Salt and Sun

by VanishingAct

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Other, Comedy, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4297

I, Maximillian Moorcroft, have become a brown unicorn with blonde hair. I am okay with this.

I, Maximillian Moorcroft, lead a good life. My every whim is catered for me by my gentleman's gentleman and best friend, Jiles, and I spend my days as I wish, which normally means a huge blowout party for most of London to come to once every two months. My family's affluence allows me priviledges that I wouldn't otherwise receive and I am happy. So when I wake to find myself not as my usual dashing self, but as a dashing pony, it bemuses me, of course. But I am resourceful, so it shouldn't be too hard to work this all out. Nothing will stand in my way.

My name is Richard Jiles, employee of Maximillian Moorcroft, a faithful servant. I do all of my duties with diligence and professionalism, and endeavour to help Master Maxie in whatever he does. He can be somewhat... arrogant, light-headed and ignorant of others in his ways, and I must say, that aggravates me, but what can I do? I am a professional. My job is to look after Maxie, make sure he doesn't do anything excessively stupid, reckless, or otherwise damaging. These turn of events for the both of us make me think that my job will become a lot harder... Can't stop now though.

Part of the PonyEarthverse

Published 2012-11-12 09:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-20 12:56:27 UTC

A View on The World

Author's note, I recommend you read the description to get both perspectives that this story will have.

If you drive away from London and into Kent, you will eventually come across a grand white house, three stories high, 8 bedrooms, detached, with a pathway and gate, and long hedges leading to a fountain outside the front door. If you are lucky, you can sometimes see a dashing young man standing on the roof of this opulent property. If you are very lucky, it is the fourth Friday of an even numbered month, where you may be permitted to enter and regard the grandeur.

Of both the house and the man behind it of course.

My life is fantastic. I live here, gaining money from my ever working father in Thailand, spending on whatever I choose, using my precious time to do, well, whatever. I am homeschooled and predicted to get 11 A*s. My friends are few and far between...

Fine, I have but one friend, but he is the best man anyone could ever ask for. Jiles is simply a man for any man, loyal, obedient, caring. He is good to talk to, he never seems to have any problems with you, and can be a real wisecrack when he wants.

He also helps me timetable my life and does most of my organising, so that's a big plus.

"Master, these parties, these excuses to wreck the house down only to repair it again, is it all necessary?"

And of course, he tries to put me down at every opportunity.

"Course not, Jiles. I just feel like it." I sniffed at the wine glass in my hand.

"Mmm, smells like fresh roses. There's a hint of lemon in there somewhere too."

I downed the glass in one swift motion before throwing the glass against the floor while I watched in delight at it shattering.

"ANOTHER!"

Jiles did an eyeroll, that's like, one of his signature things to do.

"It's just, I fear, that you take it to excess. You drink underage, you allow other people to get mind-numbingly drunk on our property. People complain about the household."

"Bah, let them complain, sucks for them that they can't be as they wish. Why hamper my fun just because they can't have any?"

I do as I wish. No-one should get in the way of that. I want to throw a party, I have the means and motivation, why stop me? A few laws may get broken here and there but hey, what would life be if you never broke the rules?

My lustrous red hair glowed as the sun set in front of me, they were attempting to match eachother. It was time.

If you were very lucky on the fourth Friday of an even month, one could see a fair red haired boy leaning against the balcony of his home, fully suited, prim and proper, with his ever faithful butler standing next to him. The boy had a huge grin, but not excessively so, and his eyes danced around in his head as he realised it was time.

I am Maximillian Moorcroft, welcome to my world.

"Hehey, Moorcroft! Nice place you got here!"

"REVEL IN IT BITCH!!"

I may have been slightly out of it.

Anyways, everything was in full swing, the lights were low, the music was loud, booze, bitches, the whole shebang. Slags, tarts, chavs, anyone who would knew where it was at was coming here, to mine, for an opportunity to get as pissdrunk as possible, drink some more, dance badly to good music and generally have a good time.

"Yo Moorcroft!"

"Yo?!"

"Look over there," And he points out a petite girl, probably around 16 to 17, in this little black number, looking around, seeming rather lost and alone.

"And?"

"Well? Aren't you going to talk to her?!" Why are you looking at me so expectantly?!

"Why should I?"

