Ditzy Doo the Superheroby Snapple JackChaptersChapter 1: Let the Madness Begin!Chapter 2: The New Stare MasterChapter 3: A Date with a TimelordChapter 4: A Friend or Foe?Chapter 1: Let the Madness Begin!In this dangerous and violent world, there is truly only one hero to help save the day. And that's me; the fearless and brave pony hero, The Derp. By day, I am a normal mail pony, but by night, I keep the city safe. I have saved the day in my small town of Ponyville so many times, that I am considered a masked legacy. I have kept my secret from my most loved ones. Including my own daughter. But it is for their own good. I must protect them from the truth, and my enemies. Even if it means doing unspeakable things, I will do everything in my power to help a pony in need. From saving a kitten stuck in a tree, to fighting off a giant robot from smashing down houses with my muffin cannon. And I can tell you this, muffins make the best missles and tasty after school snacks. It isn't an easy job, but it's worth it knowing that I have done something good in the end. When ever there is a pony crying for help, I'll be there; When a comet is heading towards earth and needs to be stopped, I'll be there; When there is a worm hole in space sucking up everything in it's way, I'll be there; When there i- "Ditzy!" Shouted a voice that woke me from my slumber. "Huh?! What?! Giant kittens smashing houses! Robots stuck in trees!" I shouted with a karate chop hitting my boss in the face. "Ow!" "Oh. Sorry Boxxy." I said blushing. "What in the hay were you thinking!?" "I must have dozed off. Sorry again Boxxy." "Look, just go take this package to Pinkie Pie. Ok?" he said handing me an oddly shapeded box. "Oh, umm... sure." I flew off with the package in my mouth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ugh! I had that dream again! I thought to myself. I gotta stop sleeping during work or I'm gonna get fired! I love working for the post office because I get to do good things. It may sound silly, but I like knowing that at the end of the day, I did something good; even if it is just delivering some mail. It makes me feel great. Like I just ate a plate full of fresh baked muffins with little green gummy worms in them. Ohhhhhh, those are the best. Little green gummy worms, it makes my mouth water just thinking about them! "Ditzy! Hey Ditzy!" Pinkie Pie shouted just coming out of Sugar Cube Corner. "Hey Pinkie Pie! I got your package!" "Really!? Oh that's soooooooooooooooo great! Come down!" Pinkie Pie lead me to her work space where she made her tasty treats. The place was covered with frosting and flour and other icky messy stuff. But I guess that was normal. I've kinda have had a second opion about Pinkie lately. At first, she would be so happy and bubbly, but now she just cramps herself in her work space doing Celestia knows what! But I don't really know Pinkie that well, so I just keep my concerns about her to myself. "So Pinkie, can I ask, if I may, what is in this package? I've never seen anything like it." "Oh, it's a special ingredent for a cupcake I'm making for Rainbow Dash." She told me with a somewhat evil voice. "What kind of ingredent?" "It's... umm... gummy worms... yeah that's it... gummy worms... I know how much YOU like them, so I'll make you one too." "Wow, thanks Pinkie! But, could you make it into a muffin?" "Yeah yeah whatever. Now get out. I gotta start baking." the party pony ordered, pushing me out the door. I started to say something, but the door closed before I could even utter a word. That was... odd... Oh well! I don't need to be worried! Besides, it's time for Dinky to get off school. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The rest of the night was normal. Me and Dinky ate muffins for dinner, argued with her to brush her teeth, watched a little bit of TV, then went to bed. Just normal stuff. Normal. I HATE normal. Normal is just another word for boring. And boring is something that I don't like to put up with! Sometimes, I wish that my life were more exciting. Maybe if I was a superhero like in my dreams, life would be more exciting. And maybe, I could be a better mother to Dinkie. I think she's embrassed of me. Ponies don't excually 'approve' of my googly eyes. But they were what I were born with. "Help! Oh help me! Won't somepony save me?!" A cry for help rang threw my ears. "I'll save you!" "The Derp! Thank Celestia your here!" The frightened pony called out as he was hanging onto a branch for dear life. The damm had broke again! And he was about to drown! I quickly swooped down faster then a speeding bullet to save him, almost breaking the fabrics of speed and sound as I did. Faster, feeling the wind in my mane, faster, tasting the air, faster, until... YOINK! I Grabbed him. I did it. I had saved a life of another pony. And not a momment to soon. The branch had just broke when I finally reached for his hoof. "Oh thank you Derp! Thank you!" He praised me. "No trouble at all." We landed in the middle of the town square where the whole town waited for us. "Derp! Derp! Derp! Derp!" The crowd shouted my name. "Derp! Derp! Derp! Derp! Mom! Mom! Mom!" "Huh?" "Mommy! Wake up!" Dinky jumped up and down on my tummy. "What? What happend?" I asked not knowing where I was. "Pinkie Pie came over today and left you this." Dinkie handed me a green muffin. "Oh my gummy worm muffin! How nice." Just then, a car horn beeped. "Oh, that must be your father. Have a good time Dinkiy." Dinkiy grabbed her suitcase and ran out the door to spend the weekend with her dad. "What an interessting looking muffin." I said to myself excaming the odd pastry. I've never seen a green glowing muffin before. But this was one of Pinkie's muffins. Anything could be possible when it comes to that crazy pony. I slowly took a bite out of the glowing muffin. It tasted... different then usual muffins. It tasted like... like... Everything went black after that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I leaned back in my hot tub with a cigar in my mouth and a glass of merlot in my hoof. I was living the good life alright. A mansion, 10,000,000 bits in the safe, all the wine I could ask for, a happy and healty daughter, and a perfect life. What more could a pony ask- "Miss Doo, the mayor called. She said it was... an emergency." "Oh, thank you Jackson." I answered the phone. "Hello, Mrs. Mayor?" "Derp, we have a problem." I knew all too well what that meant. "I'm on it." In ten seconds flat, I put on my super suit and flew out the door. "Miss. Doo... Miss Doo? Miss Doo!" "Ah uh what!?" "Oh good, your finally awake." "Wh- whe- where am I?" "Your in the hospital Miss. Doo. It was lucky that we got you here in time." The Nurse told me looking at a clipboard. I found my hoof attached to an IV. I'm really in the hospital. "Well what happend?" "You ate what appears to be a radioactive muffin. May I ask, why in Equestria would you eat something like that?" "I... I'm not sure." "Well, Dr. Whooves should be with you in a while." The nurse told me as she walked out the door. Well Ditzy, you've gotten yourself into one big mess. I guess it could be worse. I could have fallen out of the window again, walk into a door again, forget how to blink again, tell Dinkiy that sh- Dinky. I quickly threw the IV down and flew out the door. "Oh Dinky. Please be ok. Please be ok!" Flying past nurses and other ill ponies, all I could think of was Dinky. Does she know what happened? Is she still with her dad? I prayed that she was ok. I was so worried that I didn't even noticed that I was flying much faster than usual. I just kept thinking about my little girl. I zipped past nurse Red Heart and Dr. Whooves. "Oh my! Nurse Red Heart! Who was that?" "Thats Ditzy Doo Dr." She answered him picking up her papers. "Hmmm... Ditzy... Why does that name ring a bell?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh Dinky, please Celestia be ok." How could I have been so derpy!? Eating a glowing muffin. What was I thinking?! Oh Celestia, please let my baby be alright. I was so determined to get to her, I didn't care who got hurt in my way. I wasn't even sure who I was passing by really. In fact, how fast was I going? I finally reached her father's house in Manehatton. Not sure how I got there so fast. It usually takes hours to get from Ponyville to Manehatton. Huh... Anyway, I knew he kept the door locked, so I did something I thought I could never do; I broke it down. At least, I thought I did. "Dinky!" "Mommy?" "Ditzy?!" "Oh, Hello Travis." "... Your looking well... wait how did you get in my house?!" "Never mind that! I need to see Dinky!" "Dinky and I were having lunch you physco!" A cool breeze flew on the back of my neck. Didn't I close the door? I looked back to see that half of the house was missing. Did... did I do that? "Mommy, you broke daddy's house!" Dinky said in shock "I... I didn't... mean to... I'm sorry Travis." "Get out of my house!" He demanded. "I... I... Ohhh!" In anger and stupidy, I flew back to Ponyville. I didn't know my own stength! I can't even hold a two pound box in my mouth, let alone break off half a house. Come to think of it... how DID I do that? I stopped myself to think in mid air. If I can break off half of a house, then... what else can I do? "Look out!" A voice called out to me. CRASH Ow, what was that? "Oh my gosh, Ditzy! I'm so sorry! Do you need any help?" Rainbow Dash asked me. I rubbed my head still not sure what just happened. "Huh? Oh Rainbow Dash. Was that you who bumped into me?" I asked still rubbing my head. