage to figure all of that out?"

"Logic." I looked at Dashie and Horseshoe. "I had a little help, too. You should be thanking all of us, not just me."

He nodded to them. "Well, thank you all, then. And Kyle..."

I cocked my eyebrow. "Yeah?"

He hung his head. "Sorry. For everything."

I clasped my hand down on his shoulder, and smiled. "No problem, dude. Lets just put all of that behind us..." I let go, and held out my hand for a hoofshake. "Friends?"

He stared at me, and then to my hand. He smiled, and it widened until it was ear-to-ear. He grabbed my hand, and shook.

"Friends."

Yay! Happy ending. So, I bet none of you saw that coming, huh? If any of you guessed anything like "Dumb-Bell" or "That pony Hoops was with in that episode" or anything like that, then congratulations, you've solved the case! I hope you all had as much fun reading that as I had writing it. If it seems at all weird anywhere, blame the fact that I decided to write this at 3:30 in the morning. INSOMNIA, YAY. And I hate going back and changing things I write, so... Yeah. WELL. THAT WAS FUN. Maybe I'll finally find something productive to do with my time... Maybe, do my homework? Yeah, right...

Chapter 40: Troubled

CHAPTER 40

(Listen to this)

"Oh.... Where am I?" I remembered going home after the trial, and then having a little celebration, and then going to sleep. "Am I dreaming?"

I looked around, and I didn't see anypony at first, but on my second gaze over the room, I saw two ponies, one with his head on a block of wood, the other... A unicorn with an axe. The one with his head on the block looked very familiar.

"Dumb-Bell?"

He turned his head, and looked at me, smiling like a maniac. "Oh, hey there, killer..."

I cocked my eyebrow. "What did you just call me?"

His smile widened. "You heard me... You know what this is, right? This is my end. This is what you did to me. How does it feel to know that you're the reason a pony is going to die?"

I furrowed my brow, and frowned. "It's... Not bad. I don't care."

He let out a laugh, and I was pretty darn surprised. "Oh, but I think you do, Kyle. I'm going to be killed. And how do you know I really did it? Sure, you had all of that evidence, but there's no way to be one-hundred percent sure... For all you know, I could be innocent, and you've killed me."

"He's right... Oh man, I can't believe I went through with all of that... I killed him."

He chuckled, and I saw the executioner pony move a little bit. "Right. You killed me, and it's too late for you to do anything about it. Congrats, murderer."

I tried to move my hands up to my head, but I found that I couldn't move, and when I tried to close my eyes... I couldn't do that either. I saw the executioner raise the axe into the air.

Dumb-Bell moved his head into the proper position, and closed his eyes. "Well, I'm done... Goodbye."

I felt my eyes widen, and time seemed to slow down, as the axe slowly fell towards his neck...

(Stop the music)

"AH!" I sprung up from my sleep. I was covered in sweat, but I felt really cold, and I was breathing heavily.

"Kyle, are you OK? I've been trying to wake you for ten minutes now!" Dashie's eyes were wide, and she looked just as scared as I probably did. I cleared my throat, and tried to regulate my breathing.

"I'm... I'm fine, I just... Had a really bad nightmare." I shook my head, and let out a sigh. I checked the clock on my nightstand... 5:30am. "I didn't mean to wake you up, Dashie..."

She chuckled, and shook her head. "Nah, I needed to get some early morning training in anyways. No problem... Are you sure you're OK? I mean, you're sweating..."

I wiped my forehead, and shook my head. "I'm fine, don't worry about me... You know I hate it when I make others worry about me. It makes me feel guilty."

She nuzzled my side a little bit, and crawled out of bed. "Alright, well, I'm gonna head out. Try not to let whatever's bothering you get to you too much, OK? I'd hate to see you have a mental breakdown."

I chuckled, and nodded. "Alright, I won't go bonkers. I think I'm just gonna sit here and think for a little while..."

She closed the door behind her, and I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. I rubbed my face with my hands, and let out a long sigh.

"Dumb-Bell is going to die... And it's because of me... But I did save Hoops, who was innocent... But what if Dumb-Bell was innocent too? UGH! I can't stand these conflicting emotions... What do I do...? A part of me says to just deal with it, but another says that this is all my fault... Maybe I shouldn't have just jumped on the case just because I thought Hoops didn't do it because he didn't have the guts... That was a pretty stupid move on my part. I've really gotta start thinking my decisions over more..."

I leaned back, and put my hands on my head. "Ugh... I'm an idiot. I am SUCH an idiot..." I climbed out of bed, and cracked my back, and my neck. "I screwed up big-time. I practically killed somepony..." I looked at my hands, and closed my eyes. "Dammit..." I clenched my hands into fists, and I felt them shaking. "DAMMIT! I always fuck everything up! What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I do anything right?!" I clasped my hands over my head, and slammed myself against a wall. "FUCK! I... I don't know what the hell I've done. I... Shit..." I fell back down onto the bed, and just sat there, my head hung low, staring at the floor.

"I killed him... Dammit. Just... Dammit."

I heard the door squeak a bit, and I saw Scoots trying to hide behind the door. I let out another sigh, and beckoned for her to come sit on the bed with me, which she did, albeit a little reluctantly.

"Dad... What's wrong?"

I pulled her into a hug, and rested my head on her shoulder. "Oh Scoots... I really screwed up... I..."

"Dad?"

I felt my dam break, and I started bawling my eyes out. "Scoots... I've killed somepony." She let out a small gasp. "No, I don't mean like stabbing them... I got them proven guilty for murder in court. They're getting the death sentence..."

Scoots pushed away from me, and just stared at me. "Yeah... But he was a murderer. You did the right thing, Dad."

"I don't know... I mean, what if he wasn't guilty?"

Scoots giggled, and shook her head. "Come on, really. With your intuition? I doubt that you were wrong... If it makes you feel any better, I'll sit here with you for a little while."

I nodded, and hugged her again. "Thanks, kiddo. You really are too good to me."

She nuzzled my cheek. "I could say the same for you."

And we just sat there for most of the morning, hugging. It made me feel better, yes, but I was still feeling very troubled by the fact that I'd put somepony on death row.

"I hope I can get over this... Otherwise, I'll cringe every time I look in the mirror."

Chapter 41: Pondering

CHAPTER 41

I stuffed my hands in my pocket, and looked around at the cloud buildings surrounding me. "Ah, Cloudsdale... It's much nicer when you're not investigating a murder."

Hoops chuckled, and nodded. "Yeah. It feels good to be out of that Detention Center. It was freezing in there..."

For some reason, I felt like I was being watched. I shrugged the feeling off as paranoia, and hummed the theme song. You know what I'm talking about. Everypony always hummed it, so I knew it wouldn't be weird.

"So... Kyle... What exactly was your home planet like?"

I shrugged. "Earth... Eh, it's not that bad. I mean, sure, people killed each other, and there was crime, but what world doesn't have that? Really, it was a nice place. Beautiful landscapes, nice people... I was just one of the unlucky saps who was born and raised in one of the more not-so-favorable places there, with a load of bad people and stuff like that. But if I had a choice between Earth and Equestria, I'd choose Equestria. This is just where I belong, y'know? Even though I was born on Earth, I just never fit in. I didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. Apparently I was right. Look at what I have here! A family, a good job making music, and I've even gotten to use my skills in law here and there. It's wonderful here... I wouldn't trade my life here for anything."

Hoops just stared up at me. "That's, uh... Pretty deep."

I chuckled a bit. "Sorry about that. But when it comes to the topic of my life here, or Equestria in general, I'm pretty passionate about it."

He cocked his eyebrow. "Uh-huh... So, how much do you know about Equestria, exactly?"

I started rubbing my chin, trying to think of all the facts I knew. "Well, I know that it was founded by Celestia and Luna a really long time ago, and that their first castle was in the Everfree Forest, where The Elements of Harmony had their standoff with her. I also know that Equestria was terrorized by Discord a while back, he was turned to stone, but some chaos, caused by three fillies who won't be named, released him, but The Elements banished him to his stone prison again. And that's your history lesson for the day."

Hoops just stared at me. "And... You know all this from ponies telling you and books?"

I ended up looking to the side on impulse. "Yeah..."

Hoops nodded, but it was in a suspicious manner. "Alright then..."

"Dammit. Why do I have to be such a show-off?"

"Hey, what's wrong?" I'd been hanging my head the entire time we spoke, so I guess I looked a bit depressed.

"Nothing, I'm fine... Just something that's been eating at me, is all. I'll get over it."

He looked back in front of himself, and I could tell he was focusing on walking to try and not look worried. "Alright, if you say so."

"I've gotta stop letting this get to me... Ugh. It's just a court case, Kyle. You did the right thing... Or... Dammit. I just can't get over this."

Hoops waved goodbye, and headed off to his home, and I was left in Cloudsdale, alone, with nothing but my thoughts.

"Ah, Kyle. So we speak again."

... And Torrentican. Of course.

"Torrie... Please, just go away. I'm not in the mood..."

"Oh, but you are. How does it feel, knowing you've killed? Albeit was inadvertent, but you've still killed. You have blood on your hands now."

I put my hands on the back of my head, and let out a long, stressed sigh. "Just fuck off. Seriously."

His evil laughter echoed through my mind. "Quite the angry one today, aren't we? What, can't handle a little death? And here I thought you were the big, bad hero! Oh, you've got me shaking in my boots, you do! I bet you couldn't even kill me if you wanted to."

I scoffed, and I felt my frown deepen. "I could. You're not even a person, Torrie. You're just a monster. I've got no problem with killing monsters."

"Sure you don't. Face it, you'd hesitate. All you do-gooders always hesitate before you kill something, as if to pay them final respects or something. You can't just kill for the sake of killing. It goes against human nature!"

I facepalmed, and slowly shook my head. "Torrie, you just don't understand. To overcome those instincts of murder and killing is a great feat, and I'm proud to say I've managed it. Sure, I'm still a little bloodthirsty, but isn't everyone every once in a while? I mean, look at Sean. He's good, yet he's gotten urges like that before, I'm sure of it. Now would you bugger off, or would you like to lose at another game of logic chess?"

"Oh? Well, I've got a little plan for you... But not now. I'll just let you wallow in guilt and regret for a little while longer... Have fun with your life. You've only got a little bit of it left."

I spat on the ground, and glared ahead of me. I knew he could see it. "Fuck you, Torrentican. I'm not dealing with any of your shit. Whatever you have to throw at me... Bring it on."

"Ha! Oh, you won't be so confident when you first see what it is... But I have to go. Preparations and all that..."

I felt the mental connection sever, and I noticed that my arms were shaking, my fists were clenched, and I was gritting my teeth. I was about to go into a blind rage. I controlled my breathing, and tried to calm down.

"OK..." Thankfully, the voice in my head was my own. "Calm down, Kyle... Don't freak out... Alright... But what is it that he's planning? I know I could probably beat it, but... I can't even imagine what he'd try. It's worrying, really... He'd better stay away from my family, or my killing him will be the best way out on his part..."

I spent the rest of the day wondering just what exactly Torrie was planning, but I couldn't think of anything at all. I was worried, and I felt my paranoia creeping up on me. I was already stressed out enough by the fact that I'd had a pony killed, but to top it off, a crazy villain decided to try and pull something on me. Again. And all I could do was lay in wait until he sprung his trap...

Chapter 42: Shopping, and Arguing

CHAPTER 42

*Yawn*

I sat up, and I realized that I'd slept on the couch. "Oh shit, what'd I do?" if you're married, and you're sleeping on your couch, you know you messed up big time.

"Morning, Kyle." I looked towards the stairs and saw that Dashie was awake. She was looking at me with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"Alright, what'd I do?"

Dashie cocked her eyebrow. "Whaddya mean? You didn't do anything."

I shrugged. "I was sleeping on the couch, so I assumed it was because you made me. I've really gotta stop drinking so much. I can't remember ANY of last night."

Dashie gave me a little wink, and turned to walk into the kitchen for breakfast. "Too bad. It was fun." She wiggled her flank a bit, and I felt a stupid grin creeping across my face.

"Yes. Just... Yes. Sometimes, this seems too good to be true. I don't care if this place is a cartoon on Earth, this is awesome! Dat flank... Oh man, I spent way too much time on the internet back then. All those memes and sayings are permanently etched into my mind..."

"Kyle? What do you want for breakfast?" I heard Dashie rummaging through the refrigerator. I walked into the kitchen, and leaned down a bit to look in the fridge.

"Uh..." I scanned over the contents, and didn't really see anything I was craving, so I just grabbed a sandwich. "Eh, it'll do. Forget society's rules of what you eat, and when." Dashie giggled a bit as I stuffed my face. I hardly ever ate breakfast, and when I did, I was a lot hungrier than I seemed.

"So, anything you want to do today? Maybe we could go hang out with Hoops?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. You know how I am, leave the house, and wing it. Heh, wing, and I'm talking to a pegasus. Oh, how puntastic..." Dashie let out another small giggle. "Dashie, if I ever say something as stupid as that ever again, hit me in the face as hard as you can." Before I knew it, her hoof connected with the side of my head, and I lurched sideways a bit. "Ack! What the hell?"

"You said something stupid." She had a trouble-making smile on, and I just furrowed my brow.

"Har-har-har. Very funny. Now then... How about we go shopping? Honestly, I just think we need to get more food."

Dashie nodded. "Right. That fact's pretty obvious, since you're eating a sandwich for breakfast."

"Hey, I don't need no rules telling me what I can eat, and when. Now just lemme finish eating, and we can get going."

"Hm... What exactly do I wanna get...?" Here we go, I'm talking to myself again. That's what happens when I concentrate. Dashie nudged me in the side. "Hm?"

"You're talking to yourself again."

I rubbed the back of my head. "Right... Sorry. Now, I think I want some pears." The Doctor would be disappointed in me right now.

Dashie rubbed her chin a bit. "Uh... I think the pear cart is over there. Next to Applejack's cart. They always argue over one thing or another."

"Great. Any money says we stumble upon an argument."

And of course, as soon as we got a little closer, I heard an argument over the buzz of the crowd. I knew it...

"... Come on! Y'all can't really believe that pears 'r better 'n apples, can ya?" I almost facepalmed. An argument over opinions. Wow.

The pony at the pear cart looked pretty annoyed. "But everypony loves pears! I don't understand what all this fuss is about. Just let them buy what they want, which is obviously pears!"

"This is so stupid. I'm gonna fix this right now."

I walked up to the pear stand, and leaned down on it, glaring at the stallion running it. "You'd best be quiet. Applejack is one stubborn mare. And you're using sheer opinion in your argument, you're doomed to fail."

he chuckled, and shook his head. "Oh, but I think you have no idea what you're talking about." I felt my brow furrow at that.

"You wanna start an argument with me, pal? You just made your last mistake..."

(Listen to this)

I cracked my neck, and smiled. "Now, using opinions in an argument is dumb enough, but trying to use them as the main base of the argument is just plain stupid. And to top it all off, you're up against one of the most stubborn ponies to ever live, and she's got pride and livelihood backing that up, fueling her argument even more. And I swear, every single pony here in Ponyville that I've ever met, I've seen eating a Sweet Apple Acres apple countless times. I've never seen a pony around here eating a pear." I crossed my arms, and the pear salesman just swallowed hard, and tried to look past me.

"Uh... Nopony listen to him! I'm sure you all love pears! Come on, step right up-"

"Hold it." I felt my smile widen. "Now your just ignoring me. That means you're just plain rude. Nopony wants to buy anything from a rude stallion," I turned around to the small crowd that was gathered around the argument. "do you?"

I heard a collection of "no"s, and I looked back at the pear guy, who was starting to sweat.

"Well, I think that answers my question." I leaned in even closer to him, and his pupils shrunk to pinpricks. "Now, I have a question for you: Are you gonna shut up, and let business go on as usual, or am I going to have to further out-argue your sorry flank? Your choice..."

His eyes flitted around, looking at all the ponies glaring at him, then to Applejack, who looked pretty smug, and then to me. "You... Who do you think you are?"

I leaned back a bit, and cocked my eyebrow. "I'm amazed you don't know about all of my professions. I assume you know that I'm Kyle Bucy?" He nodded. "Well, add 'Ace Attorney' onto the end of that. As a matter of fact..." I dug through a nearby rubbish bin, and pulled out a newspaper. I looked at the front page, and chuckled a bit. "Read this." I slapped it down on his cart, and he stared at it, reading aloud.

