P-Talks

by GamingPoptart

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1144

Equestrian Event's

Come and join Eclipse as he talks about Equestrian Events. This is a side story to Luna Eclipse but not part of the main Fic. Please do not be offended for the kind of language used in this Fic.

Published 2012-11-07 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-07 22:30:02 UTC

Potato in the Flank

Be careful when walking around your house because you never know when a potato is gonna get stoke up your flank. Hey Whats Up

Hey whats up. A 50 year old Stallion who had a potato stoke up his flank, had to go to the hospital to get the potato surgically removed. I know the first thing going through your mind is that this Stallion was trying to please himself sexually with a potato, but no he was definitely not. He had a solid story his story was that he was hanging his curtains but he lost balance and fell straight on a potato left on his kitchen counter, witch got jammed up his flank because that is completely believable.

He must have shoved something up his flank before, if he just fell on the potato and went straight up his flank. That's a pretty fluke accident. I feel like he's trying to cover up for something, you know. You know he might have done something else with the potato that he doesn't want any other pony to know about. I don't know what that could be. Seriously tho who hangs their curtains, I mean if you don't have curtains in front of your window you probably shouldn't be standing in front of your window.

But maybe that's what happened, maybe he was waking around his house walked by the window. Some pony saw him and he was like Damn I better put down this potato down on the kitchen table that I am munching on, and put up some curtains pronto I don't want people seeing my little penis.

I think he might be telling the truth because that is a pretty elaborate story to come up with. I know if I shoved a potato up my flank and I had to get it removed and I didn't want any pony knowing that I did it. I would come up with a more believable story. Just like the time I got that cucumber stoke up my flank, wait did I just say that out loud. But maybe he made a real complicated story, so that they be like damn that story is really complicated theirs no way he could be lieing. Now I am just confusing myself, but what I mean is that he must have fallen with some force. The wind going against him while he was falling must have spread his flank cheeks apart and he must have been really sweaty by having to reach for those curtains.

Like how in Celestia's name would a potato slide in your flank even if you fell on it with full force, that's a pretty fluke accident. But what if this poor Stallion was telling the truth and he didn't shove the potato up his flank in a sexually act. I feel bad for the guy because you know no way any pony would believe that story, even if it was true. The first thing that will come to ever pony's mind was that it was a sexually act, it just the pony nature really. If this was just a freak accident maybe we should be more careful when were hanging our curtains, and you know not leave a potato out on the counter. before you stand out in front of a window. Because that right their is just wrong.

Eclipse Question of the Day

Why would you even have out a potato out on the kitchen table? I mean their either in a bag or your cooking them. Their really isn't any in between were you have them out in the open, its not like you thaw them or anything. No he definitely shoved that potato up his own flank. What a sick buck.

Killing Father Over a Scooter

Hey Whats Up

Hey whats up. A father toke away his 14 teen year old filly's Scooter because his son had been riding on the scooter way to much. So he toke away the handle bars so the 14 year old could have no way to rid the scooter. And After this kids scooter got taken away this 14 year old filly got really pissed off and went into his fathers room at 1:00 am and killed his fathers by bashing him in the head with a sledgehammer. He killed his father Just because he didn't let him rid his scooter.

"I..I ca..I"

Sorry about that, if your wonder what that was it was just my mind not being able to comprehend another retarded thought coming out of another pony's mind. This filly blegened his father to death. He hit his father in the head twice with the sledgehammer. I am pretty sure you don't need to hit some pony in the head with sledgehammer twice but still. At least he didn't kill his mom, but he did do it right next to her. then his mom got really scared and gave him the handle bars back. Like here take your bucking handle bars back, and the filly actually went outside and started to ride the scooter again for hours until going to bed.

Then the mom called relatives, I don't know why she called relatives before the authorities. But she called her relatives and then the authorities. So let go through what this teen has done for himself because if he really thought this plan through he might realize that he reduced his  amount of scooter riding time. So you killed your father and then you got to rid your scooter a few more hours, but you don't get to rid it for the rest of your life for when you go to the dungeon.

After hereing this story I know when I have filly's and I have to discipline one of them I am gonna lock my bucking door. Then they cant get in, they can kill them selves for all I care as long as I don't die. This 14 year old filly was from Las Pagus and I am wondering if that had something to do with this kid having the balls to kill his father with a sledgehammer. Because if this was a kid in some other country I don't think turned out like this. Now I am not saying that all pony's that live or from their are killers. I am just saying they all look like serial killers. Ok I wait I don't want any pony getting pissed off at me because that might tick some pony's off I don't need a pony trying to kill me.

Not saying that all pony's that live or from their are killers. They just look like serial killers, dammit.

Eclipse Question of the Day

So I want to know what your favorite thing to do to past time? Mine is have sex with my mare-friend.