SOTP (Seat of the Pants) Collection

by Gylden Glor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Spike, Scootaloo, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3482

Just random short stories I get in my head. No real plot, might never follow them through.

Overall, it's just like the short description says. It's just the random ideas I get for stories, most of them include a human in Equestria, some of them include the other way around, while some of them are just the shenanigans of the ponies to the extreme! (By the way, I spelled the word shenanigans right on my first try: no red lines underneath it :P)
Anyway, I'll probably never 'complete' these stories, and more likely than not, I won't follow them through with actual stories.
But, if it looks entertaining to me (I'm the writer, I don't want to be bored when I'm writing it) I'll follow it through with more chapters, either in the same story arc or in the same style, and make a new collection or story. (Note: I won't upload any stories until I finish a current one. Collections will always be new.)

Published 2012-02-03 18:12:58 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-22 01:25:47 UTC

Finals (SOTP Story 2)

A small, lavender filly ran into her chambers, bolting the door behind her, panting wildly.

"Spike...where are you?"

The infant merely crawled over to her, looking up with bright, green eyes.

"Twi....light?"

"Yes, Spike. Come with me, quick..."

The baby dragon stuck his barbed tail in his mouth, sucking on the purple triangle, even as Twilight's horn glowed, telekinetically retrieving the smallest bag she could find.

"Okay, this looks good..."

"What?"

She looked back at the infant dragon, the young foal shaking slightly, making the infant dragon nervous.

"I...I got a seventy one  on the finals!"

The dragon didn't care, and nor did it understand. He merely shoved his tail back in his mouth, and continued sucking, lathering it in saliva.

However, he stopped cold as Twilight Sparkles' horn glowed brighter than a ruby, (which Spike could really go for right about now,) performing a very difficult spell. As it ended, the bag shook, shivered, gesticulated, and flopped down, seeming...bigger, than before.

"Come on, Spike!"

The infant dragon merely burped as Twilight picked him up, magically transporting him down the stairs of the bag bunker, giving him a strange, tingling feeling.

"We need to hide in here until Celestia calms down...she'll probably banish me...maybe I can get some studying done in here..."

She placed Spike in a small bed, pacing up and down the steps as the bag closed behind her. She proceeded down the steps, all the way to the tenth basement, where books about hiding were stored.

Suddenly, she heard a door open, and she huddled under the first bookcase she saw, hearing the ornamental golden hoof shoes clicking on the floor outside of the bag, so close and yet so far away...

"Twilight Sparkle? I wanted to talk to you about your grade on my finals."

Twilight gulped, shivering under the bookcase.

I've been here for only a half a year, and already I've failed her...and myself...

"Twilight Sparkle? Where are you, my faithful student?"

The pony in question cried silently, knowing how much she would miss being called Celestia's 'faithful student'...

"Hello? Spike? Twilight? Anypony?"

The tapping accelerated, Celestia frantically searching the room, worried for her protege.

"Oh, dear...ah!"

Twilight cringed as the bunker shook, books falling from their shelves, the sound of Celestia tripping over the bag thunderous within the lavender unicorns' retreat.

"Oh, my...Twilight is never so careless as to leave her things lying about..."

The unicorn shrank back under the bookcase, pressing herself farther in, her small form allowing her to do so with ease.

Celestia, please, don't open the bag...

It was too late, as a sound akin to the world tearing in half denoted the zipper being pulled open, an audible gasp heard from above.

"Oh, my...this is..."

Twilight's heartbeat drowned out Celestia's words, and the sound of ornamental gold on stone.

"Spike...then Twilight Sparkle must be in here."

The unicorns' heart skipped a beat, hammering faster and faster, the alicorn already on the fourth basement, gasping in surprise as she beheld the statue that stood before her. She pressed on, determined to find her student...

"Twilight? Twilight!?"

Celestia stepped right in front of her student's hiding place, oblivious as to where the unicorn may be.

She steeled her nerves, and shimmied out from under the bookshelf, looking down at the ground.

