Quest for the Holy Jackpot

by SpectralUnicorn

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Rarity
Length: 1754

It's a Saturday afternoon, with nothing to do. Rarity has a trip to Las Pegasus she's been planning for months, but she doesn't want to go alone. Rainbow Dash is looking to go on a road trip of debauchery with a friend, but she doesn't know where, and almost none of her friends are available. Almost. Now with the trip ready to launch, Rainbow and Rarity prepare for a weekend of bright lights, roulette tables, and winning the legendary Holy Jackpot. Except now, they also have to pay off a peeved mechanic they accidentally stick with a hefty fine. Will the deranged, dastardly duo come out of Las Pegasus as prosperous ponies, or will their other friends end up having to take a road trip themselves just to bail the two out of a Las Pegasus prison?

Published 2012-11-06 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-06 03:30:01 UTC

Arrangements

It was a busy Saturday afternoon in the small, modest town of Ponyville. The sun was bright, but there were too many ponies with too much to do, which was atypical for such a quiet town.

For example, Twilight Sparkle was planning out a book fair with Spike that she always wanted to throw. Applejack has another harvest season coming up, as there always was. Fluttershy had to contend with treating a particularly rabid wolf, the poor thing. And Pinkie Pie was... staring down earthworms... huh.

"This sucks," a cyan pegasus commented, looking down from her cloud on the unusually busy town, lamenting how her friends are all unusually busy this weekend. "The one weekend in a long time I'm not sleeping through for Weather Patrol, and everypony chooses to be busy during it! Waaiit..."

The winged mare, named Rainbow Dash, dragged her gaze over to Carousel Boutique, a tailor boutique/home that' owned and inhabited by one of her friends, whom was just exiting the house that moment. Her friend was a white-coated unicorn with a curled, purple mane. She looked forlorn. Rainbow Dash leveled herself down to her friend. "You look glum, Rarity. What's wrong?"

Rarity looked back at her and smiled at Rainbow Dashs' consideration. "Nothing, darling," she explained. "I'm merely looking for somepony to accompany me on my trip of leisure."

"Really? Where are you going?" Rainbow inquired.

"Why, to fabulous Las Pegasus, of course!" Rarity exclaimed, with a little flair, as usual.

"No way, the Las Pegasus? Gambling capital of Equestria?"

"The very same."

Rainbow Dashs' smile engulfed her face. She had always wanted to play with the spinning tables, that she now knows are called roulettes. She wanted to know the rush of watching the slot machines give off their results. If only her parents would let her have some of the fun they had. Now that she was a full-grown mare, and no longer an impressionable filly, she saw a chance to go to her dream land that wasn't being a part of the Wonderbolts. "And you were actually going to Las Pegasus without anypony?"

"Well, I was checking if any of the girls was free, and-"

"Lemmie guess, everypony's busy, right?"

"Why yes! You've been asking the others as well?"

"Yeah," the pegasus replied, with slight indignation, "but Twilight has a book fair, Applejack's bucking apples, Fluttershy's curing a wolf of its rabies, and Pinkie's having a stare down with earthworms."

"Indeed! Earthworms and rabid wolves; how grotesque!" The two mares shared a hearty laugh. Rarity then sighed. "Very well, Rainbow Dash. Join me on a trip to the land of milk and honey, and the Holy Jackpot."

"We're really gonna try for the Holy Jackpot?!" the vibrantly-colored pegasus needed somepony to slap her, just to make sure this wasn't a dream.

"But of course!" Rarity responded, matter-of-factly. "It's choosing the game we have to worry about, and not even that. I don't wish to brag, but I am quite an accomplished gamer in Baccarat Chemin de Fer."

"Alright!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Let's fly to Las Pegasus!"

"But I can't fly, Rainbow Dash."

"Oh, right..." Rainbow Dash looked away in embarrassment, deciding to quickly change the subject. "Um, let's take this thing Jenny the Hotrod built."

"This... thing?" Rarity had a bad feeling Rainbow Dash wanted her to be a part of some strange, painful experiment.

"Well, she calls it a 'car.' Whatever it is, race ya!" And with that, Rainbow Dash blasted off down the street.

"Hey, wait!" Rarity yelled, galloping in an attempt to keep up. "Where are we even going?"

"To Las Pegasus, duh."

When Rarity miraculously caught up with her speedy pegasus friend, she found herself in a dark, rusty room with plenty of tables with pieces of metal on all of them. In the center was a magenta earth pony wearing goggles, with lime pigtails and a wrench for a cutie mark, in front of the thing Rainbow Dash called a 'car.' Rarity knew this was the 'car,' because she had just walked in on Rainbow chatting with(apparently) Jenny the Hotrod, frowning the whole time. "...and so me and Rarity'd like to test this thing out, ya know?" Rainbow gestured a forehoof at Rarity when she said her name. "See what works and what doesn't?"

"Ah d-d-don't know," Jenny stuttered nervously with a Southern accent, her brow furrowed under her goggles. "This is a prototype, y-ya know. It probably won't work, and ya usually j-just ignore me, n' get mad at me when it, pr-predictably, doesn't wor-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it all before, Jen. Hey Rarity," the excitable pegasus ushered her fashionista friend into the strange, metallic thing, "join me in creating history as the first two mares drive this bulky thing to Las Pegasus!"