"'Kyle Bucy, whom all of you know to be one of the few Humans in Equestria, managed an amazing triumph in the Cloudsdale Court of Equestrian Law yesterday, having proved his defendant, Hoops Basket...' Not Guilty for murder?!" He looked back up at me, and I just nodded.

"You just tried to argue with a guy who's skill is arguing." He stared at me for a few seconds, until he fell over, unconscious.

(Stop the music)

Dashie trotted back to my side, staring at the pony I'd argued into unconsciousness, then up at me. "You... Really did that, didn't you?"

I let out a little laugh, and nodded. "Yep. He'll be fine, I just made him go a little nuts is all."

"Whoo-wee! Well Ah'll be darned, you done knocked 'im out cold jus' by yellin' at 'im!" Applejack tossed her hat up in the air, and caught it on her head, giggling the entire time. "Now Ah'm gonna get all th' business! Ya know what?" She handed me a burlap sack. "Here. Have a free sack 'a apples, free 'a charge."

I took the bag. "Thanks, AJ. And don't worry about it, anything to help a friend. And it feels good to get into an argument. Helping you was just an added bonus." We all had a good laugh, until AJ said "goodbye" and went back to managing her cart. Dashie and I headed off to continue our shopping.

"Why is it that everywhere you go, something crazy happens?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Craziness follows in my wake, I guess. Why, isn't it fun?"

Dashie giggled, and nodded. "Oh, it is. I was just wondering, is all."

The rest of the day went by normally, but I had an extra spring in my step. I'd managed to push Dumb-Bell into the back of my mind, but the issue was still there.

Chapter 43: The Apple And The Tree

CHAPTER 43

Another day, and nothing to do. I was doing a decent job at keeping Dumb-Bell out of my thoughts, and I was actually relaxing for once in my life, just sitting on the edge of a cloud, swinging my legs, staring at the world below me.

"So. Bored... I need something to do."

I looked up at the sky. It wasn't too cloudy, save the occasional cloud, and it was a nice, warm day.

"Huh. It's actually pretty nice out. I've really gotta learn to just slow down and look at things, and just chill. Everyone always did tell me I was always in a rush, and working too hard..."

"Something on your mind?" I sprung back into a more normal sitting position, and looked at the pegasus in front of me. It was Fluttershy.

"Oh, hey Shy. Nah, I'm just trying to relax. I'm getting a little anxious though. I need something to do."

Fluttershy smiled, and I knew she had something for me. "Well, I could use a little help with..." Her face turned really red. "Something..." Oh, how blatantly obvious. She's into somepony.

I cocked my eyebrow. "What, or should I ask who, may it be?" I grinned, and she blushed even worse, hiding behind her mane.

"Oh... My... Is it really that obvious?"

I nodded. "Oh, totally. I can read you like an open book."

Fluttershy stayed silent for a second, until she giggled. "I should expect that from you. You're an attorney, after all."

I shrugged. "Eh, it was obvious anyways. So, what is it you need? I'm pretty sure I could help."

She looked around, as if she expected somepony to be listening in, and leaned in next to my ear to whisper to me. "It's Big Macintosh..."

"No. Friggin'. Way."

I blinked, and stared at her for a second. "Did you just say that it was Big Mac?"

She nodded. "Yes. I just don't know how to ask him out on a date. We've been spending time together as friends lately, but I just don't know how to get any closer to him."

I had to resist the urge to facepalm right there. "Alright, I shouldn't tell you this, but did you know Big Mac has a thing for you? He has for a while now."

Fluttershy looked shocked. "He does?"

"How oblivious can one pony be?" I nodded. "Yeah, he does. You should just outright ask him!"

Fluttershy blushed, and lowered her head a bit. "Well... I don't really know what to do for a date. I'm not exactly 'in the loop' with the dating world..."

And thus, I couldn't resist the urge anymore. My palm met with my forehead, and I let out a groan. "Alright... I'll come with you, and I'll help you out. But after you ask Mac out, you're on your own."

She smiled, and grabbed me under my arms, and started carrying me to Sweet Apple Acres, babbling about how I'm the best friend ever.

"Everypony I know is completely insane."

After we landed, I walked up to the door of the farmhouse, but I noticed that Shy had stopped following me, and had instead decided to hide in a nearby bush. I rolled my eyes, and pulled her out by the scruff of her neck. "Come on now, don't be getting cold hooves now."

Fluttershy's eyes were closed tight, and she was obviously freaking out. "B-But what if he says no?! What if I ruin the friendship we have?!"

I shook my head. "Jeez, Shy, you really need to stop being so worried and take a risk every now and again. Now come on, just ask him out! It's not that hard! Just knock on the door, and just say 'wanna go on a date with me?'"

I put her down, and she took a deep breath, and walked up to the door... And darted back off to the bush.

"... Really? I know that she's shy, but come on! Luna give me strength..."

I dragged her back to the door, and knocked on it, and pushed her right in front of it. "There ya go! Now then, I'm outta here!" I ran off, and hid in the same bush Shy was using. Big Mac answered the door, and Shy just looked up at him, as he just looked down at her.

"Well howdy Fluttershy, what brings you here t'day?"

She shrunk down a bit, and only managed a slight "eep." The urge to run out there and just tell Mac myself was starting to get to me.

Big Mac cocked his eyebrow. "Uh... Well, alright then. If'n ya' don't need t' say nothin'-"

"Wouldyougoonadatewithme?!"

"Woah. Pinkie Pie would be proud." Big Mac just stared at Shy, and I could see his cheeks turning a bit more red than usual, whereas Shy's face was completely red all over. Mac's jaw hung slack, and the sprig of wheat that he was usually chewing lay at his hooves, forgotten.

He rubbed the back of his head, and stuttered as he tried to gather an answer. "Uh... Ah' mean... Er..."

Shy stood up, and hung her head. "It's OK, if you don't want to, I understand..."

Mac violently shook his head. "No! Fluttershy, Ah'..." He took a deep breath. "... Eeyup."

Shy fell onto her haunches, and looked up at him. "You mean..."

He smiled, and helped her stand up. "Ah'd love t' take ya' out on a date one day, unless ya' wanna go now."

"Holy crap that was smooth."

They held hooves, and started down the path together, and I decided to follow and watch how their first date went. No, I am not creepy, I just was curious...! OK, I'm creepy. So sue me. They walked into town, but they didn't just stop at a restaurant or anything, they just walked and talked, and I was too busy trying to stay hidden that I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. They eventually stopped in the park, so I sat on a bench near them, and picked up a newspaper, using the age-old disguise that everyone knows. Mac and Shy just made small-talk for a little while, and nothing really eventful happened. They just talked, and occasionally stopped to look at the sky or out over the lake. It was really lovey-dovey, and it worked for them perfectly. But then, things got interesting. The date was just about over, and they both stood up to leave.

"I'd love to do this again, Big Mac... I mean, if that's OK with you..." Fluttershy smiled, and lowered her head a bit, and Big Mac just chuckled.

"Ah'd love to too." Then, Shy brought her head back up, and stared into his eyes, and started to lean in, slowly. "Fluttershy...?"

Their lips grew closer, and closer, and closer, until... Shy moved her head to the right, and rested it on Mac's shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "I'll see you later, Big Mac."

"OH COME ON!"

Chapter 44: The Dark Descent, Part 1

CHAPTER 44

I was sitting on my couch, trying to relax a little bit for once. I felt terrible that day, and I just wanted to rest a little bit, and hope that I feel better.

"Man, I've really gotta take better care of myself."

I laid back on the couch, and looked out the window of my cloud home, looking at all of the other clouds roll by, and trying to match them to animals or items or anything, really.

"Oh Kyle~..."

Oh no... "Torrie, please, for the love of- Would you just go away?"

"No. I told you I had a plan for you, didn't I? And I think you're going to love it..."

I crossed my arms, and let out a sigh. "Ugh... Alright, go on ahead, do your worst, see if I care."

"How considerate of you."

I suddenly felt very lightheaded, and my vision began to blur. "What... The... Hell?" I put my hand on the side of my head, and I started swaying back and forth. "What're you doing to me?!"

I heard mad laughter ring through my head, and I fell back down on the couch. Everything was swaying back and forth, and pulsating.

"Hehehe... Now you just sit there, and enjoy what I have in store for you, you miserable little whelp."

I couldn't make a witty comeback, as I'd fallen over, and blacked out.

(Listen to this)

"Ugh... What the-?!" I sprung upwards. I was laying on the floor... But I wasn't in my living room. I was in some old, musty room, with cobblestone walls, and a wooden floor. There was a single, old-style door, a table, a bed, and a dresser. I was standing on a dirty old rug. "Why does this seem... Familiar...?"

I heard Torrie's evil laughter in my head. "Oh, you'll find out... I'll just leave you to it, Kyle. Have fun..." I decided to leave the room. I was in an old hallway, with a window to my left, with a table under it. On the table, sat a lantern. Something clicked in my mind.

"No... No. No, he didn't... No fucking way."

More evil cackling, and I felt my eyes bulging. "Yes, I did. I've locked you in the deepest recesses of your mind. You know that little spot in your mind where you shove things you want to forget? You're there. All your worst fears, your most crushing moments, your most evil deeds... All of them reside here, and you're going to relive each and every one of them."

I rubbed my hands on my face, and shook my head. "Oh no... I can't believe this... And lemme guess, if I die in here, my body just goes 'kaput' on the outside?"

"You're a clever one. Exactly. Now, you go off and have your fun. I'll see you in hell..." I felt the mental link sever, and I was on my own.

"I would have preferred his company over the silence... Oh well..." I went back into the first room, which was obviously a bedroom. I searched the dresser, and I got a single tinderbox, and a small flask of oil.

"Great... I just HAD to love Amnesia back on Earth... I hate myself sometimes."

I heard something move on the floor above me, so I tried to quiet my footsteps, and I kept the lantern off. The hallway was barren, asides from two doors on each side at the very end.

"I guess I'd best get this over with."

I walked down the hallway, but my vision was being very strange. Everything was pulsating and crawling, and my head hurt a little bit. I ignored it, and checked the door on the left end of the hall. It was a small room, with a few dressers, a cupboard, and some old chairs. After I turned the room upside-down, I'd found two tinderboxes, and a large potion of oil. But when I checked the next room, it was a library, lit with only one candelabra.

"What the heck...?"

I looked on a small table near the door, and there was a little note on it.

"'Knowledge will open your path...' What the- Oh! I remember this! Just look for the books that are sticking out a bit... Sheesh, a puzzle, straight off the bat."

I ran my hands over the bookshelves, the light in the room helping my head, and I felt my vision beginning to regulate. I felt a book jutting out. When I pulled it, I heard a metallic clank, followed by the sound of chains on a pulley system. I rushed around the room, looking for more books, yanking them all off of the shelves, and after doing that for a little under a minute, I heard a loud BANG, and white washed over my vision, slowly fading out, and I saw one of the bookshelves sliding out of the way, revealing a large, stone passageway.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Jackpot."

I headed down the passage, but it was almost pitch black, so I turned on the lantern, holding it out in front of me as far as my arm could extend. The hall slowly became narrower as I continued down it, to the point where I had to shuffle sideways to make any progress.

"Man, it's a bit of a tight squeeze... Who's the idiot who built this place?!"

After another five minutes of awkward shuffling, the passage opened into a small room with a door and a single torch for light. I put out the lantern, and opened the door a crack, looking through to the room beyond. It was a small meeting hall of sorts, with a slightly large table in the center, chairs strewn about the room. Someone, or something, had been busy tearing the place apart. There were a few paintings here and there, all crooked and torn. I headed in, and closed the door behind me.

"What a dump... Wait a second..." I looked out the window, and I saw... Pine trees. "OK, no way this is England, and that means I can't be in Brennenburg. So where am I? Asides from the obvious fact that I'm in my own mind. I'm both confused, and intrigued at the same time."

I looked back over the room again, but I didn't see anything useful. There weren't any doors, save for the one on the other side of the room, so I assumed I just had to pass through, which I did. Then, the room shook, and I almost fell over. The window shattered, meaning I had a way out.

"Oh hell yeah! I'm outta he-" I almost jumped straight out of the window, but when I looked down, I saw red, fleshy muck all over the ground, and forest stretching for miles around me. "... Alright, I guess I'm not going that way. Dammit- Wait, what's this?" I saw a small piece of paper sticking out of the bookshelf next to the desk I'd climbed over. I grabbed it, and skimmed over it.

Dear Diary,

I have finally convince Fluttershy to come in for testing and experimentation, promising her that she would be stronger, and able to defend herself if anything were to attack her. How very gullible of her. I plan on only making a few subtle changes, maybe giving her a new leg or two, and replacing her wings with those of a griffon, as their wings are larger and stronger than the wings of most pegasi. She will be the first of many experiments, all performed on those I call my closest friends. Imagine, all of the Elements of Harmony, made even better, through science! It will be wonderful, I'm sure of it. I must leave, and make necessary precautions for the surgery.

Twilight Sparkle

I stared at the paper, looking it over a few more times, unable to believe what was written on it. "Holy shit. Is this gonna be the 'crazy-ass doctor' scenario? Knowing my mind, it will..." I let out a sigh, and slipped the paper into my jacket's inside pocket.

"This is gonna be a long day..."

That's right. No monsters... At least, not yet. I think you have a pretty good idea of what, or should I say, who the monsters are going to be, though... Holy hell, I really am insane... All I can say is, when I start encountering said monsters... Please don't hunt me down and kill me. Please. But, in all seriousness, this is going to be similar to Amnesia in the sense that it has a slow beginning, but then picks up over time. So... Enjoy it, dammit!

Chapter 45: The Dark Descent, Part 2

CHAPTER 45

I'd wandered for only another ten minutes, only finding a few tinderboxes and vials of oil, nothing too interesting. I hadn't found any more notes, sadly. I wanted to figure this whole thing out.

"I can't believe I thought of these kinds of scenarios! What's wrong with me? Asides from the fact that I'm too brash and make stupid decisions. A lot. How am I gonna get out of here? And more importantly, what's going to get in-between me, and freedom?"

I stopped halfway through the hallway, and opened a door to investigate the room. Instead of just an empty room like I normally found, this one was much, much worse.

(Listen to this)

There were two dismembered and mutilated ponies, their faces frozen in fear before they were brutally murdered and cut apart. Their bodies were a sick greyish color, and flies crawled over them, feeding on the decomposing flesh. One of the ponies only had one eye, and his forehooves were missing, and his mane was torn out. The other only had one of her back legs, and her horn had apparently been snapped off, and she had been carved open and hollowed out in spots. I didn't know what was part of a sick experiment, and part of decomposition. I took a few steps back in horror, and I felt my head start pounding.

"What the hell happened to them?! Did Twilight do this?"

I turned around, when suddenly, a suit of armor had appeared right behind me. I flinched a bit, but inched my way around it, making sure not to let it out of my sight. But as soon as I turned to walk further down the hall, three other suits were blocking my way. I tried to push one of them out of the way, but the metal was searing hot. I yanked my hand away, and turned to walk back the way I'd come, but I was surrounded by suits of armor, and every time I turned around, they were inching closer to me. My head started throbbing, but then I heard the sound of wood creaking, and before I knew it, the floor broke from underneath me, and I fell to the floor below, landing hard on my back.

(Stop the "music.")

"Oh..." I rolled over, and pushed myself up. "That... Was too close... I'd rather have a sore back instead of being burned to death by posessed suits of armor."

I shook my head a bit, trying to ignore the dull headache I'd gotten, and the slight jolts of pain I'd get in my back every once in a while. I was in a ballroom, as I could tell by the fancy marble floor and wallpaper, which was torn in spots, and spattered with blood in others. There were no bodies in there, much to my relief, but it was still a little scary, what with the bloodstains all over the place, and several smashed tables and chairs scattered about the room. I looked up, and saw where I'd fallen through. It was close to the chandelier, which was dangling precariously, it's bolts creaking with each slight movement. I stayed clear of the area under it.

"Yeah, I don't feel like dying today. Or any day in the near future, for that matter."

