The Clothing Situation

I awoke to the feeling of sunbeams creeping across my face. "Can somebody close the blinds, please? I don't want to get up yet," I said, sleepily.

"Sorry, sleepy. You have to go see Rarity today, remember?" Tavi said.

"Crap, you're right. I don't suppose you have coffee here, do you?"

"Morning, Mike. As a matter of fact, we do. Would you like a cup?" Vinyl asked as she walked in the room.

"Yes, please."

She levitated a hot, steamy cup of joe over to the table that was near the bed I was on. It was hot, refreshing, and black: just the way I like it. "This is beautiful, Vinyl. Thank you. I don't suppose one of you could walk me to Carousel Boutique? Sorry, I don't know the way," I said, regretfully.

"I'll take you, Mike. I need to pick up something there anyways," said Tavi.

"OK. Let's go. I'd like to get out of these rags," I said, looking at myself in the mirror.

"I can see why. You look like crap. No offense."

"None taken."

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When we got there, Rarity was nowhere to be seen. All that was there, apart from all the clothes and mannequins, was a cat. A white cat with anger issues. I tried to pick it up, but it clawed at me with ferocity. "Well, if you're gonna be like that. Where's Rarity?" I asked Tavi.

"I don't know where she could be. Rarity? Rarity, are you here?" she called out.

We heard thumping, a couple grunts, and saw a little white unicorn pop out from a stairwell. "Hi there. I'm Sweetie Belle. My sister will be down soon," she said.

After a few minutes, Rarity came downstairs, her mane all nice and pretty. "Why, hello, Mike, Octavia. I assume you're here to pick up your package, Octavia?" she asked in her swarthy British accent.

"Why, yes. Yes, I am. Let me just grab that, and I'll be out of your hair," Tavi said, in her equally swarthy accent.

"It's right over here. Let me just grab that for you," she said, turning around and coming back with a small box with a label on the top that said "Octavia's Package" on the lid. "Hope these turn your relationship around, Octavia."

"Thank you, Rarity. Can you show him the way home when you're done with him? He still doesn't know the way home."

"Will do. See you later, Octavia. Tell me how it goes with Vinyl."

"Will do. See you later, Mike, Rarity."

"Bye," we said at the same time as Octavia walked out of the door.

"Do I want to know what was in there?" I asked as the door shut behind her, and all that was left was me, Rarity, and that stupid cat who was sitting on the floor, clawing at my clothes.

"Maybe. Opalescence, be nice to our guest. Mike, say hello to Opalescence," she said, picking it up, and sticking the little white demon out towards me.

"Hello, Opalescence. How is my favorite little fu-"

The cat swiped at me with claws at full extension. Those tiny, little, razor-sharp claws scratched me across the eye, leaving three claw marks that looked like Wolverine's signature 3-claw scratch.

"UUUUUUCK! That frikin' hurt! What the hell, Opalescence?" I screamed.

"Oh, Opalescence. Go to your bed and think about what you've done," Rarity demanded. Opalescence walked up the stairs, scoffed at me, and shut the door. Right before the door closed, I flipped it off. "Oh, are you OK, Mike? I think I have some gauze in my bathroom. Let me go get it for you," she said, going behind a cupboard full of cloth.

The pain was so intense that I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming, seeing that I was bleeding all over Rarity's Boutique's carpet. "Hey, Rarity. Can your magic clean blood spills out of carpet?" I asked.

"WHAT?!?! Blood spills? She got you that bad? Oh, you poor darling. Let me see," she said, trotting over to me from behind the cupboard with a roll of gauze in her magic.

She walked me over to one of her mirrors to assess the damage. "Damn!" I said, chuckling. "She got me good. Can you fix it?"

"I'll try my best, but I've no experience in healing magic. You'd have to see Nurse Redheart about that. Maybe you should go see her after I get you out of those repulsive things and into something even Fancy Pants would be jealous of!" she said, clapping her hooves together in obvious enthusiasm.

"Yeah, about that. Do you know if any of your magic is going to have a side effect on me?"

"Actually, Nurse Redheart is an earthpony. She can't use magic, darling. You'll be fine."

"No, I meant your magic."

"Oh. I honestly couldn't say. Maybe you should ask Twilight about it when it's her turn. Anyways, on to the clothing situation."

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"How do you feel? Because you look simply divine, Mike," she said, backing away to let the full magnificence of her newest creation really sink in.

"I can't frikin' breathe," I gasped, looking like a multi-colored mannequin, it was so tight.