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Well, if you don't need any help, I guess I'll be on my wa-" "Wait!" She stopped. "Yes?" "I was wondering... if... you know... how did you do a sonic rainboom?" She looked at me dazed. "Well, Ditzy, it takes years and year of practice to truly master a sonice rainboom. But I just have to fly fast. It would probably take you... ummm... let's say eight to seventeen years to make one." She told in proud voice. "Oh yeah? I bet you I can do one in ten seconds flat." "Pfft, don't kid yourself. Like I said, it takes years and years or prac-" "Can't hear you! I'm too busy doing a sonic rainboom!" I shouted far away. Faster than a speeding bullet, I flew downwards hoping to make a sonic rainboom. Faster, faster, faster untill... BOOM It happened. A sonic rainboom. Well, not really a rainboom, more like a muffinboom. Severaly of them! The more I flew down, the more muffinbooms would... well... boom! This proved it. I really did have super powers. I was a superhero, like in my dreams. My life was going to change after that moment. I would use these powers to do good in my small town and anywhere else I am needed. I am, the Derp. Chapter 2: The New Stare MasterIn the magical land of sweets and muffins, I lay on a soft fluffy bed of gooey marshmallow cream. Resting my eyes, and licking a muffin. "Ditzy, oh Ditzy Doo." A sweet voice whispered in my ear. I opened one eye to see who was calling my name, to see a giant muffin. "Mr. Muffin! I wasn't sleeping, I was just... resting." "Yeah, now get up! It's time for the party!" I sprung up from the icky bed of goe to get dressed up for the big party. I picked out a big, pink, poofy lace dress. Me and Mr. Muffin skipped gayly to the big party at Pudding Moutain. Seeing along the way, Count Cupcake, Baby Cookie, Prince Cake, and Princess Gummy Bear. We danced on the shiny dance floor, made of bouncy gum drops. "Oh Ditzy, I've never felt this way before about anyone. Will you marry me?" Mr. Muffin asked getting on one knee. "Oh Mr. Muffin, I would love to marry you. But... my heart belongs to... another." "Who?!" I woke up in my soft, plushy bed. "Oh Celestia, I gotta stop eating muffins before bed." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got out of bed, my mane tangled and my eyes googly as ever. I looked out my window to Celestia's beautiful morning sun. It was an amazing sight. Almost as amazing as a muffin. Mmmmm muffins. It reminded me of something that happened yesterday. A sonic muffinboom as I call them. I thought for a minute about if it really did happen or not. It almost felt too good to be possible. Maybe it was one of my dreams. Maybe I don't have any super powers. I ate my breakfast muffins and headed to work. When I got to the door, I could see nearly 50 ponies reading the news next door. The newpaper stand was right next to the post office. I went inside and saw Boxxy reading a newspaper. "Yo Ditzy, ya seen the paper this morning?" He asked not taking his eyes off the paper. "Boxxy, you know I don't read the paper. Too many words." I told him punching in my work card. "Well, somepony did a sonic rainboom the other day. And it wasn't Rainbow Dash." I knew what he was talking about. "Let me see that." I said as I took the newspaper from his hoof Local pegasus, Rainbow Dash, claims that she did not make the sonic rainboom that day. But somepony else did. Our local news team wanted the name, but she refused to tell us saying, "I don't recall the pony who did this so called, 'muffinboom' but I don't care. There's only one pony in Ponyville that can do something as awesome as a sonic rainboom. And that's me! Rainbow Danger Dash." Wow, so... it wasn't a dream. I did do a sonic muffinboom. I also saw and article about Pinkie Pie getting arrested for trying to poison Rainbow Dash and saw off her body in her basement, but that wasn't important! "So, ya know who that was Ditzy?" Boxxy asked. "I... um... not sure Boxxy. I- I gotta... put... make... unbox... ship... I just gotta do something!" I told him, not sure what I should have said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. Whooves did some detective work on his computer to find out who Ditzy Doo was and why it rang a bell. "D, i, t, z, confound these hooves!" He cursed at his hooves. The computer read, fresytw348 "I'm going to have to find a way to type... but how?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After work that day, I flew off to Manehatton to pick up Dinky. Maybe I don't have super powers. That sonic muffinboom could have been pure dumb luck! I'm going to have to find out what other powers I have, if I do have super powers. When I got to the house, it was still broken in half. Oh yeah, I did that too huh? That still doesn't prove anything. I flew in through the big hole and saw Dinky still asleep on the couch with her teddy bear while the TV was still on the Power Puff Girls. That was her faveourtie show. Still have no idea what they're suposed to be... oh well. "C'mon angel, let's go home." I told her as she still was sleeping. Her body was so soft and warm. She was a gift from Celestia herself alright. The doctor's told me that I wouldn't be able to give birth to a child. But 9 months later, she came into my life. Now she's the center of my life. She's gotten so big after those six years. She's so smart and hyper I can barley keep up with her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I waited for the traffic signal to turn green before crossing the street. I couldn't wait to get home. I haven't been with Dinky since I found out about the super powers. It took forever for that traffic signal to turn green. Usually I would just fly, but I didn't want to take the chance on doing a sonic muffinboom again. "Hey look, it's Retard and Retard Jr!" A small voice called behind me. I turned around to see Diamond Tiara and Sliver Spoon. Those mean girls from Dinky's school. "Oh hello Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. How are you?" "Oh were good Ms. Retard. How are you?" "... Excuse me?" "You heard us." They replied together. "I think you should appoligize." "Hmm... let me think about that? No." Diamond Tiara said giving me a razzberry afterwards. "Appoligize. Now." I said wiping away the spit from my face. "M- mommy?" "Well look whos up, Retard Jr." Silver Spoon said. "Hey! Nopony talks about my daughter that way!" I shouted getting right in there little bitch faces. "Oh yeah, well whos gonna stop us?" I knew I had to defend my daughter's honor. But how? Of course! One of my super powers! But which one? I only had the sonic muffinboom and the super strength. I could throw them to Canterlot, but then I'd go to jail. That wasn't going to work. What should I do?! "Retards! Retards! Retards! Retards!" They chanted pointing at my googly eyes. "That is ENOUGH!" I shouted at them, staring into there little eyes. I must have done something powerful because they stopped dead in there tracks. "Now you appoligize to me and Dinky." "... Were sorry Dinky... Mrs. Dinky's mom." They said in defeat. "Good." The light finally turned green. "Your lucky I'm not going to tell your parents." I walked off not looking back. "S- Silver Spoon. Why are there two of you?" "Two of me? Why are there two of you?!" "I... I can't see straight!" I looked back to see what was happening. When I looked back, I saw their eyes... goggly. They... they looked like me. Did... Did I do that? That must be my new power! Derp stare! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we got home, we ate muffins for dinner. "Hey... mommy?" Dinky asked eating her muffins. "Yes baby?" I asked back washing my plate at the sink. "That was really cool what you did with Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara." "Oh... you saw that." "Yeah... and it was awesome!" "It... it was?" I asked her wiping her face from the mufiin crumbs. "Yeah! It totally kicked flank!" "Dinky! Language!" "Sorry mommy." "It's ok. I'll it slide this time. Because it was pretty kick flank." We both laughed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Ditzy was asleep, I did some research on the computer to see what just what I should do with my powers. "Lets see... porn, porn, porn, porn, clop fiction, porn, porn, porn, here we go!" I clicked on a website filled with superhero comics. I read all of them before passing out on the keyboard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mommy? Mommy... MOMMY!" "Huh what?! Llamas dancing the hulu! The letter H swiming in pudding! What? Oh hey Dinky. Did I sleep on the keyboard?" "Mm-hmm." I looked at the clock to see what time it was. "Oh Celestia were gonna be late!" I quickly got my mailbag and a breakfast muffin for me and Dinky to eat on the way to school and work. "Did you do your homework?" I asked Dinky struggling to get her backpack packed. "Yes." "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yup." "Did you eat your muffin like a good girl?" "Uh huh." "Did you honk the clown nose?" "Ye- clown nose? What clown nose?" "Gotcha!" I said tapping her nose. "Oh mommy, your so silly." "C'mon c'mon! Let's go!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Have a good day at school muffin butt." I told Dinky giving her a kiss on the nose. "Have a good day at work mommy muffin." She said back. I waved to her good bye as she skipped to class. We always make up little names for each other before we say good bye. It's kinda our little special way of saying I love you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And I was like, BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOH THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MI-" "Uhh... Boxxy... what are you singing?" I asked him as I walked in the post office. "I... uh... I wasn't singing... I was... ah who am I kidding? I GOT BIEBER FEVER DITZY AND IT'S SOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING!" "Oooo... kkkk... I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that... So, what do I have to do today boss?" "Well, the only job left is the stamp licking." "Yes!" I exclaimed jumping into the air. I loooooooove licking the stamps. They taste sooooooo good. Along with the packing peanuts and the empty boxes, stampes are my most favourite thing in the whole post office! "Yo Ditzy, did ya see the paper today?" Boxxy asked handing me the paper. "Boxxy, for the second time, I don't read the paper." "Just look at it." "Fiiiiiiiiine." I grabbed the paper and began to read. 'Local fillies go Derp eyes.' "Wow, doesn't the media have anything else to write about?" "Eh not really. Oh and Pinkie Pie escaped from jail the other day. She'll probaly go on another killing spree." I didn't pay attention to anything Boxxy said. "Heh heh, oh Garfield. Your a cat and you like pony food. You can't eat pony food your a cat! Silly orange cat." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After work, I went to somewhere I thought I'd never go to. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Where everything is chic, unique, and magnifigue!" Rarity greeted me as the little bell that was above the door rang. "Um... Hi Rarity." I never really talked to Rarity before. So it was indeed awkward. "Oh hello Ditzy Doo, what can I get for you?" "I was... wondering... if you could... make me a superhero suit." "Whatever for darling? Nightmare Night isn't for 7 months!" "It isn't for Nightmare Night." "Aw, of course it isn't. Poor Ditzy." She said pating my head. "What are you doing?" "Why, I'm patting your head darling." "Oh Celestia... Look Rarity... Ditzy don't roll that way." "Aw listen to your cute little lisp." "Lisp?" I asked with no lisp in my voice at all. "Yes your lisp sweet heart. And I just want to say, I am soooo sorry about your illness." "Illness?! What in the name of Molestia's glowing horn are you talking about?!" "Aw Ditzy, you don't have to put on a brave face for me. I know that your... well... screwed up in the brain." Oh god she thinks I'm retarded. "Duuuuuurrrrrrrrr her her huuuuuuur, I jest I do haz a llllllisp." I said pretending to be what she thought I was just for laughs. "Oh, you poor poor darling. Here, I'll make your Nightmare Night coustume, no charge! It's just going to take a week to get it in." "Aww a week?! I don't have time for a... I mean... Duuuurrrrrrrrr... A week is equal to apple sauce." "Of course it is Ditzy. Of course it is." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. Whooves was still trying to figure out a way to type on the computer. "Hmm... let's see... I can travel through time but I can't figure out how to type." He said to himself, tapping a pencil against the table. "... Grrr! As Celestia as my witness, I shall find a way to type!" He said shouting at the pencil. "Oh look at me. Talking to a pencil!" He said to himself, taping the pencil on the keyboard. "If only I could find some way to type... but how?" He said still tapping the pencil on the keyboard. "Oh Celestia! If you can hear me! Please, send my a sign! A hint! Anything!" He shouted to the sky with still tapping the pencil. "Wait... hold onto your hooves... I am a genuis! I'll hire a typer for me! Thank you pencil!" He said to the pencil kissing it. He ran out the door to go find a typer for him. "Did somepony call my name?" Princess Celestia said as she flew the room. "Hmm... I wonder who that was calling my nam- oh sweet a computer! Time for some clop fiction!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sighed to myself coming out of Rarity's store. Why does everypony think I'm a retard? I don't think I'm that stupid. I mean, sometimes I'm not the brightest pony, maybe even a little bit derpy, but certainly not retarded. Well, maybe sometimes I do seem a little- BUMP "What the? Great Scout! I'm so sorry! Do... wait... aren't you Ditzy Doo?" "Huh? Yes I am why?" I asked rubbing my head. "I'm Dr. Whooves. I've been acually been trying to find you." "You... have?" I asked as he helped me up. "Yes. I saw you flying by the hospital. And I must say, it was very impressive." "Really?" I asked with a doopey smile and rosey cheeks. "Yes really. Can I ask how you did it?" Oh no... "I... I umm... gotta go!" I said, flying off at sonic speed. "Wow... what a mare!" Chapter 3: A Date with a TimelordBefore we begin! I just wanted to let you know, this chapter was a PAIN IN THE FLANK! Specail thanks to GrimWolf and NightWing for the awesome ideas! Without them, this chapter would be crap. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next few days were normal at the most. Dinky and I watched a bunch of super hero movies like Spider Mare, Spider Mare 2: Return of the Green Parasprite, Bat Stallion, Wonder Mare, Super Stallion, and other poorly named movies copy writed by Snapple Jack Productions. Heh heh, I broke the fourth wall. And this sentence is blue. U mad bro? "Mommy, I'm sleepy." Dinky said with dropey eyes. "Aw baby. Go on to bed, I'll be in there in a second to tuck you in and read you a bed time story." She yawned before mummbling "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay." I watched her slowly stumble into her room. I sure do love that goofy filly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright silly filly, what'cha want me to read ya tonight?" I asked plopping down on the bed next to Dinky. "Let's see, there's The Princess and the Colt, The Monster in the Forest-" "Monster in the Forest! Monster in the Forest!" She exclaimed jumping up and down. "Ha ha, ok ok calm down!" She settled down, got her doll, and listened. As I cleared my throat, the phone began to ring. "Who could that be?" I asked myself, about to pick up the phone. "Hello?" "Ditzy? Umm... H- hey! How are you?" The pony asked in a nervous voice. "Oh, Dr. Whooves! I'm fine, just about to read Dinky a bed time story." "That's nice... Uh hey! I was just wondering... if umm... if you want to... go to this coustume party with me... I have an extra ticket... I mean if you want to! You don't have to of course! But-" "Sure, I'd love to go!" "I mean if you don't want to go with me that's f- really?!" "Yeah it sounds like fun." "Alright! So I'll... pick you up tomorrow at 8 then!" "It's a date." "Ok then! Be sure to wear a coustume." "Will do. Bye Dr." "Bye." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright Dinky, let's read this bad boy!" "Yay!" I opended the book to a colorful selection of pop up pictures. "Once apon a time, there was a little green monster named Fud. Fud lived in a tiny forest in the middle of no where with his parents Thud and Mud. Fud loved his pet dog but one day-" I looked over to see if Dinky was still paying attention but she was fast asleep. Smiling, I tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good night muffin." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day, I thought I might go see Rarity. Since the coustume ball was tonight, I might as well go as as a superhero. Ding the little bell rang as I entered the boutique. "Ditzy! How are you darling?" Rarity asked holding the suit in her hooves. "Hey Rarity. Just thought I might pick up my coustume." "Of course darling! Here you are." She said handing me to coustume. It was amazing! "Wow Rarity! It's amazing!" I said, marviling at the amazing stitch work. "Isn't it?" She asked also marviling at the coustume. Just then, a buzz rang in my ears. It was an irritating buzz, like there was a fly stuck in my head. I rubbed my head hoping that this was just an migrane but it didn't go away. "Ditzy, are you ok dear?" "Yeah, I'm fine. Hey do you have any migrane pills?" I asked still rubbing my head. "Of course I'll get you some." The concerned unicorn said heading towards the kitchen. The pain was killing me. The intense buzzing turned into stinging and then thumping that made me moan in utter pain. It seemed like forever until Rarity came back with two head ache pills and a glass of water. "Here you are darling." She handed me the item in her hooves. "Thanks." I took the pills but the pain didn't go away. The pain kept growing and growing until I felt like I was going to pop. I was on the edge of bursting out and screaming and kicking when I started to hear a small noise. It sounded like... a piano. "Hey Rarity... are you... playing music?" I asked still rubbing my head. "What was that?" She asked taking out her ear buds from her iPony. "What are you listening to?" "Beethoofen's piano solo. Why?" "Oh um... no reason." How can I hear what Rarity is listening to?! She has ear buds on! Unless... "I... I need to go." I said running out the door with the coustume on my back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As I flew above the clouds, I could hear the voices of the ponies down below saying, "Hello!" and "How are you?" The only explnation I could think of was super power. "Super hearing huh? Cool!" I told myself flying back home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Now Dinky, you be good for Granny Smith ok?" I told Dinky pointing to the sleeping elder. "Ok mommy." She said brushing her doll's mane. "Well, what do you think? Swanky huh?" I asked her, showing off my superhero outfit. "You look great mommy! Like a superhero!" I bent down and gave Dinky a kiss. "I love you muffin butt." "And I love you mommy muffin." Knock Knock Knock I opended the door to see Dr. Whooves in a fancy tux with flowers in his mouth. "Dr. Whooves? I thought we agreed to met each other at the ball." "Ih know bet..." He spit the flowers out of his mouth and began to talk propperly. "I know but I couldn't wait to see you. Wow... you look... cool..." He said trying his best not to use the word beautiful too quickly. "Really? Thanks. You look... what are you supose to be again?" I asked examing the odd get up for a coustume ball. Dr. Whooves wasn't suposed to be dressed as anypony. He just wanted to look nice for this extraordinary mare. "I'm um..." He had to think. "I know! Your Buck, James Buck." "Yes! That's it I'm that!" He said giving me the flowers. "Well what are we waiting for Mr. Buck? Let's go!" I shouted grabbing him by his hoof and dragging him out the door. "Bye mommy!" Dinky shouted from the door as she watched us run playfully. Dinky closed the door quietly and ran to go get her bedtime book. Dinky looked at the colorful pictures and imgained herself living with the monsters in her book. Wait... Dinky remembered that the monster lived in a forest... there's a forest in Ponyville... maybe the monster's lived there! Dinky had to know if they did. She grabbed her flashlight, her doll, and her raincoat and headed outside. She didn't worry about Granny Smith, she knew she would be asleep for the rest of the night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Me and Dr. Whooves walked together to the coustume ball. Dr. Whooves began to sweat. He wasn't sure what to say until they got there. "So... Ditzy... how's Dinky?" He asked walking close to me. "Dinky? She's ok. Hyper, but ok." I said giggling afterwards. "Do you love Dinky?" He asked feeling stupid for asking that. "Of course I love her. She's my whole world." "Oh yeah." He said facehoofing himself when I wasn't looking. "So, where is this ball anyway?" "Trust me. It's somewhere very special." My mind raced with thoughts. Maybe it was at the beach, or the post office, or maybe even in a shoe! "Here we are!" The timelord exclaimed opening the door for me. "This is it?" "Yup." "But... this is the hospital." "I know." "Wow... swanky." I said going into the dark building "Ain't it?" He said closing the door behind him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There were so many ponies at the dance. Some paitents, some doctors and nurses, and some who just came here to be here. I watched in amazement as the ponies socalized and danced. "Why are you so amazed? It's not that special." Dr. Whooves asked. "It's just that... I've never been to a party before." "Really?" The timelord asked in shock. "Nopony has ever invited me to one." I said trying to hide my face. "Well then, let's make your first party memorberable." He said handing me his hoof. I wasn't quite sure what he was doing. "Well, will you?" "Will I what?" I asked still puzzled. "Dance with me?" My eyes widened at that question. Nopony as ever asked me to dance with them before. My heart melted and tears of joy formed in my eyes. "O- okay." I said grabbing his hoof and trying to play it cool. He lead me to the dance floor as the music turned from 80's disco to 90's slow dancing music. I was nervous. I didn't know how to dance, but somehow, I felt like I could dance to the moon and back. "Do you know how to slow dance?" I shook my head. "Here. I'll teach you." He said placing his body against mine. He gentely guided my hooves behind his back. I wasn't sure what he was doing at first, but then it clicked in my head. I laid my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and let the timelord lead. As we danced, I could feel something in the pit of my tummy. I never felt this feeling before. Could this... be what they call 'love'? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dinky walked and walked until she reached the Everfree forest. It was dark and spooky but she knew she had to be brave like mommy. She turned on her flashlight and quietly walked into the forest. "Helloooo... Mr. Monster?" She asked as if anypony could hear her. She looked left and right to try to find the monster. "Mr. Monster? He-" BUMP Dinky bumped into some sort of icky, green fork in the road. She poked it to try to find out what it was. It grumbled as she did. "A monster! I found it! I found it! I found it! I found-" She countiuned to scream 'I found it' until the monster looked over to see what was causing all the noise. "I found it! I found it! I f-" RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR The monster rawred right into Dinky's face. "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" She screamed running away from the scary goe monster. It rawred as it chased after the frightend filly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ditzy, you dance beauitfly." Dr. Whooves said as we broke free from our dancing postion. "Thanks." He took his hoof to my chin. We both stared deeply into our love struck eyes. Dr. Whooves hesitated for a while until he finally puckered his lips. I knew what he was doing and puckered mine as well. Our lips were just about to met until, Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! "Dinky?" I asked myself. "What about Dinky?" Dr. Whooves asked in concern. "I gotta go!" I shouted, flying out the door at sonic speed. Dr. Whooves hung his head in sadness. "This was fun. We should do it again." I said running back to him giving the timelord a peck on the cheek. His body stifened with thumping hearts for eyes. I had no time to try to figure out what had happened to his body, my daughter was calling me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Dinky called out still running from the monster, leading it to Ponyville. The ponies of Ponyville watched in horror as the monster destroyed the town. Flying above the night sky, I scanned Ponyville to try to find Dinky. "Huh?" I stopped myself in mid-air, watching the green goop monster destroy the town. Quickly, I swooped down to get a closer look. Terrifed ponies bumped into me when I landed on the ground. I was still worried about Dinky, but right now I foucused my attention on the green beast. I flew towards the monster and knew what I had to do. Without questions, I used my Derp Stare to calm the beast down. The green goop monster started to get derpy and stumbled dizzly. If he fell, he could crush an innocent pony's house! Swiftly, I flew under the monster, grabbed some nearby rope, and began to tie his feet down. This only made it worse because he began to hop furriously, causing an earthquake. I had to put a stop to this! Before the monster could fall over, I used my super strengh to pick the over grown pile of goe. I could barely keep ahold of him. He was slipping from my hooves. I had to do what I was about to do quick. With my eyes closed, I began to twirl around in the air. I kept twirling and twirling until the monster slipped through my hooves and flew towards the Everfree forest. "And stay out!" The crowd shouted with joy as I flew back to the ground. It was just like in my dreams! "Thank you for saving our fair town masked hero!" The mayor said walking up to me. I didn't reply with words but with a simple nod. "I dub this masked hero..." She waited for me to tell her who I was. I whispered it in her ear. "The Derp!" The crowd grew louder and louder as they chanted 'The Derp!' This was just like in my dreams. Only, better. Chapter 4: A Friend or Foe?"That should have been me... That should have been me!" Rainbow Dash screamed outloud, knocking over a table at the thought of last night. "I should have been the one to save them! Not that joke of a hero! I'm the hero! Me!" "Oh um... Rainbow Dash... if I could um... just say something... I um..." "I'm the one who saved a baby from falling down a hill!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed smashing her hoof on a Fluttershy's favorite coffee table. "I umm... I know your mad and everything but maybe if we-" "Quite for a second Fluttershy! I'm thinking." Rainbow shouted drawing plans on a dry erase board. "Where did you get that board anyw-" "I got it!" Rainbow Dash shouted from the air with a light bulb over her head. "If I can't be a superhero... I'll be a supervillan!" "But maybe if we-" "And you can be my side kick!" Rainbow Dash said to the shaking pegasus, hiding under her couch from all the yelling. "S-s-s-s- sidekick? That sounds-" "Awesome? Radical? Super extreme awesome amazing?!" "Scary... like... dragon scary." Fluttershy said, jumping up from fear at the word 'dragon'. "Oh for Pete sake Fluttershy! Don't be such a scaredy pony!" Rainbow Dash said, snatching up the frightened pony from her couch chamber. "But... but..." Fluttershy tried to speak up but it was too late. Rainbow Dash had already flown out the door with her in hoof. Fluttershy squealed in fear, having no idea where the hay they were going. The blue pegasus looked from side to side as she and her frightened friend flew past ponies, trying to find what everit was she was trying to find. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Quil." "Check!" "Partachment." "Check!" "Extra ink." "Check!" "Extra extra ink." "Uh... check." "Perfect! We have everything we need to write a letter to Princess Celestia!" Twilight Sparkle shouted with joy to her assitenet, Spike. "Ready to write?" "Ready!" Spike said determinded. "Dear Princess Celes-" "Look out!" A blur of blue and yellow shouted heading toward Twilight's opended window. THUD! The bookself filled with books and important doucments fell to the floor all at once. Twilight poped her head out of the pile with a book on her head. "Ugggh... Huh? Rainbow Dash! Look what you did! I just arranged those books from oldest to newest! Now I have to do it all over again!" Twilight shouted with fire in her eyes. The dazed pegasus poped her head from the pile of books. "It's not my fault! You should keep these things in a box or something so they won't fall out!" Rainbow shouted pushing the books off her body. Fluttershy didn't want to be part of the arugment, so she just kept quiet under the cluster of books. Spike was already out of the pile, trying to put the books back up to where the belonged. "Well... it doesn't matter. So, what are you doing here anyway?" Twilight asked using her magic to pull her struggling pegasus friend out of the cluster of books. "I need super powers!" Twilight was surprised at what her friend just asked. Why on earth would she need something as silly as super powers? "Rainbow, I can't give you super powers. In fact, why would you even need them?" Twilight asked, trying to constrate on reselfing the fallen books. "I need to out shine the Derp!" "The who?" Twilight asked in confusion "The Derp! Didn't you see her last night?" Rainbow asked, not helping Twilight clean up the mess. "No. I was asleep." "You were asleep at 6:30? That's a little early even for you." "I know, but Pinkie Pie came over and offered me a cupcake. I ate it and everything else kinda went black." Rainbow looked confused at Twilight. "Anyway, I can't give you any powers. It's not possible. Super powers aren't real." Twilight told her friend, still reselfing the books. "C'mooooooooooooooooooooon!" Rainbow Dash whined as if she were Rarity. "Sorry. It just can't be done. Besides, your already the fastest and strongest pony I know." Twilight told her friend still using her magic to pick up the books. "Yeah... I am... I am! Come on Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash said heading out the door. The rainbow pegasus waited. "Fluttershy?" Rainbow waited for a reply. Fluttershy didn't answer. Rainbow Dash dove back into the book pile to find Fluttershy. Rainbow grabbed the yellow pegasus from her book fortress she had made. Fluttershy didn't even notice. She was too caught up in this book titled, 100 Different Ways to Control Your Friends. Rainbow saw the book and gave her friend a stern stare. Fluttershy looked up from her book and squealed in fear at Rainbow's mad face. She dropped the book and blushed. Rainbow rolled her eyes back in her head and flew out the door with Fluttershy on her back. The door slammed which made Twilight lose her foucus. Her lavender colored magic instanlty died down, causing the books to once again, fall down all at once. Twilight grunted before angrily picking up the books once again and placing them back where the belonged. "So Twilight, is it really impossible to use your magic to give somepony powers?" Spike asked, helping Twilight with the books. "Of course not Spike. I just said that because I know Rainbow Dash would abuse them if I actually gave her super powers. Although... having powers does sound like... fun..." "No. Twilight, your joking!" "I am kidding Spike! You didn't think I would actually give myself powers did you?" Twilight asked jokingly as she rubbed Spike's head. "Heh heh no. I guess not. Hey Twi, is it ok if I go by Rarity's for a bit?" "Sure Spike. Have fun!" Twilight waved as Spike ran out the door with hearts for eyes. She watched her dragon friend run straight to Carousel Boutique to make sure the coast was clear. She then closed the blinds, locked the door, and ran toward her beloved bookself to make sure her spellbook had a spell for super powers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AUTHOR'S NOTE I know this chapter was way too short! But I'll make it up to you guys. I promise. Sorry again