I opened the door on the farthest side of the room, and peeked through into the hallway outside. It was short, and only had two doors, one halfway through, and one at the very end. I stepped into the hall, making sure to close the door behind me, and headed to the closest room. It was a simple bedroom, with just a bed, a cupboard, a dresser, and a desk with a note on it. I rummaged through the cupboard and dresser, but I only got a single tinderbox out of the deal. I had about seven at that point. I picked up the note, and I almost let out a little yelp when I read it.

They're after you. Remember what you've learned. Don't do anything too rash. Use your wits, Kyle. Be sneaky...

Shadow Weaver

"... That is extremely creepy... Shadow Weaver... Why does that name seem familiar? No matter. I need to get out of here."

I saw a small glint of pink in the corner of my vision, but when I turned around and lit my lantern, nothing was there.

"I'm going nuts... And I'm not sure if I'm serious when I think that or not."

I tried to hold out my lantern, and I noticed that my hands were shaking. I was absolutely terrified, and all I'd seen were a couple of dead bodies, and... I was attacked by possessed suits of armor. OK, not as surprising, but still. I never really got scared beforehand. Things only made me jump, or shocked me.

"What the hell am I gonna do...?"

I headed back into the hallway, and then into the room at the end. It was small, with a desk and a chest, with a few bookshelves. I didn't find anything at all, but when I crouched down to check the small compartment on the desk, I saw that there was an indent on the wall behind it.

"Well well well... What oh what does this desk hide from me..." I shoved the desk out of the way, and pushed on the indent a bit, and the section of wall fell away like nothing, revealing a small passage dug out of the stone behind the walls, and held up with small wooden timbers. It was just tall enough for me to crouch and crawl through. The passage stretched on for what seemed like miles, even though I knew it wasn't that long, and it was just my mind playing tricks on me. The rats and bugs scuttling around me were a little unsettling, but I was otherwise fine. Images of the two unfortunate ponies I'd seen in the bedroom kept flashing through my mind.

"I want to just shove them into the back of my mind, but I'm in the back of my mind, so I'd probably end up finding another corpse-filled room... I have no choice but to keep thinking about it..." I shuddered, and shook my head. I didn't need all of this stress. Just as I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic, the passageway ended, and a small opening led to a hole leading to another hallway. I jumped down, and I felt pain shoot through my knees.

"Oof! That was a bigger fall than I expected..." I rubbed my knee a bit, and looked over the hall. It was quite large, with six different rooms to go into. I went into the nearest one, the center left room, and of course, it was full of bookshelves, with one knocked over in the middle. I climbed over it, and there was a writing desk at the other end of the room, illuminated by a single candle. There was a note on the desk, and against my better judgement, I read it.

I have made quite a discovery today. It turns out, there is a magical force seeping through into our world, called "Shadow." It has strange qualities, and it seems to take control of creatures who have lost all their will to live, or who accept it. It corrupts their minds, and turns them into flesh-eating monsters. I decided to test this on Fluttershy after performing my experiments on her, and it has worked quite well. She doesn't attack me, and now, she seems to be able to make these terrible roaring noises, which I assume is either the Shadow, or some sort of side affect from my surgery. Either way, this is going very well. I've created a new, better defense than just measly guards. I've created a monster, that heeds to my every whim.

Twilight Sparkle

I stuffed the note in my jacket, and I shook my head. "What is wrong with me to make me think of things like this? Why did I make Twilight the evil scientist again...? I think it was when I saw that one episode when we saw her basement, with all that crazy machinery-"

SMASH

I froze in place, and huddled into the dark space under the collapsed bookcase. I heard hoofsteps outside of the room, and I realized that I'd forgotten to close the door.

"Oh no..."

I saw hooves round the corner into the room, and stop right in the doorway. "Where are you...? I just want to make sure you're not hurt... Come out, please..."

I almost screamed. That voice was too all too familiar.

"FLUTTERSHY?!"

Chapter 46: The Dark Descent, Part 3

CHAPTER 46

(Listen to this)

"Come on out now. Mama won't hurt you..."

I was shaking with fear. I didn't want to come out from under the bookcase, in fear of what Fluttershy may have become, and what she may do to me. All I saw was her hooves, trotting around the room.

"Alright... She'll just look around, and then walk out, and I'll be in the clear! Yeah, yeah, that's how this'll happen! That's how it always happens! I'm not gonna die... I'm not gonna die..."

Suddenly, Fluttershy's hooves stopped. Right in front of the spot I crawled into to hide. I froze, and I felt sweat begin to trickle down my face. I didn't dare even try to wipe it off.

"Where are you hiding? Please come out..."

I almost ended up responding, just because my mind was going a million miles a minute. I was panicking, I'm not afraid to admit that. What I was afraid of was the "whatever-Fluttershy-had-become" looking for me.

"I can't believe I thought of things like this! What the fuck is wrong with my head?!"

As luck would have it, I saw Fluttershy start to kneel down. She'd found me. I was doomed. But when she poked her head down to where I could see it, I almost screamed.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

She looked mostly the same, but her mane was dotted with spots of dried blood, and there were stitches running across her face, and all over her body. One of her eyes had the lids cut, and it was crooked, and moving around erratically. Her Cutie Mark was different, as was the color of her coat, and it was being held on with stitches. The Mark itself? A knife. When I looked her straight in the eyes, she had a warm smile on her face, but there was murder in her eyes.

"What did Twilight do to you?!"

Suddenly, the entire bookshelf was lifted up from above me, eliminating my hiding place. The Shadow had made Fluttershy very strong. "She made me better! Look at me, doesn't this look wonderful to you?! I'm stronger, faster, and I get praise from her all the time! She says I'm a great guard! What about you? What do you think?! Tell me! I mean, if that's OK with you..."

I took a few steps back, my mind racing again.

"Fluttershy is going to kill me. Twilight did this to her. I'm going to die. I'll never get out of here. I need help. I want to help them."

I shook my head, trying to calm down. I looked back at Fluttershy. My head was starting to throb. The very sight of her like that was making me lose my mind. "Listen, Fluttershy... This isn't you anymore! Twilight's changed you into something other than a pony. You're... You're a monster. Do you really think Twilight likes you that much? You're just another puppet!"

Fluttershy's expression dropped, and she crouched down, like she was going to pounce. "Not a pony, huh?" She took a step closer.

"Uh..." I raised my hands defensively, and stepped back.

"A monster, huh?" Another step closer.

"Shy, I'm just saying-" Another step back.

"A puppet, HUH?!" Another step closer. "What, am I not good enough for you? Was I ever good enough for you? Remember when I told you how I felt about you, and you did your best to push me away? Why? Just because I'm a pony? Aren't you the one who said 'love can blossom, no matter who it is between?' What happened to that?!"

I tried to take another step back, but backed into the wall instead. "Listen, we can talk about this!"

She gritted her teeth, and let out a snort. "Talking's over... YOU'RE..." She crouched a bit lower. "GOING TO LOVE ME!" She lunged at me, but I ducked under her, and sprinted out of the room as fast as I could.

(Stop the "music," listen to this now)

"Get back here you!"

I turned on my lantern, and ran through all the rooms, hallways, and corridors I could get to. I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going, and I didn't care. I just needed to get away from it as fast as I could.

"That's not Fluttershy anymore, not one bit. That's a different creature and personality entirely."

I kept running, even though my legs were starting to feel tired, and I tried to throw open another door. It was locked.

"No no no no no! FUCK!" I pounded my hand on it, and kept yanking the iron ring that was the doorknob.

"Where did you go?! Get back here!"

"It's Fluttershy at the Gala all over again!"

I kept yanking on the door, and I eventually started kicking it. Sadly, it was a few inches thick of pure wood. I wasn't kicking through that any time soon. I turned off my lantern, and instead settled with huddling myself into as small a shape possible in the corner, and I tucked my head into my knees.

"Make it go away... Make it go away..." I was completely terrified. I know I usually seem strong, but I was starting to break. I'd just seen dead ponies, possessed suits of armor tried to kill me, and now one of my best friends is a monster, and is hunting me down. I heard a door get smashed, so I jerked my head up in response. Fluttershy had smashed through a doorway really close to me, and was heading in my direction. It was only a matter of time...

"When I find you, I'm gonna lock you up, and then you'll be mine, ALL MINE!" Her maniacal laughter echoed through the halls, and I almost started crying, and I did start shaking violently. I'd gone past terror, to the point where I was mortified. I watched as Fluttershy inched closer and closer to me, not yet knowing I was there. But, she walked past me, and instead smashed down the door I'd been pounding on a moment ago.

"Oh Kyle~... Come out come out wherever you are..." I cringed at her tone on that last part. I hefted myself up into a crouch, and tried my best to sneak past her through the room she'd broken into. I snuck right behind her, and through the little room, and to the door on the other side, when...

*Thunk*

I accidentally kicked a book. Fluttershy looked right at me, and her twisted smile returned. "There you are!" She rushed towards me, so I started chucking everything in the room at her. Chairs, books, a bottle, and even a shirt. Anything to hold her off. Of course, all these things made her do was stagger back a little bit, and made her even angrier. When I threw the last book on the nearby bookshelf at her, I spun around and tried to open the door I'd been sneaking towards before, but I felt my heart sink when I heard the familiar clicking sounds of a lock against the inside of the wall.

"I've got you!" I felt a heavy hit against the back of my head, and I was out like a light.

(Stop the music)

(Third Person)

Fluttershy had Kyle slung over her back, and was carrying him down to the dungeon, like Twilight had asked be done to any intruders found. She was a bit sad, as she wanted to keep a new pet to replace all of her old ones, which Twilight had killed in experiments.

"Ngh..." Kyle stirred in his unconsciousness, and Fluttershy suddenly had an idea, but decided it had to wait until Kyle was in his cell.

"He looks very peaceful in his sleep... I wonder what Twilight will do to him? Maybe attach knives where his fingernails are? That sounds very dangerous..."

Fluttershy let out a little giggle at her own scheming. "Oh my, Twilight's beginning to rub off on me."

After getting Kyle to his cell and laying him on the pile of hay in the corner, she closed and locked the door, and then...

"Hush now, Quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, Quiet now,
It's time to go to bed..."

Well, I'll never look at Fluttershy the same ever again. Sometimes I really hate myself even though I'm having fun. This is one of those times... What the hell is wrong with me?

Chapter 47: The Dark Descent, Part 4

CHAPTER 47

(Listen to this)

"Oh... Not this again..." I rolled onto my back, and wiped my hand down my face. I was in a cobblestone room, laying in a pile of hay... And my only way out is a cell door, which is probably locked. "Great... Just. Fucking. Great."

I pushed down on my knees as I stood up, letting out a small grunt, but froze as I heard hoofsteps coming from a hallway leading into the dungeon I was in.

"Please don't be Fluttershy please don't be Fluttershy please don't be Fluttershy..."

Luckily, it wasn't. The... Whatever you want to call it that entered the room had an orange coat, and a messed up, filthy blonde mane. I knew who she was before she was turned into a monster. It was AJ. Her stetson was gone, and her mane had chunks torn out of it, and stitches running along the length of her torso... And one of her forelegs was white instead of orange. I wanted to throw up, but decided against doing anything that would make me seem scared.

"Well Ah'll be. Fluttershy actually caught ya'. Ain't that somethin'..." She stepped closer to my cell, and I felt my heart racing even faster. "Yer' scared, ain't ya'?"

I spit at her. "No. And you're not Applejack, you're just a figment of my imagination. Just some sick, twisted version of AJ that I created when I was bored one day."

AJ laughed, and shook her head. "Alright, whatever ya' say. Try tellin' yerself that when yer' on Twi's operatin' table." She turned and walked away, and I felt my blood run cold. She was right. Even if I was in my own mind, if I died...

I shook my head, dispelling the thought. "I just need to find a way out of here, and I'll be fine..."

I looked around, and I noticed that one of the bars near the ceiling was bent, and looked ready to break. I just needed something to break it with. I looked back at the pile of hay I was laying on.

"I wonder..."

I started tossing the hay aside, and sure enough, I found a hammer... And a small vial with a blue liquid in it. A Sanity Potion. And a small tuft of rainbow-colored hair. I knew where Rainbow Dash had been held. Maybe she's the one who tried to escape, and bent the bar.

"Thank you Dashie..."

I grabbed the hammer, and slipped the potion into my pocket. I noticed that I still had all of my oil and tinderboxes, and my lantern was sitting on the ground nearby. I picked it up, and hung it around my wrist.

"Wow. Real smart, Shy..."

I slid a box that was in the room up to the bars, and stood on it, beginning to hammer away at the broken part, until it broke off. It was still in pretty good shape. I tried to use it to pry the door open, but that didn't work.

"Dammit. I need a new plan... The walls are made of cobblestone... Maybe there's a weak spot..."

I felt along the walls, and sure enough, I found a spot where a few rocks were loose. I stuck the rod in a small wedge between a few of them, and started yanking them out of the wall. After I made a decently sized hole, I started jabbing away at the rest of the wall, until the hole was big enough for me to crawl through. I pulled myself through to the next cell, and the door was unlocked. Lucky me. At least, I thought I was lucky, until I heard hoofsteps in the hallway again.

"What in tarnation are ya' doin' in here t' make all that noise?!" I huddled into a corner, an peeked out through the bars to see AJ walking into the room, and when she noticed I was gone... She looked pretty angry. "Oh, so ya' think yer' gonna get away, huh? Jus' wait 'till Ah' find ya..."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I leaned away from the bars, and looked around for somewhere to hide. I needed to act fast. There was a bed in the room, but it didn't have a mattress, so it wouldn't hide me at all. I heard AJ's hoofsteps coming towards the cell I was in.

"Oh no..."

I pressed myself against the wall as best I could, and hoped the small patch of shadow I was hiding in would be enough. AJ looked through the bars, and didn't even bother to come in, since the door was closed. She must have assumed it was locked. She turned around, and started to search the other cells. I opened the cell door very slowly, trying to make no sound at all. I snuck behind AJ, and went down the hallway she came from, making sure to close the door behind me so she wouldn't see me.

"That was too close... I've gotta start being more careful."

I pulled out a few tinderboxes, and lit some of the torches hanging in the hall, standing in the light, my headache slowly fading. I heard AJ's muffled yells of frustration coming from the other room, and I had to stifle a chuckle. "Can't believe she didn't hear me."

Suddenly, her yells stopped, and her hoofsteps slowly moved somewhere, but because of the door, I couldn't tell where... Until the door to the hall started moving. It had locked itself when I closed it.

"Aha! I've got ya' now!"

I didn't have time to react, when the door was blasted off of it's hinges, and landed almost right in front of me. AJ had bucked the door down, and she was staring at me, and I knew she wasn't going to be as gentle as Fluttershy.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I spun on my heels, and ran full sprint down the hallway, and whipped out my lantern when I was out of the light of the torches. AJ's hoofsteps were gradually getting closer to me, since she was in better shape than me, being an athlete and all. I looked behind me, even though that's a big no-no in situations like this, and AJ was almost right on top of me.

"Yer' not gettin' away from me!" She jumped at me to tackle, but I ducked to the right, and slammed through a door, and slammed it shut behind me, hoping to buy a little time. I jumped into a cupboard, and turned off my lantern, staying as quiet as possible. I heard the door smash down, and AJ's hoofsteps entered the room. "Oh, don't think ya' can hide from me! Ah' know all yer' lil' tricks from Shy!"

I almost screamed right there. "Wait, does that mean she knows I'm hiding in here?!"

And, of course, the cupboard doors fly open, and AJ shoves me out, and bucks me down to the floor.

"So, how'dya wanna die...?"

"Old and with my family!" I scrambled to my feet, and ran out of the room, and down the hall again, AJ in tow. My back was hurting really badly, but other than that, I was fine. I rounded a corner, and it was another long corridor, with only one metal door at the end, I looked behind me, and AJ was catching up still, so I made a break for the door... But when I got to it, it was locked. I was trapped. AJ was racing towards me, and I had noway out... But then an idea dawned on me. I turned around to AJ, and started taunting her. "Come on! I dare you! Tackle me as hard as you can!"

She fell for it, and sped up. I dropped to the floor, and I heard the wooden frame of the door smash, plus the sound of AJ hitting the floor. I stood up, and looked at her. She was unconscious, thankfully.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"I have no idea what I would have done if she would have stayed awake..."