"Well, I dunno, she looks alone, you own this place, she's kinda hot..."

I considered this for a few ticks. "Meh, I guess I shall. Beats all the common fare around here." I swung my arm around to all of the fake baked tarts around here, either passed out in a puddle of themselves or still dancing, just about. A flash went off as two of them did a self-shot, bow-legged, duckfaced, not appetizing at all. I could imagine the Facebook caption right there and then: Gr8 nite at Maxxies xoxo!!!

Sometimes, they make me question why I even do this. After all, they can't appreciate the house, not the paintings (nothing special, but they still get locked in the basement), not the gardens, not much really. But hey, that's not what they are here for. They're here to have a good time and have fun, and I'll give it to them. I like to do it, it gives me a good feeling without any extensive drawbacks, so I do it. This is as much my fun as it is theirs.

I stepped over to the girl, noticing that I staggered. This isn't supposed to be happening this early. Oh well.

"How are you enjoying it?!"

She jolted, startled. "What?!"

"This." I spun around and gave a short laugh. "Everything!" Myself included, of course!

"...It's nice, I guess..."

Nice? Just nice?

...Well, I guess 'nice' is a decent adjective. Not an 'epic!' or a 'sick!' or 'awesome!' but it'll have to do.

"...but why do you do it all though?"

Oh Lord.

"Please don't pull a 'Jiles' on me, I do all this cos I can."

I looked outside the open front door to see Jiles and a round Welshman whose name I couldn't recall at that point fighting off two guys who wanted to jump into the fountain. Oh come on, you guys...

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE JILES, LET THEM SWIM!" I shouted as jovially as drunk me could manage.

Jiles and Welshy looked to eachother and then back to me. Sadly, they weren't me. Jiles did the eyeroll and they both released the two guys, who promptly backflipped their way into the water. I turned back to the girl who was regarding me with a WTF expression. I didn't see what there was not to get, but damn, did she look fine with it!

I reached around her back for a wine bottle that was on a table behind her and took a hearty swig from it. .

"By the way, what's your name? I'm Maxillion."

Wait, that's not it. Another swig, another hot WTF face.

"I mean Maximon."

That still ain't right.

"Um, are you sure you're fine?"

"Yeah yeah. My name is... shiiiiiii..."

The world started fading to black around me. Of course, this was inevitable, it was just a question of when, and now, with this girl, this rare jewel in an ocean of trash fading away from me, I could only think of one thing.

Too fucking soon.

"Dammit..." I sighed as I hit the ground.

There are few certainties in life. Everyone is born. Everyone dies. That is pretty much all you have. You can create your own certainties if you wish. Mine came about pretty much as a result of what I choose to do on certain days. I will always wake up on a Saturday morning in my bed at 9:30 AM with a terrible hangover and a craving for Cheerios. This Saturday was a rare exception. I mean, it was 9:30, my head felt like it was going to explode and the craving was strong with me. However...

This isn't my bed. I thought to myself. I knew this before I had even opened my eyes. My bed is king-sized as opposed to queen-sized, my mattress is much softer, I have a 16 tog quilt and I am not nearly warm enough and the sun is falling on me in the wrong place. This isn't my bed.

Naturally this meant that someone was using my bed when I passed out. I do hope that Mary and Sue change the bedsheets.

Passed out too bloody soon. Didn't even catch that girl's name.

I lashed out with my leg in frustration, expecting to hit a bedpost, but didn't.

Odd.

I tried and failed once more. Now that I thought about it, my whole body felt smaller.

What in the- oh no, don't tell me...

I attempted to open my eyes, but closed them again at the blinding light.

Ouch! This is why I don't get up until 10:00! Gotta try again though.

I did and the light didn't hurt nearly as much. I lifted my head up and looked forward. Conveniently enough there was a mirror in front of me, and in the mirror...

Yep, it happened.

Staring back at me was a chocolate coloured unicorn stallion with a long, straw coloured mane that fell back behind his face and with light blue eyes. His, or should I say my, horn was abnormally long from what I could tell.

I am one of them now. Bronies to ponies, I saw this on the internet! First, Lauren Faust and Tara Strong became Celestia and Luna, then the Rainbow Dash guy, the Fluttershy girl, some others I can't remember, and now, me!

"Jiles!" I called. He needed to see this. We needed to formulate a plan. I mean, I am now a pony, what do?

