Hit to the head of the universe

Hit to the head of the universe

Written by LOLSTERDarkMoon

Crazy level: Wait, what?

Meet Todd, a simple boy living his life at high school while hanging with friends. His routine would consist of getting up in the morning, staring at the ceiling for half an hour, getting out of bed, getting dressed, and having something to eat before heading out the door.

Today was the same as always, wake up, stare, dressed, eat, walk out front door. His family was usually gone by the time he woke so he never had to talk much at home. School was in walking distance of Todd’s house and he took that fifteen minute walk as his everyday exercise, so he didn’t have to do more lately.

Having no one to talk to at home made getting out the house much quicker, and got him to school before everyone else. Todd would just sit outside of the first class he had that morning, and wait while checking out what his favourite people on YouTube have been up to. This wouldn’t last long before his friends started to show up. This first was almost always Arthur.

“Morning Tod,” He Arthur said, dumping his bad next to him. “Watching more YouTube I see.” Todd just gave a nod while keeping an eye on the video. “So, how is your brony fanfiction you’ve been going on about?”

As much as Tod hated to admit it, he loved to write, and somehow ended some sharing that same affection for a show about talking ponies. So with the idea there he wrote about whatever came to mind. Todd had tried to get his friends to read it but most weren’t bronies or had better things to do.

Todd paused the video and looked up. “Why do you even care?” Todd answered.  “You’re not a brony, so why do you want to know?”

Arthur gave the same smirk every morning Todd asked.

He also gave the same answer. “Oh you know, so I can go through it and mock you about all your horrible grammar and spelling!”

He chuckled to himself, always at the ever old conversation that happened every morning.

Todd just rolled his eyes and went back to the video. In the time it finished, most everyone else was there, and the teacher came as if on cue to open the classroom. The students pilled in and took random seats like it was every day. The notices were read out, and we were sent to our first real class. It being Monday, that was P.E.

Todd joined his close friend Eli as they made their way to the gym. “So, what do you think we are going to do today?” asked Todd. “Five bucks says its basketball again.”

He gave a smirk, hoping Eli would take the bait.

“Todd, it’s always basketball; and you don’t even have five dollars.” Eli said simply not even looking at Todd.

Todd tried again to seize the moment. “Well it’s that or you read my story. So which will it be?”

Eli rolled his eyes, trying to make sure Todd didn’t notice but failed.

“I will read it when I have the time. You know I don’t have internet at my mum’s.” said Eli.

“Yea, I know that. But you said you were at your dad’s this week. Come on, please?” Todd grabbed onto Eli’s arm and got down low. “You know you want to.”

He tried his best puppy dog eyes and sad face.

Eli sighed annoyingly. “That’s not cute or sad. It’s just ugly. Now piss off, you’re hurting my arm.”

Todd let go of Eli’s arm, but only for the sake of Eli’s already demising sanity thanks to Todd and ponies.

They arrived at the gym, sorting into the teams that were written on the whiteboard. Once everyone was ready, the gym teacher came out with a big full of basketballs.

The gym teacher was in his usually flat mood, not showing whether he cared or not, and dumped the bag in front of the class. “Right, grab a ball each and practice shooting hoops. I’ll call you back in ten minutes.”

After a big rush for the ball sake, everyone split off towards a different hoop with three or more other people. Todd was with some guys he was friendly with in class, but quite friends yet. They spent a few minutes failing to get any balls into the hoop and instead spent a long time chasing the rolling ones.

Todd had failed to score yet again, but came close. The ball was bouncing around beneath the ever avoiding hoop, and since no one had yet to score, Todd figured it was safe to retrieve it.

Once he had the ball safely back under his control, he dribbled back to a good distance to shoot from. On the way back however, he was struck right on top of his head. Tod turned to see the basketball responsible fly through the air, and landed in the hoop, followed by cheering.

“Wow, it got in!” said a happy classmate. “Hey guys, I bet if we all hit Todd with the balls, those will go in too!”

Almost all my fellow friends and classmates looked towards him with an evil grin.

Todd did not approve. “I swear, if you assholes hit me with a single fucking-”

That was as far as he got before he was swarmed with about 24 different balls from everywhere.

None of the balls made it anywhere near the hoop, most of the class groaned with sadness. Eli, however, had yet to throw his. “Don’t worry guys; I’ll get it in no probs.”