I stepped into the room and looked around. There was only a desk and a few crates. I checked in the drawer on the desk, and found three vials of green... Stuff. Laudanum.

"Thank Luna..." I swallowed all the contents of one of the vials, and I felt very warm inside, and that warmth spread to all of my injuries. I felt little pinpricks as my cuts an bruises healed. "That feels so much better..."

I felt very safe, for some reason. As if nothing would be able to hurt me in this room. I didn't want to leave. But when AJ started stirring in her sleep, I decided it would probably be within my best interests to leave, as to not be brutally murdered by a being of my own creation, in a way.

"I still can't believe I thought of all of this stuff... I've gotta start controlling myself more when I get bored. And as for Torrie... Oh, he's so dead for this."

I wondered just how I was going to get out. I didn't really know where I was going. I saw a note sticking out from under one of the crates, which I took, and read.

I've managed to escape. I hit her over the head with a crate, and I ran. I can hear them coming, they're going to capture me, and change me. There's a way out just down the hall, a secret passageway, it leads to the laboratory and main library, but there is a staircase there leading to the main hall. It's-

The rest of the note was smeared with blood. The writing was very neat, and obviously done by a unicorn. It was probably Rarity.

"Thanks, Rarity. I won't let your sacrifice go to waste."

I stuffed the note in my pocket, and kept pressing onwards.

Chapter 48: The Dark Descent, Part 5

CHAPTER 48

Fear not, faithful readers! Even though the keyboard on my laptop is broken, I still have a USB keyboard! I can still write! This is going to make gaming a bit of a problem, though... I need a new laptop. Soon.

(Third Person)

Kyle had been unconscious for almost a day at this point. Dashie had come home and noticed him asleep on the couch, and passed it off as nothing. But then he started screaming out in fear. She was scared witless, so she did the first thing that came to mind: She took him to Twilight.

"How long has he been like this Rainbow?"

Dashie shrugged. "I think he's been asleep for a few hours. He was like this when I got home, but he started screaming like he was being tortured. I tried to wake him up, but it's like he's stuck sleeping or something."

Twilight started flipping through books, and began to get more and more frustrated until she finally found the spell. Or at least something similar. "I think someone may have locked him in his own mind. He's reacting as if he were still awake, and he can't wake up. I've never seen this spell, but I've heard of it before. I could probably go in there and pull him out. I know the spell, I've practiced on Spike."

Dashie nodded vigorously. "Yes, please! I'm really worried about him..."

Twilight's horn began to glow, and she took a deep breath, slowly lowering it to Kyle's forehead.

"Wait. Can't you take me in too?" Twilight stopped, and stared at Dashie.

"Are you sure?"

Dashie nodded again, and Twilight started up the spell, the glow enveloping Dashie too. They both felt a tingling sensation, and then felt like they were being pulled apart. It wasn't painful, it was just a very weird pulling feeling. They both blacked out, and were pulled into the depth's of Kyle's mind.

Dashie was the first to wake up. She felt like she couldn't breath, but she didn't feel like she was choking. It was a really weird feeling. She saw Kyle walking down a stone corridor, but when she walked towards him, an unseen force wouldn't allow her to get close. All she could do was sit back and watch.

"Oh... Are we in?" Twilight stood up, and rubbed her head. "That really took it out of me- Hang on a second."

Dashie cocked her eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

Twilight closed her eyes, and her horn began to glow. Her eyes shot open in shock. "There's magic blocking us from actually getting to Kyle. He doesn't even know we're here. All we can do is sit here and watch... The magic is like a lock. We can get in, but we can't get close to Kyle, and now we can't get out until Kyle gets out."

Dashie nodded, and looked back to Kyle. He was reading something on a slip of paper he'd picked up, and then stuffed it into his jacket, saying something about Rarity and a sacrifice. "I can't hear him. I think he's trying to be quiet... He looks pretty spooked. What could be getting to him?"

Twilight's horn was glowing again. "Rainbow... You know that place in your mind where you push anything that makes you sad or scares you so you can forget about them?"

Dashie nodded again, and then her eyes widened. "You mean that's where we are? That part of Kyle's mind?"

"Mhm." Twilight stared at Kyle, who was now opening a door as slowly as he could. "I'm really worried. Who knows what's locked away here?"

"I don't know. He never really talks to me about his life before he came here. If I ever try to bring it up, he pretty much dodges the subject."

Twilight furrowed her brow, and slowly slipped into deep thought. "Well... There may or may not be remnants of his past here. The things we see will be things that he hated, was terrified of, or was deeply saddened by, or a combination of the three. I guess we're gonna find out."

(First Person)

(Listen to this)

I slowly opened the door, which led to a small room, consisting of four bookshelves, a desk, and a cupboard.

"Tee hee hee..." I looked around to locate the source of the voice, but before I knew it, a bookshelf was making its way towards me. I threw myself out of the way, and saw a pink blur race out of the room. I knew who it was, and I was terrified beyond imagining.

"Twilight got Pinkie too..."

I picked myself up, and opened the drawers on the desk, but before I could see what was in them, my lantern ran out of oil.

"Aw, dammit..." I'd lost some of my oil when Fluttershy knocked me out, and I used almost all of it to fill the lantern back up. I only had three vials of the stuff left. I decided that instead of using my lantern again, I'd just light the candles with a few tinderboxes. I had three left after that, and the room was well-lit. It made me feel a bit more comfortable, but I knew it wasn't safe anymore.

"The dark drives me nuts, but the light isn't safe... Man I hate it here."

I checked the drawers, and I got a single vial of that blue stuff. Sanity Potion. My head was hurting, so I decided to chug it down. My vision washed white, and my headache went away, my mind clearing. I could think straight, and I felt more alert. I searched around the room a bit more, and realized that there was a painting on the wall.

"Idea..."

I yanked it off of the wall, and sure enough, there was a small space behind it, with a lever... And a golden statue of a man, kneeling, his sword drawn, blade to the ground.

"Stephano!" I grabbed the little statue, feeling safer for some reason. "Well, I feel a bit better... Stephano, you're coming with me." I stuffed him into the chest pocket of my jacket, but he stuck out a bit. I didn't care. I pulled the lever, and the desk, and the floor beneath it, and the ceiling above it, and the wall behind it all began to shift, revealing a stone staircase leading upwards.

"Onwards and upwards... Allons-y." I took a deep breath, and started climbing up it. It was lit up by torches, and I kept looking behind me, expecting something to start chasing after me. I was scared, alone, and paranoid. I felt as if I were being watched.

"Damn this place is creepy... If only Stephano could actually talk. That'd supply more comfort."

I reached the top of the stairs, and there was a large metal door in front of me. There was a sign on it that said "Laboratory." I knew that I would probably run into Twilight soon. I swallowed hard, and opened the door.

(Stop the music)

(Third Person)

Twilight had a scared look on her face. "Was that pink blur Pinkie?"

Dashie nodded. "Yeah. That little laugh of hers... I recognized the voice. But why'd she drop a bookcase on Kyle? Is she trying to kill him or something? And if these are supposed to be things that make Kyle feel bad, why's Pinkie even here? I mean, she's the party pony! She makes everypony happy."

"I don't know, Rainbow. But I don't like what's going on. Not one bit. I think there's more to this than what we're seeing. I mean, this is the mind of a sentient being. There's bound to be loads of things here. We're only at the tip of the iceberg."

"Yeah, I get that, Twilight. It's just..." Dashie sat down on her haunches. "I feel like we're invading his privacy, you know? I mean, this is his mind, what right do we have to be in here? I know he's locked in here, but still. It just doesn't feel right, like we shouldn't be here. I feel like we're going to learn things we should never have learned..."

Twilight was surprised. Dashie was usually very eager to figure out things like this, that much was evident from the Mare Do Well incident a few years back. "Well, Rainbow, think of it this way: Even if we shouldn't learn them, at least we can learn more about Kyle, and his past."

Dashie's ears perked up. "Huh. You're right. I guess it's fine, but I'm still a little bugged by all of this. I just hope he doesn't get hurt."

Chapter 49: The Dark Descent, Part 6

CHAPTER 49

(Listen to this)

I crept into the lab, and it was very tidy, unlike the areas I was in before. The test tubes and beakers were lined up neatly, each filled with one substance or another. There were flecks of blood here and there on the floor, but it was otherwise spotless. I heard a door a few rooms away slam shut, and I knew I wasn't alone.

"This isn't gonna end well... Stephano, give me strength."

I patted the golden statue in my chest pocket, and carried on, turning on my lantern. I went into the next room, and I saw a purple blur run through another door, a bone-chilling laugh echoing through my ears.

"Was that Twilight?" I looked around, and only saw a few crates, and barrels. I stared at the barrels for a few seconds and scowled, but carried on. The only door was the one Twilight had run through. I felt myself start to sweat, but I went in anyways.

"You're following me, huh?" The voice echoed everywhere. I had no idea where she was. I didn't even see a blur. I was in a long hallway, with two doors on separate ends, a fancy rug stretching along both ways, the walls a golden brown. It looked safe enough, but it was obvious that it was otherwise. I headed to the left, deciding to follow the ancient rules of mazes: Always stick to the left.

"So, I'm about to see Twilight... Luna dammit. I'm not sure I'll even survive this encounter."

I was about to continue the thought, when I heard a loud explosion, and the ceiling above me collapsed. I just barely rolled out of the way. My ears were ringing, and my head was pounding again. I went to get up, but froze when I saw a pair of purple hooves in front of me. They disappeared after a few seconds, but I stayed on the ground for almost a minute, thinking she might still be nearby.

"I've been watching your every move, Kyle. What, did you think I was oblivious to the fact that you're here? What do you take me for, a fool? Oh, but I'll enjoy making you better..."

I stood up, and rubbed the back of my head. "Oh... Why're you doing this, Twilight?"

"Well, why don't you wait there for me? I'll be there to pick you up momentarily."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I heard her laughter again, and the sound of hoofsteps echoing from the door at the other end of the hall. I had no time to run, and nowhere to hide, so I just turned off my lantern and huddled into the corner, holding my knees, silently crying out of fear.

"Please no... Please don't let her see me... I don't wanna die... Please no..." I was terrified. Panic had taken over, and I had no control over myself. All I could do was weep and mumble like a frightened little child. I was going to die, and that's all there was to it. I felt my heart sink even lower when I heard the other door open.

"Oh Kyle~... Where are you~? I just want to help you... Come on out! Don't make me look for you. I promise I'll make your surgery much less painful if you give yourself up now..." Her low, demented giggle made me shake a bit.

"Oh no... Please don't see me please don't see me please don't see me please don't see me!"

But, as luck would have it, instead of coming my way, she turned and went into the door I'd entered the hallway from. I stood up, and stayed at a crouch, slowly making my way to the end of the hall, hoping that I didn't so much as make a single sound, lest Twilight hear me and catch me.

"Stop hiding from me!" I heard the sound of wood being smashed, and I assumed Twilight was destroying the crates and barrels in the room I'd passed through, thinking I'd either climbed into them, or hidden behind them. Luckily, I hadn't thought of that. "Where are you?!"

"Anywhere but here!"

I made it to the end of the hall, and went to open the door. It slowly made a creaking sound, and I froze in fear as I heard Twilight's knowing giggle come from behind me.

"So, thought you could sneak by me, huh?" I slowly turned around, terrified of what awaited me...

(Stop the music)

(Third Person)

Twilight fell onto her haunches, shocked and appalled at the twisted version of herself she'd just seen. "He... But... If this is Kyle's mind, that means he thought of me like that... What's wrong with him?!"

Rainbow put a reassuring hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Hey, maybe Torrentican made him think of those kinds of things? You know how twisted he is..."

Twilight swallowed hard, and nodded. "Y-Yeah, that has to be it. There's no way Kyle could think of anything as twisted as this! I mean, I'd never do anything to anypony!"

Rainbow nodded. "I know. Now just calm down. I mean, it's not that bad! Kyle hasn't gotten hurt, and I bet he won't do anything too stupid. It'll be fine, Twilight."

Twilight took a deep, shaky breath, and nodded in agreement. "Right. He wouldn't try and outright attack a crazy unicorn trying to hunt him down. I hope."

Rainbow looked back to the scene unfolding. Kyle and... THAT version of Twilight were talking, Kyle seeming to have something dawning on him, like he'd figured out everything, and why all of this was going on. "I hope so too... Well, he's not being attacked or anything. Maybe he talked some sense into you?"

Twilight nodded violently, a big smile on her face. "Yeah! I bet he did! Why, I'm sure any second now, he and I will start walking straight for an exit!"

She was somewhat correct.

(First Person)

(Listen to this)

"Twilight... Please, just tell me why you're doing this..." I kept staring at her. She wasn't changed, but I could see the evil and insanity brewing behind her eyes. Something had driven her insane. It had to have been The Shadow. it had taken her mind, and twisted it into a mere shell of it's former self. She was a madness-driven killer now, devoting her life to changing her friends. She looked completely normal, asides from the blood staining her coat and mane, both of which were messy and tangled. "You have to have a reason!"

"You want my reason?" Twilight's insane smile and tone faded to seriousness. "I've seen my friends try and fail so many things, and it broke my heart every time. I wanted to make them stronger. To make them better. And that's what I did! I mean, look at them now! You already saw Fluttershy and Applejack, they're perfect now! Stronger, faster... Better. They were weak, and I made them strong. I only want to do the same to you. I want to help you! Think, if I do this to you, how much easier would it be to beat Torrentican?"

I almost considered it, but I knew I was in my mind. It wasn't real. I shook my head, and furrowed my brow. "I won't subject myself to you just to beat him. I need to do it myself... Although, I would accept help from my friends. My real friends. I'm just locked in my head now. You're not Twilight. You're a sick, twisted visage of her."

Twilight glared at me, and hit me right in the nose. She didn't break it, but it hurt. "Is that real enough for you?! Would you listen to yourself? You're turning down one of the greatest offers you could ever receive! Well, it's not really an offer. Either you come quietly, or I make you come with me. Which do you choose?"

I contemplated this, and then, an idea formed. "Alright, I'll come quietly."

Twilight smiled, her anger fading. "Ah, so you see my reason... Well then, come with me."

I followed her through the door, and into a pitch black room.

"That's right, you think you've got me, Twilight... But you have no idea what's coming."

Chapter 50: The Dark Descent, Part 7

CHAPTER 50

(Listen to this)

Twilight led me through the halls of her castle, telling me everything she was going to do to me. Every word that came out of her mouth made me more and more terrified. She spoke of dismemberment, skin-swaps, new eyes... It disgusted me. I wanted to get away, by any means necessary. The though of just killing Twilight right there crossed my mind, but not even I had the heart to do that. She may have been a crazed killer, but she was still Twilight, in a way. It was like trying to decide to shoot a loved one who had turned into a zombie. You know it's you or them, but you can't bring yourself to pull the trigger. But there really wasn't any other way out, at least, not at that moment. I decided to give it more time.

"Just be patient, Kyle. You'll get out of here soon... Just keep on trucking. Think of everything waiting for you... Think about Dashie, think about your REAL friends, think about court... Think about getting to help Sean kick Torrie's ass again." After those thoughts, I couldn't help but smile. Twilight noticed this.

"Ah, I see you're finally realizing how wonderful your decision was." She gave me a smile in return, and it was enough to almost make me flinch. There was no innocence in that smile. Just malice, and insanity. A smile, something so happy, so pure, turned so evil and terrifying by the human mind. My mind.

"Right..." I crossed my arms and looked away, a few beads of sweat forming on my head. "I'm happy with my decision, yeah..." I patted the pocket on my chest I'd put Stephano in to make sure I still had him with me. Thankfully, I did.

"Ah, here we are..." Twilight opened a large metal door, revealing her lab. There were normal lab things, tables with chemicals and tubes and the such scattered about, an operating table, which was covered in blood, and... Limbs and skin hanging on the walls. I almost threw up, and my head was practically on fire now. I could feel myself going insane from all of this. "Now, lay down." She pointed to the operating table.

"I'm..." I rubbed the back of my head. "I'm having second thoughts. Would you mind explaining exactly what you'll do to me, in very great detail?" The gears in my head were turning. My plan was coming together. Twilight sighed, and turned around, gathering all of her thoughts and plans into one speech.