"Oh, my. How about a tux? Would that work?"

"A little formal, don't you think? I'm going to see my new friends, not go to a wedding," I said, teasingly.

She laughed a little at that. "OK, OK, I see your point. I'll see what I can do."

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She came out of her room that she went into about 10 minutes ago to make me just a nice shirt and pair of pants. She did amazingly well for her first time making clothes for a human. "Will these do?" she asked, putting me into them.

"Actually, yes. These will do just fine. Thank you, Miss Rarity," I said in my mock British accent, bowing and walking towards the door when, suddenly, a wall of blue magic stopped me in my path. "Rarity, what's the deal with the force field?"

"I just wanted to know how those are. I mean, how they feel. So, that, if you ever need new clothes, I can make adjustments," she said, unconvincingly.

I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, but I can tell when someone's lying. "Rarity. What's the real reason you stopped me? You don't need to hide things you wanna talk about from me. We're friends. What's the matter?"

"Well, there is this one thing. Promise me we'll still be friends and you won't be utterly disgusted when I tell you this," she said, a little shadily.

"I promise."

"Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye?"

"Is that the equivalent of 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye'?"

"Is it?"

After thinking about it for a bit, I came to the conclusion that it was the same thing. "Yeah, I guess it kinda is. What is it you wanted to tell me?"

After a deep breath, she said, "IkindahavehadalittlebitofacrushonyousinceyouarrivedinEquestriaandIwaswonderingifyoulikedmethesameway."

"OK. Well, first, you need to slow down, and you need to use your words. Now, say what you said slowly."

"I kinda have had a little bit of a crush on you since you arrived in Equestria, and I was wondering if you liked me the same way," she said, visibly forcing herself to say these words.

I was a little taken aback at the words. "Um... I don't know if I understand. You've got a crush on me after meeting me yesterday?"

"Yes. I know it's all really, very sudden," she said, trotting closer until her face was right next to mine, "but hopefully, this will clear things up."

Knowing what was about to happen, I accepted my fate as she kissed me. Her tongue was fighting for dominance, as was mine. Despite being so small, she was really pushing against me hard. She tasted like blueberries, oddly enough. My head hit the wall several times before we were done.

"Wow. That was interesting," I said, wondering what the hell just happened.

"Wasn't it just? Now, let's get this place tidied up in case someone comes in," she said, surveying the mess we had made.

"Oh, shit. We made a huge mess."

"You just now noticed?"

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After about 2 hours, I went to Rarity's room and knocked. "Hello?" I asked, pushing the door open slightly. "I'm done with the rest of the mess."

"Oh, good, good. Just give me a second to freshen up, and we can go," she said.

"Are you sure you need to freshen up? You already look beautiful."

"Oh, you flirt." She came out, sparkling.

"What the hell? You gotta loan me some of those sparkles, Rarity."

"I'll try," she said, laughing.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, how did these feelings for me come to be?"

"Um... well..."

"Is something wrong?"

"It's a little embarrassing."

"Oh, come on. If you can't tell your new lover something like this, you can't tell anybody."

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds all bad. I guess I could tell you. You might want to sit down, this might take a while."

"Mkay," I said, doing as I was commanded.

"All right, let's get this over with."

"It's that embarrassing?"

"I guess. It all started when we were walking home from the club last night. I was walking to the Boutique after last night, but the other 5 caught up with me, and we started talking about you. Twilight was talking about all the things she could learn from you, Applejack was commenting how strong your legs looked, Fluttershy was wondering how gentle you were and how well you are with animals, Rainbow Dash was boasting about how even though you came from another world, you still couldn't possibly be more awesome than her, and Pinkie was wondering how hard you party and how well you react to surprises. I, however, was thinking about how to help mend your clothes, and then my mind wandered towards your muscles, considering most of your clothes were gone. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about them. When I finally got back to the Boutique, I was surprised at myself, for I had discovered that I had a crush on you. That's how these feelings came to be. I'm pretty sure the other 5 have a crush on you, too. I don't know. You'd have to ask them about it."

"OK. I guess I'll do that. Thanks, again, for the clothes, Rarity. Can you take me to Nurse Redheart's? I should get these checked out," I said, pointing to my scars.

"Yes, I guess I can. Let's go."

"Goodbye, Opalescence," I said, turning around. "Work on your damn anger problems. We're gonna be spending a lot more time together."

The look on the little fucker's face was priceless.