"I'm right here, Princess Celestia...I've failed you..."

Twilight cried, already missing the title of protege and faithful student.

"Twilight Sparkle, look at me."

The unicorn did as she was told, sniffling and crying the entire time.

"My faithful student...don't cry..."

Twilight's heart skipped yet another beat.

"You have performed magic within this bag that few other trained unicorns can emulate. I couldn't be prouder of you, even if I tried."

Twilight sniffed, rubbing her eyes with a hoof, surprised to see a single tear rolling down Celestia's cheek as the world cleared, the unicorns' own tears removed from her eyes.

"You...you're not...going to banish me?"

Celestia smiled, sitting in front of her friend and student.

"Why would I do that? Twilight, you are my best student, and I chose you as my protege for a reason."

Twilight sniffed once more, Celestia's smile faltering as another tear rolled down her cheek.

"In your short time here...you've accomplished more than I could have ever thought possible..."

"But...I failed your test..."

"Perhaps, yes. But the fact that you were able to do this...I've already changed your grade to a solid hundred."

Celestia swallowed, tears overflowing, her voice cracking with pride.

"Congratulations, Twilight Sparkle."

Celestia sniffed, smile wavering slightly.

"Thank you, Celestia!"

Teacher and student hugged, Celestia missing their bond of friendship already.

Alas, to uncover the power of friendship, she must lose one...she must Sacrifice our friendship to save the world. Just like Gylden Glør...

Celestia pulled herself out of the hug, smiling at her student.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Twilight? We have a feast to attend."

They set off, both of them laughing as they did, Celestia leaving the bag with a new found hope.

Meanwhile...

Mørk Natt smiled thinly, looking down at the two ponies.

Twilight Sparkle...when the four stars converge...you shall truly be the one to save Luna from Nightmare Moon...

She looked up at the moon, her cutie mark glowing, the four stars on her flank emulating the four stars surrounding the moon.

Princess Luna...may you forever find peace...

Mørk Natt closed her eyes, biding her time, until the day when Nightmare Moon must raise.

I bound Nightmare Moon into the moon for Celestia, and now, after one thousand years, I must see to her return...

The dark blue pony slept, her horn shining in the light of the darkness.

Discord, PhD. (SOTP Story 3)

Pinkamena Diane Pie sat on the therapeutic chair, twiddling her cloven.

She gulped, a knot forming in her stomach. She truly hoped that this doctor could help her get better...

Thing is, she'd been everywhere, and to everypony. Peewee Herman, Groucho Sphynx, and now, a truly certified psychologist. She gulped once more, silently wishing that this one could make a difference...

After a few moments, she heard the door open, and the sound of footfall. She turned, and the Draconnequus came into view, his odd features making no sense and having no order., his small glasses bouncing as he walked, reading his clipboard, a pen in claw. He sat, and read out the details.

"So, miss Pinkamena.....it says here that you've been trying to find, and make, normalcy in everyday occurrences. You've been questioning your strange abilities, and even more so, the strange abilities of others, is that correct?"

Pinkamena gulped before answering, her flat mane spilling over the edges of the chair as she reclined.

"Yes, doctor...I've been realizing that...some of the things I do, like appear in mirrors, eat cakes whole, put things in my mane without limitations on space...it's just...weird, and...doesn't make sense. I...I don't know what's gotten into me...I'm acting like everything should have order, and sense to it! Not like...I should just be able to do something...because I want to..."

Discord nodded, and lowered his spectacles, looking directly at Pinkamena.

"Miss Pie, I'm afraid you've come down with a severe case of sanity."

The pink pony gasped, and trembled slightly.

"S...Sanity!? But...how!? I crushed that sickness long ago!"

The esteemed doctor sighed, and placed down his clipboard and pen on the table beside him. He picked up a glass of chocolate milk.

"Would you care for any?"

"No, thank you. I believe that water is a better beverage for the body."

She gasped, hearing the words coming out of her mouth.

"I...I really have come down with sanity! Oh, Doctor, what do I do!?"