"Well, first I'm going to remove some of the patches of skin with little or no muscle underneath, and place muscle and other tissues there, to create a sort of natural armor." She tapped her hoof on her chin. I pulled Stephano out of my breast pocket. "Then, I will-"

"You ain't doing anything, PSYCHO!"

Time seemed to slow down as I slammed Stephano down on the back of Twilight's head, and she fell right down onto the ground... But she was groaning. She curled up, blood starting to run from her head. I could tell she was trying to muster some strength to get up. I started frantically looking around for an exit. There were only two doors: The one we'd come in through, and one on the other side of the room. I chose the one on the other side of the room, since going back would only mean a heightened chance of running into another monster.

"Gotta go... Gotta run..."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Everything still seemed to be in slow motion, but I could tell I was sprinting at top speed. I stuffed Stephano back into my pocket, and focused on the hallways ahead of me. Everything had a strange red tint to it, and my vision was pulsating and bending. My head felt like it would burst at any moment. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes from the pain, but I ignored it and kept on going, determination and willpower being my only source of energy.

"I have to..." I stumbled, and knocked over a stand with a pot on it. "Get out of here..." I looked behind me, only to see that the hallway was falling apart. Instead of the sky and trees outside, I saw black nothingness in the place of what was the castle. I picked myself up and tried to keep moving. Each footstep seemed to take an eternity, and the sounds rang at my ears. Images and scenes started to replace the walls and doors ahead. All of them were traumatic or harmful experiences from my life.

"What the...?"

Sounds started coming from the images and scenes. The sound of punches landing on my skin, the voices of all those who tormented me, the sound of a switchblade flicking from it's handle, the sound of a car making contact with a human being, and the resulting popping coming from that person's knees...

I was the victim in all of these things. Every single time I'd been insulted, attacked, injured, or anything of the sort... All of those memories were flowing back, taking control. I couldn't take it. I wanted to end it. I looked back to see the darkness catching up, all the scenes and images falling away into the void.

"I can't stand this anymore..."

Everything went quiet.

"I just want this to be over..."

The only thing I could hear was the sound of my heart racing, trying to pound it's way through my ribcage, threatening to stop beating at any time.

"I just want to die."

I stopped, and closed my eyes. I eventually felt the floor fall out from below me, and the feeling of rushing air across my body. I was falling into the abyss. It was all over at that point.

(Stop the music)

(Third Person)

Rainbow fell onto her haunches, not able to believe what had just happened. She just stared at Kyle, who kept falling, and falling, and falling... A single tear rolled down her cheek. She knew he'd never wake up from this nightmare. "This... But he..." Twilight pulled her into a hug.

"It's alright... He'll be fine... He always is." She stroked Rainbow's mane, hoping to comfort her friend.

"But where will he go from here? He's just falling. Forever. What'll happen now?"

Twilight stared into Rainbow's eyes for a moment, before looking away, and letting out a heavy sigh. "I don't know... But I know that he'll find a way out of this. Kyle's a clever guy, he can figure this out. Somehow..."

"I hope..." Rainbow wiped her face off with her hoof, and sniffled a bit. "I just don't understand why he just gave up like that. It looked like he was in a whole lot of pain."

"Maybe an old memory came back, and it was too much for him. I can't really say." Twilight looked off somewhere, starting to drift into deep thought. "Maybe it was a memory. Maybe a traumatic one... But knowing Kyle, he'll shrug it off and try to ignore it. Or maybe he'll use it as motivation to keep on going after he comes to his senses." Twilight smiled, and gave Rainbow a nudge on the shoulder. "I bet he'll be up and back to figuring this out in no time."

YES. FINALLY. HOLY DEAR SWEET FUCKING CHRIST THAT WRITER'S BLOCK WAS HORRIBLE. I'M BACK BABY! Now then, expect updates every Friday, at least until further notice.

Chapter 51: The Dark Descent, Part 8

CHAPTER 51

(Third Person)

"Hey, Twilight? Yoohoo, anypony home? I haven't seen you in a while!" Pinkie stuck her head into Twilight's library, and looked around a bit, only to see Kyle, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash all asleep at the sofa. "Oh, you silly fillies! Come on, wake up!" Pinkie poked Twilight's cheek a few times, then prodded Kyle's leg. When neither of them woke up, she started getting worried. "Uh-oh... Dashie! Come on, wake up, something's wrong with Twilight and Kyle!" She shook Rainbow, but she didn't wake up either. "Oh no. This isn't good. Nuh-uh. Not at all. I gotta go tell everypony else!"

Pinkie bolted out of the door, ready to gather all of her friends to see just what was wrong. She had absolutely no idea.

(First Person)

I never wanted any of this.

All I wanted to do was try to lead as normal a life I could in an abnormal land I was trapped in. But I just had to try and play hero all the time. It got me beaten, battered, bruised, nearly killed... And now this. I was falling. Ironic, huh? My entire adventure started with me falling, and that's how it'll end.

"I got caught up in some crazy shit, and this is what I get. I never should have gotten involved with The Doctor, Sean, Torrie... Sure, I made great friends, but look at what the hell happened now!"

I closed my eyes, and hung my head back, focusing on the feeling of air rushing past me, trying to clear my mind. My head was no longer in pain, but I still felt like there was a lead weight in place of my brain.

"How do I get out of here? I'm falling, but to where? Or does this go on forever?"

I didn't know where I was, I didn't how where I was going, and I had no idea how to get out. To put it simply: I was pretty fucked.

"This really is all my fault. I should have just gone home, back to Earth, and been done with it. None of this would have ever happened."

(Third Person)

Nopony knew what was wrong. Pinkie had gathered all of her conscious friends that she could find. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Sean was... Somewhere, and Pinkie didn't waste time to do a thorough search for him. Fluttershy gave the sleeping trio a look, and didn't find anything immediately wrong.

"Um... They're all just asleep, Pinkie."

AJ took off her hat, and scratched her head. "Yeah. Ah' don't see nothin' wrong here..."

"But they look like they've been like that for hours!" Pinkie stomped her hoof on the ground, knowing she was right. "And nopony sleeps like that during they day!"

"RD does." AJ laughed a little bit at her lazy friend's expense.

"Why won't any of you believe me?!"

"Ah'm sorry t' say so, Pinkie, but yer' jus' overreactin'. They're all jus' asleep, alright?"

Pinkie hung her head. "OK..." The other mares left, and Pinkie tried to think of just who would believe her.

"Wait. Kyle's friends with Princess Luna, isn't he? I bet she'd be able to tell something's wrong!"

(First Person)

The falling just kept going, and it was starting to drive me nuts.

"I'm gonna be stuck here forever..."

I focused on the silence around me, but it turns out, it wasn't completely quiet after all. I heard faint voices around me.

"He... Under control... Spell..."

"I think it's talking about me... Yeah, I'm under the control of a spell..."

"Can't... In... Locked inside..."

"I'm locked in my mind... That must be someone outside, in the real world."

"Free... Himself... Reach... End..."

"There's an end to all of this? That's news to me... So if I reach this 'end' I'll get out of this hellhole..."

Suddenly, all I could see was white, and my ears began ringing. I felt a hard surface appear below me, and I shifted into a sitting position. Then, I blacked out.

(Third Person)

"... There's no other way. He has to get out by himself." Pinkie had told Princess Luna about the situation. The Princess was explaining Kyle's situation to Pinkie.

"So you mean he has to save himself to save Twilight and Dashie?"

"That is correct."

Pinkie looked over the three, and her trademark grin dawned on her. "Well, if it's Kyle who's doing the saving, I'm sure everypony'll be OK. He's pulled through some wacky stuff, after all!"

"I could imagine. I'm just worried as to what it is that he's trapped in. For all we know, there could be dark memories he locked away. Something traumatic that he had to go through. And now he could be reliving it."

"That... Doesn't sound very fun..."

(First Person)

When I came to, I was in a pitch black room. After letting my eyes adjust to the darkness, I saw that I was in a small bedroom. Literally, a "bed" room. It only had the bed I was laying on in it. I was back in the castle, which I was thankful for. It was better than just being stuck in an infinite void until I died.

"Ah' think Ah' heard 'im in here!"

(Listen to this)

"Shit."

Applejack was right outside the door, and I had nowhere to hide. I get out of one deathtrap, only to be forced into another. I decided I may as well make an attempt at hiding, and rolled under the bed. Good timing, to, because as soon as I hid, the door opened. I could see orange, yellow, and purple hooves.

"Where is he, then? I've been wanting to experiment on something other than a pony for quite a while now..."

"Ah' coulda sworn Ah' heard 'im!"

"Well, if he is in here... Maybe I could, um, have some time alone with him? I mean, if that's alright..."

"Oh hell no."

"Certainly, Fluttershy. You could do whatever you want, as long as you break his spirits in the process. I don't need any subject squirming around while I try to make cuts."

"Actually, Ah' have an idea. We could get her on 'im, iff'n that sounds good."

"Well... I would rather he be alive, but if he's dead, I could always use the limbs she hacks off. Good idea, Applejack."

(Stop the music)

The three left the room, and I let out the breath I didn't even know I'd been holding. But what'd they mean by 'her?'

"Rarity is dead, Rainbow is... Who knows where, Fluttershy, AJ, and Twilight are all homicidal maniacs... That leaves Pinkie. Oh this is gonna be just fucking grand."

I quickly made my way out from under the bed, and out of the room, being as quick and quiet as possible. The hallway outside was a long one, with two doors on each end. I decided to go to the left.

"The rule of a maze is to always stick to the left, and this place sure qualifies as a maze..."

(Listen to this)

I scrambled into the room, making sure to close the door behind me. I quickly thrust my lantern back out in front of me. The light revealed a scene that was horrifying. I was in a large room, with a long table in the middle, each seat set with utensils and a plate... And each plate had a rotting, severed limb, or a clump of skin, or a hunk of meat, all from ponies. Heads, Cutie Marks, torsos, and any other body parts you could think of were nailed to the wall, all dripping blood, or puss. A large banner hung over the room, reading "NEVER ENDING PARTY." The words were written in blood. I leaned down... And I vomited. I emptied my stomach right there. All the gore, unspeakable things I'd seen, and stress finally caught up to me right there. After I stopped, I wiped my mouth, and looked back up, only to see a pink blur zoom away from me. I heard a voice echo through the halls.

"I'm so glad you could join me... Now we can party forever! You'll never leave... I'll make sure of it... Tee hee hee..."

I heard the sounds of knives sharpening, and I felt my eyes pop open. I regained any energy I'd lost, and I made a mad dash down a hallway. I was throwing open doors, looking for a place to hide, the whole time, mad laughter emanated through the building, taunting me. When I opened the door to what seemed like a pantry, I went inside, and closed the door, making sure to turn off my lantern. I stood there for nearly a minute, my vision swaying, my head throbbing. I eventually began to hear a strange scratching sound, and everything became even darker, to the point where my eyes couldn't adjust, and it was completely black all around me. I felt warmth coming from in front of me, so I switched on my lantern.

I regretted it immediately.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I saw Pinkie Pie, but she was warped, and destroyed. Her head was tilted sideways, one eye wide with madness, the other, dangling limply from her skull. Her smile was crooked, and dark, with the intent of murder, and possibly more. Her mane was torn out in spots, the rest hung straight down the side of her head, dark clumps of dried blood all over it. Her body was torn at certain spots, flesh hanging limply downwards, revealing the muscles and veins underneath, and the rest of her body had stitches all over, snaking across her like some sick symbol of sorts. In one hoof, she had a sickle, dull and rusted, caked with blood, and small chunks of meat stuck to it.

"Hi! Wanna play a GAME with me? Hee hee hee! We'll have so much fun! I'll tear you apart, and you'll scream... Oh you'll SCREAM!"

I yelled at the top of my lungs, and shoved past her, slamming the door open, almost tearing it off of it's hinges. I heard hoofsteps not far behind me.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Oh, I love it when they run! It's so much fun to watch them flee and hide! I'll make you BEG for mercy when I catch
you!"

I looked behind me, and my vision scattered when I saw Pinkie inching closer and closer to me by the second. I focused on the hallway in front of me, and just in time. I almost slammed into the door I was in front of. I threw it open, and slammed it shut behind me, and started grabbing random bits of furniture around the room, and shoving them in front of the door, building a crude barricade to buy myself some time. I heard Pinkie's hoofsteps slow down to a casual trot, and she casually knocked on the door.

"Oh Kyle... Let me in... I just want to play with you... Please, let me in... I'm just innocent little Pinkie Pie..."

I felt my head throb, my headache worsening. I was going insane from all of these unsettling events. I put one hand on my head, and used the other to keep carrying the lantern, but I sat it down on a table and used my tinderboxes to light some candles, and blew out my lantern to save oil. Pinkie's voice rang out from behind the door again.

"Where's Pinkie Pie~?"

A pink hoof smashed through the door, throwing some furniture across the room, breaking some more. Pinkie looked through the hole she'd made, and looked right at me.

"HERE I AM!"

She continued to beat down the door, and I started to panic again.

"What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO- Wait... A cupboard!"

I opened the cupboard, and luckily, all that was inside was a few boxes, which I took out, and placed in front of the door, trying to buy as much time as possible. I stood in the cupboard, and closed the doors behind me, and just in time, too. I heard the furniture and door splinter and bits slam against the walls, and hoofsteps entered the room.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Come out and play~... I'm not gonna hurt you, Kyle... Come on now, don't you wanna have fun with your old pal Pinkie
Pie~?"

"FUCK. NO."

I heard her start tapping her sickle on things, and she began to hum the tune of "Cupcakes," which freaked me out so much more. The throbbing in my head became unbearable, and I started to sweat, and I heard crinkling noises coming out of nowhere.

"I'm losing my mind..."

I froze when I heard her sickle start tapping again... It was tapping against the cupboard doors. I felt my heart stop for at least five seconds, and the sickle's blade stuck in between the doors, poking around, looking for me. I silently crouched down, barely avoiding the blade.

"Awww... I'll find you yet! I'm really good at hide-and-seek, you know... Tee hee hee... One, two, Pinkie's after you~..."

I heard her hoofsteps leave the room, but I waited for a good five minutes before emerging from my hiding place, and heading back out into the castle.

(Stop the music)

So, how about that? Extra long chapter for making you all wait so long. And as for what I made Pinkie Pie be like in the Amnesia world... I know, I know, I'm going to Hell for this.

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

CHAPTER 1

I stumbled backwards, staring at the pony in front of me. I raised a shaking hand, pointing at him. "Y-Y-You're not real... Get out of my head, I just want my life back!"

"Kyle, that's what I'm trying to give you!" The brown pony, who I remembered to be Omnius, lifted a hoof to touch me, but I swatted it away.

"NO! You're just a figment of my imagination, brought about by insanity! GO AWAY!"

He just stared at me, mouth agape, eyes widened. "Really? Everything you remember about those ponies was a dream?"

I started shouting at him, angry and confused. "YES!"

He looked me over, soaking in every detail of me. Then, he spoke. "...Then why do you still have that ring?" I looked down at the ring I had. It was from a since dead sweetheart... But I couldn't remember her. "That ring was given to you by somepony who loves you with every fiber of her being. She still misses you, and for the past year of her life, she has cried herself to sleep, hoping against all odds that I would find you. Kyle, I've been searching for twenty YEARS Just to make sure that she and her daughter can finally be happy again. Just so I can save my friend, and bring hope back to my friends, and all those who miss you."

I just glared at him, but I could feel something in my head resurfacing. "S-So what does this have to do with anything?"

He pointed to the ring, and spoke in a calm, almost nurturing tone. "Because if that ring didn't mean anything to you, you would have gotten rid of it. You know the truth. Now tell me: Do you want to finally go home? Your real home?"

Then, the memories came flooding into my head. A world of memories, all flowing into my head, and I recognized each and every memory. The falling, my friends, my family, and Torrentican.

"I... I... Yes. Omnius... I'm sorry I cost you so much time. I should have listened when you told me not to take on Torrentican, but my pride got the best of me..." I hung me head in shame. Then, I felt a friendly nudge in my side.

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Now come on, lets get you home." He extended his hoof, but then I remembered something.

"Wait... The people in this base are the reason I forgot, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And they're waiting on the other side of that door, right?"