Before Todd had a chance to complain, his vision was filled with orange, then blackness.

A few hours later, Todd came to in the nurse’s office; lay out on the bed. His head a torrent of pain and confusion, but that was always there so he was otherwise fine. The nurse came in from her coffee break and sat in her office chair. She was about forty and had been at this school for a long time. A myth was that she used to be so beautiful that students would beat each other up just to go see her.

Those myths were long gone however. Age was a merciless enemy against all young perverts. The nurse looked over at her computer screen and sighed.

“About time you woke kid, schools almost over in less than an hour. You can go home now, but don’t bother showing up tomorrow, your brain won’t need any more punishment for a while. Now get out of my office.”

So she wasn’t the nicest nurse in the world, she was still damn good at her job and that’s what kept her there. Todd picked up his things and left before she had a reason to kick him out. The day was still showing off its brightness outside, so Todd had no reason to head home in a hurry.

He wandered the streets for a good half hour, then got bored and turned for home. He arrived home and unlocked the door, just wanting to crash on his bed and surf the internet for the rest of the day. Todd raced up the stairs and opened his bedroom, eager to forget the world.

Once he walked in and had a good look around, he stopped. Something wasn’t right, it could be the clean washing he still hadn’t put away, but that was always there. Maybe his phone was beeping as usual; no, he had charged it this morning to solve that. Maybe it was that horse shaped heap of purple on his bed reading a book he had never seen. Yes, that sounded right.

Wait, he knew something about lavender heaps shaped like horses. Looking closer he saw he was correct, it had a horn. It also came with large purple feminine eyes, and a large forehead; and it was too small for a horse. It was a lavender, female, unicorn. Tod only knew of one of those, and it was called Twilight Sparkle.

Todd stared for a good ten minutes, not even blinking once in case she disappeared. There was Twilight Sparkle, sitting on his bed, reading. His mind was stuck on a broken record, playing the same message: ohfuckthereisTwilightSparkleinmyroomonmybedreadingwhyissheherehowdidshegetherewhatdon’tifuckingdosomethingohrightbecauseohfuckthereisTwilightSparkleinmyroomonmybedreadingwhyissheherehowdidshegetherewhatdon’tifuckingdosomethingohrightbecause.

Eventually Todd took control of his frazzled brain and took to action. He dropped his bag, which was starting to hurt his arm, and continued to stare. Another ten minutes later, he grew bored of the same message and set his brain to a new challenge. ‘Right, I might be crazy, but there is a pony in my room. I need to know whether I need help or not, so, what next? Umm, talk to her maybe? I guess that’s as good a start as any.’

He cleared his voice and tried to speak. “Hellomynameistodwhatareyoudoinginmyroom?” Todd slapped his mouth with his hands and looked back at the unicorn, expecting it to have some shocked or surprised expression. But she didn’t even move. Just kept reading her book and leaving a few notes here and there.

Once his heart had calmed, Todd tried again. “Hello? Can you hear me?” He crept closer, taking small steps. “Helllloooo! Is anybody theeerrrreee?”

His words seemed to go right through her as she made not a single notice of his presence.

Feeling somewhat sad that he was being ignored, Tod tried a more direct approach. He stepped forward bravely and did what only the mad would do. He stuck his hand in-between Twilight and a book, and started waving. He did this for a while, with no result. It seemed she couldn’t see him, or hear him; but could she feel him?

With not a lot of choices, he chooses a quick poke to the cheek to do the trick. He brought his hand up, finger at the ready, and pushed forward, his finger landing on her soft fur. This seemed to work as she quickly brought a hoof to her face, as Tod quickly withdrew his finger. Twilight took her eyes off the book and looked around.

Feeling that this was the big moment, Todd gave the biggest and friendliest smile he could. His efforts were in vain, however, as her gaze gone right through him. She shrugged and looked up.

“Oh my, is that the time?” she said looked shocked at Todd’s bare wall. “Well I better get some lunch.” And with that she left his bed, and walked through the wall. Todd returned to vegetable mode for a few seconds, staring intensely at the wall, and back to where Twilight just was.

After he recovered, he noted that her book was still lying on his bed. Checking back at the wall to make sure she didn’t randomly reappear, he jumped on his bed and flipped through the book to the beginning.

“Hmm, Twilight’s diary, this should be good.” Tod smiled to himself as he relaxed and turned the first page.