Footsteps were heard reverberating around my room until the familiar black haired man came through the door.

"How can I help, Master..." He obviously noticed.

"...Yeah."

"...I suppose I should cancel your salon appointment, then, Maxie?"

"I believe that would be most appropriate."

Whelp, that's the first chapter of this thing. In the next chapter:
Jiles shows his side of events
Maxie eats Cheerios
Research is conducted.

Stay tuned, like, fav, etc.

-TheAirHideous

Existential Cri- Nope, False Alarm

"...Well, time to see if I can walk." I said.

I fumbled with the covers for a while before Jiles pulled them away. I geared myself up and rolled over so that I would land on my feet, and surprisingly enough, I did without landing flat on my face.

"...That was easy." I said with my new voice. It seemed a lot more musical and slightly higher pitch. My accent had changed as well, so I sounded more like a citizen of Canterlot. It wasn't as if I didn't like it, nor that I preferred it. It was different, but still good.

"...Maxie, are you alright?" Jiles snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah. Time to see if I can walk. How hard can it be?"

Answer? Not very. Left with both feet, right with both feet. If you imagine the back legs being similar to an upturned arm, it makes things a lot simpler.

"Alright then. Jiles, let's go to the kitchen. I need my cereal."

"As you wish." and with that, we left the guest room we were currently in.

It should be noted, when dealing with stairs as a pony, one must always be careful and prepare themselves. Failure to do so can cause you to slip and it will hurt. A lot.

Seriously, I've warned you about stairs.

After recovering from my own fall with the help of Jiles, we both walked off to the kitchen. At the door we both heard a call, a loud, deep, accented bellow.

"Yer up an' early, eh Maxie? What'll it be, th' regular two bowls or three?"

"No thanks Flaherty," Flaherty, the Welsh guy, that's his name! "Methinks we're gonna need four bowls..."

"Four bowls?! Seriously, what we're ye drinkin' last night to warrant four bowls?!"

Explanations were due. "See, it's not what I was drinking last night, but what happened afterwards...". I walked through the door in to the kitchen to let Flaherty look at my all new pony form.

"...Yup, that's a four-bowler." He replied with a whistle. He began to pour the Cheerios into their respective bowls while I, after a brief struggle, managed to sit myself down on one of the chairs.

And now a problem was presented to me. There are Cheerios in a bowl, I have a spoon but no hands to use it with. What do I do?

Option 1: Forgo the spoon entirely and dig in with my face. While this would prove effective and efficient, it certaainly would not be dignified.

Option 2: There was no option 2.

So I went back to the drawing board. How would a pony do it? Well obviously unicorns would-

I'm a unicorn! Of course! I can just use magic!

And then I had a second problem, how do I magic? Well, most magic systems tend to rely on concentration so...

I focussed long and hard on the spoon in front of me and projected a mental image of the spoon rising and lo! The spoon was enveloped in a chocolate glow and was now levitating in front of me. It was a logical assumption that the spoon would do as I imagined, so I thought of it going into the bowl and it, slowly and slightly wobbly, went in.

And lift!

It did, taking with it... two Cheerios.

This will take some time... I thought as I made the spoon come to me so that I could eat.

It was then I heard the characteristic cough that could only come from Jiles, which normally signalled that he wanted to talk to me.

"Yes, Jiles?"

"I need to vacate the house and make sure that everything is in order. May I be so permitted?" He let out with a slight sigh. I know the feeling; 'vacate the house' was codespeak for make all the people who stayed overnight GTFO.

"You may." I said curtly, attempting to concentrate on the next spoonful as I heard Jiles' soft footfalls as he left the room.

Master Maxie isn't your regular sort of person, or should I say pony now? There are quite a few circumstances which led to this, one of which being his large amount of wealth generated through his father's chemical engineering company. That's only part of the story though.

He is extremely self concious, not allowing anyone to point out his downfalls, downplaying them as much as he can and where possible not mentioning them altogether. If he told you that he found it easy to stand and walk, he's lying.

Anyway, my job now was to make all those who stayed overnight to leave, and thus I first went into Maxie's room, which had been occupied by two ladies.

I rapped thrice on the door and waited for response. When it didn't come I opened the door to find that the couple had already left, and they had made the bed as well. At least that was less work for the Whittaker twins.