He looked at the door, then back to me. A huge smile crept across his face, and he shifted to his unicorn form. He used his magic to rip the door off the hinges, and I cracked my knuckles.

"Let's get some revenge."

"Boy I hope I'm still a good fighter..."

I had to answer this question fast as a nurse ran at me with a needle.

"Not so fast, bub." I punched him square in the jaw, and saw the shape of the gem in my wedding ring embedded in his cheek.

Omnius laughed. "You still got it!"

"Alright... I have an idea, but it involves some SERIOUS property damage." I cracked my neck, walking through the hallways to find a way to the room.

"Oh yes..." Omnius had a madman's grin on. Man am I glad I'm friends with him...

Then, more nurses came, Omnius and I stood, back to back... Er, sorta.

"Hey, Kyle... How many of them d'ya think there are?"

"A lot..." I looked at my side, at least five of them. All of them were men, except one, who was huddled in the back, a fearful look on her face. I didn't know how many were on Omnius' side.

"Alright... Lets do this..." I raised my fists. "LEROOOOOOOOOY..."

Omnius charged. "JEEEEENKIIIIIIINS..."

After an almost cartoonish fight, and barely dodging several needles, me and Omnius stood around the unconscious bodies of all of the nurses. One of them still had a syringe of sedatives in his hand, and I took it.

"Kyle... What are you planning on doing?" Omnius just looked at me. He was apparently trying to figure out my intentions, but couldn't think of anything.

"I'm going to give these losers a taste of their own medicine. Quite literally." I held the syringe up, an insane smile on my face.

"Man am I glad I met you..." Omnius chuckled, and we continued onward. We encountered no trouble, surprisingly. Then, I saw a sign on one of the doors.

"Doctor M. Frost... That's my doctor... He's the guy who gave me all the therapy and meds that made me forget everything..."

I felt all my anger from the past year release, and I kicked in the door. Frost looked up from his desk, and jumped out of his chair in fear when he saw it was me.

"W-Wha... How did you get out?"

I stepped aside, and Omnius stood there, glaring.

"What on Earth!?!? But you're just a figment of his imagination!"

"Oh really? Then how the heck am I here in front of you?"

"But... But that would mean..."

He didn't notice that I was standing right next to him. "Yep. I'm not nuts. Now, it's STABBIN' TIME!" I jabbed him in the neck with the syringe, and injected all of the sedative into him, like he had done to me many a time before. He just staggered for a second, then slumped against the wall, drool running out of his mouth.

"Night night, Goldilocks." I turned and headed for the office door. Omnius followed suit.

"Er... Are you sure you aren't nuts, Kyle?"

"Oh I definitely am. I can just control myself..." I looked back at the frame of the office door. "Most of the time..."

We let out a small chuckle. Then, we walked by a janitor closet.

"Hey, Omnius. Think you can unlock it with unicorn magic?"

"Oh, easily. Step aside..." He his horn to the lock. It glowed with a faint aura, and then I heard a satisfying CLICK as the door unlocked. I saw a janitor uniform, the pockets of which I rifled through. I found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Then, I saw an old ring of mosquito repellent. Perfect...

"Awesome. Exactly what I needed..." I took all of the random items, and we continued on.

"Er... Why do you need cigarettes? You smoke or something?"

"Oh God no. Let's just say... I know a thing or two about how to make a timed firebomb. I just hope they have an old water heater here..."

Omnius gave me a quizzical look, and then shrugged (Well, he did the pony equivalent of a shrug.)

After a few more minutes, we found the boiler room. The door wasn't even locked. When we went down the stairs, it was almost pitch black. I lit the lighter, and after a bit of searching, I found a water heater next to the boiler. I was assuming they just left the old boiler there when they upgraded to the water heater, which looked like it was from the 1960s. Heck, it looked like they used both of them. I opened the heater, and started setting everything up.

After a few minutes of fiddling with a few things, I sat a cigarette on the mosquito wire, and placed it so that when it burned down, it would ignite the wire. I lit it, and closed the box.

"Alright Omnius, we have about an hour before this entire place goes BOOM!"

"Wait, WHAT?" He stared at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, I learned a few things about arson. It turns out, if you do what I just did, you can make an old water heater go up in flames, and with that old boiler still in use... Lets just say this place is gonna have a nice hole in it. So... Lets get out of here."

He shook his head and grinned. I grabbed onto his jacket, and I felt the pulling sensation, as I was thrust back into Equestria.

"I'm back, baby."

Chapter 3: Rock Bottom

CHAPTER 3

I'd been avoiding everypony for the past two weeks. I didn't have the courage to face Fluttershy or Applejack, as I knew they would hate me too. But one thing was on my mind: Dashie.

"She was so disheveled... Why was she waiting for me for so long...? It's all my fault for going against Torrentican even though Omnius told me not to. I stole her heart, then ripped it to shreds..."

I took another swig of the apple cider I was drinking. I was sitting in a bar, trying to drown my sorrows with alcohol. I was lost and broken... Defeated. I hadn't been caring for myself either. I wasn't shaven, so I had stubble all over my face, I had dried mud and dirt all over my clothes, I had bags under my eyes, said eyes being red and bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep.

"Hey, Kyle, I really think you've had enough..." The bartender had a worried look on his face. I glared knives at him.

"I'll tell you when I'VE had enough. Now give me another bottle..."

"Alright..." He sat the bottle down, and I just yanked the cap off. I chugged it down in a matter of seconds. I was feeling a bit tipsy, but nothing too bad...

(Third Person)

All the girls, asides from Rainbow Dash, had gathered at Twilight's Library to discuss Kyle's return.

"... And he was gone for so long... I even asked the princesses for help with the return spell. Luna was so determined to bring him back..." Twilight had an expression of anger and sorrow.

"I just don't understand why he was gone for so long... The rifts are there, he could have just found one and come back." Rarity, as with the rest of the ponies, had no idea that Torrentican had destroyed the controller crystal, closing the rifts.

"He's just a meanie-weenie-bo-beanie..."

"Ah' don't think that's th' case, girls... Ah' think Torrentican's the reason 't took so long fer' 'im t' come back. Ah' fer one wanna see 'im again, but Ah' think he's hidin' from us. He prolly thinks we hate 'im."

"Oh... My... I hope not. I'm not really angry with him... I'm just shocked that he was gone this long and then just shows up again..." Fluttershy had a slight blush.

"Welp, lets go lookin' then! He can't be that far away!" Applejack made a mock heroic pose, and everypony giggled. Pinkie even perked up a bit. They all fell in behind her, and followed her out on the hunt for the runaway human.

(First Person)

"Ugh..."

"Yeah, Kyle, you've had too much."

I was extremely drunk. And even though I felt great, I felt all of the stress catching up with me.

"Why're they so mad at me...? I just wish they would have listened... But I probably deserve it..." I felt all the sorrow and pain beginning to well up in my throat.

I thought I heard the bar door open, but I payed no mind to it, and just kept crying and talking to myself. I was broken. I hated myself. I wanted everything to go back to normal. I wanted my life back. I wanted my friends back. I wanted my family back...

But I couldn't have any of that. I didn't deserve it. I knew I didn't.

(Third Person)

Applejack and everypony else walked into the bar after Pinkie noticed Kyle sitting there, drinking. But when they approached him, what they heard shocked them.

(Listen to this)

"I... I didn't mean to leave you guys..." He was mumbling to himself, in a drunken pit of self loathing. "I didn't know Torrentican would take me back... I would never leave here willingly... I'm so sorry I forgot... I just wish I could have come back sooner... I never wanted it to be like this... I love you all so much..." He buried his head into his arms, and began sobbing. "Y-You w-were the b-b-best friends I-I ever h-h-had, and I j-just ruined i-it by g-going against him, thinking I w-w-would win... L-Look what m-my p-p-pride got me... I'm a w-worthless loser... I'm n-n-nothing... I'll never a-amount to a-a-anything... I r-ruined your l-lives... I d-don't deserve y-your friendship... I-I just d-deserve the a-anger... The h-hate... P-Please, d-don't s-stop hating me... I-I-I deserve e-every ounce of th-the anger... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so, so sorry... I ruin everything... I can't do anything right..."

The girls just stared in shock. Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity hadn't had the thought that Torrentican was the one who locked Kyle away wherever he had gone. They were just upset that they had spent so much time trying to bring him back, that they had lost sight of what really mattered: His friendship. He had slipped away. He was a shell of his former self, broken and depressed. They couldn't even say anything, so they just slowly backed out of the bar, leaving Kyle to his self hatred.

(First Person)

I sat there, crying into my arms, wishing I hadn't let myself be beaten. I had left all my friends behind, and ruined their lives.

"Some f-friend I w-was... I shouldn't e-even b-b-be here... I... I d-don't deserve Equestria..."

(Stop the music)

With that, I knew what I had to do. I left the bar, leaving the bits for the drinks on the table, and stumbled outside. But before I could go anywhere, I saw a familiar orange mare leaving the restaurant nearby. It was Scoots. She was in a waitress uniform, so I assumed she was working there. She was talking to Apple Bloom, I didn't know about what. When Apple Bloom left, Scoots just stood there, a dreamy look in her eyes. Then, I saw a brown pegasus with strange hair and three basketballs as a Cutie Mark fly down and land in front of her.

"Hey there filly-fooler! I see you were eyeing up your marefriend! You're disgusting, you know that?" He just laughed at her as she scooted back a bit, afraid of the pegasus.

"Hoops... Just leave me alone... I don't feel like dealing with your small mind today."

"What did you just say to me? I'll teach you some respect!" He raised his hoof, and brought it down hard on her face. Then, all I could see was red.

I smashed the bottle off the side of the wall, and set off full sprint towards Hoops, murder in my eyes.

Chapter 15: Of Timelords and Toothpaste

CHAPTER 15

Scoots walked inside, and she looked happier than ever.

"I assume the date went well." The smile she had on got even wider. I suddenly thought of Pinkie.

"Oh you have no idea! I thought it was gonna be all awkward and stuff, but it ended up being really nice! Apple Bloom even wanted to see some of my flying techniques!"

"Wow. That sounds like it was really nice. You're a lucky mare, Scoots, having a marefriend like Apple Bloom..." I let out a little sigh. "I remember when you were little... Man, I wish I could see you with that basket on your head again." I laughed, and Scoots got a sly smile on her face. She made her voice a little more high pitched, and...

"I'm being adorable and there's nothing you can do about it!" I almost had a heart attack.

"SO ADORABLE...! Well, I think I'm gonna head out, and look for something to do. You have fun, and stay out of trouble, alright?" She rolled her eyes.

"Dad, I'm not little anymore!" I laughed and ruffled her hair.

"Yeah, well you're still my kid. Alright then, I'm out! Onwards and upwards-"

Scoots cut me off. "Allons-y?" I smiled so wide I almost broke my jaw.

"Allons-y. AND AWAY I GO!" I jumped off the cloud, and into the town below. Nopony even jumped when I landed in the town square, which was sorta sad. I usually scared somepony when I made sudden entrances like that. "Oh well. Time to wander the streets aimlessly. I need to find a hobby..."

"UGH! Nothing's happening! Why is it that whenever I WANT something to happen, nothing does? I'm cursed, I tell you!" I was talking to myself... Don't judge me. I sat down on a bench, and decided to just sit there and think. I closed my eyes, and leaned back...

And was nudged in the side by a pony sitting down next to me. I almost started yelling, but when I looked at said pony... I was silenced. It was a mare, with a dark blue mane and a white streak through it, a powder blue coat, and she was smiling at me like a nutter. I did NOT recognize her, and that was pretty weird, since I knew everypony in town.

"Uhhh... Hi?" I scooted away a little.

"Hi there! My name's Colgate!" I shook her hoof, and she looked me over a bit, but she was trying to hide it... SUSPICIOUS MODE, ACTIVATED.

"My name's Kyle... I'm surprised you don't know me."

"Why's that?" Yep. Suspicion rising.

"Because I'm an ALIEN. Didn't you notice? Bipedal, no coat, FINGERS." I waggled my fingers in front of her for emphasis.

"Oh... Um... I... Didn't notice?" I wanted to facepalm so badly."

"Does she even know how suspicious she's being?"

"So... I you're an alien... How did you get here?"

"Apparently not..."

I decided to just play along. "Well... It all started on my sixteenth birthday..."

"... And then I jumped off, and landed in the town center, and started wandering around. I decided to take a rest and think, sat down on this bench... And now you're here. Asking me all of these questions. And it's very suspicious."

"I'm just trying to be friendly..." And thus, my guilt kicked in.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm a mite paranoid. Come on, I'm getting tired wanna go on a wa-" As we stood up, I saw her Cutie Mark. "AN HOURGLASS?!"

She jumped, and tried to sit down and hide it. "Oh, um, well, you see-" She stood up and tried to run off, but I grabbed her by the tail.

"Oh no you don't! You're staying right here, and telling me why your Cutie Mark is just like The Doctor's!" She fell down on her flank, and let out a sigh of defeat.

"Well... You know how he told you he was the last living Timelord?"

"Lemme guess, you're a Timelord, and you survived that massive battle with the Daleks."

"Yes. I was never actually in that battle." I cocked an eyebrow at her. "You see, I was on my way to the battle, when suddenly, I was tugged through a wormhole by some powerful force, and I ended up here. My TARDIS died in the process..." She suddenly looked very sad.

"A TARDIS can die?"

"Yes, they are living beings, grown by the Timelords. I've taken a liking to this place. I have friends, and I nice job down at the flower shop with Lilly and Roseluck." I remembered Rose. The British one. Apparently she and The Doctor spent a lot of time in Equestria. I'd thought as much.

"Sounds nice. I actually HATED my life back on Earth before I came here. When I was here, I quickly adjusted, because it's so happy and nice. I've had my share of troubles, as you know, but still." I shrugged and smiled. "So, where have you been staying that you never see or hear about me?"

"I live in an old house outside of town. I like to be alone with my thoughts sometimes."

"I used to be like that too. And then I ended up here in Equestria... I do have one regret though..."

"What's that?" She raised her eyebrow. I had half a mind to tell her not to rip me off.

"I never got to tell Rose goodbye. Not the British one, but the one with no hand... She was really important to me. She was my only friend, and I up and left like that... Every time I was back on Earth I never once thought to go visit her. Some friend I was." I stared at my feet. The guilt was overwhelming.

"Well... You'll get a chance to see her again one day, I mean you've gone back to Earth twice. Who's to say it won't happen again?" I immediately perked up.

"You're a smart pony, you know that, Colgate?"

"Yes, I do. Being a nine-hundred and ten year old Timelord who's been everywhere and everywhen can do that to you." I almost fell over from laughing. "'Everywhen...' I get it." I looked up into the sky. It was getting dark.

"Woah! How long have we been talking?"

She shrugged. "Almost three hours, I guess. Your story was REALLY long." I nodded.

"I need to get home. It was nice meeting you, Colgate. I'll come talk to you sometime, OK?"

She gave me a very warm smile. "I'll look forward to it." I waved and flew off.

Some of the ponies I meet, I'm telling you...

Telling me what?

PINKIE?!

Chapter 33: Kyle Bucy: Ace Attorney! Return To Court

CHAPTER 33

I'm just gonna say this right now... PLEASE listen to all of the music I link to, and follow all of the instructions in the parentheses that I give you. It'll add to the effect so much, you wouldn't believe it. Well, I've kept you long enough. Enjoy the chapter!

(Listen to this)

"Very well. The prosecution may make it's opening statement."

Twilight nodded, and took a deep breath. She looked as nervous as I did. "Yes, Your Honor. It's quite simple. The victim was struck over the back of the head with a blunt instrument, this handlebar from a scooter, and was killed immediately. The bar came from the same scooter that the defendant owns. I don't even see the point in a case." I drummed my fingers on my desk, and looked over the court record.

"So it's a murder case... When isn't it? So, the victim, a Miss R. Dash... Of course it would be Dashie... She was beaten over the back of the head... Death was instantaneous, although the body was beaten many times after death. T.O.D. estimated to be 11:01pm. The body was so battered, that magical DNA analysis had to be used to identify the body. Blood was found on the handlebar of Scoots' scooter, and she was arrested on the spot. A bookmark from the library was found near the scene. Hm... Not much evidence though. The handlebar looks a bit bent, probably from the impact, and it has splatters of blood all over it. It has no traces of hoofprints, and some scratches where it is inserted and removed from the scooter, which are quite recent. The bookmark... Looks like one from the library... Dashie must have had a Daring Do book with her. Alright then... Time to pick this apart, piece by piece."