"I'm rather uneasy about this, Rainbow Dash." Rarity politely refused. "Jenny did say that this will probably fail. And she did say that you're often unreasonably irate at her when her prototypes predictably don't work as they should."

"Rarity," Rainbow replied, exasperated, "Are we going to Las Pegasus or not?!" She gestured Rarity to get in the passenger seat.

Rarity sighed, and looked at the ceiling with a resigned look on her face. "Very well, Rainbow Dash." She climbed into the passenger seat, impressed by the quality seats. "My!" she exclaimed. "What exquisite, um..." she went uneasy. "...leather..."

"Yeah," Jenny remarked, slightly embarrassed to have to say it. "Mah father worked on a farm, specializin' with the cattle." She looked away uneasily.

Rarity finally let out a squeamish "Oh," and squirmed slightly in her seat. She was not a fan of leather, finding the cows on Sweet Apple Acres good conversationalists when there was nopony around and she was stuck on the farm. Rarity usually preferred a synthetic material so Fluttershy isn't rendered unconscious, and she has her friends' business. Rainbow Dash merely frowned, but for the same reasons. After the tense silence, Rarity interjected. "Shall we test this, er, car?"

"Certainly." Jenny said, taking off her goggles to reveal two gray eyes. "J-just turn the key on the side of the steerin' wheel."

"Yeah, sure thing, Jen." Rainbow Dash twisted the key around, and the engine roared in response. She and Rarity screamed, Rarity also cowering.

"Heh, that's the engine!" Jenny explained, not sounding nervous for once. "Don't worry, it don't baht!"

Well," Rainbow asked, "i-is it on?"

"Sure is, Rainbow! Just push on the right pedal fer movin, and the left one fer breakin'. Stick's fer gettin' it to go forward, backward, parked, 'r loose."

"Heh. Yeah, okay." Rainbow Dash quickly got the hang of accelerating the car, moving it out of the garage. "Hey Jenny," the cyan pegasus yelled, "this car's pretty cool!" She pushed her foreleg up in approval, but she accidentally ripped off the joystick in the process, since her hoof was still around it. Both her pupils and Raritys' shrunk in horror at the stick.

As the car rolled down the street into the commercial center of town, the mares were trying to push the stick back in, each yelling directions at each other. Jenny galloped after them, saying "Not good" over and over. A couple got knocked over on the cars' way to center square. Soon, the car hit a tree and blew up, leaving two soot covered ponies lying on the ground hear the rubble that everypony was looking at. When Jenny finally got to the wreckage, Rainbow Dash snapped at her. "Hey Jenny! This 'car' needs work!"

Jenny struggled to control her fury. "It's a prototype!"

"Ya know," Rarity butt in, looking to diffuse the tension, "We could just take a train to Las Pegasus."

"What?" Rainbow responded, "and ruin plo-OW!" Just then, a piece of rubble fell on the rainbow-maned pegasus. That wasn't enough, though, because a white earth pony cop from the PPD was trotting towards the rubble.

"Trouble with your machines, I see, Jenny?" the officer remarked.

"Um, my friend was b-being reckless with it." the magenta mare responded.

The officer just signed. "Whatever. Just pay $500000 in reparations, ma'am." After scrawling a ticket for her, the officer trotted off. Jenny glared hard at the rainbow crash. She was seething at her 'friend.'

"What." Rainbow still saw a seething mare in front of her. "What? Okay, I'm sorry, there." Her glare twisted into a snarl.

"Ah ain't taking this from you no more, Dash!" she yelled! "Ah'm goin' right up to court n' gettin' yer flank thrown in juvie where it belongs!"

"Aw, c'mon! I said I was so-"

"Um Rainbow Dash, do stop talking for a moment." Rarity approached the angry mechanic, softening her voice to a diplomatic tone. "Dearest Jenny. We are quite contrite for your undeserved fine, and are prepared to pay you every bit for compensation."

Her snarl subsided, considering the options. "Really?"

"Oh, but of course!" Rarity agreed. "We were just going to try our hooves at the Holy Jackpot in Canterlot, which should be more than enough."

"Huh." Jenny tried to sound unimpressed, but Rarity wasn't fooled. "'Kay, but if you can't get that $500000 to me, Rainbow Smash over there has to pay off mah debt with a lot of work 'round the garage. And mah folks' farm a couple towns over, and her wings've gotta be fastened together somethin' fierce! An' Ah'll have a paper sayin' Ah can do that!"

"Agreed." They both shook hooves. The pegasus looked on, aghast that her road trip buddy was gambling with her life so easily.

As Jenny walked away with much less weight on her shoulders, Rainbow Dash went over to Rarity to talk to her. "Um, Rarity? Why did you let her walk away with a document saying she'd have me do her dirty work if we couldn't come up with the money?!"

"Well," Rarity said, uncomfortably, "She didn't look very flexible at the moment, and she looked a little thirsty for your blood. I might have actually saved your life. Besides, you are at the World Baccarat Chemin de Fer champion."

Rainbow was skeptical. "Fine, but you'd better know what you're doing!"

"Relax, friend. This is a leisure trip, after all. No quests of self-discovery, no random collages of events come to ruin our excursion, no surprise chngeling attacks, and absolutely no prison." Rainbow was still eyeing her purple-maned friend suspiciously, but she finally signed in resignation.

"Alright, Rarity." Dash said. "I believe in you. You've got this. Now let's catch that train to Las Pegasus!"