Chapter 1: Let the Madness Begin!In this dangerous and violent world, there is truly only one hero to help save the day. And that's me; the fearless and brave pony hero, The Derp. By day, I am a normal mail pony, but by night, I keep the city safe. I have saved the day in my small town of Ponyville so many times, that I am considered a masked legacy. I have kept my secret from my most loved ones. Including my own daughter. But it is for their own good. I must protect them from the truth, and my enemies. Even if it means doing unspeakable things, I will do everything in my power to help a pony in need. From saving a kitten stuck in a tree, to fighting off a giant robot from smashing down houses with my muffin cannon. And I can tell you this, muffins make the best missles and tasty after school snacks. It isn't an easy job, but it's worth it knowing that I have done something good in the end. When ever there is a pony crying for help, I'll be there; When a comet is heading towards earth and needs to be stopped, I'll be there; When there is a worm hole in space sucking up everything in it's way, I'll be there; When there i- "Ditzy!" Shouted a voice that woke me from my slumber. "Huh?! What?! Giant kittens smashing houses! Robots stuck in trees!" I shouted with a karate chop hitting my boss in the face. "Ow!" "Oh. Sorry Boxxy." I said blushing. "What in the hay were you thinking!?" "I must have dozed off. Sorry again Boxxy." "Look, just go take this package to Pinkie Pie. Ok?" he said handing me an oddly shapeded box. "Oh, umm... sure." I flew off with the package in my mouth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ugh! I had that dream again! I thought to myself. I gotta stop sleeping during work or I'm gonna get fired! I love working for the post office because I get to do good things. It may sound silly, but I like knowing that at the end of the day, I did something good; even if it is just delivering some mail. It makes me feel great. Like I just ate a plate full of fresh baked muffins with little green gummy worms in them. Ohhhhhh, those are the best. Little green gummy worms, it makes my mouth water just thinking about them! "Ditzy! Hey Ditzy!" Pinkie Pie shouted just coming out of Sugar Cube Corner. "Hey Pinkie Pie! I got your package!" "Really!? Oh that's soooooooooooooooo great! Come down!" Pinkie Pie lead me to her work space where she made her tasty treats. The place was covered with frosting and flour and other icky messy stuff. But I guess that was normal. I've kinda have had a second opion about Pinkie lately. At first, she would be so happy and bubbly, but now she just cramps herself in her work space doing Celestia knows what! But I don't really know Pinkie that well, so I just keep my concerns about her to myself. "So Pinkie, can I ask, if I may, what is in this package? I've never seen anything like it." "Oh, it's a special ingredent for a cupcake I'm making for Rainbow Dash." She told me with a somewhat evil voice. "What kind of ingredent?" "It's... umm... gummy worms... yeah that's it... gummy worms... I know how much YOU like them, so I'll make you one too." "Wow, thanks Pinkie! But, could you make it into a muffin?" "Yeah yeah whatever. Now get out. I gotta start baking." the party pony ordered, pushing me out the door. I started to say something, but the door closed before I could even utter a word. That was... odd... Oh well! I don't need to be worried! Besides, it's time for Dinky to get off school. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The rest of the night was normal. Me and Dinky ate muffins for dinner, argued with her to brush her teeth, watched a little bit of TV, then went to bed. Just normal stuff. Normal. I HATE normal. Normal is just another word for boring. And boring is something that I don't like to put up with! Sometimes, I wish that my life were more exciting. Maybe if I was a superhero like in my dreams, life would be more exciting. And maybe, I could be a better mother to Dinkie. I think she's embrassed of me. Ponies don't excually 'approve' of my googly eyes. But they were what I were born with. "Help! Oh help me! Won't somepony save me?!" A cry for help rang threw my ears. "I'll save you!" "The Derp! Thank Celestia your here!" The frightened pony called out as he was hanging onto a branch for dear life. The damm had broke again! And he was about to drown! I quickly swooped down faster then a speeding bullet to save him, almost breaking the fabrics of speed and sound as I did. Faster, feeling the wind in my mane, faster, tasting the air, faster, until... YOINK! I Grabbed him. I did it. I had saved a life of another pony. And not a momment to soon. The branch had just broke when I finally reached for his hoof. "Oh thank you Derp! Thank you!" He praised me. "No trouble at all." We landed in the middle of the town square where the whole town waited for us. "Derp! Derp! Derp! Derp!" The crowd shouted my name. "Derp! Derp! Derp! Derp! Mom! Mom! Mom!" "Huh?" "Mommy! Wake up!" Dinky jumped up and down on my tummy. "What? What happend?" I asked not knowing where I was. "Pinkie Pie came over today and left you this." Dinkie handed me a green muffin. "Oh my gummy worm muffin! How nice." Just then, a car horn beeped. "Oh, that must be your father. Have a good time Dinkiy." Dinkiy grabbed her suitcase and ran out the door to spend the weekend with her dad. "What an interessting looking muffin." I said to myself excaming the odd pastry. I've never seen a green glowing muffin before. But this was one of Pinkie's muffins. Anything could be possible when it comes to that crazy pony. I slowly took a bite out of the glowing muffin. It tasted... different then usual muffins. It tasted like... like... Everything went black after that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I leaned back in my hot tub with a cigar in my mouth and a glass of merlot in my hoof. I was living the good life alright. A mansion, 10,000,000 bits in the safe, all the wine I could ask for, a happy and healty daughter, and a perfect life. What more could a pony ask- "Miss Doo, the mayor called. She said it was... an emergency." "Oh, thank you Jackson." I answered the phone. "Hello, Mrs. Mayor?" "Derp, we have a problem." I knew all too well what that meant. "I'm on it." In ten seconds flat, I put on my super suit and flew out the door. "Miss. Doo... Miss Doo? Miss Doo!" "Ah uh what!?" "Oh good, your finally awake." "Wh- whe- where am I?" "Your in the hospital Miss. Doo. It was lucky that we got you here in time." The Nurse told me looking at a clipboard. I found my hoof attached to an IV. I'm really in the hospital. "Well what happend?" "You ate what appears to be a radioactive muffin. May I ask, why in Equestria would you eat something like that?" "I... I'm not sure." "Well, Dr. Whooves should be with you in a while." The nurse told me as she walked out the door. Well Ditzy, you've gotten yourself into one big mess. I guess it could be worse. I could have fallen out of the window again, walk into a door again, forget how to blink again, tell Dinkiy that sh- Dinky. I quickly threw the IV down and flew out the door. "Oh Dinky. Please be ok. Please be ok!" Flying past nurses and other ill ponies, all I could think of was Dinky. Does she know what happened? Is she still with her dad? I prayed that she was ok. I was so worried that I didn't even noticed that I was flying much faster than usual. I just kept thinking about my little girl. I zipped past nurse Red Heart and Dr. Whooves. "Oh my! Nurse Red Heart! Who was that?" "Thats Ditzy Doo Dr." She answered him picking up her papers. "Hmmm... Ditzy... Why does that name ring a bell?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh Dinky, please Celestia be ok." How could I have been so derpy!? Eating a glowing muffin. What was I thinking?! Oh Celestia, please let my baby be alright. I was so determined to get to her, I didn't care who got hurt in my way. I wasn't even sure who I was passing by really. In fact, how fast was I going? I finally reached her father's house in Manehatton. Not sure how I got there so fast. It usually takes hours to get from Ponyville to Manehatton. Huh... Anyway, I knew he kept the door locked, so I did something I thought I could never do; I broke it down. At least, I thought I did. "Dinky!" "Mommy?" "Ditzy?!" "Oh, Hello Travis." "... Your looking well... wait how did you get in my house?!" "Never mind that! I need to see Dinky!" "Dinky and I were having lunch you physco!" A cool breeze flew on the back of my neck. Didn't I close the door? I looked back to see that half of the house was missing. Did... did I do that? "Mommy, you broke daddy's house!" Dinky said in shock "I... I didn't... mean to... I'm sorry Travis." "Get out of my house!" He demanded. "I... I... Ohhh!" In anger and stupidy, I flew back to Ponyville. I didn't know my own stength! I can't even hold a two pound box in my mouth, let alone break off half a house. Come to think of it... how DID I do that? I stopped myself to think in mid air. If I can break off half of a house, then... what else can I do? "Look out!" A voice called out to me. CRASH Ow, what was that? "Oh my gosh, Ditzy! I'm so sorry! Do you need any help?" Rainbow Dash asked me. I rubbed my head still not sure what just happened. "Huh? Oh Rainbow Dash. Was that you who bumped into me?" I asked still rubbing my head. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Well, if you don't need any help, I guess I'll be on my wa-" "Wait!" She stopped. "Yes?" "I was wondering... if... you know... how did you do a sonic rainboom?" She looked at me dazed. "Well, Ditzy, it takes years and year of practice to truly master a sonice rainboom. But I just have to fly fast. It would probably take you... ummm... let's say eight to seventeen years to make one." She told in proud voice. "Oh yeah? I bet you I can do one in ten seconds flat." "Pfft, don't kid yourself. Like I said, it takes years and years or prac-" "Can't hear you! I'm too busy doing a sonic rainboom!" I shouted far away. Faster than a speeding bullet, I flew downwards hoping to make a sonic rainboom. Faster, faster, faster untill... BOOM It happened. A sonic rainboom. Well, not really a rainboom, more like a muffinboom. Severaly of them! The more I flew down, the more muffinbooms would... well... boom! This proved it. I really did have super powers. I was a superhero, like in my dreams. My life was going to change after that moment. I would use these powers to do good in my small town and anywhere else I am needed. I am, the Derp.