"Does the prosecution have any witnesses to verify this?" Mayor Mare- Er, the judge gave Twilight a quizzical look.

"Of course. The prosecution calls Miss Cherilee to the stand." Cherilee stepped up to the stand, a completely blank expression on her face.

"What a poker face... This is gonna be a tough Cross." I leaned on the desk, and stared intently at Cherilee.

The judge cleared her throat. "The witness may begin her testimony." Cherilee smiled at the judge, and nodded.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Well, I was walking home, after doing a lot of paperwork. It was late, I think it was about 10:30. I looked in a back alley, and saw a figure with a pipe or something in her mouth, standing over a body. She ran off without seeing me, so I checked to see who the body belonged to. It was Rainbow Dash. I ran off, and alerted the guards immediately." Cherilee looked to the judge, and nodded.

"The defense would like to begin the cross examination, Your Honor."

The judge gave me a slight nod. "Very well then." I stared at Cherilee, giving her my "lawyer eyes," and she flinched a little bit, her eyes darting back and forth, avoiding mine. She began to sweat a little bit.

"Too easy..."

I slammed my hands down on the desk, and then threw my right hand into a point, directed at Cherilee, causing her to flinch again. "Miss Cherilee!"

She gulped, and tried her best to look me in the eyes. "Y-Yes?"

"First off, how did you know this 'figure' was a mare?" Her jaw dropped.

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Well, I- You see-" I slammed my hands on the desk again.

"And didn't you say you saw this happen at 10:30?" She nodded violently. "Hm. Your Honor, please take a look at the autopsy report." The judge looked at the report on her podium, and adjusted her glasses.

"Beaten over back of head with blunt instrument... Death was instantaneous... Time of death verified at... 11:01pm!" The judge looked at Cherilee with anger, and I crossed my arms, a smug grin breaking across my face, until...

"OBJECTION!"

(Stop the music)

Twilight's voice boomed through the courtroom. I flinched backwards a little bit. "Your Honor, the defenses claims are meaningless!" I slammed my fists down on my desk, and glared at Twilight.

"What?!" I yelled at her through clenched teeth. It was her turn to grin smugly.

"You see, Your Honor, the witness knew the figure was a mare, by the shape of her body."

Cherilee smiled, and nodded again. "Yes! Exactly!"

Twilight nodded to her, and then looked back to me. "And as for the time... The witness was so shocked by the sight of a dead body, that she forgot the time. She will adjust her testimony accordingly." I glared at Twilight, and then at Cherilee.

"Damn! I was on a roll too..."

The judge cleared her throat again. "The witness may re-state her testimony."

(Listen to this)

Cherilee put her hoof to her chin, apparently trying to dig out any more details she could remember. "OK, so I had a lot of paperwork, and I must have left around 10:45, as it is a fifteen minute walk to my house from the school. When I walked by the alleyway at around 11:00, I saw the figure, a mare, as I thought from the way her body was built, run out of the alleyway with a pipe or something in her mouth. I looked in the alleyway, and saw Rainbow's body-"

"OBJECTION!"

(Stop the music, listen to this)

I slammed my hands down on the desk, a smug grin on my face. "Sorry to interrupt, but are you ABSOLUTELY sure it was Rainbow Dash?"

Cherilee nodded. "Yes. I'd recognize her face anywhere."

I shook my head, and tapped my temple with my finger. "Ah, but you see, you couldn't have recognized her face. if you look at the autopsy report again, you'll see that the body was beaten to the point where they had to use DNA analysis to identify her."

The judge looked over the autopsy report again, and her eyes went wide. "You're right! What is the meaning of this, Miss Cherilee?"

Cherilee started to sweat. "Well, um... You see- I, uh... It's just that-"

Twilight slammed a hoof on the desk. "The witness could tell it was Rainbow Dash from her hair!"

(Stop the music)

I felt my jaw drop. "What?! But... Uh..." I was drawing blanks.

Twilight nodded in victory. "Exactly. Unless you wish to suggest Scootaloo pulled Rainbow Dash's hair out? But, the witness' testimony states that she saw the murder running away at the very moment of the crime!" Something clicked in my head just then.

"No... No, the murderer DIDN'T run away at the very moment of the crime!" Everypony gasped, and I felt a smile creep across my face.

(Listen to this)

"Rainbow Dash died at 11:01, whereas Cherilee said she saw this occuring at 11:00! Rainbow Dash had at least another minute to live! She could have said something!" Twilight cringed, and I noticed a bruise on her foreleg. "I wonder what that's from..."

Cherilee lowered her head, and her ears drooped. "No, but I- She..."

I slammed my hands on my desk. "You didn't recognize Rainbow Dash because of her hair, you recognized her because of her voice. Now tell me, what did she say?!"

Cherilee slowly composed herself, and stared at me with a blank face. Then, she started shaking, and tears began to well up in her eyes. "OK! OK! I'll tell you everything, she-"

"OBJECTION!" Twilight slammed her hooves on her desk, and glared at me. "The defense will NOT badger my witnesses!"

I let out a hearty laugh, and then stared straight into Twilight's eyes, smiling. "I'm not BADGERING, I'm simply asking her a question! This information is vital to this case!"

The judge nodded. "I agree with the defense. Objection overruled." Twilight leaned down on her desk, and gave me a death stare.

I looked back to Cherilee. "Now, witness... Answer the question!"

She sniffed, and wiped the tears out of her eyes. "OK... She didn't say much. And I was so freaked out, I couldn't really understand her. I think she said 'Light,' whatever that means. I didn't do it, if that's what you're thinking. I swear I didn't."

(Stop the music)

I rubbed my chin, and tried to make a connection. "'Light...' What could that mean? I guess we'll find out..."

"Mr. Bucy? Your thoughts?" The judge snapped me out of my deep thought.

I put my left hand in my pocket. "Your Honor, the witness is obviously NOT the killer, but she has given us some valuable evidence. There's no solid proof that Scootaloo is the murderer, and now, we have a statement from the victim. Aren't you wondering what 'Light' means as well?"

The judge pondered this for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, I believe we DO have some unanswered questions here. I call a five minute recess, then the prosecution may call it's next witness. Mrs. Cherilee, you may leave now."

(Listen to this)

"Dad, that was amazing!" Scoots was staring at me with a mix of admiration and awe.

"Trust me Scoots, I thought I wasn't gonna make it. Twilight got me good a few times in there..." I ran my hand along my hair, making sure it wasn't sticking up anywhere. Amazingly, it wasn't.

"Well, if you keep this up, you'll win for sure!" I smiled, but something kept on eating at me.

"Hey, Scoots... Who exactly thought of this whole case? It seems a little violent for a pony to think of." Scoots looked off to the side, apparently trying to remember who it was.

"I think it was Pinkie Pie. She said she got the idea from... A Phoenix, or something." Scoots shrugged, and I slapped my forehead.

"Of course. Pinkie has some otherworldy powers or something. Either that, or she's been listening to Sean's stories too much."

"Hey, Kyle." I looked to my side, to locate the source of the voice that had just said my name. It was Twilight.

"Oh, hey Twilight." I gave her a little wave.

"I hope you know that you're not winning this case." I felt my jaw drop, and I stared at her in bewilderment.

"Wha-" She raised her hoof to silence me.

"I've studied all there is to know about Equestrian law, and I take great pride in my studies. You can't win." With that, she turned around and walked away.

"Yeesh... Twilight sure is competitive when it comes to things she's studied. That's not gonna make this any easier."

I felt a hoof tap my side again. It was the same stallion who'd told me about the case starting last time. He leaned his head towards the door, and I nodded.

"Here we go... Round two!"

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

"Now that the five minute recess is up, we may continue the case. Is the prosecution ready?"

Twilight gave me a coy smile. "The prosecution is ready, Your Honor." I cocked my eyebrow at her.

"The defense is ready, Your Honor..."

The judge cleared her throat, and nodded to Twilight. "The prosecution may call it's next witness."

Twilight nodded. "The prosecution calls to the stand... Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie."

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"OH CRAP."

Pinkie appeared out of NOWHERE from below the witness stand. "Hiya everypony!"

Twilight looked at me, her evil grin widening. I gulped.

"Oh man... This isn't good at all. Who KNOWS what Twilight has Pinkie trained to say? Pinkie's pretty easy to bribe..." I slouched forward, and I could have sworn I started sweating.

Pinkie was bouncing all around the room. "Oh wow! This room is so fancy! It's all shiny, and pretty... It needs more pink! Oh! I'm supposed to be in this stand, right?" Pinkie hopped into the witness stand. "OK! I'm ready to talk!"

The judge was staring at Twilight, but she quickly composed herself. "Erm... Right. Uh, Miss Pie? Your testimony?"

"Okie Dokie Lokie!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

I leaned in on my desk, and focused every fiber of my being on Pinkie. Anything would help me at that point.

"Well, I was just sitting in my room in Sugarcube Corner, staring out my window, because I was bored, and didn't have anything to do! Then, I saw Dashie in an alleyway with somepony. I couldn't tell who. Dashie had a bag, but I couldn't tell what was in it. She put it down, and I don't know what happened next. Next thing you know, the pony has a bar or something in their mouth, and Dashie kicks them in the foreleg, and it looked like it really hurt! The pony staggered a bit, but then hit Dashie over the head... Again... And again..." Pinkie closed her eyes, and I saw tears brimming in the corners.

The judge nodded, and then looked to me. "Are you ready to cross examine the witness?"

I nodded, and then looked back to Pinkie. "Yes, Your Honor... Pinkie, I have a few questions for you..."

"Okie dokie! I'll answer them, no problemo!" Her smile made me feel bad for pretty much interrogating her.

"You said Rainbow Dash had a bag. What exactly do you think was in it?"

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, and then... A lightbulb popped up above her head, and promptly disappeared. "I dunno. Probably books or something. You know how much she loves reading Daring Do."

I nodded. "Right... Well, what about when Rainbow Dash kicked the murderer? Did you see where it connected?"

"Yeah! It looked like the left forehoof." Pinkie nodded her head, and her smile widened even more.

"Is that all you need, Mr. Bucy?" The judge cocked her eyebrow at me.

(Stop the music)

"Yes. I've come to a conclusion: We need to find that bag. We can't confirm what was in it-"

"OBJECTION!"

(Listen to this)

Twilight slammed a hoof on her desk, and she glared at me. "Your Honor, that is completely irrelevant to the case! We already have enough evidence. The handlebar used as the murder weapon was from Scootaloo's scooter, and the murderer was a mare! It's obvious. All you need to do, is bang your gavel, and say one. Little. Word."

"Oh no... This isn't good! What do I do...?"

The judge put a hoof on her chin, and thought for almost a minute. Time seemed to slow down as she nodded. "I agree. There's not much else to figure out here. It's quite obvious who the killer is. I declare the defendant, Scootaloo..."

"GUILTY."

SLAM

"HOLD IT!"

(Stop the music, Listen to this now)

I was breathing heavily, and I was sweating. I'd almost lost. But there was only one problem...

"What do I do NOW?!"

"Mr. Bucy! What is the meaning of this?! Explain yourself!" The judge didn't look to happy with my outburst.

I slammed my hands on the desk again. "We can't declare a verdict now! There are so many unanswered questions! What was REALLY in that bag, and why wasn't it found at the crime scene? And what did Rainbow Dash mean by 'Light?' We can't just toss details to the side! One of those details could reveal the-"

"OBJECTION!" Twilight looked REALLY angry with me. "These minor details have nothing to do with the case! There were just books in that bag! I remember checking them out to Rainbow earlier that day!"

I picked up the court record, and started tapping it with the back of my hand. "Then why wasn't it at the scene of the crime?! We're missing a valuable piece of evidence! The victim had the bag with her before she died! How could that POSSIBLY be irrelevant to the case?!" I pointed at Twilight. "Well?! Come on! Explain it to me!"

Twilight flinched, and took a step back. "Well... I- Grrr..."

I clenched my fists, and put them on my hips. "Exactly! Your Honor, we need to continue the trial! I know that there's something that can uncover the truth somewhere!"

(Stop the music)

The judge closed her eyes, and thought long and hard, until she nodded her head. "The defense makes a valid point. We shall take a ten minute recess, and both sides may try to work this mess out."

(Listen to this)

"Woah that was close..." I wiped my forehead clean of the sweat that I didn't even know was coming off of me.

"Yeah... But still, you're doing great! You really turned the tables on Twilight! And you seem like you're having a lot of fun!" Scoots smiled ear to ear, and fluttered her wings a bit.

I chuckled, and scratched my chin. Darn stubble. "Yeah, I am. Still, that was pretty intense... I'm still wondering why Pinkie decided to make Dashie the victim... And who the heck is the real killer? I'm almost completely stumped. I guess I'll just BS my way through the rest of this case. I know it wasn't you."

"You sure do have a lot of faith in me."

I stared at her, straight into her soul. "That's because you're my daughter. Why wouldn't I have any faith in you?"

"Well... I just feel like I'm useless sometimes."

I shook my head, and pulled her into a hug. "Now you listen to me, young lady, you aren't useless. Think of how happy you make Apple Bloom." Scoots perked right back up after I said that.

"Hey, pal!" I jumped at the sudden voice. It was Sean. "Heh. Nice case you've got going here."

I feebly pointed at him. "Did you just quote..."

"Yep." He nodded. He even had a tacky trench coat and loose tie on. He really did look like Gumshoe.

"Well... That's awesome."

He grinned, and chuckled a bit. "Yep, but I'm just watching."

"Well, at least you're not on Twilight's side, then. That'd be a disaster." We both laughed, although mine was a more nervous, forced laugh.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I knew what was next.

Sean gave me a thumbs up. "Good luck, dude." I nodded to him, and then headed into the courtroom.

"Alright. IMPROV TIME!"

(Stop the music)

(Listen to this)

"Court is now in session. Have both sides managed to sort this whole ordeal out?" Twilight and I both nodded, almost in unison. The whole time, we were glaring daggers at each other. The judge cleared her throat, and nodded. "I assume both sides are ready?" We nodded again. "Then, the prosecution may make it's statement."

Twilight used her magic to tap some papers into order on her desk. "Thank you, Your Honor. Now... The defense has made valid points. We do not have the bag the victim had at the time of the murder, and the victim's final word has yet to be linked to anything." She leaned in on her desk, and smiled slyly at me. "However, I have a solution to both of these problems."

I leaned forward a bit, letting my shoulders slouch. I felt very annoyed. "Of course you do..."

Twilight cleared her throat, and that made me snap back to attention. "I believe that the murder simply removed the bag from the scene!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"This was just a mugging gone horribly wrong!"

I flinched backwards, and I felt sweat start to form on my forehead. "Oh crap... That's a perfect explanation!"

Twilight smiled, satisfied that she had me backed into a corner. "And as for the victims final word... She was simply referring to the light at the end of the tunnel."

I gasped, and leaned down on my desk. The sweat was pouring off of me now, and Twilight seemed like she was enjoying this.

The judge looked at me expectantly. "Does the defense have anything to say to this?"

I scratched the side of my head. "Come on Kyle... THINK!"

The judge started tapping her hoof against her podium. That didn't help my train of thought.

"Well, I've got nothing to lose..." I slammed my hands down on the desk.

"OBJECTION!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

Twilight flinched a bit, and then slammed a hoof down on the desk. "What could you possibly have to prove that I'm wrong?!"

I chuckled, and pointed at her. "It's not what I have... But it's what you DON'T have!"

"Wha-"

I picked up the court record, and started skimming through it. "You see any proof that any of those claims are true? Because I don't."

Twilight leaned in on her desk a bit, and gave me a stare that seemed to pierce into my very soul. "But there also isn't any proof that they AREN'T."

I threw the papers down, and slammed my hands down on the desk. "EXACTLY! Neither of us can prove any of these claims! We DON'T know what was in that bag, we DON'T know if the murderer took it..." I pointed at Twilight again. "AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE VICTIM'S FINAL WORDS TRUELY MEAN!"