His room seemed in reasonable order, nothing was missing, all was well. I left and made my way to the other rooms, musing to myself about the circumstances that we were in now.

"This is international news, and all those affected are congregating to New York, so by logical process, that means that Maxie is soon going to be wanting to book a flight. I could book early but... no, I'll wait until Maxie wants to, and then we'll go."

I made my way towards each bedroom in turn, asking kindly for people to leave. And if they didn't well... let's say that I had to 'eject' them from the property. I wonder when the day will come that I finally tire of dealing with Maxie and his parties and these ruffians, but no, I must stay with Maxie, especially since his...

I'm sorry, where was I? Ah yes. I'd finished with all of the eight bedrooms and now returned to the kitchen where I'd expected to find him, but in his place I found the portly form of William Flaherty.

"He's gone back t'his room, 'e has." said he curtly.

"Alright then." And I went to leave.

"Richard?"

But I then stopped in my tracks as I heard William's voice returning. Without turning around I answered.

"Yes?"

"When are we gonna tell 'im? He keeps talkin' about 'im and I just..."

"Soon." I wiped my brow at the issue in hand, about what William, the Whittaker twins and myself knew, and what Maxie didn't. "Not now, but soon."

I left.

"Come on, where am I?!"

My rage was directed at my computer, the internet, background ponies and the fandom in general. I'd been searching for at least fifteen minutes now to try and find a background pony that matched myself to no avail. It didn't help matters that I had to relearn how to use a mouse and keyboard with magic. Always use a pen on the keyboard, never try to magic it directly.

I was furiously searching left and right, looking in all sorts of directories on all the main wikis. Searching through stallions got me no dice, and I wasn't in anything that said unicorns either.

"Darn it, why do I have to be so obscure?!"

It was then I saw a category that caught my attention.

"Canterlot ponies, eh?"

I clicked on it and found all the usual guys. Caesar, Lyrica and the rest of them. It took a page turn but I finally found him, or should I say me? A chocolate brown stallion with light blue eyes, a long horn, straw coloured mane and a sun for a cutie mark. And I managed to find my new pony form's name at last.

I heard footsteps come up the stairs before three sharp knocks at the door.

"Come in, Jiles."

He entered and before he let himself speak I showed him my monitor.

"Look Jiles, I am Chocolate Sun.".

A Phone Call and Impending Doom

"Well now, what should I refer to you as now?" I asked tentatively.

It didn't take long for Maxie to respond. He had obviously already worked this out.

"Well this is just a new body, isn't it? Everything up here's still the same," he said while waving a hoof around his head, "So I'm still Maxie."

"Alright then.".

Still Maxie, eh? What are you, Maxie? What do you see yourself as? What do you think other people see you as? I understand the ways you work but other people don't. They won't be so forgiving when it comes to it, and I wish that you won't have to face it so soon, but that's all gone now thanks to... to this.

He never operated the same as regular children his age. He would always refrain from contact with others, shying away from anyone who wished to get to know him. For the longest of times I had believed it to be because he just plain wasn't interested with the affairs of others, being hugely self centred, but now I believe it's quite the opposite, and that he refrains for an altogether different reason.

And then he discovered the joys of alcohol, and pulled off a surprisingly successful face-heel turn, as he would call it. No more was the socially awkward rich kid in the corner, here was this new, high flying social butterfly that everyone wanted to be, and yet he still has few that he would actually refer to as a friend. He obviously dislikes extended social contact, and I have a tentative theory which would explain his behaviour over the years, but I need to work out whether it is true...

"Jiles, take a look at this!"

Startled from my musings, I looked at Maxie's monitor, which now displayed a news article.

"Celestia and Luna have gone missing!"

"Celestia and Luna...?"

"Well, basically," Maxie began, "In Equestria, where the ponies come from, there are two immortal princesses that move the sun and moon, called Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

Moving the sun and moon? Whoever became these two must have been very pivotal. "Continue."

"So last week, when this all started, Lauren Faust, creator of the MLP series, and Tara Strong, voice actress for Twilight Sparkle, became Celestia and Luna, and announced that all of the Mane Six should meet up in New York."

"Mane Six?"

"The six wielders of the Elements of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, Fluttershy, Element of Kindness, Applejack, Element of Honesty, Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, Rarity, Element of Generosity and Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty."