The psychiatrist sighed, and crossed his legs.

"There are two things you can do, Pinkamena Diane Pie. Either you can embrace your new sanity and live a life of order, or..."

He adjusted his spectacles before continuing, a grave look on his face.

"You can partake in my School of Insanity. I would give you one-on-one sessions, in which I will help you see that the world truly has no rhyme or reason, beyond schedules and other such things. I will help you see, that in this world, anything is possible, as no rules truly bind us."

Pinkamena Diane Pie gulped, remembering her fun-loving, crazy days as a true Party Pony...

She sighed, closing her eyes, and answered after a brief moment.

"Discord, sir...sign me up."

The Draconnequs smiled, and patted the pink earth pony on the shoulder.

"Wonderful! I will come to get you tomorrow, so that you may have time to pack your things today, as well as tell your friends that you are now on the path to your old, fun-loving, insane self."

And with that, the psychiatrist was gone, leaving Pinkamena all alone in the small room.

She sighed and stood, her pink mane flowing over her shoulders.

With an air of determination, she walked out of the office, and out of the building, into the hot summer air of Ponyville, already thinking of what to pack.

Note from Gylden

Hey! How did you like it? Well, I've decided on something...

I'm going to start a second story based on this!

This is going to be Chapter 1, and the story is going to be called 'Discord, PhD.'

It will be pretty short, and don't worry: it won't interrupt 'A Chronicle of Choices'. I would write more chapters for 'Discord, PhD.' when I have writers' block in 'A Chronicle of Choices'.

So, enjoy!

Tides (SOTP Story 4)

This is a spinoff of 'Scootatrap'. I decided, why not make my own version of it, but in which it's a bit heart-wrenching, y'know?

Dash looked down at the sandcastle.  She almost spat in disgust.  It must have been some kind of joke.  Her half of the castle was three upturned plastic pails worth of sand.  She hadn’t even bothered the pack the sand in before dumping it out, so the thing was already falling apart.  Scootaloo’s half of the castle, on the other hoof, was by most pony standards a work of art.  There were parapets and crenelations; conical towers with little seaweed flags; it had a sand dollar royal insignia over the drawbridge; and there was a cockle King and his razor clam Queen, with long flowing seaweed hair.

    When the tide rose and the surf came up, Dash’s half quickly collapsed.  Scootaloo’s portion was spared for a while, as she had carefully dug a moat and drainage channels.

    “Really, kid?  Really?” Dash spat.  “You had me drive you all the way out to the beach and waste six hours of my life for this?”

    “What’s wrong?” Scootaloo asked, suddenly worried that Dash was starting to have one of her episodes again.

    “'What’s wrong?'  Are you stupid?  Look at your sandcastle.  You spent all that time on it, and I had to help you, and now it’s getting washed away.”

    “But that’s what sandcastles do,” Scootaloo explained.  “That always happens.  It’s a sign of impermanence.”

    “Imperpetence?” Dash tried to say.  “I’ll show you imperpetence.”  Dash got up and started to trod all over Scootaloo’s still standing castle.  The King and Queen of the Ocean were smashed to little pieces.

    “Heyyyy!” Scootaloo shouted.  “What did you do that for?”

    “Because the beach sucks.  That’s why,” Dash insisted.

    “Why did you even come out here if you’re going to be like that?” Scootaloo asked.  “You said you wanted to come.”

    “No,” lied Dash.  “I never wanted to come.  Your mother thought it would be a good idea if I brought you, the ungrateful bitch.”

    “Don’t talk bad about my mom.  She struggles.”

    “Yeah, with you.  And why the hell are you wearing a swimsuit?  You walk around naked all the time anyway.”

    “Because it’s the beach,” explained Scootaloo.  “You have to wear bathing suits at the beach.  Me and Sweetie Belle tried on all the different bathing suits at her sister’s store and this one was the cutest.  We had lots of fun.”

    “You didn’t even go swimming!”

    “The water was too cold!”