Twilight took a step back. Her jaw was hanging downwards. "You... You can't- But..."

I put my hands on my hips, and smiled smugly. "What do YOU think it means?"

Twilight thought for a second, and then she managed to re-compose herself. "Ah, but you see, Mr. Bucy... My claims make the most sense."

(Stop the music)

"What...?"

"Your claims are logical, yes... But they are also improbable. Whereas, my claims relate to the mindset of a criminal much more. A clumsy criminal."

The judge nodded. "The prosecution has a point. I think I can make my verdict now. I declare the defendant..."

"I'm sorry, Scoots... I let you down."

Suddenly, a loud voice boomed through the courtroom.

"WAIT!" We all looked to see who it was, and it was none other than Sean.

"Sean?! What're you-"

He cut me off. "Twilight's wrong! This isn't just some mugging! Please, let me testify, Your Honor!"

The judge closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples, and let out a long, stressed sigh. "Alright... I will allow you to testify."

Sean smiled, and stepped into the witness stand.

(Listen to this)

"I know the truth! Now, you probably remember how Pinkie said that the murderer was kicked in the foreleg, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. What does that mean?"

"And you remember how the bag was missing from the scene?" I nodded again. "Well... I have the bag here. You see, after this session started, I went and did a little snooping. I found it hidden in a trash can near the alleyway!"

Twilight slammed her hoof on her desk. "This doesn't change anythi-"

"HOLD IT!" I slammed my hands down on my desk. "This changes EVERYTHING! Missing evidence recovered and brought to the courtroom? This is a big deal!" That shut her up right quick. "Sean, go on."

He stepped down, and handed me the bag. "Well, take a look at the bag. What does it say?"

I looked it over, and read the store's title. "It says, 'Fixit's Parts...' Dashie was shopping for parts to something?"

Sean nodded. "Scootaloo, what's in three days?"

Scoots cocked her eyebrow. "Uh... My birthday?" It all clicked in my mind.

"Parts... A bloody scooter handlebar... Dashie... Scoots' birthday..."

My eyes popped wide open, and I did a little fist pump. "EUREKA!"

(Stop the music, listen to this now)

"Dashie had gone shopping for Scoots' birthday, and got her a new set of handlebars for her scooter, when the murderer cornered her in a back alley! Instead of using her own weapon, the murderer used something that was on hoof! The handlebar!"

Twilight smiled, and shook her head. "But then why was the bag missing from the scene?"

Sean waggled his finger at her. "Not so fast, Twi. You see, it's because the murderer is a very tidy, well kept pony. She threw away the bag on impulse... Hey, that's a nice bruise you have there on your foreleg."

Twilight looked at her foreleg, and quickly went from leaning on the desk, to standing on all fours. She started to sweat a little bit. "What are you trying to say?!"

I started rubbing my chin, thinking as hard as I could. "The murderer was kicked in the foreleg... Is very tidy... No hoofprints on the handlebar... AHA!"

I slammed my hands on my desk, and pointed at Twilight. "TWILIGHT! YOU'RE THE MURDERER!"

Everypony in the courtroom gasped, while Sean and I stood there with smug grins on our faces.

Twilight stepped back, and she went from just sweating, to having sweat pouring off of her, and I saw her mane sticking up in a few places. "Wh- What could POSSIBLY make you assume that?!"

Sean shook his head, and shrugged. "It should be obvious. You DID check books out to Dashie, they were in the bag too. But they were in perfect condition. I've seen the way she treats books. Bending their spines so they don't keep trying to close, folding the pages as marks, occasionally using them as a coaster..." Twilight's eye started twitching. "You were at first going to try to tell her not to do it, but then you saw the opportunity to solve the problem permanently, and you TOOK IT!"

Twilight started gritting her teeth, and she clenched her eyes closed. I could see the vein on her forehead pulsing. But then, she composed herself, and smiled. "But there's only one problem. How could you POSSIBLY connect me to the scene?"

I laughed, and then pointed to her. "The bookmark found on the scene of the crime! You had it with you to give to Dashie, in your attempts to convince her! But after you killed her, you were so focused on hiding the bag and replacing the weapon where it would look like Scoots did it, you forgot to make sure you had EVERYTHING with you!"

Twilight didn't flinch at all. "What if it was Rainbow's bookmark?"

I just stared at her for a few moments, before I just cracked up laughing. "HA! Were you even paying attention to what Sean was saying? Dashie folds the pages to mark it! She doesn't even have a bookmark!"

Twilight slammed her hoof on the desk. "But what if I gave it to her when I checked the books out?!"

I ignored her, and instead pointed to her forehoof. "That bruise! The murderer was kicked in the forehoof, according to Pinkie's testimony. Your bruise looks fresh... AS IF IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY! Oh, and another thing... There aren't any hoofprints on the handlebar. How could that be possible? It had to have been a unicorn... And about the victim's last word, Twi... Oh, what was that last part of your name?"

The judge's eyes popped open in surprise. "By Celestia, you're right!"

I crossed my arms, and a smug grin found its way onto my face. "Oh, I know I am. Anything you'd like to say, Twilight?"

Twilight closed her eyes, and started gritting her teeth again. She started trembling, and then her eyes popped open, gleaming with rage. "Grrrr... I- But she... Scootaloo... The pipe... You... YOU... RRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!" She started screaming at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the courtroom flinched.

"WOAH! What a set of vocal chords!"

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART! HUH?! CURSE YOU! I STUDIED LAW SO HARD! HOW COULD I LOSE?! AAAAAAGH! WHY? WHY? WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" She slammed her head on her desk... And she stayed like that. She went limp, but she was still breathing.

(Stop the music)

"She knocked herself out... I don't think she was acting that time... I don't think she likes being out-smarted..."

The judge cleared her throat, and stared at Twilight. "Well... Uh... I believe I can make my verdict now. I declare the defendant, Scootaloo..."

"NOT GUILTY."

(Listen to this)

Everypony in the courtroom started cheering, and a giant smile broke across my face.

"I did it! I won! Boy was that fun..."

Scoots flew full speed at me, and hugged me around the neck. "You did it! You did it, you did it, you did it, YOU DID IT! You're awesome, dad!" I hugged her back, and I started laughing.

"I know I did! I can't thank you enough for getting this all set up for me, Scoots. I had a blast! And I feel really nostalgic too... I love you, Scoots. this means a lot to me..."

She nuzzled the side of my face. "Hey, no problem. Anything to make my dad happy." I hugged her even tighter, and I felt a tear run down the side of my face. I felt so cared for... So loved... It was the greatest feeling in the world.

*Ahem...*

I spun around to find who cleared their throat... It was Twilight. "So, you woke up already, huh?" She hung her head. I guess I shouldn't have said that.

"Yes... I'm sorry for flipping out like that. It's just... When you outsmarted me, something in my head just snapped. I hope you can forgive me." I scratched Twilight's head a bit.

"Hey, forgive and forget, right? No problem."

She smiled, and then turned to walk away, but she turned her head to say one last thing.

"Excellent work, Mr. Bucy." We both laughed, and she walked away. Then, Sean jumped out in front of me.

"Man, that was INSANE! Come on, lets go get something to eat! I'm starving, my body had to use all of its energy to take all of that awesomeness in! You know, I think you could even give Phoenix a run for his money!"

I let out a little chuckle, but then I cocked my eyebrow. "You really think so?"

He nodded. "I KNOW so. Now come on, lets go get something to eat. Hey, Scoots, you wanna come?" Scoots nodded her head violently, and then I heard her stomach growl.

"Yeah, come on, kiddo, lets go-"

"Kyle... That was amazing." I spun around, another voice catching me off-guard. It was Dashie.

I almost fell over. "What the- When did you get here?"

She laughed at my surprise, and then gave me a big smile. "Whenever the case first started. I didn't want to come say anything until after the case was over. Can I come along for your victory meal?"

Sean shrugged. "Why the heck not? Now come on! Lets eat!" We all started walking out of the courtroom, and Dashie looked up at me, her smile still there.

"You know, you really are something, Kyle."

I cocked my eyebrow at her. "Whaddya mean?"

"The way you fought in there... You seemed very passionate about it. It's like your entire life depended on that case."

I shrugged. "Even though it was just a mock trial, Scoots being the defendant made me feel a sense of duty to have her declared Not Guilty. She's my daughter, after all. I have to protect her, no matter what."

Dashie giggled, and then leaned her head on my side. "You're such a nice guy... I love you."

I scratched her behind her ear, and her smile widened even more. "I love you too, Dashie."

And so, the rest of the evening was spent chatting, and chowing down, all Sean's treat. He insisted. The whole time, I felt like I'd really done something. I don't know why, but I felt a sense of newfound courage, like I could take on the world, no matter what it threw at me. I guess winning a case like that does that to a guy. All I know is, I knew, then and there, that no matter what happened, good or bad...

I was gonna pull through it all.

Oh man, that was a BLAST to write! I actually started writing it as soon as I got home from school two days ago, but sadly, I kept getting distracted by a load of things, so I only got about three-thousand words. The rest was written last night. Thanks for bearing with me and reading all of that. Now then, onwards, to the next adventure! ALLONS-Y!

Chapter 34: Pinkie's Pranking

CHAPTER 34

"Oh man..." I flopped out of bed again. The victory party was just a normal dinner at first, but after Dashie and I sent Scoots home, we went out drinking. There were no barfights this time, but I did manage to drink myself into a stupor.

"Sex is one thing, but drunken sex... Woo doggy." I shook my head to snap out of my slight hangover, and pulled some pants on, and threw on a t-shirt. I heard the sheets on the bed shuffling a bit, so I turned around to see Dashie struggling to get out of bed. I decided to give her a hand.

"You know, sometimes I think you're a bit of a lightweight, Dashie." Trollface.jpg.

"Hey...! I'm no lightweight... My head doesn't hurt, at least..." I shook my head, and chuckled a little bit.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I cracked my joints, starting at my neck, and ending at my back, as I always do in the morning.

"Well, I'm going shopping for Scoots' birthday. I assume you already have a gift?"

I crouched down, and sifted through the massive pile of dirty clothes that had gathered in the corner, and dug through the pockets of all the pants, until I pulled out two tickets to a Wonderbolts performance. Dashie cocked her eyebrow.

"Two tickets? What, are you planning on going with her?"

I shook my head. "Nope. The other one's for Apple Bloom. I told her about it, and suggested she go see Twilight for a cloud-walking spell."

Dashie nodded, and walked out of the room. I looked at myself in the small mirror on the wall, and decided that I looked fine. I used my hand to comb out some of my bed head, but other than that, no grooming for me.

"Well, if Dashie's going shopping, who am I gonna hang out with? I don't feel like just lounging around all day. Too boring... I wonder if Derpy is back from traveling around with The Doctor again... Man, I need to keep better track of my friends."

"Hi Kyle!" Pinkie seemed ecstatic to see me.

"Hey Pinks, how goes it?"

"Good! I've just been busy helping the Cakes. Not much has happened with me lately. How'd you like that case?" She gave me a knowing wink.

"Yeah, about that... You know about Phoenix Wright, don't you?"

She nodded, and started humming a little tune as she walked into the kitchen.

"Saw that coming..."

"Hey, have you seen Vince? I wanna thank him for fixing my arm."

Pinks put a hoof on her chin, and then shrugged. "I dunno. He's probably with Twilight or something."

"I figured. Geeks like them get along well with each other... I can only imagine one of their conversations... Wait, I can't, because it'd be full of all sorts of crazy sciency stuff that I haven't a clue about. Ugh, the appeal of being a scientist, I'll never understand it."

"So! Is that the only reason you came by?"

"Oh, no, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out or something." Pinks smiled mischievously, and I could only connect that to one thing: Fun. "I like that smile..."

"Wanna pull some pranks?"

I smiled like a maniac. "Does Sean love Coke?"

I crouched behind the bush, and snickered. "Oh man, this is gonna rock..."

Pinks put a hoof over her mouth so she didn't burst out laughing, and she looked out over the bush again. "Oh! Shush, shush, here she comes..."

I pushed some of the branches on the bush out of the way, and sure enough, Fluttershy was walking down the street, headed right for a fake bunny I'd rigged up with a load of confetti and a firecracker. Just take a guess at what was going to happen when I lit the fuse I was holding onto.

"OK Kyle, light it now!" I struck a match, and lit the fuse, and it made it's way to the fake bunny. Fluttershy was completely clueless.

"Oh my! You poor little thing! You can't just sit here in the street, come on, lets get you back to my cottage so I can-"

BANG

"EEP!"

Fluttershy jumped as the fake bunny exploded into a mixture of stuffing and confetti. Pinks and I walked out from behind the bush, holding our sides, laughing our heads off.

"Um... If you don't mind me asking... What just happened?" I put my hand on Shy's head, and managed to calm myself down enough to speak coherently.

"Nothing, I just rigged that stuffed bunny with a firecracker and some confetti, and you fell for it!" And then, I doubled over laughing again, and Shy blushed, letting out a small giggle.

"You got me good... That really startled me."

Pinks and I headed off to find our next victim, waving to Shy. Shy looked around her, and then yelled after us.

"Wait! Who's going to clean up this mess!" Pinks and I looked at each other... And then bolted.

Pinks and I climbed into the window of Twilight's library, which was unlocked for some reason.

"So, I have an idea, Kyle... I like to call it, 'The Gender Bender.'"

I stared at her wide-eyed, and my psychotic smile returned. "I already like this plan. Lemme guess, you're gonna swap Twilight's spellbook for that one you have there?"

She nodded. "It's full of a bunch of spell with the same effect: The caster has their gender swapped. Now, lets do this!"

We crept in through the kitchen, and looked out into the main room, sure enough, Twilight was practicing her spells, and she didn't hear us come in.

"Alright Pinks, I'll swap the books, you just sit back, and watch." I crouched down, and slowly made my way into the room. Twilight was focusing intensely on an old shoe, probably trying to turn it into something valuable. I snuck up right behind her, and when she turned her head to look at the book on her other side, I quickly swapped the book she had been looking at with The Gender Bender, and then snuck back to the kitchen.

"Oh, this is gonna be good!" Pinks put a hoof over her mouth, and I just stared, my mad smile still on my face. Twilight looked back to the book, there was a flash of light, and...

"What the..." Instead of Twilight's normal voice, a deep, baritone voice echoed through the tree library. "WHY AM I A STALLION?!"

With that, Pinks and I took our leave, only letting our laughter out when we were a safe distance from the library, and the angered screams of a certain stallion unicorn. Hehehe...

This went on for the rest of the day. Pinks and I did all sorts of crazy things. Sweet Apple Acres became Sweet Pear Acres, Rarity's mud mask was replaced with... Actual mud. And as for Vince... He was asleep. And he likes his hair. And Pinks had bleach. I think you can assume what happened.

"Pinks. That was awesome. Hehehe..."

Pinks held out her hoof. "Yeah, it was. Brohoof?"

"Brohoof." Once the manly gesture was completed, I heard a throat being cleared behind us. It was Sean.

"I hope you two realize that I have to clean your mess up, right?"

(Listen to this)

"Oh... Dear."

Sean grinned evilly, and I saw Rarity, AJ, Twilight (Who was still a stallion) and Vince step up behind him. "And lets not forget that for every prank, there's revenge."

"... Fuck."

"Ah' hope y'all realize that Ah'm not exactly happy with y'all messin' with mah' apples." AJ tipped her stetson out of her eyes.

Nobody else said anything, but they slowly advance on Pinks and I... Until Pinks pulled a small black disk out of her pocket, and threw it on the ground. "Sorry Kyle, gotta go!" She jumped into it... And she went through it. I saw a pink hoof reach back through the hole, and pull itself into itself.

"HOW. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!"

I looked back to the gang of prankees who where advancing on me.

Sean pushed his glassed up his nose. "Now, prepare to feel the full wrath of a Joki Knight."

I looked around frantically for a way to escape. Then, I pointed behind Sean. "HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"

Sean laughed. "Come on man, I'm not falling for tha-"

SPLAT

A pie hit him in the back of the head, and I saw Pinks on a nearby rooftop, and pies began to rain down on the group.

I did a little comical wave to them, and turned on my heels. "SEEYA LATER!"

I made a mad dash for The Everfree.