My face furrowed as I struggled to grasp the concept. I eventually gave up, dismissing them as six powerful ponies. I'll work this out later.

"So them going missing is important?"

"HUGELY IMPORTANT!" Maxie shouted shrilly, "When two near god-tier beings disappear from the face of the earth, you know some serious- oh, Lord."

Maxie was wrenched from his train of thought by a realisation. "What is it Maxie?"

"Discord."

I allowed myself to handle the explanation of this new name in simple turns. "Powerful evil person?"

"Powerful, yes, extremely so. Evil is debatable. If you consider widespread chaos evil then-"

"So, evil being. And I assume he is the cause for all of this?"

"Most probably."

Of course! That had to be it! Discord is causing all this shit to happen! But... why?

If I recall correctly, (which I nearly always do when it comes to ponies) Discord was sealed in stone, so how did he break reality?

Then I realised, asking how a god of chaos broke reality is like asking why the sun rises in the morning. It just does, inevitably.

So, this is his new method of spreading chaos? Turning people into ponies? If you asked me, it seemed too... regular. I mean, why not other creatures? Why not just the same routine as he did when he was freed?

That was when I worked out he had a plan. Discord always does. This ponification must be a cover for something bigger. But what?

...That was about as far as my thought process took me. No matter how hard I tried, there were no explanations as to what he could be planning. But I knew one thing.

"As much as I like the guy, he needs to be stopped."

No sooner did I say that, my phone began to rang, the chorus of TheLivingTombstone's remix of 'Discord' beginning to play, funnily enough. Knowing that I normally received few calls, I could already predict who it was. With a groan of discontent, I began to reach forth to it with my magic, but stopped myself when I remembered how hit and miss it was.

"Jiles, could you answer it and pass it to my hoof, please?"

He did both and I put my phone to my ear and answered.

"Hello?"

"What's up, Littlehands?" asked a feminine voice down the line, and I sighed in frustration as I knew who it was. Pretty much the most terrifying person I knew, man or woman. She took great delight in causing me pain, passing it off as 'nothing much', then told me to get up and do it all over again.

Begrudgingly, I present to you my friend (sort of), my enemy (definitely) and my ballroom dancing partner, Alexandra Stipes.

"Oh, erm, hi, Alexandra..."

"So what's going on around your place?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. I'm kinda hung over and all-"

"Well, I guess that explains what happened to your voice," Probably should have come up with an excuse in case she thought it was wrong, but she glossed over it, so it's all good!

She continued, "Well, over here, I'm bored as all hell. D'you think you can come over?"

Oh no. I know what trap you're planning, and besides, I can't, now that I'm a pony. "Yeah, I don't really feel like practising today-"

"Oh no, we don't have to practice!" She replied unusually swiftly, "Although your co-ordination is terrible..."

"Shut up, my co-ordination is perfect!", she lies, I tell you, she lies!

A short silence preceded her response. "Yeah, right. So anyways, could you just come over?"

Now is when I had to bullshit, "Yeah, about that, I can't really leave the house today-"

"Then I'll come over to yours!" Darn it, stop cutting me off! "I'll even bring Chester-"

"I SWEAR DOWN, ALEXANDRA, IF YOU EVEN THINK OF BRINGING THAT DARN DOG, I WILL HAVE JILES LOCK THE GATES ON YOU!!!" I shouted very necessarily loudly. That dog is the bane of my existence. It constantly wants to sit on me, demands I give it attention and food at every possible opportunity and shits in all of my best shoes!

I don't understand why you would have a dog anyway. Constantly having to look after the darn thing day in, day out would drive me insane. No, I have enough to worry about myself, I don't want to have to worry about something else!

Another silence, longer this time, which was good in my opinion as it meant that she had more time to take in the fact that I do not want that dog within a mile of my house. "So, I can come over, but just not with Chester?"

"N-"

"K thanks bye!" She cut me off before I could respond!

As I realised how I had been duped, I put the phone gently back down on the table.

"That crafty..."

Jiles took the opportunity to speak up, "So what happened, Maxie."

"Prepare yourself." I answered. "We're going to have company in T minus 15 minutes."

Author's Note

So yeah, I know this thing is going by slowly, but it's the Christmas holidays now, so I should be able to get a lot more time for writing.