Chapter 2: The New Stare MasterIn the magical land of sweets and muffins, I lay on a soft fluffy bed of gooey marshmallow cream. Resting my eyes, and licking a muffin. "Ditzy, oh Ditzy Doo." A sweet voice whispered in my ear. I opened one eye to see who was calling my name, to see a giant muffin. "Mr. Muffin! I wasn't sleeping, I was just... resting." "Yeah, now get up! It's time for the party!" I sprung up from the icky bed of goe to get dressed up for the big party. I picked out a big, pink, poofy lace dress. Me and Mr. Muffin skipped gayly to the big party at Pudding Moutain. Seeing along the way, Count Cupcake, Baby Cookie, Prince Cake, and Princess Gummy Bear. We danced on the shiny dance floor, made of bouncy gum drops. "Oh Ditzy, I've never felt this way before about anyone. Will you marry me?" Mr. Muffin asked getting on one knee. "Oh Mr. Muffin, I would love to marry you. But... my heart belongs to... another." "Who?!" I woke up in my soft, plushy bed. "Oh Celestia, I gotta stop eating muffins before bed." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got out of bed, my mane tangled and my eyes googly as ever. I looked out my window to Celestia's beautiful morning sun. It was an amazing sight. Almost as amazing as a muffin. Mmmmm muffins. It reminded me of something that happened yesterday. A sonic muffinboom as I call them. I thought for a minute about if it really did happen or not. It almost felt too good to be possible. Maybe it was one of my dreams. Maybe I don't have any super powers. I ate my breakfast muffins and headed to work. When I got to the door, I could see nearly 50 ponies reading the news next door. The newpaper stand was right next to the post office. I went inside and saw Boxxy reading a newspaper. "Yo Ditzy, ya seen the paper this morning?" He asked not taking his eyes off the paper. "Boxxy, you know I don't read the paper. Too many words." I told him punching in my work card. "Well, somepony did a sonic rainboom the other day. And it wasn't Rainbow Dash." I knew what he was talking about. "Let me see that." I said as I took the newspaper from his hoof Local pegasus, Rainbow Dash, claims that she did not make the sonic rainboom that day. But somepony else did. Our local news team wanted the name, but she refused to tell us saying, "I don't recall the pony who did this so called, 'muffinboom' but I don't care. There's only one pony in Ponyville that can do something as awesome as a sonic rainboom. And that's me! Rainbow Danger Dash." Wow, so... it wasn't a dream. I did do a sonic muffinboom. I also saw and article about Pinkie Pie getting arrested for trying to poison Rainbow Dash and saw off her body in her basement, but that wasn't important! "So, ya know who that was Ditzy?" Boxxy asked. "I... um... not sure Boxxy. I- I gotta... put... make... unbox... ship... I just gotta do something!" I told him, not sure what I should have said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. Whooves did some detective work on his computer to find out who Ditzy Doo was and why it rang a bell. "D, i, t, z, confound these hooves!" He cursed at his hooves. The computer read, fresytw348 "I'm going to have to find a way to type... but how?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After work that day, I flew off to Manehatton to pick up Dinky. Maybe I don't have super powers. That sonic muffinboom could have been pure dumb luck! I'm going to have to find out what other powers I have, if I do have super powers. When I got to the house, it was still broken in half. Oh yeah, I did that too huh? That still doesn't prove anything. I flew in through the big hole and saw Dinky still asleep on the couch with her teddy bear while the TV was still on the Power Puff Girls. That was her faveourtie show. Still have no idea what they're suposed to be... oh well. "C'mon angel, let's go home." I told her as she still was sleeping. Her body was so soft and warm. She was a gift from Celestia herself alright. The doctor's told me that I wouldn't be able to give birth to a child. But 9 months later, she came into my life. Now she's the center of my life. She's gotten so big after those six years. She's so smart and hyper I can barley keep up with her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I waited for the traffic signal to turn green before crossing the street. I couldn't wait to get home. I haven't been with Dinky since I found out about the super powers. It took forever for that traffic signal to turn green. Usually I would just fly, but I didn't want to take the chance on doing a sonic muffinboom again. "Hey look, it's Retard and Retard Jr!" A small voice called behind me. I turned around to see Diamond Tiara and Sliver Spoon. Those mean girls from Dinky's school. "Oh hello Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. How are you?" "Oh were good Ms. Retard. How are you?" "... Excuse me?" "You heard us." They replied together. "I think you should appoligize." "Hmm... let me think about that? No." Diamond Tiara said giving me a razzberry afterwards. "Appoligize. Now." I said wiping away the spit from my face. "M- mommy?" "Well look whos up, Retard Jr." Silver Spoon said. "Hey! Nopony talks about my daughter that way!" I shouted getting right in there little bitch faces. "Oh yeah, well whos gonna stop us?" I knew I had to defend my daughter's honor. But how? Of course! One of my super powers! But which one? I only had the sonic muffinboom and the super strength. I could throw them to Canterlot, but then I'd go to jail. That wasn't going to work. What should I do?! "Retards! Retards! Retards! Retards!" They chanted pointing at my googly eyes. "That is ENOUGH!" I shouted at them, staring into there little eyes. I must have done something powerful because they stopped dead in there tracks. "Now you appoligize to me and Dinky." "... Were sorry Dinky... Mrs. Dinky's mom." They said in defeat. "Good." The light finally turned green. "Your lucky I'm not going to tell your parents." I walked off not looking back. "S- Silver Spoon. Why are there two of you?" "Two of me? Why are there two of you?!" "I... I can't see straight!" I looked back to see what was happening. When I looked back, I saw their eyes... goggly. They... they looked like me. Did... Did I do that? That must be my new power! Derp stare! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we got home, we ate muffins for dinner. "Hey... mommy?" Dinky asked eating her muffins. "Yes baby?" I asked back washing my plate at the sink. "That was really cool what you did with Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara." "Oh... you saw that." "Yeah... and it was awesome!" "It... it was?" I asked her wiping her face from the mufiin crumbs. "Yeah! It totally kicked flank!" "Dinky! Language!" "Sorry mommy." "It's ok. I'll it slide this time. Because it was pretty kick flank." We both laughed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Ditzy was asleep, I did some research on the computer to see what just what I should do with my powers. "Lets see... porn, porn, porn, porn, clop fiction, porn, porn, porn, here we go!" I clicked on a website filled with superhero comics. I read all of them before passing out on the keyboard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mommy? Mommy... MOMMY!" "Huh what?! Llamas dancing the hulu! The letter H swiming in pudding! What? Oh hey Dinky. Did I sleep on the keyboard?" "Mm-hmm." I looked at the clock to see what time it was. "Oh Celestia were gonna be late!" I quickly got my mailbag and a breakfast muffin for me and Dinky to eat on the way to school and work. "Did you do your homework?" I asked Dinky struggling to get her backpack packed. "Yes." "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yup." "Did you eat your muffin like a good girl?" "Uh huh." "Did you honk the clown nose?" "Ye- clown nose? What clown nose?" "Gotcha!" I said tapping her nose. "Oh mommy, your so silly." "C'mon c'mon! Let's go!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Have a good day at school muffin butt." I told Dinky giving her a kiss on the nose. "Have a good day at work mommy muffin." She said back. I waved to her good bye as she skipped to class. We always make up little names for each other before we say good bye. It's kinda our little special way of saying I love you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And I was like, BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOH THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MI-" "Uhh... Boxxy... what are you singing?" I asked him as I walked in the post office. "I... uh... I wasn't singing... I was... ah who am I kidding? I GOT BIEBER FEVER DITZY AND IT'S SOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING!" "Oooo... kkkk... I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that... So, what do I have to do today boss?" "Well, the only job left is the stamp licking." "Yes!" I exclaimed jumping into the air. I loooooooove licking the stamps. They taste sooooooo good. Along with the packing peanuts and the empty boxes, stampes are my most favourite thing in the whole post office! "Yo Ditzy, did ya see the paper today?" Boxxy asked handing me the paper. "Boxxy, for the second time, I don't read the paper." "Just look at it." "Fiiiiiiiiine." I grabbed the paper and began to read. 'Local fillies go Derp eyes.' "Wow, doesn't the media have anything else to write about?" "Eh not really. Oh and Pinkie Pie escaped from jail the other day. She'll probaly go on another killing spree." I didn't pay attention to anything Boxxy said. "Heh heh, oh Garfield. Your a cat and you like pony food. You can't eat pony food your a cat! Silly orange cat." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After work, I went to somewhere I thought I'd never go to. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Where everything is chic, unique, and magnifigue!" Rarity greeted me as the little bell that was above the door rang. "Um... Hi Rarity." I never really talked to Rarity before. So it was indeed awkward. "Oh hello Ditzy Doo, what can I get for you?" "I was... wondering... if you could... make me a superhero suit." "Whatever for darling? Nightmare Night isn't for 7 months!" "It isn't for Nightmare Night." "Aw, of course it isn't. Poor Ditzy." She said pating my head. "What are you doing?" "Why, I'm patting your head darling." "Oh Celestia... Look Rarity... Ditzy don't roll that way." "Aw listen to your cute little lisp." "Lisp?" I asked with no lisp in my voice at all. "Yes your lisp sweet heart. And I just want to say, I am soooo sorry about your illness." "Illness?! What in the name of Molestia's glowing horn are you talking about?!" "Aw Ditzy, you don't have to put on a brave face for me. I know that your... well... screwed up in the brain." Oh god she thinks I'm retarded. "Duuuuuurrrrrrrrr her her huuuuuuur, I jest I do haz a llllllisp." I said pretending to be what she thought I was just for laughs. "Oh, you poor poor darling. Here, I'll make your Nightmare Night coustume, no charge! It's just going to take a week to get it in." "Aww a week?! I don't have time for a... I mean... Duuuurrrrrrrrr... A week is equal to apple sauce." "Of course it is Ditzy. Of course it is." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. Whooves was still trying to figure out a way to type on the computer. "Hmm... let's see... I can travel through time but I can't figure out how to type." He said to himself, tapping a pencil against the table. "... Grrr! As Celestia as my witness, I shall find a way to type!" He said shouting at the pencil. "Oh look at me. Talking to a pencil!" He said to himself, taping the pencil on the keyboard. "If only I could find some way to type... but how?" He said still tapping the pencil on the keyboard. "Oh Celestia! If you can hear me! Please, send my a sign! A hint! Anything!" He shouted to the sky with still tapping the pencil. "Wait... hold onto your hooves... I am a genuis! I'll hire a typer for me! Thank you pencil!" He said to the pencil kissing it. He ran out the door to go find a typer for him. "Did somepony call my name?" Princess Celestia said as she flew the room. "Hmm... I wonder who that was calling my nam- oh sweet a computer! Time for some clop fiction!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sighed to myself coming out of Rarity's store. Why does everypony think I'm a retard? I don't think I'm that stupid. I mean, sometimes I'm not the brightest pony, maybe even a little bit derpy, but certainly not retarded. Well, maybe sometimes I do seem a little- BUMP "What the? Great Scout! I'm so sorry! Do... wait... aren't you Ditzy Doo?" "Huh? Yes I am why?" I asked rubbing my head. "I'm Dr. Whooves. I've been acually been trying to find you." "You... have?" I asked as he helped me up. "Yes. I saw you flying by the hospital. And I must say, it was very impressive." "Really?" I asked with a doopey smile and rosey cheeks. "Yes really. Can I ask how you did it?" Oh no... "I... I umm... gotta go!" I said, flying off at sonic speed. "Wow... what a mare!"
Chapter 3: A Date with a TimelordBefore we begin! I just wanted to let you know, this chapter was a PAIN IN THE FLANK! Specail thanks to GrimWolf and NightWing for the awesome ideas! Without them, this chapter would be crap. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next few days were normal at the most. Dinky and I watched a bunch of super hero movies like Spider Mare, Spider Mare 2: Return of the Green Parasprite, Bat Stallion, Wonder Mare, Super Stallion, and other poorly named movies copy writed by Snapple Jack Productions. Heh heh, I broke the fourth wall. And this sentence is blue. U mad bro? "Mommy, I'm sleepy." Dinky said with dropey eyes. "Aw baby. Go on to bed, I'll be in there in a second to tuck you in and read you a bed time story." She yawned before mummbling "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay." I watched her slowly stumble into her room. I sure do love that goofy filly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright silly filly, what'cha want me to read ya tonight?" I asked plopping down on the bed next to Dinky. "Let's see, there's The Princess and the Colt, The Monster in the Forest-" "Monster in the Forest! Monster in the Forest!" She exclaimed jumping up and down. "Ha ha, ok ok calm down!" She settled down, got her doll, and listened. As I cleared my throat, the phone began to ring. "Who could that be?" I asked myself, about to pick up the phone. "Hello?" "Ditzy? Umm... H- hey! How are you?" The pony asked in a nervous voice. "Oh, Dr. Whooves! I'm fine, just about to read Dinky a bed time story." "That's nice... Uh hey! I was just wondering... if umm... if you want to... go to this coustume party with me... I have an extra ticket... I mean if you want to! You don't have to of course! But-" "Sure, I'd love to go!" "I mean if you don't want to go with me that's f- really?!" "Yeah it sounds like fun." "Alright! So I'll... pick you up tomorrow at 8 then!" "It's a date." "Ok then! Be sure to wear a coustume." "Will do. Bye Dr." "Bye." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright Dinky, let's read this bad boy!" "Yay!" I opended the book to a colorful selection of pop up pictures. "Once apon a time, there was a little green monster named Fud. Fud lived in a tiny forest in the middle of no where with his parents Thud and Mud. Fud loved his pet dog but one day-" I looked over to see if Dinky was still paying attention but she was fast asleep. Smiling, I tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good night muffin." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day, I thought I might go see Rarity. Since the coustume ball was tonight, I might as well go as as a superhero. Ding the little bell rang as I entered the boutique. "Ditzy! How are you darling?" Rarity asked holding the suit in her hooves. "Hey Rarity. Just thought I might pick up my coustume." "Of course darling! Here you are." She said handing me to coustume. It was amazing! "Wow Rarity! It's amazing!" I said, marviling at the amazing stitch work. "Isn't it?" She asked also marviling at the coustume. Just then, a buzz rang in my ears. It was an irritating buzz, like there was a fly stuck in my head. I rubbed my head hoping that this was just an migrane but it didn't go away. "Ditzy, are you ok dear?" "Yeah, I'm fine. Hey do you have any migrane pills?" I asked still rubbing my head. "Of course I'll get you some." The concerned unicorn said heading towards the kitchen. The pain was killing me. The intense buzzing turned into stinging and then thumping that made me moan in utter pain. It seemed like forever until Rarity came back with two head ache pills and a glass of water. "Here you are darling." She handed me the item in her hooves. "Thanks." I took the pills but the pain didn't go away. The pain kept growing and growing until I felt like I was going to pop. I was on the edge of bursting out and screaming and kicking when I started to hear a small noise. It sounded like... a piano. "Hey Rarity... are you... playing music?" I asked still rubbing my head. "What was that?" She asked taking out her ear buds from her iPony. "What are you listening to?" "Beethoofen's piano solo. Why?" "Oh um... no reason." How can I hear what Rarity is listening to?! She has ear buds on! Unless... "I... I need to go." I said running out the door with the coustume on my back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As I flew above the clouds, I could hear the voices of the ponies down below saying, "Hello!" and "How are you?" The only explnation I could think of was super power. "Super hearing huh? Cool!" I told myself flying back home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Now Dinky, you be good for Granny Smith ok?" I told Dinky pointing to the sleeping elder. "Ok mommy." She said brushing her doll's mane. "Well, what do you think? Swanky huh?" I asked her, showing off my superhero outfit. "You look great mommy! Like a superhero!" I bent down and gave Dinky a kiss. "I love you muffin butt." "And I love you mommy muffin." Knock Knock Knock I opended the door to see Dr. Whooves in a fancy tux with flowers in his mouth. "Dr. Whooves? I thought we agreed to met each other at the ball." "Ih know bet..." He spit the flowers out of his mouth and began to talk propperly. "I know but I couldn't wait to see you. Wow... you look... cool..." He said trying his best not to use the word beautiful too quickly. "Really? Thanks. You look... what are you supose to be again?" I asked examing the odd get up for a coustume ball. Dr. Whooves wasn't suposed to be dressed as anypony. He just wanted to look nice for this extraordinary mare. "I'm um..." He had to think. "I know! Your Buck, James Buck." "Yes! That's it I'm that!" He said giving me the flowers. "Well what are we waiting for Mr. Buck? Let's go!" I shouted grabbing him by his hoof and dragging him out the door. "Bye mommy!" Dinky shouted from the door as she watched us run playfully. Dinky closed the door quietly and ran to go get her bedtime book. Dinky looked at the colorful pictures and imgained herself living with the monsters in her book. Wait... Dinky remembered that the monster lived in a forest... there's a forest in Ponyville... maybe the monster's lived there! Dinky had to know if they did. She grabbed her flashlight, her doll, and her raincoat and headed outside. She didn't worry about Granny Smith, she knew she would be asleep for the rest of the night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Me and Dr. Whooves walked together to the coustume ball. Dr. Whooves began to sweat. He wasn't sure what to say until they got there. "So... Ditzy... how's Dinky?" He asked walking close to me. "Dinky? She's ok. Hyper, but ok." I said giggling afterwards. "Do you love Dinky?" He asked feeling stupid for asking that. "Of course I love her. She's my whole world." "Oh yeah." He said facehoofing himself when I wasn't looking. "So, where is this ball anyway?" "Trust me. It's somewhere very special." My mind raced with thoughts. Maybe it was at the beach, or the post office, or maybe even in a shoe! "Here we are!" The timelord exclaimed opening the door for me. "This is it?" "Yup." "But... this is the hospital." "I know." "Wow... swanky." I said going into the dark building "Ain't it?" He said closing the door behind him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There were so many ponies at the dance. Some paitents, some doctors and nurses, and some who just came here to be here. I watched in amazement as the ponies socalized and danced. "Why are you so amazed? It's not that special." Dr. Whooves asked. "It's just that... I've never been to a party before." "Really?" The timelord asked in shock. "Nopony has ever invited me to one." I said trying to hide my face. "Well then, let's make your first party memorberable." He said handing me his hoof. I wasn't quite sure what he was doing. "Well, will you?" "Will I what?" I asked still puzzled. "Dance with me?" My eyes widened at that question. Nopony as ever asked me to dance with them before. My heart melted and tears of joy formed in my eyes. "O- okay." I said grabbing his hoof and trying to play it cool. He lead me to the dance floor as the music turned from 80's disco to 90's slow dancing music. I was nervous. I didn't know how to dance, but somehow, I felt like I could dance to the moon and back. "Do you know how to slow dance?" I shook my head. "Here. I'll teach you." He said placing his body against mine. He gentely guided my hooves behind his back. I wasn't sure what he was doing at first, but then it clicked in my head. I laid my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and let the timelord lead. As we danced, I could feel something in the pit of my tummy. I never felt this feeling before. Could this... be what they call 'love'? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dinky walked and walked until she reached the Everfree forest. It was dark and spooky but she knew she had to be brave like mommy. She turned on her flashlight and quietly walked into the forest. "Helloooo... Mr. Monster?" She asked as if anypony could hear her. She looked left and right to try to find the monster. "Mr. Monster? He-" BUMP Dinky bumped into some sort of icky, green fork in the road. She poked it to try to find out what it was. It grumbled as she did. "A monster! I found it! I found it! I found it! I found-" She countiuned to scream 'I found it' until the monster looked over to see what was causing all the noise. "I found it! I found it! I f-" RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR The monster rawred right into Dinky's face. "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" She screamed running away from the scary goe monster. It rawred as it chased after the frightend filly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ditzy, you dance beauitfly." Dr. Whooves said as we broke free from our dancing postion. "Thanks." He took his hoof to my chin. We both stared deeply into our love struck eyes. Dr. Whooves hesitated for a while until he finally puckered his lips. I knew what he was doing and puckered mine as well. Our lips were just about to met until, Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! "Dinky?" I asked myself. "What about Dinky?" Dr. Whooves asked in concern. "I gotta go!" I shouted, flying out the door at sonic speed. Dr. Whooves hung his head in sadness. "This was fun. We should do it again." I said running back to him giving the timelord a peck on the cheek. His body stifened with thumping hearts for eyes. I had no time to try to figure out what had happened to his body, my daughter was calling me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Dinky called out still running from the monster, leading it to Ponyville. The ponies of Ponyville watched in horror as the monster destroyed the town. Flying above the night sky, I scanned Ponyville to try to find Dinky. "Huh?" I stopped myself in mid-air, watching the green goop monster destroy the town. Quickly, I swooped down to get a closer look. Terrifed ponies bumped into me when I landed on the ground. I was still worried about Dinky, but right now I foucused my attention on the green beast. I flew towards the monster and knew what I had to do. Without questions, I used my Derp Stare to calm the beast down. The green goop monster started to get derpy and stumbled dizzly. If he fell, he could crush an innocent pony's house! Swiftly, I flew under the monster, grabbed some nearby rope, and began to tie his feet down. This only made it worse because he began to hop furriously, causing an earthquake. I had to put a stop to this! Before the monster could fall over, I used my super strengh to pick the over grown pile of goe. I could barely keep ahold of him. He was slipping from my hooves. I had to do what I was about to do quick. With my eyes closed, I began to twirl around in the air. I kept twirling and twirling until the monster slipped through my hooves and flew towards the Everfree forest. "And stay out!" The crowd shouted with joy as I flew back to the ground. It was just like in my dreams! "Thank you for saving our fair town masked hero!" The mayor said walking up to me. I didn't reply with words but with a simple nod. "I dub this masked hero..." She waited for me to tell her who I was. I whispered it in her ear. "The Derp!" The crowd grew louder and louder as they chanted 'The Derp!' This was just like in my dreams. Only, better.
Chapter 4: A Friend or Foe?"That should have been me... That should have been me!" Rainbow Dash screamed outloud, knocking over a table at the thought of last night. "I should have been the one to save them! Not that joke of a hero! I'm the hero! Me!" "Oh um... Rainbow Dash... if I could um... just say something... I um..." "I'm the one who saved a baby from falling down a hill!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed smashing her hoof on a Fluttershy's favorite coffee table. "I umm... I know your mad and everything but maybe if we-" "Quite for a second Fluttershy! I'm thinking." Rainbow shouted drawing plans on a dry erase board. "Where did you get that board anyw-" "I got it!" Rainbow Dash shouted from the air with a light bulb over her head. "If I can't be a superhero... I'll be a supervillan!" "But maybe if we-" "And you can be my side kick!" Rainbow Dash said to the shaking pegasus, hiding under her couch from all the yelling. "S-s-s-s- sidekick? That sounds-" "Awesome? Radical? Super extreme awesome amazing?!" "Scary... like... dragon scary." Fluttershy said, jumping up from fear at the word 'dragon'. "Oh for Pete sake Fluttershy! Don't be such a scaredy pony!" Rainbow Dash said, snatching up the frightened pony from her couch chamber. "But... but..." Fluttershy tried to speak up but it was too late. Rainbow Dash had already flown out the door with her in hoof. Fluttershy squealed in fear, having no idea where the hay they were going. The blue pegasus looked from side to side as she and her frightened friend flew past ponies, trying to find what everit was she was trying to find. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Quil." "Check!" "Partachment." "Check!" "Extra ink." "Check!" "Extra extra ink." "Uh... check." "Perfect! We have everything we need to write a letter to Princess Celestia!" Twilight Sparkle shouted with joy to her assitenet, Spike. "Ready to write?" "Ready!" Spike said determinded. "Dear Princess Celes-" "Look out!" A blur of blue and yellow shouted heading toward Twilight's opended window. THUD! The bookself filled with books and important doucments fell to the floor all at once. Twilight poped her head out of the pile with a book on her head. "Ugggh... Huh? Rainbow Dash! Look what you did! I just arranged those books from oldest to newest! Now I have to do it all over again!" Twilight shouted with fire in her eyes. The dazed pegasus poped her head from the pile of books. "It's not my fault! You should keep these things in a box or something so they won't fall out!" Rainbow shouted pushing the books off her body. Fluttershy didn't want to be part of the arugment, so she just kept quiet under the cluster of books. Spike was already out of the pile, trying to put the books back up to where the belonged. "Well... it doesn't matter. So, what are you doing here anyway?" Twilight asked using her magic to pull her struggling pegasus friend out of the cluster of books. "I need super powers!" Twilight was surprised at what her friend just asked. Why on earth would she need something as silly as super powers? "Rainbow, I can't give you super powers. In fact, why would you even need them?" Twilight asked, trying to constrate on reselfing the fallen books. "I need to out shine the Derp!" "The who?" Twilight asked in confusion "The Derp! Didn't you see her last night?" Rainbow asked, not helping Twilight clean up the mess. "No. I was asleep." "You were asleep at 6:30? That's a little early even for you." "I know, but Pinkie Pie came over and offered me a cupcake. I ate it and everything else kinda went black." Rainbow looked confused at Twilight. "Anyway, I can't give you any powers. It's not possible. Super powers aren't real." Twilight told her friend, still reselfing the books. "C'mooooooooooooooooooooon!" Rainbow Dash whined as if she were Rarity. "Sorry. It just can't be done. Besides, your already the fastest and strongest pony I know." Twilight told her friend still using her magic to pick up the books. "Yeah... I am... I am! Come on Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash said heading out the door. The rainbow pegasus waited. "Fluttershy?" Rainbow waited for a reply. Fluttershy didn't answer. Rainbow Dash dove back into the book pile to find Fluttershy. Rainbow grabbed the yellow pegasus from her book fortress she had made. Fluttershy didn't even notice. She was too caught up in this book titled, 100 Different Ways to Control Your Friends. Rainbow saw the book and gave her friend a stern stare. Fluttershy looked up from her book and squealed in fear at Rainbow's mad face. She dropped the book and blushed. Rainbow rolled her eyes back in her head and flew out the door with Fluttershy on her back. The door slammed which made Twilight lose her foucus. Her lavender colored magic instanlty died down, causing the books to once again, fall down all at once. Twilight grunted before angrily picking up the books once again and placing them back where the belonged. "So Twilight, is it really impossible to use your magic to give somepony powers?" Spike asked, helping Twilight with the books. "Of course not Spike. I just said that because I know Rainbow Dash would abuse them if I actually gave her super powers. Although... having powers does sound like... fun..." "No. Twilight, your joking!" "I am kidding Spike! You didn't think I would actually give myself powers did you?" Twilight asked jokingly as she rubbed Spike's head. "Heh heh no. I guess not. Hey Twi, is it ok if I go by Rarity's for a bit?" "Sure Spike. Have fun!" Twilight waved as Spike ran out the door with hearts for eyes. She watched her dragon friend run straight to Carousel Boutique to make sure the coast was clear. She then closed the blinds, locked the door, and ran toward her beloved bookself to make sure her spellbook had a spell for super powers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AUTHOR'S NOTE I know this chapter was way too short! But I'll make it up to you guys. I promise. Sorry again