    Dash boxed her behind the ears.  “Ow!” Scootaloo screamed, her eyes filling with tears.  “I’m telling!”  Dash clobbered her again, this time knocking her over into the sand.  She sat back up, now completely sobbing.  “I’m gonna tell my mom and then you’re not going to be her girlfriend anymore!”

    Dash kicked her in the gut, making her double over.  “Why do you think she’s going to believe you after all the lies you told, huh?  After those fires you’ve been setting?  After she found you cutting yourself?  You think she can see those bruises under your coat?  Why would she believe you when she could believe a responsible adult such as myself?”

Now it becomes my material.

Scootaloo simply accepted it. Accepted the pain, accepted the truth that the Rainbow Dash she had once known...was dead.

"Go on, run! I'll just catch you anyway!"

Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow Dash, simply lying in the sand, letting her grief and pain wash over her.

"Come on, you little shit! It's no fun when I can't chase you! And you want to have fun, right?"

Scootaloo stood, and stared into Rainbow Dash's hateful eyes.

Dead.

"I'm not going to run...I can't. I can't run from the inevitable."

Rainbow Dash chuckled lightly.

"Damn straight you can't! We finally see eye to eye about this! But, run anyway! It's fun to see you squirm when I catch you!"

Scootaloo shook her head.

"I don't mean you. And I don't mean being beaten.

"Rainbow Dash, I'm going to ask you to do something, not as a friend, and not as an enemy. It's simply a request."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"What is it, you little bitch?"

"I want you to kill me."

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes wide. For a second, Scootaloo hoped that the old, caring Rainbow Dash had returned...

Unfortunately, that Rainbow Dash was dead. And the new, cruel Rainbow Dash spit upon her grave by laughing boisterously at Scootaloo.

"Wow! That's just sad! I'm not gonna kill you, by the way, because then I'd have to leave your bitch of a mother. And go to jail."

Scootaloo sniffed. She had made up her mind.

"Fine! Then I'll do it myself! I'll go into the surf, and I'll drown myself!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged, smiling as the orange Pegasus cried harder and harder.

"See if I care! I'll say that, when I went to get some ice cream for you, you just jumped in and drowned. A total accident."

Scootaloo nodded.

"Thank you, Rainbow Dash. But, before I go, I have one last thing that I want to say to you..."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"Make it quick. I want to watch you drown."

Scootaloo closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"You used to be my role model, Rainbow Dash. I used to look up to you. I used to admire you, I used to think that you were the best Pegasus on the planet..."

"Which I am!"

"But now, when you beat me, and you make fun of me, and you laugh at me...I see the truth. I see, that you're a horrible pony, and that I never want to be anything like you."

Rainbow Dash smiled, gaining never-ending enjoyment from the last words.

"Yeah, whatever."

"I used to be your number one fan. We used to be friends. And now, I'm nothing but your punching bag..."

Rainbow Dash's smile faltered, if only a little bit.

My number one fan...

Scootaloo gulped, and turned.

"But now, the old Rainbow Dash, the Rainbow Dash I used to look up to, is dead.

"But I want you to know..."

Scootaloo began to walk, sobbing heavily as her tears fell onto the sand of the beach, joining the salt of the sea.

"That I'm still your number one fan."

Rainbow Dash's smile died then. As she watched the magenta-maned, orange Pegasus walk away, away from her, and away from life; moving closer to the surf, and closer to death, things started to click.

My number one fan...

I'm beating her up for fun...

Dear Celestia, what have I become...

She reflected on everything in a split second. All of the times she had laughed, played, and hung out with Scootaloo...

And then all the times that she had laughed at, toyed with, and beaten Scootaloo.

A solitary tear rolled down her cyan face.

A solitary, life-changing tear.

"Scootaloo! Wait!"

Scootaloo turned, and saw Rainbow Dash running towards her, pain clear on her face.

"No! Leave me alone! Let me die!"

"No! I won't let you die!"

More tears flowed from Scootaloo's eyes as she ran. The beach was so close, yet so far away...

Please...let me end it...

However, a tackle from a cyan Pegasus ended her trek.

"No! Let me go!"

She struggled against the cyan Pegasus holding her down, trying desperately to escape from the cyan Pegasus' grip...

But then, she felt new tears on her face. New, unfamiliar tears. She opened her eyes to see Rainbow Dash, lower lip quivering as she cried, sobbing.

"Scootaloo...please...don't kill yourself. I've been...I've been such a bitch to you, and I'm sorry...Oh, Scootaloo, I'm so sorry..."

Scootaloo stopped struggling, and smiled a sad smile.

"Do you...do you really mean that?"

Rainbow Dash picked up the orange Pegasus, and drew her into a hug.

"Yes, Scootaloo, I do. I mean every word of it. You're my number one fan."

Scootaloo smiled, and hugged her back. The old Rainbow Dash wasn't dead...she was just buried.

"Rainbow Dash...thank you..."

The two Pegasi stayed in a hugging position, simply crying onto each others' shoulders, crying away all the torment that Rainbow Dash had inflicted on the young filly...

Finally, after about a half hour, Rainbow Dash pulled Scootaloo off of herself, and smiled.

"So, squirt, what do ya' say to some ice cream?"

Scootaloo smiled back, and hugged her once more.

"I say that's a wonderful idea, Rainbow Dash."

After a few moments, they walked off, side by side, headed for where they knew the best ice cream in all of Equestria was served.

And, as they walked, high tide rolled in, washing away tears, hoofprints, and a sand castle, leaving behind nothing but a fresh, new beginning.

The End.

Mad Libs (SOTP Story 5)

---------------The (A) of (B)--------------

The *(C)** arrived upon the (D)*

His steel wings (E) the (F) of his (G),

His ebony horn (H).

The (I) opened his (J). Discord was (K) his (L), as well as (M)... For one year, he had (N) Discord (O) Celestia and Luna again, and again, and again.

Now the Draconequus was (P), slowly (Q).

The zebra stood, his ebony horn (R), his wings of metal (S), (T) as they did. He (U) the (V); the (W). He (X) them (Y) him (Z).

Note from the **(AA)

---**

Yeah, I might have to make at least twenty of these for ONE FUCKING CHAPTER to be mad-libbed...

FUN.

Anyway, enjoy!

I suggest you write down your choices on a piece of paper first.

Virtual Reality (SOTP Story 1)

Rainbow Dash fell down, down, down, down, down, down...

And landed, taking her body farther through the packed earth, her wings falling to pieces, her rainbow mane turning brown with dirt, even as the final projectiles pierced her body, sending her life force deeper down into the earth.

Twilight stopped, floating, staring down at the hole.

"Hah! That's what you get! Trying to cheat me!"

Her horn started glowing even brighter, and the world was suddenly awash with ecstasy.

"I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!!!!"

Back in real life...

The six friends awoke, looking at each other, desensitized.

"Well, that was...fun."

"I hate losing..."

"Come on, girls, let's go home. That...virtual reality stuff really threw off my grip on real reality."

"Twilight."

"What?"

The lavender unicorn backed up as the cyan Pegasus held a gun towards her, her hoof about to pull back on the large trigger, the barrel gleaming in the white light of the laboratory.

"R...Rainbow Dash? We're in real life now...it's not a game..."

The cyan Pegasus' eyes zoned out.

"How do we know?"

She pulled the trigger.

This is based on some weird movie my dad was watching once. I don't know what it was called, but it had a bunch of people going into virtual reality. In the end, two of them (they were all friends BTW) decided to call a truce. And then one of them detonated...something on the others' jacket. And they were all like, 'I win, I win, I win!'. And then, back IRL, this one dude was all like 'Stop.' He held a gun up to the Asian guy, and the Asian was all like, 'But this isn't a game anymore!' And Douche with Gun was like, 'How do we know?' And he shot him.

If any of you can tell me what the movie was, based off of this horrible description, please tell me.